A/N: Thanks to everyone who is reading and especially to my awesome reviewers :) Here's a nice long chapter! Enjoy!
Owen heard drawers slamming in Teddy's room and went to check on her after putting Leo and Allison down for a nap downstairs. He opened her door and saw that there were clothes all over the place. On the floor, hanging out of drawers, on the bed. "What are you doing?"
"None of it looks right," Teddy complained.
"Um okay," Owen said. "What are you getting dressed for?"
Teddy sighed. "Date with Tom."
Owen furrowed his eyebrows. "I thought you two were on a break."
"It's complicated," Teddy told him. "Because I can't just let him date her. Or he will fall back in love with her. He needs to know that I still want him. So, we're going on a date."
"So, he's essentially dating both of you?" Owen asked, disapprovingly.
Teddy sighed. She didn't like to think of it that way. She preferred to think of it as Tom was with her but was spending some time with Lizzie. But, truthfully, they had spoken only once this week so it was likely that he was seeing more of Lizzie than her. "Yeah, kind of."
"Okay, well, I'm confused."
"Welcome to the club," Teddy muttered.
"So, what's the deal with the clothes?"
"I just want to look perfect but all of my clothes look terrible on me."
"You look nice in what you're wearing," Owen said. He had never seen Teddy be so worried about her appearance before.
Teddy glared at him. "I look like a fire truck."
"How so?" Owen asked, confused.
"Red and boxy," Teddy answered.
"Alright then," Owen said, figuring that agreeing with Teddy right now was probably the best course of action. "How about this?"
Teddy peeled off the dress she was wearing and put that one on. Owen's eyes diverted to the ceiling as she changed.
"Are you done?" he asked.
"Yes," Teddy answered, an annoyed tone in her voice. "Did you really need to look away? It's not like you haven't seen me naked before. Am I that disgusting?"
"No," Owen insisted, unsure of how he got in trouble for not looking at her in her underwear. "Teddy, are you okay? I feel like you've been very-"
"What?" Teddy snapped when he didn't continue.
"Uh, sensitive," Owen told her.
Teddy gave him a stern look. "No, I'm not. Can you please zip me?"
Teddy turned around and Owen pulled the zipper up. Except for it stopped half way up. Owen's eyes widened, afraid of having to tell Teddy that the dress wouldn't close. He tried pulling some of the fabric towards the back to help but the dress was too tight.
"It won't close," Owen told her cautiously. Teddy turned to him and had tears in her eyes. She was about to cry and Owen really didn't want that. Teddy crying was one of the saddest things to see. "It's okay. We'll find you something else to wear."
"No, we won't!" Teddy cried. She laid down on the bed on top of all the clothes and cried. "I've gained weight and nothing fits me. And, Lizzie is so pretty."
Owen swallowed unsure of how to help Teddy. He put his hand on her shoulder. "Teddy."
"Why am I doing this?" Teddy asked.
"Crying?" Owen asked. "I'm not really sure."
"No, dummy," she said. "Why am I getting all bent out of shape and nervous to go on a date with my fiance?"
"Oh," Owen replied. He sighed. He hated that Tom was doing this to her. She knew Teddy would let Tom take his time making his decision even if it was destroying her inside.
"I'm just going to cancel," Teddy said, taking out her phone to text Tom. "I can't do this if I look like crap."
"No, you don't look like crap," Owen promised, taking her phone away from her. Owen found it a little strange that they were having their date in the middle of the afternoon. "What are you two doing today?
"I bought him Knicks tickets. So, we're going to Portland to see them play… well, I don't know some other team."
"Portland, as in Oregon?" Owen asked. Teddy nodded. "That's like three hours away."
"Yeah, it's the closest place that they play," Teddy told him.
"Oh," Owen said, thinking it was sweet that Teddy would actually sit through a game with him. "Alright then, can I make a suggestion?"
"Sure."
"Wear something more casual," Owen offered. "You'd be a little overdressed for a basketball game."
Teddy groaned at the thought of having to start her clothing search all over again, but Owen helped her pick out a more casual outfit. Then, she put on her makeup, telling herself that she had to be done crying for the night.
"Hello?" they heard from downstairs. Tom was here.
"Oh, I'm not ready yet," Teddy told Owen.
"I'll go tell him that," Owen offered. He went downstairs and saw Tom holding Allison. He was furious with Tom for what he was doing to Teddy. "Do you always let yourself into other people's homes and pick up their children?"
"What?" Tom asked.
"You don't live here right now so you need to knock," Owen insisted. He took Allison from him. "And, don't touch my daughter unless Teddy or I give you permission."
"As far as I knew, I had permission considering I've been helping to raise her for the last eight months."
"Yeah, well that was before you started questioning your love for Teddy," Owen responded. "What the hell happened to her being 'the first and the only choice'?"
Tom sighed. He hated hurting Teddy. Owen sighed too. He knew that it wasn't fair for him to tell Tom to choose Teddy before he was certain. Not fair to Tom or to Teddy. He whispered, "Just make sure to compliment her. She's been extremely self-conscious."
"I always do," Tom replied. Teddy came down the stairs. She was wearing a bright blue top covered by a gray cardigan with leggings and tall brown boots. She looked gorgeous. "Wow. You look absolutely beautiful."
Teddy smiled halfheartedly. She didn't feel beautiful. "Thanks."
Tom led her to the car and got the door for her.
"Alright where are we heading?" Tom asked her. "We could get lunch at Alfredo's or-"
Teddy plugged in the address to the game on her phone and put it on display for Tom.
"It's a surprise," Teddy said. Her goal was to be as normal as possible today with Tom. He had told her that's what he was looking for so she would try to give him just that but with a special date. "Just follow the GPS."
Tom smiled at her and started driving.
"So, how was your week?" Tom asked.
"It was fine. How was yours?"
"Good," he answered.
Teddy swallowed, holding back tears. How could his week be good when he had barely seen her all week? It hurt her to think about him with Lizzie. They must be having a good time together. How many times had they gone out together this week? Did he even want to be here with her today?
"Hello? Earth to Altman," Tom said, pulling Teddy out of her thoughts. He had said something to her but she seemed to be deep in thought.
"What?" Teddy asked, not having heard anything that he said. She felt light-headed and nauseous. This date was making her feel sick.
"Did you hear me? I said that Amelia and I got approval to start clinical trials," Tom repeated.
"Wow, that's incredible," Teddy said, trying to sound happy for him since this was such a big milestone but also just feeling like crap.
"Are you okay?" Tom asked. Teddy seemed sad. He knew it was because of Lizzie. She had given her approval but this was obviously eating away at her. He wasn't sure if he should bring it up or if it was better for them to just enjoy their day together.
"Can you pull over?" Teddy asked, her stomach churning.
"Why? You want to talk?" he asked, feeling nervous.
"Please just pull over!" Teddy urged. Tom pulled to the shoulder and stopped the car. Teddy flung the door open barely stepped out before throwing up on the side of the road. Tom got out of the car and went around to the passenger's side. He drew Teddy's hair back and held it in a ponytail with one hand while his other hand rubbed her back. When she finished vomiting, she went back to the car.
"You okay now?" Tom asked once he got back into the car. Teddy nodded. He rubbed her shoulder gently. "Why don't we go home, watch a movie, and I'll play with your hair until you fall asleep."
"No," Teddy said sternly. Teddy wanted this night to be about Tom. She had gotten the Knicks tickets knowing that he would enjoy it. And, she would enjoy making him happy. A night at home with Tom caring for her would not be nearly as fun for him.
"Teddy, you're sick. Come on, we can go out another time," Tom insisted.
"No, we can't," Teddy argued as Tom turned the car around. She reached into her purse and pulled out a set of tickets. "The Knicks are only playing tonight."
"You want to go to a basketball game?" Tom asked, surprised. For several reasons. Teddy hated basketball. Not to mention that the Knicks were playing in Portland tonight which was quite a drive.
Teddy nodded sadly thinking Tom would be more excited. "I thought you would like to see a game."
"Teddy, trust me, I would love to go. But, if you aren't feeling well-"
"I feel fine now," Teddy promised. "I got it out of my system. Please, can we go to the game?"
Tom smiled. He was thrilled that Teddy would do this for him. He was worried that she was sick but he could tell that he was going to lose the fight to take her home. "Alright. Let's go to the game."
Teddy smiled and grabbed his hand. Teddy and Tom enjoyed their road trip down to Portland, stopping for lunch along the way. When they got to the game, they found their seats.
"You're still feeling okay, right?" Tom asked her.
"Yeah, of course," Teddy said. She knew it was because she couldn't stop thinking about him and Lizzie together but wanted to reassure him. "I think I had just been running around too much before you picked me up. Owen told me at the last minute that you don't wear a dress to a basketball game."
Tom laughed. "You're so cute."
During the game, Teddy let Tom tell her what was going on and Teddy actually tried to understand. Sure, she understood the basics but didn't quite understand all the foul calls. At one point, Tom offered to get her snacks and Teddy stopped him, telling him to enjoy the game and that she would get the snacks. She gave him a kiss on the cheek before getting up to get them food.
As Tom was watching the game, a timeout was called and the guy in the seat next to him started talking to him.
"How did you do it?" the guy asked him.
"Do what?" Tom questioned.
"Your girl. She doesn't make you get up from the game," the man said. "My wife made me get up five times already to get her food. I finally had to tell her to get her own goddamn ice cream."
Tom shrugged. He didn't like that this guy cared more about the game than his wife.
"I'm just saying, you are one lucky guy," the man said.
Tom had to agree with that. And, yet, he was still going out with his ex-wife. He felt guilty. Teddy had planned an incredibly special day for him. Which honestly seemed a little strange. Usually he was the one planning special dates for her. Did she think that he wasn't happy with what they already had? Is that why she planned this?
"Alright, I got us pizza, popcorn, and beer," Teddy said, sliding into her seat with full arms. They enjoyed the rest of the game together and then headed back to the car.
"Thank you so much, Teddy," Tom said. "That was a great surprise."
"I'm glad you liked it," Teddy replied with a smile. She grabbed his hand and kissed it while he drove. "Tom, I-"
"What?" he asked when she paused.
"I love you," Teddy told him. "I know I don't always show you how important you are to me but you are. I just want to make sure you know that."
"Um are you okay?" he asked, confused as to where she got that idea from. "Are you dying or something?"
"What? No," Teddy answered. "I was trying to be - I don't know - loving."
"Oh. It just sounded like you were making sure I knew you loved me before you died," Tom said, grimly.
"Or before you decide to go back to your ex," Teddy muttered to herself.
"I heard that," Tom told her. "Teddy, you shouldn't worry about that."
"Really? I shouldn't?" Teddy asked skeptically. "So, you're not still confused about your feelings for her?"
Tom paused. "I just meant that obviously you planned tonight with the intention of fixing something between us. But, I know exactly how you feel about me. And, I know how I feel about you. There's nothing to fix, Teddy."
"Obviously there is or you wouldn't even be entertaining the idea of being with her," Teddy responded.
"Teddy, it has nothing to do with you," Tom insisted. "My feelings for her are separate from you. They don't make me love you any less or feel at all different about you."
Teddy rested her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes. That didn't make her feel any better.
"Look, Teddy, you said I could take some time to figure things out," Tom reminded her.
"I know," Teddy said.
"Please, just give me a little more time," Tom begged her.
What choice did she have? If she said no, then it would definitely be over. "Okay."
"What did you do this weekend?" Amelia asked Tom on Monday morning.
"Saw a Knicks game," Tom answered.
"With Teddy? Or Lizzie?" Amelia asked accusingly, revealing to him for the first time that she knew that he was going out with Lizzie.
"Teddy," Tom replied. "How'd you find out?"
"Teddy told me," Amelia informed him. "She was really hurting last week at the thought of you with Lizzie. Why would you do this to her?"
"Come on. Give me a break," Tom pleaded. "It's not like I'm trying to hurt her. I'm just trying to make the right choice."
"You already did. When you asked Teddy to marry you."
"If I remember correctly, you once told me that you thought Lizzie was perfect for me," Tom stated.
"When? When did I say that?" Amelia asked.
"Back when I was teaching you to become the amazing surgeon that you are," Tom reminded her. "You said that I was a pain in the ass and that I was lucky that I had Lizzie because she would be the only woman to put up with me."
Amelia rolled her eyes. "You have a freakishly good memory. But, that was years ago. That was before you two fell apart. Before you isolated yourself from her and she cheated on you. Before I watched you fall in love with Teddy."
"I mean, we had a legitimate reason for falling apart," Tom defended.
"Yeah, you did," Amelia agreed. "But, you and Lizzie never had a strong relationship. It was all just fun and games between you two. You and Teddy have something real. Something deeper than that."
Tom considered Amelia's words but wasn't exactly sure how to process them.
"What do you like about your relationship with Lizzie right now?" Amelia questioned.
"I don't know. I like talking with her."
"About what?"
"Everything," Tom answered. "We talk about our relationship. We talk about David."
"Don't live in the past, Tom," Amelia warned before looking back down at her patient's chart.
"I'm not," Tom assured her, following Amelia's lead and getting back to work. Tom couldn't stop thinking about Teddy and Lizzie. Catherine had seemed so sure about him and Lizzie being right for each other. Knowing that he wasn't crazy for thinking that he should give Lizzie another chance, he had leaned towards choosing Lizzie slightly. And, now Amelia was telling him to choose Teddy, and he couldn't disagree with her that maybe he and Lizzie didn't have a strong enough relationship. All the advice was really just confusing him more.
Tom spent the next few days trying to figure out what to do. He had spent time with both Teddy and Lizzie this week, hoping that he would have some sort of epiphany that just never seemed to come. When he was with Teddy he wanted to be with Teddy. And, when he was with Lizzie, he wanted to be with Lizzie. In the time in between, Tom could only think about how his indecision was affecting Teddy. Lizzie seemed indifferent about the situation. She had come into this with nothing to lose. Teddy on the other hand was trying to be happy when they were together, but Tom could tell she was sad. Tom wanted nothing more than to just hold her and make her feel better. He wanted to hear her laugh again.
Tom sighed. Thinking about Teddy so much made the scale tip towards choosing her. But, Tom knew that a visit to Lizzie would easily tip the scale back to neutral. He grabbed his coat and headed to Lizzie's to stop himself from telling Teddy that he chooses her without thinking it through first.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Lizzie asked when she opened her door and saw Tom. She wasn't expecting him but was certainly happy he was there.
"Thought I'd surprise you," Tom said, trying to sound happy. "Want to walk?"
Lizzie smiled. "Let me grab my coat."
Tom was walking with Lizzie while she told him all about the funny, annoying, and stupid things her students would do in class. Tom laughed along with her, reading her body language for when to laugh rather than actually paying attention.
As he listened to her talk on and on, it hit him. Amelia was right. They had run out of stories to share about David and Tom was starting to feel empty all over again, just like when they had lost him. Just like when their marriage had started failing. He didn't care about her current life much, just about their past.
He couldn't see a future with her. He didn't want to be with her. He wanted what they had before David died. The feeling of being undeniably in love. Being a dad to an amazing child who made you into a better person. The same things he had with Teddy. He had latched onto Lizzie, thinking that he could get his old life back exactly the way it was. But, nothing would bring David back. Nothing would bring back the love that he and Lizzie had lost.
"Tom, are you listening to me?" Lizzie asked, when Tom seemed to be zoning out.
"No," he answered, honestly.
"Um, why not?" she asked, feeling offended.
Tom stopped her and she turned to face him. "I think we made a mistake."
"What do you mean?"
Tom sighed. "Getting back together. It was a mistake."
"Where is this coming from?" Lizzie asked him, surprised. "You've seemed to enjoy our dates up until now. What the hell changed?"
"I was enjoying remembering the past with you," Tom told her. "I've never gotten to talk to someone about those memories with David in the same way that I could with you. But, I can't see this as my future."
Lizzie pursed her lips together. "I thought you regretted letting me go."
"I regret that I didn't fight for you then. Now, I think I just regret that I wasn't a good enough husband to do so. I want to be better than that."
"But, not for me," Lizzie realized, tears coming to her eyes. "For Teddy."
"Yeah," Tom admitted. Honestly he wasn't sure what would happen with Teddy even though he was ending things with Lizzie. Teddy might not be so receptive to him after putting her through all this. But choosing Lizzie as a backup plan wasn't fair to her. "I'm going to fight for her."
"What about fighting for me? Or for David?" Lizzie argued angrily. "He would want us to work things out."
"David's dead," Tom told her, irritated that she would try to guilt trip him by making him consider what David would want. "He was ten years old. Of course, he would have wanted us to be together. But, I think if he could see where we are at today that he would just want us to be happy."
Lizzie was crying. "I want it all back."
Tom sighed. "I know. I get that. But, we can't have it back. He's not coming back."
Lizzie sobbed and Tom hugged her.
"It's time to move on with our lives, Lizzie," Tom whispered. She sniffled, wiped her eyes, and nodded. Tom kissed the top of her head as he hugged her one last time. She was still the mother of his son and he would always care about her for that. But, he wasn't in love with her anymore. "Take care."
He walked away, feeling mixed emotions. It was sad to realize that he couldn't have that life back. It was freeing to know that he could finally put that past behind him, knowing that he had given his relationship with Lizzie another effort and had ended things with her in a much better way. It was also eye-opening to realize that maybe all of the hurt that he had endured during that time had eventually led him to finding Teddy, who he was sure was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He just hoped she still wanted the same.
Teddy practically ran through the house to the bathroom as soon as she and Owen got home from Christmas shopping for the kids on the day before Thanksgiving. She threw up into the toilet. Owen knocked on the door.
"You okay in there?" he asked.
"Yeah," Teddy managed as she waited for another round of nausea to hit. She thought that her nausea recently had been due to thoughts of Tom with Lizzie but it just wouldn't go away.
Owen ignored her claim that she was okay and went into the bathroom.
"Stop, we can't both be sick," Teddy warned. "Someone has to be healthy for the kids."
"Teddy," Owen sighed. "I'm worried about you. You basically never get sick."
"Ugh," Teddy groaned, flushing the toilet. "The last time I was this sick was when-"
Teddy's eyes widened.
"When?" Owen asked.
Teddy's eyes watered. "When I was pregnant with Allie."
"You think you're pregnant?" Owen questioned.
"Maybe," Teddy suggested. "I mean, jeez, the weight, the nausea."
"The moodiness," Owen muttered.
"What did you just say?" Teddy asked bitterly.
"My point exactly," Owen said. "Are you late?"
"I don't know. I skip my periods," Teddy told him.
"Okay," Owen said. "How about I go get you a test on my way home from picking up the kids from Amelia's?"
Teddy nodded nervously and Owen left.
Teddy thought about her kids. How would they raise three of them? What would Tom say if she were pregnant? Would he suddenly want her back and toss aside his feelings for Lizzie? This felt like deja vu. Would Owen even want to help with this third kid since it's not his? Would this kid be okay?
Allison had been a little miracle. So healthy and perfect. But, pregnancy at her age was risky. For both her and the baby. What were the odds that this child would be fine just like Allison?
Owen came home with the kids and a small bag from the drugstore.
"Alright," Owen told her. "Ready to pee?"
"No," Teddy said nervously.
Owen held put his hands on her shoulders. "What do you mean, no? You're not excited?"
Teddy shook her head. "Maybe I would be if I were doing this with Tom. If he still wanted to be with me. But, I don't want to do this alone."
"Do you want to call him?" Owen asked.
Teddy shook her head.
"You're not going to hide it from him for four months like you did to me right?"
Teddy glared at him. "No. I've learned from my mistakes. It's just that there might not be anything to tell. Let's just take the test first."
"You aren't alone," Owen reminded her. "I'm here. I know you were alone when you did this with Allison. But, I will be by your side the entire time."
Teddy smiled. He had no idea just how alone she felt while taking the pregnancy test for Allison. Pacing around her apartment and praying that she wouldn't have to call Owen. But, also hoping that it was positive because there was nothing more that she wanted than to have a baby that was part her and part Owen. "Okay. But, I can pee by myself."
Owen laughed. "Oh good."
Teddy took the test into the bathroom and held the stick in her hand. She took a deep breath. Whatever happened, she would be okay. She peed on the stick and then brought it out to Owen while they waited. Owen stared at the stick waiting for the reading as if he would miss the results if he blinked.
"Don't stare at it," Teddy told him.
"Okay," Owen said. "What do we do while we wait then?"
"I don't know. Talk to me?"
"What do you want to talk about?" Owen asked.
"God, Owen, you suck at this," Teddy told him, angrily. She recognized that she was being too harsh. "Sorry. I'm a little stressed."
"Did you and Tom talk about having kids? Well more kids than we already have?" Owen asked.
"No," Teddy said. "I mean, I think we both knew it would be a little far fetched. I'm not exactly at the prime baby-making age. I'm not supposed to be this fertile."
"That doesn't mean that you can stop using protection," Owen lectured.
Teddy glared at him. "I'm on the pill."
"Oh, well you weren't a year and a half ago," Owen commented.
"Yeah, cause I wasn't having sex," Teddy reminded him. "You just showed up and didn't even think to bring condoms."
"I was being spontaneous," Owen defended.
"Mhm," Teddy said, nudging him. They both laughed. It was serious back then but now it was kind of humorous. All that had led to their perfect little girl.
Owen looked at the clock. Only a little longer. "Just so you know, I will help you raise this baby whether or not you and Tom get back together. This baby would just be another great addition to our family."
Teddy smiled. She was happy to have Owen by her side for this. He reached down and handed her the stick.
"Congratulations," he said. Teddy looked down at the reading that told her that she was pregnant. Despite not knowing how to feel about this baby before, she couldn't help but smile wide.
A/N: Please review! I'd love to know what you think. I didn't want to draw out the Lizzie situation too long but also didn't want it to seem rushed so I hope I did okay with that. How do you feel about Teddy's news?