It Started with a Kiss
A Hellsing Fanfic
Sapphirewyren
Author's Note: I do not own Hellsing
I was trying to think of a Halloween fanfic since the holiday is coming up, but I came up with this instead. I hope you enjoy.
How she got here, she will never know. She thought she hid that damn invitation, next time she would burn it, that way Walter would not pester her into coming to such an event. When she was 16 this might have been a dream come true, but now, it was like a nightmare that she could not wake up from. And the gown! How the hell did Walter know her size; that creepy butler. But here she was at the Queen's Christmas gala in a gown and glaring at any man that looked in her direction. At least the eggnog had alcohol in it.
"My, Integra don't you look lovely tonight" came the greasy voice of one Enrico Maxwell.
"Go away, Maxwell or I'll rip your balls out through your mouth."
"You finally look like a lady, yet act so boorish."
"What part of my promise did you not understand, you dirty Papist?"
"You wouldn't start a scene here would you?"
"If I get the pleasure of ramming my heel through your eyes, then yes I would."
"So violent tonight. But I am here to fulfill tradition."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Maxwell pointed up and there above them to Integra's horror was mistletoe. Was there no God in heaven tonight?
"I believe it is customary to kiss."
"I'm NOT kissing you, Maxwell"
"I understand that being a virgin, you have never kissed anyone before, but I will guide your tongue."
"What is wrong with you? If you think I'm going to kiss, you're more stupid than that ponytail you wear."
"I can understand if you are afraid…."
"I'm not afraid, I'm repulsed."
Maxwell puckered his lips and started making kissing noises, with his eyes closed. Sooner or later someone was going to see this. "Why me of all people?" thought Integra. Maxwell started leaning towards her. Just as Integra was going to pop him a good one, she felt something rub up on her leg. Looking down she saw one of Her Majesty's corgis and thought up an evil plan. Picking up the corgi, Integra held it out towards Maxwell. The corgi began to lick Maxwell's mouth. Maxwell, thinking that it was Integra's tongue started licking back. After several minutes of tongue wrestling the dog, Maxwell, with his eyes still closed said "I didn't know you were a such good kisser, Integra." In a most seductive voice Integra replied "Well, I do have a good teacher." This excited Maxwell and he said "Ooooohh give me more of that sugar."
"If you insist."
And Maxwell and the dog proceeded to do more battle of the tongues, while Integra tried not to puke and laugh at the same time. A couple minutes later and a voice called out "Hey! Maxwell why are you Frenching that dog?!" The bishop's eyes popped open. "Arf!" said the corgi. While Maxwell had a look of abject humiliation and disgust on his face, Integra wore a smug smirk on hers. As Integra walked off she said to him: "Merry Christmas, you dirty papist."