Snow Day

A Hellsing FanFic

Sapphirewyren

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing

Author's note: We are back for another painful beat down for Enrico, guys!

Winters were brutal in England and this one was no different. While everyone else were being, stupid and freezing their asses off playing in the snow, Integra was sitting in her warm office, drinking a hot cup of Peppermint tea and ignoring the mountainous amount of paper work on her desk. Suddenly the door of her office burst open and in stormed one dirty papist, Enrico Maxwell. The bishop was carrying a large bucket filled with pre-made snowballs. This was something the Hellsing director did not need. She made a mental note to fire all the security guards. Enrico picked out one snowball and hurled it; "Prepare to die, heretic whore!" Integra would have dived under her desk for cover, if the snowball didn't land three feet in front of her desk.

"Dammit! Let me try again. Prepare to suffer the icy wrath of God, Protestant Sow!" Enrico threw another snowball, and again it fell short of its target. The crazed bishop was determined and threw a third snowball and failed again.

"Would you like me to throw the snowball at myself?" Integra asked in a bored voice.

"NO! You WILL feel my icy wrath!"

"I thought it was God's icy wrath."

"That too!"

By his eight feeble attempt, Enrico was pissed and out of breath. It was so pitiful, that Integra almost felt sorry for the Italian – almost.

"Why don't I help you throw a snowball at me?" Enrico gave Integra a suspicious look; "Why would you do that?"

"You're getting my floor wet and wouldn't you like to wipe this stupid smirk off my face?" Enrico rubbed his chin, she was up to something, but that look of superiority really ticked him off. And he would give anything to wipe it off her face. "Ok, what do I do?" Integra rose from her chair; "First you sit here and try and look like a haughty English bitch with a stick up her ass."

Enrico pouted and stuck out his lower lip; "Like this?"

"Bitchier"

The bishop stuck his nose in the air; "Is this better?" Integra tried not to laugh; "That'll have to do." The commander reached into the bucket and covered up the ashtray that she had slipped from the desk in snow. It was then that Enrico had a sense of foreboding and like one nearing death, whose life flashes before their eyes, his teeth flashed before his. Integra hurled the snow-covered ashtray at the bishop's face breaking his nose and teeth. Enrico fell to the floor clutching his shattered face and cursing loudly; "You bith! You wuined ma faceth" (You bitch! You ruined my face!) Enrico's face looked like a murder scene.

"Now you know how to throw a snowball, you degenerate warthog."

Walter ran into the office upon hearing the ruckus; "Sir, are you alright?" Integra nodded and pointed to the bleeding bishop; "I am fine, but this pig is getting his filthy blood on my floor." As the butler helped Enrico out of the office, Integra heard him comment about how unhappy the Pope will be. She called out after him; "The Pope is more than welcome to have a chat, I'll gladly show him how a snowball is thrown."

Chapter End

Don't you just love the snow?