Happy Birthday Integra
A Hellsing FanFic
Sapphirewyren
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing
Enrico had decided that a nice drive around Rome would be a good idea. Now as he was getting his face bashed into the hood of his car, he knew he should have just stayed in bed. The person doing the bashing of the bishop's face was none other than Integra Hellsing. And she was infuriated by the little birthday 'gift' he had sent her.
Flashback….
As Integra was playing a game called 'how much paper work I can burn and get away with', Walter and two men wheeling a huge crate on a dolly entered her office. Integra, not happy that her game was being disturbed asked; "Walter, what is the meaning of this?"
"Apparently, someone sent a birthday gift for you, Sir."
"Since when do I celebrate my birthday?"
One of the delivery men said; "We were told to open it up." And that's what they did using crowbars. Inside the box was a huge cake….
"Dear God, don't tell me….." muttered Walter.
Inside the cake, popped out a stripper…who was a tranny. The stripper then proceeded to sing "Happy Birthday"- badly and with an Italian accent. After he was finished, he told the commander; "This is the part, where I give you a lap dance, Baby."
Pulling out her pistol and pointing it at the stripper, Integra snarled; "Take one step towards me and I will shoot you." She then left the office muttering something about a certain bishop.
"So, what do we do now?" asked one of the movers.
Walter shrugged.
Present time.
No amount of apologizing or begging placated the angry knight and she repeatedly banged Enrico's head against the car.
"The really stupid part is, it wasn't even my birthday, you Catholic ass!"
"I'm sorry! Stop ruining my face!"
"I'm going to ruin a lot more than your face!" Integra took out a sharp knife, seeing this Enrico became very afraid. "You can't kill me!"
"No, I'm not going to kill you, I'm going to do a lot worse." With this Integra cut off Enrico's ponytail and a couple more inches in various places for good measure. She then gave his eye a solid punch and released him. While he stared in the car's side mirrors in shock at his new haircut, Father Renaldo asked Integra as she walked away; "What did you do with the stripper?"
"I told him to go play with Alucard."
Chapter End
Author's Note: Anyone knows why Renaldo asked about the stripper? And now I know why Integra don't cut her hair. Hope you enjoyed, see you in the next chapter!