I do not own any characters. They all belong to the DragonLord Bioware. Thank you everyone who left comments and favorited/followed! I am so flattered and super appreciate it! If you have any song requests, make sure to leave them! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Rated M for language and lemons.

Chapter 17

Cullen was about to bring his sword down, almost striking Zevran as he rolled into the room, dodging Cullen. He grabbed my arm, putting a dagger to my throat. Always one for dramatics. Cullen pointed his sword at him, preparing to lunge.

"Weapons down!" I commanded, holding out a hand at Cullen. "It's Zevran. He's an ally."

"Ah, so you've heard of me?" Zevran asked, loosening his grip a little. Cullen hesitated, deciding whether or not to drop his sword.

"Yes," I answered. "Though your lock skills could use some work. Does that door even have a lock?" I tugged on his arm, getting him to lower it. He grabbed my arm, his grip tight.

"Leliana said you were on the run from the Crows. Why did you come here?" Cullen questioned, his Commander voice low and full of authority. He threw his sword on the ground and motioned for Zevran to release me.

"This is kinda unnecessary," I muttered to Zevran. Zevran glanced down at me and smiled his usual sassy smile.

"It is always nice to hold the arm of a lovely lady, no?" Zevran asked with a smirk.

"No," Cullen answered, his arms crossing in annoyance. "How did you even get in?"

Zevran's smirk held on his face, and he laughed. "I was trained by the Crows. I am one of the best assassins in the world. I am ridiculously awesome."

I chuckled and Cullen's frown deepened. I turned to look at Zevran, his tattoos even cooler in person. His hair was longer, reminding me of Legolas. How could he get here without anyone knowing? The only other person able to get someone in was…seriously? "Cole let you in."

Zevran's smirk turned into a full-fledged smile. "Oooh. Clever as well as beautiful. How did I luck out in finding your room?"

I blushed and Cullen rolled his eyes. "That is exactly what we'd like to know as well," he growled.

"I was looking for your spy master," Zevran informed him, nodding his head toward the main part of Skyhold. "This area seemed to be unoccupied." He glanced between the two of us. "You seem to know my name, but I did not get the pleasure in getting yours."

"Commander Cullen," Cullen informed him. "And the arm you are holding onto belongs to Captain King. Release it so I can show you to Leliana." He reached down and picked up his sword sheathing it.

"Ah. Good plan, Commander." Zevran drawled, running his hand down to grab mine, bringing it up to his lips. "We shall talk later, Captain King."

I wasn't expecting him to be so…charming. I should have figured he would, based on the first meeting with him in Origins. I raised my eyebrows at him, smiling. "I'm sure we will," I informed him. Zevran turned toward Cullen, who held the door toward the rampart open. He brushed by, giving me a wink before leaving. Cullen rolled his eyes, glancing back at me. I shrugged, not knowing what to say in this moment.

The door shut and I glanced at my other door, still open. I went to it, checking the outside and the inside of it. Just as suspected…a lock. Cullen had a lock made to my door…did he have the key? How is Zevran still so bad at lock picking? Why would Cole let him in? Ah, shit! Cole! I needed to get to him before Cullen finds him in his sour mood.

I headed back to the tavern, feeling odd not having anything with me. The energy was high still and I searched the tavern for Cole. I bumped into shoulders, muttering apologies as I peered around, hoping to spot his large hat. "I thought you were gone for the evening," Stroud's voice said.

Turning to face him, I gave a small smile. "I'm looking for Cole. It's kind of urgent. Have you seen him?" My eyes pivoted around the room, landing back on Stroud.

He glanced around as well, a slight frown on his face. "Last I saw him, he was heading upstairs."

Of course! His room. I felt a bit of relief and my shoulders relaxed. "Thank you!" I told him, placing a hand on his arm as I went toward the stairs. "You're the best!" I ran up the stairs, hurrying to the third floor.

The third floor was empty, and I didn't see Cole in the room. "Cole?" I called in the room. I headed toward the stairs that led to the room with the bed. "Cole?"

"I'm here," he said from the room, making me freeze. I went back down the stairs, glancing around the dark room.

"I can't see you, dude," I told him. I squinted in the darkness, trying to see if I could see his face. He stepped out from a corner, and I felt the relief in my chest, seeing him first.

"What's wrong?" Cole asked me, coming forward. "Why are you so concerned?"

"Zevran," I began to explain. "The blonde elf. Why did you let him in?"

He smiled his small innocent smile and I knew that Cullen will not appreciate Cole letting people in for whatever reason. "He needed Leliana. I thought it would make her happy."

I replied with a smile of my own, understanding where he was coming from. I would have let him in myself if I was by the gate…and had a way of getting him past the guards. Cole should be a spy. Geesh. "They are old friends. I am positive she will be extremely happy to see him again. Only one missing from their old gang is Alistair. And Rowan, but she died to end the Blight." I glanced over at him. "Don't get any ideas about Alistair."

Cole nodded, his face trying to process what I was saying. "You know much about this world, yet yours is a mystery to us all. I wonder if someday you'll choose to allow one of us in willingly."

I focused my blue eyes on his face, wondering if I was always subconsciously thinking of my past. Home. No. Skyhold was home now. These people were my home now. "When all this is over, maybe," I told him. "I'm trying to move forward here now though, Cole. With this life, but I know I won't be able to let my past go. It's what made me. It's what helped me discover you, and I wouldn't miss getting to know you."

Cole shook his head and I was pretty sure he was blushing under his hat. "Are…are we….friends?"

I raised my eyebrows, surprised he didn't know that yet. "We are most definitely friends, Cole." I glanced back at the stairs going down to the tavern. "I have to get back, but you need to keep hidden from Cullen. He's not in the best of moods, trust me."

"He's upset because I helped," Cole stated in understanding. "I think he's upset by many things."

Understatement. That man gets upset pretty easily, especially when it comes to him and his authority in keeping places safe. Oh, and Hawke, blood magic, and anything really to do with Hawke. "I'll talk to him and make sure he sees your side."

"Thank you for looking out for me," Cole told me. His attention went toward the stairs and he glanced back at me. "Confusion. Frustration. Happiness. Gratitude. Admiration. Another feeling he can't quite describe. As if energy was building in his chest, trying to break free every time he hears her name or see her face. The rumors are eating at him. She can't be committed. He tries to let her go, but then he sees her and he is overwhelmed with emotions. Should he go to her? Should he?"

I felt confusion grow in me. I glanced back, almost afraid to see who it was. No one. The room was empty but the two of us. Sighing, I turned to Cole. "I should get going. Just stay out of Cullen's sight. Alright? I'll find you tomorrow."

Cole nodded, his head tilted to the side, taking me in. "Tomorrow then."

I gave a half smile, heading to the stairs, slowly walking down them. I ran a hand through my hair. Tired from the events of the day. Things weren't how they were in game. What was going on? I needed to think this through. I headed to the stairs to the first floor, my head in a spin.

So first off, Hawke stayed. Second, Hawke and Stroud are alive because of what I did. Third, I have a demon in my head. Fourth, I'm fucking here. Fifth, Zevran was here. How would this effect what happens at the ball? Would it truly? I felt zombie like as I made my way around tables, trying to get out of the tavern.

You changed everything. You touched a rift and undid the balance of Thedas. How selfish. How cruel of you to do this to your friends here but also your family at home. They think you're dead now. Did you know that? Yes. They are planning your funeral as we speak. Nightmare hissed.

"Rift! Watch out!" Bull bellowed, grabbing my arm and yanking me aside. I blinked a couple times, figuring out what exactly just happened. "You have to pay attention or you'll be walking into walls."

"Thanks," I told him, rubbing my hands on my face. "I was just lost in thought."

"Come on," Bull instructed, leading me back to the table he was at earlier. Dorian still sat there as well, and I knew the two of them were probably having a date like moment. Bull gestured to a chair and gently pushed me into it, before sitting down next to me. "Drink," he ordered, placing a tankard in front of me.

"I thought you and the Commander were done for the evening?" Dorian asked with a bit of tease. His grey eyes studied me and I saw him notice my mood. "What happened?"

"Nothing, honestly," I told them. "A correspondence of Leliana's came tonight and Cullen had to take him to her." I played with the cup between my hands. "Cole let him in, so I was trying to save him before Cullen found him."

Bull leaned back in his chair, his face lost in thought. "We are getting more and more unexpected visitors at Skyhold since you arrived," he thought out loud. I didn't connect the people coming because of me. How did that make sense though? I didn't get Anders or Zevran here. They had their own reasons for being here. The events are still going to happen, and at least we will have a base plan for it.

Dorian's eyes still observed me and I felt rather uncomfortable with it. "He's getting to you, isn't he? Nightmare?"

My eyes flickered to his grey ones for a beat before going back to my cup. "Yeah," I replied truthfully. "Nothing I can't handle though. I just need some sleep."

"And beer," Bull told me, gesturing for me to drink. I lifted it up, drinking the beer, feeling the relaxing effect on me. "See, Rift. Told you it would help."

"I didn't mean to interrupt your night," I apologized. "Or whatever you were doing." It was my turn to give them wicked grins and Dorian rolled his eyes.

"We weren't doing anything but having a drink together," Dorian informed me, lazily crossing his legs and leaning back in his chair.

"Last night though," Bull chimed in with a saucy grin, causing Dorian to almost blush. "We were doing a lot more than nothing."

I felt my grin grow wider and I winked at Dorian. "Well I find that adora-bull!"

Bull slapped the table in his laughter and Dorian groaned rolling his eyes once again at my pun. "That's a good one, Rift!" Bull cheered me, lifting his glass. Someone cleared their throat and we all looked over at Stroud, who was standing there, rather uncomfortably…and drunk? "Warden, care to join?" Bull invited.

Stroud gave a polite smile but shook his head. "I came to tell something to the Captain, if she had a moment free."

"Then sit and join us! Her moments are always free at the table if a mug is involved," Dorian told him, gesturing to the chair by Bull and me at the empty side of the table. "We'll go get another round." He gestured his head for Bull to follow and Bull glanced back at me with an eyebrow raised.

Stroud took the open seat, his light eyes on me. "I wouldn't usually do something like this, but I feel that I must before it is too late," he began. I felt myself panic, hoping he wasn't the one Cole was talking about when I was up there. "You probably already guessed at how I feel towards you. You are an amazing human being. Fearless. Strong. Brave," he raved. I felt my mouth open in shock, words wanting to come out, but not being able to form.

Dorian and Bull were at a table behind Stroud, in easy eavesdropping distance away. They didn't even go get drinks, those bastards. Seriously? I focused on Stroud again, giving him my attention. "Stroud-."

"Let me finish, please," he interrupted. He took a deep breath, his face determined. "Hawke told me you are with someone, the Commander. I didn't realize that you two were seeing each other, or I would have acted sooner." Stroud licked his lips and glanced back up at me.

"Kassy, I must tell you that I never felt this way for any woman before. There are so many conflicting feelings that I don't know how to express, but I knew that I must tell you that I have very strong emotions for you." He reached for my hand. "You are always on my mind, and I am constantly trying to figure out ways to bring you up in conversation. This isn't just because of the Fade either. I mean, that is a part of this, but only because that showed me what kind of character you have. I have never felt the need to act upon feelings, but please, let me show you how you should be adored and loved."

I shook my head, putting a hand to it. Did he just say loved? I took in his face, and I saw he was genuine. What the hell? "I'm with Cullen," I said softly. "Besides, you wouldn't like my character much after knowing things I've done."

"Are you two in love?" He asked me. I was taken aback by the question and I didn't answer, glancing over at Dorian and Iron Bull for help. They caught my glance and they looked up at the ceiling pretending not to listen. Seriously?

"I'm a blood mage," I blurted, thinking this would detour him. "And because of it, I….I have a demon in my head."

Stroud gave me a small smile. "I drank darkspawn blood and can tell when they are near." He shrugged. "It would be a lie if I didn't say that there have been dreams and moments when demons were in my head."

I was baffled. This man wasn't even deterred by the thought of me being a blood mage. "But all the Warden's and blood magic with demons?"

His eyes filled with heat, and I knew he was remembering. "Yes. Blood magic can be wrong, and can corrupt those who use it for evil. You aren't evil though. If there was one person, beside Hawke, that could use blood magic for good, it would be you." His hand was still in mine and he gave it a quick squeeze as he looked at them. He let go, pushing his chair back. "Think on it. Please. If you and the Commander were in love, I would step aside, but I will fight hard to prove to you that we could be something amazing."

"I'm with Cullen, Stroud," I repeated, my blue eyes meeting his.

"We'll see." Stroud stood, giving me a smile and nod before leaving, my face probably just covered in confusion.

"Did that just happen?" I asked aloud, leaning back into my chair, hands on my cup again.

"Yes," Dorian replied, sitting in the chair Stroud just vacated. "Yes, it did. I'm on Team Cullen by the way."

"Team Cullen?" Iron Bull asked in shock. "Team Stroud! Did you not hear that speech?"

"Yes, I did." Dorian replied, leaning on the table toward me. "Cullen and Kassy have a connection. They have since the start."

"He keeps doubting her though," Iron Bull argued. "Stroud clearly loves her. Does the Commander feel that way?"

"The Commander just has a hard time conveying his feelings," Dorian retorted. "The way he looks at her, you'd have to have no eyes to see it."

"Stroud didn't even flinch when he told her she had blood magic. He trusts her completely, even with the shit the Wardens pulled with it!"

My head was going back between the two, listening to their arguments, feeling light headed. "I'm going to bed," I told them, neither of them really paying attention to me. I ran a hand through my hair, pushing away from the table. The two of them were still arguing, slowly moving toward each other. It was probably best I left them before they started doing something more…private.

Neither of them noticed my absence and I chuckled, going out into the night. Welcome to Skyhold, the soap opera of Thedas. Stroud loved me? Dorian and Bull picking teams. I was only on one team. Cullen. Stroud was an amazing guy, but I knew that if it came down to choosing him or Cullen, I would choose Cullen in a heartbeat.

I headed toward the main stairs of Skyhold, wanting to get to my bed faster than heading the back way. I jogged up the stairs and opened the main door, the main hall dark except a few torches. Solas' office door was open and dark. He must be with Branwen. I wondered if he painted any new paintings. I opened the door to the rampart, ready to drop in bed.

The light from Cullen's office poured out. He won't like it, if you tell him about Stroud. You don't even want to because your friend told the truth. If he cared, wouldn't he have said he loved you? He didn't though. Nightmare taunted.

Drama King! I told him. Cullen and I was something real. We were what my parents had. Stroud would find something like that too, with someone, eventually. I opened the door to Cullen's office, Cullen glancing up when he heard the door open. He smiled when he saw me, and I shut the door leaning against it. "Did you find her?"

He rolled his eyes, strolling to the other side of his desk. "I did. He is our spy master's problem now." His ankles crossed and he eyed me. "Where did you disappear? I went back to your room and it was empty."

I shifted my weight, not liking the way he was staring. "I went to talk to Cole." Cullen crossed his arms and his face instantly was in Commander. Really?

"He needs to be reined in. If he keeps letting anyone in, Skyhold won't be very safe," he told me.

"Cole is harmless. He knows when and if they truly need help. Apparently, Zevran really needed help," I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. "While you're in Commander mode there is something else I should tell you about, so you don't find out from rumors in the morning." Getting the focus off Cole was the goal and I realized it worked.

Cullen focused on me, his glance intense. "Should I be calling you Captain?"

I tucked my hair behind my ear, glancing at the ground. For some reason, I felt guilty, as if I was the one that made a declaration to Stroud. I took a step forward. "At Herald's Rest, after talking to Cole, I saw Stroud." I chanced a glance up, seeing his golden eyes trying to follow the conversation. "Well, basically he told me that he had very strong feelings toward me and he plans on pursuing it."

Cullen's arms dropped and he ran a hand through his hair. "Stroud?" He asked me with shock. I nodded, placing my hands on my hips. "He…that is….he plans…to pursue you?"

"Yes," I answered. Well this got very awkward.

Cullen cleared his throat and met my eyes. "What did you say?"

"I look forward to it," I said in a jokingly voice. Cullen's face fell and I could tell he was hardening. Shit! Kassy, fix this!

"I see," he began, his arms crossed again. "I thought-."

"Cullen," I interrupted him. I took another step toward him and smiled. "I said I was with you, obviously."

His whiskey eyes held my storm ones and he had the slightest hint of a smile a hand going to the back of his neck. "Maker's breath, Kassy. So, that's it then. Nothing else happened?"

"Well, Dorian and Iron Bull made teams. Dorian's Team Cullen," I told him with a smile. "Iron Bull team Stroud."

Cullen gave a "humph" at this, glancing down at his boots before meeting my eyes again. "I…I don't want you to feel that you are forced to stay in this relationship. I don't want you playing me. If you want to leave, you are free too."

"Playing you?" I asked him. "I only told you so that you didn't hear it from some recruit or Dorian. I am Team Cullen all the way." I slowly walked toward him and put my hand on his chest, leaning up to whisper in his ear. "You're stuck with me, Commander."

Cullen kissed me, his mouth urgent and heavy. I reached a hand down undoing his belt. His hand went into my hair and I moaned, the belt falling off him with a thud. His robe became unfolded and I broke the kiss and pulled it off him. "Unless you rather I leave," I muttered.

"Andraste, Kassy," he growled. "You aren't going anywhere." His hold was tight on me as he kissed me, and I undid my own belt, throwing it on the ground. I broke the kiss to reach down and grab his robe, walking backwards toward his ladder.

"Get that armor off and I'll meet you in bed, Commander," I teased, climbing the rungs while he watched, a hand in his hair. I paid attention to my feet, not wanting to fall by tripping over the fabric. Reaching Cullen's room, I started to undress, throwing the clothing over the ladder. My corset, went first and I heard it reach the office floor with a light thump. A soft maker's breath was barely audible and I heard metal clatter on the ground. I quickly kicked off my boots, throwing them next, followed by my shirt and lastly, pants.

I pulled on the fur, rubbing it against my face, and felt the fabric against my skin. It smelled like him. I smiled to myself, going to the window to look out at the night. I heard Cullen start to come up the ladder and I went and sat on the bed, waiting for him.

Cullen's face was surprised at first when he saw me laying there, but then it turned to pure heat. He crawled onto the bed, his movements, slow and purposeful. He had only his pants on, and I saw his muscles dance with each movement. I stopped him with my foot when he got to me, pushing it against his chest. He smirked at me, grabbing my foot and kissing it. Cullen's hands stroked up my leg, his mouth following. He was at my thighs now, kissing his way toward my core. I blushed thinking of what he was about to do.

"Cullen," I breathed, aware of how long since my bath last night. "I don't-."

"Shh," he replied, his hands running up my sides and he came forward to kiss me with overwhelming passion. "I never imagined you looking as beautiful as you do now." He nipped my jaw and I closed my eyes, leaning my head back into the pillow. "Maker's breath, you should only dress in this."

I giggled, kissing him again, my hands on his back. "People would be confused who was truly Commander. Then there would be chaos, because who would let me command?"

Cullen feathered kisses down my jaw to my chest. "I'd let you," he said before moving the fabric aside to kiss a breast, licking my nipple and causing me to arch my back. He licked his way down my stomach and to my thighs. His hands were on the top of my thighs now and I leaned down to look at him. He grinned up at me and gave me a wink. I felt my stomach flutter and laid my head back down.

He was kissing me at my mound now, and then his tongue was licking my slit. I moaned as he sucked on my clit. My hips moved forward and Cullen let his hand wander my stomach, as I sighed his name. I felt the familiar pressure building as he licked and sucked, and I was moaning loudly then, my fingers in his hair. I heard myself begging him. He grabbed a leg, throwing it over his shoulder and I gasped in pleasure, feeling myself spin out of control, back arched. I yelled his name as I came and he stopped his movements.

He smirked as he came back up to me, very pleased with himself. "Do all templars get taught how to do that? Or only the Captain?" I teased him, panting still from the high.

He chuckled, kissing me. "You enjoyed it then?"

I laughed, my hands on his shoulders. "More than enjoyed it," I admitted, blushing. I sat up, and he followed my movements, his hands never leaving my body. I got to my knees, and kissed him, earning a moan. I traced patterns on his chest, down toward his stomach, feeling his muscles. I trailed light kisses down his chest, nipping at skin as I went. I heard his breath quicken and I smirked, going back up to grab his earlobe between my teeth as I unlaced his pants.

We quickly got them off him and I pushed him back, straddling his hips as I ran my hands down his chest, my fingernails lightly swirling down. He growled, his eyes closing in pleasure, before opening in want, his eyes a bit darker. Bedroom eyes, my friends called them.

I leaned down, kissing him fiercely, my tongue entering his mouth. I needed him, right now. He grabbed my hips and rocked himself upward. I chuckled at him, knowing he was getting impatient. "How did I end up getting the Commander?" I marveled out loud, running my hand back up his chest, I sucked his neck, making sure to leave a mark. Leliana would have a field day with that. "The sexy, heroic, strong," I kissed my way back to his lips. "Fantastic lion king." Cullen growled and lifted me so I was above him.

I put my hands on his chest as I slowly sank onto him. I sighed as he filled me and he groaned feeling exactly the same way. I began to circle my hips, causing a "maker's breath" and "Kass" to escape from his lips as he gripped my hips tightly, moving his own hips. In no time, I had my head back and eyes closed. Cullen's hand ran up my body, exploring every inch he could. We were both on the brink and he came first growling my name. I felt myself go tense as I came, smiling and laying down on his chest.

I felt Cullen catching his breath, and his hand went to my hair, running his fingers through it. Eventually, our breathing were in sync and he kissed my hair, as I moved off his chest to cuddle by his side. I grinned, wrapping the robe around me more. I laid a leg across him, glancing up at him with a smile.

Well, Captain King. You officially are sleeping with Cullen Rutherford. He couldn't have just been naturally this good at sex. Where did he learn it? Who? "Are you always so good at this?" I asked, smiling up at him. He chuckled, and I swore he blushed.

"I feel we owe most of the credit to you," Cullen admitted. "I…I don't…well, I admit, I don't have much experience." His eyes latched onto mine. "I'm afraid to ask who helped you be so…trained."

I raised my eyebrows at him and leaned on an arm to look at him better. "Are you asking if I've had a lot of experience?"

He blushed, looking anywhere but at me. "Andraste. I didn't mean to…that is…it's obvious you have had some experience."

I smiled at him, my hand going to my chest in mock shock. "Commander, are you calling me a harlot?" Cullen's eyes widened and he sat up, a hand at the bridge of his nose.

"No! That isn't what I…maker's breath." He brought his knees up, leaning an arm on them. I let out a small laugh, and he glanced at me. "What?"

"I know you don't think I'm a whore," I told him, sitting up. "And my experience is very limited."

Cullen's hand left his nose and his mouth twitched into a half smile. "It wouldn't have mattered if you did have…. a lot of experience."

I laughed, grinning at him. "For some reason, I feel that isn't true." I sighed, pulling my knees up to my chest. "No worries though, I wasn't what anyone wanted where I am from. Not the type of girl men fantasized about. Besides," I said, bumping his shoulder with mine, "the Commander must have had all the girls falling over him."

He shook his head, his gold eyes glancing at me. "I never paid much attention to them. I was too serious, I suppose. None of them ever made me interested in pursuing anything…until you."

My eyes flickered on his face, feeling my heart beat fast at his words. "Now that is a lie," I said softly.

Cullen shook his head, a hand going to my cheek. "No, it's not. You are a mystery and different. You fight for what you feel is right. You are loyal to those you hardly know, and fight for a cause you only just became a part of. You say things that make no sense to me, but then say other things that make me feel that I know exactly what you are saying. I…I never expected to feel this way, like I do for you."

If Iron Bull was here for that speech, he would have sided with Team Cullen. I turned my body toward him, feeling my heart beating even faster, my chest glowing from his words. "Cullen," I began, grabbing his other hand, twining my fingers with his. "When I lost my family, I thought I wouldn't be able to make it here. That I was alone. I've realized though, that I have a home here. That's mostly because of you," I explained, his eyes trying to understand my words. "I don't mean to scare you off, but you're my family now. And even if there was a way back home, I'm not sure I would have taken it, because of what we have."

Cullen pulled me onto his lap, kissing me slowly, but hard, his tongue entering my mouth. I sighed and shivered as he held me close, a hand in my hair, the other around my waist. I placed a hand on his shoulder, the other in his hair. He flipped us, so he was above me and I melted at his touch as we spoke to each other through our bodies.

Adklfjadflajflk

I blinked, a couple times, confused at where I was at. It was different, the smell and lighting. I sat up, glancing around, realizing I was at my parents' house in the spare bedroom. Sadie was standing there, getting dressed in a lacey black dress, the sleeves short and breezy. I rubbed my eyes, figuring out what was going on. How did I end up here?

"Sadie?" I asked, jumping off the bed and walking slowly toward her. Sadie turned and glanced over toward me, her eyes searching for something. She shook her head, wiping her cheek and I saw the redness to her eyes. She was crying. "Sadie, what's wrong?" I asked her, going toward her.

She put a hand to her head, her long blonde hair in curls down her back. They always reminded me of Princess Auroras. I gently placed my hand on her shoulder and she glanced behind her, her eyes going around the room, landing on her shoulder. "You're really gone, aren't you?" She whispered.

I stared at her in confusion. "No, Sadie, I'm right here," I told her. "Can't you see me?" I gestured down to myself, thinking she would be excited to see me. I placed my arms around her and she let out a sob. "I'm right here."

Sadie put her arms around herself, and looked around the room. "Why did this happen to you? I thought you might still be out there, but I feel you."

"I am still out there, Sadie," I told her, frustrated she wasn't listening. "Look at me!"

She went to the dresser, putting on her jewelry. I noticed the necklace she was wearing, the one I wore often from the Renaissance Fair, having a moon and star. She put on a bracelet and took a deep breath, wiping her tears from her cheeks again. There was a knock at the door. "Babe?" Sam came in and she saw the tears coming from my sister. "I know," she told Sadie, holding her in her arms. "Your parents are almost ready."

Sadie nodded. "I hear her today," she told Sam. "Sam, she's really gone. Not just missing…gone."

Sam's eyes filled with tears of her own and she stroked Sadie's hair. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "Are you going to be able to do the speech?"

Sadie pulled away nodding. "No, but I will. For Kassy." She grabbed a tissue from the box on the dresser and wiped her eyes and nose. "I need to fix my makeup, I'll be there in a moment."

Sam gave her a quiet okay, leaving the room. Sadie glanced around again. "Stay with me Koos-Koos? For the funeral, at least? I need you," she whispered to the room.

I realized then that she couldn't see me, or maybe even hear me. I felt tears of my own, realizing this. What the hell was going on? Was I a ghost? Was Thedas really heaven or something? It didn't matter, my sister needed me right now, and I would do anything for her. "Of course, Dean," I told her, using my nickname for her growing up.

She gave a wobbly smile, going out the door. I followed, looking around the house. There were flower arrangements everywhere, along with cards. Sam was waiting in the living room for Sadie, her own dress, long and blowing from the open windows. I saw more pictures of the family out. Particularly ones of us kids.

Mom was standing with a picture in her hand. A picture of me and Sadie when we were little in the Smokey Mountains. She was still gorgeous, even with red eyes from crying. She had on earrings I got her a couple years ago, black ones with silver dragonflies. I went to her, hugging her from behind. She gasped when I touched her and a fresh wave of tears rolled down her face.

Dad came from the kitchen, walking toward my mom. I felt my chest heave and I felt the sob escape me. "Dad," I whispered, running up to him and putting my arms around him. He seemed to stop, glancing around him and I saw the tears forming in his eyes, refusing to fall. "Daddy?" I said again, whishing he could hear me.

"Time to go," he told my mom gently, grabbing her hand. She nodded, looking down at the picture. "It's like I feel her today," she told Dad, following him, my sister and Sam getting the cue. They got in the car and suddenly I was in a graveyard. This was familiar. It was the same one that my grandparents planned on getting buried in. I glanced around, wondering how I got here so fast.

I walked toward the casket, seeing my other siblings. I let out another sob, seeing my siblings, wanting more than anything to touch them and have them know it was me. Friends were standing behind my family, none of them with smiles. I saw Leaha and Fake Cullen, and I wondered if they thought I was alive.

Sadie was walking toward the casket and I hurried, remembering I told her she wouldn't be alone up there. She took a deep breath and I put a hand in hers, hoping she felt it. "I'm here, Dean."

"Koos-koos," she whispered, licking her lips and looking at the crowd with a small smile. "Kassy used to joke about what she would leave behind when she died. She used to say, you can have all my books, the ones Mom doesn't want, but you need to write a damn good eulogy. So, this is my best that I could do. She thought she would leave behind worldly treasures: books, money, her car. She left behind something more though: memories." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "I hate that she left me so many memories. So many things that when I look around I see her. I hate it because the tears come easier and more frequently. I hate it, because it happened too soon. I hate it, because I keep saying I'll be strong tomorrow, and I keep breaking that promise."

Sadie opened her blue eyes, and I felt the tears on my cheeks. "Let's be honest though, Kassy was a very free and kind spirit. She made sure that she was remembered without even trying. Most people think of the last words their loved ones said to them. I can't remember mine. I know the last text, but what was the last words she said to me, or mine to hers. We take lives for granted, when, they can disappear in a moment." Sadie glanced over at our family. "Kassy was always about loyalty and commitment. She was always there. Even now, she is here. I think the hardest part of this was not actually finding her body and accepting that we won't ever find it. That the explosion that happened there, took the only thing we could have to grieve over. I'm realizing that she is here." She sniffed and unfolded a piece of paper. "I wrote a poem for her.

"I remember when I heard the news/The day I realized I lost you/ I remember going through your room/ All the memories of you/ I remembered there and then/ We would never speak again./ I remember the way you used to laugh/ It didn't take much to amuse you/ I remember how you told stories/Never one too long for you/ I remembered there and then/ We would never speak again/ I remember the way you'd protect/ Nothing seemed to scare you/ I remember how you loved/ A heart so big how did it fit in you?/ I remembered yet again/We would never speak again/I thought this must be true/ For I almost forgot the tone of you/But I heard today, for the first time in a long time/I asked you if it was you, and you said/ Remember this for here and forever again/"Never say we won't speak again"."

I felt the tears on my cheeks and I squeezed her hand, "Thanks, Dean." I put my other arm around her holding her. "I love you."

They'll never know you are alive. You are dead to them. Resting in peace. They'll never search for you or attempt to find you. You are dead. Alone. Not even a ghost to haunt them. This isn't real. This is just what you hoped to see. You can't ever go back home. You are stuck here. Forever. Alone. Nightmare taunted as the graveyard disappeared and the world went dark. I glanced around for him, wondering how to get back. A shadow started to show and Nightmare loomed over me, his eyes blinking bright in the darkness. Your dreams are mine to control. Remember? He put a leg out and stabbed it in my arm, where my protection spell was.I cried in pain, glancing up at him, my breath quickening in terror. You can't keep me back for long. I will come out and at the time of most inconvenience for you. Remember that. Remember that this is your own fault. He moved aside and Cullen laid there with his lion helmet by his side covered in blood. You will lose everything you love. No! Cullen! No!

Something wrapped around me and I thrashed against it, hearing Nightmare cackle as I fought against him. I felt my breath leave me before I closed my eyes taking a deep breath and opened them, blinking hard. What? I saw the light from the moon shining in still and the arms still around me. I panicked, flailing my arms and moving to get away.

"Kassy, shh. It's okay," Cullen chanted and I looked around like a trapped animal, trying to find him. I glanced down and saw his arms around me, my mind finally kicking in that I was really awake. I felt my panic lessen, but my heart and breathing were fast, tears on my face. "You're okay," he whispered into my hair.

It was a dream? All a dream? It was too real? I remembered Cullen laying there, his whiskey eyes wide and lifeless, looking up, blood coming off him. I remember seeing the blood-stained helmet by him, sitting in the pool of blood. I remember the funeral with Sadie and my family. Her words. Did I make them up or Nightmare? Or was it real? Nightmare.

I spun around, searching for his face. I held it in my hands, studying it, making sure he was truly okay. "Kassy?" He asked, his own hands going to my face. I saw his eyes look at me in confusion. I let out a sob of relief, once realizing he was okay, before breaking down, not able to push past this.

"You were-. He said-." I tried to tell him, not knowing how to explain what I dreamed to him. "He's going to kill you somehow," I managed to tell him.

Cullen shook his head, trying to follow. "Who is?" He asked.

"Nightmare," I told him. "He showed me my funeral and you dead next to him after to let me know that he is somehow going to kill you."

Cullen pulled me to him, my face in between his shoulder and neck. I gripped on to him, glad to feel the heat of him against me. The feeling of his breath against my chest. "I'm here. He's not going to get me," he assured me softly.

I felt the sobs disappear and I gave a soft hiccup, glancing up at him. "I'm sorry," I said, embarrassed, wiping off my face. I felt the fur by my face and realized I was still in his robe. I wrapped it around myself, feeling like a little kid with a scary dream. Should you have him check under the bed for monsters?

He shook his head, wiping tears from my face. "You've dealt with some nightmares of my own, I can do the same for you." He smiled gently at me and I smiled back, lifting a hand to touch his scar on his mouth. "Sing for me?" Cullen breathed.

"Which song?" I asked him softly, as he tucked some hair behind my ear. I trailed patterns down his chest. He knew singing helped me when I was emotional.

"La vie en rose," he requested, laying down, pulling me with him. He held me against his chest, his fingers playing with my hair. I snuggled into him, feeling his strength and warmth.

"Hold me close, and hold me fast. This magic spell you cast. This is la vie en rose. When you kiss me, heaven sighs. And though I close my eyes, I see la vie en rose." I sang softly, placing my hand on his heart, feeling it beat. "When you press me to your heart, I'm in a world apart. A world where roses bloom! And when you speak, angels sing from above. Every day words seem to turn into love songs. Give your heart and soul to me. And life will always be."

"La vie en rose," Cullen sang and I smiled up at him.

"You have an amazing voice," I complimented, loving the ringing tone to it. Even when he sang The Dawn will Come, I got goosebumps when you heard him join.

"Not like yours," he retorted and I rolled my eyes. He couldn't even take a compliment, but my fears from Nightmare have faded a bit. We laid there in silence, holding each other until the dawn came.

Adfkadjfa;dsjkf

"Inquisitor, there is no need for him to go!" Cullen argued, pointing toward Hawke. Hawke was leaning against the war table, arms crossed against his chest. He raised his eyebrows, crossing his ankles as he watched the Commander and Inquisitor fight.

"He has been of great help in the past, and I plan on using all the help I can get," Branwen told Cullen.

"He'll probably bring Anders," Cullen argued. "He doesn't go anywhere without him, it seems."

"He's not wrong," Hawke agreed. "I do bring him everywhere. Like a puppy."

"See," Cullen told her. "Can't you see how the court might not receive us very well with a mage who is well known for blowing up the Kirkwall chantry?"

Branwen considered this for a moment. Her eyes going between Cullen and Hawke. "Hawke," she addressed him.

"Yes, Inquisitor?" He said playfully.

"Promise that Anders won't blow anything up while we are there?" She asked in equal amount of teasing.

"I promise he'll restrict himself," Hawke assured her. "Plus, he's house trained!"

"Excellent!" She exclaimed, turning to Cullen. "See, now we don't have to worry about explosions or public urination! Everything is alright, Commander."

"If I may," Zevran interrupted, his face even more handsome in daylight. His tattoos were more prominent and I couldn't help staring at him.

"No, you may not," Cullen grunted. He turned to Leliana. "Please, Leliana. I thought these meetings were confidential."

"Commander, shush," Leliana told Cullen. "Just stand there and look pretty."

I giggled and Cullen rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. Zevran gave a flashy smile. "As I was saying. I think that you might be approaching this all wrong. Do all of us have to be announced that we are there?"

Branwen tilted her head, considering this. "Go on," she told him.

"I can have Zevran sneak some other companions in through a secret way, ready to help fight when needed," Leliana explained. "That way, the court doesn't know the difference. Hawke, Anders, and Zevran can all go another way."

Branwen glanced over at me. "Your thoughts, Captain?"

I glanced over at Zevran. "If he thinks he can find another way in, I say let them." I shrugged my shoulders. "If he's good enough for King Alistair, he's good enough for us."

"How did you know about Alistair?" Leliana asked, her eyes squinting at me. Zevran observed me as well, the smile still on his face.

"Stand there and look pretty," I told her, not thinking of a good story, earning a smirk from Cullen. Leliana eyed me, Zevran nodding his head approvingly.

"Alright then," Branwen agreed, focusing on Zevran. "You make a plan and let me know by tonight. We leave tomorrow."

"Yes Inquisitor," Zevran said, bowing to her. He turned his attention to me. "Captain, would a minute of your time to explain what you know of the castle be too much to ask?"

"Yes," Cullen muttered and I raised my eyebrows at him, rolling my eyes.

"Not a problem, Legolas," I said with a friendly grin. Zevran noticed the name, but did not comment on it, considering it probably. He was always one to have fun with the unusual.

"Did you have my report, Captain?" Branwen asked me, as she gave the layout of the castle another glance.

"Of course, Inquisitor," I informed her, grabbing it from the table in front of me and handing it to her. "Everything I know is in there. Only need to know eyes, remember," I warned her.

"So, I shouldn't declare it a proclamation for the Inquisition?" She questioned, a teasing smile on her face. "Damn. Why even give it to me then, Captain?" She grinned at me, walking toward the exit. "We'll go over the plan again when we rest at camp tomorrow evening."

"Copy that, Inquisitor," I said absent mindedly, glancing at the map, trying to remember if I knew any secret entrances at all from the game. I knew the library was empty, but how can they get in there. Also, can it be guaranteed that there wouldn't be anyone in there. Damn. This was getting complicated in real life. I hoped that the blackmail was where it is supposed to be.

"Captain," Josephine called, and I glanced up toward her as she came toward me. "Are you able to get those sketches to me before we leave. Having a in depth drawings of what the items and locations look like will help our mission tremendously."

"I'll work on those as soon as I am done with Z," I promised her. "I should have them finished by dinner. Most of them at least."

Josephine nodded her approval. "If you have time, a couple more outfit designs would be great conversation topic at the ball. Many are looking for unique designs like your own. You would cause quite a stir, in a good way." Her golden shirt hit the light just right and I thought about what she said. A fashion designer, here in Thedas? Not exactly the job we had in mind Captain King, but it definitely was one of your top ten in Michigan.

"Absolutely," I assured her. "Anything to help the Inquisition." I leaned my hip against the table, crossing my arms. "Is there anything else?"

"No. That is all I have written down," Josephine said with a grin, glancing down at her paper. "When you are finished with the drawings, bring them to the Inquisitor or Cullen. They have specific plans in mind for retrieving the information."

"As you say," I replied, turning back to the map. "Oh, Josephine!" I exclaimed, causing her to look back at me from the door way. Almost everyone was gone besides, Zevran, who was waiting by the map, and Leliana and Cullen, who were discussing a strategy at the other end of the table. "Do you think I could get new armor? My other armor was sort of destroyed in the Fade, with you know….everything happening."

Josephine wrote something on her paper, glancing back up at me. "Of course, Captain. I'll make sure you have it by tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, Josephine, you rock," I said, smiling at her as she blushed and walked out of the room.

"You are very good at your compliments, no?" Zevran observed, giving a flirty smile at the table.

"You are very flirty, no?" I replied, earning a beaming smile from Zevran.

"I am only honest. If it happens to be flirting, then it just shows how beautiful you really are," he returned and I smiled rolling my eyes.

"Alright, Legolas. Let's get down to business," I told him. His eyes came on me and a wicked smile came on his face

"This, Legolas. Is he an attractive elf? Tall, strong, excessively good-looking? Am I right?" Zevran didn't have on the skull mask today and I didn't realize how attractive he was in real life. No wonder Sarah was down with this elf.

I smirked, crossing my arms. "You are right. Except, he doesn't have tattoos." I looked him up and down, "Or muscles, really." I rolled my eyes. "Okay, so you are more attractive, okay Z?"

"Z, now? I am liking all the nicknames. Have you thought of getting a tattoo?" Zevran asked and I knew where this was going. I remember his conversation with Alistair well.

"Not if it includes bathing me in oils," I responded, glancing down at the map, not wanting to flirt with him. It was so easy too though. It's like flirting is his way of talking.

"So, you know of the ritual," he told me crossing his arms. "King Alistair himself almost got one."

"Almost?" I asked, grinning. "So, he found out about the ritual and decided against it too? What was he going to get?"

"I believe he told me it was the name of the love of his life," he informed me.

"Rowan," I breathed, glancing up at him. Zevran's hazel eyes met my blue ones and he gave me a genuine stare of confusion.

"How?" He asked. "How did you know about Rowan?"

"It's an amazing love story," I told him, thinking that was enough of an explanation. "Her declaring that she was going to marry Alistair but died defending him against the dragon. That was ultimate true love right there."

"Yes, but how did you know that?" Zevran asked once again. I sighed, licking my lips.

"You should know now, that I know a lot about this world. I'm not from here. I'm from a different world completely. I have a deal with everyone here, that I give information, and they don't ask how I know. I'm extending this to you as well," I told him.

Zevran eyed me, sizing me up. "You are a mystery, Captain."

"I've been told," I replied with a smile. "Now back to this?" I asked, pointing to the maps.

We discussed possible ways to get into the castle, settling with somehow coming in through the garden to the top. I left Zevran with Leliana, their spy talk almost code to me. I felt like in grade school, not cool enough to be part of the pig Latin club. Except for Sydney Black who told me I looked like a pig, which was close enough to speaking the language of it. I remember that day perfectly. Stupid, look like you have no neck, Sydney Black. I used to think she was like a Barbie doll, who you pulled the head off of and had to push it back on, so the Barbie looked like she had no neck. Yeah, that was Sydney Black. Well, who is a pig now Sydney. This pig is sleeping with the Commander. Note to self, shouldn't refer to self as pig in thoughts.

"What has you thinking so hard?" A voice asked, their stride keeping up with mine. I was skipping down the stairs, not quite knowing where I was going.

"Sydney Black," I replied automatically with a bit of heat. "She used to say I looked like a pig," I informed them, feeling stupid as soon as I said it, not knowing why it still bugged me all these years later.

"I think you are far from that," he replied and I felt panic, realizing I was talking to Stroud. I cleared my throat, tucking hair behind my ear. "In fact, I think you are one of the most-."

"Listen," I told Stroud, interrupting him. "It's not that you aren't a nice dude. I know you are. It's just that, I'm with Cullen."

"You've said that," Stroud told me. "What you fail to tell me, is if you two are in love."

I walked toward the training yard, hoping I might be able to escape him by doing an hour of training before doing my drawings. "You see," I began, walking and pretending to think while I did so. Stroud kept perfect pace and I cursed his Warden training. "We haven't exactly, had that talk yet."

"You haven't?" Stroud asked, mustache twitching with his smile. "Then that means I am free to try."

"I don't quite get that concept," I told him. "It doesn't mean I'm not with Cullen any less."

"It doesn't mean you are. Not when there is someone standing right here, telling you they love you," he stated loudly, his voice getting passionate with his words. I saw many heads turn at his declaration, Cassandra included. She raised her eyebrows intrigued, and I stared at him in shock.

"You love me?" I asked him, my hand still on the swords. "You hardly know me. You love the idea of me, not me."

"No," he argued. "I know you. I've talked with you. Watched you. Fought with you. I love you, more than I have ever loved another in my life."

"I…I…," I didn't know how to handle this situation. Any help now would be great.

"If he felt the same, wouldn't the Commander have said it by now?" Stroud asked and I felt defensive.

"My relationship with Cullen is my business," I told him. "Stroud. I'm with Cullen. I choose Cullen."

"Stroud," Cullen's voice called behind me. I turned, seeing him walking toward us, his sword in hand, looking every part the Commander. "Care to practice with me?"

Stroud raised an eyebrow, smirking a little. "Just practice, Commander?"

Cullen was in Commander mode, his posture and tone full of intimidation and authority. "Did you want to wager something on it? I'm here to train, not gamble."

"Let's pretend that we were going to wager it. The winner gets the ale," Stroud told him. Cullen understood exactly what the ale meant in this scenario. His glance flickered to me and back to Stroud. I could see him debating what to do. He wouldn't back away from a challenge, it wasn't Cullen to do so.

Don't sink so low Cullen. Don't do it! Kassy, come on! Two men having a fight over you! Let him do it! I had a war in my head, cheer leader versus common sense. The cheer leader was winning. Take that, Sydney no neck! Two attractive men fighting over me!

"Alright then," Cullen's low voice said, breaking me from my thoughts. "Ale it is then."

Maker's breath! Where was Dorian when I needed him?