I do not own any characters. They all belong to a little known elven god, Bioware. He is almost as famous as Andraste herself. Some might call him "The Maker". Shout out to my beta reader Eruya. Loving the song suggestions, reviews, follows, and favorites! You guys rock! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Rated M for language and lemons.

Chapter 19

As the sun started to creep slowly above the mountains, I felt Cullen begin to stir. All night I was thinking on what Nightmare told me, knowing that his words were somewhat true. I was being selfish to this man. To be fair, I did decide to learn blood magic before realizing I couldn't leave. Back when this all felt like a game. Back before this was real life and not just what I thought was a coma dream. I didn't realize it would affect Cullen this much. I wouldn't have…I should have…I made a terrible mistake. A selfish, terrible choice. I just thought I could learn more about blood magic. Use it to help and prove that it could be used for good. Was it worth it? Solas and Dorian say if used correctly it is like any other magic. Others say it's only used for evil. Thedas is really mixed up with their blood feelings. However, there was only one person that I needed to care about. Cullen. This wasn't a game. This was my real life.

I watched Cullen's eyes flicker open, slowly blinking in the light coming from the hole in his ceiling. I sat up, glancing at him, feeling uncomfortable that I gave him nightmares. His golden eyes slowly came from his drowsiness, taking me in and reaching out for me. I grabbed his hand, his smile soft, his scar lifting in that heart throbbing way. "Sleep okay?"

Cullen nodded, pulling me to him. I chuckled as I was dragged into his embrace, kissing his chest as I was wrapped in his arms. I glanced up at him, seeing his lazy smile down at me. Morning Cullen was one of my favorite looks on him. His ruffled hair, drowsy eyes, husky voice. Morning Cullen and sexy time Cullen had a lot in common. He kissed me, his stubble rough from a couple days of not shaving. Cullen squeezed me against him, making me melt in his arms. To be held like this…I would give up almost anything. "You don't look like you slept," he informed me, observing me.

I pulled away from his embrace to look at him, hating that we did talks like this so often. "I didn't. I've been thinking about how I caused you to have a horrible dream," I said softly, keeping the tears from my eyes. "Cullen, I should have never put you in the position to have those dreams."

Cullen sat up now, his whiskey eyes studying me. "It wasn't-."

"No," I interrupted. "Don't try to defend me. It was because of me, I realize that." I grabbed his hand, keeping eye contact. "I have been selfish, Cullen. I took on blood magic, for reasons not important now. I should've been thinking of you and what it's done to you. What you went through because of it. I mean I did, but I didn't know if we were a thing at the time or if I was going home. I never meant for it to be like this. I never meant for you to ever think, even in a dream, that I would turn on you." I licked my lips glancing down at our hands and back to his face. "I'm so sorry that I caused you distress. Seriously, Cullen. I'm so sorry I was selfish. You were right what you said before. Sometimes this world…I mean my new life…seems like I am trying to play a game to fit in. Suddenly things feel very real."

Cullen leaned toward me, tucking my hair behind my ear before putting his hand on my cheek. "Everyone has their moments of selfishness. I'll always forgive you though," he assured me. "I know I have made mistakes in the past. How you decide to act on those mistakes that define you."

I felt a tear fall onto my cheek and into his hand. "Stop being perfect," I half laughed. "I've been thinking though. Well I decided on something. My first step. After last night, I decided to give up blood magic."

"I don't think it's as easy as that," Cullen informed me, his eyes wide in surprise. "Don't get me wrong, I am glad you are giving up blood magic, but only if it's what you really want. Not because you feel like you have to for me."

I leaned forward to kiss him, not sure how I could love this man anymore. "You are worth giving up anything for," I whispered against his lips. He growled, pulling me onto his lap. I laughed, putting my arms around his neck. "We really should get ready to-."

Cullen silenced me with a kiss, undoing my corset. I felt the relief that comes with the removal of a corset. His hands were quickly under my shirt, the kiss never breaking. He skimmed over my bra and on my back. "We better make it quick then," he whispered into my ear, sending chills down my spine.

He kissed my neck, biting it softly. I groaned, reaching down to pull off a boot, the other following. We were kissing now and I knew that someone was going to walk in at any moment. Today was a big day and they would want to see the Commander. Cullen seemed to think the same thought because soon we were both out of our boots and pants, our breathing fast. Cullen was in control this time, and I had to admit, I liked the Cullen that took the lead. This was the fastest we have ever gone from no pants to actually doing the deed, and it was thrilling. I'm not going to lie, there is a lot of awkward apologies thrown at each other when we were undressing and we both were laughing as our heads banged together when reaching for Cullen's boot.

Cullen had me on all fours as soon as our pants were off, hands grabbing my hips. I never realized just how urgent it could be to have intimacy with a person. That this was reassurance that we both were on the same page. That we both loved each other. Aw man. This was our first time having sex since we said I love you and we were doing a quickie, doggy style? My thoughts quickly disappeared as I felt myself get closer, our uneven breathing filling the room, along with our occasional grunt or moan. I collapsed onto the bed when I came, smiling into his covers. He laid down next to me, kissing the part of my back that was showing.

I turned toward him, reaching out a hand to run through his silky curls. His eyes went to mine and I grinned at him, earning a toothy grin back. "We should get ready to go now," I told him, rolling to my side. Cullen's hand ran up my side, sitting on my hip.

"I suppose you are right," he answered, giving me a sound kiss. I held him to me tightly for a moment, wrapping my arms around his neck. He sat up with me, his arms soundly around my waist, his face buried in my neck and shoulder. "Maker, I love you," he barely whispered into my skin.

"I love you too," I responded softly, taking in his scent and the way his body felt against mine. Solid and strong. Protection. I loved that most about him. That he made me feel safe in this crazy world. I took a deep breath and let go of him. "I should put my pants on and get packed. And you Commander, should do the same."

He let me go, watching me as I bent over to pull on my pants and grab my boots and corset. I gave him a wink before heading down the ladder, an amused smile on his face. I hurried to my room, excited to see what my armor would look like actually on. I opened my door, giving a sigh of happiness as I saw my armor laying on my bed.

I walked toward it, reaching out a hand to trace it lightly. As much as I knew giving up blood magic was the best for life here, what if I needed to use it in an emergency? What if I had to pull on it to make sure that I could amplify a spell or something like that? That would be okay, right? Okay, Kassy. Enough about blood magic. Look! You have a beautiful masterpiece laying on your bed, ready to be worn. I felt a huge smile on my face as I picked up my chest plate. This was going to be fun putting on.

Getting the leg armor on was easier than I thought it would be. The arms were a bit harder, not having full access with my two hands. A knock on my door halted my process and I went to pull it open finding Hawke staring at the view of the mountains. "Hawke?"

He strutted into my room with a smile, his armor shining in the light. He eyed me up and down chuckling in amusement. "I was giving a final report from Zevran to Curly, and figured I would stop by to see how you were doing." Hawke noticed the armor still on my bed. "Need some help with figuring out how to put your armor on, Captain?"

"You know you can call me Kassy, right?" I asked him, happy for the assistance on putting on the armor. "Do I really need to wear this traveling to there? Is it necessary? It's not like I'm going to be doing any fighting there."

"That you know of," Hawke countered. "A warrior should always be ready. Learned that in Kirkwall."

Hawke grabbed my breast plate, pulling it onto me. I glanced up at him, seeing his concentration on the armor and his own thoughts. I had to talk to someone about it. Hawke would be one to really understand. "Cullen had a nightmare about me being a blood mage in the circle. Took him a few minutes to realize it wasn't evil me in the room."

Hawkes eyes went to my face, before flickering back down to my straps. "You knew choosing blood magic wouldn't be an easy choice. It called to you though and you decided to make it part of your path."

I took a deep breath as I grabbed my other arm piece, throwing it on. "What if I want to get off that path?"

Hawke stopped and crossed his arms, looking at me. "Is this Nightmare or Kassy talking?" His blood mark on his nose was extra red today, making me wonder if he added red paint or real blood to his tattoo to make it stand out.

"I can't make Cullen go through this. I was selfish when I chose to do blood magic. What change can I bring with it? I'm new with magic and don't even fully understand how it works. I just don't think I am the one to prove what good blood magic can bring when I am just hurting the person that means the most to me in the world. What would you do if it were Anders?" I threw on my blue fabric, Hawke helping me put it on, his face thoughtful.

Any sign of teasing was gone from his face and he crossed his arms to stare at me. "It has been an issue for Anders, but then he blew up a chantry and suddenly my blood magic seemed like a small issue in the grand scheme of things. It may seem that you had many paths to go down for magic, but honestly, the magic chooses you. If you felt you should have gone down another path, you would have. Blood magic is a selfish path, but also a rewarding one. It's also a path you can't go back from once you started traveling it. I understand taking a break from it and learning what else you can do before exploring it again, but you can never truly give it up. I have used blood magic to help heal and help protect. Just because the beginning source of blood magic was corrupted, doesn't mean every mage that uses it is immoral."

I nodded as I fastened my belt, glancing at him with thoughtfulness. "Thanks Hawke," I told him, feeling a bit more confused at the whole situation. "How do I look?" I really needed a mirror in here. Hawke stood back, crossing his arms to assess me.

"Amazing," he told me with a smile. "Now let's get going before they send up troops." We headed down the stairs toward the barn, and Hawke nodded toward the stables. "We get steeds this time. Best choose the one you want most before it's too late."

I felt excited at choosing a mount and hoped all the Harts weren't taken. Then again, I haven't done much horseback riding, so this would be fun. Hawke chose a black horse, that basically seemed like a horse version of him. Of course.

"I kept him free for you," I heard Blackwall say and I turned to face him, wondering what he was talking about. I squealed a little bit when I saw him standing next to my Hart. The Hart that beats all Harts. Sven. His name was Sven.

"You are amazing!" I exclaimed, rushing to the stall, grinning. I pet Sven's neck, laughing at the way his nose went to my face. "Thank you so much, Blackwall!" I told him, giving him a huge smile.

"No problem," he replied, a twinkle in his eyes. Hawke whistled to me and nodded his head toward the main area. I gave a confirming nod and grabbed the reigns of Sven. "Good luck," Blackwall told me, watching as I met up with Hawke.

I threw my bag and staff on Sven, glad to not have so much stuff to carry. Hawke led the way through the crowd that was gathering. Everyone was hustling to get ready to go and many were there just to view it. I stood with Hawke in the back of the crowd, waiting for further instruction. "Captain King," a feminine voice stated and I shivered with the knowledge of the owner of the voice. I turned to find Vivienne standing in all her Maleficent-like glory.

I felt total confusion at her standing there and had to remember to speak after a few seconds. "Vivienne? What can I do for you? Watching the farewell?"

Vivienne strutted past me, walking a circle around me, observing me. "I realized we have not had the pleasure in meeting yet, but I have heard through passing conversations many things about you. One is that you are in fact a mage."

I glanced at Hawke who shrugged at me, not knowing much about her at all. I turned back to Vivienne, not thinking that this was the conversation she was thinking of having. "I didn't realize that people were-."

"Talking about you? Of course, they are. They gossip about anything they find strange and different. And you, my dear, are both strange and different." Vivienne glanced at my outfit, her face emotionless and she didn't waver in her speech. "I don't know much about you except for what I hear in the halls and your occasional performances. I must admit, I am impressed with your forwardness. I knew you were a fighter when you spoke at your trial. It's a good trait for those without a stubborn demeanor. My dear, you need to learn to control your magic before you end up hurting those around you with your inexperience. I heard about the rift you created in the Fade. It's the very reason circles were created in the first place."

I raised my eyebrows at her, surprised she was talking to me as if she knew best. I mean, I guess she gave me a compliment with also a bit of sting. Hawke rolled his eyes and grunted, purposely holding his tongue. I put my hands on my hips about to open my mouth before she started speaking again. "I realize you are leaving for a ball and I heard you designed the outfits for the occasion. I was surprised to hear this since your style is….lacking," she gestured to my outfit with a flick of her hand. "When you return, feel free to come to me if you need some relaxation. Until then, enjoy your travels." Then she left without letting me say a word, leaving me confused and having the same opinion I've always had of her. So my first encounter with Vivienne was well….very interesting.

Hawke watched Vivienne leave with a bit of suspicion, his head following her as she made her way toward the stairs of Skyhold. "I don't like that woman," he told me, disapproval all over his face.

"You and me both," I muttered to him. All the crazies go to Skyhold.

Asl;fkjdslafjsakf

"You okay, Rift?" Bull asked, nudging me. I glanced over at him with a smile, my attention turning from the setup of camp.

"Of course," I replied, smiling at him and winking. "Just ready to battle Dorian with some ice magic again."

Dorian rolled his eyes, his arms crossed. "It isn't battling. It's more you putting on a performance while twirling. You know how I hate attention being taken away from me."

I laughed and gave Dorian a pat on the back. "You know why I have to sing while doing magic? Because I can't hold a candle to your perfection."

"Flattery gets you everywhere," Dorian told me in approval, a grin on his face. "Of course, you are correct. I am perfection."

"It is weird you sing the same song every time you use magic," Bull told me. "Come on, let's find our tent. Let's see how perfect you are there," he teased Dorian, starting to head in the direction of the erect tents. "Practice in a few hours, Rift. Have your sword ready," he called loudly over his shoulder.

"Sounds good," I called to him as they disappeared in between the recruits and tents. I grinned to myself, turning to the Hart that was given to me for riding. "You're the only one that understands why 'Let it Go' is the only appropriate thing to do while using ice magic. Don't you Sven?" I said in a loving voice, stroking his neck.

"Excuse me, Captain," a husky voice said behind me and I felt a hand go to my waist. "I know you're busy but I just wanted you to know if you would be interested in a meeting tonight."

I felt shivers go down my spine and I collected my bag from Sven. I loved the playful side of Cullen. "I don't know, Commander. I already have plans for most of the night, working up a sweat with Iron Bull and Dorian." I turned to him, a hand still on Sven. "And a late-night meeting would cause suspicion. I mean, what would Varric think?"

Cullen's eyes were growing dark and he glanced at me confused. "How would Varric find out?"

I gave a small smile and grabbed my lute, throwing it on my back. "Well, everyone else was paired up, so Varric graciously took me in." I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, glancing up at him through my lashes. "It's not like a certain person, officially asked me to stay in his tent…except Varric. Sooooo, I said yes. Should be fun."

Cullen rolled his eyes at me, following the game I was playing. "I assumed you knew," he told me. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Who are you and where did Cullen go?" I asked him. Cullen blushed and put a hand to the back of his neck. Ah! There he was. "I…well…I just thought that I would try to be…Maker's breath. It wasn't working, was it?"

I shook my head and gave him a half smile. "You are too much of a gentleman to be that kind of dude," I told him. "One of the things I love most about you."

"I'm not always a gentleman," he argued and I laughed, smiling at him.

"Cullen. You are even a gentleman to Hawke, who you hate," I told him. "I don't believe you unless you prove to me otherwise."

"Is that so?" He asked, a challenge in his brown eyes. Andraste's knickers, what did I do? "You know your fantasy of the war table? I have a couple fantasies myself." I felt my face blush as his eyes slowly raked over me, before he gave me his smug smile. "I have some reports to go over, but I expect a meeting with you later Captain."

"Challenge completed," I told him and I felt my heart beat faster and my breathing speed up. His hand dropped and he gave me a smile over his shoulder as he walked away, probably feeling smug that he got me to blush a deep red. I ran a hand through my hair turning toward Sven so my red face wasn't showing. "How can he be so sexy all the damn time, Sven? How?"

"I know how he feels. I myself am afflicted by that very curse," an Antivan accent said. Could my face get any redder?

I turned to Zevran. "You bear your suffering so graciously," I told him, grabbing my staff from Sven, looking around awkwardly.

"You noticed, yes?" He gave me his goofy smile that seeped with charm. "I couldn't help but hear a certain encounter last evening. If you needed any advice on your-."

I knew the red probably bled to my ears and I remember the way Zevran would try to give Alistair sex advice. "I don't need any advice, thank you."

"Oh, I understand. I should be giving advice to the Commander?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"No!" I exclaimed, a hand on my hip. "Cullen doesn't need it. Really, Zevran. We are great." I gave Sven a goodbye pat and brushed by Zevran, heading toward Cullen's tent.

"You are upset, no? I did not mean for that. I only came to inform you that the Inquisitor wants to have a meeting tonight in her tent for the final details." His hand grabbed my arm to stop me, his smile turned to one of concern. "It is in my nature to tease."

I returned the smile. "The redness is embarrassment, not anger. Don't worry about it, I'm not offended so easily." Zevran seemed to relax and his hand fell away. "I'm going to put my stuff in my tent, but I'll think about your offer."

"We'll meet again tonight," he told me, grabbing my hand and kissing it, giving me a wink. "And I get your hint."

"My hint?" I questioned as he started to walk away with a strut. "What hint?" He continued walking away, laughing a little, his blonde hair going over his shoulder. Damn attractive elves. "Later, Sven," I muttered, making my way to where the advisors had their tents sent up. Okay, Kassy. Which one do you think is Cullen's? Hmm. I stood there, debating which tent was his in the area, not wanting to pick the wrong one. Did I just look inside to see which one is his? Typically, I'd throw my stuff in Dorian and Bull's tent, knowing that I'd be staying with Cullen that night. Their tent was occupied at the moment, so that wasn't an option.

I could always just put my stuff in Varric's tent. I mean, he did offer to share it with me before bursting out laughing after doing a crude comment about Cullen. Yeah. So maybe his tent offering wasn't so serious as much as a way to poke fun at me. I bit my lower lip, knowing that typically I would just peek in the tents, but I didn't know what Josephine and Leliana had going on. I sighed, knowing that calling at the entrance of the tents was an option. I glanced around, hoping to catch a peek of Jim, thinking he could tell me which one was the Commander's, but he was nowhere to be seen. Come on, Kass. You're Captain King. You can do a simple thing like asking if anyone was in a tent. Why are you being so weird?

I straightened my shoulders, taking a deep breath and heading toward the tent closest to me. "Hello?" I called at the entrance. There was no reply and I hesitantly reached a hand out, moving the flap to the tent aside slightly, peeking in. Solas and Branwen were laying there, clearly doing their Fade date thing. Nice to know. This was Branwen's tent. I let the flap drop and I shook my head, thinking that Solas and his Fade date thing was weird. Then again, he wanted to get the Fade to take over the whole world, so not a huge surprise.

I moved on to the next tent. My shoulder was hurting from the weight of my stuff hanging on it. "Is anyone in here?" I called and I heard movement, watching the flap move as Josephine's curious face peeked out.

"Kassy?" She asked, clearly wondering what I was doing. She came out of her tent and stood in front of me. "Can I help you?"

I smiled at her, shaking my head. "Uh, no. Sorry to disturb you. Just figuring out the tent situation. Just, uh, just don't mind me. Carry on…so….yeah."

Her eyebrows were raised as she watched me go to the next tent, waiting to see what I was going to do. "Hello?" I called, aware of Josephine's eyes on me. I looked back at her and gave a slight head nod. She was bemused and her head was tilted in wonder as my attention turned back to the tent as the flap rustled.

Leliana came out, her arms crossed as she took me in, looking at me with expectation. After a moment of awkward silence, she chuckled. "Is there a matter you wish to discuss with me?"

"Uh, no." I told her, glancing over at Josephine. "Leliana is at this one. Noted." I focused on Leliana. "Sorry to bother you. Continue on with your day."

"You had no use for me, except to see if I was occupying this tent?" Leliana asked, getting Josephine to giggle. They shared a look and seemed to have a wordless conversation. "I wonder why the Captain, would need to know the layout of camp, Josie."

"I myself am wondering the same thing," Josephine teased. I rolled my eyes at them. "Is there someone in particular she is hoping to note?"

"What a thought!" Leliana exclaimed. "I wonder who she could be searching for? Hawke perhaps?"

Josephine shook her head. "Maybe the Iron Bull? Who isn't curious about that?"

Leliana laughed, her eyebrows raised in humor. "Zevran and her have seem rather friendly lately."

"Of course," Josephine replied, her hands on her hips, face lighted with enthusiasm at the teasing. "How did we not realize it sooner?"

"Well, the Commander certainly did," Leliana added, her eyes bright from laughter. "That's it, Josie. The Commander."

"The Commander!" Josephine almost shouted. "Leliana, you solved the riddle!"

I glared at them both, not amused. I rolled my eyes, taking a deep breath, my shoulder yelling at me to just throw the stuff in Josephine's tent. "Alright, Sherlock and Watson," I said, glancing between the two of them. "You solved the case. I am looking for Cullen's tent. He told me to put my stuff in there but conveniently forgot to tell me which one it is. You guys really should just do the same layout every time."

"Where would the fun be in that?" Leliana asked, her voice full of amusement. "Next tent over. With the ball tomorrow night, we thought it would be easier to have the tents close so that we can finalize plans without interruptions or being overheard."

"Next time you could just ask," Josephine told me with a smile. I blushed and grinned back at them.

"I forget that people know about us," I replied. "Thanks, you guys. Sorry to interrupt whatever you were doing."

Leliana shook her head. "You provided a laugh that was sorely needed. Right Josie?"

"Definitely," she replied. "Don't forget to bathe tonight. Tomorrow is a busy day and there won't be time for one."

"Of course," I assured her, heading for Cullen's tent. "See you later." I ducked into his tent, finding no one inside. I threw my stuff by his bed roll, seeing another one lying beside it. I smiled, finding it charming that he now kept two inside his tent. I grabbed my staff, taking in the tent. There was a table set up with a map rolled out, held down by a couple rocks.

I saw some parchments laid out by it, notes scribbled in Cullen's handwriting. I smiled, never really seeing his handwriting. It was what men handwriting typically is, with a bit of flourish. I let my fingertips trace over it, still not believing that man was in love with me. Why? What made him? Out of everyone in Thedas, why me?

I grabbed the pen and dipped it in the ink. Scribbling him a quick note on the bottom of one of his notes, making sure that it was on one that didn't seem like a report.

Hey handsome!

Just reminding you of how amazing and fantastic you are. You are legendary. I love you so much! Don't ever forget it. Yeah, this note is cheesy (in my world that means awesomely lame), and I'm sure you will get more of these cheesy notes in the future. La vie en rose Lion.

Love ya!

Kassy

I put the pen back, tucking my hair behind my ear. I saw a sword leaning against the table and I grabbed it, wondering how Cullen hadn't given it to me sooner. Was this his way? I held it in my hand, feeling the familiar way it fit in it. The first sword that I claimed as my own. I noticed the hilt had an engraving and I examined it closely. King. That's what it said. He had my last name engraved in it. I felt my chest fill with emotions and I let out a soft chuckle. How can he make it possible to love him even more? Dad would have thought this sword amazing.

There had to be a goofy grin on my face. I put the sword in my belt, hurrying out of the tent, determined to find Cullen. When I grabbed my helmet, I remembered the way Cullen reacted to my armor. Hawke and I were grabbing our mounts, walking them to the entrance of Skyhold. Cullen was there with his recruits, getting them ready to leave. He was leading his own horse, shouting orders as he passed. Cassandra was behind him, making sure that the orders were being followed.

"He followed my design perfectly! Kassy, you look fantastic! Not as great as me, but exactly what I envisioned," Dorian called to me as he strutted to me, his own armor shining in the sunlight. I grinned at Dorian, shaking my head in amusement.

"The highest compliment you could have given me," I laughed, feeling extremely confident in this armor. I got to him and pulled him to me, hugging him. "Thanks Dorian. You are the best."

"You know I don't do sappy moments," he said softly, hugging me back. "But you are correct."

"I know," I told him letting him go. "Why did you do it?"

"I don't have many people in my life that make me-. Well, I consider you a friend. Even in the short amount of time we have known each other, there is something about you that makes me feel that we have known each other longer." His grey eyes rested on me with warmth. I was one of the people he cared about.

"You're my best friend too," I told him with a grin, returning the stare. Hawke coughed and cleared his throat.

"I thought that-," Hawke began, leaning toward me.

"Hawke. Bro. You'll have your moment later," I muttered to him. He grunted in understanding, resuming his stance of pretending that he wasn't listening.

"Has our Commander seen the Captain in my genius?" Dorian asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

I laughed, reaching up to stroke my Hart. "Not yet." I glanced around, finding Cullen, his eyes catching mine. I grinned at him, giving him a wink as he stared at me, open mouthed. "I lied, he just did."

Dorian and Hawke followed my gaze and they both snickered. "We'll leave you to it," Hawke told me, leading his horse away, Dorian following. I waved to Cullen, his head shaking before he smiled, his scar making my butterflies erupt.

Cullen's strut was fast and determined as he came to me, his horse keeping pace and his smile never wavering. "You had armor made," he said in a husky voice.

"I was inspired," I told him, stroking the fur on his robe. "Do you-."

Cullen kissed me hard, and I had to remind myself to hold onto Sven. I returned the kiss, sinking into him. That was one of my favorite kisses we have ever shared. I smiled to myself as I came from the memory, my hand on the hilt of the sword.

I headed to where the makeshift training field was, feeling disappointment when I didn't see him there. Where could he be? I surveyed the area, trying to spot his helmet or blonde hair. Nothing. Sighing, I trudged back toward the forest, figuring he was busy talking to someone important.

It's for the best anyhow. He is probably bored of you. After all, you aren't knowledgeable about pleasing a man. You aren't as attractive as most of the women here. After a bit, he'll grow old of the mystery you have and realize you aren't very talented. You can't even use your Fade magic. Might as well face it, even if he doesn't find you boring soon, you won't be able to resist the temptation of blood magic. It will call to you. It will sing to you. It will lure you into performing it. You are good at performing. Blood magic and love don't mix. No mage can resist the allure of it. Nightmare hissed.

"Fuck you," I muttered. "I am Captain King and I am a force to be reckoned with."

Repeat it all you want. Saying it doesn't make it true. Last time you thought that, you sent me to your own mind. You are no force. You're a fool. Nightmare replied with a bit of a laugh.

I ignored him, not wanting him to shake my will. The forest was peaceful and I took a deep breath, leaning against a tree. I let the breath go, feeling my head clear a little. Alright, Captain. Let's take a walk.

I found a sturdy tree, and pulled out my sword, wanting to take out some aggression. Twirling, I swung it, finding satisfaction as the blade dug into the bark. I swung again, grunting as I used all my strength to hit the tree. I continued, clearing my mind as I did this, thinking nothing other than the moves that Cassandra and Bull have taught me.

"I'm sure I've seen stranger things happening in a forest. I'm blanking on an example right now," a voice commented. I froze, recognizing that voice. No fucking way. I pulled the sword from the tree and turned toward the voice. Yup. I was right.

Alistair stood in front of me, looking as he did in Inquisition. No way. No. Way. Was everyone going to make an appearance? Should I be expecting Sten next? "I'm hallucinating," I muttered to myself. I glanced behind him to see a couple of his guards with their bows drawn. "Archers?" I asked as I put my sword in my belt.

Alistair glanced behind his shoulder at his archers. "You can see that she's harmless." The archers kept their stance. "Or do whatever you feel you should do, I guess."

I studied him, seeing the realness of him. My fan girl meter was rising. Keep cool. Keep cool. "Alistair, what are you doing here?" I blurted out without thinking. Correct yourself. "Uh, King….Alistair…."

Alistair glanced at me in his confused way. "I admit that my memory has been leaving me lately, but have we met before?"

"Sort of," I told him, holding out a hand. "Captain King of the Inquisition."

He took it, shaking it. I held in a squeal at the fact that Alistair was holding my hand. "You obviously know who I am. I was heading to the Winter Palace. We saw the Inquisition banners and thought we'd share camp."

"I'm sure the Inquisition will be honored," I told him. "Uh…this way." Alistair grinned and he motioned to his troops who followed us through the forest.

"So, you mentioned you were a Captain. I wasn't aware that templars joined the Inquisition."

I laughed and shook my head. "Yeah, there is no way I'm a templar. I'm a mage. But we do have many templars that joined us. Commander Cullen has been keeping the peace between the templars and mages. There's less fighting between them as the weeks go by."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "A mage that uses a sword instead of a staff? Or is the staff for decoration?"

"You know, I do believe I recall someone telling me that daggers are actually at the height of fashion lately," I replied with a grin. "Honestly though, I just enjoy sword fighting more."

Alistair nodded his head in understanding, his face thoughtful. "Did your circle also fall?"

I took a deep breath and gave him a small smile. "I wasn't a part of the circles."

"So, an apostate. That's nice. Freedom and everything, you know," he commented, keeping pace with me. He was taking in the forest as we grew closer to the training field.

"Not exactly an apostate either. More like a late bloomer," I explained as we approached the training field. "I'll take you Leliana. I'm sure you guys have a lot of catching up to do."

Alistair gave me a surprised look. "How did you know?"

"I know a lot of things," I answered. "I'm surprised you are going to the ball though. I thought you'd be too busy or just not wanting to deal with Orlesians."

"I wasn't going to but then I received a letter and thought why not?" Alistair told me, giving me his cheesy smile.

I laughed in response and took a couple steps in front of him to the entrance to Leliana's tent. "Leliana?"

The tent flap was open and she was standing at a table, going over some papers. "Captain, do you need help finding another tent?" She teased before registering who was standing behind me. "Alistair?"

"I'll have someone send you cheese," I said, leaving the tent.

"I love cheese," Alistair commented as I walked away from the tents, wanting to let them have their reunion time. I bumped into Jim and I grabbed his arm.

"Hey Jim," I began, giving him a smile. "Can you have someone send some cheese to Sister Leliana's tent and get someone to send Zevran there as well."

"Of course, Captain," he replied as he walked away. "Why does she keep calling me Jim?" He muttered to himself. Hmmm….I should probably figure out his real name. Was it not really Jim?

Wait, if Jim was nearby that means Cullen is too! I fast walked to the entrance of our tent, noticing that the flaps were tied back. Cullen was leaning over the table, reading some notes and making marks on the map. I went up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning my face into his back.

"Hello love," Cullen greeted me, sending shivers down my spine. I let go of him, going to stand at the other side of the table.

"Do you have a moment?" I asked him. His whiskey eyes came up to me, their warmth making me swoon a little.

"For you, always," he replied. I grinned at him and watched him straighten.

"First thing," I said walking up to him and pulling him down for a kiss. He responded with eagerness and I felt tingles throughout my body. I broke the kiss and left my arms around his neck. "Thank you for my sword."

There was a faint blush and he glanced away, his eyes looking at the ground before coming back to me. "I thought that you might want to train with a sword fit for a Captain."

"It means everything to me Cullen. Thank you," I told him honestly. "Second, Alistair is here. I brought him to Leliana's tent so they can catch up."

Cullen froze and he just blinked at me. "Alistair? As in King Alistair?"

"Yes," I answered, stepping out of his grip as his hands went to his hair. "You know he never wanted to be king. It just sort of happened because of the Hero of Ferelden. She convinced him."

Cullen crossed his arms, his Commander mode coming easily to him. "How do you know all this?"

"I just do," I told him. "I had some cheese and Zevran sent to the tent. They'll probably catch up and then join us for the meeting later."

"Cheese and Zevran?" Cullen asked baffled by my choices for the King.

"Yes. He likes cheese and surprisingly Zevran," I assured him. "I just thought you should know before he caught you off guard. I'm sure you two have loads to catch up on being ex-templars and all. I'm going to go do some practice with Bull." I brushed past him as he glanced at me with an odd look. "What?"

"You are always surprising me with the knowledge that you have," he assured me. He shook his head and glanced down at his notes, a smile forming on his lips. Gold eyes met my blue ones and his scar twitched. "Instead of sword play, would you care to go for a walk with me?"

Did Commander Cullen just ask me to go for a walk? I do declare! I grinned at him, wondering where the Commander that liked to occupy every moment of his time with reports and training went. "I would love too," I told him. "Let me just go tell Bull that it's canceled."

I took off my sword, leaning it against the table. "What are you doing?" Cullen asked, crossing his arms in amusement.

I glanced over at him, taking off my staff. "Taking off my armor," I told him. I undid my belt, taking off my fabric and throwing it in the corner. "No offense to you, but I don't like living in my armor."

He rolled his eyes in his amused way and bent over his table to get some more work in before we left. Of course, he would. Workaholic. I sang to myself as I pulled off my armor, carefully setting it in the corner of the tent with my other stuff. I felt the relief of not having weight on me and I sighed with happiness. Pulling my bag onto my shoulder, I stood up, heading to the tent opening. "You coming?"

Cullen looked up at me and nodded, muttering about giving him one minute. I rolled my eyes at him, knowing that his one minute isn't just a minute. I glanced over his shoulder to see what he was writing. A report to Leliana. "Why do you two write reports to each other when you could easily walk up to each other and just say it?"

Honey eyes glanced up to rest on me, his face in thought. "It's just easier this way," he informed me, continuing to write.

"One more question," I began, leaning on the edge of the table. "So, the Inquisitor was sent to the Chantry to spy on the events, right? How did no one notice she was Dalish? Or you know…an elf? You don't see many elves in the Chantry do you? Was she strutting around the Chantry with a fake mustache, going 'Hello, fellow Chantry goers?'"

Cullen stared at me open mouthed, obviously at a loss at how to even reply to me. Okay, Kassy. So maybe we shouldn't say every thought out loud. I've just always wondered. I mean, how does an elf with Dalish markings, spy without trying to blend in? "Then again, you couldn't tell if they were an elf because their hats cover their ears, so maybe there are elves and I'm just making the Chantry racist."

Uh oh, you just said that last part out loud. I glanced back at Cullen who was now starting to chuckle, which quickly turned into full-fledged laughing. I watched amused as he leaned on the table, laughing, his arms shaking from his laughter. A couple recruits gave curious looks as they came by and I shrugged my shoulders at them as they passed. "Mustache," he said between laughs. "Chantry goers!"

Iron Bull stopped in the entrance of the tent, his arms across his chest, raising his eyebrows at me. "I asked a question and he found it amusing." I explained. Cullen took a deep breath, starting to come down from the laughter. "I'm going to skip on training today."

"Got big plans, eh Rift?" Bull asked, causing me to blush. He studied Cullen. "You deserve some fun, Commander."

Cullen's laughter quickly stopped and he blushed, his hand going to the back of his neck. "That's not-."

"No need to explain," Bull interrupted back out of the tent with his usual saunter. "Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun, eh Commander?" We heard his bellowing laugh as he walked away from the tent.

I knew my face was red and so was Cullen's. Yet again, a scene from "Kassy and Cullen's awkward adventures". Cullen cleared his throat and I stood straight, holding my hands clasped in front of me. "So, you ready to go for that walk? Or did you need to finish that report?"

Cullen glanced down at his report and then back up at me. "Shall we?" He asked and I grinned in reply, following him out of the tent. He led me to the forest and we walked in companionable silence for most of the way. I grabbed his hand in the forest, taking him by surprise, but then his hand held mine and I was content.

The gurgling of a stream caught my ears and I steered him toward it, loving hidden streams in forests. Cullen didn't object and he led me to a large boulder that sat over the stream. He leaned against a tree, watching me as I took off my bag and set it on the boulder, touching the moss. "This wasn't the place I was intending to take you," he began. "There's a lake that I grew up near. I used to go there to escape the noise of my siblings and think." I focused on him as he spoke, not wanting to interrupt or get in his way. "I haven't been there since before leaving to become a templar."

I hesitated, glancing away from him and then back up. "Cullen," I began. "I just don't understand. Why me? I mean, you were a templar and I'm a mage. You've seen the most horrible things that magic can do. How do you not see that in me? Especially with other world magic? Don't you want someone more Thedas like? Like Cassandra? Or, or even the Inquisitor?"

Cullen's eyes latched onto mine, never breaking contact. "You aren't a typical mage. You're different. Even your choice to do blood magic was different. You didn't choose it for power. As for Cassandra and the Inquisitor, I respect them, but that is all. How I feel for you is, well, it's unexplainable. You are vibrant and bold. You take charge without even realizing it. You are brave and selfless. You are unique and interesting. I mean, you'd rather use a sword than a staff and you leave notes on my reports to let me know you were there." He shrugged his shoulders and put a hand through his hair. "You sing and I am enchanted."

Cullen's eyes were on my chest and I glanced down noticing my dragon necklace. "When I left for templar training, my brother gave me something." He reached into his pocket and showed me the coin his brother gave him. "He said it was for luck. Templars aren't supposed to carry such tokens. Our faith should see us through. This is the only thing I took from Ferelden that the templars didn't give me." He reached for my hand and placed the coin in it. "Humor me," he began, his face serious. "We don't know what you'll face before the end. This can't hurt."

I admired the coin, glancing up into his whiskey eyes. "Are you sure, Cullen? I know how it is to only have one thing left that reminds you of family."

"Please?" he asked in almost a whisper. I closed my hand, feeling the coin's coolness against my skin. "Thank you," Cullen breathed. "I know it's foolish…but I'm glad."

His arms went around my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck, our foreheads touching. "You can't be without luck," I said softly, leaning away from him so I could take off my necklace. I held the orb in my hand, squeezing it, almost not wanting to give it to Cullen. "When I was little, my dad bought this necklace. I used to steal it to look at it and admire it, thinking it was the coolest necklace I have ever seen. When I was about thirteen, he gave it to me, telling me that it would bring me luck. My life wasn't the best at that time, but he did what he could to help me. I have worn this necklace for every important life event since then that I would need luck at. It's worked so far."

I held it out to him. "The dragon claw represents strength. Maybe that is where the luck comes from," I explained, taking his hand and putting it in his palm. "Humor me?" I asked. His fingers curled around the necklace and his eyes were dark as he studied me.

Cullen leaned down to kiss me, his mouth needy against mine. My hands went to his hair and we broke the kiss, holding each other. I reached a hand down to look at the coin in my hand. Maybe I could turn it into a necklace? That way there wasn't a way I could lose it?

"Cullen?" I asked, earning a hmmm from him. "Not that I'm complaining, but why did you want to go for a walk with me, rather than speak to the king of Ferelden?"

He glanced down at me, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. "Your note. I saw your note and I…well…I needed to get away. Just the two of us. Even if it is only for a couple hours." His hand went to my cheek and I leaned into it.

"You know I'm not going anywhere? Don't you?" I questioned. "I promise."

Cullen gave me a soft kiss. "I know," he replied. He smiled softly at me and I felt the butterflies erupt once again, my heart beating faster. This man. This man I would die for. No hesitation. I let my fingertips run over his stubble, returning the smile. "I love you," he told me, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I love you too, Cullen." I grinned and reached for his hand. "Come on," I instructed, leading him toward the river. "I was told I had to bathe and now seems as good as time as any. With the stream and everything."

Cullen chuckled and I looked over my shoulder back at him. "Bathing? Right now?"

"Look Josephine ordered me to get one in before the ball and I am trying to follow orders. Also, I'm just trying to figure out your fantasy from earlier," I told him honestly. "Sex in a river seems like a good one," I told him. He gave me a smug face and I let go of his hand and crossed my arms. "Unless you care to tell me what it is?"

For the first time in a long time, neither of us stammered or blushed in the conversation. We both just held each other's eyes, knowing that this was territory neither of us were highly skilled in. If I was honest with myself, he was more skilled than me.

"Against a tree," he confided, his eyes stalking me like a prey. "For some reason, with you. That is my fantasy. In the forest. Against a tree." He tilted his head and smirked. "Well, one of them anyhow."

"Against a tree?" I asked him, an eyebrow arched. I never have had sex against a tree, but I knew for a fact, he wouldn't be able to hold me up against a tree long enough for anything exciting happening. Or could he? My eyes went to his muscles and I bit my lower lip. "This is your fantasy, Cullen. Lead away."

He strutted toward me, each step deliberately made to send chills of excitement down me. Cullen unbuckled his belt and set his sword down on the boulder next to my bag. He then started to take off his armor, his attention leaving me briefly to watch where his armor fell. He threw his shirt off, his chest chiseled and I heard my breathing speed up. His hands reached for my own shirt and he slowly pulled it up, his fingers feathering my stomach as he took it off me.

"You are so beautiful," he said in a low voice, his lips taking mine. I moaned against his lips. I still had the coin in my hand, not knowing what to do with it. I didn't want to let it fall in the grass because I'd most likely lose it. Cullen traced kisses down my neck, and shoulders. My hands wandered his shoulders, feeling his muscles move under my touch. He slid down to his knees, pulling off my boots. I reached down and put the coin in one for safe keeping as Cullen took off his own boots. He grabbed my necklace from his pocket and glanced at it before putting it on.

He looked up at me and I needed him to hold me. To be near me. To just stare at me like that forever. Cullen's hands slid up my legs and he hooked his fingers into my pants, sliding them down. I have never been so well lit while being naked in front of him. His growl escaped him and he quickly stood up, bringing me to him for a hard kiss. Our tongues didn't hesitate and he slowly led us back against the boulder. He lifted me onto the edge of it, never breaking the kiss. I felt his hands leave me for a minute and then they were back and he broke the kiss, both our breathing heavy.

"I thought you said tree?" I teased and he grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to him. When did he get his pants off?

"My fantasy," he muttered as a curl fell onto his forehead. Cullen started to pick me up, my legs automatically crossing around his waist. I laughed and reached my hands into his hair, pulling him to me. So, he could hold me. Awesome. I felt myself relax with this knowledge and I took advantage of my position to graze his jaw with my teeth, before kissing him. Our kiss deepened, both of us pouring our passion into the kiss. Cullen started to walk a few steps and I felt my breath leave me as he pushed me against the tree.

The bark scraped my back, adding to the fuel. I didn't think it would be so erotic to do it against a tree. No wonder people did it in the movies. I arched my back as Cullen thrusted in, the bark cutting into my shoulders. I held on to him, our eyes locking when I opened mine. I always thought making eye contact was weird during sex, but I think it was because of who I was with. With Cullen, it felt intimate and there were so many unspoken words. The bark was really starting to hurt now and I leaned my back off the tree towards Cullen, kissing him, the majority of it safe from tree burn. He was so close, I knew it. I felt my own building fast as sweat formed. I leaned back into the tree as it hit me harder, my nails going into Cullen's shoulder. Cullen buried his face in my neck as he came, my name always coming as a growl. I followed after him, letting out a shaky breath from it.

There was a moment of us staying in this position before we sank to the ground. I ran my hands through his hair, kissing his neck. "Was it everything you fantasized about?"

Cullen glanced up at me, his face turning into a grin. "Everything," he muttered. He ran his hand up my back and I felt the sting from where the tree dug into me. It was worth it. "It would have been better with your armor," he teased. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you teasing me, Commander? I don't get to see this side of you often," I told him as I ran a hand down his cheek. "I like it. I like seeing you happy."

Cullen's eyes softened and I felt a stronger pull to him. One that you don't get in game. For the first time, I felt like this was truly real. That I could be able to actually live the rest of my life here in Thedas. As long as I had this man by my side. "It's because of you," he whispered.

I felt my chest fill with warmth and I just stared at him with a goofy grin, wanting to take him in forever. I wish Thedas had cameras. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me," I told him, genuinely meaning it. "I would do anything for you. You know that, right?"

Cullen seemed surprise. As if he never truly thought anyone would say those words to him. His nose brushed against mine and he gave a smile I haven't seen before. "I would too," he told me. "However, you did guess my second fantasy."

I giggled and grinned. "No way! I didn't know you were such a nature boy."

He put a hand behind his neck, giving me a smirk. "I never thought about it until someone put it in my mind earlier."

"Lead the way, Commander," I teased, giving him a quick kiss before standing up. I definitely needed this bath.

Alkdfjakldfjalkfja

"I told you bad things would happen when I lead. The only thing that hasn't gone wrong yet is that I'm not stranded somewhere without my pants," Alistair told Leliana and Zevran.

Zevran gave a half smile. "So, it isn't exactly the worst, no?"

"It hasn't been an easy time for me either," Branwen told him. "I'm glad you are in alliance with us though. It makes a lot of issues a lot simpler."

"Agreed," Leliana stated, her hands behind her back. "Are you sure you want to help with the Inquisition's interference in the Winter Palace?"

Alistair glanced at everyone around the table. "Zevran wrote to me saying "we're getting lucky this time" so I assumed that meant for me to come to the ball. Just tell me my roll."

"Another distraction," Cullen informed him. "We are trying to keep the court occupied while the Inquisitor scouts the palace."

"Uh huh," Alistair said. He glanced over at Hawke and Varric. "What are they doing?"

"It pains me that you don't remember my name, after all we've been through," Hawke told Alistair with a dramatic flair. "I thought we had something special."

"You aren't even supposed to be at this meeting," Cullen told Hawke annoyed.

"They are with me," Zevran told Alistair. "We are sneaking into the gardens to get into the castle. Once we are given the signal, we are following the Inquisitor's lead. She knows where the items are that we are looking for."

"Someone else knows how to pick a lock here, right?" Alistair asked. "It was a selling point that he grossly exaggerated." I chuckled at that, understanding exactly what he was talking about.

"I can pick a lock," Varric told Alistair, amusement on his face.

"What exactly do we mean by distraction?" Alistair asked, glancing around the table.

"You could always dance the Remigold," I suggested. His eyes went to me, amusement and curiosity on his face.

"What's your roll?" He asked, his smile just as I expected it to be. He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows.

"Fellow distractor," I told him. "I'm the gift to the Empress. I am singing songs and when that fails monologuing."

Alistair shared a glance with Leliana. "Fellow bard, eh?"

She smirked at him. "Captain is very knowledgeable about the Winter Palace and the people in it. It was her that created this plan."

"Impressive," Alistair stated, his eyes going around the room. "I think I can handle distracting. I can be rather entertaining."

"I'm sure you are," Branwen assured him. "Honestly, that's it. I think we've planned every detail. We'll be fully prepared this time. Go enjoy the rest of your evenings." Everyone stood to leave but Branwen touched my arm. "A moment, Captain?"

"Of course, Inquisitor," I told her. I gave a nod toward the exit to Cullen who took the hint, Josephine behind him. We waited for the others to leave before Branwen addressed me.

"I know that last time, I didn't listen and things ended up badly. I just wanted to know what you had in mind if what happens at the ball goes differently than planned?" She studied me, watching to see if I was nervous for the ball. Of course, I was, but I wasn't going to let her know that. I've been thinking the same thoughts myself.

"We'll have to take it on at the time. The most important thing is to find the blackmail. If ever you feel like you need me to step in, I will," I told her. "The ball is almost a breeze compared to what you've been through. I wouldn't worry about it."

Branwen nodded, her eyes thoughtful. "Solas informed me that you are studying the Fade with him again. I was wondering if I could join you some night?"

She wanted to watch me sit there for a couple hours, making flashing lights in the sky? "If you want to," I told her, honestly having no opinions on the subject. Maybe with her there, I would be able to open it. "Solas told me I should let my mind rest tonight before the ball though, so maybe tomorrow?"

"I look forward to it," she told me, glancing down at her maps. I took this as a dismissal and I went to the entrance, glancing over at her.

"Branwen?" I said softly. Her blue eyes met mine. "Thanks for having faith in me and making me part of your inner circle. You may not feel like it, but you are an amazing leader. So many look up to you. I do."

Branwen blinked at me before blushing a little and reaching a hand to her eye. "Thank you," she told me, her voice breaking slightly. " I have…uh…maps to look at."

"Of course, Inquisitor," I told her with a sincere smile. I respected the fuck out that woman. Most of the camp were in their tents, ready to sleep for the night, the camp mostly quiet. Cullen was wrapping up his work as I entered the tent, his armor already off. I smiled at his back, going to it and wrapping my arms around his waist, feeling the warmth from him. "I love when your armor is off," I mumbled into his back.

Cullen chuckled and I let go, my fingers tickling his back as I walked away to my bedroll. I unrolled it, hoping tonight was the night that I was able to pass out for a whole evening. I sat on the bedroll, shrugging off my boots. I fell back onto my bedroll, arms stretched out above my head, taking in a deep breath and closing my eyes. I felt a few minutes pass and I opened an eye to peek at Cullen. He was still writing and I knew he was worried about tomorrow. "All by myself. Don't want to be all by myself anymore." I gave my best Bridget Jones impression, watching Cullen glance over at me before shaking his head. "One is the lonliest number that you'll ever do. One is the loneliest number, whoa-oh, worse than two." Was he getting the hint to come to bed?

Cullen turned toward me, his face in the light. "Honestly," he said exasperated but his scar lifted in a small smile. He set down the pen and turned off the lantern, making the tent pitch black for the briefest of time. I heard some rustling of fabric and I waited to hear him lay next to me. Did he leave?

"You left, didn't you?" I asked into the darkness. Did he seriously leave? I sighed. "Varric wouldn't have left," I mumbled.

"Maker's breath," Cullen breathed into the blackness. "I'm still here." I heard the faint amusement in his voice and I let out an internal sigh of relief.

"You know, I don't think anyone will be able to read your reports that you wrote in the dark," I told him, crossing my ankles, and tapping my foot. "You're such a-oh hey!"

Cullen's arm was around my waist pulling me to his chest. "You think I write reports in the dark?"

I shrugged my shoulders and put a hand on his chest. "I wouldn't put it against you," I admitted. He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. I rested my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart beating, both of us enjoying the silence.

"I know I keep telling you, but I can't seem to say it enough. I love you," I told him. Hoping that he wasn't annoyed with hearing it so often.

"I'll never get tired of hearing it," he admitted. "I love you too, Love." I felt his arm grip me a little tighter and I wrapped my own around him. Hoping that doing this would help keep our nightmares away. If not mine, at least his.

The King thought you were a fool. He doesn't understand why you are there. You don't have an efficient plan if things go wrong tomorrow. Who knows. Maybe some rogue templars or mages will show up wanting to stop the Empress. Maybe you were wrong about where the items are. Maybe they won't be able to stop the assassination of the Empress. Nightmare told me.

I felt Cullen's chest begin to breathe deeply in sleep. I ignored Nightmare, thinking of him more like when my anxiety spoke to me than an actual being now. When I closed my eyes, I saw the Fade flashing in my head. I saw Cullen covered in blood and red lyrium. I saw my family, flashing one by one. Nightmare was in a mood tonight. He knew tomorrow was important and was going to keep me from sleeping tonight.

I sighed in frustration, carefully leaving Cullen's side and grabbing my bag and lute. I quietly left the tent, making sure to hear Cullen's light snores as I left the tent. I headed to the fire, where the people on watch typically sat. Bull was sitting there, looking tired.

"Rift," Bull greeted. This was a nightly occurrence the past few nights. Bull would greet me, then pass out, knowing I would wake him before going to bed or if anything happened. I pulled out the parchment and ink, knowing that drawing typically helped calm me the most.

I focused on the stroke of the pen and the way the lines formed an image. I always got lost in my drawings, not realizing time. I heard someone break a twig and my head went up like a dog hearing a car door. Alistair was standing there, hesitating at the edge of the fire. "You can sit," I told him, gesturing to the other logs.

"Do you often draw late into the night?" Alistair asked as he watched my hand move with purpose. The way he asked me reminded me how he asked if the hero had ever licked a lamppost in winter.

"Lately," I answered, finishing the drawing and setting it by the heat of the fire to dry. "Nightmares. Why aren't you sleeping?"

"The same," he answered with tired eyes. Poor Alistair. I could only imagine what he dreamed about. He noticed my lute. "Care to sing?"

I glanced over at my lute. "Have any particular type in mind?"

He took a moment to think it over. "Something I can relate to," he told me. "I've been thinking about my past, especially with Zevran and Leliana."

"Are you sure?" I asked him, a song in mind. Alistair nodded his head, his forearms on his knees. He closed his eyes as I tuned my lute. I set it on my lap comfortably and then cleared my throat. "Oh Misty eye of the Mountain below. Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls. And should the sky, be filled with fire and smoke. Keep watching over Durin's sons." The lute joined in and I watched Alistair keep his eyes closed, taking in every word I sang. As the song progressed, I noticed him starting to look at me. "And if the night is burning, I will cover my eyes. For if the dark returns, then my brothers will die. And as the sky is falling down, it crashed into this lonely town. And with that shadow upon the ground, I hear my people screaming out. Now I see fire, inside the mountains. I see fire, burning the trees. I see fire, hollowing souls. I see fire, blood in the breeze."

Alistair's eyes stayed on me, his face dark and haunted. His mouth was slightly opened and I wondered if he was reliving his love's death, or Duncan's. I finished the song, setting the lute beside me. I waited for Alistair to speak first. "I should be clapping, shouldn't I?" Alistair asked.

I shook my head. "No," I told him, smiling lightly. "It would be weird after you asked and all," I joked. He half smiled, his mind obviously somewhere else. We both sat in silence, staring into the fire, our thoughts consuming us. I didn't realize how late it got until someone came to relieve Bull. I gathered my things knowing I should try to get some rest for tomorrow.

Maker's breath, I hope my plan works!