It was march now and we were taking it horribly. Spring when the suns great, airs okay, the grass is green, the flowers are blooming, and we're stuck in this damn cave. Isabella absolutely loathed it, more than I thought her capable. Honestly the factor that she could be getting her bachelors degree in whatever she wanted and wasn't. All the years of working nonstop, nights spent sleepless getting schoolwork done, and the saving every penny to pay for everything. With nothing to show for it, nothing for all that effort trying to do what she needed to get the life she wanted. Nothing but this empty cave, me, and occasionally a Norse God.

A certain Norse God who wouldn't stop nudging me, giving me certain looks, and not so subtly telling me to do something with my feels. I wasn't though, honestly how would I even do it. Isabella wasn't some one night stand, not a flavor of the week. She wasn't even really Pepper either, way too disorganized. Which was nice, and made me even more blushy for her.
I couldn't do it, just couldn't. Wasn't about to worry the sanctuary they had created, the sense of peace. It could all end with one wrong move on the chessboard, and I didn't want to risk my Queens safety.
"She won't mind it," Loki had told me
"Isabella isn't like that, and you know it. just tell her how you feel."
This was the response in just about every cheesy romance I've ever seen. Just tell her, go up to her when she's working on her garden and be like
'Hey I know you're still heartbroken over that douche, and he's a real douche. But I'm in love with you, and have been for the past five months.'
I honestly was terrified at the idea of what her reaction would be. It was pretty mixed results. So she just kept tending to the garden and drawing on the wall, and I kept tinkering with literally whatever I could find. It wasn't much but I kept taking things apart and putting them back together, or making something new, so I was okay. I just couldn't wait until we had a washing machine again, I was almost forgetting what clothes with fabric softener felt like.
We were playing little house in the prairie down here and neither of us liked it. We had a line for hanging clothes but because the air in here was so weird they always came out crispy and rough. Now just to get it out of the way we both did our own laundry and I was happy with it. Also one more thing I learned about Isabella, she's totally a feminist and it made my day.

Isabella was looking better now, kind of. Whatever Loki had brought her it was working, and her reproductive organs would still be fertile until she went through menopause. We were both dangerously skinny, her more so than me. Ribs were visible, skin was paler, honestly our bodies were extremely out of shape because of being in this cave so long. When we got out we were totally going to Australia or something because the lack of sunlight was literally killing us slowly.
I had also spoken to Loki, trying to see if there was anyway he could get the shrapnel out of her chest so that we could take the arc reactor out.
I knew it would cause problems for if she ever wanted to have kids, because of the whole things moving around.
The God had said he could do it with enough magic, and in secret when he spent the nights here was taking little pieces of shrapnel out of her when she was sleeping. Most of them weren't big enough to really see but could do a whole lot of damage. There was a lot in her and so far we had gotten maybe half of it out.

It was a work in progress, especially because it was magic doing basically all of it.
Taking the actual reactor out, that would be an issue though. While Loki could do it, and I had complete confidence in him, he said that it would be better to do it when Isabella was healthier, had more weight, and was under a lot less stress. Also having a few heart surgeons wouldn't be a bad idea. Magic could do it, make it look like the reactor was never even there in the first place.
He had offered to take out mine as well but I'd declined, the only reason why Isabella might have to have hers taken out is because she had an actual reason. I didn't really have any reason to take out mine. I was alright with that.
Her mood was a bit subject to change, she wanted out. She wanted to keep living life outside of this cave. See even if my world had been falling to pieces when I was taken hers wasn't. Yeah she was falling to pieces but she was holding herself together so hard it was practically suffocating her.
Now holding it all together was harder. I let myself loose aside from the obvious feelings. It was hard for her and when she did loosen her grip, it almost always ended with me having to hold her in my arms together myself. All I could do was hold her, and hope that Loki found us a way out as soon as possible.

I was falling apart too, but I felt like Isabella was better at holding me together than I was with her. I mean it makes sense, with her being a bit of an angel and stuff. Then I'm iron man, which makes things a bit difference. I was already making plans for her to get a suit of sorts for when we got out. Its where the angel thing really gets into action. Its sort of like what Sam has but cooler and way better. with longer wings.

I had showed her the designs that I was making, she liked them to say the least. She also mentioned that she wasn't a superhero, and in all respects she wasn't a combat person. I expected it and since the designs for in a worst case scenario, like when Pepper needed to use my suits that one time. Except it was better, because it would be custom made for the Beauty herself. Wasn't sure what color, but for right now I knew one thing, it was going to be an awesome color. Literally this is the funnest thing I've ever come up with.

Imagine it, lightweight, straps easily on the back, with cool also lightweight boots that have boosters on them. Not to mention the wings, literally currently I was going with a rose gold, white, and silver linings. I hadn't come up with anything in months, but this is what was going to be the best thing ever. Better than iron man, better than war machine, better than anything I had ever made the former avengers, better than the whole universe. Even if she didn't really want to where it I was going to make her an iron angel suit. Also that comes with another addition to why the arc reactor should be removed. Honestly Isabella has enough anxiety as it with just me to be embarrassed in front of, and it was going to be a lot worse once we got out, whenever that was. I wasn't any closer to telling her about my feelings since when I first unburied them but I could already see the headlines. Fury would want to get a debriefing, and if theirs anything I didn't want Isabella to go through it was one of those. Having to recount everything that goes down this cave, reliving the experience in a sense, is something I wouldn't put her through.

I now could understand where Rhodey and Pepper were coming from when they tried to get me help. When they said to go to therapy, to take a break, to recover. Yes I may have felt fine and dandy, but now seeing Isabella. I probably should have gone to see a therapist at least once, should have taken the time to get better. Now seeing Isabella squirm in her sleep, and the deep bags, and the crying,and the panic attacks. Finally I was getting why they were trying to force me to get help, because theirs nothing worse than having the person you love go through a pain that you can't heal. It was the reason why after all of this was over, I was going to go to therapy with her and we were going to solve all the problems that we don't even know we have because of being in this cave.

Hell, I was going to take a psychology class just so I could be better for the after affects. But for now we're just in this cave, and by the looks of it Loki is working on getting us out. Also he was shipping Isabella and I so hard, I was getting a bit encouraged to actually do something. Make being in this cave just a little bit easier.

Now I had a plan.