I've got some big surprises in store for Rose this chapter - I hope you like them :)

9. An Open Heart

Santa Fe to Gregg's Route, Indian Territory: 542 miles

Rose opened her eyes. She was lying on a low cot bed, tucked in tightly beneath several layers of blankets. The room was dark, except for a single candle that winked and flickered on the bedside table, and the only other object she could recognise was the dim outline of a crucifix hanging on the opposite wall.

Blinking away the sluggish feeling in her head, Rose tried to sit but her body did not obey. Everything ached. Her breathing felt hampered. A cough surged in her throat, and her hand flew to protect the tender muscles in her stomach and sides. Why did it feel like she'd been trampled by a stampede of buffalo? Her initial confusion quickly turned to alarm as memories of the ill-fated journey from Las Vegas came filtering back to her. Pavel was dead. She was weak and alone - with no idea where she was, who had brought her here, or what they wanted with her.

The deputy's first instinct was to reach for her gun, but when she managed to turn back the covers she was dismayed to that find her suit and gun-belt were gone. She was dressed in someone else's clothing - a simple shift made from a scratchy, white material that pulled uncomfortably across her chest and hips. Renewing her attempts to rise, she was planning to use the wooden crucifix on the wall as an improvised escape weapon, when a soft scraping noise sounded off to her left. Somebody was opening the door.

'Who are you, and where the hell are my clothes?!' Rose demanded hoarsely, more angry than afraid.

A middle-aged woman crossed the room and came to hover by the bedside, smoothing her hand over the invalid's forehead. 'Hush, corazoncita,' she murmured several endearments in Spanish - her voice low in pitch, but light and musical in its phrasing. 'Welcome back. You've been sleeping a long time. My name is Susana Wiley and this is my home. Do you remember how you got here?'

'No, I don't!' Rose was about to snap, but she hesitated when she caught sight of the lady's face in the candlelight.

Dark, kind eyes - slightly hooded at the corners - looked down on her from a backdrop of smooth, golden-brown skin. The lines around her lips suggested she smiled more often than she frowned, and her jet-black hair was parted in the middle and braided into two plaits that wound together at the nape of her neck. Her Mexican ancestry was clear, with, perhaps, a hint of Indian heritage as well.

'I think I saw you yesterday... In the desert?' the deputy replied uncertainly.

'Oh, pobrecita,' Susana shook her head in sympathy. 'That was not yesterday. My husband and I found you wandering twenty miles east of the Painted Desert and brought you to our home here in Santa Fe. That was four days ago.'

'Four days?' anxiety leapt in Rose's stomach and willed herself to sit up, despite her body's complaints. 'I have to leave. Somebody needs me... My husband, Dimitri Belikov...'

She tried to swing her legs over the edge of the bed but Susana touched her lightly on the shoulder, her gaze warm and reassuring.

'I know, dear one. The Russian told me you might come. That's how I knew to look for you.'

'You spoke to him? He was here?' Rose demanded in shock, knocking the woman's shawl askew as she grabbed her arm.

'In this very bed,' the older woman answered calmly, ignoring the flood of half-formed questions and demands that followed. 'Now, if you are well enough to walk, let me help you dress. Today is Sunday, the first of December. We must go to church and light a candle to Saint Christopher - to give thanks for your safe arrival. After that, we will eat. And then we will talk.'

The next hour felt surreal. Rose had been to church nearly every Sunday of her life, but sitting in the San Miguel Mission chapel was nothing like Reverend Mastrano or Reverend Karp's services. There was incense and candles. Religious paintings and icons covered the white-washed, mud-and-straw walls, and the cross on the altar table was not empty but had a small Christ-figure hanging at its centre. The parishioners stood, knelt and sat, recited responses in Latin, and after the service, Mexican women in towering lace veils came to greet Susana and her mysterious guest in their native Spanish tongue.

Lunch at the Wiley household turned out to be a public affair with two other couples from the church attending, and it wasn't until the guests had left that Deputy Belikov finally got the opportunity to broach the topic of Dimitri.

'Dimitri. Where is he?' she asked bluntly, physical tiredness and heartsickness making her irritable.

Susana exchanged glances with her husband - a softly-spoken Irishman who looked old enough to be her father not her mate - and Mark Wiley excused himself to read a book in the adjoining room.

As soon he was gone, Mrs Wiley pulled her chair closer to Rose and her face grew stern. 'A week ago, two... unpleasant men came to my door seeking help for their injured comrade,' she explained. 'The Russian cowboy I treated never told me his name, but I am certain he was your Dimitri.'

'Help? Treated?' Rose frowned, confused. 'Are you a doctor?'

'Of sorts. A curandera. Doctors use medicine to heal the body from the outside in. I heal souls from the inside out.'

The deputy looked sceptical. 'And did you?... Heal him, I mean?'

'I patched up his physical wounds, yes,' Susana confirmed, 'but he did not stay long enough for me to treat the root of the problem. I urged him to stay and rest until he was properly recovered, but he refused in no uncertain terms. He said his companions saved his life and he would not part ways with them until he'd repaid the debt he owed. I admit, I was too afraid to argue with him.'

Rose couldn't believe what she was hearing. Those men kidnapped Dimitri when he was mortally wounded, and he thought he owed them something for saving his life? How could he possibly believe that those thieves and murderers deserved his loyalty?!

'Did he say where they were headed next?' she asked tightly. 'Did he tell you anything at all that might help me find him?'

Susana's dark brows drew together in sympathy. 'I'm sorry, my darling. I tried to get him talking but he was very guarded. I only learned of you because I saw the wedding band on his finger and asked if there was someone waiting for him back at home.'

The younger woman held her breath. With everything that had happened since the attack at the barn, she wasn't even sure if Dimitri would still remember her.

'Yes, he remembered you,' Susana read her thoughts. 'He said his Roza wasn't the type to wait at home, and he expected you would come searching for him.' A look of apology crossed her face. 'He also said if you did follow after him, I should tell you that he doesn't need your help and he will return home as soon as his mission is over.'

Rose punched the table in frustration - albeit a little weakly. How dare Dimitri turn her away? She was his wife and his deputy. He very clearly needed her help and she was going to help him - whether he wanted her to or not!

'Perhaps you'd like to return to your room and rest,' Susana suggested tactfully, waving her husband away when he appeared in the doorway to check that everything was alright. 'Come, pobrecita. Lean on me.'

The last thing Rose wanted to do was rest, but when she felt a strong, comforting arm wrap around her shoulders, she leant heavily into the embrace and allowed herself to be led back to her bedroom. The journey from Las Vegas had taken a greater toll on her body than she'd first imagined, and there was no way she would be able to set out after Dimitri today.

It was dark when she woke again.

'Susana? Mrs Wiley?' the deputy called, sitting up stiffly in bed and rubbing her eyes.

In less than a minute, Susana was at the bedside; pressing a cup of herbal tea into her hands.

'I'm feeling better,' Rose lied, pushing the drink away. 'Can you have my horse and belongings prepared? I wish to leave at once.'

The older woman watched her patient steadily. 'My dear, brave girl. You are not going anywhere until I say you are fit to leave.'

Anger flared in the deputy's eyes. 'I'll leave as soon as I damn-well want to.'

Susana Wiley came across as a gentle soul, but she wasn't the least bit cowed by Rose's outburst. 'Are you hoping to die before you find your husband, Mrs Belikov?'

'Of course not,' Rose glowered, trying and failing to suppress a cough.

'Because that is what will happen if you set out in this weather with your chest so weak. And besides, you cannot go now that it is past sundown. The general store is long closed and you will need to restock your supplies before you travel anywhere... Of course, if you really want to leave I cannot stop you, but please... trust me. Stay. Let me help you get better, and then you can go with my blessing - and with any help that is in my power to provide.'

'But it might take me weeks to fully recover,' the invalid argued. 'You expect me to just lie here in bed and stop trying to find Dimitri?'

Susana tilted her head. 'Lie in bed, yes. But I never said you should stop trying to find the one you seek. The truth is, I can...'

'You can what?!' Rose sat up straighter against the pillows, looking at Susana like she'd gone completely mad.

'I can access the spirit-world to help you find your husband,' the woman repeated calmly.

'I don't believe you,' Rose shook her head. Yeva's visions and Aunt Rhonda's fortune telling were mumbo jumbo enough, but this claim was beyond ridiculous.

Susana shrugged. 'Well, how else do you think you made it safely through the desert in your condition. I used the spirits to find you. I walked ahead of you and showed you the way.'

A memory flashed through Rose's mind - a shifting figure that kept her company while she was lashed to the saddle; too weak to even keep hold of the reins. 'But how is that even possible?' she found her voice at last. 'I don't underst-...'

'By the grace of God above and Mother Earth below,' the Mexican woman smiled softly, appearing much older and much younger at the same time. 'When we remove all negativity from our hearts and attune ourselves to the natural rhythms of the world around us, new paths open. I have been practicing my art for close to twenty years and I have seen many things unknown to others - wisdom, power, wonders. I believe the spirits led me to you for a reason, child. I believe they want me to lead you to the loved one you have lost.'

Rose stared long and hard at the quilt that covered her legs - trying to make sense of this new and disconcerting revelation - but when she looked up again there was a determined expression in her eyes. 'Teach me,' she said quietly. 'I don't even know if what you say is possible, but if you think this... spirit magic can help me find Dimitri, then I'm willing to give it a shot.'

'It is not something I can teach you to do yourself, child,' Susana qualified, 'at least, not in the short time we have - but if you are prepared to invest a few weeks with me to strengthen yourself in body, mind and spirit, then I believe we have a good chance of learning what has become of your husband. Are you willing to try?'

A few weeks? Rose's heart dropped. That was practically a lifetime! But it wasn't like she had any other leads to go on at the moment and she doubted she'd even be able to cover ten miles a day in her current state of health. She didn't have anything to lose. 'When do we start?' the deputy grimaced bravely.

Susana's face brightened. 'There is no better time than the present. Tonight is a new moon. An auspicious time to begin a new spiritual journey. Tomorrow we will perform the limpia ceremony to cleanse your spirit and prepare it for the challenges ahead, but tonight I will teach you to pray. The spirits will welcome you more easily if your heart is open and free of darkness.'

The curandera walked to a table set up beneath the crucifix on the wall and lit a thick candle that was set at its centre, inviting her student to join her. Rose came to stand close-by; watching on as the woman sprinkled a scented mix of herbs, flowers and tobacco over the altar table, then placed four stones that looked like hewn arrow heads around the candle - pointing to the north, south, east and west.

'Creator above, Mother Earth below, Heart within and Guiding Spirits in all directions,' Susana began, her gaze on the candle's flame. 'I thank you for this child you have brought to into my home, and pray that you bring her the wisdom, patience and courage she needs to find what she has lost.' Susana remained quiet for a few moments then turned to the girl behind her. 'Now it's your turn. Remember... above, below, within, around, then give thanks for whatever you can - no matter how small.'

She left the room before the novice could ask any unnecessary questions or refuse to participate in the exercise.

Rose took a deep breath and stepped up to the altar table, then moved quickly back again. Alberta had raised her a Protestant and even though she wasn't a staunch believer in Jesus Christ, she couldn't help feeling like she was doing something sacrilegious. She looked at the candle warily, as if demons were about to leap from the dancing shadows it cast, then finally pulled herself together. Deputy Belikov was not afraid of a candle, or evil spirits for that matter. And if this was some kind of blasphemous act, she'd happily face any punishment God could bring down on her if it meant she had a chance at finding Dimitri.

Walking up to the altar, she stared into the pure, bright flame and concentrated on emptying her mind of all her fears and worries. 'Creator above, Mother Earth below, Heart within and Guiding Spirits in all directions. Thank you for...'

She was going to say Dimitri, but her anxiety about his well-being made her lose focus on the prayer. She tried Pavel next, but the sadness of his passing nearly overwhelmed her. She felt guilty that she hadn't thought of Lisa since arriving in Santa Fe, the memory of saying goodbye to Sydney in Las Vegas only reminded her of Adrian Ivara's self-centred behaviour, and how she wished she'd had more time to spend with her father. Alberta would not have been impressed at being included in a heathen prayer - neither would the Belikova women, she suspected - and thinking back to happier childhood memories just reminded her that her dear friend Mason was no longer alive.

In the end, she settled on a prayer she never dreamed she would utter in her life.

'...Thank you for Christian O'Hara.' Tears of gratefulness sprang to her eyes as she thought back to their journey south; the times he had tried to make her laugh, and the times he was just there to listen. '...And thank you for the pants Alberta sent me,' Rose added as an afterthought. 'I probably wouldn't have made it through that last ride in a dress, so... yeah. Christian and pants.'

She waited a few seconds, wondering what was meant to happen next, then muttered a half-hearted Amen and blew out the candle. With nothing better to do, she returned to bed and silently mulled over her decision to remain in Santa Fe instead of pursuing Dimitri right away - and although nothing had changed in the physical world, a small corner of her soul felt the tiniest bit lighter.

At midday the next day Rose participated in her first spiritual cleansing ritual, and by early evening she was eager to begin their real lessons. 'So can we start our search for Dimitri yet?' she asked after dinner.

Mr Wiley stood from his place at the head of the table; patting his wife on the arm and retreating to his comfortable chair - newspaper in hand - so the ladies could continue their talk in privacy.

'First things first,' Susana began. 'Have you said your prayers today?'

Rose nodded. The first time it had been difficult to find anything to be grateful for, but today she kept finding things that made her feel thankful. Her life. Her horse. The fact she'd made it this far despite the dangers on the road. That the Wileys had agreed to feed, clothe and house her for the duration of her recovery - with no mention of payment or debt.

'Then you should be ready to move on to the next step,' the curandera smiled, indicating for them to shift their chairs across to the fireplace and sit facing one another. 'To find your husband, I am going to teach you a form of meditation that will help you connect with the spirit-world and look inside yourself for answers.'

The deputy's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Susana was a nice enough lady, but surely there was no way this mumbo-jumbo was actually going to work.

'This skill does not come easily for most beginners,' Rose's mentor continued sternly. 'When we meditate, our emotions are amplified by the spirits that guide us and many novices find they can only remain in the spirit-state for a short time. Looking for Dimitri will require great strength and control from you, so we will start with some basic exercises to help you adjust to the new sensations. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, please tell me and we will stop for a rest. Do you understand?'

'I'm sure I'll be fine,' Rose nodded, keeping her reservations to herself.

'Very well,' Susana leaned forward and took her student's hands in her own. 'Close your eyes. Empty your mind. Focus only on that feeling of gratitude you sensed during your prayers. And follow my instructions.'

'How will I know when it's working?' the deputy cracked an eye open, feeling self-conscious.

'You'll know when it happens.'

It took a while for Rose to calm her thoughts, and even longer for her to find the state of gratitude she had experienced earlier, but she knew the exact moment that 'it' happened. Without warning, all tension slipped from her body. Her joints felt loose and comfortable, a prickling feeling crept up from her neck and over her head like tendrils of liquid light - sweet and refreshing - and something behind her eyes and deep within her ears seemed to open like a flower unfurling to greet the sun.

'That's it, darling. Stay here,' Susana spoke softly, feeling the girl's hands relax in her grip. 'Now think of a memory from when you were a little child. A memory that makes you feel safe and happy. Take me there.'

Without any conscious effort on her part, Rose found herself standing outside a large, wooden ranch-house. Susana was nowhere to be seen, but there were several other people waiting close-by - seemingly unaware of Rose's presence - and a carriage was coming up the driveway towards them. A broad-shouldered woman alighted from the driver's seat and Rose couldn't help beaming. It was Alberta. She looked so much younger; slimmer and sporting a head of such magnificent sandy hair that Rose actually laughed aloud. She really did turn Alberta grey!

There wasn't time to dwell on that much-loved face, however, because Sheriff Peterson moved to open the carriage door and leaned inside.

'Rosemarie? Where are you, child. Come here this moment!'

Grown-up Rose bit back a chuckle as a miniature version of herself swung out of the carriage window, landing on all-fours like a cat then dusting her hands off on the white apron she wore over her dress.

'Why did you have to bring me here?' little Rose demanded when she'd rounded the front of the carriage. 'I don't need to go to school. I already know everything I need to know anyways.'

'It's anyway, not anyways,' Alberta corrected her, swiping at the dirtied apron with her handkerchief. 'Now, child, try not to make an embarrassment of yourself on your first day. Mind your P's and Q's, and for goodness sake, don't play any tricks on Madam Kiroy. She's a proper lady and won't take kindly to your particular sense of humour.'

Little Rose pouted but conceded to follow her new foster-mother towards the small welcoming party who awaited them outside the house.

'Doctor Draymore, Mrs Draymore,' Sheriff Peterson announced gruffly. 'This is my girl, Rose. I hope she won't be too much of an inconvenience to-...'

A small figure pushed forward from behind her mother's skirts, and Grown-up Rose felt tears come to her eyes as the blonde girl stepped forward - so neat and pretty in her blue gingham dress and white pinafore she almost looked like a doll.

'How do you do, Rose. My name's Lisa. We're going to be best friends. Do you want some molasses candy?' she fished in her pinafore pocket for a finger-length strap of sugary black candy, which appeared to have already been sucked at one end.

'You betcha!' Little Rose grinned, accepting the friendship offering and crunching off a huge bite. 'Share?' she mumbled, holding it out for the other girl to take a turn.

Little Lisa smiled back at her new playfellow and took a dainty nibble before handing the remainder of the treat back to Rose.

'Thanks!' Little Rose stuffed the rest of it into her already overflowing mouth and took Lisa's small hand in her own. 'I like your ranch, Lis. You got any good climbing trees?'

Back in Susana's kitchen, Rose felt somebody squeezing her fingers.

'That's enough for now, corazoncinta. Come away. Follow my voice. That's it. Here we are.'

The deputy blinked her eyes open and found herself sitting in front of the fireplace; her chest heaving and tears streaming down her face. She hurriedly wiped them away, while Susana waited without word or judgement until her student was ready to talk.

'What was that?' Rose whispered, still trying to settle her racing heart.

'The start of a beautiful friendship, from what I could see,' Mrs Wiley smiled. 'I trust you are still good friends?'

'The best,' Rose answered, wishing she could speak to Lisa right now. 'Um, Susana... I know I'm meant to be on bedrest, but do you think I could go out for an hour or so tomorrow? I'd like to send a few telegrams. There are people back at home who will be wanting to know I'm safe.'

The older woman nodded. 'Of course, darling. It's only a short walk to the telegraph office from here. I'll have Mark accompany you into town after breakfast, and he can help you pick up anything else you might need while you're there.'

Rose hauled herself to her feet, suddenly drained. 'Thank you... for letting me off bedrest and for tonight's lesson. If you don't need me for anything else tonight, do you mind if I head off to bed now? I'm feeling kind of tired.'

'I'm not surprised. It takes a lot of energy to do spirit-work. Here...,' Susana got up from her chair and fetched a tin from the back of the kitchen cupboard. 'This should help you get your strength back.'

Deputy Belikov was expecting a slice of bread or maybe a small piece of the savoury seed cake leftover from Sunday's lunch, but her eyes lit up with surprise and delight when she saw what was in the tin. Molasses candy.

'I've always had a sweet tooth too,' Susana confided, handing her a stick. 'You can eat it in your bedroom - if you promise not to get any sticky marks on the sheets.' She lowered her voice to make sure her husband couldn't hear her from the next room. 'And don't tell Mr Wiley about my secret hiding place, or the whole stash will be gone by morning! I love the man, bless him, but he's already getting round enough in the middle as it is!'

The women shared a pair of mischievous smiles, and when Rose went to bed that night her mind was filled with thoughts of long-forgotten childhood days with Lisa, and her mouth was filled with the sweet, burnt taste of molasses.

'I'd like to send a telegram to Saint's Town, Nevada Territory,' Rose had to speak firmly to be heard over the chatter of waiting customers in the Santa Fe telegraph office - a simple act that reminded her that her breathing was not yet back to normal.

'Name?' the clerk looked disinterested.

'Rosemarie Belikov.'

'Deputy Rosemarie Belikov?' the man asked, looking over his wire rimmed glasses to inspect her.

She nodded.

'I've got some messages waiting for you. One moment,' he rifled through the wooden pigeon-holes behind his desk and brought out four small envelopes.

Forgetting she'd been about to send a telegram herself, Rose snatched her mail from the clerk's hands and hurried to the quietest corner of the office to read them. The first was from her father; sent only a few days after they'd left Las Vegas.

I TRUST YOU AND PAVEL ARE DOING WELL (STOP) MISS SAGE AND I HAVE TAKEN THE MORMON TRAIL NORTH (STOP) CURRENTLY STOPPED OFF IN DIXIE (STOP) HAVE CONVINCED ONE OF THE TOWN'S ELDERS TO SET UP A MEETING FOR ME WITH MORMON PRESIDENT BRIGHAM YOUNG WHEN WE REACH SALT LAKE CITY (STOP) HIS PEOPLE MAY BE ABLE TO ASSIST IN OUR SEARCH FOR DIMITRI (STOP) I EXPECT TO BE IN S.L.C. WITHIN THE WEEK (STOP) PLEASE SEND ME A TELEGRAM WHEN YOU REACH SANTA FE SO I KNOW YOU'VE ARRIVED SAFELY (STOP) ABE (STOP)

Rose re-folded the sheet of paper, a dull ache in her heart. How was she going to explain to him that Pavel didn't make it? Putting off the inevitable, she opened the second telegram; also from Abe and dated a week after the first.

IN SALT LAKE CITY (STOP) THE TELEGRAPH OFFICE HERE HAS NO RECORD OF A MESSAGE LEFT BY YOU OR PAVEL (STOP) IT IS TRUE I'VE NOT BEEN THE MODEL EXAMPLE OF A FATHER BUT I AM WORRIED ABOUT YOU ROSEMARIE (STOP) I WILL REMAIN IN SALT LAKE UNTIL I RECEIVE WORD THAT YOU ARE SAFE (STOP) BRIGHAM YOUNG IS A POMPOUS OLD ASS BUT HAS AGREED TO INSTRUCT HIS BRETHREN ON MY BEHALF (STOP) IF ANY OF THE OUTLAWS INVOLVED IN THE CEDAR CREEK RAID ARE CAPTURED IN A MORMON TOWN THEY WILL BE HELD PENDING TRIAL OR SENTENCING UNTIL I CAN TRAVEL THERE IN PERSON TO QUESTION THEM - OR IN DIMITRI'S CASE ACT AS HIS LAWYER (STOP) I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON ROSE (STOP) ABE (STOP)

The third telegram was from Sydney; also sent from Salt Lake City.

PLEASE WRITE ROSE (STOP) I EXPECT YOU'VE BEEN DELAYED FOLLOWING A LEAD ABOUT DIMITRI BUT I WISH WE KNEW YOU WERE SAFE FOR CERTAIN (STOP) I AM CONCERNED FOR YOU AND FOR MR MAZUR AS WELL (STOP) HE HAS BARELY EATEN OR SLEPT IN THE LAST TWO DAYS (STOP) HE MEANS TO SET OUT FOR SANTA FE AND SEARCH FOR YOU HIMSELF IF WE DON'T GET WORD SOON (STOP) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF (STOP) SYDNEY (STOP)

The final message was from Abe. It was sent yesterday.

MISS SAGE HAS CONVINCED ME TO WAIT ONE MORE DAY IN S.L.C. BEFORE WE ALTER COURSE FOR SANTA FE (STOP) I AM CAMPING OUT IN THE TELEGRAPH OFFICE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU (STOP) PLEASE WRITE TO ME AND TELL ME MY LITTLE GIRL IS OKAY (STOP)

Rose practically ran to the office clerk's desk, stumbling a few times over her reply and waiting anxiously as each word was tapped out and sent along the wire that spanned the hundreds of miles separating her from her father.

SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY (STOP) WE WERE ATTACKED BY INDIANS FIVE DAYS INTO OUR JOURNEY (STOP) PAVEL INSISTED ON PROTECTING ME (STOP) I WAS WITH HIM AT THE END (STOP) HE WANTED YOU TO KNOW HE DID HIS BEST TO LOOK AFTER ME (STOP) I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW SORRY I AM (STOP) I SHOULD HAVE DONE MORE TO HELP (STOP) ROSE (STOP)

Deputy Belikov paced the waiting room for nearly twenty minutes before a reply came through.

SO RELIEVED YOU ARE SAFE (STOP) I AM DEEPLY GRIEVED BY THE LOSS OF MY FRIEND BUT I DO NOT REGRET SENDING HIM WITH YOU (STOP) I AM NOT SURE IF PAVEL TOLD YOU HOW WE MET BUT I BELIEVE HE WOULD BE AT PEACE KNOWING HIS ACTIONS KEPT YOU SAFE (STOP) HOW LONG WILL YOU BE IN SANTA FE (STOP) I CAN BE THERE IN A FORTNIGHT IF YOU NEED ME TO COME FOR YOU (STOP)

The concern in her father's message made Rose's chin tremble a little, but she pulled herself together as quickly as she could and approached the clerk again to send her response.

THANK YOU FOR OFFERING TO HELP BUT I'M OKAY (STOP) I'LL BE IN S.F. AT LEAST A WEEK BEFORE CONTINUING EAST (STOP) STAYING WITH A NICE LOCAL COUPLE - SUSANA AND MARK WILEY (STOP) THEY ARE TAKING GOOD CARE OF ME AND I SHOULD BE FEELING BETTER IN NO TIME (STOP) WRITE ME IF YOU GET THE CHANCE AND TELL ME HOW YOU AND SYDNEY ARE FARING (STOP)

Mark Wiley had been out running a few shopping errands for his wife, but when he popped into the telegraph office to check on Rose it was clear she wanted to wait for her father's incoming reply. Being the gentleman that he was, Mr Wiley found some odd-jobs to busy himself with and promised to return in another hour.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY - YOU SHOULD BE FEELING BETTER IN NO TIME (STOP) IF YOU ARE INJURED OR ILL I WILL BRING SYDNEY SAGE TO NURSE YOU AT ONCE (STOP) JUST TELL ME THE ADDRESS AND WE WILL BE ON OUR WAY (STOP)

Rose couldn't help smiling at her father's anxious mother-henning. She never thought Abe would be such a fusspot.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME OLD MAN (STOP) I'M FINE - JUST A LITTLE RUN DOWN (STOP) I NEED TO GET HOME NOW AND REST BUT I PROMISE TO STAY IN TOUCH (STOP) SEE YOU AGAIN SOON DAD (STOP)

While Rose was sending off a few short telegrams to inform Lisa, Alberta and Eddie that she was safe, a scene was playing out in the Salt Lake City telegraph office four hundred miles away. An elderly Mormon woman queued behind the telegraph clerk's desk began to shriek as a dark-haired gentleman in an ostentatious suit and cravat threw his arms around her - to the shock and disapproval of the surrounding onlookers.

'She called me Dad!' the heathen exclaimed, holding his horrified victim at arm's-length then crushing her to his chest once more. 'It's been fifteen years but think I just got my daughter back!'

Rose was keen to push forward with her spiritual training the next day but fate decided otherwise. On Wednesday, Susana was called away to cure a man inflicted with a sudden illness thought to be the result of a curse, and when she returned home she needed time to rest and recover from the draining effects of the healing ceremony. They were finally able to resume lessons on Friday, and over the next week Deputy Belikov practiced walking through many of her formative memories under the close eye of her mentor.

Rose found the work difficult - she'd never liked sitting still for long periods of time and it was hard to remain calm and detached with so many disorienting emotions assaulting her mind and body - but as the days passed she began to gain more control over her memories. With Susana's help, Rose learned to view each scene from various angles, pause the memory and reset it to start again at any point of her choosing, or focus in on tiny details she would never have remembered outside of her spirit-guided state.

When the novice proved she could sit through several provocative memories featuring her childhood nemesis, Madam Kiroy - without allowing the influx of negative emotions to compromise her sense of control - Susana announced it was time for them to try something more challenging.

'That's it, darling,' Susana instructed softly as they sat facing one another with their hands linked and eyes closed. 'Breath steadily and open your heart... Now, when you're ready, I want you to take me to your very first memory of Dimitri.'

Rose was in a deep spirit-trance, but the mention of Dimitri's name flooded her mind with such love and anguish that she was robbed of all control over her surroundings. For a brief moment she saw her memory-self dangling outside a second-storey shop window; clinging to a knotted sheet that was nowhere near long enough to reach the ground. Then a familiar face craned out over the window-sill and she suddenly felt herself falling. Not being able to tell memory from reality, she would have toppled from the chair she was sitting on and into the kitchen fireplace if Susana hadn't been holding her hands.

'It's alright, darling,' the curandera reassured her, rubbing the deputy's arms and shoulders to coax her back into the present. 'It can be difficult to control the emotions when they are so big and raw. Rest a little and we can try again tomorrow.'

But Rose didn't want to wait. 'Let me do it again now. Just one more try,' she pleaded. 'I'm strong enough. I can do it.'

'If you're sure,' Susana agreed, somewhat reluctantly, and they joined hands once more.

This time, instead of being an observer to the scene, Rose focused on planting her conscious-self into Memory-Rose's body so she could look at Dimitri exactly the way she'd seen him that first day. Closing her ears to the violent hammering of her own heart, she took a long, steadying breath then turned her gaze upwards and looked directly at the man leaning out of the window above her.

The bounty hunter was freshly shaven. Dark hair peeked out from beneath the brim of his cowboy hat – falling across one side of his face as he threw his upper body forward to grab the girl's wrist before she lost grip of the sheet. Strong, tan fingers wrapped around her arm, and Rose's breath lodged in her throat when she saw the infinitesimal flash as something changed in Dimitri's eyes. Winding the time backwards, she watched the scene again - her heartbeat tripping then suspending then fluttering back into life as she slowed the memory down and caught the exact moment she was looking for.

There was a look Dimitri Belikov sometimes gave his wife – when they were alone together, twined in one another's arms, skin against skin. It was a look that said no degree of closeness was close enough. A look of utter surprise and soul-enslaving devotion. A look that told her he would fight angels and demons for the chance to stay here with her in this moment forever. Dimitri had told Rose many times in their short year of marriage that he'd probably loved her since the first time he laid eyes on her, but she'd never really believed him… until now.

'Dimitri?' she whispered, reaching out to him.

'Come now, darling,' Susana's voice sounded far away. 'You're doing very well, but it's time to leave. Come away.'

Rose didn't want to leave.

'I'm sorry, corazoncita, but I must insist.'

Dimitri's face evaporated into thin air and Rose felt her chest explode in a painful, heaving sob. Even when Susana tried to soothe her, she refused to open her eyes and acknowledge that she was sitting in a little kitchen somewhere in New Mexico, not hundreds of miles away with the man she loved and their whole future ahead of them.

'Why did you let me see that?' Rose gasped when she was finally willing to speak. 'I thought this whole thing was meant to be about finding Dimitri, but it's just reminding me that he's not here and I have no way of changing that.'

Her eyes were dark and shining in her distress, and Susana smiled sadly; brushing the back of her fingers over the young deputy's cheek.

'I wish I could make this easier for you, poor darling, but I'm afraid that the hardest is yet to come. You asked me to help you find your husband?... Well, if you want to find him, you will need to go back to the day you lost him. I believe you already know what happened to Dimitri and where he is going next. If you have the courage to walk through your memory of what happened that day, you will find the answers you seek.'

Rose bit her lip to stop it from trembling and fresh tears burnt the back of her eyes. 'Please tell me there's another way,' she whispered. 'I don't know if I can go through that again.'

'I'm sorry, darling,' the curandera shook her head. 'It is a terrible thing to ask of you, but you're stronger than you know. We'll wait a few days so you can prepare yourself for the darkness to come, and then we will ask the spirits to show us the truth.'

It was Thursday the twelfth of December. Exactly five weeks since Dimitri had been shot. Rose was knelt on the floor by the kitchen fire; knee to knee with Susana. Normally the two women were alone during their spirit sessions, but this time Mark Wiley sat on a low stool beside them - his quiet, steady nature acting as a counterbalance to any negative energies that might arise during the ceremony they were about to perform.

When everyone was ready, the gentleman laid a hand on each of the ladies' shoulders to create a bridge between them, and Rose immediately felt Mark's calmness and Susana's strength begin to flow through her. Sensing that they were all connected, the curandera took Dimitri's sheriff's badge from Rose and placed it on a ceremonial drum in the middle of the circle. She sprinkled a fragrant seed-and-tobacco mixture over the top of it and closed her eyes, praying for the spirits to join them. There was a prolonged silence then the air grew heavy and sweet. Susana picked up the drum and began to beat it steadily, and with Dimitri's badge smooth and cool in the palm of her hand, Rose quickly slipped into a trance-state.

The next thing Rose knew, she was standing in an open field; only a few yards from the water-trough where her memory-self was currently hiding. The snow-capped Sierras were behind her, and in front of her was a barn. The barn. Rose gulped for air and willed herself to watch the scene that was playing out before her.

'Get away from her,' Dimitri growled, his gun trained on the union soldier who had just assaulted Carly Sage.

Captain Darnell barely acknowledged the threat. 'Private Cartwright is next. Wait your turn,' he sneered.

Memory-Rose hadn't noticed the second soldier lurking in the shadows of the barn, but Spirit-Rose saw him clearly. She felt her heart lurch out of fear for Dimitri but resisted the impulse to cry out a warning. She had to keep calm or her mind would be ejected from the spirit-state and she'd never learn where her husband had been taken. 'He can't hear you anyway,' she told herself harshly, pausing the memory until she felt able to continue.

'I said, GET. AWAY.'

There was a tense silence as Sheriff Belikov cocked his gun, then Captain Darnell raised his hands and everything exploded. Dimitri turned towards a flash of movement at his left and the next second the young private had a bullet lodged in his chest - his own revolver clattering from his hand unfired. But before the sheriff could turn to his aim back upon the first soldier, Darnell snatched a derringer from his boot and pressed his finger to the trigger.

Spirit-Rose closed her eyes and covered her ears; tucking her chin to her chest to block out what she knew came next. 'God above, help me,' she begged, feeling her distant body's heart drumming so fast she was afraid it might race itself to exhaustion and she would die before she awoke from the trance.

A hand laid on her shoulder, warm and strong.

'Spirits, help me,' she croaked, the tears choking her.

The hand that had been on her shoulder disappeared, and the next moment it was reaching inside her chest. Sinking through skin and muscle and bone with no resistance, it closed over her heart and held it gently until the wild palpitations calmed to a steady rhythm. Rose kept her eyes closed as a new feeling of peace washed through her mind and body, and when she opened them again she was looking into the face of a friend. It was Mason.

The appearance of a man long dead and buried should have frightened her, but the spirit's touch lingered on her heart; flooding her whole being with a divine, shimmering serenity.

'What the hell are you doing here, Mace?' Rose beamed at him through her tears.

He smiled softly and reached out to touch the star-shaped badge the deputy was clutching in her left hand.

'You're the spirit-guide I prayed for?' Rose couldn't help smiling. 'And here I was thinking I'd get a wolf or a bear or something cool like that!'

Mason rolled his eyes then held out his hand to her - raising his eyebrows in invitation.

Rose and Mason had been friends nearly as long as Rose and Lisa had. Towards the end, romantic feelings had gotten in the way of their friendship (specifically his romantic feelings and the fact that she could not return them), but none of that mattered now. As soon as their hands joined together, the love that flowed between them was as easy as breathing.

'I lost Dimitri,' Rose blinked up at her friend, her heart aching a little when she remembered why they were here.

He nodded in understanding.

'Can you help me find him?' she appealed to the spirit. 'He's hurt and he needs me. I need him too.'

Mason squeezed her hand in response, and suddenly they were standing in the barn - the scene around them paused exactly where Rose's memory had left it.

'Mason...?!' Rose's sense of calm fled the moment her eyes fell upon Dimitri.

The sheriff was wholly focused on the body of Private Cartwright to his left - not yet aware that Captain Darnell had retrieved a concealed weapon and fired upon him.

Rose tried to look away, but Mason's spirit wrapped an arm around her shoulders - helping her find the will to keep watching as Darnell's bullet hurtled towards its destination.

'Wait!' Deputy Belkov cried roughly, and the scene jolted to a halt.

Something wasn't right. Rose stepped out from the protection of Mason's embrace and walked towards the bullet that was frozen in flight, midway to its target. She walked around it, frowning as she tried to work out the puzzle. Even taking into account the fact that Darnell was shooting from a crouched position, the bullet seemed too low. But how...? The deputy paced across to the shooter - a thought niggling at the back of her mind - and when she positioned herself behind him to look down the barrel of his gun her suspicions were confirmed. There was no way this shot was ever going to hit Dimitri in the head. Darnell was aiming for the heart.

Rose looked to Mason in confusion, her mind and heart racing. She'd seen Dimitri go down. She'd seen the blood coming from his head. But what if she'd made a mistake? There was only one way to be sure. Summoning all her courage, she walked towards her husband and took up her place by his side - then willed the memory to resume.

With the sound of the gunshot still echoing around them, time moved slowly as Darnell's bullet arced gracefully towards the sheriff's heart. Rose looked from the bullet to Dimitri, anxiety churning in her stomach. He was still turned to face Private Cartwright. Why didn't he move?

The bullet whistled closer.

He still didn't move.

Rose had tried her best to remain calm but there was no way she could just stand there and wait for her husband to be shot. 'Dimitri!' she shouted desperately, and he seemed to turn at the sound of her voice.

The split-second before the bullet made impact, Sheriff Belikov swung his arm around to defend himself, and Rose watched on in horror and wonder as Darnell's bullet smashed into the outer casing of Dimitri's revolver. Changing course, it flicked up wildly and embedded itself in the sheriff's skull an inch or so above his right ear; the sudden impact knocking him to the ground.

There was only a second of silence and then Rose snapped into life – throwing herself to the ground beside Dimitri and kneeling over him protectively. 'It's okay, cowboy,' she whispered, stroking his hair back from his face, though her touch had no effect.

There was blood seeping from the entry wound above his ear, but not as much as she'd expected. The bullet was still lodged where it entered - stemming the flow of blood and essentially preserving his life.

'You're not dead. You're alive, and we're going to be together again soon,' Rose assured him, stern and tender. 'We'll find a way to get that bullet out safely, as soon as we can. Just hang in there until I find you.'

Rose would have stayed in that moment with Dimitri forever if it were possible - wanting nothing else but to look on his face and comfort him - but the sound of horses approaching made her glance up. Darnell was gone and the rebels who were about to steal Dimitri away from her were closing in. An overwhelming tiredness flooded her soul. Rose had no idea how long she'd been caught in the spirit-memory but she had a feeling she wouldn't last much longer without help.

'Mason?' she turned to him for support. 'Stay with me?'

The spirit drew her to his side and she leaned into him for strength as they waited for the rebel leader dismount.

'Come and look at the size of this one!' the outlaw called to his comrades, kicking Dimitri onto his back.

Rose stifled a cry as she heard her husband groan softly, and all four rebels scrambled to point their guns at the body on the ground.

'It's the Russian,' the leader spoke first, met by a barrage of responses from his men.

'It has to be. Look at the badge.'

'The sergeant told us dead or alive.'

Rose's ears pricked up at the word sergeant. She'd forgotten that detail. It wasn't much, but it might help Abe narrow his search.

'Well if he's alive now, he won't be by the time we make it to the front.'

'Who cares. We'll still get paid.'

'Let's go then,' the leader decided. 'It's a long ride south, and the sooner we get to the frontlines the sooner we get paid.'

Rose gripped onto Mason's arm in frustration. She was running out of time. They were about to kidnap Dimitri again and she still had no idea where they were taking him.

'Come on...!' she shouted to anybody who could hear her.

'Tie him on tight, boys,' the rebel leader instructed as his men helped to heave their bounty up onto his horse's back. 'This is a prize we can't afford to lose. Let's get him to Forrest before he starts to rot.'

The horsemen took off to the south with Dimitri in tow, but Rose didn't watch them leave - or stop to listen to her own curses and cries as her memory-self jumped out from her hiding place to take pot-shots at the fleeing kidnappers.

'Forrest!' she gasped, surfacing from the trance and pitching weakly into Mark Wiley's arms - barely registering Susana's worried face in the background. 'They're taking him to Sergeant Forrest!'

It took time for Rose to recover from the emotional effects of the ceremony. She rested quietly for the first two days. On the third day the Wileys took her to the Sunday service at the San Miguel Mission, where the priest made a special prayer beseeching Saint Christopher to grant Rose safe travels when she departed Santa Fe later that week. A telegram from Abe promised he would look into the whereabouts of a possible Sergeant Forrest, and Rose's last day with Susana and Mark was spent restocking her supplies for the upcoming journey and indulging in the easy warmth of her hosts' company.

Rose left Santa Fe on a full moon - an auspicious time to take action, according to Susana. She'd been advised to deviate from the Santa Fe Trail and take Gregg's Route east instead. It was the lesser used path of the two but a faster crossing through Indian Territory, and it passed by the Union outpost of Fort Smith in Arkansas, where Deputy Belikov could make enquiries about Dimitri and Sergeant Forrest before deciding on her next move. The trail east was well marked, which allowed Rose to travel quickly during the day. Most nights she camped alone, but once or twice she was invited to join other travellers she'd met along the way; sharing fire, food and information about the road ahead.

A week into her journey, Rose was planning to make camp for the evening when she saw the lights of a fire up ahead. She was wary at first, thinking it might be Indians, then she heard the sound of English-speaking voices raised in a sacred hymn. Drawn closer by the familiar, joyful strains, Rose halted in cool night air and felt her spirit lighten. In all the trials of the last six weeks she'd forgotten that today was Christmas Eve.

Leaving the faithful to their fellowship, the deputy remained for a while under the silent watch of the stars and prayed the way that Susana had taught her, giving thanks for her safe journey and being one day closer to finding her husband. Afterwards, she crossed quietly to join the group by the fireside - laying out her bedroll at the edge of the fire's warm circle and turning her mind to the memories of her first Christmas with Dimitri as man and wife. Rose was no curandera, but when she closed her eyes and opened her heart a smile sweetened her tired expression.

'I love you, Roza,' Dimitri murmured, gazing down on her with a look that made her stomach squirm with delight.

They were in bed together - naked under the blankets. He lay atop her, his weight supported on one elbow as his other hand trailed over her cheek and through her hair. There was a light sheen of sweat on Dimitri's forehead from his recent exertions, and Rose could feel the evidence of her husband's love warm between her thighs.

'Since when?' Memory-Rose asked lazily, her eyelashes falling closed in contentment as she traced her fingertips slowly over the cowboy's back.

Dimitri's lips pressed possessively against her forehead, her cheekbone and the corner of her jaw before he whispered the truth in her ear. 'Since I first laid eyes on you.'

Memory-Rose chuckled softly in disbelief, but Spirit-Rose reached up to stroke her husband's cheek. She'd never doubt his love again.

.

Author's Note:

Howdy readers! This will be the last chapter I post in 2017 as I'm taking a break over Christmas to work on some other writing projects. Thanks to everyone who has kept up with the story so far and left encouraging comments in the reviews - your support means a lot & helps my writing process so THANK YOU!

Susana/Oksana - This is an all-human story, but magic has come to town anyway! I could have spent literally months researching for Susana's character (a blend of book-Oksana's spirit dream powers + elements from the Mexican tradition of curanderismo + a whole heap of creative licence from me). If you're interested in learning more about the real deal, google Paloma Cervantes - her website is fantastic.

I named Mark's character after the historical figure of James Wiley Magoffin. Super nerds can look him up if they want.

Mason - Aww. Love him. Couldn't live without him so brought him back as a spirit (not a ghost)!

Dimitri - Argh. Bullet still in the head. Being taken to a dude called Sergeant Forrest. Drama! Rose hasn't found him in person yet, but now she can access her memories using Spirit we can get a bit of Romitri fluff to tide us over until the real thing :P