5 hours later

Amanda's POV

I stare at the blood on my clothes, my eyes glazed over. Fin is sitting next to me one arm wrapped around me. Carisi is pacing around the waiting room and Barba is sitting on the other side of Fin. Random officers are scattered around the waiting room, who knows how their relation to Olivia. Tucker and Dodds stand on the other side of the room, both drinking coffee. A doctor with blood stained scrubs walks into the waiting room

"Family of Olivia Benson," She says, we all look up when she spoke and when she mentioned Olivia stood.

"That's us," I said, she looked at us sceptically, but accepted it.

"I'm doctor Malinoski," she said, "I am Ms. Bensons doctor,"

"Lieutenant," Fin says.

"Lieutenant Benson," doctor Malinoski corrected, "Lieutenant Benson is suffering from a bullet wound to the shoulder that we removed during surgery, also she has been though several beatings and," she clears her throat, "and she was raped at least once, we have done a rape kit. Her tox screen showed both heroin and whiskey intake at dangerous levels, once she is out of post op she will be moved to the ICU,"

We stand there speechless, I suddenly felt dizzy and the next thing I know I am in Fins arms and he is leading me to a chair. We won't be able to see her for the next few hours, so we stay at our camp in the waiting room, we moved the chairs into a circle the four of us. Its strange only having four of us, normally its five, yet one is fighting for her life in the other room.

"She will be fine, thats Badass Benson in there, she doesn't give up." Fin says, it makes me smile, Fins optimism.

"When I met her, I was in awe I read her reports and heard all about her." I say tears springing into my eyes, "all I heard about was how amazing she was, but she is even more amazing than I thought. I've fallen for her, hard." I say, I look at Fin "I can't lose her, not when i just got her." Fin pulls me into a tight hug and the others soon follow.

"Olivia brings out the good in everybody, even if we don't know we have good." Barba says.

"Agreed," Carisi says, I leaned forward in my chair and brush my thumb over the lid of my coffee.

"Wow," I said, "I am in love with Olivia Benson," the others laugh at that, and I smile.

Doctor Malinoski walks into the room, "You can see her now," I am the first one up and motioned for her to lead the way, she leads us down a hallway and into the ICU. Olivia lays on a bed, pale, tubes covering her body. She looks so beautiful.

I walk to her bedside and sit down, grabbing her hand in the process. Fin, Carisi and Braba also grab chairs, sitting down next to her, Fin grabbing her other hand. White bandages peek out from her hospital gown.

"I will never get used to this," Fin said, I look at him curious and he elaborates. "I got used to seeing Elliot like this, well not in this particular situation but you understand, Munch, Cap, Nick, hell even you and Carisi, I myself sometimes as well. It's never her, she is always the one standing concerned by our bedsides, never going home. She has been through too much."

I'm crying now, thinking about what Fin said. "Olivia needs someone like that," I say "I'm willing to be that person,"

"Me too," Fin says.

"Count me in," Carisi says.

"Me as well," Barba finished. We continue to talk until we are all asleep.

The Next Morning

I wake up and it's only Fin, Barba and I. Not five minutes later, Carisi walks in with a box of doughnuts and a tray of coffees. "Good morning 'Manda," He says

"Well someone's chipper," I say while grabbing a coffee and a doughnut.

"Well it may be under bad circumstances, but I get to spend the day with my favorite people," He replies

"Oh!" I say

"Dodds gave us all two weeks mandatory leave, they brought in replacement for us at the office."

"Wow, two weeks, let's hope Liv will be up by then."

"I'm sure she will," Doctor Malinoski walks in and tells us she is going to check Livs injuries, but she allows us to stay in the of courtesy we don't look at Olivia's injuries. Once doctor Malinoski leaves I grab Olivia's hand again.

Fin and Barba wake up and grab a doughnut and coffee, we explain that we have two weeks off, even Barba. They nod their heads in approval, and check on Liv, Fin grabbing her hand again.