Alucard Discovers Call of Duty Black OPS 3

A Hellsing FanFic

Sapphirewyren

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing (what a shame)

Author's Notes: I want to say thanks to Lady Taiyo for this idea. It was between COD or Halo, I chose COD because I have a PS4, not an Xbox, (Besides we all know PS4 is better than Xbox 1 hehehehe).

For upcoming chappies in this series, the idea with the pop-rock candy is going to have to wait until I try pop rock candy, I have never eaten it. But don't worry I will try some and see if I can think up a story.

The PSN IDs in this fic are completely made up.

Sorry for taking so long on this, I was working on the latest chapter in my Winds of Change Series, also writer's block on my In Which Enrico Maxwell Suffers…. A Lot series.

Integra had no idea what induced her to buy a PlayStation 4 console. Maybe it was the constant child-like begging from Alucard. Or the constant pestering from Seras. Or the nagging from Walter, who didn't want a bored vampire bothering while he worked. Well, either way, Integra bought the PS4 and now was sitting in the living room of the Hellsing Manor watching Alucard aka The Cr1msonF cker completely bomb in a game of Team Deathmatch.

"FUCK!" shouted Alucard as ElfLover22 shot him for the fourth time.

ElfLover22: Boy, Crimson, you suck go play Tetris

CrimsonF cker: SHUT UP

ElfLover22: What a noob

CrimsonF cker turned a corner and shot ElfLover22, as Alucard was celebrating this, LethalBladeGurl came and shot him in the back.

"YOU BITCH!"

"Master calm down, it's just a game," said Seras.

(oooooh no you didn't, Seras)

"THOSE DOUCHES ARE HACKING!"

"No, you're just sucking" snickered Integra.

Alucard glared at her and then turned back to playing the game. After a couple more minutes of getting killed, the Loser screen came up and the people on his team were pissed.

AsianMage: How the fuck did we still lose even though I'm 35 and 6?

PhasePhantom: It's that dickweed, CrimsonF cker. He sucks.

KnifeBuyer0: Oh my gosh, he's freaking 6 and 29! What the hell? Go kill yourself.

CrimsonF cker: They were camping!

PhasePhantom: No, you were sucking.

Integra laughed out loud, "That's what I said"

AsianMage: Dude, leave the lobby, you've gone so negative that you gotta dig for your K/D

CrimsonF cker: You guys suck.

GREATBLACKSHARK: We suck? I'm master Prestige, got diamond and Dark matter camo for most of my weapons, what you got?

The next game started and the result was the same, Alucard's terrible gameplay bought the team down. By now Alucard was in a screaming match with anyone in the lobby who had a headset. The screaming annoyed Integra, "Alucard, take a break from the bloody game." Of course, Alucard didn't listen to her.

AsianMage: Come on Crimson! Leave the lobby, man. YOU SUCK!

CrimsonF cker: GO SUCK YOUR MOTHER!

Elflover22: No need to get violent, use that energy to stop sucking

CrimsonF cker: Shut up Elf. That's a stupid name!'

Elflover22: You should have called yourself CrimsonLoser because that's what you are.

PhasePhantom: You should listen to your mommy and take a break.

Integra raised her eyebrow at this comment. "If I had children, they wouldn't so terrible at such a childish game." At this Alucard flipped out.

"YOU THINK YOU'RE SO GOOD, THEN WHY DON'T YOU PLAY?!"

"You just died again."

"I QUIT! THIS GAME SUCKS! YOU ALL SUCK!"

With this Alucard dropped the controller in Integra's lap and stomped off. Did I mention that he died again? Walter walked into the room, "What was that all about?"

Integra shrugged, "Just Alucard acting ridiculous over a bloody game."

"I didn't know that he was so competitive," said Seras.

ElfLover22: Hey you still there, Big Red Loser?

PhasePhantom: Naaah, he said he quit.

GREATBLACKSHARK: Yeah, didn't you hear him yelling at his mom?

KnifeBuyer0: Maybe that was his girlfriend.

AsianMage: You joking right? He sounded old, he ain't got a girl.

Walter and Seras looked at each other, then at Integra and then at the controller and then back to the Hellsing Commander.

"No, no, I am NOT playing this ridiculous game."

"Come on, Sir," said Seras. "It could be fun."

"Then you play, Seras"

"Oh no, I already know that I'm not good at these kinds of games."

"Loosen up a bit, Sir," said Walter.

"What the bloody hell does that mean?"

The players on the game heard the conversation between the three.

ElfLover22: Come on Crimson's mom, play with us, unless you're scared.

"Now why would I be afraid of a little boy who believes in elves?" The rest of the gamers laughed.

"Come on, Sir, play the game, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease" said Seras in her most annoying whiniest voice. Integra rolled her eyes and sighed, "Fine if it will stop your incessant whining. I'll play one game."

Integra picked up the controlled as the game started. Ten minutes later, Seras and Walter's mouth hung open and they were sure that the gamers were wearing the same expression.

AsianMage: No way…106 and 6?!

GREATBLACKSHARK: I'm reading that wrong…right?

ElfLover22: That's impossible

KnifeBuyer0: The map was Nuketown, that's the easiest map, everyone pick a different one.

PhasePhantom: hahahaha we got owned by Crimson's mom hahahahaha!

"I said ONE game, I'm not playing anymore. I have things to do."

"It couldn't hurt to play one more game," said Walter.

GREATBLACKSHARK: yeah, listen to your husband, Crimson's mom

Integra's eye twitched. What the heck was wrong with these people? First, they thought she was Alucard's mom, now they thought Walter was her husband. Speaking of Alucard, he skulked back into the living room.

"Guess what? Sir Integra did great in the game!" said Seras. This, however, did not help Alucard's mood. Integra by this time left the living and Alucard decided to play again.

PhasePhantom: Awww it's you again, Loser? Your mom was a better player.

ElfLover22: I know right? I just hope I'm not on his team.

CrimsonF cker: SHUT UP YOU FUCKTARDS!

From her office, Integra could hear Alucard's screaming and cursing. Then there was the sound of glass shattering and a strange fizzing sound. Integra ran back to the living room, where she saw Seras huddled in a corner, Walter was headed towards the hall closet, Alucard breathing heavily in front of what was left of the television.

"AAAAAAAALLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCAAAAARRRRDDDDD!"

There you have it, why Alucard should not play COD. Who knew Integra was so good? This is based on my experience with the game with some minor changes, like the television; my TV is not broken and I don't suck THAT bad. I hope you enjoyed. Read review favorite and if you have any ideas, let me know.