Alucard Discovers Ikea
A Hellsing Fanfic
Sapphirewyren
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing
Author's Notes: To those who want me to make a story about Alucard discovering pop rock candy, it's in the works, which means I'm ruminating on the plot, so I haven't forgotten it. I still haven't eaten it but I saw it on a YouTube video on "Good Mythical Morning's" Chanel, (be sure to check them out, they're good) and I got a good idea where I want the story to go. To answer Glape's question, no I am not British, I am just a good friend of Google. I needed to find a supermarket in London, since using one from the US would make no sense. Also, thanks Glape, for this idea of Alucard discovering Ikea. So here goes.
No bubblegum. No Popcorn. No painting. No videogames. No milkshakes. No cat videos. No internet. No nothing! Integra had practically screamed her throat raw after the last incident. She had to hire a cleaning crew to scrub the cat smell out of Alucard's room and she had to call the animal shelter to take its cats back. In doing so she had scared the shelter's owner when she asked why would Integra give the cats back. "DO I LOOK LIKE A BLOODY CRAZY CAT WOMAN TO YOU?!" And after that, she railed on Walter calling anything and everything synonymous with the words 'old', 'senile' and 'stupid'. The knight was so pissed, she nearly threw her desk out of the window. She then told Walter to do one thing right and cancel the Round Table meeting because if she saw another thing that pissed her off, she would shoot someone and the hell with rotting in jail. A couple of weeks later when both Alucard was no longer afraid to approach the Hellsing director, he went to her office to complain of his boredom.
"Master there hasn't been a vampire sighting in weeks. I am bored."
"I don't care."
"But master, I need something to keep me occupied."
"I don't care."
"Are all your responses going to be how little you care?"
"Pretty much."
It went on like this for a couple of minutes before Integra blew her top, "ALUCARD GET OUT!"
"Yes, master."
Alucard decided that getting out of the manor for a while would be best. His master really should seek anger management. As he wandered down the streets of London, he was surprised at the number of stores there were and the number of things the stores had in them. He came to a large yellow building that had the word "Ikea" on the top. Alucard entered the store. Inside there were all kinds of furniture and knick-knacks. All colors and shapes, and even full room displays. "This should make my master very happy." And the vampire went about buying anything that caught his fancy and putting it on Hellsing's credit. The next several IKEA delivery trucks showed up at the gates and one of the men was led to Integra's office. "I need you to sign for this stuff".
"What 'stuff'?"
The stuff consisted of a purple couch, a spotted couch, a stripped couch, 23 bar stools, 12 green wooden chairs, 30 shelves, 16 beds, a polka dot couch, a marble kitchen counter, 10 loveseats, 19 armoires, 17 coffee tables of different shapes and colors, 62 vases, 123 pillows and much, much more.
"AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLUUUUUUCCCCCAAAAAAARRRRRRRDDDDDDD!
Chapter End.