ALUCARD DISCOVERS DOING THE LAUNDRY
A HELLSING FANFIC
Sapphirewyren
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing.
Author's Note: I am alive! I was busy with other things, like looking for a dentist…boy was that not fun. I got this idea when I was in the laundromat.
When you're a vampire, you usually don't have to worry about clothes and their cleanliness, or at least that was what Alucard thought. But Seras, his fledgling, seemed to love clothes shopping and clean clothes were yet another thing that she couldn't let go of. How typically human of her, but Alucard didn't mind because one should care about their appearance. So, it was a very important day (or two) when the maids did the laundry at the Hellsing Manor. Everyone loved slipping into a newly cleaned outfit. But because Alucard never changed his clothes, he never got to feel that new clothes feeling. So, one day Alucard decided that he would like to feel that feeling and he headed to the laundry room. The room was larger than Alucard thought it would be. On one side of the room, large silver washing machines were lined up against the wall and opposite them were large silver dryers. On the shelves above the washing machines were bottles of laundry detergent, bleach, fabric softener, fabric cleaners and boxes of dryer sheets. In the middle of the room were several tables used for sorting and folding clothes. There were also racks attached to the walls with hangers, where clothes could be hung. In the closet were ironing boards and irons, as well as sewing kits. In another smaller room adjoined to the laundry room, was where clothes that didn't go in the washing machines, were pressed or dry cleaned.
The settings on the machines were a bit complicated and Alucard had no clue that simply washing clothes was this confusing. So, he just took off all his clothes and dumped them in a machine and since he heard that shoes could also be washed, he put his boots in there as well. Now, which detergent to use? Alucard certainly didn't want to smell like a field of flowers or warm vanilla, though he didn't mind the scent on Integra. So, he chose the large orange bottle of Tide and poured a generous amount in the small slot that said, 'Pour detergent here'. Figuring that since he was a tall being, and that his clothes were just as large, Alucard figured that he would need more soap and so more than half of the bottle was used. Alucard closed the door on the machine and pressed the 'start' button, now he just needed something to do to pass the time.
"Master."
"…."
"Master."
"…."
"Master!"
"What?"
"I learned a new skill today."
"I'm working, so I don't care."
"Aren't you going to ask me what I learned?"
"I just said I didn't care, so why…. Oh dear Lord! Where are your clothes!?"
"That's the skill I learned, Master. I am doing the laundry."
"You're doing…. laundry? Right now?"
"Yes, Master." Alucard looked proud of himself (and naked), Integra looked stunned. This was not good; the heiress could feel her blood pressure rising. She took a deep calming breath, this wasn't so bad, Alucard learning to do the laundry was a good thing, right? "Who are you trying to fool!?" her common sense screamed inside her head. Integra leaped over the desk, which sent papers scattering to the floor and bounded out the office. When she got to the laundry room, she saw one of the machines, sputtering and rattling. Apparently, Kenmore machines couldn't handle vampiric magical clothes and such a large load, that it was struggling to hold the load. But it gave out and the director had to not only dodge the flying door that came off its hinges but a large spray of soapy water and Alucard's clothes. "AAAAAALLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUCCCCCCAAAAARRRRRRRDDDDDD!" When the vampire appeared in the laundry room, Integra shoved a shirt into his arms and growled, "I hope you like your whites pink, you big doofus" and she stormed out of the room.
Chapter End