ALUCARD DISCOVERS PIZZA

A Hellsing Fanfic

DianaPrince31

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing

This chapter goes out to Snowbeard 3, who gave me this suggestion.

"Master, though I enjoy the taste of blood very much, the blood packets are getting boring."

"Well there is always the option of starving."

"How cruel. I would like a bit of your blood, Master. It is so delicious."

"No."

"Why not? I've been a good vampire."

"Pouring a can of beer over Pip's head is not good."

"But the blood packets are so boring and he had it coming."

"Then find something else to eat and not popcorn!"

Alucard sighed; he couldn't go in the kitchen anymore, so how was he supposed to find something to eat? He heard the doorbell ring, but since it was never for him, he ignored it. But then he smelled the most beautiful aroma. What was that delicious smell? Alucard followed it down to Seras' room. Peeking in, he saw the female vampire open a large flat box and take out what looked like triangle bread. On it was cheese, sausages and pineapples. "What is that?" Alucard asked.

"This is called pizza" said Seras cheerfully. "Try a slice."

Alucard took the proffered slice of pizza and bit into it. It tasted divine! The cheese melted with the sausages and pineapples. The toppings blended together like a sensual dance on his tongue. It was pure bliss. When he finished the slice, Alucard saw Seras offering him a second slice; "I see that you like it a lot, master" she giggled.

"This is the most delicious thing I have ever eaten, maybe even more than popcorn."

Seras showed Alucard how to order pizza and the many glorious toppings that a person could put on a pizza. That was a mistake because now the only thing Alucard wanted to eat was pizza. Unfortunately pizza does nothing to help a vampire stay strong and so Walter decided that Alucard should put blood somewhere on his pizza. It wasn't so bad until the place where Alucard ordered his pizza soon closed down due to negligence of cleanliness, so that meant Alucard had to go without pizza for a while. That was like a smoker trying to quit cold turkey and that did not go so well for Alucard. So one day when administrative staff went to eat lunch, Alucard went on one of the computers and looked the number of a pizzeria and made an order.

Integra was glad that Alucard had finally stopped bugging her about pizza and his longing for what he called a delicacy. He had been nagging her ever since the place closed down; it wasn't her fault that the place didn't understand certain codes to maintain their cleanliness. Just then she smelled an overwhelming scent of pizza, it was as if someone had ordered a hundred boxes of the stuff. And Integra was right because Walter and a pizza delivery man entered her office.

"What is the meaning of this?"

"Ummm….someone from this address ordered 50 boxes of pizza."

"AAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLUUUUUUCCCCCCAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRDDDDDDD!"

The vampire appeared in her office and was ecstatic that the pizza arrived. But before he could take them, Integra's words stopped him; "Since you want to be an ass and do stupid things, you are not to get single slice. I have to pay this idiotic amount of heart clogging food."

"But Master, I ….."

"Walter, bring this man to the barracks, I'm sure Pip and his men would enjoy the pizza."

Alucard's mouth fell open nothing he said could convince Integra to change her mind. And the commander was right, the Wild Geese did enjoy the pizza, while Alucard was miserable and Integra didn't give two craps; "This is what you get for doing such asinine things. When will you learn?"

Chapter End

Author's Notes: Now I want pizza. I hope you enjoyed if you haven't eaten your computer yet. Be sure to check out my other fics, hope you enjoyed.