I do not own Rising of the Shield Hero or any of the characters.
Struggle
Fenris stepped onto the fourth floor of the inn just as Riley's voice cried out in pleasure, Sofia's name being mixed in amongst the other moans and cries of orgasmic bliss. Fenris smirked, shaking his head and walking past Riley's room to his own, and sat on the bed, leaning the sword against the bed before frowning as he suddenly felt heavy. Drained. Lethargic. His frown deepened. He felt as though he'd been going for a week, not half a day. Sure he had fucked Sofia, but he wasn't usually this tired. And then there was the feeling spreading through him that he couldn't place. Melancoly? No. Depression? No. He'd felt that. A lot of that. This wan't that.
He subconsciously reached up to his ears, grimacing as phantom pain radiated from the small of his back where his tail had once been. That had been a very long time ago.
He sighed drawing his sword and staring at the blade. It caught the light from the window a bit, but there was no reflection. It was too dark a metal for that. He grimaced slightly as he remembered that it was a monster's kidney stone.
"Definitely the grossest thing I've ever weilded," Fenris smirked, but it faded slightly as he raised a hand to his chest, images of Sofia's broken body after that fight flashing through his head. "What've you done to me? You bitch."
He sheathed his sword and shifted to sit against the wall, face in his hands as memories began to play through his head. Fire. Monsters. The first Wave. His family being taken away. His friends dying. And then she was there.
He shook his head, gritting his teeth. "No."
He sighed, sliding down into his bed and pulling the covers up to his neck. He just needed to sleep. That would make it go away. However, just as he closed his eyes, Riley and Sofia both cried out together and Fenris's neck prickled. He took a long breath and flattened his ears against his head. Sleep. He just needed sleep. He felt himself starting to drift off, the feeling fading and his head starting to feel light with the blissful embrace of sleep, only for him to be pulled back to the present by a body curling into his chest, their arms wrapping around him.
"It's a little early for sleep," Sofia said. "Usually you drink a bit more. Is everything okay?"
No, Fenris thought. "I'm fine. Just tired."
"Come on," Sofia said propping herself up, allowing him to see she was still naked. "You can talk to me."
"I'm telling you the truth," Fenris said. "I'm just tired. You do good work."
"While that is true," Sofia said, "and I did juat make Riley faint from too intense an orgasm, it's not what's bothering you. I know how to read you. I was very careful to figure it out."
"What do you mean?" Fenris asked, struggling to ignore the feeling swlswling after the comment about Riley.
"The story I told you about my past was all bull shit," Sofia said, Fenris's eyes widening. "I made it up just to make you feel as many emotions as you could so I could see all your tells. So now I can read you like a book. So I'll ask you one last time before I just tell you instead. What's wrong."
"You lied about your past?" Fenris asked. "Well then I want to know the real story."
"An adventurure's life," Sofia said. "A few fights, a few fun jobs, a few one night stands, then hiding through the first Wave. Now, answer the question."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Fenris said.
Sofia sighed. "Fine. Then I suppose I'll have to do it."
"Do what?" Fenris asked.
"Kiss me," Sofia said. "However you want. You can do whatever you want."
Fenris blinked before reaching up and kissing her. And Sofia submitted instantly. He could feel it. It was...different. He pinned her to the bed, hands exploring, and he could feel her submit to his every urge. He could tast Riley on her lips and tongue, and it sent his head spinning as it mixed with Sofia's own taste. However, after a moment, Fenris caught himself, jerking back as he pulled away, an apology slipping out before he could stop it. Sofia stared up at him knowingly.
"Who hurt you?" Sofia asked. "You're always doing that. Holding yourself back. Hiding behind a facade of lust and indifference. Why? What are you running from? And why are you jealous of me fucking Riley?"
Fenris scoffed, taken aback and feeling like he might be freaking out a bit. No one could read him like that. Even when they knew him.
"I'm not jealous of you fucking Riley. You're both my glorified sex toys anyway. Why would I care if you fuck each other? And no one hurt me! Hah! That's ridiculous! I'd have to care in order to be hurt."
"Does it have anything to do with your tail being gone?" Sofia asked, Fenris jumping violently as he felt her fingers brrush the scar that was all that remained of his tail.
"Of course not!" Fenris snapped, batting her hand away with a loud smack. "Some filthy, rich, human bastard cut that off!"
Sofia was silent for a moment before sighing and sitting up. "Maybe I was wrong about you. I hope you decide you can trust me, Fenris. I'll be waiting for that day."
Then, she walked out and Fenris felt like screaming, and swearing, and crying, and runninng away all at once. He was so angry, and yet so scared, and so hurt. He did trust her. More than anyone. Even the others. But he couldn't...There was nothing to tell. No one hurt him, beyond that torturing noble. No one could hurt him. He didn't care about people. He never had. He couldn't have been hurt if he had never cared.
He sighed, burrowing into his blankets again. He didn't need this. He needed to deal with Motoyasu in the morning. He needed to have a clear head and as much rest as he could get.
Fenris walked into the arena and looked up from the floor, seeing Motoyasu waiting, Mein in the stands. On the opposite sides, he could see Naomi, Eileen, and Riley. No Sofia. She hadn't been at the inn when he had woken up. And he had not woken up ready to duel. He was exhausted. Drained. His limbs felt like lesd weights. His chest hurt and his body ached like the worst flu of his life.
"You ready?" Motoyasu asked, readying himsf with his spear.
Fenris drew his sword and it dropped, swaying at his side. It was so heavy. His arms felt like lead, and the sword felt like it might have been the size of that oger's club. An image of Sofia's broken body flashed through his mind again. He grit his teeth, shaking his head. He couldn't think of that. No now. Now he needed to be angry.
"Chaos Spear!" Motoyasu shouted, a blue light appearing at the head of his spear and shrinking into it before he shot forward, stabbing at Fenris in a flurry of strikes.
Fenris strugstruggled to fend the strikes off, reatreating rapidly, though he wasn't able to defend himself and the spear found its mark repeatedly and rapidly. Finally, Motoyasu spun, smashing the base of his spear into the side of his head, hurling him. He slowly pushed himself back upb swaying before lunging at Motoyasu, stepping around his spear and slashing. Motoyasu mostly avoided the slower-than-usual attack, and suffered only a scratch on his shoulder. Then, he spun, smashing the head of his spear into Fenris's blade, hurling him away again, the sword bouncing away. Fenris pushed himself up as Motoyasu tossed him his sword, Fenris catching it by the blade and hissing in pain as his blood trickled down the edgesb bht otherwise didn't react.
"What gives?" Motoyasu asked. "I had heard you were an amazingly skilled warrior, one who could actually potentially defeat me. What happened to make you...like this?"
"Just finish him, Motoyasu!" Mein shouted.
Motoyasu actually ignored her, something that Fenris was actually impressed by. "Well? Am I going to fight the man who challenged me for five gold? Or am I going to fight a man so broken that he can't even raide his own sword?"
"I'm not broken," Fenris said. "I was never hurt because I never cared."
"What was that?" Motoyasu asked. "I couldn't hear you. It sounded like you were about to cry."
"I'm not going to cry," Fenris growled.
"Poor baby Fenris," Motoyasu taunted. "Can't even carry out his own challenge without crying."
"I'm not gooing to cry!" Fenris snarled.
"I should have known you were a crybaby after all the whining you and that bitch did after my duel with Naofumi," Motoyasu said, then jerked his spear up, Fenris's sword blade crashing into it as Fenris snarled angrily, ears up and angled forward. "Well hello there Fenris. Nice of you to finally show up."
Fenris flipped, slamming a kick into Motoyasu, jaw, sending him staghering away before Fenris followed, slashing his spear out to the side before slashing Motoyasu shallowly across the stomach, then pulling his sword back and stabbing at him. Motoyasu spun around it and drove his spear backward at Fenris from behind, but Fenris spun, deflecting it and leapt forward, both feet crashing into Motoyasu's back, hurling him. Motoyasu flipped, stabbing his spear into the ground and flipping his feet back to the ground, then pulled it free and raised it as lightning formed a massive blade over it.
"Lightning Spear!" Motoyasu shouted, jabbing the spear at Fenris and sending the lightning bolt at him.
Fenris dove to the side but it punched through his thigh, yanking him away from Motoyasu before fading. Fenris bounced and rolled to a stop, panting and groaning, stuggling to stand on his good leg and using his sword for a crutch. However, the dead feeling from before was back, his anger fading. He collapsed back to his knees and Motoyasu lowered his spear.
"Is that it?" Motoyasu asked.
Fenris's head rose slowly, eyes gravitating to the girls. He stopped. She was there, hands covering her mouth as tears streamed down her cheeks. He felt his heart shatter. He didn't want to see that. The last thing he wanted was to see her cry.
Motoyasu began to turn away.
"Hey!" Fenris forced himself up. "I haven't earned my pay yet. Don't tell me you're running away."
"You can't fight with that wound," Motoyasu said. "This duel's over."
"This duel's over when I damn-well say it is!" Fenris snapped. "So what if I've only got one leg? I'll still beat your ass!"
Motoyasu turned back to him and sighed. "Very well. One more strike. Chaos Spear!"
He shot forward again and Fenris leapt forward, slashing. Motoyasu's spear skipped off of his sword and missed, then, Fenris's sword drove itself through Motoyasu's abdomen, knocking him to the ground and pinning him. It wasn't fatal, but it was enough to keep him down. Fenris sighed, rolling off of Motoyasu and groaned, carefully forcing himself to his feet, then flipped off Mein.
"Thank you for trying to help me out of my rut," Fenris said, pulling his sword back out just as Eileen ran into the arena, quickly healing them both almost completely.
"Of course," Motoyasu said. "It's no fun to fight a challenging opponent if he's barely able to raise his sword."
Fenris nodded. "I have to go. Tell Mein she's a bitch."
He turned, leaving the arena with Eileen, only for several soldiers to step into his path, the king stepping out a moment later with Mein.
"You're under arrest for attempted murder," the King said.
"Bull shit!" Fenris said. "It was a fair duel! You can't arrest me just because your precious Spear Hero lost!"
"You attempted to kill the Spear Hero!" the king said. "I will have your head this time!"
"No," Motoyasu said from behind Fenris. "It was a fair duel, and I lost. Let him leave."
"But Sir Motoyasu-"
"No Mein," Motoyasu said.
Mein sighed and nodded, looking to the King. The King was silent for a moment before shaking his head.
"Guards, draw your swords," the King said. "Arrest this criminal and his whore."
Suddenly, the same Shadow as had been following him, now with her dark clothes and mask on, appeared in front of Fenris. "The person I represent has ordered him released. He is too skilled a fighter to be lost. Even though he's not a legendary hero, he'll be useful in fighting off the Waves.
"Fine," the Knig snarled. "But only this one time!"
"Your opinion has been noted," the Shadow said. "Now leave."
The King grumbled and left with his guards and Fenris and Eileen didn't stick around to find out if he'd double cross the Shadow. A few minutes later, they were outside and Sofia and Naomi met Fenris with a bone-crushing hug.
"Are you okay?" Sofia asked. "What the hell were you thinking?"
"I got payed by Naofumi to duel Motoyasu," Fenris said. "Where were you?"
"Getting us jobs," Sofia said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to miss so much. It looked like you were doing well, though."
Naomi, Eileen, and Riley all exchanged knowing looks and remained silent. Sofia didn't notice them, and Fenris didn't respond. After a moment, she wrapped her arms around him and he hesitantly hugged her back.
"I'm sorrry about yesterday," Sofia said. "I shoulsn't have pressured you like that."
"It's alright," Fenris said. "Let's just...forget it happened."
Sofia nodded and they all left the castle in silence. Fenris tried to ignore the feeling in his chest, but he couldn't. There was something off, something different, between himself and Sofia. He could feel it in the air, in the way she kept a space between them. The way she didn't smile. Something had changed, and he couldn't tell what, so he couldn't fix it.
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