Something isn't Quite Right
Raven aimlessly wandered through the tower, feeling anxious and restless. For the last three days there'd been no sign of Beast Boy or Jinx. What'd started as an incident that'd had her more amused than anything else now caused her to wake up at night soaked in sweat. The conclusion that'd been reached by the Titans, sans Beast Boy, was that he'd been brainwashed. But if he'd been brainwashed why would he have told Cyborg that everything was going to plan? The girl shook her head, chewing on her lower lip. Of late, there were so many things that didn't feel right to her. Cyborg's descent into the Mad Vandal tore at her. Robin's excessive flirting, and worse, with every girl he saw was worrying. The joy at having Bumblebee by her side felt so right, yet . . . . It was hard to accept that her life would be more than meditation and solitary reading.
The doors of the infirmary silently slid open and the fretting girl quietly checked on her sole patient, Kid Flash. It's been simple to remove the sex bot from him, but the tongue had separated from the main robot body and was now firmly glued, or perhaps welded would be a better word, in the poor boy's mouth. And while he could vibrate his molecule to pass through solid objects, the 'tongue' was now a part of his body. That trick wouldn't work any more than it had when his mouth had been merely glued shut. Also, unlike the glue, they could think of no way to remove it. The glue had only required some mild heat and it'd melted, but the adhesive used for the tongue seemed to be heat resistant. Until some solution could be found Kid Flash was Kid IV. It was, to the boy's annoyance, the only way to feed him.
Raven frowned as the tower shook, and she paused for a moment to worry about her 'brother.' While not always easy her life with the Titans had once been so simple. Starfire had been her one and only sister. Cyborg had been her big and protective brother. Robin had been her friend, the one whose moral strength was her guide. Beast Boy, her younger brother, had been her link to them all. It'd been he who'd pursued her when she'd tried to retreat from the world, bringing her back by his annoying and rarely amusing jokes. Should even Trigon get loose, she'd come to believe those links would remain electricity and unbreakable. Yet here she was . . . .
The girl stumbled as more tremors ran through the tower. It'd been doing that quite a bit over the last three days. It seemed the Mad Vandal was angry at losing his T-car, and more than pissed at the way he'd been humiliated. Raven shook her head and headed to the kitchen. There she placed a dozen hamburgers, cooked for supper but left uneaten, in a microwave. When the high-calorie mass was warm she reached out with her power to send them to the basement, which was now the attic. She really hated the fact the tower was upside down. Even getting around seemed backwards, reinforcing the sense that everything was wrong.
Drawn by her sense of unease the girl headed back to the infirmary to see the latest tremors had woke Kid Flash.
"He's busy tonight," the boy signed using sign language.
"Yeah," Raven answered, frowning as she studied the boy, wondering what'd drawn her back to him. "Is everything okay?" she asked.
Kid Flash made the sign for hysterical laughter.
"Right," Raven answered, almost smiling at the emphatic way the boy had made the symbols.
The half-demon girl continued to study her patient, eyes narrowed in concentration. Something wasn't quite right with the picture she saw, yet there wasn't anything she could focus in on to explain the sensation. There was a hint of Jinx flavored magic around him, but given he'd been Jthe girl's boyfriend for months that was to be expected. Still, something wasn't quite right about it.
"What is it?" Kid Flash signed, made uncomfortable by the intense stare.
"I'm not sure," Raven admitted. "Has there been anything strange happening the last few weeks?" The boy stared back at her. "Right," Raven said. "My bad. Anything strange not having to do with Beast Boy? Something that you can't put your finger on?"
Kid Flash tried to frown. It was hard to do with a tongue in his mouth. There had been something that'd wormed at his mind, keeping him puzzled and distraught.
"What is it?" Raven asked. "Anything you tell me, I'll keep a secret. And it can't be worse than those pictures of you and Robin at the mall." She shook her head, cringing at how her ever so compassionate and loving lover was keeping those to win the Titans' annual funniest picture content.
Deciding it wasn't as if he had any dignity left, Kid Flash tried, without success, to utter a sigh of defeat. He made his story blunt. "Before Jinx I flirted but never cheated on my girlfriends. Never. Not once. But when I started dating her it was like I went girl crazy. I can see hundreds of thousands of girls traveling the way I do, and after I started dating Jinx I also started obsessing over each and every one of them. I love Jinx. I was happy with her. But I couldn't get those other girls out of my mind and I cheated so often it makes me sick thinking about it. Now it's over, and guess what - I'm no longer obsessing over every girl."
"I see." Raven frowned, recalling how her own attraction to Bumblebee had taken precedence over everything, bringing ruin to her big brother. "So now you wouldn't want to stop and talk to those girls?"
"Want to, yes. But not cheat on anyone with them. And certainly not hurt Jinx."
Jinx gets a Black Eye
Jinx wandered the halls of the lair, wondering if when the time came, and she was caught, if she could get credit for time spent in the lair. Jail is jail, right, she mused, pouting a little. To her annoyance, the team was now called Team Idiot. It seemed that idiot, Beast Boy, had overheard what she'd muttered and mentioned it to Billy Numerous. He'd been amused. And while she might be the leader those two were clearly focused on majority rule. Briefly she wondered if the two even knew how a villainous organization was supposed to operate. But, to her surprise, she'd found herself reluctantly accepting the name. The way Beast Boy had put it in his simple way was: Can you imagine the look on the Titans' faces when they have to tell people they lost to Team idiot? She had to admit the image was amusing.
The girl ceased her wandering, having arrived at the office door that led to Beast Boy's room. If she didn't know better she would've thought he was suffering the same psychic shock that Billy Numerous did when he over-extended himself. For the last three days he'd either moaned about his head, or scribbled in a diary of some sort. Perhaps he writing down all our secrets, Jinx thought irritably, knowing that wasn't the case. So far the boy had only learned of one, where they deposited their loot, but everyone knew that.
The girl knocked, hexed the lock, and marched in. "Practice in five minutes," she firmly stated, making it clear she wouldn't take no for an answer.
Beast Boy looked up and put down the quill he was using. "How about we hit a few jewelry stores instead?" he asked. "It's good practice and we might now have the numbers to handle the Titans."
Jinx nodded, hiding her surprise. For three days both Beast Boy and Billy had come up with so many excuses not to do anything she'd wondered if she was teaching a class of fifth-grade boys. If they'd had homework she was sure Beast Boy would've claimed, 'my dog ate it.'
"We also have to come up with a master plan," the girl said, deciding to mention it while the boy seemed enthused.
Beast Boy handed the girl the diary he'd been writing in.
Raising a non-existent eyebrow, Jinx started reading. A few minutes later the horrified girl stared up at the boy, wondering if he was wholly human, or perhaps a half-demon like Raven. But, from what she'd seen so far, she doubted even Raven could be as diabolical as the shapeshifter. "What are you?" she asked, deadly serious. "The personification of evil?"
"A villain."
Jinx slowly shook her head, gingerly placed the diary on the desk, and carefully backed out of the room. As she turned towards the office that Billy Numerous had claimed as his greenery the girl found herself smiling. It took her several seconds to figure out why. The team was working. While he was just a kid, Beast Boy was actually thinking and aiding the group. In the H.I.V.E. Five she'd been the only one to come up with plans, plans which she'd had to force the others to act on. And the boy was clever. Condoms to take down Kid Flash? She would never have thought of it. Still, she had doubts about his latest plan.
Four hours later, inside Billy Numerous' truck, they were on a street lined with jewelry stores.
"Person who collects the most loot wins the "Team Hero' badge," Beast Boy said, eyeing Billy Numerous.
"That'll be me, loser," Billy Numerous confidently retorted, sure of his words. He did, after all, have over a hundred friends to aid him while there was only one of the shapeshifter.
Jinx smiled. Billy hated to lose, and this was a way she and the shapeshifter had come up with to motivate him while brain storming the last few hours. It'd taken that long to get Billy to stop a dozen games of chess he was playing with himself, to turn off the twenty-three sports channels he'd been watching, and put down the seventeen books he'd been reading.
"I'll man the truck," Jinx said, "and keep track of who's winning." The girl took a deep breath. "Now get moving," she roared.
Beast Boy was slow to start, needing a few seconds to clear the ringing from his ears. Girl has a loud voice when she needs it, the boy noted and raced for the second nearest jewelry store in the form of a cheetah.
Jinx blinked, dazed by the sight of the two at work. While Billy Numerous could split into a hundred clones he'd taken the time to joke around with himself, and flirt with a scared store worker, meaning it took him three-and-a-half minutes to clear the nearest store. Beast Boy, having simply smashed through the window of the next store as some sort of giant turtle that looked like it weighed two tons, if not more, was finished in just three minutes. The shock she'd seen appear on the faces of the numerous Billy clones had been fun to watch, and the girl found herself smiling.
Beast Boy ran, using the form of a cheetah to move between stores at upwards of a hundred kilometers an hour. In that form he would then launch himself, still moving at insanely high speeds, at a window before becoming an Archelon - a gigantic, prehistoric turtle that would smash through the window. Inside it was the form of a gorilla to tear the tops of the display cases. Then an octopus to loot the cases. It was efficient, allowing him to clear out a store and reach the next in less than three minutes.
Billy was shocked. He'd been so sure his numbers would win against the shapeshifter that he'd allowed himself to get off to a slow start. A slow start he was having trouble making up for. A dozen clones were more than enough to rip out a window. They would them swarm the store, looting everything in sight. Once, by accident, he'd even come out with two skirts and a bra and panty set. He wasn't sure how that'd happened and decided he would have a talk with himself later. Still, he was lagging behind. He was faster to loot a store, though not by as much as one would expect with only a limited number of clones able to fit in the area around a display case. The shapeshifter was a lot faster when it came to getting between stores. Billy frantically worked to up his game, almost crying as he heard Jinx call out another store for his unexpectedly strong foe.
Jinx found herself busy with more than just counting the stores looted. Not wasting any time the two looters would throw bags of jewelry at her, creating a bombardment that had her overwhelmed. She would stash one sack in the back when another would hit her in the backside. The girl was sure that was on purpose and decided she would make the two pay later, but at the moment she struggled with the onslaught, feeling as if she was fighting a powerful foe instead of stashing loot. Twice the deadly projectiles hit her in the face, causing her to pause to throw some hexes into the stores. She stopped when the bombardment continued, leaving her struggling to catch up.
When one street within a shopping district was fully looted of jewelry Jinx would race for another, using the muscle of the powerful truck to clear paths where none existed. At such times Billy Numerous would just grab onto the hood, not bothering to waste time getting in and out of the vehicle. After all, he was losing. As for Beast Boy, he was usually far ahead of the truck, already working his way through the first store on the new street. Powerful as Billy's ride was, it had nothing on the agility of a cheetah.
A Change of Alarms
Raven was rummaging through the fridge, sure she'd left a partridge berry muffin in there somewhere. It wasn't there. And there was no Beast Boy around to blame. Feeling cheated the girl closed the door. It was then that the Titans' alarm rang through the tower, causing the frantic half-demon to drop to the floor in terror, hand over her mouth and nose. She'd once again forgot to keep the gas mask by her side. It took her several seconds to realize the alarm hadn't sounded like a fart, and there wasn't the usual noxious, stomach-twisting gas invading her delicate lungs. She stood.
"Wow, seems having his own version of the fart alarm thrust upon him worked wonders on Cy," Bumblebee said, rushing into the room. "I might have to thank Beast Boy."
Robin dashed in, having sprinted from his office. "Okay team, we have two jewelry stores being hit. Let's move out."
Kid Flash entered the room at a fast walk, dragging his IV with him. "I'm going too," the boy insisted via sign language. "I'm smashing that insect."
"Until we get that tongue out of your mouth you're in no shape to fight," Raven replied with Robin immediately backing her up with a nod.
"I have to beat him at least once," the boy signed, refusing to back down with his eyes resembling those of Rage.
"Boys," Bumblebee loudly mumbled, slapping the boy on the back of the head.
"I have my IV and it's loaded with pure sugar water," Kid Flash signed. "I'm also carrying three extra IV bags. It's more than enough energy to finish him off."
Robin peered at the boy. "Well, I guess it can't hurt."
They took off. Robin had a souped-up motorcycle which he used to pull a humiliated Cyborg who rode in a small, red go-cart. Raven and Bumblebee took to the air. Kid Flash, making his way on foot, was faster than any of them, yet kept pace with the group. Fifteen minutes later they arrived at the scene of the robberies.
"We're too late," Robin said. "They looted every jewelry store on the street and took off."
"Unusual," Raven said, wondering if the world was about to end. "They always wait around for us."
Cyborg tapped his wrist and studied the readout. "There're a series of robberies being committed just a kilometer from here," he informed them.
The heroic team took off, same formation as before, rushing valiantly to stop the villains.
"Stop," Robin bellowed out less than two minutes later, having seen Jinx get hit with a bag of loot. The girl went down. Jumping back to her feet she got stuck with another. It seemed at least one robber was having a hard time of it.
"They won't stop," the pink-haired girl shrieked. "If I wasn't a villain I would sue them."
"I meant stop robbing the stores," the hero said. "Why are you doing this?"
"For the money," Jinx answered, fitting a bag of loot in the back of the truck. "For fun." She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe just for the heck of it."
"You can still be a hero," Kid Flash signed, making sure that the IV was feeding him pure sugar energy as fast as it could.
Jinx looked at the boy and his hand gestures. "What are you? A mime? Stop acting silly like that."
Raven carefully stood several meters from the girl, keeping alert. "You didn't have to go back to villainy," she said. "You would've been welcomed with us."
"Old habits die hard," Jinx answered. "Besides, the only thing better than window shopping is jewelry store robbing."
"We can fix this," Kid Flash insisted, once again using sign language. He was ignored.
"You can still be a Titan," Raven told the girl. "Please. And return Beast Boy to us. What did you do to him?"
"He's a full member of Team Idiot," the girl proudly declared. "I didn't do anything to him."
"team idiot?" Raven slapped her forehead. "His idea I assume?"
"Certainly wasn't mine." Jinx looked around, seeing that both Billy Numerous and Beast Boy had finished robbing the stores and were now by her side. "Looks like your idea to keep Kid Flash down was a fizz," she told the shapeshifter.
"Sorry." Beast Boy sounded apologetic.
They clashed.
Frowning, fuming, Kid Flash made the first mistake of the fight. He immediately dashed in to tie up his nemesis, then, pausing to stare his defeated foe angrily in the eye, he used his strong fingers to dig painfully into the boy's shoulders.
Looking at the victorious hero Beast Boy smiled innocently before becoming an oversized porcupine. Kid Flash, who was leaning in close, had his nose and lower face turned into a pincushion. Both his hands, still firmly grasping the shoulders of his prey, were similarly treated. Barely cringing the enraged Titan mastered the pain to make two fists.
"Better be careful," a not-at-all concerned Beast Boy tauntingly whispered into Kid Flash's ear. "Those barbed quills seek the heart."
Kid Flash froze, knowing that had to be a myth, yet unsure. As he hesitated Beast Boy became a gorilla that tore the IV from his wrist.
Seeing the quick defeat of her fellow Titan, Raven shook her head and rose into the air. From her hands there erupted dark tentacles of energy that sought to engulf the shapeshift. She was distracted by four quick blasts of cursed energy.
"Time to cut the great Raven down a notch," Jinx said, grinning. If there was one thing she'd missed as a villain, it was a chance to beat the half-demon.
Raven pretended to yawn, knowing an angry Jinx was a sloppy Jinx. Though it did make her attacks more powerful.
Billy Numerous became an army of nearly two hundred and rushed Robin. But as fast and powerful as the clones were, they failed to consider the hero's agility. Boy Wonder lived up to his name and flipped into the air to land on the head of the first clone to reach him. Then he danced, hopping from one head to another, casually taking a split second every three or four jumps to snap a kick into the back a clone's head. It was brutal and effective.
Meanwhile Bumblebee, who decided to focus on the larger threat, dropped down behind one of the many clones and zapped it.
A smiling Beast Boy lept away from the dark energy that'd momentarily reached out for him and faced off with Cyborg. "Hey," he said to his friend. "The plan is really going great, isn't it?"
Cyborg didn't care about any plan, only that he be able to pay the shapeshifter back for the mall incident. Clearly set to cause pain, his sonic cannon began to fire rapidly, sending Beast Boy running. To the cybernetic teen's fury his foe became a monkey that hid in the leafy foliage of several trees. He could fire randomly, but the odds of hitting were brutally low. Then he was hit in the face with something that smelled, something that he didn't care to think about. He silently lifted the sonic cannon to begin a merciless onslaught on the innocent foliage.
When Raven created a black barrier Jinx glanced at a fire hydrant, causing it to shatter. The water erupted upward to slam into the dark barrier, doing no damage. However, knowing her current target was momentarily blind, the girl snapped several blasts of pink energy towards Robin who seemed to be the only real worry. Then she did a backward somersault to evade the attack she knew would come from an irritatingly calm Raven.
Though it caused him to pause in his own attack, Robin, one of the world's two best acrobats, casually evaded the hexes Jinx sent his way. Seeing the pink-haired girl was once again occupied the boy nimbly made a small hop and lashed out with his right foot, delivering another powerful kick to a now defeated clone.
Beast Boy kept track of the path the powerful cannon was cutting in the foliage, making sure to avoid it. Once in a while he sent a smelly gift towards his foe. The resolute boy knew it was an unfair tactic, but he was a villain who planned to win.
"Beast Boy," Cyborg bellowed, temporarily drowning out the sound of the sonic cannon. With his cybernetic eye glowing a chilling red, the Titan made a quick change to the cannon and aimed at the tree trunks. He was beyond caring about city property.
Jinx, irritated and frowning, sent more hexes towards Raven. On the ground she might've had a chance by hexing objects around the girl, but with her foe floating in the air there wasn't much else she could do. When all her hexes vanish against a dark, smokey barrier she cursed.
Raven, lips turned down in a slight frown, held up a barrier, effortlessly negating Jinx's attacks. The half-demon studied the battlefield, wishing Kid Flash hadn't been so easily tricked. Robin was holding his own. Cutting down the clones by the dozens, Bumblebee was making sure Robin wasn't overwhelmed by numbers. Cyborg was futilely destroying tree after tree, being made a monkey's uncle by Beast Boy. And she herself was easily defending against the pink-haired girl's attacks. Then again, the same pink-haired girl was easily evading all the soul energy that was being sent her way.
Frowning as well, able to make the same calculations Raven had, Beast Boy scurried amongst the downed foliage, feeling sorry for the poor trees. Once in a while he made sure to pop up as a monkey to keep Cyborg's attention, and to send him more smelly gifts. With a grin he changed tactics, sending the stinky mass at Raven's barrier.
Seeing something smear against the spiteful barrier, Jinx almost blinked. Instead she focused on it and cursed it. Whatever it was burst into flames, enveloping Raven's dark shield in a brief fireball. The half-demon quickly floated to the left, momentarily dropping the barrier. In that split second Jinx sent three hexes towards the girl, cursing when all three were easily dodged by the nimble sorceress.
Raven wrinkled her nose at the smell of roasted monkey poop and sent her magic towards Jinx in a continuous wave, trying to overwhelm the girl. It failed with the villainess doing a somersault to the left, followed by a backward sommersault. Then another gift came her way from Beast Boy, forcing her to either smell bad, or dodge. She chose the later. The woman's frown deepened as it gave Jinx a chance to reorientate herself and cast more hexes. Raven stoically raised her barrier, knowing once Robin and Bumblebee finished with the clones they would turn on the girl, then on Beast Boy. She only had to hold out.
Taking a calculated risk, Beast Boy ignored Cyborg's relentless onslaught. Instead the insidious boy grabbed a handful of pebbles and stood up far enough for Jinx to see him. Then he tossed the pebbles at Raven, aiming them high so they would fall from above. When the sonic cannon sought him out, he disappeared back into the greenery.
Jinx saw her partner appear, as if from nowhere, and throw the small stones. Her eyes immediately focused on them and the girl grinned viciously.
Raven was confident when it came to fighting Jinx. Her enemy's main power was not just the hexes she could cast, but the power to curse objects. In the air where there were no objects, and with her shield as protection against hexes, the pink-haired girl was at a serious disadvantage. That changed when Beast Boy supplied the necessary objects. As the first pebble fell to just below Raven's barrier it exploded like a firecracker, sending sparks everywhere, causing the startled half-demon girl to send her disc of black energy soaring upward. That was when Jinx cursed the six additional pebbles that had been just above her deadly foe. A wave of sparks rushed over the Raven, causing her to shield her eyes and to rely solely on a moving disc to keep her safe.
A frenetic Jinx, already casting hexes as fast as she could, used the trick she'd developed while dating Kid Flash to cast four hexes almost at once, sending them out in a circular pattern. One grazed Raven's shoulder, causing a small sonic boom. That was the end. Jinx sent more hexes into the dazed girl, grinning manically as she did so. She'd defeated the mighty Raven.
Cyborg, who'd made the second mistake of the fight by focusing solely on Beast Boy, twisted around to bring the sonic cannon to bear on Jinx. The girl mocked him by rolling out of the way even as she let loose with a flurry of hexes. The cybernetic teen was powerful, but against the lithe girl he was outmatched. Keeping her distance, knowing she couldn't face her new foe in hand-to-hand, Jinx rained one hex after another in his direction. The math was simple. He couldn't evade those hexes; she could dodge the sonic cannon.
Robin gritted his teeth, refusing to lose his focus. Pausing in his attack on the clones, he deftly tossed two freeze discs at Jinx. They hit an eerie looking wall of pink energy. It'd lasted but a few seconds, yet it'd been enough to block his attack. Now frowning, the boy snapped out two more which the girl, pressed by his attack, barely dodged. Pushing his limits, Robin moved with exquisite grace as he danced atop the many heads of a vexed and grimly aggravated Billy Numerous. From his hands flew more freeze discs that kept the pressure on Jinx, allowing her not even a second in which to counterattack.
Beast Boy hurled himself at Bumblebee, needing to take her down before she could aid Robin in overpowering Jinx. As a hawk he swooped down upon the unsuspecting girl and became a gorilla. Blasts of electricity, as well as a relentless flurry of bloodthirsty attacks, drove him back, fearing for life and private parts.
"You attacked, Raven," Bumblebee snarled, launching herself at the boy.
"All part of the plan," Beast Boy said, cringing back, wondering at the anger.
"Screw you and your plan," Bumble savagely retorted. Then she smiled maliciously. "Not that you'll be doing much screwing after I'm done with you." She launched herself forward, clearly determined to castrate the boy.
"Eep," Beast Boy shrieked, backing away from the rampaging girl, hands covering her target - his privates. "That's a bit too much," he exclaimed, still back peddling.
"Don't worry," the girl said, still grinning darkly. "It won't hurt for long. Not really. Just your entire freaking useless life." She dashed forward. When her foe became a dinosaur, she casually slammed her right stinger down on its snouth, adding a blast of electricty as she did so. While it was momentarily dazed, she slashed at its privates with her left stinger. Missing, she still managed to send a powerful arc of electricity into it.
"Argh," a severely shocked Beast Boy screamed in pain and rage as he reverted back to his human form with his hands desperately protecting his groin. "That's going too far," he cried out.
"Oh. And what you did to Kid Flash wasn't?" Bumblebee licked her lips, eyes still focused on her fragile target.
"That didn't leave permanent scars," Beast Boy retorted, wondering if she was trying to psych him out, to prevent him from aiding Jinx.
Bumblebee launched herself forward again, determined to attack the object of her wrath - the boy who'd hurt her lover and made fun of her friend. Grinning like the Joker, she pounded her target with bolts of lightning.
In unspeakable pain, the shapeshifter coldly calculated the risk of losing his balls against the harm he might do to the disturbingly warlike woman, and decided he cared more about the former than minor wounds to the later. In desperation he became a thirty-foot crocodile that shot forward with its insanely massive jaws catching the surprised Bumblebee in the middle of her leap towards his genitals; his jaws ruthlessly snapped shut around the woman. Then he spat her out and swung with his tail, sending her flying.
Heart racing, blood rushing, lost in the thrill of battle, Jinx pressed her body to its limit to evade the variety of weapons Robin sent her way. Some were freeze disc while others threatened to electrocute her. Those were bad, but the worst were the boomerangs. They meant she had to watch not only when he threw them at her, but also when they turned around and came back. The proficient warrior she now faced could keep three of those dangerous weapons in the air, forcing her to be aware of them all at the same time even as he threw more of the discs. The girl knew it would only be time before she missed a flip or failed to dodge. She wanted to curse Billy Numerous, but even she had to admit the boy she faced was something else as Robin now not only danced on the head of the clones, but even their finger tips as they reached for him.
Beast Boy paused for a second, staring at the leader, acknowledging the inhuman skill that might cause even Batman to envy. In a fraction of a second the Titan might gently dance between three or four reaching hands, never staying in one place long enough to be caught or fall to the ground. In the midst of that the boy was keeping several boomerangs in the air, deftly catching and releasing them with uncanny speed, skill, and accuracy. It was far more than mere showmanship. When the Titan threw a boomerang he not only had to keep track of Jinx but the other two boomerangs that were still in the air. When each of those deadly weapons returned to him he had to be where he could catch them, meaning his dancing could not be to any random spot that was open. Unpracticed, it was a dance that had to be envisioned a dozen steps ahead without a single misstep in what was thousands of moves.
"Sheesh," Beast Boy said in awe before shaking his head to focus on the task at hand. Powerful as the crocodile was, he couldn't use it against Robin without endangering the Billy Numerous clones. The few that still existed. And in general, while the crocodile was big and powerful, it also made a heck of a target for anyone who had freeze discs or large weapons. But then he didn't need any shapes to alter the outcome.
"Look," Beast Boy shrieked, loud and excited. "It's Slade getting a blowjob from two hot, naked redheads."
Robin knew it was a trap, a lie. But his traitorous body moved of its own accord and he turned to look. Right hand bursting into pain as he fumbled catching a returning boomerang, his eager eyes still searched for the redheads. Then the horny boy missed his next step, but luckily he didn't have to worry as he fell amongst the Billy clones - they were searching for the redheads as well. Where are they? Robin's mind demanded. Where are they?
"What redheads?" several clones asked, looking at the other clones. They scratched their heads, looking confused.
Out of breath, Jinx grinned, rejoicing, as the hero fell; then she blinked with her lips curling up in fury when Billy Numerous went astray as well. Not caring if she hit her fellow villain the girl rained hexes into the mass, brutally cutting down the clones, but also grazing the leg of Boy Wonder. When the boy finally returned his attention to the fight it was too late - his leg had been numbed and a leap went astray. Two hexes caught him squarely in the chest, dazing him. Then a massive gorilla reached out its powerful arms. It was game over for Boy Wonder.
Battle over, Jinx collapsed to the ground, panting. Billy stood talking to his clones, congratulating each other. Beast Boy, for his part, discretely checked to see if Bumblebee had left him neutered or not. She hadn't, but skin that'd been scorched black said she'd done a good job of trying.
"Good job on handling Kid Flash so quick," Jinx said to Beast Boy.
"Thanks," the grinning shapeshift replied. "The way you managed to keep from getting clobbered by Boy Wonder like that was flat out impossible." He shook his head, still grinning, and raised his hand for a high-five.
"High-five," Billy Numerous said, slapping hands with the boy.
Jinx frowed, eyes on the hand the shapehifter now held high for her to high-five. "Until you wash that thing," she said, "I'll kill you if you even touch me."
Billy Numerous looked at his own hand, and recalling just what his partner had slung at Cyborg rubbed it against his pants leg. Somehow it didn't seem enough.
With the Titans temporarily defeated an ecstatic Jinx declare it to be 'all you can steal day,' and commanded Team Idiot back to work. It was five hours, and a hundred-and-fifty stores later, that she allowed her two dead-tired minions to finally stop. During the whole crime spree the girl had an oversided grin plastered on her face which even being hit in the backside by several loot bags didn't remove.
Back at the garage Jinx held up the 'Team Hero' badge.
"Time to decide the winner," a triumphant Billy Numerous declared, knowing that in the last hour he'd pulled ahead of the shapeshifter. "I win."
Beast Boy shook his head. "Think again." He handed the badge to Jinx. "We only grabbed the loot from half of the stores each," he said, looking sorrowful. "Jinx here had to pack all of the bags away."
"But . . . ." Billy looked to be in shock. "Does that count?"
"It does," Jinx proudly crowed. "I collected all the loot while you each only collected half." She smiled proudly as she pinned the badge to her chest.
Raven and Robin talk of Weddings
Raven floated over one of the more shady streets of Jump City, having made her way to the Shady Coroner Bookstore. Opening the door the girl stepped inside.
"Evening," a young gothic-looking girl said in a quiet and pleasant voice, smiling a little.
Raven nodded a greeting of her own, wondering about the girl. With pale skin, black hair, and black clothing she was obviously a goth. She also looked around fourteen, the same as she had six years ago when Raven had discovered the store.
"Anything I can help you with?"
Raven tilted her head, looking at the mass of books that were piled in unsorted stacks throughout the clean, yet dark and chilly store. "Anything on fairy magic and fairy curses?" she asked.
"This way, please." The strange girl led Raven around several piles of books to one towering heap in the back. Deftly the girl then rearranged the pile to leave two books on fairy magic at the top. "Anything else?"
Raven shook her head. "No, thanks." She eyed the girl, wondering if she'd memorized the location of every book in the store. It was the only way she figured the girl could so easily find a particular book in the chaos.
The half-demon woman flipped through the two books she'd been pointed to and smiled in satisfaction. They explained the origins of fairy magic and even went a little into fairy curses. Perfect, Raven thought, heading back towards the entrance. At the counter she paused, frowning, knowing she was missing something. The woman turned around to let her eyes roam over the stacks of books, closely eyeing them.
"The stack right beside you to your left," the goth girl said, appearing to know what the woman was looking for. "Second book down. You can see the spine facing outward."
Raven looked, eyes focusing on the three-by-three stack that was piled at least fifty books high. There, she saw the words, 'Bride of the Most Evil One.' Puzzled by the title, not knowing what about it had so fascinated her, the woman pulled the book out. As she read the crude writing inside her eyes went wide, and she quickly added the text to the two she'd already placed on the counter.
"Fifty dollars," the girl behind the counter said, pointing to one of the books on fairy magic. "Fifty dollars," she said again, pointing to the second book on fairy magic. She paused for a second as she let her finger hover over the book on the most evil one. "Five-hundred-thousand dollars," she said.
Raven blinked. While some of her books were fairly expensive . . . . "Twenty dollars," she said, hoping to bargain. The girl looked up at her, black pupils narrow and constricted as if the dark store was the midday sun. "Thirty," Raven offered. "I can always try another store."
The girl smiled. "It's one of a kind, I assure you," she said. "That's what makes it so expensive. It's also quite amusing. That I can guarantee. I wouldn't sell it to just anyone."
"You've read it?" Raven asked, wondering at a girl who could find such subjects as mentioned by the book amusing. Terrifying, as well petrifying, came to mind, and perhaps ghastly, but never amusing.
"I have," the girl replied. "How would I know the value of something if I didn't read it first."
Raven glanced behind her at the several tens of thousands of books, few of which were light reading. "Fifty dollars," she said, hoping the girl would have mercy. "It's stained in places and almost falling apart."
"Five-hundred-thousand," the girl said, standing firm. "But I'll add in the other two for free."
"One of a kind?" Raven asked with a sigh. While the girl was often willing to bargain, this time it seemed she wasn't.
The girl nodded.
"Amusing?" Raven asked.
"Guaranteed," came the instant reply. "I nearly died laughing."
Raven frowned, again wondering about the girl. Finally she handed over her Titan credit card, the one that would charge the bill to the Titans' account and not her own. It does concern a really bad villain, the frowning woman mused, easily convincing herself she wasn't ripping off the team. A really bad one. We need the book. The violet-eyed girl shuddered, stomach twisting in knots as she gathered her purchases which had been placed in a small, black body-bag.
The girl smiled, briefly revealing canine fangs as she watched her customer leave. On her left ring finger she twisted a Ring of Azar.
Six hours later, having read the mangled writing of the book twice, Raven burst into Robin's office.
Pale faced, the leader looked up, wondering if his doom had finally arrived. The half-demon woman had yet to even mention the way he'd tried to seduce her girlfriend.
"We have a situation," Raven intoned, complexion pure white. "A big situation."
"What is it?" Robin let out a sigh of relief, glad the girl was focused on matters other than him trying to share a shower with Bumblebee.
"I found another prophecy about Trigon."
"One that says he's gone for good and never coming back?" Robin asked, hoping.
"One that says he's coming back here," Raven replied.
"Why are situations never good news?"
"Because then it wouldn't be a situation," Raven answered.
"What is it," the leader asked, eyes closed.
Raven started to read:
"From each race of the mortal world,
the Titan of Lust shall wed a bride,
unifying the broken power of the world
into one continuous shining whole.
With the final act of communion,
that power shall open the unholy gate,
unleashing the perfect corruption
of he who seeks the world's destruction."
"Sounds like gibberish," Robin said soon as the girl stopped. "Sounds like something Beast Boy would make up. Please tell me it's a joke."
"It's written on human skin," Raven said. "I don't think Beast Boy would do that. And the skin is centuries old."
"Oh." Robin gulped. "And it's doubtful that Beast Boy has a time machine."
"You think?" Raven quipped. "And how would he have arranged for me to find it. It was like I could sense the book without even seeing it."
"So, not fake?" Robin hid his head in his hands.
"Not fake," Raven assured the boy.
"Crap."
"Shall we start, sir?" Raven asked.
"Huh?" Robin looked up. "Start what?"
"We need to see how close this Titan of Lust is to freeing my father. How many women have you slept with, sir?"
"But I haven't wedded anyone."
"In demon mythology the act of sex counts as wedding someone. Are you claiming to be a virgin, sir?" Raven raised an eyebrow to peer at her leader.
"Well, no, but . . . ." Robin gulped. "It could be anyone, so why look at me?"
"Anyone who's slept with hundreds of women," Raven stated starkly.
"But . . . ." The boy gulped again. "It's not me, but around two thousand or so."
Raven blinked. "No way."
"Yes way," Robin countered.
"But that's impossible."
"Nothing is impossible for a Titan," Robin said, knowing he'd had this conversation somewhere before.
Raven sighed. "I hope you remember them all," she said, voice strained. "We'll start with some simple questions." Her eyes peered into the boy's. "Did you sleep with Starfire?"
"No."
Raven blinked again. "You slept with everyone but her?" The girl shook her head. "Why not, sir? I would ask if you were gay, but obviously you're not."
"That's my business," Robin replied, cringing back in his chair.
Raven nodded. "True, sir. But now for the big question, did you sleep with Bumblebee?"
Robin's already pale face became paler. "Why are you asking me by name?" he demanded. "There're over three-billion women on the planet."
Raven was silent for a few seconds. "Should I take that as a yes?" she asked.
The Second Titan of Lust
Raven let the door slide shut, blocking out the ungodly shrieks of the Titans' leader. In her hand was a flash drive with all the sordid data Robin could give her on many of his conquests. In short, it was a little over six-thousand video files documenting those conquests - including that of Bumblebee.
"I hear he's still alive," came a deep and booming voice from behind the girl.
Raven leapt in the air, then turned around, heart racing. "Hey Cy," she said, trying to smile. "What have you been up to?"
"Flushing Kid Flash's poop out of my systems."
"Oh. Yeah, that was something." Raven swallowed nervously. "Heard the food court is still shut down. It went everywhere, even hit the ceiling."
Cyborg nodded. "Over three-hundred lawsuits against the mall. The mall in return is suing us."
"Not a good month to be a Titan in Jump City,"
The cybernetic Titan nodded in agreement. "Want me to handle that?" he asked, pointing to the flash drive.
Raven looked at the tiny device, frowning.
"You know, I'll bet what happened between him and Bumblebee was before you two hooked up," the man said, voice calm. "And what happened in the past shouldn't affect you two. People can sometimes date nine or ten people before they find the right one. There's nothing wrong with that."
The half-demon girl nodded, still seeing images of a sweaty Robin and Bumblebee together in her all too vivid mind. "I know," she said. "But that's only half of it. He taped it all."
Cyborg shrugged. "He's an obsessive documenter, but I agree that was going a little too far."
"A little?" Raven asked, clenching her teeth.
Cyborg shrugged again. "I'm a guy and a virgin," he admitted. "If I didn't have such distractions I would go crazy and destroy the world. It's the lesser of two evils. Just think of poor Gizmo."
Raven blinked. "Oh. So we know you're not the Titan of Lust," she said, relieved, and handed over the flash drive while trying not to think of a nude Gizmo.
"I'll set up a program to scan the people's faces," Cyborg informed the girl. "It'll look for ethnic markings and decide if our great leader has freed Trigon.
"Thanks."
"Just so you know, all humans are one race," Cyborg said, frowning.
Raven nodded. "I know, but tell that to my father. He has issues."
Cyborg stoically headed up to the basement garage to watch porn, while Raven headed to the infirmary, crying actual tears that she'd managed to have a civil discourse with her big brother. It even wiped the image of Robin and Bumblebee together as a couple from her mind. Almost.
"What are the names of all the women you slept with?" she asked Kid Flash as she walked in the room. The boy stared back at her, puzzled, so she ended up explaining the whole situation.
"Pen. Paper," the boy said in sign language. He then turned and gave the IV bag that led to his wrist a squeeze. It took him less than a minute to write down all the names, organize them by ethnicity, and hand the writing pad back to Raven.
"Sweet," the girl said, eyes wide in shock. "From now on you'll be writing up the grocery list, handling our finances, and, oh yeah, the lawsuit the mall has against us." She smiled. "Any more paperwork that needs to be done will be sent your way as well."
"But . . . ." the kid signed.
"It'll keep you out of the way if Beast Boy plays more pranks," the demonic girl pointed out. "You can have your way with him when he's cuffed."
"Sweet," Kid Flash signed, smiling, eyes dangerous looking.