64. The Patronus (Part 2)

"I presume, I could stay for a short while. Unless you wish me to leave now." Obsidian eyes pierced me unwavering. His expression betrayed nothing except cold indifference but I heard by the tone of his voice that he meant what he said. Whether he wished to stay or not, I couldn't say though. But it was my choice and I knew what it meant. Severus didn't do anything half-way nor did he accept it from anyone else.

"No…?" I scolded myself for sounding so insecure under his gaze. Nervously, I gulped and bore my nails deeply into my sleeve covering the Dark Mark. Then I raised my head and looked him straight in the eyes. Although, I felt the blush return I tried to sound more resolute. "I want you to stay."

As if searching for a confirmation, Severus furrowed his eyebrows and his scrutinizing gaze wandered all over my face. Obviously satisfied with whatever he seemed to have found, he nodded curtly. With shaking legs I crossed the room to my bed and sat down.

Admittedly, I felt a bit helpless sometimes with Severus in the same room. Everything felt so complicated and made it difficult for me to act. Recent events hadn't made things easier, especially since I had seen how devastated it had left Severus. Neither of us knew how to approach or deal with my death sentence, nor truly wanted it for now.

Very cautious, as if to give me more time to overthink my decision, Severus approached and sat next to me – still keeping a small distance between us however. I lowered my gaze when his large hand enwrapped mine and squeezed it reassuringly. My lips twitched into a grateful smile. Slowly, I moved further to the middle of the bed. Severus raised one eyebrow when I smiled warmly, indicating for him that it was alright for me. The flicker of insecurity vanished in his eyes when he finally slid closer.

To my surprise, he simply laid down next to me. I heard him breath out deeply through his nose before he closed his eyes. That left me feeling even more awkward. Sitting frozen on the comforter, I stared at his face. Severus frowned and shifted to get more comfortable. When he opened his eyes again, the familiar, mischievous sparkle had returned.

"Well, at least the bed's acceptable. About the only thing in this lousy, rotten place." He said snidely and turned his head. Taking in my entirely moveless position, Severus' lips twitched into a smirk and raised a questioning eyebrow.

The uncomfortable feeling in my stomach decreased instantly now that Severus was back to his usual witty Slytherin self. Ripped out of my frozen state, I shook my head and averted my gaze. With a contented sigh, I finally laid down as well. I bit the inside of my cheek to hide my smile when he turned on his side and propped himself on his lower arm.

"How long exactly is a short while?" I tried not to blush as I felt my stomach tingling with the question. Severus' intense gaze was enough to provoke goose bumps all over my body.

"Don't expect me to stay for dinner. I would rather drink every poison in my store than spending more time than necessary with this-"

"Ah, yes. I got it." I rolled my eyes at Severus' irritated rant, earning myself a dark glare but I didn't care. The rather offended expression on his face made me chuckle since I knew precisely that he was more annoyed with Sirius. "Sometimes he's an arrogant and selfish idiot."

Severus' eyes flashed irritated and he clenched his jaw until his muscles twitched. I sighed defeated and snuggled closer to his chest. When I looked up again, obsidian eyes watched me intensely with a thoughtful gaze. I couldn't avert my eyes from his soft features and unguarded expression; dark eyes flashing vividly and filled with eternal trust.

Severus cupped my cheek with his hand. As if I could break under his touch, his fingers caressed my skin tenderly – leaving a tingling sensation. My heart and body warmed up when Severus didn't avert his gaze. I became suddenly hyperaware of the gentle rise and fall of my chest – my eyes flitting to his lips and then quickly away. Severus' gaze gentled, taking in the vulnerability in my eyes, the fear in my face.

"Severus." I whispered quietly. As if under a spell, my gaze was drawn to his parted lips and the sound of his shallow breathing filled me with a fierce longing. In slow motion, Severus bent down, his lips against my cheek, brushing it lightly—and still that light touch sent shivers through my nerves, shivers that made my whole body tremble.

"If you want me to stop, tell me now." he whispered softly. When I said nothing, he brushed his mouth against the hollow of my temple. "Or now." He traced the line of my cheekbone. "Or now." Severus' lips hovered above mine, making me inhale his breath – and I suddenly lost the last part of my self-control. "Or-"

I brought my fingers up to his hair and the rest of his words were lost against my mouth.I felt his lips against mine, soft and scorching and tender, so gentle I could almost believe it was the kiss of a breeze.

He kissed me gently, loving, but it wasn't gentleness I wanted, not now, not after all this time. I knotted my fists in his hair, pulling him harder against me. With a low growl in his throat, he cupped the back of my neck and kissed me deeply. His fingers twined in my hair, caressing my sensitive skin.

I had never felt as I did now, exploring the taste of him. Inhaling potions and his own smell. My body melded to his and I moaned against his lips. The many layer of clothes he was wearing made it difficult to find any exposed skin. With shaky fingers, I began unbuttoning his frock coat.

Severus tensed almost instantly. With a heated shudder, he gripped my hands and pushed me back, his breathing ragged.

"We can't do this." Severus dropped his hold and exhaled, gouging shaky fingers through dishevelled hair. I gulped and played nervously with my fingers. A spark of fear grew in my heart.

"Why?"

Severus groaned lowly and closed his eyes. "I've never been a person who asks twice, but I don't want you to feel obligated to anything…" He sounded as if he had wanted to say more but then he merely opened his eyes again and cautious eyes bore deeply in mine.

I shifted, suddenly feeling coy and nervous again and averted my gaze. "I know what I want. I would never allow anyone to force me to do something against my will… Determination and ambition, right?"

I felt his burning gaze and lifted my eyes as the silence grew to heavy. Severus was staring at me with a scowl set on his features. "Obviously. However, note that there is no chance for you to reach very far in this matter. Argue as much as you like, but this is the wrong place to spend time with me."

A blush crept on my cheeks, yet I couldn't suppress the bubble of awkward laughter to escape my lips. "I… uhm… I don't mean…"

"So much for your determination and ambition." Severus interjected without spite though and his eyes softened. "I understand what you meant, Arya, and I assure you that I have no desire or any intention to cross your or my limits."

"I know, nor do I." My gaze wandered to the ceiling whilst my thoughts drifted slowly towards my annoyance and frustration. It surely wasn't the first time in my life that I cursed Severus' trait of accuracy, although I was very well aware of the fact that he was merely trying to protect me.

"Look at me." Severus soft voice made me turn my head but I didn't dare looking into his eyes. Almost automatically, my gaze flickered to his lips. They twitched into a small smirk and he run his fingers provocative light over my cheek. His touch was more than enough to distract my whirling thoughts. My cheek tingled, my skin was covered with goose bumps and my breathing turned shallow.

A satisfied smile surfaced as his gaze wandered over my face and finally focused on my lips. Very slowly, he lowered his face, his mouth hovered just above mine while his voice trailed to a whisper. "Tell me to stop, Arya."

"No." I breathed out.

In a catch of my breath, he crashed his lips on mine. A faint moan escaped my lips and every frustration burned away by the heat of his touch. His mouth roamed at will, no longer gentle as his lips pressed against the smooth curve of my throat, the soft flesh of my ear.

No longer under my control, my hands worked on the remaining buttons of Severus' frock coat. When I attempted to push it off his shoulders, he slowed his kisses and looked me deeply in the eyes. Never before had I felt so lost in his presence. He never broke the gaze as he finally took it off, revealing the white button up shirt.

I moaned when he sucked my sweet spot whilst my hands went back to work. This time he didn't interrupt me, instead his lips travelled over every inch of my exposed skin and his hands roamed my body. Even though his hands remained on my clothes, they left a burning sensation on my skin.

Severus froze when I had finally unbuttoned his shirt and placed my hand on his bare chest. His lips hovered over my throat, his shallow breaths caressing and tingling my bare skin. Mesmerized by the feeling of his soft and warm skin under my hand, my fingers explored his pale chest. Severus let out a shaking breath when I teased his skin lightly with my fingertips. His whole body trembled and he groaned in response when my hands brushed the hardened, cool scars on his back. Gently, he went back to caressing and kissing my skin. I couldn't get enough of his touch and kisses. My skin was burning and my blood boiling in my veins. Never before had I felt so alive…

"Severus. I-" I moaned when his lips kept working on my sweet spot. He groaned in response and caressed my cheek. But I wanted more. I needed more. I needed him closer… I took Severus' hand and guided it under my shirt. He tensed at once and pulled back. Heated black eyes watched me cautiously, almost frightened.

"Arya, are you… are you sure?" Severus murmured and his eyes bore deeply in mine.

I sat up very slowly and cast him a short glance. I took a deep breath and thought about the gentleness of his touch and how he could make me feel only by looking at me. My hands were shaking when I took off first my sweater and then my shirt, leaving me only in my bra. I didn't dare looking at Severus as I laid down, instead my gaze was focused on his white shirt hanging loose around his thin chest. My heart was pounding loudly, I was sure Severus heard it as well.

"Look at me." Obsidian eyes reflected my love and light fear when our gazes met. Severus placed his warm hand on my upper arm, then it wandered upwards, over my bare shoulder to my throat and cupped my cheek.

"Please…" I whispered and placed my hands on his body. Severus shivered and lowered his face, his lips brushing mine for a sweet kiss before slowly wandering over my jaw and throat.

My skin was burning, my heart pounding rapidly in my chest, my entire body squirming under Severus' gentle hands and soft lips. I had lost track of time, I didn't know where we were anymore, nor cared that Dumbledore would most certainly not approve of the way Severus was misusing his visit.

I let out a shaky breath when his hair brushed my bare skin in new places. Warm gentle fingers began exploring my upper body and his lips followed. His touch and kisses left a burning trail of tingling skin; from my throat down to my collarbone. The new feelings he sent through my body with caressing parts of my skin no one had ever touched before left me moaning. I inhaled a sharp breath when his hands wandered agonizingly slow down my waist, his lips teasing the bare skin around my bra. My hand in his hair tightened, scratching his scalp and provoking a deep growl against my skin. My fingers became bolder and gripped his shoulder firmly, pressing my fingers in his pale skin.

I came slowly back to my senses as Severus' kisses slowed down. When I opened my eyes, I felt incredibly lightheaded and needed a moment to adjust to our surroundings. Severus finally lifted his head and stared at me. Obsidian eyes bore deeply in mine and I blushed. The corner of his lips twitched and his eyes softened. Severus propped his head up; the other arm rested lazily on my stomach and warm fingers caressed my arm tenderly.

"Well, this wasn't what I had in mind when I pondered on how to approach the Patronus charm, but I certainly won't complain." Severus' voice sounded raspy and he smirked. I couldn't suppress the chuckle and rested my hand on his arm. "You're… I didn't hurt you, did I?"

I averted my gaze and bit my lip to keep from grinning. My eyes flickered briefly over his bare chest and back up to his eyes. The sheepish, almost guarded expression on his face startled me – I had never seen it before, but he looked so insecure and adorable. Instantly, my cheeks heated up even more at my thoughts.

"No, of course not.

Merlin, if I ever tell him that he looks adorable, I can as well go and dig my own grave. I chuckled lowly and Severus raised a questioning eyebrow but I shook my head dismissive. Smirking, he lowered his face and warm lips ghosted over my cheek. I grinned when I felt his breath tingle my skin and squirmed under his touch. Severus nuzzled my neck and kissed my skin, provoking a long, contented sigh from me. He chuckled triumphantly and kissed his way up to my lips. His warm, soft gaze wandered over my face when he finally lifted his head.

"I must leave. If I'm correct, you're expected downstairs soon enough. And I would preferably not stay here until someone appears to fetch you and finds your room heavily warded."

I laughed when the picture of my friends standing on the other side of the door whilst I was partly undressed in bed with our Potions teacher came into my mind. "They'd assume the worst."

"Ah… they would surely attempt to murder me if they knew what I've been teaching you…" Severus' eyes flashed mischievously. I chuckled but couldn't stop the blush creeping up my cheeks.

"Yes, they probably would, but then I'd gladly teach them a few things myself. I'm not as weak as I was in first year anymore… Although, I'd be much stronger by now, if I had regular training." I replied pensively.

"Well, I'm afraid your magic is an issue I can't assist you with. I could, however, inform myself about unused old classrooms in Hogwarts. Perhaps, that would give you a chance to practice without spying eyes and interruption."

I beamed up at Severus who looked rather thoughtful into space. "That would be perfect. Are you sure I'd be allowed to practice without someone surveying me? I mean, we're not even allowed to practice Defence outside of class either and I'd definitely not only focus on how to protect myself."

Severus' impassive face turned to me, an eyebrow raised innocently. "Who told you to ask for permission. You're partly Slytherin for Merlin's sake, so act like it."

Warmth radiated through my whole body when my lips twitched in an impish smile. "Duly noted, Slytherin."

Severus rolled his eyes but couldn't suppress the satisfied smirk. "In case you might have forgotten what it means to be subtle – this conversation has never happened."

"Just shut up." I growled embarrassed. Severus watched me with increasing amusement.

"You might consider practicing refinement as well. You're lacking subtlety." I scowled but Severus merely chuckled. With a quick move, I pushed him and he fell on his back. His dark eyes were sparkling with mirth I hadn't seen for a long time. My heart pounded stronger in my ribcage when I simply kept watching him.

"However, it's time for me to leave." Severus said after a while and sat up. His expression was one of cold indifference again, but burning eyes wandered slowly over my exposed body as if he tried to memorise every smallest detail. My cheeks heated suddenly and a lump formed in my throat.

Awkwardly, I shifted and sat up as well. Instantly, his eyes flickered back up to mine and I noticed the overwhelming admiration. His lips twitched in a small, loving smile and I scooted closer. Severus wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head against his bare chest. I felt his slight shiver as my exposed body pressed against his bare skin. I knew how difficult it was for him to get used to physical contact, especially direct skin contact. Just because he was willing to embrace and kiss me didn't necessarily mean that he was always as relaxed as he seemed. Although he tried to leave it behind him, his past was still haunting him sometimes – not that he would ever admit it though.

"You won't return for the rest of the holidays, right?" I mumbled against his chest and he took a deep breath.

"No, I don't think so. For the Order's safety it's prudent I come as seldom as possible. It was the truth earlier – I don't have much time to spare." Severus placed a soft kiss on top of my head before releasing his embrace. Not lacking his usual grace, he got on his feet and held out his hand. Smugly, he raised one eyebrow and smirked inviting. His cocky behaviour made me laugh but I took his hand nonetheless.

Severus quickly let go of my hand as soon as I was standing. With a wordless spell, he summoned my shirt and sweater and I watched him questioning with raised eyebrows. His face was as expressionless as ever but his eyes flashed with something I had never seen before, they were burning with an unreadable emotion. Severus tried to sound somewhat cool, yet he failed gravely.

"Just… get dressed." He snapped slightly annoyed. It took me a moment to notice that he was pointedly avoiding my gaze – or my exposed body parts, for that matter. I desperately tried to cover my laughter as a cough, but Severus' glare at my reaction was making it impossible.

When we were both finally dressed, I had managed to calm down again but I couldn't stop myself from smirking to Severus' embarrassment. Settling for his intimidating teacher posture, he glared at me; arms folded firmly across his ebony clad chest and narrowed eyes.

"What?" I asked chuckling and shrugged my shoulders. "I would ask why you believe you're allowed to embarrass me in front of other people and I shouldn't mock you when we're alone… but that would require that I actually mock you, which I'm obviously not."

Severus muttered something inaudible under his breath and his expression softened to an almost pouting scowl. I bit my bottom lip and stepped around him towards my desk. With a sheepish grin, I approached Severus with his cloak in hands. Avoiding my eyes, he grabbed it and put it on over his frock coat. Only then he lifted his gaze again and watched me with an unreadable, thoughtful expression.

I moved closer and wrapped my arms around his torso. For the first time this summer, I realised that I had grown quite a bit since the end of last year. My forehead was on the same level than his lips now; if I straightened and raised my head, I could look over his shoulders. Smiling to myself, I buried my face in the crook of his neck and closed my eyes. Severus wrapped his arms around me and rested his cheek against my forehead.

"Promise me to be careful." I cast him a concerned look when he stepped out of my embrace. Although his face remained impassive and cold, his eyes softened slightly.

"I promise." Severus replied and returned my pleading gaze with a long, piercing stare. "Perhaps – after careful consideration, it's safer to keep the shape of your Patronus to yourself for the time being. Only few know my previous Patronus and might grow suspicious if they – by any chance, should find out about its new shape and your own."

I nodded slowly, my mind already thinking further than Severus' request. His tone made it quite clear, however, that he didn't want me to ask the questions I had in mind. I shook my head to clear my whirling thoughts and hesitated before blurting out my other question.

"Does… Does my father or any Death Eater know you're capable of conjuring a Patronus?"

"…No. Only a handful of people know but now it's even more important for no one to find out." Severus spoke softly. I nodded reassuringly and he cocked an eyebrow. In less than a heartbeat, Severus was back to his familiar, sneering teacher act as he took out his wand and turned towards the door to lift the protection spells. "For that matter, nor should anyone find out what else I've been teaching you."

I blushed deeply when I heard Severus' mocking comment. "Blasted Slytherin." I muttered darkly under my breath but he heard it anyway.

I found myself on the receiving end of a very triumphant, smug expression. "Incidentally, you should cover your neck. Some people might grow suspicious or refuse to believe you're suffering from a sudden skin disease."

"As if I'd see my own neck…" I mumbled and scowled at him. Severus chuckled and came closer. The amusement in his eyes vanished, however, as he repeated the same healing spell several times before finally letting out a long breath. My skin tingled when his fingertips traced lightly over the spots where his love bits had been mere seconds ago. A sad, yet longing expression flickered over his face, making me smile. "You know, I expect that you replace them another day."

Severus' hand stilled and dark eyes flickered to mine; his lips twisted in a dangerous smirk. "Don't tempt me, elb."

I grinned and shrugged my shoulders. A tingling sensation in my stomach made me feel light and carefree all the sudden. "Well, I mean it."

Severus' eyes flashed and he lifted my head with a gentle hold of my chin. My legs felt flabby when I saw the burning heat in his eyes. When Severus spoke, his soft voice held a warning edge. "Arya, you might be convinced my self-control is unwavering – it might be true for most of my actions; as I said already, I would never hurt you – but I can't control the way my body reacts. I will never allow my body to control my mind, if I deem it inappropriate – which doesn't mean it's easy to overpower myself. Therefore, I ask you to meet me with the same respect and patience I'm showing you."

I couldn't move or say anything, his dark eyes held me frozen on the spot and made any coherent thoughts impossible. Surely, he could hear my heart pounding loudly against my ribcage. Severus spared me an answer though, as he lowered his face and placed his lips on mine. I sighed as they moved against each other; the kiss slow and gentle.

"You're a beautiful woman if you haven't noticed as yet. My expression might not betray anything, but I'm always aware of your presence. I must remain focused, so I beg you not to make it more difficult for me than it already is."

Automatically, I nodded in response and Severus smirked. The arrogant expression that settled on his features, ripped me out of my trance. I cleared my throat and blinked several times, desperately trying to disguise my embarrassment. Of course, Severus saw right through me and sneered irritatingly. Unimpressed by my struggle to act normal, he opened the door and I followed him reluctantly.

Severus stopped abruptly when we reached the ground floor. His gaze flickered only briefly towards the kitchen but instantly his eyes turned darker with revulsion. He clenched his jaw and turned to me. There was nothing except plain coldness in his features.

"I have restocked the cabinet with potions and pastes; minor healing potions, several dreamless sleep potions, antiseptics. If you should find yourself in need to use them – one shelf contains potions that are only for you. You will find the exact dosages on the roll of parchment."

"Thank you." I smiled softly and bit the inside of my cheek. Loud footsteps on the stairs made him look up and tense immediately. My friends, along with the twins and Ginny were laughing and talking when they made their way down. The good mood faltered as soon as they spotted their Potions Professor. Harry scowled and observed Severus closely, his eyes wandering from him to me. Severus narrowed his eyes at him before letting his gaze quickly scan them.

I had to avert my gaze and press my lips in a thin line to keep myself from smiling. Severus was obviously annoyed about the not very unsurprising interruption. After all, we weren't as alone as he would have preferred. Things would definitely be different if that was the case. I barely suppressed my chuckle and thought back to our earlier activity.

"Now, the Ministry may be run by a bunch of fools, but it doesn't mean that you – and speaking of which, nor you Potter – are particularly safe to stroll around imprudently. Despite your large hero-complex, Potter, I expect that even you understand the danger you and Jackson are facing. You're not only the main targets of the Dark Lord but the Ministry as well. While I don't care what happens to you, I take no pleasure in spending the little leisure time I have tending to Jackson because of your idiocy."

Harry's green eyes were darkening with hate. With for him surprisingly strong irritation, he glared at Severus. I shivered when I sensed the tension between them until Severus broke the gaze, looking terribly impassive and bored. He nodded curtly at me before rushing to the door with only a few strides. His black cloak billowing wildly around his legs was the last thing I saw when the door closed with a loud bang.

When I turned to my friends and saw their confusion and unimpressive scowls, I finally started chuckling. Here they were and would surely be close to dropping dead right on the spot if they knew what I had been up to in my room. Shaking my head to myself, I ignored their questioning looks and quiet talks before making my way towards the kitchen.

"Alright… Arya has definitely lost her mind." Ron spoke quietly and I heard Harry hum thoughtful. Grinning widely, I turned my head and saw that Hermione was smiling to herself.

"I don't think so. Or perhaps I have… I honestly don't know." I laughed and entered the kitchen. I felt so energetic and happy that I couldn't wipe the smirk off my face. I politely ignored the curious smiles the adults in the room exchanged when they noticed my genuine good mood.

That didn't prevent the sharp sting in my heart though. Nevertheless, today was a good day.