"Tell me, Potter. How is it that – after four years of your so-called friendship and learning about the impact of Dark Magic on Jackson, you consider yourself above any professional medical opinion?"
A very familiar muffled voice was the first thing I heard when my mind began working. Although quiet, the voice sounded awfully loud in my ears. I opened my eyes with great difficulties. My eyelids felt so heavy. Another voice reached my ears sharply but I was too concentrated to keep my eyes open to hear what they were saying. I blinked confused and tried to recognize my surroundings. The last thing I remembered was stumbling out of Umbridge's office.
A low whimper escaped my lips as a vivid memory of the burning pain came into my mind. Did I even want to know what the back of my hand looked like? A swirl of black in the corner of my eyes caught my attention. I tried to turn my head but winced when a sharp pain shot into my head.
"Do not move, Elb, or you make it worse." I flinched when his drawl reached my ears. Black eyes scanned my face with a dark expression. Had his voice always been that loud?
My head throbbed painfully as if someone was repeatedly stabbing my brain. I groaned and closed my eyes again. The surface I was lying on was hard and uncomfortable. Scents of dozens of potions, moisture and cold stone left my mind spinning. My senses were overwhelmed with the surrounding impressions. I was definitely not in the Hospital Wing. Judging from the dim light and low ceiling I suspected we were in the Dungeons.
"Potter, get out." Severus missed my wincing when he glared to the other side of the room. Automatically, my eyes searched the direction for my friend. Harry was standing only a few feet away from me. His lips twitched with barely concealed dislike when green eyes flickered to Severus.
"Do not say a word about this incident to anyone. And twenty points from Gryffindor for being an arrogant brainless fool. Now leave."
I let out a deep breath as my eyes closed again. The longer I was conscious, the more I actually felt the pulsating unpleasant pain in my entire body. The nauseating feeling of pure evil magic left a taste of bile in my mouth.
Suddenly, a warm hand took a gentle hold of my left forearm. A sharp pain shot through my veins and I tried to pull away. My breathing turned shallow; my eyes stung with unshed tears when Severus applied a cool salve on the back of my hand. My skin turned colder and colder before a seething heat exploded as if flames were burning my hand. I whimpered but still, he did not release his grip.
I bit my bottom lip to keep myself from doing any more sounds of pain. However, as the burning mercilessly wandered towards the Dark Mark, I moaned and turned my hands into tight fists. Desperately, I tried to pull my arm out of Severus' relentless firm grip. I heard a low growl from him but other than that he remained quiet. My heart pounded rapidly against my ribcage. First tears rolled down my temples and cheeks. This was worse than the Cruciatus Curse. Then, suddenly, the pain vanished. Left was only the dull throbbing of blood in my veins. I let out a shuddering breath in relief. My entire body was shaking.
An entirely different heat was quickly replacing my physical pain. The air was thick with rage all the sudden. My eyes snapped to Severus who was glaring at my hand with a seething expression. His body was shaking with anger. With a loud growl of frustration Severus hurled the tube containing the healing salve across the room. I heard glass shattering. I shut my eyes tightly, my chest clenching tightly. Then a chair scraped noisily over the floor and Severus slumped down ungracefully. My heart ached when he leaned back and still refused to look at me. His murderous dark eyes were focused on my hand.
"Why did you not tell me? Dark Magic, Arya. I cannot heal your skin. My salves are useless." Obsidian eyes locked with mine and I gulped seeing the fury in them. "The crone might be a Ministry employee, nevertheless her punishment methods must comply with legal requirements."
With great difficulties and Severus' assistance I managed to sit up. The room was spinning around me. If I had not clutched his arm firmly, surely I would have fallen off the table. My vision was blurred; my head pounded painfully; my entire body trembled; my left hand was itching and burning terribly.
Severus kept my arms in a tight grip to prevent me from falling. My left arm fell numbly to my side since my hand could not even muster enough strength to hold his arm. Suddenly, my stomach clenched, the nauseating feeling returned stronger than before. Groaning, I pushed myself off the table much to Severus' annoyance. Bile was rising in my throat and my knees gave away. Severus had just settled me down in a kneeling position when my stomach emptied itself. The repugnant taste of Dark Magic seemed to burn in my throat and mouth. I whimpered in disgust – and more so, in embarrassment.
Severus kneeled in front of me and pressed a cup with water into my trembling hands. A swift flick of his wand and the vomit vanished. I emptied the cup before it slipped out of my weak grip and clattered loudly to the floor. Warm hands cupped my face. I wanted to pull back, get away from his touch but I had no strength left. I felt weak, angry… and filthy.
"I am not a liar. I'm not!" The fingers of my right hand were digging in Severus' arm. Desperately, I looked up in his blank face. Rushed words stumbled out of my mouth. "How can anyone be so cruel? Using Dark Magic against students. Why does the Minister allow such treatment? I would never lie about my father. I am not a liar. I hate lies. How can they not understand?"
Severus stayed quiet. He wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face in his chest.
"There are many virtuous people, Arya, but only a mean mind makes them truly dangerous. Neither of us has the power to make the Minister see reason." Severus pushed me back gently. Instantly, my grip on his arm tightened in fear he would pull back. Obsidian eyes bore deeply in mine, their intensity leaving a trail of gooseflesh on my arms. "Do not provoke Umbridge any further. Stay away from her and do not interfere if Potter loses his temper again. I beg you!"
Single tears rolled down my cheeks. I whimpered when I heard the barely concealed fear in his plead. I was frightened myself. Never before had I been exposed to the pure brutal force of Dark Magic. I had suffered the Cruciatus Curse, but never before had darkness taken residence in my own body. The Dark Mark was an entirely different story.
"I promise… I promise, Severus." I clenched my jaw when anther seething burn wandered through my left arm. Moaning, I shut my eyes and the fingers of my right hand dug deeply into my forearm. Yet I felt when Severus shifted and I found myself sitting in his lap with strong arms holding me firmly against his chest.
"I am supposed to help you but I don't know how… I am sorry…" Severus whispered in my hair. As I pressed my face into the crook of his neck I wanted to tell him that he was already helping me, that his embrace was enough to make the sharp cruel pain more bearable. But all I could do was whimpering weakly into his coat.
There was no way for me to tell how long we had been sitting on the floor in his office. My left arm was numb and heavy, the pain nothing more than a dull throbbing. The warmth and safety of his embrace, the gentle fingers buried in my hair, the soft thumb caressing my cheek slowly lulled me to sleep. My body was too exhausted from days of constant exposure to Dark Magic. All concerns about my fight with Draco, Hermione discovering the letters, Severus' safety, my training and my father had been pushed to the very back of my mind. I needed time to rest…
"Arya… You need to wake up…"
I woke as Severus shifted and loosened his embrace. Gentle fingers pushed strands out of my face. My eyes fluttered open, my face still resting comfortable against Severus' chest. My head was throbbing with a dull pain and I groaned grudgingly. I did not want to move.
We were still sitting on the floor. I realized that whilst my position might be very comfortable, Severus could not possibly say so for himself. I did not know if he had stayed in this position for mere minutes or if I had slept longer.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled when I uncurled my heavy limbs and slipped off his lap to the cold floor. I winced at the sudden coldness. Severus must have cast a warming charm over the both of us. I felt more than grateful because my body had obviously not enough strength to counteract the Dark Magic in my system and keep myself comfortable. I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my cheek on my knees. My eyelids threatened to close.
It was only then that I spotted the back of my hand. With difficulties I lifted my itching hand and blinked wearily at the irritated skin. It was still red but the cuts had closed, leaving neat scars of the words I had written with my own blood. I sighed in weakened disgust and averted my gaze.
"Look at me." A warm hand under my chin pushed my head to face him. Sharp obsidian eyes flickered over my tired features. My heart ached to be back in his arms, to rest against his warm body and close my eyes. But Severus was having none of it as he took a firm grip of my shoulder when my body leaned in his direction. Though not painful, his hold was enough to send a jolt through my chest. I groaned when my head shook without balance.
"You must return to your dormitory. Or I am forced to escort you to the Hospital Wing. You need proper rest."
"No… Not the infirmary." I muttered quietly. "Umbridge mustn't know how much she affected me. I don't want her to know…"
A short silence followed. Severus' eyes narrowed angrily, nevertheless he nodded. He released my chin and took hold of my upper arms instead. With a blank expression he pulled me to my feet. The room swayed around me. A sharp pain shot to my head and I winced. Severus summoned a chair and pushed me down. I merely noticed the waving of his cloak before he disappeared. I leaned the elbows on my knees, my hands pulling my hair painfully. The throbbing pain in my head did not ease nor was it increasing. My entire body was tense with the sickening feeling of Dark Magic flowing through my veins.
"Drink."
Severus' sharp voice made me blink. A tiny vial sparkling the purest white appeared under my nose. I had seen it before yet could not remember where. Without further hesitation, I downed the potion. I sighed in relief when the pain eased to a bearable pressure. Severus offered me his hand and helped me up. My legs were shaking, my body terribly heavy and stiff. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to take the first steps towards the door.
Severus shot daggers at every portrait who dared to complain about the bright light. I did not miss his clenched jaw nor barely concealed rage. I wanted to tell him that I would be fine after a few more hours of sleep but I knew it was a lie. My body would need some time to get rid of the Dark Magic in my system. Severus knew it and he was scared.
Severus had witnessed the worst effect Dark Magic could have on fairies. He had seen how my mother had suffered with the darkness of the Dark Mark. How she had died because of it. Even though I had asked Severus about her death several times, he had never said a word. Instead the thick cold walls of Occlumency would snap up, shielding his mind along with his emotions. A blank expression would remain and an emotionless voice telling me that he would not talk about it. Over the years, I had learned to understand that he was hiding and partly even suppressing his fear and pain. As not to become insane, he released his emotional pressure through anger and biting sarcasm. But he could not hide himself from me anymore.
Pearls of sweat were covering my forehead when we finally left the Dungeons. My legs felt as exhausted as if I was wading through a dangerous water flow. My hold of Severus' arm had loosened rapidly so that he had had to grip my upper arms firmly. I was leaning heavily against him though he did not seem to notice. Half pushing, half dragging me, Severus slowly brought us closer to Gryffindor tower.
"You. I know for sure you're no Gryffindor." The Fat Lady greeted Severus with an annoyed scowl. My not so quiet footsteps had woken her obviously. Severus sent her a dark glare which she returned with a piercing frown. He ignored her quiet muttering and turned to me.
"Thank you." I said quietly and cast him a weary smile. The moving stairs had not helped with my increasing dizziness. Severus' eyes were cold when he looked down at me. His hands gripped my upper arms tightly to keep me from swaying or falling.
"Remember your promise. Skip breakfast in the morning if necessary. I expect you well rested by Sunday evening or you will stay the night in the infirmary under surveillance."
I winced slightly. His tone was as hard as his features. Obsidian eyes bore deeply in mine.
"I feel more like skipping breakfast and lunch…" I mumbled. My vision darkened around the edges, Severus' face blurring slightly.
The man in question growled lowly. "I don't give a damn if you sleep through dinner as well. You are a Fairy, not some hormone driven ever-starving adolescent."
"Language!" The Fat Lady threw in sharply. Severus closed his eyes briefly and took a long breath. Anger was radiating from him. The events tonight had cost him even the last bit of self-control and patience.
"Mind your own business, Madame." Severus snapped coldly before opening his eyes. The Fat Lady huffed and narrowed her eyes. "Go now."
I nodded and suppressed a yawn. I felt too exhausted to say or do anything else – not that it would have been wise in front of all these paintings anyway.
"You're a Slytherin!" A sharp jolt shot through my head when the Fat Lady suddenly shrieked. With wide eyes she watched Severus whose lips curled menacingly. "Yes, yes. I recognize you. You're that Slytherin boy who spent an entire night in front of my portrait, begging for entrance after you had harassed that poor-"
"Enough." Severus hissed, his eyes flashing menacingly at the portrait. "Unlike others I do not make empty threats. Keep that in mind, woman."
"Please, Madame, just open the door." I mumbled when the Fat Lady glared daggers at Severus. His lips twitched dangerously, black eyes hard as ice. For a moment I thought she would not drop their little squabble. Then the portrait swung open. I had no strength left to even look at Severus, so I dragged my heavy body through the portrait hole. It needed all my willpower to keep myself from falling and sleeping on the floor in the common room. I fell asleep even before my head hit the pillow.
The weekend passed in a blur. I had come back to my senses before dinner started on Saturday. Even then I had not been entirely awake. My entire body had itched and burned – not to mention my forearm. I had almost dropped the shirt I had been holding while changing when my tired eyes had accidentally fallen on the mark. The usual black was gone – instead my Dark Mark was putting Gryffindor's red crest to shame. The snake was winding under my skin. In response, my body had trembled and I had barely been able to stand on my legs. My stomach had clenched painfully before I had vomited blood and bile.
I had been glad the dorm had been deserted. If anyone would have seen me in this state, they surely would have told others until Umbridge would have heard as well. It was better if nobody knew about this. People would only start asking questions. They could not know who I was.
Attending dinner had been a problem in itself. By the time I had finally reached the end of the many stairs, my body had been ready to return to bed. For it had still been dealing with the direct effect of the Dark Magic, sleep and food deprivation. The overwhelming scents however, had left my stomach growling loudly and woken my weakened limbs. My friends had tried to include me in their conversations – Harry was more than glad that our detentions were finally over – but bringing the fork repeatedly to my mouth had been enough of a challenge.
Nevertheless, I had felt the pairs of eyes on me the entire time. A short glance in direction of the staff table had proven me right; Severus, my Head of House and – to my annoyance – even Professor Umbridge and Dumbledore had been watching me now and then. The sharp obsidian eyes had been the most relentless ones however. Then there had also been the heavy piercing glare of unreadable eyes. Draco had kept an eye on me from the second I had entered the Great Hall.
I had ignored them all.
On Sunday I had slept through breakfast as well. When I had made my way to the Great Hall for the second time in two days, I had felt the spark of new strength in my body. Although magic was still pulsating through my veins and fighting off the Dark Magic, my mind was cleared again. The Dark Mark still stood out a bright red against my skin.
A nagging feeling was left in the back of my mind however. The penetrating coldness of fear was constantly eating away at my determination. I was afraid of Dark Magic to an extent I had never been before. It felt like illness, poison and death. I was afraid for myself. I did not want to die a slow painful death when the time came. I wanted to live!
"Arya, you really should go to the infirmary." I was ripped out of my heavy musing when Hermione nudged my arm. It took me a moment to orientate myself. Lost in thoughts, I had been scratching the last bits of vegetables off my plate.
"No, I don't." I snapped and glared at the fork in my hands. My hand was trembling from the simple effort of holding it. "Besides, the nurse cannot help me as I have told you uncountable times. If you actually listened to what I was saying, you would realise that your advice is useless… But why would anyone listen to me! I'm a liar and a nutter."
If Hermione found pleasure in telling others what to do, I did not know. But it was annoying nonetheless and I was still angry with her for sticking her nose in my private affairs. A small part in the back of my mind told me to keep my mouth shut, not to blurt out what I was truly thinking. That most people could never remotely understand how my mind – a Fairy's mind, worked.
Hermione watched me with furrowed eyebrows. I did not miss the short exchange of glances with Harry and Ron who had become silent. "I know, I know. Merlin, there's no need to lash out on me. I just mean that you should get some rest and perhaps a Pepper up potion or something alike."
I sighed and rubbed my face. Then I looked up and tried not to show the burning annoyance but without success. "Well, I mean that you shouldn't just hear my words but also listen to what I am saying. Harry and Ron might accept your nerdy behaviour but honestly, it's annoying me. You pretend to understand me but in truth you don't."
"Then help us to." Hermione replied angrily and set down her cup. "You know, you're not really telling us much about you either."
In a heartbeat my annoyance multiplied. I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to suppress the strong hurt. "Why would I? Why should I tell you something about myself if you refuse to listen to me? The few times I did you acted like brainless fools. Judging me for things you don't know anything about. Refusing to trust me with my decisions and opinion."
"That's not true! How dare you turn this against us. We're your friends and we've always been on your side." People were looking in our direction now. Hermione had come to her feet and glared down at me. Refusing to be scolded like a little child, I stood up as well, although my body protested. The conversations around us died down when the students noticed our postures.
"I am not turning anything against you." I kept my voice quiet, but I could not keep the hard edge out of it. "I am merely saying that you don't listen to me. You only see what you want to see, only believe what you want to believe. You only see two sides, judging people by their behaviour without questioning. You are blinded and controlled by your emotions. I asked you not to lie to me, yet you are still lying. I told you how much I value privacy, yet you searched my belongings. I warned you of danger several times but still you refused to consider the truth in my words. Now, tell me why I should try to make you understand, if you are incapable to think about anything I say without your emotions going haywire!"
As soon as the last phrase left my mouth my entire body tensed. Hermione's eyes narrowed and her hair seemed to crackle with electricity. Instinctively, I clenched my hands to tight fists, my weakened magic pulsating rapidly into the tips of my fingers. A light tug at my sleeve made me look down. Harry shook his head with a very confused expression.
"What has gotten into you, Arya? Since this summer you're acting strange. And now you dare scolding me as if you never make any mistakes? You lied to us as well. With the many secrets you keep, you could probably fill a book. Did we ever complain about it? Did we ever force you to choose between our friendship and your secrets? No, because we trust you… Do you even trust us?"
That remark hit me. Forgotten was my body's pain and weakness. All I could feel was an overwhelming coldness in my heart. I refused to avert my gaze. I wanted to leave but my legs would not obey. After a long silence, Hermione sighed annoyed and looked away. I gritted my teeth, not knowing what to do. She was right, I had lied several times and I kept many secrets. Was that already too much for a friendship with humans? Then again, if I expected honesty from others, I should not lie either – Fairy or not.
"It is true. I lied to you and for that I apologize." My voice was as hard as a rock but my remorse was honest. I folded my hands behind my back and looked straight at Hermione. Her brown eyes pierced me with a stern gaze. My gaze flickered briefly to Ron and Harry who stared at me as if they had never seen me before.
"It is also true that I have more secrets than others. I cannot apologize for being a coward, although I truly hate it. There are a handful of people who know my secrets and I apologize that you are not among them. I truly wish the result of my O.W.L.s were my only problem but it is the last on my list and you know why. I also wish I could share some of my secrets with you. I trust you as much as I know you. There is nothing wrong with following your emotions but you should know when to control them and listen to the voice of reason instead. All it needs is one outburst, one moment when control slips out of your hands. You are my friends but I cannot risk other people's lives by revealing my secrets to you."
The straightened posture made my legs tremble. There was so much more I wanted to tell them but I could not. The heaviness of Dark Magic hit me full force. My forearm grew hotter and I felt the snake curling under my skin. I gritted my teeth to prevent myself from groaning when a throbbing pain rushed through my entire body. I had used all the remaining energy that was left in my body.
On shaking legs, I dragged my body past my friends. The edges of my vision darkened slightly. Pearls of sweat rolled down my neck and my heart pounded loudly against my ribcage. My nails were digging deeply into my forearm. I heard nothing but the blood in my ears, leaving a strong headache. It seemed like an eternity when I finally stepped through the entry of the Great Hall. Before I could turn towards the staircase however, a tight grip on my arm pulled me in another direction. I hissed as a sharp pain shot in my head.
"What the hell is wrong with you now?"
"You do realize she looks like crap, right? I doubt yelling at her will help…"
I held my pounding head and leaned heavily against the back of a chair. I felt so terribly annoyed… and exhausted. My heart warmed suddenly, merely adding to my annoyance. My own emotions betrayed me.
"Kindly postpone your squabble to a later date and tell me what you want." I lifted my gaze. Draco stood tall in front of me with his arms folded firmly across his chest. The Prefect badge attached to his jacket flashed visibly in the light. Grey eyes glared down at me, his sharp features set in a very cold expression.
"Hm, let me think. I want a Firebolt but Father refuses to buy me one even if that makes me slower than Potter. Oh and a girlfriend would be nice. Parkinson is getting on my nerves. Ah yes, my own residence would be satisfying as well." Draco sneered at me. I groaned and rolled my eyes. I groaned again when my vision blurred at the small movement.
My body would not even allow me to express my growing impatience at my brother. The one person I had missed terribly over the summer, the one person who knew me better than almost everyone else. The one person I had desperately wanted to talk to again. The one person who was lowering their face to mine with a bitter smirk.
"But we don't always get what we want, right?"
I winced when I noticed the pain in his eyes. I could not bring myself to return his gaze so I stared at my hands instead. This was all my fault. I had lied to him, pushed him away and risked a fight.
"Stop being so dramatic, Draco." Blaise' unmistakable light voice made me look up. I gulped when warm dark eyes looked down at me. Suddenly, my legs gave away. I tried to grab the back of a chair but my reflexes were pathetically slow.
"Woah. Slow down, will you."
Together, Blaise and Draco helped me in a sitting position on the floor. I pulled my legs to my chest and rested my forehead on my knees. My hands grabbed fistful of hair. My body felt numb but my heart felt so much worse. I could not bring myself to look at them.
I'm such a coward. Always pushing everyone away, just so that I don't have to deal with their pain.
"What happened?" To my surprise it was Draco who interrupted the heavy silence. My hands were shaking, my heart pounding against my legs. My mind wanted to say something but my heart twisted the words that came out of my mouth to the bitter truth.
"Umbridge." I muttered. The hands in my hair tightened their grip.
"What did she do?" My brother spoke in a waspish voice. I cringed inwardly. "As far as I know, you were stupid enough to talk back to her. It was quite obvious that she wouldn't let it slide. You brought this on yourself… Just like everything else…" He mumbled the last part but I heard it anyway.
"I know." I dared to glance up. Grey eyes were burning straight into my soul. I averted my gaze quickly. "I know."
"Well? What did she do?" Blaise asked curiously. He waved a hand in front of my slouched position. "This pathetic posture… is obviously not normal."
I wrapped my arms around my legs. I was conflicted. Finally, a long sigh escaped my nose and I made sure to keep my gaze on my knees.
"She made us write lines." I muttered quietly. An annoyed sigh was audible.
"Lines? Really. Safe this crap for your friends, Arya, and tell the truth or I'm leaving." My brother spat venomously. My fingers dug deeply into my skin. Slowly, I lifted my head and glanced up. Draco's eyes were burning with anger.
"It's true. She made us write lines… just not with our quills." I bit the inside of my cheek when I remembered the first time I had touched Umbridge's quill. "It was a Black Quill."
Blaise drew in a sharp breath and exchanged an incredulous look with Draco. My brother pressed his lips in a thin line and clenched his jaw.
"Show me!"
Reluctantly, I raised my hand and held the grotesque wound for them to see. I flinched when a cold hand grabbed my wrist. I could not look at the back of my hand. I shut my eyes and turned my head away.
"How many detentions did you have?" Draco's voice was quiet. I could have cried with relief when I heard the concern in his voice. My head snapped around and I stared at him. So he still cared.
"Four… the last on Friday."
Draco released my hand and it fell weakly in my lap. I thought my heart was about to explode. So many emotions ran through it. I just wanted to throw myself into my brother's arms and tell him everything. Guilt was constantly nagging at my heart. Guilt for the fight I caused, for lying to them and for pushing them away. I had missed them so much. I needed them for they knew me better than my Gryffindor friends ever would.
"I am sorry."
The words tumbled out of my mouth before my mind could stop them. Instantly, the mood shifted. The worrying spark in my brother's eyes vanished and was replaced by a coldness that sent shivers down my spine. His features hardened and he stepped back. Blaise reacted similarly, only that his curious gaze wandered back and forth between Draco and me.
I pleaded quietly for my brother not to run away, for I had no strength to possibly follow him. My throat clenched tightly. I was incapable to speak.
"You're sorry." Disbelief flickered over Draco's face before anger and pain settled on his features. I flinched but there was no turning back. "That's it? You're sorry? You turned your back on me when I tried to help you. You left when I needed you by my side. You left me alone to deal with this entire damned situation. And now you think a simple blurt of emotions and apology would fix this?"
My eyes stung when he glared down at me with burning anger. His features were contorted with rage. His pale skin turned a light pink. Frustrated, he turned away and ran a shaking hand through his hair. My heart was sinking lower with each passing second. With all my willpower I lifted my heavy body to stand on my feet.
"I know, nothing I say could possibly set this right. I screwed up! But I didn't want you to find out the truth. I wanted to protect you, Draco. Just listen to me, please! You don't have to talk to me ever again, but please, hear me out first!"
Draco whirled around, a piercing glare making me wince. He was shaking with anger. "Yes, you always want to protect everyone. That's your damn problem, Arya. You make decisions for others that are not yours to make. You feel responsible for things that have nothing to do with you. You let your poor excuse of friends manipulate you only to end up in the infirmary every damn time. And now you've chosen them over me again!"
I was frozen on the spot when he stepped closer. Grey eyes flashed with pain and rage as he spat his words into my face. "I'm done with your poor excuses, Arya. I'm sick of your lies and paternalism. I would say go to hell, but you don't know what it's like to house the Dark Lord in your home."
He swept past me. My heart stung as if he had thriven a dagger into my chest. An overwhelming coldness crept up my spine. I swayed when I forced my body to turn towards my brother. Helpless, I stared at his retreating back.
"Draco, please. Let me explain. I beg you!"
He stopped and turned his hands to tight fists. Slowly, he faced me again. A whimper escaped my lips at his hard expression.
"No, Arya. Safe your excuses and lies for Snape or whoever actually cares. Just stay away from me."
My brother whirled around and strode towards the exit. He threw the door open, banging it loudly against the wall. I remained frozen on the spot. As soon as the meaning of his words had entered my mind, my legs shook stronger than before and I fell on my knees. Sobbing, I hugged my knees to my chest. I had really screwed up this time!
I barely noticed when someone pulled me to their chest. Desperately, I clung to their strong defined arms. My pained mind recognized the unmistakable scent of Blaise. Comfortingly, I buried my face in his chest. He rested his cheek against my forehead.
"Well, I can't say his anger isn't justified. You really were a pain in the ass before summer." Blaise' commented lowly. Another wave of sobs shook my entire body. Blaise squeezed me in his arms before chuckling to himself. Biting my bottom lip, I raised my head. "He'll come around. Give him some time and he'll want to hear you out… But he has a point though. You really have to stop patronising us, Arya. We might not have your magical power, but we're capable to protect ourselves."
Carefully, he pushed me back. He cupped my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. Dark eyes pierced straight into my soul with the hard spark of reality. "Draco and I have grown up surrounded by the Dark Lord's followers. We know better than anyone else what it means to be caught right in the middle of it. It's too late for us to leave now. Protect your Gryffindor friends if you must, but we deserve – must know the truth to defend ourselves. You understand me?"
Blaise released my face and I nodded. I gulped several times to clear my throat before finally daring to speak. The words rushed out of my mouth and I pleaded desperately. "I am truly sorry, Blaise. I was – am not myself since my father's return. I cannot excuse my behaviour, I knew what I was doing the entire time, but I was frightened. You have to believe me."
Dark eyes watched me with an unreadable expression. Blood rushed loudly through my ears when the silence became almost unbearable. My throat was tight and my heart heavy with shame. Blaise' scrutinizing gaze pierced me unwavering.
"Did you tell Snape?" He asked quietly. I lowered my gaze to my trembling hands.
"He forced me to." Blaise raised his eyebrows and snorted. I managed a half-hearted glare at his amusement. "Half of Dumbledore's Order was present when he pushed me into a corner. By that point, I was sick of all the lies and the burden of… of this pain." I mumbled the last part. Blaise narrowed his eyes.
"And your Gryffindor lot, do they know as well? Are Draco and I the only ones who were left in the dark?"
My head snapped up and I cast my friend a pleading look, ignoring the throbbing in my head. "No. I mean Harry knows, he was there. But he is the only non-adult who knows, I swear. The Order members have been forced to secrecy about it. Professor McGonagall was there and Dumbledore, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley as well, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and a could of people I barely know."
Blaise nodded slowly. He lowered his head and sighed loudly. He closed his eyes before rubbing his face. I wanted to say something, anything, but my mind was blank and my body exhausted. I drew a surprised breath when Blaise raised his head again. Tired yet warm eyes watched me.
"You know, I'm still pissed off… But you look even worse than Draco did after Granger punched him, which is almost impossible. I mean, you're practically rivalling with Parkinson at the moment." His lips twitched in a crooked smirk.
I chuckled half-heartedly. My glare did not impress him the slightest. Blaise' look fell on my trembling hands and he held out his own.
"Now, move your lazy ass, Gryffindor. It won't do you any good to fall asleep here. Not that I care, but your boyfriend would give me quite the lecture if I left you where nobody would ever run into you. The corridor should do though. Mrs. Norris will find you sooner or later."
Annoyance and exhaustion made me groan, nevertheless I grabbed his hand. With a mischievous smirk, Blaise pulled me up. I had no strength left to answer or react and he knew it.
Always the friendly snake from Slytherin house…