Chapter 2

When the handmaids came in they didn't speak. The taller of the two went straight for the bed and changed the sheets as the shorter one helped bathe me. She scrubbed and shaved parts of me that I thought were natural to have hair there. Then she brushed and braided my hair while rubbing beautifully scented oil into my locks. Even though I was a captive, I had never felt so pampered or clean before. When I was finally dressed they brought me food. And that was the first time they spoke since entering the room.

"I'm surprised you eat and drink everything they give you," whispered the taller one.

"Why wouldn't I? I have to try to keep my strength up," I responded slightly annoyed that this was the first thing the maid had said.

"They fill your food with vitamins and hormones, so you're more fertile, and…," she trailed off "and what?" I snapped, I hated not knowing what was going on.

The shorter one was the one who spoke up, "I don't know how they do it, but they put something in the water and the food to increase the chemicals in your brain, so you're more willing and ready for when He comes to see you."

"are you telling me that they put something in my food to make me horny?" this was ridiculous

"yes," they replied at the same time. The taller one then mentioned that they do it to all of the girls and women on the ship. My mind was going a mile a minute, but it was also calming. I knew I couldn't secretly enjoy what Kylo was doing to me, on my own. That would be crazy.

When I finally zoned back into what they were saying I interrupted them and asked for their names. They said they didn't have names, or if they did they don't remember them. That was the saddest thing I've ever heard. I asked them if I could name them. They replied no, it would not be appropriate and they don't want to be punished for having a name. They also didn't want me to be punished for giving them names. I asked if they could stay with me, and they replied they could until Kylo returned, it turned out I was in his chamber. I was sent to Kylo's room. They told me it was part of Snoke's plan. The shorter girl belonged to General Hux and the taller girl did not know her Master's name, she was only told to call him Sir or Master. She told me he was a horrible man, who took his aggression out on her. She told me I was lucky, because at least Kylo doesn't hit me. The shorter girl said that General Hux was a cold man, he just wanted to someone to be there for him to realize himself in. she said she's never seen such dead eyes on a man who was still breathing.

We spent the rest of the day talking, and I only ate half of my meals for the rest of the day. When Kylo returned the girls moved as fast as they could to get out of the chambers. I stayed sitting on the floor and I watched him strip down to his underwear and then flopped down on the bed. It was the most—normal thing I've ever seen him do. I was just starring at him when I felt the air shift around me and I was dragged up onto the bed next to him, still in my sitting position. He got close to my thigh and started to kiss it and suck on it, it was oddly arousing and intimate. I closed my eyes and let a soft moan escape my lips. My moan turned into a scream of pain because he stabbed me with a syringe, "if you're not going to eat, then I'll have to get this stuff in you another way." He growled. He started to rub my thigh where the syringe pierced, as if he could physically move the liquid faster through my veins. I kept my mouth shut, after talking with the girls all day, I was tired and if he was going to use me for his own pleasure I wanted him to get it over with. But he was just lying there with his arm draped across his eyes I was getting restless, annoyed, and anxious. So I climbed onto his lap so I was straddling him. He removed his arm from his head and asked me what I was doing. "Don't you want to…" "no I don't. I want to go to bed. I had a very long day."

"Did you kill more of my friends today?" I boldly asked.

"No." that's all I got, but I was still sitting on his lap, and I felt how tense his muscles were underneath me. I put my hands just above the waistline of his boxers and he sucked in a sharp breath. Was he nervous that I was touching him without being forced? I started to make small circles on his hard stomach, and his whole body became rigid. He didn't open his eyes, but his breathes were short and fast. He was nervous. I started to run my hands up his chest and back down to his boxers, slowly dipping my fingers under his underwear. His cock grew under me, and I felt it trying to escape its prison and get toward me. I shimmied down his legs so I could brush my hands over his covered cock, what was wrong with him? I started to pick up speed and I heard him gasping and moaning softly. He sounded like a 14 year old boy, getting touched by a girl for the first time. He looked…innocent? But then his eyes opened and you saw the dead, beaten down man he truly was. It was startling how broken he looked at that moment. I stopped rubbing him and I couldn't believe it, but I asked him if he was okay. I asked Kylo Ren if he was okay? I was appalled at myself! He didn't respond. He just raised his hands to my head, and I felt like the Millennial Falcon was trying to enter my brain. He showed me a conversation between him and Snoke. He looked much younger, more naïve, and gullible. I heard Snoke tell him that if he didn't join him, he would kill his family and the entire resistance. He made it sound like he just wanted him as his apprentice, but it became something so much more than that. I felt years of pain, guilt, and misery. I felt how desperately he needed me to get pregnant to please Snoke, and I felt how disappointed he was when the droid reported I couldn't get pregnant because of my awful lifestyle on Jakku probably stunted my "womanly growth" which I already knew. I felt his need for control. But most of all I felt how tired he was. When he exited my brain I felt just as tired as he did, if not more. I was trying to process it all. The young scared man trying to save his family turned into a monster desperate for control over his life and tired of being lied to from Snoke, and tired of living a lie, and tired of being…alone. He was looking up at me, waiting. I stared at him for, I don't know how long. But I realized I wasn't the only one who was captive in this room.

I leaned down and kissed him, softly, but he didn't move. I kissed him more intensely while rotating my hips down on his dick. I ran my hands up his chest and into his hair, I sent shivers up his spine. I moved one of my hands to his wrist and pressed gently down into the mattress. I wish I didn't do that. I was slowly rising off of him and I couldn't breathe. He stood up and said "never do that again," in the most serious darkest tone he could muster. I just shock my head and I was released onto the bed trying to fill my lungs with air. He climbed under the covers and told me to do the same as every light turned off.