Hey ya'll, I may feel even more sheepish this time….. Haha! I went away for Easter and have had a difficult time getting settled back in. I also had a fair amount of research to do for this chapter, but enough of my excuses! This chapter is short, but the next shouldn't be. I hope you all enjoy! Happy Mothers Day!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my oc and her story.

Chapter 5

You Got Inside my Head.

Addy pulled her foot up onto the chair in front of her, wrapping her arm around her knee, and rested her chin against it. To anyone who did not know any better, she would look outwardly calm, as if a weight had not settled into her stomach last night. If they didn't look too closely, they might also assume the creases in her brow and around her eyes were there because she was concentrating on the periodical lying open on the dining room table before her. They wouldn't know they were really there because of the man she'd seen last night — or so she chose to tell herself. Addy poured her attention over the open edition of the Journal of Internal Veterinary Medicine on the table. Like if she tried really hard to be absorbed by the contents maybe she would become so. She needed to be, that was for certain. She had been so busy these last few weeks, Addy had only managed to skim through the last three issues. That was not a place you wanted to be when one of the doctors in charge of your clinical liked to give the equivalent of verbal pop quizzes on recent articles. Addy had found out first hand that, while you were not graded for your answers, you might as well be. She had also learned it was an uncomfortable and embarrassing place to be when Doctor Anderson asked you a question that you couldn't answer.

An image of the tall, grey-haired man with a stern brow flitted through her head. He emphasized how important it was to know everything you possibly could and be knowledgeable about all areas of veterinary medicine. Doctor Anderson was right, and Addy's only excuse for not reading them was exhaustion. She hadn't spent more than eight hours a day in her apartment since returning to Fort Collins after Thanksgiving. Usually less.

She had planned on using some of her vacation to become current again. Granted she had only been home for a few days and still had plenty of time, but getting up to date wasn't exactly why she had decided to do this this morning. Truthfully, she was hoping if she read it would keep her distracted and her thoughts far away from Daniel Jackson. She hadn't slept at all last night. Seeing him had brought with it such an overwhelming rush of conflicting emotions. Her heart had fluttered and she couldn't move, an ache forming in her stomach. For the briefest of moments, she felt genuinely happy like she used to be when she saw him. And to make her feel even more pathetic, one of the first things she had thought was she had forgotten just how beautiful his mouth was. Silly and stupid, she knew, but he did have nice lips and she had... Her thought trailed off as the weight in her stomach turned into a sick feeling. She had been a bundle of nervous energy; her emotions too chaotic for her to articulate, even now. In that instance, she had wanted….

The confusion had made her feel vulnerable and that had made her angry.

Addy shook her head, sighing heavily. There were so many other things she needed to be thinking about besides Daniel Jackson. That was difficult, however. She was not angry or even confused anymore, just emotionally exhausted.

She also needed to decide if she was going to carry on and do the specialist program in Pueblo after graduation. This problem, unlike her inability to concentrate, had nothing to do with Daniel. Addison just was not so certain she wanted to do another three to four years of postgraduate work and had not been since before classes started in the fall. Neither the issue of being behind on her reading nor her need to make up her mind about potential postgraduate studies seemed to be reaching their desired ends, however.

When she was young and decided she wanted to be a veterinarian, she had wanted to be an exotic vet. Well, more than just that, though she didn't know it then; she had wanted to specialize in Zoological Medicine. She had wanted to right through high school, but becoming a Zoological Veterinarian was highly difficult. It was an intensively competitive field of study in academia. That was mainly because there were so few chances for the postgraduate work, very few managed it. Students who were serious spent hours researching and writing papers, striving to get an original paper published that would help them be accepted. Even then, most did not make the cut. It was not that Addy ever stopped wanting to work with zoos and wildlife preserves, but she had decided she would settle for specializing in large animal medicine.

All specialized fields required writing and publishing original papers and she had written many. Three of them had been published, one in the very periodical she was reading. That one was about mycotoxicosis in canines. Mycotoxicosis is a fungal infection that could prove fatal in canines and other animals and a well written and researched paper was a sure publication. She had also written about obstructive feline idiopathic cystitis.

The one that had actually been the most interesting to write was about Chronic Wasting Disease in the North American deer population. It had highlighted how difficult it was or would prove to be to vaccinate wild deer populations. That topic being closer to the heart of the field she truly wanted had almost been a passion project.

She absent-mindedly grabbed the large stoneware cup full of coffee and hot cocoa from the table and took a drink. Despite the preoccupation of her thoughts, she did read every single word of the magazine article. However, if anyone had asked her to summarize what the two and a half pages said, she might have been able to tell them it was about new neurological treatments for equine encephalitis, but very little else.

Her father took the seat across from her, halting her thoughts. He glanced at her briefly before he lifted half of the sandwich he had brought to the table with him.

"I was thinking after Christmas was over, maybe we could head up to Telluride for a day or two. You could snowboard and we could do some ice fishing?"

"K." Telluride would be insanely busy the week of Christmas but Addy didn't mind. Though, rather than staying at the cabin she did wish her father would go skiing. He knew how — it was him that taught Addy to ski when she was a kid. Addy suspected it had something to do with her mom. It was something they had always done together. She had never spoken the question aloud, however. It was just one of the things that changed with her mom's death.

He went on, oblivious to her thoughts. "Your aunt Genie is leaving Wednesday. I was thinking we could leave Friday or Saturday morning?"

"Works for me," she replied, shifting in her seat, she put her foot back on the floor. Going away might be a good idea. Maybe snowboarding would help Addy clear her mind and she could decide what she was going to do.

"What are you reading about?" He inquired next, his blue gaze traveling to her magazine.

"New neurological treatments for equine encephalitis." She said, not missing how the question mirrored her thoughts of a few minutes ago.

"Oh, I see," her father said, a slight twinkle in his eye. Colonel Addison Palmer knew what encephalitis was and what an equine was. Even if he had not, he knew better than to ask any more questions. He had learned two things long ago: not to ask unless he wanted an explanation, and most times they weren't simple ones. He also got the feeling that his only child liked to over-explain things in more detail than was strictly needed.

Addy felt the edge of her lip twitch upward a fraction. "Do you really?" she asked dryly, watching him as he took another bite. She was very much aware why he said, "I see." In fact, he had been saying "I see," for about eight years now.

Shaking his head as he swallowed, he said, "no. No, not really. Have you decide if you're going to do that program yet?"

"Nope," she said, popping the 'p'. "I could explain if you would like?"

"That's alright. If I decide I need to know, I will read your book." After chewing up another bite, the colonel held her gaze, studying her for a moment. "Well, you had probably better."

"Yeah." She agreed, taking a deep breath.

XXXX

Daniel's hand paused mid-word and he looked down, his brows growing close as he made sure he was translating the words right. He looked back up and continued writing on the chalkboard then stepped back, studying his work. He had started this translation from pictures and notes gathered from the original expedition sometime back. Daniel had decided to go over them again in the hopes he'd missed something that may be of use.

"There. It's there, right there," Sam observed as she paused the video taken by the drone. She didn't bother to look at Daniel. She swirled her chair, grabbing a still they had taken from the video she was watching.

She stood up after a moment. Picking up a sharpie, she pulled the top off with her teeth as she leaned over a fresh copy of the aerial map they had exploded.

She studied the map's topographical features closely, and the graph information before she circled a small area of the map with a dark spot in its center. "The first anomaly is right here," she said, meeting Daniel's gaze.

"How many more do you think there are?"

"Besides the three we've found? A dozen, maybe more, spread out across the planet." Sam returned her attention to the map as she continued. "But even that's just a guess. We really have no idea how big PX336 is."

Sam spread her arms out to her sides, placing her palms flat down on the edge of the table. She needed another mineral survey at one of these sites along with a survey of the land. "I wish our drones were capable of subsurface imaging."

Daniel did too; it would make his job that much easier. The technology did exist but as far Daniel knew — and he wasn't a scientist — the only place it had been employed so far was on the Ikonos-2 satellite presently in orbit around Earth. Their drones were capable of high resolution and infrared imagery. Unfortunately, that was the limits of their multi-spectral capabilities, and the resolution just wasn't good enough for subsurface imaging. And infrared was obviously of no use on a dead planet so they couldn't analyze the growth patterns of plants to see what they would reveal. "Do you think we have enough to convince General Hammond?"

"Maybe enough for another mineral survey." It wasn't entirely like the General to ignore their requests to further explore a planet, but with so much emphasis having been put on them bringing back technology, he wouldn't increase the manpower. There was no obvious weapons technology left by the planet's dead inhabitants, and there were no Naquada deposits either to entice further interest at this time. But if Carter could prove it was a weapon or a form of warfare that would change... The powers that be would want to know if there was technology out there that could kill a planet. The Tok'ra had the capability, they had blown up Sokar's moon, but if this really was a weapon, it was different. It did not blow the planet up, it quite literally killed it and left a husk so to speak.

The dark spot on the map Sam had just circled, she felt certain was theoretically one of several impact sites, where something was potentially shot into the core of the planet.

Somehow that felt much more personal. "Doesn't this feel a little personal?" Daniel asked, mirroring his thoughts. "Like whoever did this wanted the people to live in fear, to suffer?"

"Yeah, I suppose it does," she agreed, checking her watch, her eyebrows lifting. She started gathering up the map. "I really have to get going." And she did. When Sam had arrived at the mountain it had been at little after eleven in the morning; it was presently almost three thirty and she had a lot to do.

"What about you? What are you going to do now?" Sam inquired conversationally. She really just wanted to know he was doing okay and wasn't going to sit there the rest of the afternoon.

Daniel glanced down at his own watch, surprised to see most of the afternoon was gone already. It would be dark soon. He needed to go pick up presents. "I have to run to the mall."

He really would like to stay later and was tempted but there was no way. He would finish this at home later. Daniel grabbed a folder from his desk, shoving the papers he held inside and a couple of books as well. Grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair, he followed Sam to the doorway, shut off the light and closed the door behind him. Juggling the folder and books on one arm, Daniel slid his other into his jacket, then switched hands and did the same with the other. The normally busy corridor was empty of all but them and for a moment the only sound was that of their shoes on the concrete floor.

"Is your dad going to make it for Christmas?" Daniel asked as they made their way to the elevators.

Smiling, Sam said, "Yeah, he's going to try. He's currently on a mission." A thoughtful look slipped onto her face and she asked, "do you miss Nick?"

Daniel could not say that he hadn't thought about his grandfather lately. After everything that happened with Addison, Daniel didn't know if it was because he had been seeing just how alone he was or not, but he had thought about his grandfather. "Nicholas Ballard was never one for holidays." Daniel's brow furrowed as he silently added he was lucky if he received a letter a year from his grandfather, let alone see the man at Christmas time.

"That's too bad," Sam said, pulling Daniel back to the present.

He met Sam's blue gaze, nodding his head. "It is what it is," Daniel replied. The response was automatic and one of many he had used through the years when people asked about his family or lack thereof. He had found people got uncomfortable when they found out you were orphaned at the age of eight and even more so if they stumbled across the fact you had a living grandfather who'd left you to be raised by strangers.

By the time they reached the elevator, a silence had settled around them that neither broke. Daniel pushed the button as they waited. There was a far off look on his face again, his brow furrowed as he stared at the keypad. Sam watched him for a moment. No matter what Daniel might say about his relationship with his grandfather or how he tried to dismiss his childhood, Sam knew it wasn't simply a matter of 'it is what it is.' However, right now at this very moment, Sam wondered if he was thinking about his grandfather tucked away on an alien planet or the young woman from last night. Or maybe it was a combination of both that had left that distracted look on his face again.

"Sometimes it's best not to think too much," she offered as the doors opened and they stepped inside.

Daniel's attention shifted to Sam as the doors closed and he pressed the button labeled 'P' that would take them to the parking level. "I'm fine," he replied with a smile that was meant to be reassuring.

Not at all convinced, Sam simply smiled in return. She hated seeing him like this. Out of all of them she felt like Daniel deserved to find some happiness, especially after all he had lost. "You know, if you ever need to talk, I'm here, right?" She offered as the doors opened to reveal the parking level.

Daniel nodded his head. "Thanks."

Later that evening.

Addy smiled at her cousin Amanda as she hurried toward the kitchen. Her aunt Genie and Uncle Matt had arrived a few hours ago with their two children: Amanda, fifteen, and her older sister Crissy, seventeen. Once Amanda had disappeared into the hall, Addy returned her attention to Grace. Her gaze drifting down her best friend in the world's face for a moment. She had refrained from calling Grace all day. She knew Grace would be here for dinner tonight.

"I saw him." Addy finally gave in, despite her resolve to not think about Daniel Jackson or talk about Daniel Jackson. She looked down for a moment before she continued. "Last night. I saw him last night."

Grace nodded, surprised but still not, an uneasy feeling settled into her stomach. She didn't tell Addison that she had seen him as well. She simply said, "Yeah?"

Addison nodded in answer. There was just something so... so... She didn't know what. Surreal? She had been so exhausted last night, so drained. Earlier today she had been as well, but as the day went on and she had so much to do that now she was exhausted again.

Grace studied Addison, waiting for her friend to speak. "I saw him too."

Addy's gaze shot back to Grace. "When?"

"He came into Ruby's the other night after you left."

Addy sat up straight, her eyes drifting over Grace's features again. She wanted to know why Grace hadn't told her.

"Look, I know I probably should have told you, Add."

Unaccountably angry for the briefest of moments, that feeling gave way to another and her stomach tightened more.

"How was he?" Addy asked, unable to stop herself as the memory of him last night filled her head. He had looked uncertain among other things. Things Addison did not allow herself to contemplate.

"He seemed good. He came in for some pie and coffee," Grace trailed off, watching as Addy looked down again. "Maybe a little lost."

Addy remained silent for a moment, the same chaos she had felt last night rioting inside her. "Did he say anything?"

Grace knew what Addy was actually asking. "No," she said softly. He had wanted too, Grace knew that. But he had not. Honestly, that was probably for the best — if he had Grace quite possibly would've told him to fuck off. "What did he say?" she asked.

Addy shook her head, almost feeling the need to cry. "He..." she began trailing off. "He," Addy's brows scrunched up, her gaze drifted to her lap. "Nothing," she went on with a shrug and yet another shake of the head. "He wanted too, but I wouldn't let him."

Grace reached over grabbing Addy's hand, she really had no idea what to say. For almost anyone else they might be angry but... "Add, what happened?"

Addy shook her head, her gaze fixing unseeingly on the hearth stones. "I — I know you think I'm stupid."

"No, not at all." Grace didn't. Her friend was big-hearted and had a tendency to wear that same heart on her sleeve. It might make her more susceptible to being hurt but it didn't make her stupid. Truly that was part of what made Grace so angry: she never would have expected Daniel to hurt Addy. Not like this, not in this way. They had both been half in love with each other for months. Grace had seen it first hand. She would have actually put money on him not hurting her.

"I'll be alright," Addy said a moment later. "I'm just tired and so far behind in my reading, and I still don't know if I really want to do another three or four years of postgraduate work right now."

Going with Addison's shift in topic, Grace observed, "you've been uncertain for a longtime." And she had. Grace was not so certain that she would want to tackle another four years after having just finished nine years to reach her doctorate, either.

"Yeah," Addy agreed. "I want to have a specialty but I just do not know."

"Could you take some time off from school and then go back?"

Addison could, but she wouldn't once she had a job, she would not leave.

Xxxxxx

Thanks for reading!