"Her mind ain't there half the time Mal, she's off somewhere else. Downright dangerous is what it is, almost got me killed this time."
The captain had that sour look on his face, the one he offered up when he'd grown tired of the conversation.
"But you're not dead are you Jayne, you're here, living, breathing and talkin,mores the pity, to me. So really, there ain't no harm done is there?"
Jayne sulked, "Yeah, well tell that to the shiny new lump on the back of ma head."
Mal smiled sweetly, "Come now, that thick head of yours can take a lot worse," his smile thinned, "And if you keep persisting with this, I've a mind to test it out."
Cobb clenched his jaw, he knew what came next, the 'I am the master of this ship' speech.
Pointing his thumb to his chest, Mal straightened himself up, "What I say goes. This is my boat and I say she stays, you have a problem with that, you're free to leave whenever you want." He turned, then paused, "Anyhow, River said that building would have stood if you hadn't followed her in. Let's just chalk this one up as a mutual calamity and put it behind us."
Figures. Should have known it would end up being his fault.
Mal always sided with the girl, he didn't know why he expected this time to be any different. He watched and ground his teeth as Reynolds climbed out of his quarters.
Maybe he would leave, that'd show em. Good luck tryin to look so gosh darn intimidatin with just a bunch of females to back you up.
He leaned back on his bunk, sliding his hand inside his pants as he always did before sleep. Jaynes head throbbed angrily and frustration gnawed at him; skipping last night's sleep had made him crotchety, it had also made him fierce tired, soon enough he was out for the count and snoring up a storm.
Something was irritating him, putting a kink in his long deserved slumber, forcing him to come round. An unexpected noise filtered through the black. He heard it again, this time louder, then felt something soft rebound off his head. Jayne opened and eye.
River stood on tip toes, clutching a balled up sock in both hands. She cleared her throat loudly.
"Hu-herrm." Her huge eyes looked down expectantly . With great reluctance he hauled himself up on his elbow and scowled.
"Good, you're awake." She chimed.
Cobb squinted at the girl, what in tarnation was she doing in his quarters?
"I wish to make a new barter."
Jayne wondered how long she'd been in his room. He looked around, hoping she hadn't been poking about in his private stuff; the thought of her creeping through the place, doing all sorts of lunatic business as he slept gave him cause to shudder. He realized she was waiting for an answer and tried to focus.
"What kind of barter?"
River smiled, "A lucrative one for you, if you choose to agree."
He eyed her suspiciously, this was bound to be a trick or some sort of scheme to get him in trouble. Curiosity got the better of him though, "Go on."
"I give you my share of this jobs profit."
Jayne calculated. Two shares of the hooch score was much better than one. They hadn't had a score for a long while, with hers as well, he could send a decent sum back to his ma.
What did she want for it though? He raised an eyebrow, "Go on."
"I propose we...I mean I..." She stuttered, "What I'm proposing is that...if you choose to agree... of course, agreeing would be pivotal to..."
He'd grown tired of her dithering. "Gorram it girl, spit it out already!"
His curt interruption snapped her into focus, her eyes fixed on his. "I want to sleep with you."
Jayne blinked.
"Pardon?"
He'd obviously heard her wrong.
River looked at him as though he was stupid, "It's beneficial to us both, you get paid and I get..."
He sat bolt upright, " Now hold on!" He floundered for the right words to say, then settled on, " I ain't ruttin with you!"
There was silence for a moment. River stood in suspended animation, mouth slightly open, eyebrows raised.
Jayne blundered on, " I got rules about sexin people who ain't... " he thought for a moment, what the doc call it again, compus manitis? corpus meantits? He shook his head, "Look, what I'm trying to say is, you ain't right in the head, and I don't poke scramble brained tail." He relaxed a little, "No offence."
She blinked at this and thought for a moment, "None taken. But what I was proposing was, sleep."
Cobb was confused.
River continued to explain, "You know, the closing of your eyes, periodic suspension of consciousness and relaxation of your muscles?"
Cobb was still confused.
She frowned, " Hit the sack, catch some zzzz, have forty winks?" An enthusiastic smile spread across her face, "Siesta!?"
Jaynes brain computed, he stood up and raised his hands, "Wait a minute. Are you saying you wanna sleep, with me?"
River sighed, pleased with the clarification, "Yes!"
"Sleep with me, here in ma bunk?"
She nodded.
What the hell did she want to sleep with him fur? Down right creepy.
He started to shake his head, "Nope," Jayne pointed to the hatch, "Go on, git back t' th Doc."
He weren't gonna play shut-eye with no psychopath.
"Aint'cha missin lurkin about the place, hidin in corners like some creepafied rag doll?" He huffed for good measure. "Go bother Kaylee or Innara." She stared back at him blankly. "I ain't innerested." Still weren't movin. "Look,I don't care what you do, just as long as you stay outta ma room, an away from me. OK?"
River cocked her head to one side, "I have more currency."
It was strange lying together again. Her head nestled against his chin, her small fingers splayed against his chest; she had insisted that he wrapped his arms around her, just like before. Her leg had somehow tangled itself around his, and she clung so close he felt like he might have to pry her off of him with a crowbar. He had the notion that he felt something, something he didn't even know he was capable of feelin. He felt cheap.
Maybe this weren't worth the payday after all.
She'd managed to negotiate several hours of 'sleep' with Jayne every night until they got back to Fredrick and the Belle. In return he would have her share of the loot, and a considerable amount she'd managed to squirrel away from previous heists.
It'd sounded tolerable enough when he'd considered the ample profit he'd make.
He weren't so sure about that now.
Jayne peered down at her head. Her soft raven hair was tickling at his neck, he did well and resisted the urge to reach up and yank it away from his skin.
Begrudgingly, he acknowledged that the rest of her felt pretty good against him though, lean, firm. She smelled real nice too. Jayne scrunched his eyes shut. Best keep them thoughts in check.
There was no good to come from thinkin about the brat that way.
She was a freak, too young, too different, too dangerous to be considered the way he considered other women. Of course his brain sometimes forgot it's self, random thoughts or notions about what it might be like snuck through time to time, after all, she weren't half bad to look at.
He remembered back to when they were stuck under that house. She'd been layin on top of him then, but it'd felt real different from now. Back then they were forced together by circumstance, but for some reason, all of a sudden ,she'd come looking for this, and him. He wondered why.
When he'd asked her why she'd wanted to lie down with him, before he'd accepted her deal, she'd said simply: 'to try to understand'. The girl wouldn't be drawn no more on the subject and he'd reluctantly let it pass.
Jayne didn't understand, that was for sure, but the pull of the money was too much of a temptation for the merc.
He hadn't considered the pitfalls of the situation up until now. This tete-a-tete was reckless, there'd be consequences for being caught with the girl on top of him again.
He smiled though, shamefully, as he recalled the look on Simon's face when he'd clapped eyes on them down in that broken building. A true picture of horror at the mere sight of a low down, knuckle draggin,no good, gutter thug, like him, being in such close proximity to his precious, darling, mei mei.
His smile faded as he recalled Mal's face, yeah, that weren't so funny. He'd given him that, y'all better have behaved look, like he didn't trust him to do anything decent by his own merit.
Well, this agreement weren't exactly wrong, but it was clear it weren't quite right either. The guilty feelin's nagging about him told him so.
Jayne never got the benefit of the doubt around here. If they got caught, Mal'd try to keel haul him again.
He wondered what Kaylee or Zoe might say. Innara spent most of her days lyin down for money, nobody seemed to judge her.
Th' verse just weren't a fair place for Jayne Cobb.
Reflection was cut short by a dainty finger tracing along his bicep. His eyes snapped open.
River slowly touched across his skin, drawing tiny circles against it.
His muscles tensed on reflex, straining, locking her in an iron embrace. He felt his throat dry up, the same way it had back in that rubble hole when she'd laughed and flattened herself to him. Her touch, this kind of touch was something peculiar, she'd only ever wailed on him before, cuttin on him, knocking him unconsious and the like. She'd done some serious damage to his dangly parts when she'd gone into that crazy killin trance a way back, he weren't use to being treated with such delicacy.
He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again.
Slowly she moved her hand along his arm, exploring, discovering, then across his chest and down over his ribs.
Jayne was just about to jump up, fling her off of him, when he heard, " The bible said, woman was made from the rib of man."
Cobb blinked, "Yeah?"
She continued, " Seems unrealistic to me."
He raised his eyebrows, " I guess so." Her hand had moved back up onto his chest to rest beside her head.
" I can hear your heart beating."
Jayne swallowed. This was starting to feel real uncomfortable.
"It sounds strong." She listened some more and giggled, " Faster and faster, the little drummer boy beat, sunlight in his hair, and bells on his feet!"
It definitely weren't worth the money.
"We wont get caught." She said in a gentle, clear voice. "I don't have bells on my feet."
There was quiet for a long while after that. Then Jayne, for reasons, mystifying to his very own self, moved his hand and softly cupped the back of her head.
Finally he relaxed, closing his eyes again.
The words ' we wont get caught' ran through his mind on loop.
We. That one word, sticking with him, causing a strange sense of satisfaction.
She'd come to him to understand something, not to her brother, not to Mal or Zoe, Kaylee or Innara. To him. She needed him for something, something that weren't breaking heads or humping goods around, he was useful to her, and he alone. And that filled his chest with a strange, curious sort of pride.
They lay locked together in silence, Jaynes mind whirring, pondering the excuses he could make if they were discovered. Nothing came to him though that sounded even remotely believable- we was just exercising? Talkin about guns? How about charades? ...No. He caught himself stroking her hair absently, and feeling mortified, quickly returned his hand to her waist. Best just lay still, try to sleep, he though.
After a while River lifted her head, he opened his eyes and saw her smiling up at him, " Progress has been made, man called Jayne."
She levered herself up and hopped down onto the floor.
Jayne sat up. "Right," he scratched the back of his head, "So, y'uh figured it out then?"
She frowned, " No, not at all." The smile sprang back to her lips, " But, I understand what I'm suppose to be understanding now."
Cobb stared at her; girl really was nutty.
"I'll come back tomorrow." She was already moving towards the door, her foot on the first rung, "Thank you." she said softly, then after a quick peek up through the hatch, she was gone.
"Yer welcome." Jayne said to the empty room, still utterly bewildered as to what he'd done exactly.
He just needed to endure four more 'sleeps' until payday. It weren't too bad, he thought, be much easier iff'n she didn't yammer on about the weird stuff. Jayne lay back down and closed his eyes.
The days on Serenity remained the same. Jayne ate, lifted weights, cleaned his guns and kept his distance from her. She in return spouted gibberish to anybody that'd listen and twirled around the place like a top.
Appearances were kept and no one suspected a thing, maybe that was because everyone else was too caught up in their own business. The taxing business of grief, lust and pride demanded full attention. Or maybe it was, simply, because the very idea of those two particular persons colluding, was a crazy one at best.
The second night she stroked his arm again and told him all about frogs, apparently she found them fascinating. He learned that they didn't drink water, they absorbed it through their skin.
Jayne imagined a soul feelin a mighty thirst, then just goin an standin in the rain, or stickin a finger under the tap. Clever, he though, free'd up yer mouth for some other useful stuff.
River clung to him again, and by the end of the visit, he'd relaxed enough to be able to appreciate how nice it felt having a body next to his.
The third night his hands played with her hair, twisting the silky lengths around his fingers as she listed all the different bones in her body. She made it into a song, gradually moving up until she hit Mandible. River moved her mouth open and shut like a dummy's, " Gottle of geer! Gottle of geer!" She chanted. Jayne frowned, "Try shuttin yer Mandable fur a bit, i'm tryin to git some sleep."
River smiled and dropped her head back to his chest.
She stayed quiet, and Jayne was glad for the mercy.
Peace at last.
All them funny soundin words, he couldn't recall any of em.
Hold on, weren't there one called Pubis? A big juvenile grin spread across his face as he drifted off to sleep.
He woke sometime later that night,alone and tucked up in a blanket.
The fourth night the girl didn't talk at all.
Lying there holdin her, Jayne found himself wishin for the distraction of her crazy babble. He was finding it hard to breathe all of a sudden.
He could breathe, but the process seemed, complicated.
With every breath, he felt her rise and fall against him. He knew his mind was gonna git to wanderin, and he didn't like to where.
He decided to ask her a question, get her talking, clear his senses.
Problem was findin something to talk about, weren't like they had anything in common.
Then it came to him: Violence. It was something they were both well versed in. Yeah, that'd do.
He started tentatively, "When you was fighting them Reavers..." Jayne paused, maybe he shouldn't be poking about in that particular business again, sometimes the girl came over real fragile for no reason.
Screw it. Wrappin the girl up in cotton wool all the time weren't good fur her, and honestly, he wanted to know.
"Was ya scared?"
There was no answer. Jayne worried he might have brought on one of her melt downs. If she went all catatonic like he'd have to get the Doc, an then he'd be humped.
He wet his lips, " I ain't ever been afraid of much, but Reavers..." he left the remainder of the sentence hanging, not wanting to finish it.
"Your afraid of me." River whispered.
Relief washed over him, she weren't in no crazy stupor. The comfort was short lived, Cobb scrunched up his face, her words filtering through to his brain.
"No, I ain't!" He protested, how dare she imply he was some kinda yeller belly.
"You should be." She replied casually, "I'm dangerous."
This conversation was starting to make him feel real uneasy. Was she threatening him? Jayne narrowed his eyes, he were'nt quite sure what she was getting at.
He talked to the top of her head, " What'n th' hell is that suppose to mean?"
She changed her tone, now it was more considered. " It means you shouldn't get attached to me. I wouldn't want you to get hurt, you know, being close might cause complications."
He was still baffled, "Y'all mean attached like holdin on to? Cause your th' one's stuck t'me like a dang lizard on a rock."
River tutted, " I mean have feelings for, doofus!"
His eyes widened, th' hell she mean, have feelings for? A chuckle burst from him, " Heck, I ain't got feelins fur ya!" The crazy things that ran through that girls head.
There was silence again.
Feelins, he thought to himself, well ain't that a hair brained notion!
She stayed for about another hour, then she gently lifted herself up and climbed out of his room without another word.
The fifth and final night, River didn't show.
When he'd seen her around Serenity earlier that day, he'd thought she'd looked off, quiet, n' more sullen than she usually did. He'd put that down to lady problems and pumped some more iron.
He waited three hours ,then made his way to her room. She weren't gonna stiff him outta his payday.
River lay on her bunk facing the wall with her legs tucked tight to her body. She looked like a tiny ball all curled up like that; must'a fallen asleep he supposed. Jayne wondered if he should leave, maybe this discussion could wait some.
"You'll still get paid."
He jumped when he heard her voice, that girl had eyes in the back of her head.
Gathering himself he frowned, " Came t' see yer all right is all?" The lie coming easy to his lips.
"All right is an unfamiliar concept."
He should have known he wouldn't get a simple answer. " I mean, that you ain't sick or nothin?"
She turned, sitting herself on the edge of her mattress. " I understand now."
Jayne looked her over, something was different. " Cracked it, huh?, what wuz the big puzzle anyhow?"
Her eyes, huge and almost black, held his gaze; a tear rolled down her cheek as she smiled sweetly. "Love."
Cobb got back to his bunk in ten seconds flat.
He stood in the middle of his room, uncertain of what to do. She didn't mean she was in love with him did she? Naww, he'd misunderstood. He swallowed awkwardly, he must have.
Jayne suddenly felt real stupid. All that lyin around together, wuz that what she was up to, workin up feelins? He didn't want that. He didn't want no understanding if understanding meant she'd go all gooey eyed on him. He cursed, sucking in a breath, letting it out slow.
Everything was gonna be OK, she'd forget all about it, an he'd still get paid.
Right?
What'n the verse had he got himself into.