Rubble Rayne chapter 4
Reverse psychology.
That's what Wash had called it.
Zoe had somehow convinced Jayne to eat a chilli pepper, chew it up, and swallow it. Raw.
He remembered thinking as his eyes began to stream with tears and his throat and tongue itched with hell fire, that somehow, it'd seemed like it had been his idea all along.
How had that even happened?
All she'd had to say to him was: " It weren't safe for a man like him, with such a delicate constitution, to try to eat it." And he was ramming that little red grenade in his mouth without hesitation.
Afterwards as Zoe sauntered off triumphantly and he sat at the galley table, chugging down water, a sweat breaking out on his lip, Walsh had put a consolatory hand on his shoulder, " You really shouldn't have made that remark about my wife's age."
Jayne choked out, "Gorram it! Why did'n ya stop me eatin it?"
He patted Cobb, " Oh, you big, foolish, sweaty man. Do you think I've managed to stay married to that, god like, woman for so long by curtailing her maniacal lust for revenge?" He didn't wait for an answer, "Of course not."
A look of pride crossed his face, "I'm her sidekick, or henchman if you will. My job is to hang back, sharpen implements, offer immoral support, rub her feet when she schemes. I provide the light relief, then bury the body's. I couldn't have stopped you eating that pepper, even if I'd wanted to."
He started to leave then paused at the door, " If it makes you feel any better, we've all been stung. I got rid of some pretty impressive lip fuzz, just because of one well delivered, post coital comment." He shook his head, "She said that she liked my facial hair and didn't care if some people thought it was 'over compensating' for something else." Wash got a wistful look in his eye, "I'd had that moustache since I was nineteen."
The pilot snapped back from his reminiscence and smiled, "The things we do for love."
Jayne had learnt a lot from that experience.
He'd learnt never to tease Zoe, or there would be repercussions. His long held understanding that love was for idiots who liked getting trod on was validated. Most importantly, he'd learnt that you could get people to do the damnedest things, with the right kind of persuasion.
It was all about words and manipulation.
In this case, it was as simple as telling the girl what she wanted to hear, but in a way that made it something she didn't want to hear any more. This was the back bone of his plan.
First he would declare his undying love for her. Then tell her that he loved her so much, that they should get married straight away. Follow that up quickly by saying that he wanted a huge family, enormous, thirty kids maybe and that they should get to birthing real soon, otherwise, she'd be too old and worn out by number twenty to finish the brood. Maybe he'd throw in some of that traditional stereotype, me man, you woman, clean house, dinner on table crap; that should put a wrinkle in her ardour. If that failed he didn't know what to do, it was an all or nothing, hold your breath and britches scheme.
Mal had called everyone to the galley to informed them that they would be taking on passengers.
He'd found three fares, in what was left of the Belle.
Jayne had managed to evade the girl up until now. He plucked up the courage to take a peek at her. She sat on the opposite side of the table, idly playing with the ends of her hair, watching the captain talk, her face expressionless.
Cobb kept praying that she wouldn't open her mouth and tell everyone their sordid secret. That was just like her, wait until everyone's assembled, then just blurt out something that nobody else wanted to know, or had any business knowing.
He ground his teeth, was Reynolds going to blabber on for ever?
Now that he had a plan he needed to put it into effect. Sooner the better.
"So they should be arrivin any time now." The captain was wrapping up, "I suggest we all head down to the cargo bay and make our new arrivals feel welcome."
Mal singled out the merc, " If there's any funny looks or right hooks today, I'll be mighty happy fillin your cabin with a paying customer." He turned his attention back to everyone else, " Now, try not to spook them." He looked pointedly at River, "at least try to wait until we're off the ground, OK?"
Crazy smiled and stood up.
"Not a word." She said, then mimed locking her mouth shut with a tiny lock and key.
The girl looked pointedly at Cobb, then twirled around humming sweetly as she headed of towards the cargo bay.
Jaynes heart hammered. He needed to resolve this quick.
The three fares were a varied bunch.
The first were a young couple. The woman was expecting a baby, soon, judging by the size of her stomach. The man fussed around her endlessly. Jayne pegged them as a bunch of newly-wed hicks. They seemed a bit guileless to have been hanging around the Belle, it's clientèle generally weren't so winsome.
The second was an old lady who dressed like a low price whore and was as deaf as a post. She jangled when she walked and smelled like peppermint. Everybody was greeted with a warm hearted smile and a gravelly, "Charmed, I'm sure."
The third was a more familiar face, it took Jayne a moment to place it.
Of course, the young pretender that had challenged Zoe to an arm wrestle. He smiled cheekily when he spotted her and she groaned in response.
"Well ma'am looks like we might get to finish that arm wrestle after all." He winked brazenly.
Zoe glowered at Mal.
Jayne noticed that River was by herself, stood a little away from everyone, keeping quiet, as requested by the captain.
Cobb swallowed, he weren't going to get a better opportunity than this.
Doubts suddenly overwhelmed him.
Maybe planning weren't his forte.
It'd seemed like a good idea in his head, now as he plucked up the courage to put his plan into action, it seemed completely ludicrous.
Well, it was the only one he had, so best just get on with it.
Jayne moved towards the girl. She watched with keen interest as the passengers arrived, paying no attention to Cobb as he took his place next to her and folded his arms. Glancing around and feeling confident that no one was observing, he took a deep breath and began, "Look, I've been thinkin..."
"Lust." She said abruptly, cutting over his well rehearsed speech.
Jaynes train of thought was derailed. He contemplated aborting, cutting his losses and trying again another time when she was less...well, River.
Her eyes remained on the new faces alighting the ship, scanning, taking in all the information she could find. She offered no more explanation.
Curiosity won out, " What d'yu mean, lust?"
He followed her gaze, she was watching the young man who had challenged Zoe to an arm wrestle. He was busy strapping a large crate down, securing it for transport. " It's confusing." She said, turning to look at Cobb, " I think my heart lied. "
The merc frowned. What was she getting at?
"I don't believe I love you anymore." She pronounced with vacant eyes, turning her attention back towards the new arrival.
Jayne blinked. Well, that was good.
Better than good. "OK." He managed. Now, how could he capitalize on this.
His mind started whirring, "Err, yeah, that's mighty dissapointin." He lied, adopting a new wounded stance. "Mighty dissapointin."
The merc was having trouble stifling a grin, he checked himself, this could all work out perfectly, if he could just hold it together.
"Maybe we should keep this whole business between ourselves." He put on a woe-begotten expression, " I'd be real mortified if everyone knew I'd been dumped."
He shook his head feigning distress and took a sneaky look at her. He needed something else.
"People might even take it against you, you know being all heartless and the like, messin with a fellers feelins."
Yes that was more like it, now to tidy up those loose ends, " So let's just forget any of this ever happened." leaning in closer, "Never mention it again."
He hastened to add, "For both our sakes." He looked at her hopefully, "Agreed?"
There was silence for a moment, before River nodded her head once, "Agreed."
As she wandered off to find a better view point of the passengers Jayne exhaled, relief washed over him in a euphoric wave.
"Thank you lord." He mused happily, turning to head back to his bunk. He had a lot of sleeping to catch up on.
They were under way, floating in the black once more.
Lying in his bed, eyes closed, a thin blanket rolled around him, the merc tried in vain to fall asleep.
He didn't normally have this problem. Usually as soon as his head hit the pillow he was out for the count, Jayne couldn't understand; his predicament had been rectified, yet here he was, painfully awake.
He could hear chatter and laughter coming from the galley, no doubt everyone was getting to know the new guests. Cobb tossed his blanket aside and slipped his feet back into his boots. Well, if he couldn't sleep, he might as well join them.
The old lady had taken a seat in the middle of the table, she smiled and nodded at everyone as she sipped a steaming hot cup of peppermint tea. Her eyes were kind and they twinkled as she feigned interest in the conversation, most of which she couldn't hear anyway and frankly, didn't care to hear.
The arm wrestle guy was holding court. He hooted and joked with everyone, constantly asking questions and telling tall tales. The boy hardly took a breath.
Absent from the party were the young couple who had chosen to stay in their bunk, no doubt making the most of some precious quiet time before the new arrival and River who was still on the bridge, plotting their course.
Jayne took stock of the boy: Early twenties. Built, but nothing close to him. Nearly as tall as he was though, with a mop of stupid sandy coloured hair that flopped about his face as he talked. It was too long for Cobbs liking, the kid kept shoving it out of his eyes, raking it back with his hand. The eyes were hazel and over familiar, while his smile was too big and easily provoked to be comfortable around.
Sure, he thought, if you like that clean cut wholesome look he could be considered attractive, handsome even.
He noticed the boy couldn't muster even a shadow of stubble. For some reason, this pleased Jayne.
Clearly, there was something about the youngster that irked him. He was considering this when the boy turned his way.
"My, they make em big where you come from huh."
Jayne narrowed his eyes.
The kid held up his hands, "Now friend, I didn't mean no offence." That smile again, " Those weights down in the cargo bay yours?"
Cobb nodded suspiciously, "Yeah."
"Maybe I could spot ya sometime. I like to lift the lead too, from time to time."
Jayne felt Mal's eyes on him and he forced a smile, "Sure." He nodded.
"Great! Well, we ain't been introduced properly yet have we. M' names Augustus." He moved over to the merc and extended a hand.
After an uncomfortable pause he took it, "Jayne." He replied, squeezing the boys hand a little harder than was necessary.
The kids smile never wavered, "Well all right." Cobb felt Augustus' grip match his own briefly before he released the pressure and retracted his hand. "I can see you an me are going to get along fine, compadre."
Jayne was unsure if the sentiment was genuine or not, the boy was hard to read.
Before he could ponder on it any longer, the old lady appeared by his side, " Did you say your name was Jane?" she rasped at him, "My mothers name was Jane!"
She smiled sweetly and the anger he felt, because of the sniggers and backhanded grins of his crew mates, faded away as she patted his arm. He'd always had a soft spot for old lady's.
"She was an amazing woman." she sighed, " was still performing her cabaret show well into her nineties. A true, trouper."
The room had grown hushed now, the mirth giving way to curiosity.
Kaylees inquisitive mind could stand it no longer, "What exactly did your mother do, in her show?"
The old woman turned to face her, "Pardon deary?"
"Your Ma," She said raising her voice, "What was her show about?"
"I'll show you." She said moving back to her place at the table, reaching down to retrieve a large carpet bag from under her seat.
Apprehension crossed Mals face, "Look Millicent, I ain't sure we're that kind of boat."
Ignoring his concern, or failing to hear it, she rifled through her belongings, "Ah, there you are!" She said fondly.
The old lady pulled her hands from her bag to reveal two beautiful old silver revolvers.
Before anyone could react, she had started to spin them, flipping them left and right, rolling them around her hands, tossing them and catching them seamlessly.
Everyone stared in disbelief.
"It runs in the family," She said, still twirling happily, "All the women seem to have a natural ability, we can shoot the fleas of a dogs back from two hundred yards." She cackled.
Zoe smiled at the captain, "I believe I'm beginning to love this lady."
Millicent finished by twirling her guns faster and faster around her withered old hands, then as steady and as swiftly as you like, she pulled them up to bear, straight ahead, at an imaginary target.
Augustus, woo hoo'd, clapping his hands vigorously. The rest of the crew, delighted, joined in. Jayne, who was mighty impressed himself, grinned and placed his fingers to his mouth to whistle his approval.
Just as the hoopla was dying down, River entered. She looked about excitedly, "What did I miss?"
She brushed past Cobb, almost as if he weren't there. Still, he felt uneasy, having her so close, especially in front of everyone else.
The boy stepped forward, his face less jovial, nervous suddenly, "Hi," he said softly, extending his hand, "My names Augustus."
River repeated the name, "Augustus." Her eyes drifting off to the ceiling as she delved into her brain, "Latin, meaning: great, venerable,"
Her eyes lowered to his as she took his hand, "Magnificent." A lightning bolt smile spread across her face, which was warmly reciprocated by the kid.
There was silence as everyone, curiously, watched the exchange.
They stood obliviously holding each others hands, staring and smiling at each other.
Jayne found himself blurting out, "That's River. Don't pay her no mind, she says crazy stuff like that all the time."
He had no idea where that had come from, or why he felt the need to expedite this strange introduction of theirs.
"River." Augustus repeated carefully, as he continued to hold on tightly to her.
Cobb frowned, what'n the hell was wrong with the boy? He'd gone all unnatural like.
Just as he was about to comment that he was about to squeeze the dang girls hand off, if he didn't let her loose soon, Simon stood up and cleared his throat.
"Mei Mei, come meet our other guest." He motioned towards the old lady, "This is Millicent."
River reluctantly let go and moved closer to greet the woman, "Hello." she smiled.
Milli was busy stuffing her guns back into her bag, she looked up warmly " Pleased to meet you." She said as she fastened it shut, then placing her hands on her hips, she looked her up and down, "My, aren't you the most darling looking little thing, those eyes!"
"You smell like peppermint." River responded. Which provoked a cackling laugh and wheeze from the old dear, " That I do," she replied, "My, you're a breath of fresh air, aren't you."
Jayne glanced over to the boy. It was the first time he'd shut up since Cobb had met him, he stood intently, looking at crazy, like she was some kind of grand prize.
Something lurched in his stomach as realization dawned. The kid liked her.
"Well, I don't know about you folk," Mal began, " But I'm plum tuckered out."He stood up, "Real nice havin you people aboard, you're free to roam on my ship but I'd ask you kindly to stay clear of the bridge and the engine room." He made towards his cabin, "G'night folks."
Inara left shortly afterwards, followed by Zoe who squeezed Cobbs shoulder as she passed by, "Try not to let the kid get under your skin too much." She whispered as she ducked out.
Millicent retired next and it wasn't long before Kaylee was giving the doc a pointed look, beckoning him to her bunk.
That left him alone with the boy and little miss loopy.
Conversation had dried up.
Jayne looked at them both as they stared at each other, smiling coyly, and narrowed his eyes. What exactly was going on here?
Floppy hair eventually broke the silence, "So, you fly this ship huh?"
River nodded.
"I reckon you must be the prettiest pilot I've ever seen." The boy continued brazenly.
Cobb groaned, surely the girl wasn't gonna fall for that terrible line.
Crazy lowered her gaze, fluttering her long lashes, a pink tinge blossoming on her cheeks.
Really?
She was suppose to be some kind of genius weren't she, so how come she was hanging off every stupid word that came out of that dummies mouth?
They continued to smile awkwardly at each other.
Jayne had started to feel mighty tired, but there was no chance in hell he was gonna leave 'magnificent' Augustus alone with the girl. There was something about the boy that he just didn't trust.
Suddenly, he had an idea, "What's in that big crate of yours?" He asked.
Augustus's smile flickered momentarily, he turned to look at the merc, "Like I told your captain, it's just foodstuffs."
"Hmmm," Cobb had struck a nerve, "You were strappin it down real careful like, for just foodstuffs"
The kids eyes grew hard, "Well, what can I say. Guess I just like doing a job right."
They stared at each other for a moment, testing the water, before the youngster suddenly got to his feet. He turned to look at River, " Think I might turn in," He said, " I'm mighty pleased to have met you miss. I'd be real happy if you'd find the time to have breakfast with me tomorrow."
"It's quite impossible," She replied, a frown wrinkling her brow, "to 'find' time," Then changing to a whisper and raising her hand to her face, as though sharing a secret,"Time is invisible."
Brilliant, that should put him off, thought Jayne.
Agustus blinked, then broke into a laugh. " Millicent was right, You really are a breath of fresh air."
They smiled at each other again, until Cobb, annoyed, interrupted with a pithy, " Good night Gusty."
Reluctantly turning from the girl and adopting a dry expression, he nodded the mercs way, "Goodnight Jayne."
He took one last, longing glance at River, then headed off towards the passengers quarters.
Cobb watched him go, a satisfied smirk spreading across his face.
He was enjoying this little victory a bit too much, it took him a while to realize that crazy was staring at him from across the table.
Hmm, that weren't no friendly look she was giving him.
"What?" He said, standing up. He always felt uncomfortable when she pinned him with those big doe eyes of hers.
River didn't say a word, but continued to bore holes into him with her glare.
Jayne moved over to the coffee pot to refill his cup, eager to escape her scowl.
"Th' boy needed to hit th' sack." He protested as he poured. "Ain't ma fault."
He turned to find the girl stood right beside him, she'd moved, silently into place, causing him to jump and curse, spilling his drink.
"Tzao goa!" He steadied his hand, saving what was left in his mug from tipping down his front. "Why ya always got to be creepin about the place like that?"
Rivers hand shot out, knocking his drink clean out of his grip, sending it clattering to the floor. Her eyes shone with anger, "Fathead!"
Jayne stood stupefied, before his own anger ignited, propelling him into action. He shoved the girl, " Who you callin fathead, freak?"
She moved closer, "You, you idiot." she replied and proceeded to stamp heavily on his foot.
It hadn't hurt that much, but Cobb saw red. He made a grab for her and she twisted away from him with ease. Her hand shot out and wrapped around his fingers, she yanked them back pulling his hand behind his back, raising it so that the merc had no option but to kneel to the weight, or snap a few bones.
"Let go." He demanded, a sharp pain shooting up his left arm.
River stood over him, a look of amusement on her face. " Say you're a fathead." she giggled.
Jayne growled, " Don't try me girl."
He felt her apply more pressure and the burning, tearing, pain intensified.
"OK," He spat, A'm a fathead."
Instantly she released him, stepping away and heading off towards her bunk.
Cobb got to his feet and rubbed his hand. His face set in an ugly mask of rage, he threw himself after her.
River turned as he neared her, but not quick enough.
Jayne barrelled into the girl shoving her against the wall. His hands grabbed a hold of her wrists pining her, preventing her from doing him any more damage.
She struggled and he rammed her back against the steel. His face hovered over hers, glaring down at her furiously.
"Who's th' idiot now?" He asked triumphantly, and was delighted when he saw her clench her jaw in temper.
He looked at the girl long and hard, he wanted to remember this, the first time he'd gotten the better of her.
"Pea brain." She snorted.
Jayne seethed, that sass of hers was going to spoil this for him.
"Mouth-breather." This time accompanied by a condescending grin.
She'd just opened her mouth to deliver another barb when something snapped inside him.
Cobb, angrily forced his lips down onto hers, stifling her words.
All the fury and frustration poured out of him, his grip around her wrists tightened and he thrust himself forward, his body engulfing her tiny frame. With punishing ferocity, he pressed his mouth to hers, demanding the respect he deserved.
He felt the muffled insult die, victorious and elated he kissed her hard.
After a short while, to his surprise, River submitted. She opened her mouth, allowing him access.
Jayne let loose his tongue, attacking, devouring her. He needed to show her. She shouldn't be testing a guy like him.
Slowly, the hostility ebbed from him.
The kiss changed, calming down, becoming less forceful. He found himself lost in the act of exploring her mouth, brushing his lips tenderly against hers, then driving them open to delve inside. The softness, and delicacy of the girl almost overwhelmed him. His hands released their grip on her wrists and moved to lace through her hair.
She started kissing him back then, timidly at first, before gaining more confidence, nipping at his lips.
Girl learns quick, Cobb thought.
And then it struck him, the reality of what he was doing. He tore himself away from her.
River opened her eyes. She reached a shaking hand to her, pink, swollen lips. Touching an injury, she inspected the blood on her fingers and smiled, "Copper for a kiss." She whispered.
Jayne paled, "Gorram it!" he cursed.
They stood looking at each other, Cobb terrified and the girl curiously amused.
What had he done?
He didn't have the excuse of being pie eyed drunk this time.
"A'm sorry." He said finally, shaking his head.
Crazy smiled and turned to head off to bed, "No you're not." She replied as she walked down the corridor and out of sight.
The mercs mouth tingled and he swallowed hard, shaken by his lack of control.
He couldn't remember the last time he'd kissed a woman's lips. Jayne had rules about that sort of thing.
"Gorram it." He cursed again, clenching his fists and closing his eyes.
Taking a large steadying breath he gathered his senses. It don't matter none, he told himself.
She'd said she didn't love him anymore, that was the main thing and if (heaven forbid) he'd changed her opinion, Cobb would happily knock himself unconscious before he'd ever, touch her again.
He dragged himself back to his bunk and lay face down on the bed.
Every time he closed his eyes, they'd snap open again. Thoughts jumbled around his brain, tormenting him and his lips, tender and inflamed, kept drawing his mind back to the moment he'd dropped his mouth to hers.
Jayne had a sudden revelation, she'd been right.
As she always was.
He wasn't sorry.