"All right you horrible lot, into the minibus!" Mike hollered, sparking an onslaught of young people rushing down the stairs and nearly running him over on the way out of the front door. "Charming," he commented mock sarcastically after he picked a swimming bag up off the floor and handed it to its owner, receiving no thanks in return for his efforts. Nevertheless, he grinned and waved bye to May-Li, calling out an estimated time of return to her as he headed for the door.
"Have fun!" May-Li exclaimed, clearly looking forward to the peace and quiet.
Rifling through the filing cabinet, she smiled at Jody who'd witnessed the entire exchange somewhat nervously from Mike's seat in the office as she awaited the arrival of her brother. In the end, she'd almost finally made her mind up to see him when the call of nature, that dreaded monthly disturbance she hated with a passion, made itself known to her the prior morning and provided her with an excuse to quell her pride if anything should go wrong: she hadn't given up swimming for him, she'd had to forgo it anyway because of the God-awful cramps. She fidgeted in the swivel chair, listening to May-Li prattle on about something when she realised she was being asked something.
"Err, yeah?" she prompted, totally clueless as to what'd just been said.
May-Li merely smiled sympathetically, closing the top drawer of the filing cabinet and sitting down in her own seat across from Jody's (Mike's). "I was asking if you wanted to make your brother some tea while you're waiting."
"He doesn't like tea," she stated, continuing to fidget. When she'd still lived at home, Luke had never taken tea or coffee, preferring water (though she was sure it was alcohol these days), but Kingsley had been a coffee-addict, drinking it four to fives times a day, every day. She hadn't understood why at the time, being only eight, but now she was pretty sure he'd done it because he needed the energy to go on his late-night burgling stints. "Where would I put the tray, anyway?"
"Oh, you don't have to talk to him in here," May-Li said distractedly, clicking her mouse. "The two of you can go into the quiet room. He's not someone you can only see on contact so I don't have to supervise you."
"Oh," Jody let out, having forgotten how it all worked. She hadn't had a visitor, on contact or otherwise, in years (her mother's 'apology' visit notwithstanding). "Yeah, I guess I'll do that." She stopped messing around in the chair, looking over at May-Li. "Can I go and wait in there? Being in here makes me feel like I'm in trouble or something."
"Yeah, of course," May-Li responded with a laugh, tipping her head towards the connecting door between the office and quiet room.
Rising to her feet, Jody practically ran into the quiet room, sighing in relief as her anxiety dropped down a notch or two. It wasn't completely gone, of course, only Luke's arrival could make or break that, but just being in the room gave her a sense of pleasant anticipation; this was the room countless couples had made the life-changing decision to foster or adopt one of the residents, the most recent being Archie. In other words, good things happened here and she had no reason to believe that she'd be the first to break that streak. She sat down on the sofa closest to the door, taking her phone out of her pocket (it'd beeped earlier) and reading her most recent message.
Good luck x
She quickly wrote a response; he'd sent the message half an hour ago. Thanks, I'll need it x
The transition from being someone's friend to being his girlfriend was a foreign one but after a week of semi-awkward gym hang-outs followed by cute Snaps and sweet, well-worded WhatsApp messages, she found that she could get used to it. She wanted to, even. Having someone she could call her own - not a friend she had to share with others, a care-worker whose attention constantly had to be divided thirteen ways, or a brother she had to wrest away from his girlfriend - was an incredibly novel experience. He was a friend to loads of other teens, a son to two loving parents, but he was boyfriend only to her. A niggling voice in the back of her head reminded her that there was someone else who was best friend only to her but she ignored it; she wanted to be happy today, not upset.
She exhaled deeply, glancing at the time. Luke was cutting it awfully close.
.:. QK .:.
"Jody?"
Said girl looked up from her lap, having hung her head in defeat when Luke hadn't shown at the designated time, and twisted around to see May-Li showing her wayward brother in, nearly fifteen minutes late. She stared at him for a moment as May-Li made herself scarce, taking in his appearance: the smart-casual get-up, the styled hair, and the apologetic expression on his face. God, how long had it been since she'd last seen him? Two, three months, going on four? He looked like a completely different person.
"Hey, sis," he greeted meekly, spookily reminding her of their brother. That was an image she didn't need, especially because Kingsley was the one who used to walk around in fancy clothes, trying to be what he wasn't - Luke had always been a tracksuit and jeans sort of boy.
"Hi," she responded, remaining seated. Hugging him after everything that had gone down between them didn't sit right with her. She hadn't even hugged him at the funeral, one of the most emotional events of her (and maybe his) life. Besides, she was unimpressed by his tardiness. "Sit down."
He did as she told him, sitting on the sofa opposite her. "Sorry, about being late," he started sheepishly, "I got held up by... something."
"Something important, I hope," she said, narrowing her eyes at him. She wouldn't be surprised if his girlfriend was the reason behind his being late. Still, he had eventually made it so that was something.
"Yeah; I've been looking around for a new place," he replied off-handedly. "It's hard finding something affordable. I can't get a proper job until I get my results."
"Are you moving here?" she asked quietly, unable to stop herself from frowning. "Is that why you wanted to meet up? Because you were coming here anyway?"
It would make sense. After all, why would he suddenly want to see her after months of no contact? It was probably the reason he'd dropped by at the cemetery as well; not because he'd wanted to but because it was on the way to one of the properties he was looking at.
"No!" he protested hastily, holding a hand up. "I mean, yeah, I'm looking to move back here for now but it's not why I came here today." He dropped his hand, his features softening. "I came to Pottiswood today to see you."
She wasn't about to be fooled so easily by his sweet words. One brother had already duped her like that. "Simon told me you wanted a chance to explain yourself," she told him, crossing her arms. "Go on, then."
He took a deep breath, clasping his hands together. "Okay..." he trailed off, nodding. "When I went off to uni, it was like a chance to start all over again, a shot at a new life. I can't exactly describe it - you'll understand what I mean when it's your turn, I guess - but when I made new friends there, I didn't want them to find out about my past, especially my time in juvie. They're all from normal or even good backgrounds, Jodes." She raised an eyebrow at the nickname; only her friends could use that. "They wouldn't have understood why I did what I did, even if I'd told them that Mum and Kingsley dragged me into it."
"So you erased our family?"
"Not exactly. I managed to dodge questions about our family that first year and everything went well. It wasn't until summer rolled round and you told me what Kingsley had done to you that I decided enough was enough. I made my mind up to erase him then and there but when I found out he was in prison again a few months later, I lost it. I called Mum up and confronted her about the way she'd raised him but she turned around on me and called me a bad son for not coming back to see her in the summer. I told her that I couldn't come back because I was working a summer job which was true. I needed the money. I wasn't burgling her house to make money off her like Kingsley had done. But she wouldn't admit that Kingsley turned out the way he did cos of his upbringing; she said he got it from Dad."
Dad? She pulled at her sleeve, recalling her run-in with their father at the supermarket all those months ago. It was irrelevant now, she supposed, since she'd decided she didn't want or need such a father in her life but what if Luke did? Would withholding the information be wrong? What information, though? She didn't know for sure that Gray lived in Pottiswood; he could've just been in the area that day on some sort of visit or stopover. She didn't want to get his hopes up for no reason.
"I erased Mum," Luke continued sadly, looking down, seemingly oblivious to her discomfort. "I was ashamed of her. The next time my mates asked about my family, I told them that Mum was dead, and I didn't mention having a brother."
"But you erased me as well," she said dryly, all of her old insecurities about being unwanted by her family rising to the surface. She felt like a freshly abandoned eight-year-old girl all over again.
"I'm sorry," he apologised morosely, his eyes still fixed on the coffee table in between them. "I couldn't mention you at first because then I would've had to tell them you were in care and why."
"Because I'm an embarrassing little secret?" she questioned, her heart plummeting. "Shameful?"
"No," he denied immediately, his head snapping up as his eyes met hers. "Not you," he stated firmly, his eyes blazing. "Mum was the shameful one, the embarrassing one. It's not your fault you're in care. I guess I could've told them you were in care after telling them that Mum was dead but then they would've asked why you weren't being looked after by Dad instead. And I didn't want to talk about him because what he did was even more embarrassing."
Embarrassing? Hardly. It was much more common, and thus less embarrassing, than being in care. Johnny and Tee's dad had walked out. Ryan and Chloe's. Sasha and Dexter's. Ella's had, with her mother's full approval, voluntarily given her up to social services. "Lots of dads walk out, Luke. It's normal up here."
"That's not what I meant," he said, shaking his head, "but, anyway, I didn't mean to shut you out of my life. I was always going to tell them about you after you left care."
"Luke!" she exclaimed, irritated. Her fifteenth birthday was still two months away. Was he so out of touch with her that he'd forgotten how old she was? "That's years away!"
His eyebrows knotted together in confusion. "Aren't you leaving care at sixteen?"
"Huh!" she let out in disbelief. "And going where?! Even you're struggling to find a place and you're twenty-one!" He blinked, appearing to be totally flummoxed. "We can stay here until we turn eighteen." Okay, so Carmen and Tee had been allocated a place by the council, and apparently, all local councils had to support care leavers until they were twenty-five but that was beside the point.
"Oh, I didn't know that." Clearly. She refrained from rolling her eyes.
"I guess I get why you cut Mum and Kingsley off," she admitted softly, remembering how she'd also severed their family ties. While his way of putting their family behind him was over-dramatic and dishonest, it was still the same principle. Kinda. She could forgive him for not telling his mates about her but deleting her number was a different story. "But you should've fessed up about me when you started dating your girlfriend. I just don't get why you continued to hide the truth."
"Millie's... difficult," he confessed, wincing. "She flips out over small things." Like her, Jody realised, and like their mother. People always said that women were attracted to men who were like their fathers, though she was certain Ty- Brandon was nothing like Gray. Did it work the same way with mothers and sons? "I've known her since the beginning of uni but we didn't start going out until this year. She would've, I don't know, got angry about me not telling her in the first place."
"She wouldn't be wrong," she muttered coldly. Really, Luke still could've told his mates about her existence at the beginning without revealing that she was in care. It wasn't as if his mates would want to come down to Pottiswood to see where she (or any of Luke's other family members, for that matter) lived. "Why does she read your texts anyway? Why haven't you got a lock on your phone?" Even Taz had a lock on her phone, though Mike and May-Li weren't particularly happy about it.
"I have got a lock but I unlock it for her," he answered pathetically, shrugging his shoulders. "She says I must be hiding something if I don't let her read them. You see why I had to delete your number, now?"
"No, not really!" she blurted out, shocked by how controlling this Millie bitch sounded. Could he not see that she was basically a younger version of Denise? She shook her head, sighing. "Man up, Luke! She's bad news!" She knew he'd always been a bit spineless and easy to push around - Kingsley was constantly ordering him around, making him do his dirty work for him for as long as she could remember - but she thought he would've grown out of it by now.
"She's not that bad," he protested weakly, straightening his back. "And she loves me. That's not easy to find."
She blinked, his words striking her right where it hurt for some reason. Love. She hated thinking about it and had no reason to; people her age didn't love their boyfriends/girlfriends, and most teenage relationships went nowhere... but Luke was twenty-one. A grown man. He probably needed a girlfriend - he had never lasted long without female advice - to get through life in a way that other, more independent people didn't, but not one like Millie.
"Luke, you can do better," she insisted, almost pleadingly. "She doesn't sound right for you."
"Jody, please," he interjected seriously. "You're too young to understand all this." She wanted to stand up and tell him that, for his information, she had a boyfriend and therefore did understand such things, but ultimately kept her mouth shut. A relationship between a fourteen- and fifteen-year-old was not the same as one between two people who were in their early twenties.
"Fine," she reluctantly gave in averting her gaze away from him. "When are you going to tell her about me?"
"After we get a place."
"I'm sorry," she snapped, after a pause, "did you just say we?"
He looked taken aback by her sudden hostility. "Err, yeah. Me and Millie." She nearly laughed. He was totally ruining his life and he couldn't even see it. It was ironic that he'd cut the toxic Jacksons out of his life only to go off with the equally, or even more so, venomous Millie instead. Seemingly realising he was in hot water with her, he asked, "Do you want me to leave?"
"I think we're done for today," she responded matter-of-factly, meeting his now-hopeful eyes again.
"For today?" he repeated optimistically, leaning forward. "So there'll be another time?"
"Yeah," she replied, nodding slowly. "Maybe only after you tell Millie and your other mates the truth, though," she added, making him frown a little. "I don't like feeling like some sort of dirty secret."
"I understand," he assured, standing up and stretching. She stayed rooted to her seat, even as he looked expectantly at her. It was still too soon for a hug. "Right," he mumbled, appearing to understand how this was going to work. "I'll be off, then."
As he walked to the connecting door, she stood up and called out his name, suddenly recalling the mystery man at the cemetery. For her own safety and his, she had to know that this wasn't some thug who was going to try to get revenge against Kingsley by using them the way Faith's brother's ex-gang had tried to use Faith to get to him. Not that Kingsley would give a shit about either of them being harmed because of him.
"Yeah?" he prompted, turning around to face her with his hand resting on the door handle.
"Do you know anyone who'd visit Mum's grave other than us?" she inquired, "and Kingsley."
"No," he answered, appearing to be totally clueless. "But her neighbour did tell me that she was seeing someone like a week before she died." Grant. It definitely hadn't been him, though. There was no way he'd even know that she was dead. "Why, is something wrong?"
"Someone left flowers at her grave. Someone who wasn't me or you."
He bit his lip. "There's only one other guy I can think of," he told her, squinting, "but it wouldn't be him; he left all of us behind ages ago." She froze, the memories of the supermarket run-in coming to the fore of her mind. "I'll see you later."
"Yeah, see you," she called back distractedly, letting herself drop back onto the sofa as he left the room.
Why hadn't she made this connection before, especially since the man had allegedly asked after Denise's children? His own children, perhaps... Now that Luke had put the idea in her mind, she couldn't shake it off. She knew it made no sense for a man who'd walked out on his kids years ago to suddenly come back looking but what other explanation could there be? Surely, Gray's appearance in a Pottiswood supermarket and the appearance of a man looking for Denise's children at the cemetery couldn't be a mere coincidence?
A/N: I was going to have Luke reveal that he was on a date with his girlfriend at the same restaurant as Jody and Brandon in the previous chapter and had therefore seen her but decided against it. It felt too manufactured. Thanks to CharlieSMarts12 for the review :)