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Just as Gav had been dragged away from the man he was fighting and they both taken away from the restaurant by a guard and staff I had just sat back down, I, Cam and Jackie had planned to dance but now I didn't feel like it anymore.

"Do you want to wait?" Cam asked me, stroking my shoulder. "And maybe get another chance to talk to him." I sighed, then shook my head. "Do you need something to drink?" I shook my head again. "A glass of water or anything?"

"Tracy? Is there anything at all we can do for you?"

"I…." With a deep sigh I stood up and reached for the basket of things they'd given me. "…I think I'd just like to go home."

Well, sure my parent(s) would always find a way to destroy things for me one way or the other.

"I can carry that one." Jackie took the basket. "Well… I suppose we don't have to ask who that man was. He made it quite clear himself while fighting with that man… Is that really your father?" I nodded. "Did you… I mean have you… did he…"

"Somehow my mum found an invitation to the wedding. And when she came over to mine she brought my dad. His name is Gavin Johnson. He's from America. And I have two half-brothers named Trevor and Tristan. Trevor is about nine years older than me. And Tristan about two years older. They came here to see me when I was a newborn… That's all I know."

"Have you ever heard anything from him before?" Jackie asked. "I mean… not since you were a baby."

"I haven't heard a thing."

Quite soon we were back at my flat, how I made it into the house and up the stairs I wasn't quite sure. But I was sure of that the flat would be empty except for me for probably a couple of more hours at least.

"Do you want us to stay?"

Yes, Jackie. I'd really like you to stay so I don't have to feel so alone after everything that's happened.

"You don't have to."

I'm actually very afraid Gav, or anyone else will turn up on the porch.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, Cam. I think I'll just go to bed anyway."

"I'll see you for the wedding." Jackie raised her hand in a wave. "By the time Crash is with us two. The three musketeers all together again." I forced a smile and nodded "Bye."

"Yeah." Cam gave me a hug. "Here's for all nights in the past and the future. I hope they'll be better than this one." I nodded again. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" I smiled again for answer and she left. Once I heard the door downstairs close behind them I took a glass of water and sat down by the table, as if I could concentrate on that I took the basket of things I'd been given, forced myself to laugh of the reason Jackie had gotten me running shoes and riffled in the book of recipes and…

Didn't look up much until I heard the door unlock and Seth came in. And right before him walked…

"Gav?"

"I can go if you want to." Gav didn't slur or sway where he stood so I almost wondered if I really had seen and spoke to him earlier today. "I can walk out of your life and never come back…"

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself." Seth told him angrily. "Tell him what you told me. Or I'll kick you right out of my house."

Gav sighed, there was a bruise over his eye. He might get a black eye after tonight.

"I have made a lot of mistakes Tracy." He coughed and silent again. "I didn't mean to make it about me, earlier or now. I could just tell you that. Not more, and walk away. Or I could tell you more and… about them…" He finally looked up from the floor and into my eyes. "I never wanted to leave you, if I'd known what Carly was like I wouldn't have… but I thought she was a good mother. I did."

"We can leave that…" I said shakily. "…Start from the beginning. Please."

I showed him into the kitchen and got another glass of water from a cupboard, I showed Seth to leave the room- this was on my own and Gav's business and sitting down and pushing the glass over the table I crossed my arms over my chest and demanded.

"Speak!"

"Thank you." He had drunk from the water and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "I just wanted to tell you. And now, before you get married. Maybe you'll even have a kid or two… Please don't make any mistake like the ones I've made."

"Like what?"

"Like cheating, like leaving your child in the hands off someone else time and time again, like going unemployed and without money." He sighed. "I know you can hear I'm not from England- I'm from New York. And back there I had a wife, Marie. And two sons, Trevor seven years older than Tristan. We had problems like all couples do. And we had a fight, right before I had to go here for work. I was still angry when I came here, I went to the bar and had a bit too much to drink. I met a girl… your mother. I stayed for work and a couple of months later, right before I had to go home she searched me up to tell me she was pregnant"

Thoughts were spinning in my head…

Had he really not meant to just leave me?

"I had to go back. For work, for my wife and my sons. I'm a terrible liar so the first thing I did getting off that plane was putting the boys to bed and sitting down with Marie, like we are now, and told her. And she threw me out of the house and never wanted to see me again. She filed for a divorce and I made sure I would at least get to see the boys and have them every other weekend. I told your mother I'd send her a check every month which I did for the first couple of years… then I lost my job and with the boys and rent and everything I couldn't afford to without losing my flat… By the time I had another job I… I…"

"You'd forgotten about me."

Gav sighed again, he seemed to do that a lot…

"I guess that's the simplest way of saying it but… I promise you I didn't just do it like that. I thought about you every single day… well, almost. And if I'd have known what happened with the care home and everything I'd have to come and get you at the very minute." He ended with one more sigh. "And then your mother sent me an email a month or two, and that's it."

At the beginning I had been swallowing a lump in my throat. But somewhere along the way it had gone down and disappeared.

"I… I just wanted to meet you… I just wanted to tell you… Just… please don't make the same mistakes as I did… I lost the whole childhood of a daughter and most of it of both of my sons… We came to see you when you were a newborn and then never again."

"Until now." He nodded. I hesitated and stood up to go over to the wedding and watched the streetlights and rain falling outside. "I want you to go now… But…. You're still invited to the wedding if you want to come. And if you meet her then my mum is too."

Gav gave a nod, then turned around and walked out into the hallway. I only heard him for so long as I heard his footsteps down the stairs and the door open and close.

"Are you okay love?"

Seth came and laid his arm around my shoulders. Just as Gav could be seen outside the window as he crossed the parking lot, with his hands shoved hard into his coat pockets he continued down the street.

And for the first time ever a while the look of my dad didn't tie a knot in my chest.

"Yeah… actually I am."

Random fact

I'd forgotten about the photo Tracy was given a couple of chapters ago. Haha, when I'd written Gav telling his whole story I had to add it.