Skylar's POV
..
Skylar looked up at the large hole in the ceiling and wondered why there weren't more people here. It was the perfect place to lay low, and the net was wonderful to lay in. The sun had set, and though there were clouds, it was still a pretty nice view.
And right now, she needed a good view, because for some reason she felt like crap. Not sick, but just, not great. Probably because it was that time of the month; which sucked ass. That was why she had convinced one of the cooks to give her a scone that they'd made for breakfast, and had been laying on the net for nearly twenty minutes after she'd ditched Alec.
And that had been nearly impossible because Alec had kept asking her what was wrong. But nothing was wrong, she just wanted to be away from people, and he wanted to be surrounded by them. He always did, and after their run, she'd agreed to give him a chance. He'd pretty much begged her and told her that he liked her a lot, so it was worth a shot.
"Hey, there you are," Meck said and rolled into the net next to her. She laughed when he almost toppled on top of her.
"Didn't know you were looking," she told him as he placed himself next to her. "And if you want to cop a feel all you gotta do is ask," she joked.
"Oh, whatever. And your brothers were asking about you" he said with a grin.
"Hmm," she tried to make it sound upbeat, but she didn't want to deal with them right now. "Yep, I told them I didn't know where you were," Meck said. "Which was the truth, I didn't. But I ran into Alec a few minutes ago, and he did, so, yeah. Here I am."
Sky leaned her head to the side and pulled back so she could look at him. Why was he nervous?
He caught her eye and scrunched his lips, then looked back to the hole in the ceiling.
"What did they do to you?" Skylar teased and nudged him. Or maybe it was Alec?
"Nothing," he said shaking his head. "Just asked me how you were."
She almost snorted. If they wanted to know, they should just ask themselves. Though, if they were looking for her, then that was something. Guess Lucas wasn't as busy as he'd implied.
"And you told them, what?" she waited for him to finish her sentence.
"That you were fine," Meck told her, his eyes still facing up.
She moved so that she was laying on her side, her head propped up by her hand, trying to hold herself up, so she didn't fall on him. She stared at him and waited. Why was he lying?
"I didn't know you didn't tell him about your mom moving in with Jack," he shrugged again, still looking at the ceiling. "And that she didn't show up to the choosing ceremony."
Oh, wonderful.
"You didn't want them to know?" he asked and looked at her. "I figured they did already."
Skylar didn't bother answered him as she rolled to her back again.
"I'm sorry," he told her. She could tell it was genuine.
"I know," she replied with a sigh.
"Why didn't you want them to know?"
She stared at the ceiling, her heart lurching. There were a lot of reasons she hadn't told them.
"Skylar," he pushed.
"Because it would just make them mad, I guess," she told him. "Or pity me."
Meck turned his head toward her again. "You can lie to me about as well as I can lie to you. I know there's more to it than that."
There was more.
"You don't have to tell me," he told her.
She knew she didn't. But Meck was her friend, maybe he'd understand. Or maybe he wouldn't.
"I think she blames me," Skylar explained, her voice quiet. "I think that's why she gave up."
She saw from the corner of her eyes that Meck scrunched his face curiously.
"Blames you?" Meck rolled to his side again. "For what Skylar? Not for-no way, that wasn't your fault. No one blames you."
But it was. It was all Skylar's fault. And she was afraid if her brothers knew that her mom had finally come to that conclusion, maybe they'd finally agree.
"But I'm the one that left the candles burning," she choked.
Meck put his arm around her and pulled her toward him. She didn't bother pushing him away.
"It was an accident," he told her quietly, his face in her hair. "She didn't move in with Jack because she blames you for the fire Sky. I'm not justifying her behavior, but she was probably just ready to move on, knowing you were going to leave her." He pulled her tightly.
Skylar nuzzled into him, hoping he wouldn't take it the wrong way. It was amazing how good a hug could make you feel. Just someone holding her made things a little better.
"Your brothers wouldn't think that anyways," he said quietly. "They love you too much."
"I know," she muttered, her voice muted. And she did know that, but she didn't understand why she was feeling like this. It had been a long time since she'd cried about the death of Shade and her father, she wasn't about to start now. And especially not because of her mother.
After a few minutes of silence, Meck squirmed and pulled back slightly. She almost protested because he was really warm, but he spoke before she could.
"I called them assholes too," he grinned at her, eyes wide. "In front of all their friends, even Eric."
Skylar stared at him and raised an eyebrow.
"I know, I know," Meck said and pulled her back in for another hug. "But it's their fault; they told me to be honest, so I was."
"I'm going to have to be with you 24/7 now because you're no longer safe," she teased.
Meck chuckled. After another moment of silence, he whispered to her again.
"I know we're just friends, but this is nice." She felt a hand on her hair, and he brushed it away and nuzzled closer to her. "comforting, even."
She hummed, then opened her eyes. Meck had just said that he knew they were just friends, but should she tell him about Alec? Thats what friends did, right? And they were closer than friends, if anything she was starting to think they were becoming best friends.
"Alec asked me to consider seeing him," she said honestly. "He kissed me too, it was nice."
Meck didn't say anything at first, but his body had tensed.
Skylar almost cursed; he'd been lying when he'd said he understood they were friends. Wait, no he hadn't. She would have been able to tell, right?
"When did he ask you this?" he asked and pulled back a bit so that he was still holding her, but his face was laying on the net observing her.
"After our run earlier," she shrugged, and Meck sighed.
"You shouldn't," he told her firmly.
Skylar stared at him and waited for an explanation.
"Because I'm pretty sure that the moans and grunts that were coming from the shower that he and Callie were in, like, not even a couple of hours ago," he explained lightly, a frown on his face, "was not a training exercise."
Skylar snorted. That had lasted long.
Alec was a douche.
"Oh, I don't know, it could have been," she joked. "They were probably working on their stamina and balance."
"Do you plan on training me that way too?" he smiled, "because I'm down if that's what you think I need."
Skylar shoved him lightly, and he laughed.
Now that she thought about it, Meck wasn't all that bad looking. His hazel eyes were pretty, and his skin was soft. And although they hadn't even been in Dauntless for two weeks, she knew his body was starting to look much better already.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Meck asked her and narrowed his eyes; she noticed that he was blushing.
"Like what?"
"You're- you're fidgeting too," his grin grew and he and tightened his grip on her. "I was just trying to be a good friend, not try to get in your pants. But I've realized that there isn't a moment you aren't thinking about sex."
She smiled and pushed him away, but he didn't let up.
"I am not looking at you like that!" she exclaimed.
"You totally were! Honestly, if you want my virginity it's yours," he teased. "I don't want it anymore; seriously I don't mind."
Skylar smirked at him. "First off, has anyone you're spending too much time with me? Because you're turning into a perv too! And second, I don't want to lose mine just yet; I think I'll pass," she joked back.
Meck laughed at first, but when he saw the look on her face, he stopped.
"Wait, no way you're messing with me? Aren't you? Holy shit, but? Wait?"
Meck pulled back from her and situated himself, so he was propped up and looking at him curiously, so she rolled onto her back again. She missed his warmth, but they'd been hugging long enough.
"I don't understand. You're always joking about that kind of stuff," Meck pondered.
"Well I've fooled around with quite a bit, and done literally everything, but " she explained. "But the opportunity never presented itself to go all the way."
That was a partial lie, as it definitely had with Ward. And she was pretty sure if her brother's hadn't walked in on Sunday she would have done literally anything that Eric had wanted.
Nope, not Eric. She couldn't think about him. He was just like most of the guys she'd met here so far, and probably had a few chicks on the side.
Like Ward and that girlfriend that she hadn't known about.
And evidentially Callie, which Alec and sworn up and down he wasn't interested in.
"Well color me surprised. I thought you were a total slut. I'm not sure we can be friends anymore."
She pushed him again. "Ugh, enough of this. I'm tired."
To her surprise, when she tried to roll over him to get off the net, he pulled her down right when she was on top of him, acting like he was going to kiss her. She gasped, but instead, he grinned and rolled her over again, then pushed himself off the net first.
She cursed at him, and he waited for her to get down. When he tried to offer his help, she pushed him off and did it herself, slamming her feet down flat on the concrete when she did. It'd hurt, but not too bad.
As they walked toward the dorms, Skylar realized she felt a bit better now. She was lucky to have Meck as a friend; she knew that.
However, somewhere in the back of her mind, she felt a tinge of doubt about her brothers.
Sure, it had been years since the fire, but it felt like it was just yesterday. And her mother had always been sad on Shade and her's birthday. Sad on her anniversary. Sad on dad's birthday. When her brothers were around, it had been easier to deal with. Then as the years went on, Lucas left, then Persi left, then Jami left until it was just her. And it shouldn't have been just her; it should have been her and Shade.
Shade. Good God did she miss Shade more than anything in the entire world. She'd been his best friend, and they'd been inseparable growing up. There was nothing more she wanted in life than to see him again. Shade was the bravest person she'd ever met, and he should be here with her.
Meck put an arm around her shoulder and leaned in as they walked, "You've got that look on your face again Sky."
Skylar shook her head and looked up, then glanced back to him and forced a smile on her face. But Meck knew better.
"You should wear a tank top tomorrow," he said seriously. "That way your brother will have no choice but to pay attention to you. Or, you and I could train in the showers when we get back?"
Skylar pushed him off of her again
"What I'm just trying to make you feel better," he said, his voice defensive as they arrived at the dorms.
"Does she not feel good?" Skylar looked up to see that Alec was standing up from his bunk just as they entered the room. "You seemed fine when I left you earlier."
Concern showed on his face, but she wanted no part of it.
"Did Callie seem fine earlier?" she asked him.
Alec looked shocked for a moment, then his face straightened.
"What do you mean? He deadpanned. Skylar watched him; he stood straighter, his breath was slightly heavier. He was getting ready to lie.
"Oh, so you didn't shower together earlier?" she asked him and folded her arms.
Alec shook his head. "Okay, fine. But it was before I talked to you, and she walked in on me and it just sort of happened."
"You talked to her after your run," Meck said as he walked over to his bunk, grabbing a sweatshirt from the bag under his bed. "And you were showering with Callie like a few hours ago."
"Stay out of this," Alec snapped at him. He turned back to Skylar. "C'mon, like you, haven't been with anyone since transferring here? It meant nothing, I swear. Let's just, start over?"
Meck snorted from across the room, and Alec glared at him again.
"We're better off as just friends, and leave him out of this." Skylar motioned to Meck and walked to her bunk.
Alec cursed under his breath. She ignored him, and Meck made his way to the bathroom with a toothbrush in his hand.
"Leave him out of this? You know what I think?" Alec said as he watched her grab shorts and a t-shirt from her bag. "I think that you're only worried about me screwing around on you if we dated because you'd be fucking him too."
Skylar turned around and glared at him. Meck stopped just before the bathroom, and Conrad peeked his head around next to him to watch.
"Oh, shut the hell up Alec, did you ever think that maybe, just maybe," she stepped toward him and raised her hand to point at him. "I'm not fucking interested? Get the hell over yourself."
"Not interested?" Alec scoffed.
"Yes, not fucking interested, you heard me." She stormed toward the bathroom in a worse mood than she had been when Meck had found her. She pushed past him and Conrad, who was observing her before he shrugged and made his way to his bunk.
When she was done in the bathroom, she saw Conrad and Alec whispering to each other, with Desmond and Isaac there too. Isaac nodded to her and Conrad smiled, but Desmond had the same look on his face as Alec.
Skylar threw herself in bed and rolled so she was facing the wall, thanking the entire world she'd chosen a bed that she could do that. She was tired. And annoyed.
After laying for a good twenty minutes and ignored the sounds of other initiates going to bed, she rolled she was flat on her bed, looking up. A balled-up wrapper hit her in the face, making her turn sharply.
"He's an ass," Meck mouthed from the bed across from hers. She'd made Adaline move the other night so that he wasn't so far away, mostly because last week they'd been getting up early to train.
Skylar nodded at him and mouthed that they were getting up early to go for a run again, and he smiled before laying on his back.
She hoped that she and Meck would be friends for a very long time because if she really thought about it, she didn't have any other close friends. Sure, the Dauntless-born had been good friends so far, but how long was that going to last? With training and the fights, or even once they were all in Dauntless, it'd be stupid to think that they'd ass remain close. Especially since Alec was being an ass; he had been friends with most of them his entire life.
She rolled on her back again and closed her eyes tightly, thinking of Shade. He would tell her that it was all in her head, just like he had when they were kids.
Everything was fine, and she was just having a bad night.
She began every day a new day, so it could always be better.
Tomorrow would be better. It had to be better.
Optimistic. She needed to be optimistic because that's what he would have wanted. That was why she was there, and he wasn't, no matter how unfair it was.
She put her hand on her side, above her tattoo, smiling when she thought of the tree. It was the same one that had been in their yard, in the house that no longer stood.
..