Chapter 1: Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks, and the Bear
Glad to be back with another chapter, time to learn a bit more about dis.
Hours of walking later…
Misha was on his journey home, as he was only out looking to hunt. He's not in the best financial business and apparently half way in the forest he found out there is something called 'hunting season' and that it's illegal to hunt when's it's not hunting season. He normally just hunted bears for him and his family.
Ok so I think you're wondering, how the fuck is Heavy Weapons Guy in Remnant. Well, here's a bit of history. So Australian scientists were testing out experimental australium warp pads. So basically, the prototype for the teleporter. Radigan Conagher was helping the Aussies since they needed all the help they could get for cracking teleportation. It took months to crack the teleportation, since Australians are basically super humans and Conagher is one of the best scientists on the planet.
But sadly, some Bonk! Atomic Punch was already being produced, so one scientist was drinking the radioactive soda. He spilled it on the all the hard work and effort put into it. Naturally the Australians would of been having an all out brawl but the teleporter glowed green. Then a Aussie was walking into the room and tripped over some radioactive soda. While his foot was melting from the radiation infused soda, he dropped his anime stuff and it fell into the portal.
Then a rift started to form and they saw a new world, Remnant to be exact. Then a bunch of things like politics and a small war broke out. They then settled their differences and were free to have Earthlings go to Remnant and Remnaneese come to Earth. That's why Misha is now in Remnant and saved the two little girls.
Now, Misha lived in a cheap apartment in Patch. He was kinda tight on cash, which he could trade in for Remnant's currency, so he saved enough to get this place. When I mean cheap place I mean it's a place nobody wants, so you can probably tell how many fights Misha won around here.
Anyways, he brought the two inside. Yang was still sleeping peacefully on his shoulder. Ruby was awake now, he told her what happened, at least from his perspective.
"Weeeee, I'm a superhero", she said, since Misha is so tall that riding on his arm helped her imagine that she was a superhero more.
Misha got questionable looks from the people in the apartments. You know, since it's not everyday that the huge, muscular guy that took on a gang of low lives comes in with two little girls. It's seems a bit peculiar right. So he went up the stairs, which was already hard enough because of his build, now he has to carry a wagon and two passengers up their. He finally got up the stairs and to his room's door. He took out his keys, which look stupidly small in his hands, and opened the door that barely fit his size.
"It was long trip", said Misha as he put down the wagon and brought the two girls to his room. He put them gently on the bed and left the his bedroom. He went into his small kitchen and began to make some food since the two must be starving, Yang looked like she'd been holding it for days.
Ruby looked at her beat up sister and felt sad. "Y-yang are you okay", she said to her big sister. The girl woke up and yawned, adorably.
She looked at her baby sister and said, "Hey rubes, i got to tell you about our new friend", she said to her baby sister.
"I alweady know, he twod me", she said in her adorable baby voice, having trouble saying her words.
"Where is he", Yang asked her baby sister. She tried to get up but it hurt. She had bruises and cuts on her so you could tell it hurt, plus her feet and right arm were sore from all the walking and pulling the wagon. They turned their heads as they heard a knock on the door. Misha let himself in and had a ham sandwich cut in half.
"Here, is moist and delicious", he said as he put the plate on the bed. The two grabbed their share of the sandwich and started to gobble it down. Like magic, they were full of energy.
"All my boo boos are gone", Yang said as she got up. I guess food solves everything, hunger, sadness, deadly wounds that should've killed you.
"Sandvich is good, I make this when I get hurt", Misha said as he grabbed on of his own and gobbled it down with a loud OM NOM NOM. The girls laughed at his way of telling everyone he was having a picnic.
"You're funny", Ruby said. Heavy chuckled a bit, then he left the room. He had to find out what to do with them.
"Misha", Yang called as she was out of the bed.
"Da", he said, giving his attention. Yang looked confused, so Misha told her 'Da' is 'Yes' in Russian.
"Can we go to the park", she asked, Ruby can speeding out of the room when she heard 'park'.
"PWEASE", Ruby asked. Both girls were staring intently at them.
"No", he said as he had a long day and just ate his favorite food.
"Pweasepweasepweasepweasepwease", Ruby said at the speed of light.
"No", Misha said.
"Pretty please, with sugar on top", Yang said.
"No", Msiha said in a more annoyed tone.
"PWEASEEEEEEEEEEEE", Ruby said,m which more emphasis, adding some puppy dog eyes to seal the deal. Yang joined in too.
Misha gave a cold stare as he was not going to be defeated.
5 minutes laters…
Misha and the sisters were still staring at eachother, expect Misha was sweating. Finally he said, "Fine, we go". The girls cheered and hugged his legs. "After you have bath", he said. The two stinked and Yang was dirty and sweaty.
He turned on the bath and let the water warm up. He then left the bathroom and said, "Go take bath". The two then went into the room and threw their clothes out of the door. These aren't his kids so it's kinda awkward for him to wash them. Misha grabbed the clothes and put them in the washer. The apartment he's in is fine, but it's cheap not because it's low quality, it's cheap because of the neighborhood. He had the Ruby's cape, shorts, shirt, and the other things like under garments. He put Yang's yellow dress and other essential in there too.
"T.V. time", Misha said as he sat down and watched a documentary about Faunas.
15 minutes later…
"We're done, Misha", Yang said loudly.
"I get clothes", he responded.
Now they were in clean clothes and were clean. "Is time for park", Misha said.
"I'm tired", Ruby whined as she fell asleep on Misha's couch.
"I wanted to go", Yang said sadly. It was late though, he knew he shouldn't bring them since he lives in a bad neighborhood.
Misha put his hand on her shoulder and said, "We go tomorrow". Yang lit up and hugged his leg.
He picked up the two girls and put them in his bed to sleep. Misha then left the room and slept on the couch. He was tired from today, fighting Grimm and now having to take care of two girls, what's next.
He was about to shut his eyes when he heard the door open. He saw it was Yang who looked sad. "Can I sleep with you, I had a nightmare", she said.
"Sigh Fine, you sleep on chair", he said. Yang then sat on the chair but when she bought he was asleep she crawled on top of his back and hugged him tightly. Misha woke up and was slightly annoyed but didn't have the heart to tell her, GET OF ME, so he just let her lay there and went to sleep.
The next day
Misha woke up with a yawn, that could make a bear sound friendly, and tried to get up, but he felt a hand sunk into his hair and remembered Yang was still asleep on his back. Ruby walked out of Misha's room and saw him on the couch waiting for Yang to wake up. "YAY, HUGS", she said as she jumped on to of him and gave the two a hug. Misha was a little annoyed by this but let it happen.
Yang woke up to Ruby wrapping her arm around her in a bone crushing hug. She looked down to see Misha, bored, as he waited for the two to finish. "Can we go to the park now", Yang asked Misha. Guess she didn't forget about it, unfortunately Misha was tired but he knew the girls wouldn't stop harrassing him to bring them so he gave in.
"Fine, we go", Misha said in defeat as he got up from the couch, the girls still holding onto his back with iron grips. He grabbed a Sandvich from the fridge and left his apartment.
Out side
Misha had a red pick up truck, with some custom feature to accommodate for his large hands. He got into the truck and put the two sisters in the seat next to him. He sighed and drove to the nearest park. Yang was sleeping in the car and laid against Misha's arm. Ruby was looking in the truck in wonder, she then laid her eyes on Misha's M37 Ithaca and her eyes widen. She turned to Misha and said, "Can I see your cool gun".
"No", said Misha plainly, is dangerous for little ones. Ruby's heart sunk as she wanted so badly to use it since she has some weird weapon fetish. Don't get triggered if Ruby is your favorite character, if she is then you can't deny it. "You do not know what it even is", said Misha.
"The Ithaca 37 is a pump-action shotgun made in large numbers for the civilian, military, and police markets. It utilizes a novel combination ejection/loading port on the bottom of the gun which leaves the sides closed to the elements. Since shotshells load and eject from the bottom, operation of the gun is equally convenient for both right and left hand shooters. This makes the gun popular with left-handed shooters. The model 37 is considered one of the most durable and reliable shotguns ever produced…", Ruby was interrupted by Misha rubing her hair.
"Ha, ha, do not say such things, is funny to see you try to tell me what it is…", Misha said as he got nervous from Ruby basically listing out something from gun summary right on the spot, although he didn't know whether he liked her more now.
They came close to the close and Yang sprang up, "YAY, the park", she shouted as she was excited to play. Once they parked Yang jumped out of the truck and Ruby ran at the speed of sound to the sandbox. Misha was in a WTF moment right now.
"I need to sit down", he said as he started to rub his temples in confusion. He looked around and saw the kids playing. He then saw Ruby and Yang build a sandcastle.
Ruby turned and said, "Hi". She got up and waved at him. He waved back and pulled out a book, a impressively thick book. He cracked it open and began to read. He then saw someone that kinda disturbed him. It was a tall blonde haired man with a blonde beard. He had a beer bottle in his hand and seemed to be looking for something.
"Stupid drunk", Misha said as he turned the page. The drunk man walked up to him, with Misha knowing.
He said in a drunken state, "Hey man… have you seen two little twerps". Misha had thoughts of disgust. He didn't realize the obvious since he was concentrating on his book and just waved him away.
"Fuck you man", the drunk guy said as he left.
The man then saw Ruby and Yang and looked pissed. "You little bitches", he said. This made Yang look in fear and Ruby just curled up in a ball.
"Leave us alone", Yang said to him in anger. The drunk man slapped her across the face.
"Shut up bitch, you're getting a beating when I bring you home", he said. The people in the park were starting to leave. The drunk guy grabbed Yang by the arm.
"Misha", she cried, trying to get his attention. Misha heard this and dropped his book. He looked pissed when he saw the man grabbing Yang.
"You", Misha said as he cracked his knuckles. The drunk turned around and saw the guy. If he wasn't drunk he would of shit his pants from his 7 foot height and his muscular arms.
"Get out do here meathead, I'm trying to raise a family here", he said. Misha was even more pissed as this was the man who Yang told him about
"Let go of girl", he said in a time that could make a Ursa shit itself.
"Or what", he said to him as he glared at Misha.
"Or else I snap you in half, like twig", Misha said, you can tell by his tone he was not fucking around.
The drunk dropped Yang and she scurried to her sister. "Square up, ya weird voiced asshole", he said, he could tell that Misha was from earth from his Russian accent.
"You are no match for me", Msiah said as he got into boxing position. Taiyang threw a punch it Misha caught it and punched him in the gut. He fell to the ground and threw up. Misha then grabbed Taiyang and slammed him into the ground. What, we all already knew it's Taiyang so no introduction needed. Misha then went over to the girls. He rubbed Yang's cheek since Taiyang bruised it.
"I am sorry for that, we go get ice cream", Misha said, he was low on funds but hey, one of the little girls that find you as a friend just got slapped in the face by their drunk abusive dad. Ice cream is in order. Yang just hugged him and she rested on his shoulder. He grabbed Ruby and brought them to his truck. He put on his seatbelt and Yang fell asleep. He started up the truck but when he did, Ruby leaned into him.
"Thank you for protecting us from the mean guy daddy", Ruby said sleepily as she fell into peaceful slumber. Misha felt like he just got punched in the feels. He watched her as she slept next to him and singled in closely. Misha was basically their dad in the eyes of Yang and Ruby. He knew one thing for certain, he is never going to drink again.
He then drove off to find the nearest ice cream parlor. Then a crow flew off, almost as if it was following the truck. Misha was tense right now, he just beat up a father and his two children were with him. He turned on the radio to ease his mind. He then heard the daily news.
"Lica Lavender here and I am at the public park in Patch. We have recently found a man passed out. Witnesses said that they left before he was knocked out and that he was screaming at two little girls. One person said that the only people left there were the drunk man, the girls, and a huge muscular guy reading a book. I'm Lica Lavender and that's all for now", said the news lady. Misha immediately turned off the radio and looked out from the window, police cars and an ambulance were heading to the park. He got nervous and just wanted to get off the red light.
It finally turned green and made it to the nearest ice cream stand. He then woke up the two girls and said, "Who wants ice cream". The two sprang up and ran out do the car. Yang turned around and saw Mishaw was stressed.
"Are you okay, do you need a hug", the blonde girl said as she hugged him. He was so nervous from hearing the radio that he didn't notice the little girl was comforting him.
"Is fine", he said as he rubbed her hair. It was so cute how she puffed her cheeks when she did this.
"Let's go get ice cream", he said as he picked her up and she rode on his shoulder. Ruby was by the door, almost licking it.
"The mean man never did anything nice for us daddy", Ruby said. 'Daddy', those words cut like a knife when he heard her call him that. He picked her up and they went inside. The patrons turns as they saw Ruby enjoying.
"I'm flying", she said as he rode on Misha's arm.
"Hi", she said to the cashier lady.
"Aww, your daughters are so precious", she said, again cutting through Misha like a knife. "What can I get you", she said.
"Cookies and cream".
"Fudge".
"Mint".
You can guess which one eats which. Misha put down the two girls as they grabbed their corns and sat down. Misha took a bite of his and got some not on his face. Yang took a napkin and wiped it off for him. Yang did the same for Ruby as her face was covered in cookies and cream ice cream. Yang enjoyed her fudge. "Thank you", they both said in unison to Misha. He just smiled and finished his treat.
He then saw something that really pissed him off, Faunas protesters. Yep people who hated Faunases, Faunai, Faun… an? Don't think about it too hard. Just there were racists outside, and oh how Misha hated them. They were annoying since all they did was harass Faunas. I mean it just like normal racism, why can't we be fucking equal it just a different color of skin or animal parts. Misha got out from his chair and said, "SHUT UP BABIES".
"Go back to Menagerie Faunas, no one fucking wants you here".
"Stupid animals".
"Go back to your fucking circus act".
All these racist comments were pissing him of, first of all cause he didn't care for racism, it's pretty stupid, and he had kids here. "Stop, children are here", the Russian said in anger.
"The children need to know", the guy said before Heavy decked him in the face.
"You leave or you end up like him", Misha said, everyone then left the premise.
A rabbit lady got out of her car with her child. She walked over to the Russian and said, "Thank you". She gave him a kiss on the cheek and went inside. He then went back inside and grabbed his girls before heading out.
"What was that about", Yang asked.
"Something stupid", Misha said.
"The sound mean, daddy", Ruby said, like a knife.
"They are mean, Ruby", Misha said before getting into the car and driving home.
Misha was on the road and his two girls were sleeping in the passenger seat. He then saw a police car right next to him by the red light. The officer got out of the car and knocked on his window. Misha opened the trick and said, "Добрый день, офицер (Good afternoon officer)".
"Are you showing disrespect to a officer", he said as he took out his ticket booklet. Misha rolled his eyes from his comment.
"No sir, is native tongue", Misha said. "I am from earth and I do not speak good English", Misha continued.
"That's fine, just try and speak our language here so you don't get in trouble", the officer said. "I'll have to take you back to the station for questioning", he said. "Please step out do the vehicle and I'll call a deputy to park you truck", he said. "Please come peacefully so this can be easy on the both of us", he said.
Ruby and Yang woke up from her nap and saw Misha getting out of the car. "Daddy, where are you going", asked Ruby. The cop noticed this so he knew to wait for the deputy since he had kids with him. After the deputy arrived the cop told him to take the sisters with him. But when Ruby found out she wasn't going with Misha, she started to cry her eyes out
"Ruby stop, it isn't working", Yang said to her baby sister.
"Please Ruby, it won't take long time", said Misha, Ruby hugged him and went peacefully with the deputy.
While the officer would of used hand cuffs, he couldn't find any that could fit Misha's wrists or some that he couldn't break easily. Misha went quietly with him, which he appreciated since most of his catches don't listen.
He drove the Russian to the Vale police station. He brought him inside and then lead him to a room. It was a interrogation room which had that glass on one side you can see from and one you can't. He then sat him and began the questioning. A lot of the cops were on alert since this guy seemed pretty dangerous.
"We were notified about a drunk man in the park and you were one of the last people there. The man there puked and had bruises, out cold", the cop said. "I have one question was it you who did that", the officer asked.
"Da, I did, he hit little girl and might of beaten them, so I protect them". "This one", he said as he pointed to a picture of Yang. "She went into forest looking for mother, she almost killed by Grimm, I save her and she tell me about bad dad", he said to the cop. The officer understood the his story and knew he had good intentions.
"I'll let you off with a warning, just try to be a bit more careful", the officer said. Misha brought his own giant hand to shake the officers. The deputy pulled up and when the officer got the notification he lead Misha outside. He was greeted with Ruby and Yang running towards him and gave him a hug. Misha patted them on the back and brought them to his truck. The officer was notified that Misha was carrying a firearm in his truck when he turned to talk to the Russian about it he was already gone.
When they got to the apartments, they saw a man standing there, he had a small canteen of booze he was drinking. Good thing he seemed like he wasn't drunk. Misha grabbed his shotgun and got out of the car. There were no law to where you couldn't carry guns with you in Patch so he was fine. The man looked up at Misha, and he gave him a stare. "What do you want little man", Misha said.
"I'm Qrow, I'm here to apologize about my brother, Taiyang, he's been having a drinking problem for some time now", he said to the Russian. He smelled like alcohol but wasn't acting like Taiyang did back at the park.
"Is fine", Misha said as he just walked away. Ruby and Yang said hi to Qrow, but didn't know him that well. They just followed Misha inside, tired from the day they had. Qrow pulled out a walkie talkie and said, "No, I haven't found the Fall Maiden yet". "There is no woman who seems capable of being the Fall Maiden. Closet thing I found was a huge guy with a strange accent, probably from earth".
The turned his head to look at his surroundings, when he saw the coast was clear he turned in a crow and flew away from the apartment complex.
Well, here ya go. I'm amazed this grew so fast, it's very flattering you guys like it. Sorry it took so long to put out, and sorry if it was too boring for ya. Anyways that's the end of the toddler chronicles. Yeah I'm skipping a couple of years but it's so you're not bored to death from toddler antics. That's all for now, adios.
Blue Night The Exorcist: Thanks!
chief of RAGE: Fuck Yeah! Glad you like it man!
death korp commissinar: Have you tried raising two super powered girls, even for Heavy it sounds tough, and he's the Crushin' Russian.
Guest: Thanks…?
Frank Horrigan: Yep, that's before he heard about this 'hunting season'. How stupid does that sound.
Guest: Glad ya like it! I'm definitely writing more.
Guest: This chapter already answered your question. Glad you find it intriguing. The intro to how Heavy got to Remnant may have ,made it too boring.