A/N: WARNING—there are implications of sexual abuse in this chapter.
Why would a girl be scared of her family?
The search results came up with countless links to irrelevant webpages ranging from articles about women being afraid to love to those about men being scared of women who wanted children, but nothing where the word 'girl' actually meant 'girl'. Jody sighed. She'd come straight home from the cafe she'd met Amabel in and had quickly snatched the household laptop when no one had been looking, but after a string of at least twenty searches, she still had no answers. Considering her failures to find Gray and Benji online, this was pretty par for the course, but she didn't want to give up just yet.
Since the reemergence of her bad side, or perhaps true face, she'd given up believing that she helped others out of sympathy or the goodness of her heart. This time was no different. The scared expression on Amabel's face had raked up memories of a time when she'd been that fearful of her own family, and she needed to understand what Amabel was so afraid of to rebury those memories. With that in mind, she tried searching again, but worded her query differently: what makes a girl afraid of her family? This search yielded better results but the search engine seemed to take 'girl' to mean small child.
She considered adding 'teenage' into the search, in front of 'girl', but paused as she suddenly remembered that Amabel seemed to have frozen up at the mention of her father, specifically. Well, Jody couldn't be sure that that was exactly what'd happened—she wasn't known for her memory—but the fact remained that Amabel's father had always been the family member she'd seemed most distant to. Maybe it was just him she feared, rather than the entire family. It certainly made sense; Amabel had said she only needed her mother and brother in life, not her father. Jody flexed her fingers, formulating a new query.
Why would a girl be afraid of her father?
At first, it appeared as though the results were just as unhelpful as the previous ones but, this time around, something in her compelled her to scroll down. So she did. She even went to the next page, too, and felt the instantaneous urge to vomit when she read the title of the third link down the page.
My Dad the paedophile.
Selfishly, she became concerned about what this meant for her rather than Amabel; if this was true, and Amabel's father was her father too, then all of her blood was officially filthy. She'd never thought that Gray was a saint anyway, given the fact that he'd walked out on the Jacksons for another woman, but she'd been happy knowing so little about him because it had meant keeping her reclaimed surname relatively untainted. Now, though? Now she'd gone and backed herself into a corner. Where before she was just the daughter of two deadbeats, she was now potentially the daughter of a deadbeat and a sexual abuser of the worst kind—a monster who preyed on its own offspring.
Jody backed away from the laptop and leant back in her chair, wondering if she was hastily jumping to conclusions. There were a million other reasons that could explain Amabel's fear of her father such as the kind of neglect and physical abuse Denise and Kingsley had put Jody through. However, Amabel wasn't a nine-year-old; her father could hardly lock her up in her room or find himself in a position to force her head under bathwater. It was still possible that he beat her, yes, but Jody had never seen signs of that sort of abuse on her. In fact, the last bruise Amabel had sported had been given to her by Jody herself...
Sexual abuse was harder to spot, for obvious reasons. Only someone who walked in on a victim naked would be able to tell something was off and while Jody had never caught Amabel in such a state, she had walked in on her crying in the toilets just this Monday. She didn't want to think about it, didn't want to nauseate herself, but she couldn't deny the likelihood of Amabel bursting into tears at the sight of the damage that had been done to her at the hands of her own father. The more she thought about it, the more things started to add up, especially Amabel's total lack of desire to get into a relationship; she'd read somewhere once that childhood sexual abuse victims, particularly women, had a hard time dealing with relationships due to trauma and trust issues. Of course, Amabel had said that she was uninterested in a relationship rather than scared of starting one but if Jody's suspicions were true, then that statement had simply been a ruse to conceal the truth.
The truth. Jody nearly quaked in her boots just thinking about it, but tomorrow, she would have to uncover that truth, if only to set her own mind at rest.
.:. QK .:.
The next day, Jody steeled herself for the inevitable relief or heartbreak she was going to experience after confronting Amabel as she stood outside the double doors to the main gym room and spied said girl through the glass windows. The thought of finding out if her maybe-father was a molester or rapist made her sick to the stomach but she willed herself to buckle down and get on with it. She was anything but a coward.
Resolute in her mission, she threw open the double doors and marched into the room, her line of sight fixed solely upon her target. Amabel gave her the side-eye as she approached, clearly amused.
"Why have you got that look on your face?" she asked, stretching her arms as she always did during her warm-up. Looking at her now, no one would be able to tell that her heart wasn't one hundred per cent set on getting into the junior team next year. "You look like you need to take a dump."
Jody tried not to react, hoping that Amabel was joking; she wouldn't be able to take herself seriously anymore if not. She'd have to check her game-face out as soon as she got back home. "I need to talk to you."
Frowning, Amabel let her arms fall and straightened her back, standing up to her full height. She was a couple of inches taller than Jody. "We already did the talking thing yesterday. Today's for training."
"Training for something you don't even want to do?"
"I wouldn't be training if I didn't want to make the team."
"But it's not really what you want, is it?" Jody asked, crossing her arms. "Be honest."
"Let's see, what I want is to please my parents, and the way to do that is to make the team and represent our region. So yeah, it is what I want, just like it's what you want."
"Don't compare yourself to me. I want to make the team for myself, not anyone else. I don't have an abusive parent pressuring me into it."
Both of Amabel's hands curled up into fists, and she blinked once, twice, and a third time, before managing to ask Jody what she was on about sans swearing.
"I'm talking about your dad. He's abusive, right?"
"How is that any of your business?!"
"You can tell me the truth," Jody insisted, glad that the gym was relatively quiet. "I'm not going to tell anyone; I'm not a snitch."
"I don't care what you are!" Amabel hissed. "My family is none of your business. I only spoke to you yesterday so that you would drop the whole crying thing and move on. I wasn't opening up to you or some other soft shit like that!"
"I don't believe that. If it was like that, you would've just told me why you were crying right off the bat and left straight after. But you didn't. You started telling me all about your parents' marriage and how the pressure they put on you stresses you out. I didn't ask you to tell me any of that; you told me all on your own."
"You didn't ask me? Really? You were sticking your bloody nose in like you always do, so I had to tell you!" Amabel released a laugh through her nose, shaking her head. "This is exactly why my dad told me to never talk to outsiders about family matters. I can't believe I was so stupid to go against him."
Somehow, Amabel's words pushed Jody's patience to the limit. She'd been reluctant at first to spell out the type of abuse she was referring to, either out of embarrassment or fear, but she just couldn't stand the suspense anymore. Wasn't it better to know the truth than to wonder?
"He's raping you, isn't he?"
Amabel's face paled, her mouth dropping wide open. She looked ashen, almost ill, and remained silent for so long that Jody worried she'd gone into shock. Maybe being so straightforward hadn't been the best idea, after all; Jody's question could've raked up some awful memories.
"My mum was right when she said you care kids are fucked up," Amabel finally spoke, her voice hoarse. "Maybe the girl who lives down the hall from you was raped by her nonce dad, but that is not me, okay? If he's raping anyone, it's my mum."
Jody's blood boiled but she forced herself to keep her cool. As far as she knew, none of her housemates, past or present, had been subjected to sexual abuse, whether by their fathers or someone else, but Amabel wasn't all wrong; they were all 'fucked-up' in their own ways, from her with her destructive anger to Ryan and his insatiable need for revenge. That was just who they were. It didn't make sense to get angry over a truthful, accurate statement. Still, she was horribly vexed, and she needed to take it out on someone.
"What's your dad's name?" she asked. She'd let this slow, subtle, trust-gaining nonsense go on long enough. She should've just asked straight out the very day Amabel had been called 'Gray' in front of her.
Amabel scoffed. "You really think I'm gonna tell you after what you just said?"
"Please, I need to know."
"So you can go and tell your care worker about your whack theories and then send the social knocking 'round my door? NO."
Fixing Amabel with a stare, Jody tipped her head to the side. "Do you really think I won't be able to find him on my own? I know your name and it's not exactly common. Not here, anyway. One word to my carers, and..."
"Don't you dare!"
"I won't if you tell me!"
"No, you don't understand!" Amabel wailed, panic setting into her tone. "I need them to be a part of my life! I mean, just look at me; I'm rude, unlikeable, socially awkward... where on Earth would I go if I didn't have my parents around? Hmm? After seeing how my father treats my mother, I never want to get into a relationship, so they're really all I'm ever going to have! Who would want me anyway? I'm a ball of rage!"
"You know where you could go, Amabel."
"I'm sorry, Jody, but I'd never be able to give up my middle-class life to live like you. I know what it's like for you care kids; I couldn't live a single day without my dad's money."
"Are you serious?" Jody asked, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. She was offering Amabel a life away from abuse, her mother's, if not her own, and yet Amabel could only think of money. "It won't matter as much once you're old enough to work. You've only got to wait a year."
The look on Amabel's face made it all too clear that she was determined to stay where she was.
Jody sighed, her desire to find out if Amabel was her sister rapidly waning; she didn't need yet another spineless sibling to worry about. "Fine. I won't tell anyone. I'll never even mention your family again."
Amabel nodded, releasing a breath. "Okay. Let's train."
.:. QK .:.
The encounter with Amabel left Jody feeling strangely flat well into the evening, and not for the reasons one might've expected. She could care less about who Amabel's father was—in fact, she actively hoped he wasn't her father too—but what had really got to her and was still playing on her mind was Amabel's tirade about how unlikeable and angry she was. It resonated with her to an uncomfortable extent, but that wasn't all; it forced her to wonder, not for the first time, why on Earth a guy like Tyler liked a girl like her.
From the very beginning, Tyler had been a total laugh, and even though his pranks and inappropriate sense of humour had got on the others' nerves more often than not, they'd all genuinely liked him. Even Ryan liked him, which was a feat in and of itself, and who could blame him? Over the years, Tyler had grown into an outgoing and responsible young man with a heart of gold, always ready to help people, and always seeing the best in everyone, especially her, but what was she? She'd thought she was just like him, especially nice and helpful, but underneath it all, she was still the mean, scruffy little bundle of rage she'd been when she'd arrived at Elm Tree House. She hadn't changed at all, besides gaining half a dozen inches in height.
She smiled sadly as Tyler went on about something Piper had said down at the radio station, something well beyond her understanding. Whatever he was talking about had happened yesterday, and yet it was still on his mind. Piper was still on his mind.
Tyler hadn't lied to Jody when she'd last confronted him about Piper, at least not consciously, but she knew that the pair had a connection she would never understand. He probably didn't even know it yet, thinking he still liked her, but he would soon enough; feelings had a way of creeping up on people and taking them by complete surprise. That was what had happened to her, over two years ago, when Floss and the twins' teasing had got to her; before that, she'd never in her wildest dreams thought that she'd fall for her best friend, of all people.
But enough about her. Objectively speaking, Piper and Tyler made a better couple than he and Jody did. If nothing else, they just looked better together; Piper was tall, nearly as tall as Tyler, and therefore didn't look like a child next to him, and wasn't a plain Jane like Jody knew herself to be. Most importantly, Piper was far more confident in herself than Jody was ever going to be, meaning she'd be able to keep up with Tyler who was surely but steadily growing more and more self-assured by the day.
With bright eyes, Tyler suddenly started talking about his plans to spend the majority of Easter holidays, which were still two weeks away, at the radio station. Of course, he couldn't wait to spend more time with Piper. Jody sat there on his bed, forcing herself to maintain her smile as she wondered how much longer it would take for him to realise he was falling for another girl. She half-hoped it'd be soon so that she could get over it by the time their final school term began. Of course, the other half of her hoped never, but that was unrealistic.
Amabel had been right. Who would want a ball of rage, especially when they had a cool, calm and collected girl like Piper waiting in the wings?
A/N: I've returned to uni so update frequency may decrease a little bit. However, since I'm planning to finish this in 60 chapters, it really shouldn't matter. I'm bad at making promises but I do believe I'll have finished this fic by the end of the year, if not November.
Thanks for the review, Charlie!