Chapter 14
The Lion and the Beetle
There's this fairytale. In it there is a proud lion. He would walk the length of a massive forest of which was his kingdom and roar out how fine and great he was. Upon his passing all the other animals would bow in respect to him and no one would dare to make fun of or refuse to show their respect to the lion for he was indeed the king of the forest.

One day there was to be a splendid parade and the king of the beasts would be featured in it. The vain lion decided to don his finest robe and his largest fanciest medals. He even wore a shining jeweled crown atop his great mane. Among the big animals there was a small beetle that could barely be seen by any of the larger animals.

As the king passed by, all the animals bowed in respect towards him. Meanwhile, the very small beetle kept looking up but made the mistake of looking directly at the king. The lion then asked her to bow before him and the beetle responded with, "But Your Majesty, I am bowing."

"You are so small. I can't see you bowing before me." The king replied.

Then the beetle asked the lion king to look at her closely, however the weight of the jewels, crown and robe, made the king very top-heavy so when he leaned down to look closer he lost his balance, fell on his head and rolled over and over in the mud.

And while the Lion had been busy making a fool of himself to his other subjects, the little beetle scurried away out of sight. The moral of this story is this: pride cometh before the fall.

You could say Negan had some big ego issues which is why he is understandably the Lion in this tale and while there may not be death at the end of this story, I at least resolved to make him look like a fool as often as I could manage it if he would insist on turning attention towards me.

During the days my father was away people continued to distract me with chores and tasks in his absence. Michonne and Carl took up the majority of that time by making me take care of the dogs, helping Gabriel with the sheep, or giving me this and that sort of job and task if there was ever a moment when I appeared to be idle.

Just like Dad promised I was never allowed to be left alone. I suppose he expected I would go AWOL the first chance I got.

Well… he'd probably be right then.

It was infuriating to have eyes on me all the time but Michonne absolutely refused to let me go anywhere without someone. Finally I said something about it.

"Come on, Michonne. I get Dad being this overbearing but I thought you might ease up a little."

"Boss's orders, honey."

"You know I'm capable of being out there. I've lasted on my own out there for years."

"I'm sure you are, but this is a punishment and you're going to do your time just like anyone else."

I was silent as we continued to weave the basket packs we were working on. We worked in silence preferring to cater to our wondering thoughts over speaking out loud when something started to bother me just then.

"Michonne, how big do catfish get?"

"It depends on where you're at and what species it is." She said. "In the Mississippi they can grow to be as large as small whales."

"…Do they really?"

"Yep."

My shoulders dropped at the confirmation. I had really held out the hope that Negan was a character made of nothing but lies and deceit. It galled me like no other to find that that farfetched tale had been truthful after all.

Ah who cared?! So he told the truth this one time. It didn't make him less of the monster he was.

The end of the three days finally came and the morning of I paced the porch anxious and waiting till something finally drew my attention towards the gate.

Words could not describe the relief that swept over me at the sight of my dad driving into town just as he said. For three agonizing days I waited, fearing that something terrible would happen. His bad leg would slow them down. He would be killed or bitten. I was sure of it and the agony of that prediction tore me up.

But then they both rolled inside the fence and I could barely contain my relief at the sight of him. I ran forward as he unloaded from the car and nearly toppled him over as I embraced him hard.

It seems my witchy spells were still working at least. The comfrey protection pouches I'd hidden in their left pockets did their jobs well enough, so that was a large relief that some things could go right for once.

They didn't find a whole lot unfortunately, mostly junk that could probably be recycled into somewhat useful tools. The most valuable things were some chickens and a duck they'd found around an abandoned farm, but otherwise the rest wasn't all that impressive and when Negan came the next day he was even less overwhelmed at the sight of it.

Today Negan didn't want to talk to my dad. When he entered he brushed the man promptly off and demanded to know where I was. At the mention I materialized behind him, making him jump slightly by my stealth.

"Jeeze, kid, we need to get you a bell or something!" Then he put a hand on my shoulder and asked me to take him to his offering today. He ordered my dad to help them load up the supplies while he spoke with me though.

"Is this it?" He asked, an eyebrow raised and clearly unimpressed by the meager load.

I nodded.

"Did you find this stuff all on your own?"

My teeth clenched. "Not all of it."

His hand on my shoulder tightened slightly. His voice was low and he leaned a bit down to my ear. "And you wouldn't lie to me, sweetie, would you?"

My heart jumped a bit by that and I could feel an uneasy sweat break out at the back of my neck.

"No." I said a bit too quickly.

The silence that stretched was pure agony. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes." I declared without missing a beat.

"Strange… because from what I know about you, your element seems to be more for the forest and fresh foods than these… hard goods here. Plus I don't suspect you'd be able to go very far on just your legs, unless you can drive. Can you drive? Somehow, that wouldn't surprise me much."

"No, I can't drive. I just went with them on a supply run."

"Oh yeah. And who's them?"

"Aaron and my dad."

"Where did you find all that stuff?"

"An old barn."

"You sure? I was under the impression that everything from here to Pennsylvania was probably picked clean by now."

"I guess we just got lucky, then."

He looked down at me and steered me away, touring the town with me as his guide. He already knew it well enough, but I guess he just wanted to talk with me alone. I didn't want to but there was nothing I could do about it.

Glare and bear it, I told myself. Just glare and bear it.

"You know, Judy, I know plenty about your brother and your daddy, but I know so little about you. Strange isn't it?"

"Not really." I knew why he didn't know much about me and he did, too. He was just being coy.

"Well I think I'd like to take this opportunity to get to know you a little better."

"I already told you I was an open book, nothing much interesting to know."

"Bullshit." He snapped, resorting back to his usual profanity. The more he talked the darker his tone got and the greater my apprehension grew. "You're not an open fucking book. You killed my girl Lucille. Now you might think she was just an inanimate object. An inconsequential piece of wood wrapped carefully with barbed wire… not something to be cherished, but you'd be dead fucking wrong."

Just then he turned me to face him and I saw the complete unnerving look in his eye. He looked utterly wrathful.

"Lucille was a lady… but at times, yeah… she wasn't so nice… truth is… Lucille was a cold hearted bitch. But she was my bitch. That bitch saved my life more times than I could remember. She's the only bitch I ever truly loved." He gripped my shirt and I was so scared I thought for a moment I might wet myself for how petrified I was.

"I don't fucking care if you're a kid. In my book if you so much as hit my girl against something she didn't like you ought to be dead. You want to know a secret? Up until you shattered her like a fucking stained glass window I really liked you. You're like your brother. I never had kids of my own but when I saw your brother, got the chance to know him I thought to myself, if I ever did have a fucking kid, I'd want a kid like this fucking kid. And then I met you and… fuck, you might say I'm jealous as hell of your old man. Tough, resourceful fucking kids he's got… the both of you."

I couldn't speak, or think of anything other than his words. What was I supposed to say to something like that? Were there any words after hearing something so insane? I just stayed quiet.

"So you're going to compensate for it by telling me about you. I'm going to ask you a question, and if you don't fucking tell me the truth… I'll make sure you never even think about lying to me again. Got it?"

Mechanically my head nodded up and down. In the back of my mind I panicked. Most of the truth he might not believe or was so dangerous not even my own family knew about it. Despite consequences I couldn't risk my secrets like that.

I just couldn't!

"Alright then," and his demeanor changed so suddenly it made my head spin. One minute he was looking like he would tear my throat open and the next he looked totally at ease. "Let's see then, oh right; did you really find that supplies for me?"

My head turned down as I rubbed my arm shakily and shook my head once in response to his question.

"I thought so." He huffed. "Now why didn't you do as I say?"

"I'm… I'm grounded." I said softly. "Dad thought I could be more useful around town."

"Shame… it seemed like you were plenty useful before. Let's see if we might be able to change your dad's mind on that."

"I'll talk to him tonight." I said quickly, before Negan could make his way towards my father. "We'll work something out."

"Wouldn't want you to get into even more trouble on my account. Maybe I should have a word with him. I'm sure I can make him see reason."

I could hear the double meaning of that phrase and I knew just how Negan would make my father see reason. "I think I should really learn how to handle these problems on my own." I offered delicately. "The challenge… helps me grow."

"Maybe, but it's never wrong to ask for help every once in a while."

"Of course," I said uneasily. Why couldn't he just take no for an answer? "And if I ever need help on something I'll be sure to ask."

I wouldn't ask him for water if I was on fire!

I'd rather eat tar or willingly fall to my death over a precipice with a stampede of water buffalo right under my back! Better to let go on my own than let him sink his claws in me and give him the satisfaction.

"You much prefer working alone, don't you?"

I didn't really, but it was better to work alone than risk having an accomplice I couldn't trust. I couldn't always rely on Enid's help. She had other things she had to tend to. Still, it was better to pretend that was true rather than risk anymore suspicion. "I think people… slow me down. It's easier working alone and I can go where I want to without someone filling the silence with noise and attracting attention from walkers and scaring away game."

"So you hunt?"

"Nothing big, like deer or dogs. Just birds and small animals and fish, really."

"What do you use to hunt with… oh right; your slingshot. The one you traded to me was very well made. Did you get a replacement yet?"

The Luci slingshot burned in my pocket and my heart sped more than it did before. The sweat on my neck grew hotter and slicker. "I haven't… really had an opportunity to go out for a while."

"I know. But did you replace it?"

I tried not to look down at it, but my voice trembled and I was starting to panic a little. "Um… y-yes. Sort of."

"Let me see it then."

I snatched it from my back pocket, holding it behind my back as sweat grew over my palm, making it slippery. My hand trembled over it and grew very agitated while I fumbled over my words. "Well… I-I haven't t-tested it you see, and I'm… I'm not sure if it's even..."

"Give it here. Let me see it."

I stared back at him, clearly terrified but there was no way I could get out of it, not unless I decided to chuck it in the lake, and I was pretty sure that would make things a whole lot worse than they were already. I doubted I'd be able to pull off another Lucille toss and get away with it a second time.

Negan wanted the slingshot and he would get the slingshot even if he had to pry it from my cold dead hands. Trembling all over, I placed it in his outstretched hand. He traced over the horseshoe and stretched the band experimentally.

"This isn't as nice as the one you gave me."

That comment would have made me smirk if I already wasn't so scared. Then I saw his face sober as he discovered the name on the shaft and we both froze. I forgot how to breathe and I didn't dare look into his eyes, preferring to keep my gaze on the ground while I waited for his reaction.

Then I heard him chuckle.

"This is so fucking adorable." He pronounced. I looked up and saw him grinning wide. "Did you really name this thing after my girl?"

"I…"

"No wait. This is from her handle isn't it?"

I couldn't move.

"You fashioned your new slingshot out of what was left of my Lucille. That's just the sweetest little thing I could have ever imagined."

I stared at him in shock. That hadn't been what I was expecting, or hoping for really. I kept the thing with the image of him being so infuriated about it but also being unable to emotionally respond to it other than throwing it away or giving it back. This reaction was wildly unexpected.

"I didn't…" I began, uncertain how I could respond to this development.

"I want to see how it works." He said, putting it back in my hands and placing his own on my shoulders to steer me towards a back yard. "Are you a good shot? You must be if you can manage hunting so well." He pointed to a spot on the wall. "Can you hit that stain?"

"I—I think so."

"You think so?"

"All slingshots feel different. I usually need to break into it, first."

"Well… don't let me stop you."

On edge with the audience today I scoured the ground with an adequate rock. When I found it I took aim at the wall, but I was trembling so hard that I could barely keep my grip on it. When the projectile set sail it struck the wall two feet above the stain. Negan scoffed.

"Pitiful." He mocked. "Are you sure you're a hunter?"

His words galled me. Of course I was a hunter. I was just nervous that one time. I could hit it! I crouched down and looked for more rocks. When I stood again I took aim like before, only this time, I was fuelled by anger rather than fear. Angry and confident shooting always had the best results.

I struck it dead center that time and Negan whistled low. "Well then, I stand corrected. Pretty impressive. Do you kill roamers out there with that thing?"

I nodded. "Their heads are usually pretty rotted out, so they can be killed easily."

"How else do you deal with them?"

"Well… they're pretty stupid once you know how to control them. They'll follow anything that makes a sound or moves so if I keep that in mind, I can detour them pretty well. Also I'm faster and I can dodge around them okay. I don't usually worry about trying to kill them if I don't have to."

"Fuck…" He said looking at me in a way that set me on edge. "You know, they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." He lifted the hand holding the slingshot and I followed his gaze to the word Luci. "You're flattering me way too much there, sweetheart."

I hated the delight he got with it. If I'd known he would take such pleasure in this I would have just thrown it away. "Well I needed a new one." I scoffed. "Supplies are limited at the moment and sometimes I have to improvise."

That didn't discourage him though.

"It's like she's living on somehow." He said fondly, and I hated it. I hated it so much! He only continued though. "It's like this is some kinda little daughter she left behind. That's comforting to me. It's seems almost appropriate, don't you think? Your own mother died bringing you into the world now didn't she?"

My mouth went dry instantly and my voice caught in my throat by those words. "How do you know about that?"

"Your brother and I have had our little chats before. As it turns out I know about that day very well." And he laughed in a way that made my skin crawl. "You should know how traumatic that experience was for him. How fucking much it messed him up. Does he ever talk about it with you?"

I shook my head, my voice growing tight with the knowledge that he would be privy to something so incredibly personal and invasive. "Dad and Carl don't talk about it."

"Do you know anything about that day?"

"I know everything about that day." I stated quietly.

"You do, huh? And who told you about that charming little bedtime story?"

I wasn't going to answer him. Mom had come to me nearly every night to tell me that story while I was growing. I still found the story of the rose bud so beautiful, but it was Maggie who filled in some of the grimmer details for me. She had been gentle about it, but it still didn't banish the thought that somehow my mom's death was in some way my fault. Maggie had been very firm in explaining that none of it was in any way my doing and that it was simply a series of unforeseen events that no one had any control over.

After that it was a reoccurring dream that often haunted me in later years. Some things might have change a bit; the true events might become mixed with elements of the fairytale, the rose bush might come to life and strangle my mother, or I didn't bloom from the bud my brother picked, but wilted and withered away. Those were the worst dreams of all.

"I can't remember who it was anymore." I said in that same quiet tone.

"Like hell you don't remember."

"I don't." I said more firmly. "I can't remember who told me first."

He scrutinized me, as if trying to detect if I was lying or not. He must not have seen it because he went on. "Bet that really screwed you up, didn't it? Finding out you killed your mom like that."

"I. Did. Not. Kill. My. Mom." I growled darkly. "It was all just a bunch of unforeseen circumstances that no one had any control over." Then I looked him in the eye, my voice growing low and alien while I stared back at him with a deadly, vengeful expression. "Don't ever try and convince me otherwise."

Negan was silent for a moment while he took in my expression; dark and furious and sinister, and I saw for a brief moment the unease lurking behind his gaze as he looked back at me. Even with that he still tried to look like it hadn't shaken him.

"Of course not. You were just a baby. You were in no way responsible for what happened." He said in a voice that could have been mistaken as sympathetic. "No. Your brother was the one that had the honors, wasn't he?"

I didn't say anything.

"Carl was the one to shoot her in the head, wasn't he?"

"Shut up." I murmured.

"He shot your mama dead, didn't he?"

"I said SHUT UP!" I looked up at him with rage, wanting to take the knife in my boot and slice it across his throat at the mention. He had no right to talk about that subject. None at all! "You don't know anything about it, SO SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH ALREADY!"

In all honesty I didn't know a whole lot about it either, but I knew the ghost of it. I saw it on Carl and Dad's faces all the time. I saw it in the way they sometimes looked at me. Those two tried to hide the regret and anguish of that day but sometimes it lingered on their faces while they were looking at me.

"Ooh," Negan said smiling interestingly. "Using grownup words now are we? It looks like I touched a nerve there. Does that bother you? Talking about your mom?"

I didn't say anything, choosing to fix my gaze on an anthill rather than concentrating on Negan and the look of pure glee on his face. It delighted him to get under my skin like that and the more I responded the more pleasure he took from it. I shouldn't have been so easy to read.

Bury it, I thought. Bury it all deep. Don't respond, anymore. Just close it all off.

But there must have been something on my face making Negan pause for a moment. Just then his voice changed to something remorseful. "Ah jeeze. I'm sorry, Judy. It's easy to forget you're just a kid. I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings."

Hearing him address me by name jarred something in me and I felt immeasurable offense by such a suggestion. "You can't hurt my feelings." I announced glaring at the ant hill. "Hurting my feelings would imply that your opinion matters… and it doesn't."

That interested him greatly and even if I didn't see it, I knew there was an amused spark that lit in his eyes and his tone by those words. "Oh it doesn't, does it?"

"No."

"Then you know what I think?" He asked delightfully.

"Just because your opinion doesn't matter, doesn't mean I'll stand and listen to it." I countered sternly.

He stepped right up to me, using his enormous size to intimidate me, his voice low and threatening. "You know, you talk a big talk and fuck if you weren't so small I might have even forgotten you were a kid," He paused letting it sink in before his voice dropped again. "But I think you're forgetting who you're talking to. So drop the attitude or I'll bend you over my knee, you hear?"

Right after he said such a thing my mind leapt to conclusions and I backed away hastily with my hands going to my behind.

"O-OH?! And touch my bottom!" I shrieked at him, appalled entirely by the idea. "That's all you've been after from the start is my bottom! CHILD LOVER!"

I imagined him as a hundred different horrible things; murderer, warlord, bully, thug, thief, raider, intruder… but I didn't think he'd be one of those. Yet the more I thought of it I realized it made a horrible kind of sense with his uncomforting interest in me now. I mean, it was just one brief meeting in the woods for goodness sakes! THE SICKO!

His face changed drastically at the new development. First he looked confused as if he'd thought I would go quiet by his threat instead of shriek with worry, then he looked appalled by the accusation.

"No! That's not what I… How do you even know what a child lover is? You're like eight!"

"You don't even deny it!" I cried out in disgust, ignoring the urge to correct him on my age. "THAT'S GROSS! YOU'RE GROSS!"

He looked sincerely angry and disgusted by such a suggestion. "I am a whole lot of fucked up stuff, but child lover will never be one of those."

"Yeah right!" I hissed, digging in my pocket and grabbing the spray bottle inside it. I held it threateningly, ready to throw it at him if he moved in a way I disliked. "Get away from me!"

His brow cocked at the sight of it. "Is that supposed to be pepper spray?"

"No." I said, looking at him like he was a complete idiot, because really, where in the world would I get pepper spray? "It's poison ivy oil—stings like a bitch and it will blind you… I think… pretty sure it will. I haven't really tested it out yet. It's sort of still on its trial run. Don't make me use you as a lab rat!"

The threat made him pause as he processed what I had just said. Then his hand went to his mouth as he tried to unsuccessfully hide a smile and stifle a snort. "You… had that in your pocket?"

"I don't have pepper spray." I explained. "But I can improvise."

We both turned as someone approached. Dad stood in front of us looking concerned and eager for Negan to leave already. He wasn't the only one. When he saw me pointing the perfume bottle at the man his brow dropped in confusion.

"Judith, what are you doing?"'

"I believe your daughter was going to spray me with… poison ivy oil was it?"

"Negan's a child lover!" I blurted in my defense. "He's gross and old and it was self-defense—or it would have been."

"Fuck, I am not a ch—!"

"You're supplies is loaded." Dad interrupted coming to my side and putting his hand on my shoulder in a clearly protective manner.

"It sounds as if you're trying to get rid of me, Rick. Is that what you're trying to do?"

"Picked up on that di—," Dad slapped a hand over my mouth before I had time to finish my insult, speaking over my words.

"I don't imagine you'd like hanging around here more than you have to, especially when you have all that supplies to unload and sort through." He looked down at my head while I struggled to worm out of Dad's hold on me so I could spew more insults at the horrible man. He wordlessly kicked me in the pants, reminding me to mind my manners once again.

I stopped struggling and held my rear where he booted it. Geez… right in the tailbone…

"I guess the company isn't all that great now that you mention it." Negan said looking with distain down at me. Then he stepped up to Dad, glaring at him with all the intimidation he possessed. "You're child's a brat, and you're fucking pissing me off! I know she didn't help find the shit I specifically asked for, Rick. I gave her a job to do, and if she's not going to do it, she'll be accompanying me to the Sanctuary to learn the sort of discipline she's so clearly lacking here, because from what I can tell from her behavior, you're a pretty crap-ass father."

I looked up to see Dad bristle by the line. He was a lot of things and he had done a whole lot of things, but where his kids were concerned he had done his absolute best and it was all he could do. He wouldn't let Negan of all people comment on his parenting abilities.

"We'll be back in a week and if I don't come back to something from her, I'll be taking someone's hand for it." He turned from us, yelling over his shoulder, "Keep that in mind."

And then he was gone at last.

Author's notes: End of chapter 14. Things are getting good and I'm so excited. Judith is so sassy! I love writing her.

Guys keep up the reviews. I love, love, love hearing your thoughts! XD They really keep the story moving along.