Chapter 17
Creatures of Joy and Woe

Joy and Woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine,
Under every grief and pine,
Runs a joy with silken twine,
It is right it should be so,
We were made for joy and woe,
And when this we rightly know,
Through the world we safely go.

~by William Blake, December 2005

When the rain had stopped the next morning the road was a mess of fallen branches and trees littering everywhere. One or two walkers lined the area, pinned by debris and reaching out for some way to work free and keep on wondering in search of living meat like they hungered for.

It wasn't hard to convince the three children to come with me. They seemed to understand that the dead weren't going to come near me and as such it was safest at my side verses braving the wilds on their own. I think it may have also worked by being a child myself and they were able to trust someone near their ages easier than they were an adult. It was just safest that way.

In their shoes, I would probably think the same.

Of course, they didn't wear shoes or even proper coats and when I observed their feet I noticed cuts, dirt and blisters marring them from their toes to their ankles. Before continuing, I kicked off my own boots and put them on Mari. For Tanti, I took off my cloak and wrapped it around her, keeping her warm in the damp morning air. For our footwear, I tore up part of the upholstery from the car seats and wrapped them over her feet and my own. That at least provided some form of cushioning while we walked. I offered to carry their bag for them as well, but they wouldn't part from it. The little they had in all the world was in that bag and I didn't blame them for wanting to keep it with them.

I hobbled along the road on my crutch with them in tow walking close to my side. Mari carried their little brother and after a time Tanti reached out to hold my hand as we walked. It was nice and I didn't shrug her off but looked down and smiled to her.

In time we reached a road I recognized.

"Only three more miles to go." I announced to my traveling companions. We were already tired and had to stop between every half-mile for breaks before the walls of Alexandria came into view. I could see someone on the lookout just as they spotted me and yelled out to open the gate.

I picked up the pace and when the screen and bars began to slide back revealing my father sprinting towards me, I released my grip on my crutch and the girl's hand to limp rapidly towards him.

The moment he reached me all the weight on my bad leg left as I was lifted into his arms. I thought I would be crushed by how hard he held me, and I was unashamed to say that if that was how I was going to die, caringly crushed by someone I loved, that was alright with me; until I realized I really needed air to appreciate it.

"Dad… Dad…" I wheezed, patting him on the shoulder. "You're crushing me."

He squeezed me once more before loosening his grip enough to look me over.

"Are you alright? Are you okay?"

"Yeah… yeah I'm fine. Is… is Negan gone?" I asked hesitantly my mind flitting back to the blood and the guts and the look of horror on Spencer's face while he died and then the grin on Negan's while he watched.

Relief flooded my senses when my dad nodded. "Yes."

I sighed and then I noticed my companions off to the side. "I made some new friends." I told him. He put me down and I leaned against him as I introduced them. They seemed to huddle up though, wary of this intimidating newcomer. They only eased after they had seen the heartfelt exchange between us. So I assumed they predicted our relationship and could figure out this wasn't someone they needed to be afraid of.

"This is Tanti, Mari, and Luis." I announced.

Dad attempted a smile for them and I led them in by the hand.

The children were well received by the town. Kids were so rare to find these days, there were only about fourteen in the whole town and new young faces were greatly welcomed.

First we went to the infirmary where Olivia and Heath looked over our injuries. I really did have a sprain which they wrapped in a cast. I was ordered to stay off my feet for a few weeks, something I was not looking forward to but knew it was for my own good either way. Thankfully I wouldn't need stitches for the cut above my eye, and I was commended for the insight to apply the catnip on it as they dressed it with proper bandages now.

Afterwards the other children were looked over. During the examination I stood by to show them that nothing bad was about to happen to them. I stayed within sight and that seemed to ease their anxiety, so long as they could stay to watch after their siblings.

They were deeply malnourished and had several infections on their feet, where blisters and welts had developed. The boy's hand seemed to have been clumsily chopped off, probably due to a walker bite some time ago. It looked even worse than I imagined now that it was unwrapped—like a branch that had been caught in a wood chipper.

Heath suggested getting him to Hilltop, where the surgeon was so they could perform an operation to make it look a little less… butchered. For the moment they could only do their best.

After a while we decided it might have been easier if they were bathed first and I volunteered to look after them while they did so. After all, I myself was in need of a good wash and chose to lead them to my house to get that squared away. Michonne helped as we cautiously went about it. At first I offered to let them handle it on their own, but Tanti didn't want me to leave and took my hand desperately as an indication to make me stay.

I had never seen a sorrier sight than those children without their clothes. They were dirty, grimy, and so thin they were more bone than anything else. Their whole bodies were covered with welts and scars, revealing that they had been severely beaten by their previous guardians. Their situation, whatever it had been, must have been bad enough that they would rather risk death from exposure or walkers than stay in whatever conditions they lived in before.

I wanted to cry at the sight of it all, but I reeled it in till they were finished.

Afterwards when they were cleaned, dressed, and their wounds had been handled properly we all sat down at the dining table and were given some light broth and bread to eat. I could certainly handle a bit more, but the others weren't able to stomach anything stronger than that.

Michonne told me that eating would be hard for them until they were able to work up their appetites again and it was going to be some time before they regained their strength for it. Their road to recovery was expected to be very long and hard.

"We'll need to figure out a place for them to stay." Dad told me.

"They can have my room." I offered immediately. "I'll sleep on the couch."

He traded a look with Michonne.

"It… could work for a few days," She suggested, "just until we find something more permanent for them."

He paused, but eventually nodded. "Alright. If you want to get them set up, that would be fine."

I led them up to my room once they were done eating. The moment they were all tucked in on the soft mattress they were out, curled up close and snoring lightly.

With them sleeping, I was at last able to take care of my own needs. It always amazed me what a hot shower and some clean clothes can do for someone after being through a traumatic and exhausting experience. I did feel much better and later when I set my bed up downstairs my dad came down to talk to me.

This was the moment I had been anticipating. Here was where he was bound to lecture and shout at me for running off and making him worry.

I didn't look at his face while I braced for it, but then he surprised me.

His hand came to rest on my shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"I'm proud of you." He said from out of nowhere.

Stunned by this odd development, my head shot back to gaze at him.

"You—you're proud of me?" I repeated unable to believe this development. "But I thought for sure you were going to be furious and ground me again."

Dad just smiled.

"I thought so, too." He admitted. "You were gone for two whole days and when I didn't find you at the island I was scared shitless that I was going to find you dead… or worse. Then those two storms blew in and it took Carl, Michonne, and Aaron together to keep me from running straight into all of it to find you. You scared me to death, Judith."

My head bowed in shame at the sound of his anguished tone. "I'm so sorry, Dad. I swear I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't, but if you hadn't gotten lost you would never have found those kids and they would either still be wondering around on their own or they'd be dead. Lesser people might've even left them to die, but you led them back here and for that they're alive because of it."

"I just… did what was right."

"You did, and I'm proud of you for that." Then he took a big breath of air as he mentally prepared himself for the next thing he said, "Which is why… I've decided to let you apprentice with Aaron and me."

My mouth dropped as I looked back at him, voice squeaking in disbelief as if certain I had misheard him "Whaaaaaaaat!"

Dad went on, smiling a bit by my tone and expression. "I think it's time you started learning a trade and I think this is your calling. Summer break is coming in a few weeks, which gives you plenty of time for that ankle to heal. By then, you should be able to start work."

I couldn't find the words. I wasn't even sure if this was really happening. The blanket I had been spreading over the couch dropped from my hands as my crutch and one good leg moved me around the room in a hurried pace.

"This is—is this really happening? Are you serious? Am I really doing this? Ohmygosh! I'm… I don't have words! This is happening!" Then I looked back at him, stunned and hopeful. "Are you serious? Are you seriously serious?"

His hands clasped mine and it was then I felt the true gentleness of his strength in them. "I am. I see now I can't stop you from going out there. I could try, but that'd probably be useless and not very productive. Michonne and I talked more about it and I think this is the best way." He put his hands on my shoulders and stared straight into my eyes. "You're a provider and a warrior, Judith Grimes, and you chose to be those things without anyone telling you to, and I know you will always put your people first. If you keep following this path, someday you will even become a great leader and when that day comes I want to be there to see it."

There were no words I could think of to adequately describe the joy in me. A lump formed in my throat and tears sparkled in my eyes as I wrapped my arms around him and there seemed to be only one thing I could say to tell him what this meant to me.

"Daddy…"

Over the next few weeks the same time it took for my ankle to heal I used that time to get to know the new additions of our community.

I started calling them the Waifs and it seemed like the nickname took pretty well with everyone. Their recovery was slow going as they began to build up the fat and muscle they had lost during their time of abuse from their former keepers and travels through the wilds. I encouraged them as often as I could and in time it was soon discovered that the three grew an almost inseparable interest in me.

Mari was the prettiest and when she started gaining more weight and the life began to return to her cheeks and skin she seemed in a way, almost dazzling to me. Clothed in one of my old dresses with a ribbon adorning her auburn hair she looked like an actual princess and at times it was hard to take my eyes off her.

Tanti was by far the sweetest little kid I had ever met, far sweeter than many of the kids around town, that was for sure. I didn't even mind her lip because once she grew on me, I didn't see it. Just as she had demonstrated back in the car, her voice was one of the sweetest I had ever heard from a living person. It had a strange ring to it that sounded in a way erutan. When she sang for the first time in the church with the echo of the rafters to resonate her voice, it brought tears to my eyes and anyone else who heard it.

Luis was the most docile of the three. Despite his missing hand, he was very eager to be picked up by anyone who would hold him. In time I found it was rather soothing to cradle him close to feel his steady breathing and fluttering heart. As curious as he was about this strange new town and residents, he remained rather reluctant to venture too far from any arms that ensured safety and protection.

He was such a timid little thing.

Despite being unable to speak English they were easy to get along with and I became a key participant in their journey through recovery and speaking. Often when there wasn't a whole lot to do around town, we would walk the length of the boundaries and I would point to random things, sounding out their English translation while they repeated it back to me.

It turned out though, that the language they were speaking was in fact Spanish and though there were several people around town that had taken classes a long, long time ago it was only Aaron and Eric, who were both fluent speakers.

During the Waifs first few days in town, the two men attempted to interpret for them while also explaining the ways of the town for the children. Having someone that could understand them made things infinitely better, especially as the adults began to discuss plans ensuring their welfare.

As much help as I offered in their journey towards recovery, it was nothing compared to what Sheriff and the other puppies did for them. All the animals served incredibly in that regards, but the dogs were the ones that helped the most.

They played with Sheriff so often, teasing and rolling around with him in the grass of our lawn. When they sat still, he sprawled next to them as they stroked back his fur. He even slept with them, curled up in a big cozy pile on the wool mattress in my room. They loved him so much that I didn't have the heart to separate them when it came time to get them settled in a permanent family.

In the end, it was Aaron and Eric that chose to take them. The two had wanted children even before the world collapsed on itself, but they had rather accepted the unlikelihood of such a thing ever happening for them now. Yet I suppose, in a way, it seemed like fate to them and when everyone started discussing the welfare for the three, they couldn't ignore the signs.

I was told the transition would be difficult. There would be large after effects of emotional trauma and scarring that would plague the children for years to come. It still wasn't entirely clear what all they had suffered and making them feel as safe as possible was very important.

There was a certain responsibility I felt for the three and I wasted no time in offering my own assistance to aid in their recovery.

"I'll be right down the street." I told Aaron and Eric as we got the children settled. "Anything you need; if they get scared in the middle of the night or one of them has a fit or a panic attack I'm right there and they'll see me every day so that should help. And Sheriff will be with them so… they'll be alright… I'm sure they will." It was hard reeling back the water but I swallowed through the lump in my throat and sniffed loudly hoping it would stop the tears before they fell.

Eric smiled, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder as he held the little boy in his arms. "Thank you, Judith."

I smiled back and turned my attention to Sheriff who pranced in place as he gazed at the circle of people surrounding him. I knelt to his level and the tone in my voice made him pause for a moment as he studied me with his wide brown eyes. Even though I was only a few doors down, I knew the relationship I had with this energetic mutt wasn't going to remain the same. They needed him more and I kept that in my heart as I took his little paw and squeezed it gently.

"I love you my brave boy."

He whined once and gave a small bark as I gave him a final pat goodbye before getting back to my feet.

I looked at them. The three children, the excited puppy, and the two new parents and for just a moment they all looked like the picture of a happy family. Something inside grew at the sight of it; something that I didn't have a name for, but it swelled in me, larger and bigger than my whole body. It wasn't heavy enough to crush me, but it was too big to really hold inside. Despite scars and strife and woe, I felt that this may work.

Oh god I prayed it would work.

Author's Notes: In honor of Pride Month this chapter is dedicated to the LGBTQIA community. For couples struggling to start their own families I've given Aaron and Eric kids as proof that even after the end of the world life goes on and people find ways to keep living.

From the words of Amelia Shepherd (Grey's Anatomy), always remember: Life Will Out.

On a more interesting note, I have this idea that Mari is the baby from the family that Daryl and Meryl rescued in season 3. It'll probably never come up in the story but I thought it might be interesting to share.