Chapter 23
Bearskin
It was warm in the forest. The air was rich and thick with the scent of trees and earth and animals. Everything was still. We crouched in a ditch, watching small birds flit by in flocks and on their own. At last we perked when something large caught our attentions; a buck, with branching antlers, appearing from the shrubbery as something almost regal.

It was almost saddening to shoot something so beautiful, but Aaron took aim with his bow and brought it down in two shots. It ran for a few feet before the wounds in its neck and shoulder brought it down for good. For added measure I tossed a knife at its skull, to give it a quicker death.

It was huge and even more beautiful up close, though the blood did mar the beauty slightly. I shared a look with Aaron and grinned.

"Wow! I've never seen a deer this big before."

"Me neither." Aaron stated, amazed by his own luck and skill.

"Nice job." I applauded. "This is gunna be great."

"Yeah… beautiful hide isn't it. Look at these antlers."

My smile was enormous as I jumped to my feet and turned. This would feed the town for weeks. "I'll go get the cart."

I was only gone for about ten seconds when I suddenly heard a roar and Aaron shouting. "Oh shit!"

Instinctively, I sprinted back as fast as I could, my mind leaping to walkers.

It wasn't the undead, but a bear; huge and towering, roaring right in Aaron's face. It struck me dumb by how enormous it was and for a moment I forgot how to speak. But then my eyes caught on my companion and I found my voice.

"Aaron!"

Despite my shout I saw the man freeze up worse than a deer in headlights. He should have drawn his weapon, but he didn't. He didn't even turn to run!

Why didn't he move? What was wrong with him?

Another roar shook the trees and a massive paw rose just then, claws the size of butter knives catching the sun. Instinct took over for me as I sprinted forwards and slammed into the man hard enough to knock him down. My interference probably saved his neck from a gash that would have killed him, but it did put my back in line to take that mauling. I heard the fabric of my shirt rip and searing claws scrape down the skin of my back.

The pain didn't register fully as all my senses clogged with adrenaline. It's amazing what someone can do when all fear flies out the window and whatever's left is merely the pure instinct to save what's important to you.

I jumped to my feet with a knife in my hand. I took aim and threw it directly into the beast's eye. There was a guttural wale of fury and pain from the beast and its balance was lost. It was too late for me to scramble backwards though, as I watched it toppling forward.

It was like a ton of bricks fell on me; hairy, cushiony, fat bricks.

I lied there with the weight of the bear pressing down on me, constricting and suffocating. Only my arm was free as I swatted the ground around me for a branch, a root, a hand to pull me out from under that crushing hairy monster. Finally, someone caught me and pulled me free enough to get my head out. I sucked in air, immediately grateful for the breeze that cooled my face.

Aaron gripped my hand tightly and pulled, tugging so hard I was afraid he'd pull my arm straight from the socket.

"Judith! Judith, are you alive? Say something!"

"Pull me out!"

I worked my other arm free to let him grab it and once he had both hands he tugged hard. With countless grunts and words of profanity he pulled me free from the animal and I scooted out, sucking in gasps of air and swallowing back spit to water my mouth.

A few seconds went by before Aaron sucked in sharply. He turned my back to face him and muttered low at the sight of it. "Oh god! Your back is a mess!"

With my mind fully focused on it now, I could feel the actual "mess" of it perfectly well. He led me to the wagon where the med kit was and fixed me up the best he was able. It was agony to move, but I stopped the cries and complaints I would have made otherwise as I sat on the wagon with my shirt off to let him view the damage easier.

"My god, look at you." He muttered, taking in the shape of me as he dressed the wound over my back. It probably wasn't as pretty as an actual doctor's work, but it would have to do for the moment. "Your father will kill me when he sees this."

"I doubt that." I announced holding still as the gauze wrapped around my middle. My eyes watered with pain and it was almost torture to hold back the whimpers. It would need stitches the moment we got back, but for the moment I'd walk it off. "W-we can't replace you. I'll be out of the game for a while but there's plenty of adults to take my place to help you."

"Don't talk like that, Judith." He insisted. "There is no one that can take your place. Seriously, there really isn't."

I said nothing to that till he was finally finished, wincing while I pulled my tattered shirt over my head and tried not to move in a way that the wounds didn't agree with. Out of the corner of my eye I watched Aaron gape when I jumped off the cart. "We can't stay out here. We've got to get you back, right now."

I shook my head, moving towards the game. "No, we need to get these into the cart."

He looked at me like I was out of my mind. "We can't worry about them right now. We have to get you to the infirmary."

"We can do that later." I insisted, ignoring the sting on my back as much as I possibly could. "I'll be fine. Really. But these we've got to get on there right now. I'm not letting a bear and a buck go to waste because I got scratched."

"It's much more than just a scratch, Judith."

"It doesn't matter!" I snapped, brushing the pain aside while I stepped up to them and considered what the best course of action would be for hauling the large carcasses in the cart. "You can help me or not, but I'm not letting these go to waste out here. I won't."

"Jesus, Judith, you've just been mauled!"

"I don't care about me!" I yelled without thinking.

He stared at my back and I could only imagine the look of total shock while I myself looked down at our two kills, stunned myself. I hadn't even realized that was what I thought of myself. Did I really not care about my own wellbeing?

Aaron sounded appalled when he finally spoke. "Well you might not care a whole lot, but there are still other people that give a damn about you, Judith, and the last thing they would want you to do is kill yourself over some deer steaks and a bear rug."

"It's not just that…" I explained. I couldn't really understand it myself. What was this obsession I had with providing for our family? And yes, now that I really thought of it, I considered it an obsession. But why did I drive myself? Why did I push myself so unnaturally, when others would take things slow? Why was I like this?

"I… don't know why, but this is important. Not just to the town, but to me, too, okay. It's life and death. If I'm killing something, there's a purpose for it. It's not meaningless, alright! I'm not going to waste lives!"

"No one ever said you did."

"Well I don't want to start then. So, help me with these. They're going to feed the living, not the dead, alright!"

I lowered the ramp we had as close to the animals as we could, then I grabbed the old tow ropes. Unable to stop me, Aaron did his work to help. Through some clever ingenuity on Aaron's part, we were able to create a sort of pulley using the ramp, ropes and horse's strength in order to load the animals on the cart. It was hard and took longer than an hour to really figure out and set it up. Plus, I had to work through the gouges on my back; a feat that proved painful and unbearably difficult. But I knew that if I looked like I was in pain, Aaron was going to insist on going back before we were done, so I swallowed back the tears and tried to think of other things.

Only when we at last got them loaded up, were we allowed to be on our way. The exertion just about made me pass out and I could tell from the wetness on my back that the claw marks were bleeding again and making the wrappings sticky and crusty when they started to dry.

My head bowed where I sat in the cart and a cold sweat doused my forehead while my head spun like a top, making the world blurry and offset.

Just then, we rounded a corner of a high building and Aaron hissed sharply.

"Oh shit!"

Alerted by his tone I looked up and saw the culprits to his terror. An enormous herd of the dead bard our way and rambled straight for us. From the size of it, I was lucid enough to estimate there had to be at least a hundred in that one herd alone. The horse bucked and neighed, kicking on his front hooves upon the herd's resounding moan of greeting. Aaron began to back the cart up, but I stopped him. I was too drained and in too much pain to let him find an alternate road back home or to let him disastrously fight our way through. And even if we did turn, the herd would be on us in no time. There was only one way out of here.

I put a hand on his arm. "Don't! There's no time."

"We've got to get out of here!" He shouted reaching for his bow and quiver, ready to abandon our kills and livestock for a distraction as we ourselves got away.

But I only slipped from the cart and limped towards the horse's reigns, attempting to calm the animal.

"Judith! JUDITH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

I ignored him and turned to the herd. At the sight of me, the nearest walker stopped dead in its tracks. Its reaction was like a strange ripple through the herd. It stopped advancing and swayed in its spot. In seconds, all the ones that had me in sight did the same while the ones behind them followed the reaction of the others like sheep.

I could feel Aaron's reaction behind me, and knew without looking that he was speechless and still. He couldn't move a muscle.

But just when he froze, the walkers began to move, ambling away from me and suddenly disinterested in our cart, our animals, or us.

I walked forwards and the horse followed uncertainly, but only when it saw the dead bodies dispatch almost like a crowd of regular people. Aaron stayed in his seat on the cart, unable to move or speak. Maybe he was afraid of breaking whatever spell I had over them with any noise.

It was like the red sea's parting or a boat cutting through a very still lake. The walkers just turned and chose a new direction where they would be as far from me as possible.

Finally, Aaron just couldn't hold back and tested the waters carefully, "H-how are you doing that?"

I didn't answer him. We broke through the herd eventually and our way home once more stood before us unobstructed. I led him all the way back and any walkers in our path turned tail at the sight of me. At last, the walls were in range and when my eyes fell on them, the strength left in me snapped away and I fell to the ground, exhausted and spent.

"Judith!" Aaron cried, jumping from his position and rushing towards me. Even close to the edges of unconsciousness I still felt his arms lift me up and put me on the seat of the cart before climbing up himself and whipping the reigns.

"Giddiup!"

The horse began to run after that and didn't stop till we had reached the gate and Aaron was yelling for them to open it quickly.

I've never been on a rollercoaster, but the way my head was spinning gave me the sensation that I was rushing up in a winding loop. My back was enflamed, but I felt no energy to move or respond to it. I just tried to hold still. Shouts were being tossed around when we got through, though nothing coherent. I could recognize some town's folk and a few Saviors among the voices and in a matter of moments I heard my own father's voice breaking through all the others.

I could also hear the Waifs' trembling voices as they gathered on the side, talking to Aaron frantically in Spanish, probably asking what had happened and why I was hurt.

Then someone took me in their arms, taking extra care not to touch my bleeding back. From the strength of the one who held me, I predicted it must have been Dad. Unfortunately, I wasn't responsive enough to really say much or to even open my eyes. All the feeling from my body was draining and my mouth was dry and papery from growing dehydration.

But despite the chaos in my body, there seemed to still be the lingering need to reassure him. "I'll… be okay, Dad… I'll be… okay…"

I had just enough sensation to feel a bed under my stomach as Dad lied me out. There were more offset voices, one of which I recognized as Tobin's. That was about when I assumed he would start whatever treatment or procedure was needed on me.

Without warning of any kind, someone poured flaming gasoline on my back. The fire ignited my opened wound and my body reacted instinctively to it, desperate to find an escape from the fire.

I think I screamed, loud enough to shake the walls it felt like.

Why, oh why would they do something like that to me?

A force like hands and arms pinned me back down while I tried to struggle. My eyes opened when something was pressed to my mouth and through the blur of tears I saw Michonne offer me a piece of wood to bite down on. People were saying different things, using different tones of voice while I tried to buck them off. The fire lasted only a few seconds before it was doused, but then there was stabbing, of something thin and long and it winded through my skin, pulling and tugging it back together.

Whimpers escaped me as they continued and hot tears continued to leak from my face. It lasted forever and ever, and even beyond that.

There were gentle coaxing voices while it all persisted, carrying encouraging tones, but those words were drowned over the sound of the ring of the needle in my ears. They took their time in wrapping it all up and that involved more movement and binding.

Finally, finally, it was all over and the world was still at last.

There was more talking above me and a new hand was on my shoulder, rousing me carefully.

I concentrated on focusing on the voice and suddenly smelt something steaming being pressed under my nose.

"Judith, we need you to drink this, okay." It was my dad, offering me a tin cup of something hot. "It'll help with the pain and put you to sleep."

I wasn't sure if I could down anything other than water. My mouth and throat were both dry but my stomach was queasy.

"Do I have to?" I moaned.

"Only if you don't want to be awake in pain all night."

Moving carefully, I tipped the cup and downed what tasted like honeyed willow tea and poppy oil, allied with a few more complimenting herbs along with it. It was a weak sort of painkiller and tranquilizer but it was the only thing we really had to use here. Some of it dripped down my chin, but I did my best to finish the whole thing with my father's insistence. Then I lied back and waited for sleep to take me. It wasn't long.

I had already been exhausted but this at least settled the ache and dizziness in my brain enough to find a peace in all the chaos.

Oblivion opened its arms to me and I fell into the embrace like it was a consoling parent. There was such safety in the depths of that void.

Author's Notes: Cat's out of the bag, everyone! What we've been waiting for finally arrived! YAY! Things are going to be getting good from here on out. If I can get a few more comments for this chapter I'm going to post maybe two more chapters this week. I've also written this chapter from both Negan and Rick's POVs so I'll post that as well.

Thank you everyone for you're wonderful support and keep up those reviews. Luv ya!