Phoebe Grey's Life: College Edition

by Greyfamily6179

Hi you guys! This is the second part of my story Phoebe Grey's Life. You will have to read Phoebe Grey's Life to understand this part. Thank you all for your support! *COMPLETE*

3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

(Hi y'all hope you are all enjoying the story! Thank you guys for your support. Chapter four should be up in the next two weeks:)

SEPTEMBER

I am not ready to go back to school. This summer was the most amazing summer. I got to babysit the Cruz kids and love on them. Drew is a year old now! It is so crazy how fast they grow.

"Okay I think you are all settled in," my mom says as we finish my room in the apartment.

"It looks great in here, Bubs," my dad says and I nod smiling.

"I think so too. Thank you guys for helping me," I say and they both hug me.

My mom decorated my room mostly. It is white with pink and gold accents. I have a queen size bed and it's a novelty. I loved my dorm, but the twin size bed didn't do it for me.

"Are you ready for sophomore year?" My mom asks as we head out to the common area. Maisy decorated it in greys and blacks and it looks amazing. I plop down on the couch.

"I could have done another month of summer," I say and they smile.

"It's a hard goodbye. I loved getting you home for a bit," My mom says and my dad nods.

"It is a hard goodbye, it was with Nathan too," I say.

"Well if you ever need us to come just call us," my dad says and I nod.

"I know that's the beauty of staying in state for college," I say.

"Okay sweetheart. We will give you peace, I know you have plans tonight," My mom says.

"It's just dinner here with some friends," I say and they smile.

"We don't want to interrupt that," my dad says as he comes over and gives me the biggest hug.

"I love you so much, Bubs," he says.

"I love you too, Dad," I say.

"Bye sweet girl, I love you," my mom says.

"Love you too," I smile as we hug.

"Okay, remember to be safe and call if you need us," My dad says.

"I know, I love you guys," I say as they head out after my dad gives me one more hug.

I am left in our apartment by myself. The girls went out to grocery shop. I sit down on the couch and turn on the TV. I look around the apartment. It is so nice, our kitchen is so cute, so is our dining room and a little living area.

I watch some HGTV and before I know it the door opens to Olivia and Maisy. I get up and help them carry the groceries in. We start putting stuff away as they talk about the store.

"Okay, so who's all coming tonight?" Olivia asks.

"Regan, Andrew, and maybe Kendra," I say.

"Aw yay, so we are ordering pizza right," Maisy says.

"Unless you are cooking," Olivia says.

"Yeah hell to the no," she says making us laugh.

"I got beer and appetizers though," she smiles and shows me.

"How'd you get the beer?" I ask.

"I'm 21 in Maryland," she says pulling out her fake ID. I laugh and shake my head.

"I'm showering and getting ready," I say and head out.

I shower and straighten my hair. I put on a little bit of makeup and get dressed. I wear jeans and a lace silk camisole. I walk out to see Maisy all ready and Olivia doing her makeup in the bathroom.

"Okay let's get some music playing, then I need a drink," Maisy says. She turns on our Alexa to dinner party music making me laugh.

"What?" She asks.

"Mase, we are 19, not 49, you can turn on some regular music," I say and she laughs and does.

Olivia walks out and grabs a beer. The doorbell rings and I open it to see Andrew and Regan. "Hey guys," I give Regan the biggest hug and when she walks away Andrew picks me up and spins me around.

"Grey, you look great," he says.

"Speak for yourself, I am so glad to see you," I say.

"I know, it has been too long without you," he says.

We walk inside and everyone has a beer and is talking about their summer. Andrew went to Ireland with his family and paraglided. Regan interned at her dad's business. Maisy well Maisy drank with her friends. And Olivia nannied for her cousins.

I tell them about the Cruz kids and hanging out with Ava and Nathan. My summer was so much fun and talking about it makes me miss home. I don't know why it is so hard to come back.

We sit down at the table and eat our pizza. The conversation flows easily. "Phoebe, what's your class schedule looking like? Any 8 am classes?" Maisy asks.

"Luckily no. My earliest is a 10am on Thursday's and Tuesday's. I have two classes on Wednesday and one on Monday," I say.

"I have an 8am in Wednesday's I don't know how I got screwed over with that," Maisy says.

"I'm guessing you are not going tomorrow?" I say.

"Oh hell no, over my dead body," she says and I laugh.

"Did you guys here Teek is having a toga party next Saturday?" Regan asks.

"No way, I've always wanted to go to one of those," Maisy says.

"What's a toga party?" Andrew asks.

"It's a Greek-themed party. You wear clothes made out of bed sheets to look like what the Greeks did," Maisy says.

"Great explanation," Olivia high fives her and we all laugh.

"It should look like this," Olivia shows Andrew a picture.

"Oh, that looks so fun. We are all going," Andrew says.

"Hell yeah we are, I'm excited," Olivia says.

The rest of the night we drink and talk about life and school. Regan starts to talk about when she went to a waterpark drunk. It makes me think back to this summer when Nathan and I took the Cruz kids to the water park.

(Flashback)

"Okay guys everyone get in their swimsuits," I say as I help Spencer but on her floral bikini with the ruffled skirt. She looks so adorable. The boys both put on their board shorts. Drew is staying with the grandparents for the day.

"Natin, you likes my swimsuit?" Spencer asks and pulls on his swim trunks.

"I love it, you look like a princess," he says and she smiles.

"Okay, guys let's head out to the car," I say.

"Natin holds me," Spencer says. Nathan picks her up and helps her zip her cover-up. We go out to Nathan's car and the kids all get buckled in. I help Quinn with his seatbelt while Nathan straps Spencer into her car seat.

"Okay, here we go," we drive off towards the water park. The kids sing the pop songs on the radio and Nathan and I laugh at them. They are so cute.

"Nathan, do you have your jersey?" Quinn asks.

"From this past year?" Nathan asks.

"Yeah," Charlie says.

"I do, it's at my house," he says.

"Can we see it?" Charlie asks.

"Yeah I'll bring it over one day," Nathan says and they smile.

When we get to the park the kids get wristbands put on them. I am walking with the boys and Nathan is holding Spencer. We put our stuff down on a lounge chair.

"Sunscreen time," I say and the boys groan.

"No sunscreen no water," I say.

"Okay me first," Charlie grumbles. I use the spray lotion and spray him. I use the lotion on his face and he looks less than pleased. Quinn jumps in front of me.

"My turn," he smirks. This little womanizer.

I spray his back then the front. He pretends to flex his muscles when I spray his arms. "Look at you," I say and he giggles. This boy.

"Spencer, your turn," I say. Nathan sets her down and I start spraying her. I have to be very gentle with her face because she is super sensitive. I use the face stick.

"Your turn," Nathan says. I laugh and let him spray me, then I spray him. We all get into our bathing suits. I am wearing my black high waisted bikini.

"Okay, where do we wanna go first?" I ask them.

"Lazy river," the boys shout at the same time.

"Okay let's go," I smile. We walk over and grab tubes for everyone. The rule of the lazy river is everyone has to be in a tube.

I put the boys on a tube and Spencer on my lap. We all four hook tubes. Nathan grabs the boys and I grab his. Spencer is loving every minute of this. She waves to Nathan and he waves back making her giggle.

We go under a water dispenser and the kids laugh so hard. It gets bumpy at some points and Spencer death grips my legs. The boys are having so much fun it makes me smile.

We get out of the lazy river and decide to go on the family ride. It is a ride that fits 5 people in one circular tube. We put Spencer between Nathan and me. The boys huddle together in excitement.

We get pushed down and the tube goes into complete darkness. Spencer screams and I feel her jump onto Nathan's arms. She starts screaming crying. The boys are screaming because they are having fun.

"Yeahhhhh," Quinn screams. We shoot out the end into the sunlight and Spencer is screaming crying.

"Shhhh, Spencer it is all over," I try consoling her.

"Bee Bee dark," she cries and I know she was afraid of the dark. I should have thought about that.

We all get out of the tube. I am holding a sobbing Spencer. I rock her back and forth. "Boys why don't we go see the water park," I say. They have an actual water park with mini water slides and a playground. It is very cute.

"Yeah yeah," they both say. They run over and Nathan and I walk behind them. When we sit down to watch the boys play Spencer is still sobbing.

"Hey no more crying, it's supposed to be a fun day," I bounce her trying to make her smile. She just sobs harder.

"Here," Nathan says and I pass her over. She cries into his chest.

"Shhh, Spencer it is all done now. You don't have to do it again," he says trying to console her.

"It's scared me," she cries.

"I know, but you are such a brave girl for going on the ride you know that?" He asks. She nods and I lean in wiping her eyes.

"I don't wanna go on those," she points to the big ones.

"You don't have to, we can play in the fun little pool and Bee can take the boys," Nathan says. Spencer smiles and nods resting her head in his chest.

"Okay, thanks you," she says and I smile.

I take the boys onto the toilet bowl ride. Then the green slide, then the cyclone, then the family ride. They are starting to get warm out. I take them to the pool in front of our chair. I go to sit on the lounge chair and I see Nathan. With a bundle of towels on him.

"Oh my," I say as I see Spence on him sleeping with towels wrapped around her. I look at her cheek squished against him and she is out.

"She is out for the count," I say.

"We played hard in the playground," he says and I laugh.

"We should get them home for a nap. The boys are pooped too," I say. I head over to get the boys. They are less than pleased to be leaving. We walk out with me holding Spencer. I slip her into her car seat and buckle her. Nathan drives us all home.

"Would you look at that," he says and I look behind me. All three kids are asleep. It was the sun and running around. It got them.

When we get them back to their house we used them in. They are all three still in bathing suits. "Boys go change, I will be up in two minutes to check," I say. They run up accepting the challenge.

I go upstairs with Spencer and change her into PJs. I braid her hair so it doesn't get knotty while she sleeps. "I wanna see Nathan," she says.

"He's downstairs," I say.

"Please," she smiles. I smirk and walk her down. When I Peek in the boy's room they both have PJs on and are in their bed waiting for a story.

"Hi sweets," He says to Spencer.

"Hi, Natin, can you and Bee Bee puts me to bed?" She asks. He looks at me and I smile.

"We owe her one for what we put her through," he says and I laugh.

"Okay let me go put the boys down. You go wait for me and pick a book," I say heading into the boy's room.

I read them green eggs and ham before they fall asleep. I tuck them both in and kiss their heads. I head back into Spencer's room. "Okay, what'd we pick?" I ask.

"Owen," Spencer says. Owen is about a little mouse who can't get rid of his blanket. I pass the book to Nathan. I rub Spencer's hair as he reads. She is asleep by page 4.

I pull back and we sneak out of the room. As we walk out we high five. No one else I would rather do this with.

(End flashback)

I really do miss my Nathan. The next time I'll see him is in November. Not very good. It makes me so sad. I already miss him so much. How am I going to get through this year?

—-

This week has been real. Classes started up on Monday. Already I have a ton of work to do. For some reason, it has been really hard to settle in this time. I am really just having doubts and negative thoughts. Nathan has offered to fly out, but I know he has practice and all that.

Tonight is the toga party. I am very excited about it. Hopefully, this gets me out of the funk that I am in. We all have our bed sheets and Kendra is coming over to help us cut and tape them.

We are all getting ready in our apartment. After I am all ready and waiting for Kendra I decide to call Nathan. He answers after one ring.

"Hey, baby, what's up?" He asks.

"Nothing, just calling to hear your voice," I say.

"How are you feeling today?" He asks.

"Um okay I guess, I just am missing you," I admit. He sighs and I frown.

"I miss you too, are you sure you don't want me to book a flight?" He asks.

"No Nathan, you can't. We will see each other in November," and as I say that I get a nervous feeling in my stomach.

"I'm just a little worried about you," he says.

"Don't be, it's just first week jitters," I lie.

"Well, what are you doing tonight?" He asks.

"We have a toga party," I say.

"Oh that's so fun, you'll have to send me pics," he says.

"What kind of pics are we talking?" I smirk. Nathan and I have had our fair share of pictures sent back and forth. Keeping our long distance relationship alive.

"Cheeky girl, pictures of you in the toga and what's underneath," he says and I smirk.

"We'll see," I say and he laughs.

"Well have so much fun, my girl," he says.

"I love you," I say.

"I love you more," we bid each other goodbye and when I hang up I fight the urge to cry. I just am feeling so insecure. I just wish he could hold me.

"Phoebe come on your turn," I hear Kendra call. I grab my sheet and wipe my eyes. I go out and Kendra has me stand in my bra and underwear while she wraps and does the toga.

When she finishes I am amazed. She has made a short one shoulder toga dress. It is so cute and fits so well. "This is a talent Kendra," I say and she shrugs.

"Lots of practice," she says and I laugh.

We pregame at our place then head out. I am feeling pretty buzzed. The alcohol is getting to my head. When we walk into the party I see Andrew and his roommate Colton talking.

"Grey, you look great," he says and wraps an arm around me. Colton says hi to me.

"Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself. Hey Colton," I say

"Isn't this party so fun," Colton says. Everyone has their own style of toga. Lots of girls made two pieces or bodycon dresses.

"I'm sure you like it," I say to him. Colton is what one would call a man-whore. He gets lots of girls.

"So how is Lindsey?" I ask Andrew.

"We hooked up a couple of times, but that was it," he says and I roll my eyes. Not shocking for Lindsey.

"So who is the new victim," I ask him. Colton starts laughing and walks away.

"What who is it?" I ask him he is bright red and keeps saying no one.

"Who tell me you butthole," I say.

"Fine fine, umm well after you guys had us over for dinner Maisy as you know came over to drop off my wallet. She ended up staying and talking," he says. I knew she was out for way too long. Andrew lives like two minutes walking distance from us.

"I knew something was weird. Did you guys fuck?" I ask.

"Brazen Grey, and no we didn't we just talked. I like her a lot," he says. Why wouldn't Maisy tell me?

"I'm so happy for you two," I say. I really am it's like my two best friends.

"Well it's nothing official, we are getting dinner on Saturday," he says and I smile.

"That makes me so happy," I say.

"Speaking of relationships, how is Nathan?" He asks.

"I miss him a lot, I really do," I say and he frowns.

"I'm sorry, Grey," he says and hugs me.

"It's okay, I'll work through it," I say.

"I'm always here for you, you know that," he says and I nod.

"I know let's go drink, enough of this sad talk," I say and wipe a stray tear.

"Okay, but you know I am always here," he says.

"I know, that's why I love you," I say and he laughs. We go to the bar and both get drinks. They are Greek-inspired cocktails. I get the Aphrodite and it is so good.

We walk out to the dance floor and Maisy runs up to us. I smirk at her and she blushes knowing he told me. "You'll be hearing from me later," I smirk as I drink.

"I'm sorry, hey Andrew," she says and gives him a hug.

"Hey Mase," he says.

"Oh my gosh, there's Caroline I haven't seen her since I have been back," I say and leave the two of them to talk.

"Grey," Caroline just about screams and runs up to me. Yeah, she is hammered.

"Hi Caroline," I laugh. Over the summer Caroline and Teddy started dating both my parents were so worried about me when they told us. I said I didn't care as long as they were honest.

"I missed you," she says.

"I know it has been a long month away from each other," I say. She came to visit in August. My parents like her a lot.

"How's that brother of yours?" She asks.

"As if you don't talk every day, he is good. Moved into his apartment last weekend," I say and she smiles.

"I know, we talked today," she says and I laugh.

"You are swoon," I say and she smirks.

"Yeah, pretty much, I am going to visit him next month," she says and I smile.

"That's so fun," I say.

"Yeah I'm so excited," she says. Aw, I would be too. I miss Nathan so much.

Caroline gets pulled away by her big to take a picture. I head over and see Maisy and Andrew talking still. Makes me miss Nathan even more. I am feeling pretty bummed out.

I decide to walk home. I say bye to Caroline and she says to call when I get to the apartment. I sneak out without saying bye to anyone else but Maisy who is pretty hammered too. I just want to be alone.

As I walk, I feel tears slip out of my eyes. Why is it so hard being away from him? It makes my heart hurt. I miss him so much.

I get to my apartment and walk in. I wipe my eyes and put my keys down. After washing my face and getting into PJs, I lay in my bed. Seeing Nathan would help so much. I don't know how I am going to do this.

—-

"Don't you have 24/7 security how are you going to do this?" Olivia asks me as I buy my plane ticket off her card.

"It's only for this weekend. I am going to tell him I'm sick so I am staying in, I'll sneak out with one of you when you go to class and he'll be watching the apartment," I say.

I'm going to see Nathan. I can't do this anymore. I have never felt so apart from him. I don't know what it is. I'm just having insecurities and worries. I don't have class and have the money to buy the ticket. The only problem is my dad.

He would never let me just go to New Jersey without a reason and well I don't have one. My reason is being insecure and stressed. My plan is to call Sawyer and say I have the flu. He won't come into the apartment and I won't go out. When Liv goes to class, I will sneak out with her.

I can't pay for a plane ticket with my credit card because Mr. Control will see. I paid Olivia in cash for the ticket and she is buying it for me. I am taking a taxi that I will pay for in cash and when I get there I just will use the money I have left.

Nathan doesn't really know I am coming. Like at all. If I told him I was coming he would insist on me telling my dad and really I just can't deal with that stress.

"Phoebe, I agree you need to see him, but is this the way to do it?" Maisy asks.

"It's the only way to do it without my dad driving here and sending me to a therapist," I say and they look at me.

"I'm just worried if something goes wrong, you won't have anyone there with you," Maisy says.

"I'll call you guys if anything goes wrong I promise," I say.

"Well, you better get packing," Maisy says. I smile and go over hugging them both.

"If you think this is what you need PG then you should do it," Olivia says.

"We hate seeing you like this," Maisy says.

"I know, and I hate feeling like it," I say.

"Well go pack and get a good night's sleep," Maisy says.

"I love you guys. Thank you for helping me," I say and they smile.

"Of course, we would help you anytime," Olivia says.

After I finish talking to them, I head into my room and grab my bag. I pack a toothbrush, pajamas, underwear, and one day outfit. I can't pack a suitcase because I'm sneaking out with Olivia.

For the plane, I pack some homework and headphones. I plan to catch up on some sleep too. Hopefully, this will be good for me and exactly what I need.

I also hope that Nathan has nothing going on. I have subtly asked him throughout the week and he has said nothing every time. So I am assuming he has nothing planned.

I am pretty nervous about my parents finding out. But I have the whole thing planned out pretty well. Maisy is right a lot can go wrong, but I just need to try it. I have been feeling so insecure about school and myself and Nathan always helps that.

The hardest part will be getting there and after that, it is smooth sailing. Once I return home I won't tell anyone it happened and Maisy and Liv are already sworn to secrecy. I'm nervous but I know this is what I need.

I take a quick shower and get in my bed. This weekend cannot come soon enough. All I want is a Nathan hug and for him to just reassure me that I can do this.

I curl up in my bed and say a prayer that I can get there without shit hitting the fan. I fall asleep quickly knowing that I will get to see Nathan.

—

My alarm goes off and I sit up yawning. I am so excited, but also so nervous. I get up and shower. I put my hair in a high ponytail and put on black leggings and a T-shirt. I bring a sweatshirt In case I get cold.

Last night I texted Sawyer I had the flu so I would be staying in the for the weekend. He asked if I needed anything and I said no. He told me to feel better and rest.

I come out and eat a banana. "You ready, Grey?" I hear Olivia say. My cab is called and is going to be in the back of my building. I nod and follow her.

We sneak out the front door and I run down the hall. I wait for Sawyer's text or call and nothing happens. I hug Olivia tightly.

"Be safe, Grey," she says.

"I will, thank you for all your help," I say and she smiles.

"Text me when you get there," she says and I nod.

"I will, I love you," I say.

"Love you more, now go you have a plane to catch," She says and I smile.

I head out the back door and get in the cab. I tell him to take me to the airport and slouch in my seat. The drive to the airport is a short one. I get out and pay the driver in cash. I get my bag and head inside.

I keep my hood up as I travel through the airport. After I get my boarding ticket and go through security I stop at the Starbucks. I am going to need this coffee to get me through this day.

I sit at my gate and keep to myself. My heart is beating so fast. I can't believe I am doing this right now. I look around and don't see anyone I know on my flight. Thank the lord. They start boarding my flight and I get in line.

I quickly scan my boarding ticket and head onto the plane. I pick a window seat and keep my hood up. An old woman asks if the seat next to me is open. I nod and move my bag under the seat.

This is only my second time flying on a non-private airplane. It is weird, but I couldn't have asked for the jet. The lady next to me smiles.

"First time flying alone?" She asks.

"Yes, it is," I say.

"You get used to it, do you go to Washington State?" She is a sweet old lady.

"Yes, I am a sophomore there," I say.

"So what brings you to New Jersey?" She asks.

"My boyfriend goes to Princeton," I say and smile.

"Smart boy, you are going to visit him I assume?" She asks.

"Yeah," I smile.

"I can tell by the way you look you are very much in love," she says and I smile.

"What brings you to New Jersey?" I ask her. Her distracting me is actually helping my major anxiety right now.

"Well, my husband passed away last month, we own a place in New Jersey and don't need it anymore. I am selling it and want to meet the family that wants to buy it. Not anyone can just buy that house. I want it to be people who I know will take care of it," she says and I smile.

"I'm sorry about your husband," I say.

"Thank you, sweetheart, Carl and I lived a very special life together. He was the love of my life, he passed away from lung cancer. We had time to process it together. I am glad he is not in pain anymore, but boy do I miss him," she says.

"I can't imagine that," I say and I truly can't.

"It makes me happy that you are going to visit your boyfriend. I can tell you two are in love, let me tell you, honey, never let that go. Even on the days that you are the most upset and mad forgive him life is too short," she says.

"I will definitely take that advice, I am going to see him now because well I just miss him," I say and laugh a bit.

"Young love is the most powerful, I remember sneaking out of my window at night to see Carl," she says and I laugh.

By the time we stop talking we are already up in the air. I start to work on my essay for psychology. I had to miss class today so I am getting a head start.

The flight attendant comes around and gives us cookies and takes our drink orders. I get water and Priscilla, my new friend next to me, gets tea. She looks over at my essay and smiles.

"I remember those days," she says and I nod.

"Lots of work little time," I say and she laughs.

"What's your major?" She asks.

"Psychology," I say and she smiles.

"What do you want to do with it?" She asks.

"I think work with kids," I say and she smiles.

"I was a kindergarten teacher," she says and I smile.

"Wow that's a hard job," I say and she nods.

"But so rewarding," she says and I smile.

"I learned more from a class of 20 four and five-year-olds than I did in my entire life," she says and I smile.

"Kids, Phoebe they are brutally honest and pieces of work. But they love you unconditionally," she says and I smile.

"Do you have any of your own?" I ask her. She nods smiling. She shows me her flip phone wallpaper.

"My oldest is Michael he has three kids of his own named Dylan, Tyler, and Georgia. My middle is Jeff he has two kids named Finley and Reed. My baby is Ruby she has four kids named Beckett, Hannah, Lucy, and Jake," she says and I smile.

"That is so sweet. Your grandkids are so cute," I say and she smiles.

"They are my lifeline," she says and I smile.

We talk more about her kids and life. She makes me feel so comforted. I am so glad she is here with me on this flight. I don't know what I would have done if I had to sit in silence the entire ride.

We land 5 hours later in New Jersey. It is pouring rain here. Perfect. I hug Priscilla goodbye and head off to find a cab. My bag is my carry on so I don't need to go through baggage claim.

For the first time ever I am alone. No one following me no one watching over me. It is quite crazy actually. I get a cab and tell her to take me to Princeton. She nods and heads off. I fidget nervously with my hands.

I try not to think of my parents because when I do I feel guilty. They deserve better than me. Maybe this was a selfish decision. Oh, my dad would be so mad if he found out I was here. Oh my gosh.

As soon as I really start to have a panic attack we are here. I pay her and get out of the cab. I hold my bag and walk up to Nathan's apartment building. I take a deep breath and walk up the steps walking in.

I get on an elevator after a student scams their badge to get up. I know Nathan is the 6th floor. As soon as I get up I realize I have no idea which one is his. Shit.

All of a sudden I hear talking. I look behind me and I see two people walking towards me. I step to the side and peek my head around. I see Nathan and a girl. Who the fuck is that? They both have coffees. Maybe they just got coffee and saw each other on the way up.

All of a sudden they stop at the same door and Nathan puts his key in. They both walk in and I feel my heart drop. Tears fill my eyes. I bought a plane ticket, snuck here, and lied to everyone just so I could see him with a girl.

Maybe they are just friends. Maybe they aren't. Coming here to have to find that out is so hard. I decide to sit on the stairwell and call Olivia. She answers pretty fast.

"Did you make it?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner," I say.

"What's wrong? Have you been crying?" She asks.

"I walked into his apartment building and as I was going to find out which one was his he walked past me with another girl," I say.

"What were they doing?" She asks.

"I don't know they both had coffees and both went into his apartment," I say.

"Well Phoebe, that could mean anything. They could be studying in there for all we know," she says. She is right I guess.

"I know," I say.

"Well don't you trust him?" She asks.

"Of course I do," I say.

"Really?" She asks.

"We will have been dating for three years in November, why wouldn't I-" I cut myself off.

"You're right I'm being dramatic," I say.

"Phoebe, that boy loves you. And I know you love him. You went to him out of everyone after these past couple weeks of insecurity. Go love on that boy don't waste your time being skeptical," she says.

"I know you're right, thank you Liv," I say.

"I love you now go spend time with him," she says. We hang up and I stand up to go to knock on his door. As I walk to open the stairwell it opens. I am left being face to face with Nathan. He opens his mouth to say something and then closes it.

"Hi," I say. I had this whole speech planned, but seeing him made it all go away.

"Phoebe, what are you doing here?" He still hasn't moved. I really got him.

"I just needed to see you," I admit. He walks forward and takes me in his arms. As he holds me I start crying. This is exactly what I needed.

"Don't cry," he says.

"I'm sorry for just showing up I just having been having the hardest time at school and I just needed to see you," I say.

"Don't apologize, baby, I'm so happy you are here," he says. "Let's go to my room," he ushers me into the hallway and into his apartment.

I look around at the apartment. He has one roommate. They keep the place pretty clean. He has his books scattered on the table and the coffee he was holding. So he was studying.

We sit down on the couch and he looks at me. "So, what's happening?" He asks.

"I just got to school and it didn't feel right. We said goodbye and I just have been having a tough time. It's been so hard without you," I say and he frowns.

"I knew something was up. Baby I could have come to you, you didn't have to have move Sawyer and your dad bring the jet," he says moving me closer to him.

"Well that's the thing," I say and Nathan looks down.

"My parents… well, they don't really know I am here," I say. Nathan looks down at me.

"What do you mean they don't know you are here?" He asks.

"Don't be mad, but I kind of had Olivia buy my plane ticket and I took cabs to and from the airport. Sawyer thinks I'm locked in my apartment with the flu," I admit. Nathan closes his eyes and tilts his head back.

"Phoebe… this is one of the most reckless things you have ever done, I would have just come to you. If you get caught I won't see you for months," he says and I nod.

"Don't be mad," I say again. He takes a deep breath and holds me close.

"You are so lucky that I love you," he says and takes a deep breath.

"Where's your roommate?" I ask him.

"He's not here tonight. They had a frat formal at the pier," he says.

"I have good timing then," I smirk and cuddle to him. I start to doze off as he rubs my head. I haven't been sleeping well at all and traveling wore me out.

"Bee?" I hear and I look up. Nathan frowns as he looks down at me.

"Come into my room, let's get you to sleep," he says.

I walk into his room and smile. It is so him. He has a world map tapestry hung up behind his bed. It covers the entire wall. It is a bluish grey color. His bed sheets are navy blue and grey. He has the grey Vancouver throw pillow I bought him on his bed too.

"I love it in here," I say and crawl into the bed. I lay on my side and Nathan comes over.

"Let's get you some PJs," Nathan says.

"I'm fine," I say sinking into his bed.

"No come on," he says. I shake my head and he laughs coming over. He pulls my pants off leaving me in my panties.

"Here," he says and I take off my bra putting on one of his big shirts. He comes in the bed with me and holds me to his chest.

"Sleep, we will talk more in the morning," he says.

"I love you," I say.

"I love you more," he kisses my head holding me. I fall asleep in his arms.

OCTOBER

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Nathan kisses my head between each word.

"I made you some peanut butter banana toast," he says and puts the plate down as I sit up.

"Mmm thank you, good morning to you too," I smile. He kisses my neck as we hug.

I eat breakfast as I stare out his window. Princeton is a really cool campus. "So, can we talk?" Nathan asks. I nod my head and he looks at me.

"You said you got to school and didn't feel right, what do you mean by that?" He asks.

"I mean I just, I got there and my anxiety was at an all-time high. I didn't sleep well, and I was missing you and home a lot. Maisy and Andrew have started talking and Olivia and TJ are dating, it all just made me miss you," I say and he takes my hand as I put my plate down on his bedside table.

"Babe, why didn't you tell me this was going on I would have been there in a second. It's okay to miss home, Phoebe. After you got adjusted to being there for almost 4 months you were taken back to school and that's hard," he says.

"It just seemed like everyone else was doing so good and having so much fun and I was missing you," I say.

"Everyone seems to have it together on the outside, Bee," he says and he makes a fair point as usual.

"I know, Caroline and Teddy are dating now. She was talking to me about them and she seemed so happy. It just made me miss you so much, I don't know why this is so hard," I say.

"Nobody said it was easy. You need to start going easier on yourself, Bee. You always want to make yourself happy and content with life at all times and sometimes that isn't realistic," he says and I nod.

"You make very good points, Mr. Moore," I say.

"It's okay not to be okay, you need to learn that," he boos my nose and I smile. I do put a lot of pressure on myself.

"I'm sorry again for just showing up," I say. He rolls his eyes.

"You are welcome anytime. I'd just prefer next time you maybe ask your father," he says and I nod.

"Are you anxious about your dad or mom finding out?" He asks.

"Well not really. I guess my dad more so than my mom. I think my mom would be proud of me," I say and he laughs.

"I'm glad you are here," he says and I nod.

"You know you can call me anytime and be honest about what's going on right?" He asks and moves some hair out of my face.

"Yeah, I know. I just hate to call and dump all my problems on you. Besides I just wanted to see you," I say and he smiles.

"You are never dumping your problems on me. Ever. I am always here for you," he says and I lean in kissing him.

"I love you," I say.

"I love you more. Now, what do you wanna do today?" He asks I smile and look out the window.

"Well last time you didn't really get to give me a full tour, maybe we could do that," I say and he smiles kissing me.

"That sounds like a great idea? Do you want to shower?" He asks and I nod. He is being very gentle with me I can tell.

"Follow me," he says. I stand up and grab my clothes. His roommate is still not here. He is in his PJ pants with no shirt. I walk behind him and his back muscles and butt are so hot.

"Here you are," he says. And that is the second clue he is treating me like glass. Usually, he would get in the shower with me. This boy.

"Where are you going?" I ask as he starts to walk out. He turns and smiles at me.

"You sure?" He asks.

"I didn't fly five hours to get here and not have sex with you," I say and he laughs.

"We aim to please then," he says.

We both get in and have our way with each other. It's a pretty spacious shower. After we get out and both get ready for the day. We head out in the afternoon.

"Okay, you ready?" Nathan asks. I nod and we head out the door. We walk to the elevator and head down to the first floor.

We walk hand in hand as Nathan takes me on a tour of campus. The first stop is his favorite coffee shop. "What do you get here?" I ask him.

"Iced coffee with cream," he says and I smile.

We walk to the football stadium and I get to see the boys practicing. "This is so cool," I say and Nathan kisses my head. We walk out then head to the clock tower.

"This is the exact middle point of campus," Nathan says and I look up at it.

"That's pretty smart if you ever get lost you can just look for the tower," I say and he laughs.

"I'm not sure that's what they built it for, but yeah that is a good idea," he says and I laugh.

"I'm trying to think what else I could show you," he says.

"Where do you go out on the weekends?" I ask him. He takes my hand and we start walking. It's a short walk before we get to huge houses.

"This is fraternity row, these are all the frats on campus. We usually go to these two, sigma chi and Theta Chi," he says and I nod.

"Is this were you meet all the babes," I ask and he shakes his head.

"You my friend, are the only babe I need," he says.

"Oh, you flatter me," I say.

"Okay let's head back to my place for lunch, I'll make your Mac and cheese," he says.

"You read my mind," I say and he laughs. We walk back to the apartment and on the way, he shows me the basketball court. We can go all the way in, but I get to peer down at it.

"This is so cool," I smile clapping my hands.

"I'm glad you got to see it," he says and as he takes my hand.

"Thank you for showing me around campus," I say and he smiles leaning in and kissing me.

"Thank you for coming," he says against my lips. We walk out and head back to the apartment. When we get there my phone starts to ring. I grab it out of my bag and freeze. Shit.

"Who is it?" He asks.

"My dad," I say.

"That's fine just act natural," he says. Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Hello," I say.

"Hey Bubs, how are you?" He asks.

"I'm good, how are you?" I ask.

"Doing well, what are you up to?" He asks.

"Just hanging out in the apartment," I say.

"Oh fun, listen I have a question for you," he asks.

"Sure what's up?" I ask.

"So tomorrow I have a meeting with the dean about the internship program. I will be at campus at around 11 the meeting should end by 2, so I was wondering if I could pick you up for lunch?" He says. Shit. My flight lands at 12:30. I'll have to sprint back to the apartment. But I can't say no because he'll show up to the apartment to say hi.

"Sure that sounds great," I say.

"Perfect, I love you Bubs," he says.

"Love you too," I say and hang up.

"What's going on?" He asks.

"Well lucky for me he has a meeting at WSU tomorrow," I say.

"You're kidding," Nathan says.

"I'll be back in time to meet him for lunch, so it's fine," I say and he laughs.

"Just your luck," he says as he cooks and I nod laughing.

Nathan cooks me lunch and we eat it together on the tiny patio. He has such a good view of the campus. It truly is beautiful.

"I don't want to leave," I say and he smiles.

"We will see each other next month," he says and I nod.

"I know it's just hard," I say and he takes my hand rubbing my knuckles.

"We can do it and besides after next month we have all of Christmas break," he says and I nod.

"Then spring break and then school is basically over," I say and he smiles.

"You're right, my dear," he says and I smile.

"We can do this," I say.

"That we can," he says and kisses me hard.

—-

"Come on, get out of bed," I am wrapped up in Nathan's comforter.

"It's so comfy," I say.

"Well it won't be comfy when you miss your flight and your dad comes to pick you up and you aren't there," he says and I about jump out of bed.

"I'm up I'm up," I say. He laughs and smacks my butt as I walk to the bathroom. I get into my travel clothes and brush my teeth and do my hair.

"I made you breakfast," he says. I smile and dig into my toast and eggs.

"Thank you," I smile kissing him.

"Did you make me any?" I turn and see a guy our age walking out of his room. He is blonde and Nathan's height. Ava would find him so hot. She's into the blonde surfer types.

"In your dreams, Liam this is Phoebe, Phoebe this is Liam Garret, my roommate," he says. We shake hands.

"Nice to meet you, Phoebe. I've heard a lot about you," he smiles.

"Good things I hope," I say smiling. He laughs.

"Of course, this kid worships the ground you walk on," he says and I laugh.

"What time did you get home?" Nathan asks.

"Two-thirty, I was at Emily's," he says and Nathan's fist bumps him. Boys.

"I have to drop, this girl off at the airport can I borrow your car?" Nathan asks. Liam passes him the keys.

"It was nice meeting you," I say as Nathan takes my bag.

"You too, safe travels," Liam says as we head out.

"He is so nice," I say as we walk to the car.

"Yeah he is great," Nathan says and I smile. We walk out to a black BMW. Nathan opens the door for me and I slide in. As he starts driving his hand rests on my thigh.

"Thank you for taking me," I smile.

"Of course baby," he says.

"Are you feeling ready to go back?" He asks.

"Yes and no. Knowing I will see my dad makes it better," I say and he nods.

"You know I am always here," he says and I nod smiling.

We drive to the airport and Nathan carries my bag in. We walk up and get all my stuff situated. He walks me all the way to security and that is where he can't get through.

"So this is goodbye huh?" I ask and he smiles.

"I'm always here for you, Bee. Call me right when you land," he says and I smile.

"I will, I love you," I say and he wraps his arms around me. I hug him tightly as he kisses my head.

"I love you so much," he says and I kiss him.

"I don't want you to miss your flight," he says and I smile.

"I know, thank you for hosting me," I say.

"You are welcome anytime. I love you, my girl," I give him one more tight hug then walk into the security line. I look back and see him watching me. I blow him a kiss and he pretends to catch it.

I walk through security and head to my gate. I text Nathan and thank him again. He responds, of course, telling me not to thank him and that he loves me. That boy.

I get in line and board my flight. I sit in the middle of the plane and sit in a window seat. The flight fills and I watch people continue to walk by. No one ends up sitting next to me, so I have the row to myself.

The flight is a breeze. I sleep for majority of it. I didn't sleep a lot last night. I blush thinking about it. Nathan stays on my mind. The flight lands and I grab my bag. I shuffle out of the plane and hold my bag tightly to me.

I order an Uber and get in the car. He drives me the short distance to WSU. It is 2 on the dot when I get out of the Uber. He pulls away and I run upstairs to my room. As I am putting the key in the door to get into my door I hear my dad say my name.

"Bubs," he says as he hugs me.

"Are you Okay you seem out of breath?" He asks and I panic. Why am I out of breath?

"I just ran up the stairs," I say and he laughs.

"Oh Bubs, what have you been doing all weekend?" He asks. Shit, he obviously hasn't talked to Sawyer.

"I actually wasn't feeling well, so I stayed in," I say and he frowns. He holds his hand to my forehead.

"You don't feel warm," he says.

"Oh nothing like that just girl stuff," I say and that shuts him up quickly. Score.

"Well, what do you want for lunch?" He asks.

"You want to go to Soup Spoon?" I ask him.

"Sounds great, do you wanna go put that bag down?" He asks. It has all my stuff in it. I nod and walk in. Luckily no one is home, so I drop the bag in my room and head out.

"Okay, you ready?" He asks. I nod and we head out. There is nothing more I want to do than shower, but my dad is here and I need to take advantage of that. He is easing my sadness about leaving Nathan.

"How was the meeting?" I ask as we walk in the restaurant.

"It went well. The dean is a very nice man. I am very happy to be working with this university," he says and I smile.

"I'm glad it went so well, when do you pick the first students to intern?" I ask him.

"December then they start in the summer," he says.

"That's so exciting," I say and he nods. We order our food. I get tomato soup and grilled cheese. My dad gets the Italian wedding soup and salad.

"So you stayed in this weekend, but what were you up to last week?" My dad asks.

"Just going to chapter at the sorority house and class. We had a toga party which was fun," my dad gives me a look at the last part. I'm sure that isn't his cup of tea.

"Fun, how are classes this year?" He asks changing the topic from my partying habits.

"They are good. I am really enjoying psych this year. It is super cool," I say.

"And you are still leaning towards doing child psychology?" He asks and I nod.

"I really love working with kids, I think this is the way to go for me. Is that stupid?" I ask him.

"I don't think it's stupid at all, and I know that you are a very hard worker so I think you can achieve anything you want to do," he says and I smile.

"I'm very excited about it," I say and he smiles.

"That's my girl, how is Nathan doing this year?" I do feel guilty for lying, but he would kill me if he found out.

"He is great, getting ready for basketball season," I say and he smiles.

"We should try to go to one of his games if they every play in Washington," he says and I smile nodding.

"They play University of Washington, I don't know when though," I say and he smiles.

"We will have to go, that sounds like a lot of fun," my dad says and I smile. I love that he is so supportive of Nathan.

Our food gets delivered and we dig in. It is so freaking good. I would eat soup spoon every day of my life if I could. My dad is really enjoying his too which makes it all the better. We walk out after eating and start our walk back to my apartment.

"So what's in store for the next couple of weeks?" He asks.

"Well we are making our Halloween costumes then we have our sorority Halloween party," I say.

"What are you guys being?" My dad asks.

"Olivia, Maisy, and I are being the Powerpuff girls," I say and my dad laughs.

"You loved that show," he says and I nod smiling.

"That I did," I smile.

"Let me guess you are Bubbles," he says and I nod smiling.

"How'd you know?" I ask.

"That was your favorite when you were little," he says.

"I remember that," I say.

"You were so funny," he smiles and wraps an arm around me. We finish our walk back and he drops me off at my door.

"Don't be a stranger okay? And make sure to call your mom she was jealous I got to see you," he says and I smile.

"I will, I love you," I say.

"I love you most, Bubs," he says and we hug before he heads out. I go into the apartment and fall on the couch. What a week.

—

"Who's ready to make some costumes?" Maisy asks coming and in and dropping all the stuff she bought on the ground.

"Us apparently," I say making Olivia laugh.

"You two are lucky to have me, I got all the stuff for next week," she says and I laugh hugging her.

"This shouldn't be too hard. I got big T-shirt's and we just have to cut them and put a waistline on them so we don't look 500 pounds," she says and I shake my head.

"Maisy you weigh 120 on a good day," Olivia says.

"This isn't about me," she says and we laugh.

"Uh huh," Olivia says.

We all sit in a circle in our living room cutting and tying. I am just following Maisy because she seems to know what to do. Not too shocking.

There is a knock on our door and I grab it. I open it to find Andrew. I smile and give him a hug. He gives me a short pat on the back before going over to Maisy. Ouch. He gives her a kiss and I shut the door.

"What's up, Andrew?" Olivia asks.

"Just stopping in to see my girl," he says and I smile. They are so cute.

"You flatter me," Maisy says and I laugh.

Andrew watches as we make our costume. I go to the bathroom and try mine on. It fits perfectly. I come out and show Maisy and Olivia. Andrew is on his phone but look up.

"Hot damn, Grey," Olivia says.

"See I told you-you could do it," Maisy says and smacks my butt.

"Now help me," Olivia says. I hang mine up and switch back into my normal clothes before coming out and helping Olivia.

"Andrew, did you hear the new Avengers movie came out?" I ask. He says yeah.

"Did you still want to go see it together?" I ask him.

"I already have tickets to see it with Maisy, I'm sorry," he says and I force a smile.

"No you're fine," I say. We had plans to do it months ago, but I can't get mad I know what it's like to be in a relationship. Especially as new as theirs.

"I'll go see it with you," Olivia offers.

"You were just talking about how much you hate superhero movies," I say and she laughs.

"I just feel bad you got stood up," she says and I smile.

"I didn't stand her up," Andrew says.

"You kinda did," Maisy buts in. I love her so much. It's her boyfriend and she is defending me.

"Whatever," he rolls his eyes and I get back to helping Olivia.

Once we all finish we hang up our costumes. Maisy ordered pizza so we are all just going to eat here. Maisy and Andrew, who is being a dick, are sitting on the couch. I stay in my room. I hope Andrew doesn't start being weird like this because he is dating Maisy. He didn't even ask how New Jersey was.

I walk out when the pizza comes and grab a wine glass and a bottle of wine. Maisy got a really good bottle of red wine. I sit at the counter with everyone and eat pizza and drink my wine.

"Drinking on a Tuesday?" Andrew asks.

"It's just one glass," I say.

"That's how it starts," Andrew says and I give him a confused look.

"What's going on with you?" I ask him.

"Nothing, it's just off character for you to drink on a Monday night," he says and I shake my head. I finish the glass and put it in the sink.

"I'm going to turn in for the night," I glare at Andrew and give Maisy and Liv a hug before I head into my room.

I have no clue why he is being such a dick. Ever since he and Maisy have been official he has been pushing me away. This is the third time he has canceled on me for something.

Last week we were supposed to get dinner, he canceled then came to our house and he and Maisy hung out in her room. Then we were supposed to study for bio together and he failed to show up to that. I don't want to be mad at him because I know what it is like to be in a relationship, but he is one of my best friends and is pushing me away.

I lay on my bed and get my laptop out. I play a movie on my computer and watch it in my bed. I drown out the noise coming from Maisy, Liv, and the dickhead.

For the rest of the night, I hole up in my room. I watch movies and head to bed early. I have class tomorrow anyway.

—-

It is Halloween night! I have my hair in two high pigtails. I put on my dress then my Steve Madden platform shoes. If I had blonde hair I think I would look exactly like bubbles. I put on a little pink blush to make it more convincing.

I walk out and find my roommates, Regan, Kendra, Andrew, Cole, Ryan, and TJ in the kitchen pregaming. "There she is," Maisy says and wraps an arm around me. Andrew gives me an awkward side hug and I quickly move on the guys that I haven't seen in forever.

"Grey it has been a hot second," Cole one of Tjs friends says.

"It has been awhile. How are you?" I ask as I pour myself a vodka lemonade.

"I'm great, just living the life, you look great," he says and I laugh.

"So do you, 3 hole punch Jim," I say looking at his costume. He is Jim from the office when he dressed up as a 3 hole punch.

"You're an office fan?" He asks and I nod smiling.

"Of course, it's the best," I say and he smiles.

"Grey, I like you more every time I meet you," He says and I smile looking down and finishing my drink.

I look up to find Andrew staring at me. He is dressed as Alan from the hangover. He isn't Cole's biggest fan let me tell you. Well, I'm not Andrew's biggest fan either.

"Everyone lets do shots," Maisy says and brings out the tequila. I do three tequila shots with Coke and 1 with Olivia. I am very drunk by the time we walk out.

We go to Fiji and walk in. Loud music is playing and I go to the bar and get another drink. They have pledges be the bartenders. The drinks are usually very strong and very bad, good thing I'm already drunk.

I sip my drink and go over to Caroline. She is Sandy from Greece. She is killing it too. "Grey, how are you?" She asks giving me a huge hug.

"I am amazing. Very drunk and very amazing. How are you?"

"Also very drunk. Missing your brother tonight," she says and I laugh.

"You'll see him for sibs weekend," I say and she nods.

"I know, but you have dibs on him then," she says drinking her drink.

"Long distance is hard," I say and she nods.

"It's so hard, why is it so hard?" she asks and I shrug.

"Good question. But tequila always helps let's go do shots," I say and she laughs. She takes my hand and we run over to the bar.

We end up doing one too many tequila shots and are both just hammered. We FaceTime Teddy in the bathroom. "Caroline?" He asks.

"Yeah yeah it's me, Theodore Raymond," she says and I turn the camera to me. "And me you forgot me," I laugh.

"Oh lord, where are you two up to?" He asks.

"It's Halloween, look how hot your sister looks," Caroline says and he shakes his head.

"Did you two drink a bottle of tequila?" He asks.

"Close to it, we miss you," I say.

"I miss you guys too, I'll be there in a week or so," he says and I smile.

"I know and I am staying at the hotel with you," Caroline says and I plug my ears. Ew.

"Okay I'm leaving," I say and Teddy says to be careful and text him when I am home or else he is calling Sawyer. I roll my eyes and head out of the bathroom.

I walk straight into Cole. "Oh my gosh I am so sorry," I say.

"No Grey, don't worry about it," he smiles and puts an arm around me. I move away from him and he laughs.

"I don't bite," he says.

"I know it's just I have a boyfriend," I say.

"And I have a girlfriend," he says and I feel uncomfortable.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah she goes to TCU her name is Amanda," he says and I blush.

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" he cuts me off.

"don't worry about it. You are loyal I like it," he says. I laugh and shrug.

"It's hard doing long distance," I say.

"It is, it's always at night when it's the hardest," he says and I stumble a bit. He catches me when I fall.

"I know right," I say. It's always nice talking to people who get it.

"So where does your boyfriend go?" He asks.

"Princeton," I say.

"Wow Ivy League?" He asks and I nod.

"He plays basketball and is going pre-med," I say.

"Wow sounds like quite the catch," the sarcasm goes straight over my head.

"So, What about Amanda?" I ask.

"Oh she's um she is at TCU for anthropology," he says and I nod. The alcohol is really hitting me.

"Cool, I actually should um go home," I say. I look at my clock and it is 2:30 in the morning.

"Let me walk you," he says.

"Oh no, it's fine," I say.

"Why not?" He asks. My drunk brain is slowly thinking of every excuse plausible.

"I told you I have a girlfriend, Phoebe," he says and I sigh.

"Okay," I say. I stumble a little bit and his hand finds my arm. I'm so drunk. Those tequila shots really do it for me.

We walk outside and I feel the tequila coming up. "Shit can I have a second?" I ask.

"Are you okay?" He asks. I nod and lean against the stair railing. All of a sudden I try to take a step down and end up falling. I feel Cole try to grab me, but I fall flat anyway.

"Jesus, Phoebe are you okay?" My dress has ridden up and Cole puts his hand way to high up on my thigh. He starts rubbing it and I shove him away. He comes back and starts doing it again.

"Stop it," I say.

"Phoebe?" I hear. I see Andrew and he runs over to me. What is he doing here? I am mad at him.

"What the hell is happening?" He says and Cole jumps off me.

"She fell man, I was trying to help her," Cole says.

"I got it from here, you can go I'll get her home," Andrew says. Why is he trying to be helpful now?

"Why are you trying to help me now?" I slur out.

"Phoebe, stop," he says and alcohol makes me emotional.

"No you stop," I say as tears stream down my face.

"She obviously doesn't want you, bro," Cole says.

"God Damnit, Phoebe he is trying to get with you," Andrew snaps. I am so drunk I don't know who to believe.

"He has a girlfriend she goes to TCU her name is Amanda," I say and push Andrew away.

"What the? Did you tell her that? For fuck's sake his sister's name is Amanda and she goes to TCU," he says and I am so confused.

"Fuck you, Andrew," Cole says. Wait he lied. Then come the tears.

"I don't want either of you walking me home," I sob and stand up doing my best to storm away. I hear yelling from behind me. I get out my phone and hit Nathan's name.

"Bee?" I hear a sleepy voice.

"Nate, Nate, Nathan," I say as I sob.

"Baby, what's wrong? Have you been drinking?" He asks.

"I want you to come to Vancouver," I say. All of a sudden there is a hand on my shoulder. It's Andrew.

"Please just stop," I say.

"Phoebe, who is with you? Is someone trying to touch you? Should I call the police?" He asks. Andrew must have heard him.

"Moore, don't worry I have her. She is very very drunk. This douche lied to her and said he had a long distance relationship too. She was crushed to find out he was lying and was just trying to walk her home to do lord knows what. I am getting her home," I can't hear what Nathan says. Andrew passes me back the phone.

"Baby, I want you to listen to me okay?" He asks.

"Okay," I sniffle.

"I need you to listen to Andrew okay? Let him get you home and then we'll talk in the morning," he says. Oh no.

"Please don't be mad at me," I cry.

"Shhhh baby I am not mad at all, I am happy Andrew, has you. I hope you had so much fun. I love you so much," he says. My drunk mind doesn't realize how gentle he is being because I am sensitive when drunk.

"I love you too," I slur out.

"Now make sure you listen to Andrew," he says and I say I will.

By the time we hang up, we are at my apartment. We take the elevator up and I give Andrew my key. He lets us in and I run to the bathroom. I shut the door and start throwing up in the toilet.

It is all the tequila making an appearance again. Andrew makes his way in and holds my hair. "Let it out, do you have a ponytail holder?" He asks and I hold up my wrist that has one on it.

I feel him doing my hair. He puts it in a high bun. Why does he know how to do this? I almost laugh when then leads me to throw up more. I sit back against the glass shower when I am done.

Andrew passes me water and once. I am done I notice blood on my floor in the bathroom. Andrew notices it too.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Andrew says.

"I'm going to check you over okay?" He says and doesn't do anything til I say okay.

"Phoebe, your leg," he says and I look and see it dripping blood on the back of my thigh.

"I fell," I say and Andrew grabs a wet towel holding it on it. I have bandaids in a mason jar on my counter. Nathan grabs a couple and starts putting them on my leg.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"No I'm sorry," he says and I look up.

"I've been a horrible friend, Phoebe. I have been so focused on Maisy I didn't even check to see how you were," he admits.

"It really hurt my feelings when you canceled on me," I say and tears start streaming down my face. I try to wipe them quickly and he frowns.

"I know and I will never be able to apologize enough, my friend. How about dinner and the Avengers movies on Friday," he suggests and I nod smiling through the tears.

"Good, now give me a hug and then let's get you into bed," he says. I stand up and wrap my arms around him. He smells like his cologne. He helps stay me up and I crawl in my bed.

What a night.

NOVEMBER

It's siblings weekend! Teddy is on his way to the hotel. I am so excited. For this weekend, we rented out the bowling alley. It's siblings versus sigmas. I can't wait to beat Ted at bowling.

I am at the apartment right now. He already got checked into the hotel and is on his way here. Olivia is home for this weekend because her parents just got a new dog.

There is a knock on the door and I run to it. "Teddy," I smile and give him the biggest hug.

"Oh my gosh, Bubs you look great," he says and I smile.

"Thank you, so do you," I say as he comes in.

"Well show me your place," he says.

"Okay, so this is the kitchen. I cleaned it for you, so you're welcome. This is the living room and where we spend the majority of our time," I say and Ted smiles.

"Then this is my room and my bathroom," I say and he laughs at my wall plaque that says 'welcome to the shit show'

"Pretty on point for me," I say and he laughs.

"You are too funny," he says and I smile.

"So what's on par for tonight?" He asks.

"Bowling," I smile and I can tell he is excited.

"So I can crush you," he says.

"Shut up," I laugh.

"Is everyone going?" He asks.

"If by everyone you mean Caroline then yes," I say and he laughs.

"Shut up," he playfully shoves me. He sits on a barstool on the island and I stand across from him.

"How is that going?" I ask leaning back against the countertop and crossing my arms.

"With Caroline? It's amazing, she makes me so happy. I didn't think it would work long distance, but it is great," he says and I smile.

"I'm happy to hear that," I say.

"Speaking of, how is Nathan?" He asks.

"Good, he has his first game next month which is pretty exciting," I say and Ted smiles.

"You picked a good one," he says and I nod.

"You know they play Harvard in February," he says and I look up.

"Wait really?" I ask. Ted nods.

"Are you going to go?" I ask.

"Well duh, it's in Boston," he says and I smile.

"Maybe I could fly over," I say and he smiles.

"I would love that, you could come out with me, maybe Caroline could come," he says.

"Oh yeah that would be awesome," I say.

"I think it would too, we will have to talk to the boss man," Ted says referring to our dad.

"If I ask him he'll say yes," I say and Teddy rolls his eyes knowing it's true.

"Whatever. So what time does this shindig start?" He asks.

"You did not just say shindig," I say and he laughs.

"At 7 so we should head out in 20," I say and he smiles.

"How crazy is it that you graduate this year?" I ask him.

"With my bachelors, I still need to go to law school," he says and I nod.

"I know, but that's still a big thing," I say and he nods.

"I know, it is crazy," he says.

"April 21st I have it on my calendar we are all flying over to see you," I say and he smiles.

"I'm excited, you haven't been to Harvard since what your junior year?" He says and I nod.

"Yeah, long time no see," I say.

"Well it'll be good this time," he says and I nod.

"So can I make our drinks?" I ask him

"Phoebe Grey, I am astonished," he says and I laugh.

"Don't act like you don't know what goes on in college," I laugh. "What can I get you we have bud lights, stuff for margaritas, and vodka," I say.

"Why do you have beer?" He asks.

"Mostly for the house guests, but we all occasionally will drink beer," I say. "But what do you want?" I ask him.

"Umm I'll take a beer, I don't trust you to make me a margarita," he says and I shake my head.

"Your loss," I say and pass him a beer. I make myself a vodka cranberry.

We pregame together before heading out. We go to the bowling alley and go in. I am so excited. I see Maisy and she comes over to me smiling.

"Hey Ted, remember Maisy?" I ask him.

"Of course, hey Maisy," he says as they hug. We talk to them for a bit before getting set up at our lane. Caroline is with us and so is Maisy and her sister.

We get set up at our lane and from nowhere Caroline comes over and about jumps in Teddy's arms. It is so sweet to see. She looks damn good too. She is in a white bodysuit and black jeans with her Gucci belt on.

"Hey baby," He says and I smile at him being so sweet to her.

"I missed you," she says in his arms. I go over and sign us all up letting them reunite.

I am first. I bowl and get a spare. Suck it, Ted. He is up next. He smirks at me and goes. He is left with one pin standing. He goes and puts his arm around Caroline brooding.

Maisy and her sister go, then Caroline. I get a strike the next go around. Ted high fives me and then gets a strike too. "Don't get too cocky, little," he says and I roll my eyes. Whatever.

We keep playing until it is our last bowl. I get a strike and Theodore stands up. He gets a strike too. Oh, buddy. The scores come out and he beats me by 1. One fucking point.

"Ha," he says and I kick him in the shin playfully.

"Whatever," I roll my eyes.

"Don't be jealous," he smirks.

"Trust me I'm not," I say and he laughs.

We bid goodbye for the night and plan to meet up in the morning. He and Caroline are going to his hotel room. Gross. I head back to my apartment. It was such a good night and so fun to see Theodore.

—-

"Time's up pencils down," my professor says. I look across the room to Kendra who winks at me. That was my final test before Thanksgiving break. I was so lucky because I got all of them down and still have four days on campus to chill before break.

I walk out and Kendra heads back to her apartment. The fresh fall air feels amazing on my face. It is the best. I head back to my apartment and open a window. I get out an ice tea and sit on the counter.

"Someone's in a good mood, how'd your last test go?" Maisy asks.

"Great, actually. I am so happy to be done," I say and she smiles.

"Lucky bitch I have one tomorrow," she says.

"Which speaking of I should be studying for. Enjoy the freedom, Grey. I am jealous," she says as she heads into her room.

"Good luck," I call after her. I sip my tea and look out the window. It is so nice. The sun is shining and I feel great. I should go out tonight. I pick up my phone to call Andrew and as I am dialing my number Sawyer calls me. That's odd.

"Hello?" I say.

"Phoebe, we have to head up to Seattle. I need you to pack a bag. I will explain in the car, but we need to go now okay?" I hear. My heart drops. Teddy? My parents?

"Is everyone okay?" I hop off the counter and rush into my room.

"We'll talk in the car I'll be in the front in five minutes," he says before hanging up. And just like that, my mood is crushed. I have no clue what is going on.

I quickly pack a bag only throwing necessities in there. I pop my head in Maisy's room and explain what just happened. "Oh Phoebe, call us if you need anything okay?" She asks and I nod. She gives me a hug goodbye.

I run down the stairs and see Sawyer. I quickly get in the car and beg to know what is going on. Sawyer turns and looks pale. I'm about to burst into tears.

"It's your grandpa, Ray. He had what they think is a heart attack. He is in the hospital and they are assessing him. He is stable right now. Your dad is going to call you, but he didn't want you to be told that over the phone," Sawyer says. And just like that my day is ruined. My world feels like it stops. I've never lost a grandparent. I think of all the times grandpa ray took me fishing or to the park. His laugh and his smile.

My phone starts to ring as Sawyer let's go if my hand. "Bubs?" I hear my dad's voice and it makes me cry harder Sawyer starts driving.

"Is he okay?" I ask.

"Shh don't cry baby, he is so strong. The doctors are working with him now baby," my dad says and the fact that he didn't give me a yes or no answer worries me.

"He has to be okay," I cry. My mom. Oh, my mom. Is she okay?

"Where is mom?" I ask.

"She is with him, honey. Don't worry baby you will be here soon," my dad says. I'm so scared.

"I need you to keep breathing and remember how strong he is," My dad says.

"Okay," I say weakly.

"Just keep breathing," he says.

We hang up and Sawyer takes my hand. "Are you okay?" Sawyer asks. I shake my head no and bury my face in my hands.

"Phoebe, he is so strong. He is going to make it through this," he says. How can he be so sure?

The ride feels like hours. Nathan calls me twice and I just can't bring myself to respond. When he calls me a third time I turn my phone off. My mascara is smeared all down my face. Sawyer hands me a tissue and I wipe my face off.

We pull up to the hospital and Sawyer drops me off in the front. I run up the steps of the hospital. This feels like a bad dream. I crash into my dad and he holds me tightly. He is just who I needed to see.

"Take a deep breath, take a deep breath," he says as he holds my face. I do and I can see his eyes are brimmed with tears. That makes me cry even harder.

"Come on baby, you can come see him," my dad says. I nod and he wraps me under his arm. Paparazzi are on the streets and I hear Sawyer yell before going inside.

I get checked in and get a visitors badge. My dad escorts me to the room and as I put my hand on the handle my dad stops me.

"Bubs before you go in, you need to know there are a lot of tubes and wires hooked up to him. They are all helping him breathe and get better. He is still the same grandpa ray," my dad says and I nod. I take a deep breath and walk in. My world stops. The scene in front of me.

Grandpa Ray has a tube down his throat. He is hooked up to countless IVs and has wires attached to him everywhere. He doesn't look like himself. He looks smaller and paler. My mom is sitting with her back facing me. She is holding his hand tightly.

"Phoebe," she stands as she sees me. I can tell she has been crying. She wipes her eyes and I can see she is trying to be strong. I give her a huge hug. She rubs my back as I cry into her shoulder. I sit down next to her and look at grandpa ray.

"Can he hear me?" I ask her.

"I haven't stopped talking to him since I got her," she says. I nod and take a deep breath.

"Hi Grandpa Ray, it's Phoebe. Your lovebug. We need you to stay strong for us but take your time. When you are ready to wake up we will all be here," I say and hold his hand. My mom sobs next to me and my dad is next to her holding her.

I start to cry as I watch my mom cry. I have never seen her like this. She is always so poised and put together. I hold my mom's hand and grandpa's hand. I pray that he can get better.

Hours pass and I sit with him. My dad has begged me to go home but I can't. I can't leave mom and grandpa. It is so hard. I ate a little oatmeal and some apple slices. My dad has his arm around me right now.

All of a sudden I look up to see Teddy coming in. He comes in and looks at grandpa. My mom gives him the biggest hug. He holds her as she cries. Their relationship really does warm my heart.

"Hi Bubs," Ted says and comes over hugging me. I cry into his shoulder and he rubs my back.

"Son," my dad says as he hugs Ted. Ted sits down and holds grandpa's hand. This is heartbreaking.

"Do they know what happened?" Ted asks.

"They ordered an EKG and the results should be in by tomorrow," my mom says. Ted nods and looks at Grandpa.

"Is Grandma Carla coming?" I ask. I haven't seen Grandma Carla in over a year. She calls a lot though. She got married when I was a freshman in high school to a new man. Mom says she is a hopeless romantic.

"We are waiting to hear what the results are honey," my mom says and I nod. My dad looks at his watch than to me.

"Bubs, let's get you home. It is 2 in the morning. I promise I will get you here by 9 tomorrow morning," my dad says. I cross my arms and look at my mom. She had a pull-out bed brought in for her. I know Ted will stay with her.

"Honey go, we don't have anywhere for you to sleep and the last thing we need is you getting sick. Grandpa knows you were here. If anything happens throughout the night we will wake you up. Grandpa wouldn't want you missing sleep over him. You know that" she says and I nod. I fight the tears that spill over my face.

"I love you, Grandpa. I will be here tomorrow bright and early. I love you so much," I say. I give him a kiss on the head and stand up. I hug my mom tightly and then Ted.

My dad puts his hand on my back and walks me out. As I walk out, I realize just how tired I was. I get into the car with my dad and Taylor driving. We both sit in the back. I sit silently and stare out the window.

I think about my mom and how much pain she must be in. I can't even imagine. I picture my dad being the one in the hospital bed. Tears start to roll down my face.

"Don't cry, Bubs. He'll be okay," my dad says.

"I just feel so bad for mom," I say and my dad holds me to his chest.

"You are so caring and so special. Mom is tough, and even in her times where she doesn't feel strong, she has you and me and Ted. Even Aunt Kate and my parents and siblings. She is the daughter of Ray Steele though which makes her very tough," he says and I nod.

"I know, but it's so scary," I say and he nods. He rubs my back as I lay my head on his chest.

"We are home baby," he says and I get out. I walk into my room and change into pajamas. There is a knock on my door and I say come in.

"You tired?" My dad asks me. I nod sleepily.

"Okay, let's get you to bed," he says. I lay in my bed and he comes over. I lay my head on his chest.

"Does Nathan know?" My dad asks. I am assuming Nathan texted him. I shake my head no.

"Any reason for that?" My dad asks and I shrug.

"I don't want him to feel like he has to come," I say. My dad smiles and kisses my head.

"You are so altruistic, Phoebe," he says.

I close my eyes and pray for Grandpa Ray. I end up falling asleep very quickly on my dad's shoulder. I stay asleep for the night.

—-

"Grandpa it's me, Phoebe," I say holding his hand. It's been almost a week and he is still the same. They said he needs open heart surgery. That scared the living daylights out of me.

"Nathan is coming home today for Thanksgiving break. Our three year anniversary is the day after Thanksgiving. It's crazy that you have only met him once. I will have to bring him in to see you," I say talking to him.

The door opens from behind me and my mom and Dad walks in. "Phoebe, you've been here for 8 hours, you need to get home," my mom says. I have been spending every day here. I come when I wake up and leave before bed.

"I'm fine, Mom," I say. She sighs and comes over to where I am sitting and bends down to eye level with me.

"Baby, Grandpa knows you are here and loves spending time with you. But you need to go home and eat and sleep. You are going to get sick if you keep this up and that is the last thing Grandpa would want," she says and puts her hand on mine.

"I know, I was just reading him a book. It's about the guy who caught the world's largest shark," I say.

"And you can finish it tomorrow, plus the nurses need to get in here and give him his medicine," she says and I nod. I stand up and give Grandpa Ray a kiss on the cheek.

I walk out with my parents and we get in the car. My dad is driving and my mom is in the front. "When is his heart surgery scheduled for?" I ask my mom.

"Well they scheduled it for the second week in December, so in 3 weeks, that gives him time to recover from what happened last week," she says and I nod.

"I'll be home then. I get done with my exams on that Monday," I say and my mom smiles.

When we pull in my driveway I see a familiar black Jeep. "Nathan is home?" My dad asks.

"Yeah, would you guys mind dropping me off here. Then parking in the garage," my dad stops the car and I get out.

I walk over to the front porch and see Nathan sitting on the steps. When he sees me he about jumps up and comes to me. " I'm sorry, I've been so distant," I say and he cups my face in his hands.

"Don't apologize, are you okay?" He asks. I shake my head no and he wraps me in his arms.

"Don't cry," he says rubbing my back.

It starts raining and Nathan starts to escort me inside. I shrug my jacket off and he hangs it up. "Let's go get you something warm," he says.

We go into the Kitchen and my parents are whispering back and forth. When they see us my mom smiles. "Hi Nathan," she says and comes over hugging him. My dad shakes his hand.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Grey, I am so sorry to hear about your father Mrs. Grey," he says and she smiles.

"Thank you, Nathan. We are going to turn in. Remember Phoebe tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and everyone is coming here," My mom says. I nod and my dad comes over and kisses my head.

"Take care of her," my dad says and pats Nathan's back.

I look down at my hands as my parents walk away leaving Nathan and me in the kitchen. This is the first time I've seen Nathan since early October.

"what's going on in that head of yours?" Nathan asks me. I shrug and look down at my hands. I am just so bummed about Grandpa Ray.

"He has to be okay," I say. Nathan comes over and turns me to him.

"He will be baby, you have to stay strong," Nathan says and I nod.

"I can only be so strong," I say and put my head in my hands. He wraps his arms around me.

"I'm here for you, I will always be here," Nathan says.

"Let's go to your room and get some sleep," he says.

"You're staying?" I ask and he nods.

"Of course I am, come on," he says. We walk up the stairs together and go into my room. I sit on my bed and Nathan comes and lays me down. I rest my head on his chest and he rubs his hands through my hair.

"I'm scared," I admit. Nathan looks down at me and brushes the hair out of my face.

"Talk to me," he says.

"If Grandpa Ray doesn't make it, what will my mom do? What will I do? He has to wake up," I say and start crying. Nathan pulls me so I am on his chest.

"Don't think like that okay? He is going to pull through this," Nathan says.

"I'm so scared," I say.

"You don't have to be," he says and holds me. We sit in silence as he rubs my head and I end up falling asleep on his chest.

When I wake up in the morning Nathan is laying next to me. Today is Thanksgiving. I really don't feel like getting ready or doing anything. I just want to be with grandpa ray. I sit up and rub my eyes. I look over at Nathan who is sleeping peacefully.

I get out of bed and go into my bathroom. I need to shower. I turn on the water and get in. As I stand there letting the water pour over me, I start to think about different memories with Grandpa Ray.

When he took my dad and me on the boat to go fishing and I cried because I couldn't catch a fish, so he let me reel in his. When we stayed at his house and we played hide and go seek in his huge backyard. When he would cuddle and watch my little pony with me.

Suddenly the shower door opens and Nathan is standing there. The cold air hits my body and I cover myself. "Bee, you've been in there for an hour. Come on out," he says. I quickly shut the water off and cover myself with a towel.

"Sorry," I say and wrap my hair up. I start putting on clothes. I have to dress up a bit since it's Thanksgiving.

"Are you feeling any better after some sleep and showering?" Nathan asks. I nod and finish putting on my shoes. I have on a big comfy sweater jeans and my lace-up flats.

"I just have to do my hair," I say as I start blow drying it. I finish it up and curl it as Nathan watches. I put on mascara and lipgloss.

"I'm ready," I say.

We head downstairs. Nathan has to leave to go to his family's Thanksgiving. I help my mom cook. We both stay pretty quiet.

After a couple of hours, we have finished setting up the house. Dinner is on the table and people start arriving. When Ava comes in she wraps me in a big hug.

"I missed you," she says and I smile.

"I missed you too, Ava," I say.

"I'm sorry to hear about Ray," she says.

"It's okay, he is strong," I repeat what everyone has told me. I then hug Mia and Ethan and their kids. Grandma Grace And Grandpa Carrick come too.

Everyone is standing around talking and all I can do is think about Grandpa Ray. He should be here right now. Not alone in the hospital. No one is with him and it's Thanksgiving.

I look around at everyone and sigh. I walk out and grab my keys and jacket. I walk out of the house and get into my car. No one will even notice I'm gone. As I go to pull out my car lights illuminate my dad. Who is standing in front of the gate?

I sigh and roll down my window. "Phoebe, what are you doing?" He asks.

"Going to see Grandpa," I sigh. My dad frowns and opens the car door.

"Phoebe, it's Thanksgiving everyone is here," he says.

"Exactly everyone is here and Grandpa is alone. It's Thanksgiving, it's not fair," I say and tears roll out down my face.

"Hey hey hey, don't cry, oh my girl," he says and takes me in his arms. He smells like my dad and it's so comforting.

"I can't stay here," I cry. "He is alone and doesn't deserve to be," I say. My dad looks around and is obviously conflicted. He sighs and looks at me.

"Then let's go," he says and I am shocked. He gets in the passenger seat and buckled himself.

I drive out and head towards the hospital. It is quiet and my dad holds my hand. When we get to the hospital we sign in. We go into grandpa Ray's room.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Grandpa," I say to him and kiss his cheek.

"Everyone is at our house and thinking about you. We are all missing your voice and laugh. When you are ready to wake up we are all here," I say. My dad kisses my head and holds my hand.

"You are so caring, Phoebe," my dad says.

I just want him to wake up.

—

Today is Nathan and my three year anniversary. Unfortunately, Ray is not awake yet. His vitals are getting better so they think he'll wake up in the next couple of days. Right now I have just finished getting ready then Nathan is picking me up.

I am going to try to put on a brave and happy face today. Today is such a special day and I need to perk up. I walk downstairs and I see Nathan waiting in the kitchen with flowers.

"Happy 3 years," he says and I smile. I give him a kiss and thank him for the flowers.

"These are beautiful," I say and start to put them in water.

"So what is the plan for today?" I ask leaning over the counter smiling at him.

"Well first we are going on a drive to somewhere I love," he says and I smile.

"Okay, let me just get my stuff," I say and grab my bag with my phone and his presence in it.

We get in the car and drive. I have no idea where we are going until we pull up in front of the dock. He got my dad's boat for the day. I am so excited.

"You got the boat?" I ask and clap my hands as he pulls out a picnic basket and another bag.

"Is this okay?" He asks nervously. I go over and kiss him deeply.

"I love it so much," I say and he smiles. We get onto the boat and head onto the back where the seating is. He has the table set up for us and sets the picnic basket down.

"So," Nathan says. "We have subs, fruit salad, chips, and homemade cookies," Nathan says. I smile and my stomach rumbles.

"Nathan, I don't deserve any of this," I say. I am speechless that he did this for me.

"Baby you deserve the world," he says. I shake my head. I don't deserve him.

"I'm really sorry for how I have been this past week. You did nothing to deserve my less than appealing behavior. I am just really worried about my grandpa and I don't mean to take it out on you at all," I say and Nathan looks at me. He takes both my hands.

"Baby how many times do I have to tell you, you are allowed to be upset and worried. You don't have to put on this happy and brave face around me. We are too far into this relationship for that bullshit," he says and kisses my knuckles. This boy.

"Thank you for being so understanding to me. I don't deserve it," I say.

"Yes, you do. You deserve the world," Nathan says and I blush.

Nathan takes my hands in his. "You are so beautiful," he says. "And so strong, and caring," he says and I blush.

"That blush is so adorable," he says and I look down.

"Three years huh?" He says and I nod.

"It's crazy," I say.

"Tell me your favorite memory of us," he says and I sit back. That's a tough question.

"Jeez, when you surprised me for my birthday this year, or our first anniversary," I say and he smiles.

"Those are big ones," he says.

"Well, what about you?" I ask him.

"September 18th, our junior year of high school," he says. I have no clue what happened then. Not even an idea.

"The first day we met," he says. Oh my gosh, I am so dumb. We met in late September.

"How do you remember the exact day?" I ask him.

"That's the day I met the love of my life," he says and I am left speechless. I open my mouth to say something and close it.

"I'm the love of your life?" I ask raising my eyebrows.

"Who else would be?" He asks and I smile looking down.

We clean up our mess and sit on the deck on the couch. He has both his arms wrapped tightly around me. This is the most relaxed I have been in weeks.

Nathan strokes my hair and we lay there. I start falling asleep then all of a sudden Sawyer is in front of us. "Phoebe," he says waking me up from my dream like state.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"I'm sorry kids the boat is going back, Phoebe it's Ray," Sawyer says. Nathan grabs my hand holding it and my heart sinks.

"Is he okay?" I ask.

"I'm not sure exactly what is happening. I didn't get details Taylor said we need to go back and go straight to the hospital," Sawyer says.

"Oh my god," I say and tears well in my eyes.

"Come here," Nathan says and holds me to his chest. I start to sob.

"Baby, it could be good we don't know what's going on," Nathan says.

"I don't- I can't- I," I can't even form words. The thought of Grandpa Ray passing kills me.

"Shhhh we don't know what's going on yet, don't assume the worst," Nathan says holding me. He rocks me back and forth until we are at the dock.

We quickly run to the car and get in. I am silent the entire drive. Nathan keeps talking to me and telling me everything will be okay. He whispers in my ear and holds my hand.

When we get to the hospital I feel sick. I am holding Nathan's hand as we head back. I knock on the door and my dad opens it. My world stops for a second.

"Hi Lovebug," Grandpa Ray says.

DECEMBER

"Phoebe, just get through your exams then you will be home, Grandpa Ray already told you, he doesn't want you missing them," my mom says. My mom and dad are standing over my bed trying to make me go back to school.

"What if something happens? I won't be just 5 minutes away," I say.

"Phoebe, your grandfather has one of the best cardiac teams in the country working with him right now. You need to go to finish your exams. After you take your last one next week you can come home," my dad says.

"I don't wanna leave," I sigh.

"Phoebe, everyone has left. Nathan left, Ava left, Teddy left today. It is time to go, baby, you need to take your exams," My mom says. I know she is right, but I really don't wanna leave.

"You guys have to promise me you'll keep me updated," I sigh.

"We will, of course, Bubs," my dad says.

"It's only one week, then you can come back," my mom says and I nod.

"Okay, then let's go," I sigh. I grab my bag and head downstairs.

"Goodbye my sweet pea," my mom says kissing my head.

"Bye Mom, I love you," I say.

"Bye Bubs, I love you the most," my dad says hugging me.

After the long goodbyes, I am in the car with Sawyer. We start heading towards WSU and I start studying. "How are you holding up?" Sawyer asks.

"I'm fine, I guess. Just nervous about leaving my Grandpa," I say.

"You shouldn't be kid. You know who your dad is and frankly who your grandpa is. Those two won't stop fighting for his health until there is nothing left," Sawyer says and I nod.

"Fair point," I say and he smiles back at me.

"I'm always here for you too. I know you have Nathan and the boy at school, but remember who sang princess songs with you while you danced in your car seat," he says and I smile. I always remember our jam sessions in the car.

"I know, you'll always have the most special memories," I say and he smiles.

"Now get back to studying so we can get you home," Sawyer says. I laugh and start reading again.

The ride goes by pretty quickly. I am reading and writing for most of it. I am studying hard for these exams. I need to do well on them so I can get out of here and go home.

When I walk inside Andrew and Olivia are sitting there. Andrew is the first to walk up and wrap me in his arms. "How're doing?" He asks me and rubs my back.

"Getting there," I say and he holds me in his arms.

"I believe in you, Grey," he says and I smile. Olivia then gives me a tight hug.

"I missed you," she says and I smile.

"I miss you guys too where's-" I get cut off by Maisy barreling into me and hugging me. I smile and hug her.

"You're home, I thought you'd never be back, I missed you so much," she says and I laugh.

"I missed you too," I smile.

"So do you wanna go out tonight?" Maisy asks. Olivia and Andrew both cut in.

"No," they both say at the same time. I smile and laugh.

"I'm okay Mase. I think I'm just going to lay low and study," I say and she nods.

"Okay, well we will all be here if you need us," Olivia says and I nod.

"Thank you guys," I smile giving them all one more hug.

I head into my room and sit down. It feels weird to be back to my room here. I get out all my school supplies and start studying. I have my first exam Monday so I have two days to study.

After two hours straight I head out to my kitchen. I open the fridge and see leftover pizza. I open the box and grab myself a slice putting it on a plate. I warm it up in the microwave as I get myself a glass of water.

I see Olivia is gone. I knew she went to TJs to spend the night. Maisy is here and by the looks of it so is Andrew. Once my pizza is done warming up, I sit at the counter and force myself to eat it. I didn't eat lunch or dinner today so I need it.

I hear laughing from Maisy's room. Before I hear more I put my plate in the dishwasher and head back into my room. I check my phone and see I have a missed call from Nathan.

I call him back and he picks up pretty quick. "Hey baby," he says and I smile at his voice.

"Hi," I say.

"How are you doing?" He asks.

"I'm okay, just studying for exams," I say.

"Did you get to school okay?" He asks.

"Yes, I studied for the whole ride so it went pretty quick. How was basketball?" I ask him.

"A breeze as usual," I know he is being sarcastic so I laugh.

"I'm sure, why'd you call?" I ask.

"Well to make sure you got to school safe and to ask what day you head home," he says.

"I leave Friday. Ray's surgery is on Monday," I say. I plan to be at the hospital the entire weekend before.

"Shit," he says.

"What?" I ask.

"I have an exam Monday it's my last one," he says. My heart drops. I really wanted him to be there for support.

"It's okay, don't worry about it," I say.

"I'll try and find a way to be there," he says and I know that means it's a slim chance he will.

"Really, it's okay," I say.

"We will figure it out. I will let you get back to studying. I love you so much," he says.

"I love you too," I say and we hang up.

I am quite bummed about Nathan, to say the least. It's okay though I'll have my parents. I know my mom is going to need my dad. It's a six-hour procedure from start to finish.

I know I will get through it. It is going to be hard on everyone. I just pray for Grandpa Ray and his health. I get back to studying for the night.

—-

I walk out of my last exam and take a deep breath of the winter air. It feels so good on my face. My exams were so stressful. I have been having stomach cramps due to all my stress.

Finally, I am now done. I walk back to the apartment where I have all my stuff packed for winter break. I am so ready to see Grandpa Ray. I head in and grab my suitcase. I go downstairs and get into Sawyer's car.

"You ready?" He asks.

"More than ready," I say and he smiles and starts driving. I take advantage of this time to sleep. I haven't been doing a lot of that recently.

When I wake up we are pulling onto the hospital grounds. "You good?" Sawyer asks as he looks back. I nod and he smiles.

I get out and walk into the hospital. I first see my dad who takes me in his arms. "Hi Bubs," he says. "I missed you so much," he says and I nod.

"I know, I missed you too," I say.

"You feel way too thin, have you been eating?" He asks pulling me back and looking at me.

"Yeah, I have just been so stressed," I say. That's the other thing I have lost at least 10 pounds from when Grandpa came in the hospital till now and it's catching up with me.

"I am going to get you some food and when I come back I want all of the food on the plate gone," he says and I know he is serious.

"Sir yes sir," I smile and he laughs shaking his head.

"Someone is waiting to see you, I'll be back with food," he says motioning to grandpa's room.

I walk into my grandpa's hospital room and he gets the biggest smile on his face when he sees me. "There she is. They told me, you'd be home an hour ago," he says as we hug.

"I know, my exam got delayed an hour," I say and he smiles.

"Well, how was it?" He asks me.

"My exam? It was good, I studied a lot for it," I say and he smiles.

"You make me so proud," he says and I smile.

"Where is my mom?" I ask him looking around his room. It's like a small garden.

"She went to a meeting she'll be back in a couple of hours," he says and I nod.

My dad walks in with grilled cheese and tomato soup. "Operation get Phoebe to eat," my dad says. My grandpa shoots his head over at me.

"Have you not been eating?" He asks. "I knew you looked thinner. Phoebe, not eating is not an option you look at least 8 pounds lighter," he says. "Not in a good way. You are already so petite, sweetheart," he says and I sigh.

"I have, he is just being dramatic," I say and my dad narrows his eyes at me. I take a bite of my grilled cheese and start eating. My grandpa clears his throat.

"Phoebe, I want to talk to you," he says.

"What's up?" I ask him.

"As you know, I am having my surgery on Monday. I want to talk to you about if I, Well if I don't make it," my stomach drops.

"No, don't talk that way," I say.

"Phoebe, I need to know that you will be okay. If I don't make it-" I cut him off.

"Grandpa, you are going to make it," I say and push my food away from me. Tears well in my eyes and he takes his hand.

"I love you so much, my Phoebe girl. If I don't make it I don't want you to push away your family and friends. You do that you know. Anytime something's bothering you, you hole up and hide. You can't stop living your life because of me," grandpa says and I nod.

"You're going to make it," I say.

"Phoebe, I'm not saying I am not going to, but you have already lost what 8 pounds. You can't stop taking care of yourself," he says.

"I won't," I say and wipe the tears that fall. I give him a huge hug and he rubs my back.

"I love you, Phoebe girl," he says and I tell him I love him.

The next days before his surgery are spent with a lot of hugs and hand holding. I've been leaving the hospital late and getting there early. The day his surgery comes around is the scariest day of my life.

"Okay, we have to take you back now Ray," the nurse comes in.

"Well let me give my people hugs," he says. I go first and give him the biggest hug. He holds me in his chest and kisses my head.

"Remember what I said, Phoebe Girl. I love you and am so proud of the person you are," he says and I nod.

"I love you so much," I say and he kisses my head. I walk out of the room. My dad gives him a hug and I wipe the tears that fall. I don't want him to see me crying.

I watch as my mom and he talk. My mom is hugging him. They told us before he agreed to have the surgery that is it is a long and dangerous procedure. Any open heart surgery is.

My dad tells Teddy to take me to the surgery waiting room. I nod and walk down. I am sure he doesn't want us seeing my mom upset. My heart is beating out of my chest as Ted walks me to the room. We sit down in a corner. The chairs aren't comfortable.

The thought of sitting here for 6 hours while he gets operated on makes me sick. Nathan can't be here today because he has an exam. Teddy rubs my back and I wipe my eyes.

"He'll be okay, right?" I ask Ted.

"I think he will be, Bubs," he says and I nod. Teddy kisses my head and wraps an arm around me.

Mom and Dad walk in a short while after. My dad and mom sit across from us. "You guys okay?" My mom asks us. We both nod and she takes our hands. I can tell she has been crying.

"He'll make it through," she says and we nod.

I really could just throw up. I am exhausted and so worried about him. I pray that he makes it through this. I am staring at the tv screen that they have up playing the news.

After two hours, I am restless. Literally. The doctors assistant has been out once and told us he has no news.

"I'm going to get Mom a tea, doesn't anyone want anything?" My dad asks.

"Water please," Teddy says.

"Phoebe?" my dad asks and I shake my head no.

"I'm okay," I say looking down at my hands.

"I'm going to get you a tea," he says and I nod.

As we sit there in silence, I hear footsteps. Assuming it's my dad I don't look up. When I don't recognize the shoes I look up. Oh my god.

"Nathan," I say standing up. I about melt to the floor like jello when he wraps me in his arms. I start sobbing.

"Come over here, let's talk," he says. He guides me away from my mom and teddy. This is the last thing they need to see.

"I thought. I thought. I thought you were taking an exam," I say crying. He wipes my eyes with his thumbs.

"I took it early, I wouldn't let you go through this alone," he says and I hug him tightly.

"You came all the way here," I say and he nods. I feel like jello.

He sits me down and gives Ted a hug. Then he goes over to my mom who thanks him for being here.

Nathan wraps an arm around me and I lean against him. His support right now is everything. He kisses my head and I close my eyes.

"Nathan, Thank you for coming," my dad says and hands me a tea. I thank him quietly. I take a sip and hold it letting it warm my hands.

My dad wraps an arm around my mom and we all sit quietly. Nathan scratches my head soothingly as we wait. Another 2 hours pass and I have only gotten up to go to the bathroom.

"Steele family," the doctor walks out and my mom and dad shoot up walking over.

I stand anxiously waiting. It has only been four hours, there should be another two. I watch as my mom nods as he talks. They both shake his hand and walk back over.

"It is going to take longer than expected," my dad says as my mom sits.

"What why?" I ask.

"Because they have to take things a little slower, Bubs. He is doing great in surgery," my dad says and I look at my mom. She forces a smile at me.

"Phoebe and Ted, you need to eat," my mom says.

"I'm not hungry," Ted and I both say at the same time.

"Guys, you need to eat. Grandpa won't be out for at least another 3 hours," my dad says sternly.

"Go to the cafeteria and get some food," my mom says. Teddy shakes his head and storms off to the cafe. I, on the other hand, do not. I refuse to leave. What if something happens while I'm gone?

"Bee, come on," Nathan says standing up.

"Phoebe, go," my dad says.

"I'm not hungry," I say again.

"You need to try and eat, don't make me carry you," my dad says. I know he will too.

"Phoebe, please. This is already hard enough on all of us," my mom pleads and I start to feel bad. I sigh standing up.

"Call me right away if anything happens," I say and they promise they will. Nathan wraps an arm around me as we walk to the cafeteria.

I look around at all the food. I have no clue what I want to eat right now. They have all different options. I decide on some french fries and chicken fingers.

Ted got a coffee and a croissant and left to sit outside. It's freezing out there. Nathan and I sit at a table near a window. I put my food in front of me and pick up a French fry.

"Can you tell me how you really are?" He asks me.

"I'm fine," I say.

"That's not what I meant by how you really are," he says and I shrug.

"I'm tired and worried," I say and Nathan nods taking my hands.

"He's going to make it through this. How about after you eat we can go sit on a couch and you can sleep with your head on my lap for a bit," Nathan suggests. I shrug and eat a fry. Nathan watches me.

"You have to sleep, Bee. You are going to get sick," he says and I sigh.

"I feel fine. Anyway, how did you get here?" I ask him.

"I flew on a plane. I came straight here," he says and I nod.

"I don't deserve you. Thank you for coming," I say and he shakes his head.

"I don't deserve you, Bee. Now eat up," he says and I eat a chicken finger.

After two chicken fingers and some fries, I can't eat anymore. Nathan eats some too before we throw it away. We head back to the waiting room and sit down on a couch near my parents.

I rest my head on Nathan's shoulder and he moves me so I am laying with my head on his lap. He runs his hands through my hair and it is so soothing. I close my eyes and end up drifting off.

When I wake up, I am startled. I jump up and look around. "Bee, relax," Nathan says.

"Is he okay?" I ask. My dad stands up and squats down in front of me. I look to see my mom resting on her chair.

"He got out of surgery 5 minutes ago. They are taking him to post-op. We can't see him till tomorrow morning because they have to closely monitor him," my dad says.

"So we are staying overnight?" I ask.

"Your mother and I are, Nathan is going to take you back to our house with Ted," he says. My heart drops.

"No I'm not leaving," I say.

"Phoebe, yes you are. This is not an option. You need to sleep. You have barely gotten any since you have been home," he says and I frown.

"I don't wanna leave," I say.

"I know you don't, Bubs. But we won't get to see him till the morning. He is sleeping off the medicine they gave him," he says.

"Where are you and mom going to sleep?" I ask.

"In his hospital room," my dad says rubbing his hair. I can tell he is getting frustrated. I know he is exhausted and stressed so I don't take it personally.

"Why can't we just go in there?" I ask.

"Phoebe, I am telling you, you are going home. Your mother and I are very tired especially your mother. She does not need you being defiant on top of this," he says and I fight the urge to fight back.

"Fine, I'm saying goodbye to mom," I say and go over to her.

"He is just tired, baby," my mom says.

"I know, will you promise to call if anything happens?" I ask and she nods hugging me.

"Go get some sleep," she says.

"I will, is it okay if Nathan sleeps over?" I ask her. She sighs and looks over at Ted and my dad talking.

"I didn't say anything, but yes that's fine," she says. "He can come over to sleep," she says putting emphasis on the word sleep.

"Okay. I love you," I say hugging her.

"I love you too, now go," She says and stands up. Nathan takes my hand as I go over to him.

"Say goodbye to your dad then let's head out," he says and I nod. I say goodbye to my dad and I know he feels bad because he hugs me and apologizes. After we head out. I didn't realize how late it was until we started walking to the car.

When we get in Nathan's car I buckle up and sigh. He takes my hand and starts driving. When we get to my house I still haven't said one word. We walk inside and head into my room. I put on one of his shirts and panties.

I sit on my bed and Nathan comes over. He smiles down at me. "I love you, Bee," he says.

"Stay with me," I say and grab his hand when he starts to walk away.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Please don't leave me, I need you," I admit.

"I'm not leaving," he says "don't worry I'm not leaving," he says and slips off his shirt. God, he is so hot.

He climbs in bed with me and wraps an arm protectively around my waist pulling me to him. "I love you so much," he says against my neck.

"Thank you for being here," I say.

"I would be here anytime for you," he says and I turn to face him. I run my hands through his hair. I lean in kissing him and he returns the gesture. It is slow and passionate.

"Sleep now," he says and holds me. I fall asleep easily in his arms.

—

"Slow down you speed demon," I say and my grandpa laughs. We are taking a lap around the hospital floor. They have just recently allowed him to take one lap at a time. He has to sit down and rest after because he gets so worn out.

"Phoebe girl, you kill me," he says. I have his IV pole and he is walking along.

"Ray, how you feeling today?" I hear an older man's voice.

"As good as I can, Phil. When are they letting you bust out of here?" He asks and the old guy laughs.

"As soon as I can walk a lap without wheezing," he chuckles.

"You'll be there soon," my grandpa smiles and we keep walking.

"Hi Ray," I hear.

"Linda, you look lovely today," Ray says. I smile only Grandpa Ray would come in here and make a bunch of friends.

"Ah here we are," he says as he gets back to his room and sits down. My mom is there editing a manuscript.

"How was it, Dad?" She asks.

"Good as it can be, Phoebe will you pass me the water?" He asks and I pass him his ice water.

"So I heard you all are coming here for Christmas. I'll have to put on a new hospital gown," he says. He is wearing his flannel pajama pants and the green hospital gown over top. My mom and I both laugh.

"We rented out the room on the floor and everyone is coming here. Gail and Taylor will be bringing over all the food and drinks," my mom smiles.

"You guys make too much of a fuss for me," he says and I shake my head.

"It's because we love you," I smile.

"Uh huh, speaking of love where is this boyfriend of yours?" He asks. I blush and look down at my pants.

"At home right now I think," I say and he smiles.

"When is he going to come over here?" He asks. My mom looks up and I smile.

"Uhm you want him to?" I ask.

"Of course, I have to remind him what I'll do if he ever hurts you," he says and I laugh.

"I mean I can call him and see if he wants to stop by," I say.

"I have the house phone here if you need," he says and holds up the phone by his bed. I laugh because he is truly so cute. He hasn't gotten used to cell phones yet.

"I can use my phone," I smile. I stand up and go in the hallway.

"Hey, baby what's up?" He asks as he answers.

"Not much, but is there any chance you want to come stop by and meet my grandpa?" I ask him.

"Of course, do you mean right now?" He asks.

"Well if that works for you," I say.

"I'm on my way already," he says and I smile.

"Thank you," I say. We bid each other goodbye and I head back into my grandpa's room.

"He's coming by now," I say and my mom and grandpa look at each other.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing your mom was just telling me about how much this boy adores you," he says and I laugh.

"He does and I adore him," I say.

After about 20 minutes there is a knock at the door and Nathan walks in with flowers. "Hi sir, I'm Nathan Moore," he says and shakes his hand.

"I remember we met briefly on Phoebe's birthday two years ago," he says and Nathan nods.

"That we did, I brought you some flowers is it okay if I put them here?" Nathan asks.

"Of course thank you, son," grandpa says.

"Now tell me how is Princeton treating you?" He asks Nathan.

"It's great sir. I am on the pre-med track and playing basketball. Both of those keep me very busy," he says and my grandpa smiles.

"Sounds like it does. So you get your doctorate, where do you wanna work?" My grandpa asks him.

"I am thinking about pediatrics specifically general surgery or orthopedics," he says and my grandpa smiles.

"Kids huh? They are pretty great," Nathan nods.

"I have 23 cousins and I am the fourth oldest so it's just kind of in my blood," he says and I smile.

"23? Your grandparents must have trouble remembering who's who," he says and we all laugh.

"Nathan helps phoebe babysit sometimes," my mom says and he looks over smiling.

"The Cruz kids?" He asks and we nod.

"I've heard great things about them," my grandpa says and Nathan and I start telling them stories.

After almost an hour of talking a nurse comes in and says he needs to go get his scans. He shakes Nathan's hand and kisses my head.

"Do you want to come over for a bit?" Nathan Asks. I feel bad we have barely hung out this whole break. I have been at the hospital almost the entire time.

"Yes she does, Phoebe girl go. You have been here far too much," my grandpa says on his way out. I smile as the nurse laughs and wheels him out.

"Uhm sure, we can do that," I say.

"Only if you want," Nathan says. I look over to my mom and she nods telling me to go.

"Okay, yes umm I didn't drive," I say.

"I did," he says. I smile and take his hand I hug my mom goodbye and say I'll be back later.

Nathan and I walk out to his car. "Thank you for doing that," I say.

"Of course, Ray is a great man," Nathan says.

"He is, Thank you for being understanding. I know we haven't hung out a lot," I say and he shakes his head taking my face in his hands.

"You don't ever need to worry about that, your grandpa had surgery, I don't expect you to hang out with me," he says and I lean in kissing him.

He holds my face as we begin to make out. I undo my seatbelt and lean in closer to him. His hands run through my hair. The only sound being our kissing and the rain tapping on the car.

His hand moves over to my thigh and I part my legs a bit and his hand moves up farther. We haven't had sex since October. We didn't even on our anniversary because it got cut short.

He pulls back and looks at me. "I love you girl," he says and I look down blushing.

He pulls out and starts to drive us to his house. My panties are wet, so I cross my legs. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

We get to Nathan's house and no one is home. Figures. We walk inside and I shrug off my rain jacket. We walk into the living room and I fall back on the couch. Nathan comes and sits next to me.

"Ray looks a lot better," he says and I smile.

"He is starting to take longer walks and get better. They say he will probably be home by the end of next month," I smile.

"That's amazing baby, are you ready to go back to school?" He asks. I look down and shake my head. I've been in a family bubble here.

"Not really," I admit.

"I think it will be good for you," he says and I shrug.

"Maybe," I say. He comes over and kisses my cheek. I turn my head and start to kiss him.

The kiss turns passionate and he holds the back of my head. I need more from him. I move so I am straddling him on the couch and his hands find my back.

He starts kissing my neck and I move my head so he has easier access. My hands find the waistband of his pants and start rubbing him over top of his pants. I think he is as ready as I am.

"Baby, do you want this?" He asks.

"Please, I need you," I say. After the words leave my mouth he picks me up holding me under my thighs and carries me to his room. He puts me on the bed and shuts the door locking it. He slides his shirt off and comes back over to me.

"Can I take these off?" He asks talking about my pants. I nod and unbutton them before he slides them off. The wet stain on my cherry colored panties is evident. Nathan smirks and I blush the color of a stop sign.

He comes back up kissing me. His hands find my bra and he pushes my boobs out so they are perked up. My shirt is off within a second and he is attacking my chest. My hands run through his hair.

His fingers make his way down to my panties and they slip inside the waistband. I main out as two fingers make their way inside me. "Shit," I moan out. He starts pumping them in out as we make out.

He crawls between my legs and throws my panties off. Before they hit the floor he is on top of me. "You ready?" He asks and I nod.

He lines himself up with me and slowly enters me. It has been so long that it fills me up more then I remember. I close my eyes as he keeps filling me. He waits for a second and brushed the hair out of my face.

"You okay?" He grunts out and I nod.

"Good girl," he says before he pulls back and starts to move. I am fuller than I can imagine.

I bite my lip as thrusts in and out. It feels so good, but I am barely able to stand it. "Feel it, baby," he says and I close my eyes.

"Ahh Nathan," I cry out as we keep having sex.

"Nathan, I'm going to," he just starts going faster and finally I finish. I grip his bicep and moan out. He is watching me intently and it makes me blush.

Nathan finishes right after me and I am out of breath. I lay on my side and Nathan brushes the hair out of my face. "You amaze me," He says and I laugh.

I pull the sheets over us so we are naked but covered. "You are so beautiful like this," he says and his fingers brush against my shoulder.

"What sweaty and gross?" I ask and he shakes his head laughing.

"No flushed and out of breath," he says and I smirk.

"Thank you for being here for me," I say and he kisses me.

"I'll be here till the end of time," he says as he holds me in his arms.

—-

Today is Christmas Day. We are preparing to go to the hospital to be with my grandpa. My dad rented out one of the nice rooms in the hospital and we are doing Christmas dinner there.

I am in my red off the shoulder jumpsuit. I am wearing the pearl pendant necklace Nathan got for me. It is so simple and so beautiful. He stopped by last night to give it to me.

I got my dad a photo album of us. It started out from the first picture of him and me from when I was born and ended with a picture from Thanksgiving this year. All between are the pictures of us together.

It was fun creating that book because it was so easy for me to see how much I adore my dad. He was holding me in almost every picture. And I look so content in all of them.

It was funny there was one picture of me when I was 7 months old. I have a teething ring in my mouth. My dad told me the story and it is so sweet.

(Flashback Christian's POV)

I have been gone for two days. Ana and my 2-year-old son and 7-month-old daughter are at home. Phoebe has been teething and Teddy is in his terrible twos.

I call Ana and she picks up the phone. In the back, I hear my daughter crying and Teddy yelling. "Hello?" She asks.

"Hi baby," I say. I hear my son demanding to see me. He thinks we are on FaceTime.

"Oh hi Christian, hold on Teddy you can take a turn in a second," my wife says in her stern mom voice. I can imagine her trying to soothe phoebe while Teddy wraps around her leg.

"How have they been?" I ask.

"We've seen better days," I hear a loud crash. Phoebe starts crying even louder. My poor Ana.

"Theodore Grey, what did I say about touching the chairs?" My wife says. Teddy has an obsession with making the chairs fall. My wife blames me for showing him an episode of Tom and Jerry where the cat runs under the table and knocks all the chairs over. We rewatched that scene almost 50 times.

"Shhh Phoebe," my wife tries to calm her.

"I wish I could be there, baby," I say.

"You have work to do Mr. Grey. Besides, we have some baby Orajel on the way," she says and I frown picturing my baby girl chewing on her fingers in pain.

"I'll be home as soon as I can. I'm boarding the jet now," I say.

"I can't wait to see you," she says.

"I know me too," I say.

"Say bye bye to dada, Teddy," I hear Ana say.

"Daddy I woves you dis much," I can picture my little man stretching his arms out wide.

"I love you more, Teddy Bear," I say and he giggles.

We hang up and I board the jet. It is a long 8-hour flight, I am thinking about my kids for most of it. My poor little girl in pain and my funny little man missing me.

I get out and get in the back of Taylor's car. It is 1 in the morning and we are all exhausted. I am very excited to hit the hay. I am hoping the kids went down easy for Ana.

When I get home and walk in I grab a water and head upstairs. When I walk into Teddy's room I find him asleep on his belly in his crib. We had his race car jammies on. I smile at how sweet he is.

I could stare at him sleeping all day. His cheek is squished against the mattress making him look so cute. I can't help but take some photos of him. I turn his sound machine back to his favorite sound of the ocean waves and sneak out.

When I head into the nursery my heart drops to find an empty crib in the beautifully done nursery. It has pink walls and a monogrammed Phoebe above her crib. I check in the crib once more and run to my room.

I hear my daughter before I see her. I walk into my room and see my wife standing in her robe rocking phoebe side to side trying to soothe her. My poor girl has her hand and a teething ring in her mouth.

"Christian," she says and rushes to me. I kiss her deeply and hug her tightly. I give her another kiss and rub Phoebe's back.

"She's been crying since midnight," my wife says and I nod. I take her in my arms and she stares up at me for a second before crying again.

"You go to bed. You've had her for the past two days. I'll get her down," I say. I start rocking her side to side.

"No I feel bad you have traveled all day," Ana says. This woman. My wife. My muse. Amazes me.

"Ana no, go to bed. You've had two kids for two days straight go get some sleep," I say. She kisses me then kisses our whimpering baby girl.

I walk out and head downstairs into the kitchen. On the counter is baby orajel. I position Phoebe so she is sitting in my lap with her facing me. I put some gel on my fingers and run it over her gums. I feel her little teeth trying to pop out.

My poor girl. I then switch her teething rings out so she has one from the freezer that is cold. I give her some gripe water. A trick my mom told me about that worked with Mia when she was teething.

I did call my mom on the way home at 1 in the morning. Teddy never had this much pain. We just gave him a teething ring and he was happy as a clam. I take my girl up to her room. She has quieted down a bit but is still whimpering.

"Shhh shh," I say as I lay her on her changing table. I change her wet diaper and put on a fresh one. I decide to leave her in just a diaper and wrap her in her cozy blanket. It is a floral blanket that Phoebe loves to lay on. It is so soft.

I sit down in her glider chair. She holds the cold teething ring in her mouth and starts to calm down. All that crying really wore her out. I put her against my chest and wrap the blanket around us. I rub her back and turn on her sound machine. Her little hand creeps up and grabs my shirt to hold.

Oh, this girl. She is fighting sleep as she stares at me. "Sleep baby girl," I say. A big smile forms on her face as she hears my voice.

I stroke her cheek with my finger and she opens her mouth and smiles. My entire heart is melted. She yawns as I continue to rub her back. Soon I hear her breathing even out and look down to see my girl sleeping peacefully.

I keep her on my chest and relax. This is where I am the happiest. I let her stay like that for almost an hour before Ana comes in. She smiles at the sight in front of her and takes a picture of Phoebe and me.

I take the teething ring out of her hand and set it down. I put her in her floral PJs and she doesn't even stir. I lay her in her crib and put my arms around Ana as we stare at her. The only sounds being her breathing and her sound machine.

We sneak out of the room and head to bed. Phoebe will be up early for sure so we go to bed immediately for some sleep.

(end flashback)

My dad has always had this way of soothing me. I wish I could have seen him with me when I was a baby. He is going to be the best grandpa.

He said that is his favorite Christmas gift he has ever gotten. That melted my heart. I got my mom a necklace with Ted's and my initials engraved in the back. And I got Teddy a plane ticket to Miami from New Jersey to visit Caroline for spring break. He was very happy about that.

I got from Nathan a plane ticket to come visit him for my birthday. Which was so sweet. My dad and mom got me a summer trip with Nathan and Ava and Tyler to go to the California trip. I am so excited about that. Teddy, well he got me a bottle of vodka and my dad about had a stroke. Ted's 21 now and supplies me with alcohol.

I am so excited to spend Christmas with my family. It is going to be one of the best nights this winter break. I can feel it.