A/N This chapter contains themes of suicide and self-harm. Please read at your own discretion.

Robin took a deep breath; the important thing was to act normal.

It had been several hours since Wally had come to say good bye, he told the younger that he was pretty sure he was clear from the effects of secondary drowning, but if he experienced any shortness of breath or light headedness, he needed to seek help immediately.

Robin had nodded, knowing it was best to just agree, even though he was perfectly aware of what the symptoms looked like and how to treat them.

When the red-had was gone, Robin had changed into his running clothes and set about doing his usual routine. He knew Wally would follow through on his threat. Maybe if he acted normal, pretended everything was fine, Bruce would think Wally was being paranoid. Deep down he knew Bruce was more paranoid than Wally could ever be, but he didn't know what else to do. This plan seemed logical.

When he walked into the main room, all of the Titans were watching a movie. When they sensed his presence, Star's face lit up.

'Robin! You are awake!' she cried. She went to hug him, but Cyborg stopped her.

'Don't smother him Star, we've got to give him room to breathe for a while.'

Robin knew this wasn't true, but Starfire seemed to accept this and simply smiled at him.

'How are you feeling?'

'Better, thanks Star. Nothing a day's sleep couldn't cure.' He tried to give his best reassuring smile. He used to be so good at those, but these days they never seemed convincing.

'Going to the gym?' asked Raven.

'Yeh, in a bit. It's my day to do dishes, so I'll do that first.' As he turned to head to the kitchen, he heard Beast Boy groan. They had a rota for dishes and today was meant to be Robin and Beast Boys turn.

'Aw man, but it's coming to the best part!' whined the green child.

'Don't worry BB. I've already seen it, I'll go help, Rob.' Said Cyborg, standing from the couch.

Beast Boy looked a little shocked at this development, but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he didn't comment. Neither did Robin as both teens entered the kitchen. He figured the eldest Titan wanted to talk to him in private.

They made small talk as they began cleaning the growing pile of dishes. Cyborg washed them and then handed them over to Robin to dry. When they were halfway through, Robin sighed. He was on edge, he couldn't take the suspense any longer.

'Come on Cy, spill.' Said Robin, carefully, placing one of the glasses back in the cupboard.

The half-robot raised his only eyebrow.

'You never let Beast Boy get out of doing the dishes.' Robin said. 'Which means you wanted to be alone. What do you need?'

Cyborg looked down into the bubbly water, contemplating the best way to discuss the topic.

'I think I know why you're so on edge.' He said carefully.

'What makes you think I'm on edge?'

Cyborg looked over at him with a "really?" expression.

'Ok, point taken.' Said Robin, he clearly hadn't been hiding it as well as he'd hoped.

'When did it happen?'

Robin frowned, it was suddenly registering that Cyborg might actually know the truth.

'Wally.' Robin said under his breath.

'He didn't say anything. I worked it out.' He waited for a beat. 'When did it happen?'

Robin had noticeably tensed but after a few moments, he answered. 'A year ago.'

'Jeez.' Cy raised his hands from the water, all pretence of doing the dishes forgotten. 'That isn't that long-ago Rob.'

'You're telling me.'

'Have you ever spoken to anyone about it?' He knew he was treading dangerous ground, so he tried to choose his questions carefully.

'There isn't much to talk about.' Said Robin flatly. 'What happened, happened. The guy was caught. End of story.'

'It was a guy?'

Robin paled, and Cyborg knew he had overstepped.

'I'm sorry, that was insensitive.'

'I really don't want to talk about this Cy.' Said Robin, turning back to his drying.

'You're going to have to at some point Robin. It's eating you from the inside.'

The comment made Robin's skin crawl with the phantom itching under his skin. He had spent so long trying to get rid of that feeling.

'Are you going to talk to Batman?'

Robin turned back to his friend. 'So, Wally did say something.'

'He might have mentioned it.' Cyborg raised his hands a little, he could see Robin's walls going up. 'Look, Rob, you're not well. After what you've been through, no one can blame you. But the cracks are starting to show mate. I think Wally's right. You need to go home.'

'I can't go home.' Robin whispered.

'Why not?'

Because I blame him for what happened, Dick thought. But he slapped it down the moment it entered his head. 'I just can't be there.'

'Then at least take a break from the vigilante lifestyle. We all knew horrible things could happen when you join the hero life, but I can't believe you went back to the mask so soon after it happened.'

It clicked in Robin's head. Cyborg thought he'd been attacked as Robin. He thought it had happened because he'd gone out wearing the mask. As if somehow that explained what happened!

'You have no idea what you're talking about.' Robin whispered. He threw the towel on the counter and walked out of the room. When he walked passed the team, Raven caught a wave of his emotions.

'Rob where are you going?' called Cyborg.

'For a run.' The hero answered angrily. 'Do not follow me.'

'Dude, it's pouring.' But their leader didn't listen, he slammed the door leaving the team staring after him. Raven looked over at the robot.

'What the hell did you do?'

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Dick could barely feel the rain as he ran through the darkness. He'd pulled his cap down low on his face to stop the water hitting his eyes but even this and the long sleeves of his shirt did little to protect him from the water; if anything, it soaked him through even more.

But he didn't stop running, his mind was in chaos. Cyborg knew the truth. It was only a matter of time before the others did too. Then they would all be looking at him with those judging and pitying eyes.

'It was a guy?'

Cyborgs' voice rang through his head. The look that had flashed over the older boy's face upon this realisation. It had rubbed salt in the wound. He had felt disgusting and tainted standing there under Cyborg's gaze. They didn't understand. No one understood. He couldn't take away the mask. Robin was all he had. Everything else was broken! He slowed his pace, coming to a stop in the pouring rain.

Everything was broken. There was no way he would be able to convince Bruce he was alright now that Cyborg knew, and he had stormed out. What the hell was he meant to say when he went back to the tower. How was he meant to explain his behaviour?

Like the rainwater running down his body, the realisation washed over him. He couldn't go back. It would be Young Justice all over again. His teammates would go from respecting him to mollycoddling him; treating him like a china doll.

Maybe he had made a mistake deciding to join a new team. He needed space and time. Maybe he needed to do that alone. Go to a new city, set up on his own. Completely leave the past behind him.

His feet seemed to know where he was going and before he had truly processed the thoughts, he was descending the steps into the subway.

There was nobody on the platform, he had no idea how long he had been running but he suddenly realised it must be late. A logical part of his brain told him that he would be easier to track on CCTV if he was the only one on the footage. But another part of his mind was glad there was no one here, the last thing he wanted was someone asking him if he was alright.

He stood on the edge of the platform, deep in thought. He would catch the next train, it didn't matter where it was going, he would figure that out tomorrow. He just needed to get away before Batman could get to Jump.

He could hear the train down in the tunnel. He just had to get on it and he would be gone. By the time Bruce realised he was missing he would be far away.

'Are you just going to keep running?'

Wally's voice was suddenly in his head. Was he going to keep running? Was this going to be his life from now on? Running away as soon as memories of Bane caught back up to him? But what else could he do? He couldn't go back to the Tower; the illusion of the fearless Boy Wonder was broken. He couldn't go back to the Mountain; the team had already decided he was helpless. He couldn't go home; he couldn't look Bruce in the eye knowing that deep down he blamed him for what happened.

He had nowhere to go.

He'd never found out Bane's motivations for attacking him. But whatever they were, he seemed to have won. Dick's lip trembled as he thought back to Wally's question. Did he want to live? He thought about his life and his future. He couldn't see a way past this moment other than having drugs forced into him that made him feel sick and sleepy. Having part of him ripped away, leaving only the broken parts behind. He knew Bruce would do it. After his breakdown 4 years ago, that was exactly what he had done. That was what awaited him if he went back now. Benched from Robin and dosed with anti-depressants and sedatives.

No, he realised, he didn't want to live like that.

The train was coming towards him now. Once again, his feet seemed to move on their own. He took a step forward until he was passed the "safe distance" yellow line and his feet were on the edge.

It would be just like jumping off a building, like a leap of faith.

The trained thundered closer and he lifted his foot over the edge, hovering over the tracks.

A leap of faith.

The force with which he was pulled away from the track was shocking and his head snapped forward. Dick found himself pinned against the floor with one arm behind his back and a heavy weight on top of him. Panic flowed through him. No, not again! He thrashed, trying to buck the weight off him. He would not let this happen again!

'Calm down.' A deep male voice said above him. 'You're going to hurt yourself.'

The voice was familiar, but Dick didn't stop.

'The more you struggle the more it will hurt. Relax.'

The memory of Bane's words made tears fall from his eyes and he screamed into the tiles.

'Robin calm down.'

'Get off me!' he shouted.

'I'll release you when you are not a danger to yourself.' said the voice, holding tighter as the boy's fight renewed. 'Richard calm down.'

Dick froze. Whoever it was above him, holding him down; he knew he was Robin and he knew who he was under the mask. He twisted his head trying to see who was holding him, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not catch a glimpse.

Breathing started to become harder. He couldn't get enough oxygen into his lungs.

'Calm down.' The voice said again, this time a little more gently. 'Breathe.'

But the words would not turn into action. Dick found the edge of his vision beginning to fade. He was passing out. He was in the hands of a stranger, with no protection, no weapons and he was passing out!

'It's alright boy, you're safe.'

For some reason, as he accepted the embrace of the darkness, he believed what the voice had said.