Chapter 10

What You Don't Know...

"Hey, Koga! Can you wait a second?"

"Yeah, we're trying to breathe!"

"Breathe later," Koga called over the nearby hill. "And, quit complaining. You've needed this training for months, anyway."

Kagome knew she shouldn't find their antics this amusing. But, with the warmth of the sun on her face and the comforting presence of companions around her, she felt a giggle of amusement bubble up at how Koga glared half-heartedly at the two warriors struggling to keep up with his swift pace. Poor Ginta and Hakkaku.

Really, Koga didn't need to be so hard on them.

"Determined, isn't he?" Sango muttered beside Kagome as she adjusted large pack on her shoulder.

"There's something to be said for that kind of dedication," Miroku sighed to the other side of the group, causing Sango to bristle slightly.

"Yeah, he's going to kill us all," Sango countered. "How fast does he think we can go?"

Kagome only gave a slight smile. Koga had been eager to leave the temple since he first heard they had decided to go to Kagome's village. Well, more like since she agreed to go. But, there had been no denying he was itching to move as soon as possible.

However, Kagome had promised Miroku that, when they fought Naraku, he could be there to help destroy him. He'd suffered greatly under that monster's terror as well, after all. So, it only seemed fair.

It had taken some talking to persuade Koga to stay put long enough for the healing hoshi to get back to his feet. But, it had only taken a few days. And, those days had been enough to send Koga and his betas to pacing about the grounds, like they were caged.

In a way, Kagome supposed it must have felt like it to them. But, now that they'd been given the okay to leave, Koga was insisting on scouting the route ahead.

Which meant, Ginta and Hakkaku would be scouting with him.

Unfortunately, Koga's definition of scouting ahead meant he'd pretty much disappear from sight before running back and informing the three humans and single kitsune rider taking up the rear of what was ahead and suggesting, in none-too-gently terms, to pick up the pace. A tactic that was driving Sango more and more crazy each time he did it.

"He comes back one more time—"

"He's just trying to help," Kagome replied soothingly. "We should reach someplace to rest soon."

"Provided he lets us," Sango groused in return. "Really, we can't match his speed. And, he knows it. And, with the hoshi still recovering—"

"I did not realize you worried so much about my health, my dear Sango," Miroku crooned with a smile. "It lifts my spirits to know you think so well of me."

"What I think is the least of your worries," Sango quickly returned, her face flushing in embarrassment. "I'd be more concerned on if you're going to tip over and pass out by the road."

"I assure you, my stamina is better than you think, dear Sango," Miroku replied teasingly.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it!" Sango cried accusingly.

However, Miroku just flashed an overly innocent smile. "And, what are you think of, my dear?"

"Here they go again," Shipo sighed from Kagome's shoulder, working his tiny jaw from side to side in annoyance.

Kagome guessed his irritation understandable. While Sango was glad the hoshi had recovered well, he'd apparently developed a bit of a flirtatious streak with his new-found health. Another stressor to Sango's nerves.

A quick upward told the priestess the sun was just reaching mid-day. Perhaps it was time for a break.

"Koga!"

SSS

They were moving so slow. Too slow for Koga's comfort.

The Alpha knew the journey to Kagome's village would take a few days but still, he couldn't help but find the pace grating against his nerves. Couldn't the humans go any faster?

He'd been more than willing to carry Kagome, he could do so for hours without effect but, she'd been adamant that she would stay with the others. And, Ginta and Hakkaku were strong but not strong enough to carry a human each indefinitely. Besides, the humans were suspicious as it was. There was no way they'd agree to the plan.

So, that meant, they were stuck at Koga's equivalency of a snail's pace.

"Koga!..."

The loud cry of his woman had Koga stopping suddenly and immediately turning on his heel to race back to the humans. While he hadn't smelled any threat nearby, there was no-telling what could possibly cause her to call for him. If Kagome was in danger, he'd be there to protect her.

However, as soon as he skidded to a stop, Koga couldn't spy any danger about. Just the two humans and the kit blinking at him in stunned confusion. And, Koga was feeling the same confusion.

"What is wrong?" Koga asked, turning his sharp eyes towards his woman, who appeared completely fine, if not slightly winded.

She merely gave him a warm smile, her flushed cheeks brightening in the sunlight.

"Nothing is wrong, Koga," Kagome informed calmly. "I didn't mean to startle you. But, don't you think it's time to rest?"

Koga could only blink in shock. Rest? They wanted to…..

He found he could barely form the thought, it was so unbelievable. They were practically going backwards and they needed to rest? They were never going to reach the village, at this rate.

However, before Koga could voice the objection, he spotted the pleading gleam in his woman's eyes. She wanted to stop. And, regardless of how much Koga wanted to keep going, he found he didn't have the heart to deny her this request.

Besides, Ginta and Hakkaku were beginning to wear down too. Many a breather wouldn't hurt them.

Lifting his head to the wind, Koga scented a lake nearby. That meant fish and fish meant a quick meal. That would do.

Nodding in quick agreement, Koga turned on his heel and followed the scent to a clearing, the grass new and soft under his feet. Perfect. His woman would sit in comfort.

The constant huffing from his men was enough to alert nearly everything from miles away they were about. But, Koga figured that was to their advantage. It would warn other yokai to stay away. Still, they couldn't be that tired!

Hakkaku's body dropping suddenly on the grass said otherwise. Koga cocked a dark brow as Ginta crawled to join him, chest rising and falling as they desperately filled their lungs. Oh, for the love of—

"Knock it off," Koga snarled as he chuffed in frustration. "You've been skimping on training if this winds you."

"Why… did we stop….anyway?" Hakkaku asked, clearing his throat.

"The humans need to rest," Koga answered calmly. "Kagome asked for it."

"Thank the Kami," Hakkaku huffed in relief.

Koga rolled his eyes at his beta's reaction but Ginta's silence had him studying the other male in suspicion.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked, causing Ginta to stiffen in place.

Ever since Kagome had been found, Ginta seemed to relax, except for when Kagome was around him. It was as if he prepared himself for something, like a storm that refused to come. Either way, Koga didn't like it.

However, Ginta only shook his head in response.

"Nothing," he huffed as he tried to catch his breath.

Koga saw that as the crap it was. However, since the winter, Ginta had been tense. Understandably so but still. If Koga's beta had a problem with his mate then that meant trouble. And, the pack had dealt with enough trouble already.

Before the Alpha had a chance to face the issue head-on, the approach of the humans had him gritting his teeth in frustration. He'd deal with it, later.

"This is perfect, Koga," Koga heard Kagome say, the warm in her voice soothing to his fraying patience. "Thank you."

The Alpha was so busy soaking up the praise of his woman, he never noticed his beta carefully rising to his feet and slipping into the surrounding trees, out of sight from the others.

SSS

He was a horrible person.

An absolutely horrible person who just couldn't move on.

Ginta was happy Kagome was back with Koga; ecstatic even! His Alpha deserved no less than the happiness he felt with his woman. And, it had been Ginta's goal to return the two back to each-other. But, once that was done, Ginta found he could barely even look at Kagome, much-less be in the same room as her. He just….felt rage.

What the hell was wrong with him?

"Ginta?"

The very voice he was trying to avoid had the hunter's shoulders tightening in tense preparation. What was she doing there?

"I'm fine," Ginta quickly offered, hoping it would be enough to send her back to the other. "Just wanted a moment to myself, to catch my breath."

He waited for the tell-tale sounds of Kagome walking away, leaving him to his privacy, but instead the answering silence just had his jaw grinding in irritation. Would she just go back to the others already?

"Ginta, are you sure you're alright?" she asked, taking a step towards him of all things. "You've been avoiding me lately."

Ginta hated that she noticed. He'd tried to be subtle about the distance he was trying to maintain but if she'd noticed…. Damn-it.

"Do you really expect me to just walk away when something's bothering you?" Kagome challenged, sounding like a scolding mother.

It was enough to snap Ginta's tightly wound control.

"You've done it before," he muttered before he could take it back.

Suddenly realizing what he'd let slip, Ginta snapped wide eyes towards Kagome, watching the flash of hurt stamp itself across her face. She then lowered her eyes in wounded contrition and Ginta felt a flush of shame war with the satisfaction he felt over that.

"I guess I deserved that," she replied with a humorless smile.

Ginta hated he felt vindicated by how small her voice sounded. Yeah, he was a horrible person.

"I'm so sorry," Kagome continued her hand hesitating as she lifted it towards him. "I heard how the winter was hard for you."

Ginta blinked in shock as he tried to make his mouth work to talk. She what?

"Sango would send word as to how the tribe was doing every once-in-a-while," Kagome explained. "It killed me to hear what you dealt with."

Ginta snapped his eyes away from the pity on Kagome's face. He could take many things but that was unacceptable to him.

"It was nothing none of the others didn't have to deal with," he replied half-heartedly.

"Still, you were punished because of me," Kagome countered. "Ginta, please know, I never wanted anyone to get hurt. I thought if I left, you'd all have a chance to move-on. To start over."

"I know," he replied. "In a way, we did. We had to. But, Koga took care of it."

Kagome sighed. "Without me," she finished for him.

Again, Ginta felt shame for the hurt understanding in her eyes but he swallowed it and forced his eyes to hold her in quiet challenge.

"Yes," he answered curtly. "You went away. You disappeared without a trace and Koga had to not only pick up the pieces but keep our tribe from tearing itself apart. He broke his back and nearly his spirit trying to keep it all together. And, you were gone."

The accusation was harsh and possibly unfair but Ginta didn't care. He'd seen what they had suffered; she hadn't. She had no right to say what she heard hurt her.

"You were his woman, his mate," Ginta practically snarled. "Koga offered you everything he had and you deceived him, in his own den. You deceived me!

Self-preservation shouted for the hunter to stop. He knew Koga would gut him for this but Ginta found once he'd started, he couldn't stop. If she wanted to know what was bothering him, he'd tell her exactly what it was.

"You didn't even give him a chance," he accused sharply. "You just decided how he'd react once he learned the truth and you ran.
'I know you feel something for him. And, he hasn't forgotten you. He can't. That's how we ookami are. We mate for life. He had to find you again."

Ginta didn't know what he should think about Kagome's silence through his rant but, if she was willing to let him talk, he'd say it all. Much to his own shame.

"I just didn't know what he'd do once he found you again."

The following quiet was like a stone tied about his neck. Ginta could practically count the minutes he had left after this outburst. Koga wouldn't just let it go. But, hopefully, she now understood. That she would see all Koga worked for and never take it for granted again. Koga never doubted her. She couldn't then doubt him. If that was the result, it was worth it.

"I understand you're mad at me, Ginta," Kagome replied after a moment longer of silence. "And, you have every right to be. It's okay. I did assume. I didn't give Koga…. nearly the amount of credit or faith I should have. I failed him, you, all of the tribe. And, that is unforgivable."

Ginta's shoulders relaxed as he released a breath. It was like air suddenly filled his lungs after being held under-water, the relief and pain so inter-mingled.

"I don't want to demand anything of you," Kagome continued, causing Ginta's brow to furrow slightly. "I certainly don't have the right to. But, you were the one person I knew I could trust. The one person who was kind and understanding to me even before Koga accepted me. You were my friend.
'Do you think you ever could forgive me? To see me as a friend again?"

Ginta clenched his eyes shut as he stepped away from Kagome's grip.

He didn't feel like lying. He didn't think he had it in him at the moment. So, instead, he told her the truth.

"I don't know."

Ginta knew the answer hurt her again. But, right then, he was done with this conversation. He felt raw and relieved all at once, like a wound that had been cleansed but throbbed from the pain. He just wanted to be alone. Thankfully, Kagome seemed to catch-on to that.

"I'll see if the others need any help," she replied half-heartedly. "Koga is determined to fish out the lake. Just… join us if you're hungry."

Ginta nodded as he took a deep breath. The soft padding of her feet in the grass fading was what he waited for before he finally allowed himself to crumple to the ground. His breathing grew ragged and it was taking everything he had not to let tears burn into his clenched eyes.

He just had to remember to breathe. Just breathe. If he kept doing that, then everything would be fine…..eventually.

SSS

Shipo sniffed the fragrant air in deep concentration. It was so close. He just knew it.

Hopping through a few of the nearby trees, the kit suddenly dropped to the forest floor, nose twitching with the familiar buried green scent.

The wolves were splashing like fools in the lake, trying to grab what fish they could and the humans had nothing but rations with them. So, Shipo had thought he could contribute with something that would truly be a treat to them.

And, there it was!

Careful but quickly, the kit dug his tiny fists into the rich soil. Being as cautious as possible, he finally unveiled his prize. They were perfect.

The shoots were fresh and green, just right to be eaten in any way they wished. Yep, he was the master of finding the forests' treasures.

Satisfied with his discovery, Shipo gathered the takenoko in his arms and skipped back towards camp. The soft distant thrum of buzzing had him grinning ear to ear. Bees meant honey. Maybe he'd look for it later.

For now, it was time to present his offering and accept their praise.