"You wouldn't believe how long I've waited, Gaius." Merlin says, sitting down with Gaius to eat whatever it is that Gaius has concocted. "I've been waiting so long," he says in between mouthfuls of food, "I've even missed your cooking!" he jokes with a boyish grin. Though youthful in appearance, Gaius can see the years behind Merlin's eyes.

"Well, now it will be I who calls you old." He replies. Merlin laughs, something he has not done often. "So, you were alone the entire time?"

"Yes." It's a lie and Gaius knows it.

"Merlin..." He says in that familiar tone that lets Merlin know that he's been caught in a lie. That oh-so-familiar tone that causes so many memories to rush back to Merlin. Normally, these moments of reminiscence would make him smile, but he is thinking of his belladonna, his Lily... So many years have passed, yet the pain is fresh.

"I don't want to talk about it." He says quietly. Gaius doesn't push; he knows Merlin will talk when he is ready.

"What now, then?"Gaius asks, changing the subject. Merlin readily accepts this change.

"Arthur will fulfill his destiny and unite Albion. There are, of course, different kingdoms now, but that won't change anything. He will bring peace, and then I will finally rest."

"Rest?"

"Die."

Gaius gives a start,

"Don't say things like that, Merlin." He chides.

"Gaius, when you've lived as long as I have, you no longer fear death."

"I fear your death." He murmurs quietly.

"Don't. I will not actively seek death, it will simply be possible, an inevitability as it is for everyone else."

"Right. Naturally..."

Merlin can't help but think that he will embrace Death when he comes to collect him at last. It means he will see Lily once more, and his father, and his mother (for Ealdor was not spared from time). He will see Lancelot and Freya and all of those whom he has lost over the years. His old sorrow will cease and he shall finally know true rest, eternal rest. And Lily, most importantly. He will see Lily and he will hold her in his arms once more. He will brush her cheek with his fingers and he will behold her beauty. They will gaze at each other lovingly, and...

"Merlin? ...Merlin?"

He blinks and looks at Gaius. He had not heard him calling, so caught up in his reverie was he. He sighs heavily.

"I married once." He confesses. Gaius looks taken aback. More than that, he's shocked. For a moment, he only stares at him, which Merlin finds unnerving. "Her name was Lily. It was the Victorian Era... er... the year one thousand-eight hundred and twenty-three. I had met her a year prior in a small little café." He adds nervously: "Like a tavern, only without ale... She was so beautiful. My heart was hers from the moment I saw her. I just knew, Gaius. I don't know how, but I just knew... She caught me staring and she came over to talk to me. Her voice... Like music on a light summer's breeze... Her skin was so perfectly white, untouched by the sun, free from blemishes. Like... Like porcelain. Flawless porcelain..." He pauses for a moment, "Her eyes were like emeralds and I could see the intelligence behind them. She was well-learned. Her eyes weren't the only giveaway. There was this book she was reading... Firdausi, his Shah-nama. You've heard of it, I don't doubt. The book is old enough. She read and understood every word. It was her favourite. In our time together, short though it was, she would always insist on reading a passage from it aloud each night as we lay in bed. It was like her form of prayer, I suppose. She loved Firdausi's willingness to write about the great Persian kings from the past, even though his king was Muslim. She adored how he was too revered by the people for the king to dare to have him killed, but instead asked him to write poems about him. It enthralled her that a writer might be greater than a king..." He sighed softly. "And I never had to lie to her.

"For once, I allowed myself to be completely honest with someone. She knew that I was old, she knew that I had magic, she knew all I had been through, all I had seen— and she loved me anyway! She loved me for who I really was. There were no secrets between us. Never. Not one. I dedicated every minute of every day to her, I waited on her night and day (not that she ever asked anything of me), and I loved her with all my heart." He falls silent.

"I can't even begin to comprehend how difficult it must be."

"She died, Gaius."

"Yes, I would imagine so. She—"

"No, Gaius. She died after only nine years of marriage. She fell ill. I think it was tuberculosis. She died two months later."

"Oh, Merlin..."

He has tears in his eyes now,

"And I couldn't save her. She meant everything to me, but I couldn't save her. I tried, Gaius. My powers... they did nothing."

Gaius pulls him into a hug and the not-so-young warlock begins to cry in earnest.

"I thought you were dead. When Merlin came back without you..."

"Technically, I did die. Apparently it's a long story. Merlin was trying to get me to Avalon in time, but it was too late. And then I fell asleep and when I woke up, the forest was different and Morgana was about to kill Merlin."

"Morgana... I... I had wished her dead."

"I know. I, as well."

They are quiet for a moment, sitting next to each other on the bed, Gwen with her head resting against Arthur's shoulder. He turns his head to look at her and then frames her face in his hands, gently guiding her face towards his. Their lips meet and it's as though an electric current goes through them (though they can't name the feeling). Arthur pulls Gwen closer and her body rests against his. They fall back onto the bed, their lips still fiercely engaged, moving together as one. Her fingers entangle in his hair so that she can clutch him closer. Emotions and desires certainly could have escalated if not for:

"There's something I should tell you." They both say at the same time. Gwen laughs and kisses his cheek. She sits up and Arthur follows suit.

"Go ahead, Arthur."

"Merlin has magic." Arthur says after a moment. He looks at Gwen to see her reaction, but is surprised that there is none. "You knew?" He almost feels betrayed again.

"No, I didn't. I just... I had a feeling." She says, "I never said anything because I couldn't be sure if it was true. And I didn't feel anyone was in any danger even if he did have magic. He is proof that magic can be used for good." Arthur thinks about her words for a moment and then nods.

"I couldn't have put it better myself. Now, what did you want to tell me?"

"I... I am with child. Your child. Our child..."

Arthur seems to smile dazedly before he faints.