Chapter Eighteen : Irreversibly So
If it could be accomplished, Theresa never wanted to come back to what would be left of South Sudan once they leave in her life ever again. She's been in shithole's all over the world, almost died more times than the amount of years she's old, but this place made her feel praticularly unnerved.
For a while, they had Ray and Lisa guiding them through the mess that has only gotten worse with each passing minute. Then the convoy that would take the embassy personel to the airport arrived and Bravo had to make it back to the airfield by themselves, which wouldn't be so difficult if they didn't run into protesters at every twist and turn. Sonny and Brock also had to team up and pulled her from the back to inbetween them when the back window was hit out and a the glass shattered all over Theresa. Luckily, she closed her eyes and no glass got into her eyes, but the force of the blast and the little proximity between her and the window cause that some of the shards of glass to hit her face, leaving little scrapes all over her face. Theresa didn't care, they would heal and not even scar when they do.
Shouting and screaming was still heard all around, some English but mostly Sudanese that Theresa didn't understand a word of. Give her Spanish, Russian, Chinese, Japanese, Thai or even Hawaiian, and she's your girl, but Theresa could fully admit Sudanese is not her strong suit. Or any other language that isn't the above mentioned.
All in all, Theresa concluded, this mission wasn't that bad - once you looked past the shitty situation they were in (which Trent was getting them out of with his superior driving skills as they were well on their way to the airport where they woul board the plane and finally go home) and that ignorant idiot Crowley (who eventually ordered the evacuation before there was any casualties, so Theresa could finally let her anger towards him go).
Then Jason's sat phone rang.
"What do you mean, he left you?" Jason asked, voice full of disbelief, worry and barely concealed anger. Theresa's stomach twisted violently, because in no universe could those seven words mean anything even remotely good.
It was quiet for a few seconds, the person on the line answering before Jason spoke again, "You got to be kidding."
"All right, we're coming for you." Jason said, turning his head to Trent. "Back to the embassy." He ordered Bravo Four, who immediately turned around and made his way to the embassy.
"What's wrong, Jay?" Trent was the one to ask, before any of the other's could.
"That was Davis. Crowley left her and Ray behind at the embassy.
"He fucking what?" Sonny exploded, lurching forward in his seat.
"I'm going to cut his face of with my sharpest knife." Theresa threatened, voice dangerously low. Brock cast his best friend a wary glance, eyes full of murderous intent, and he would have felt sorry for Crowley. If he didn't leave two of his team mates behind, but as it so happens, he did leave one of them behind and Brock couldn't wait to see what Theresa had in store for the man. (Silently he hoped that she wouldn't really cut his face off, because that would just be super gross. The canine handler wasn't that worried, Jason would stop her before before she gets to that point. Hopefully.)
"Yeah, don't worry, we're gonna go get them." Jason told Sonny, trying to settle him. He turned and looked at Theresa over his shoulder. And Tessa, you're not cutting anyone's face off, alright?" Silence was his only answer. "Theresa Kane." There was a warning and unspoken order in his tone that Theresa knew all to well.
She huffed in response and crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine, I won't cut his face off."
The rest of the drive back to the embassy was spent in a tense silence, all five of the Bravo members concerned for the well being of their teammates. Bravo arrived at embassy, but went to the building across the street. It was to dangerous to try and go inside using the front and back entrances because it was packed with protestors, who would surely kill Bravo. While they aren't afraid of dying and knowing that death could come for them at any given moment, they also know that they would avoid it for as long as possible.
Theresa mentally did a count of the weapons that she had on her. Most of her knives, her rifle and two extra Glock's were in her weapons bag that she left at the embassy earlier. All she had on her were an MP-7 and five mags of ammunition for it that was in the backpack by Sonny's feet, a Glock - her extra mags for her gun was in her weapons bag, eight knives; one on the inside of each combat boot and six to the body knife sheath strapped around her torso. Suddenly she wished she wore cargo pants instead of skinny jeans so that she could have taken more ammo with her.
Briefly she wondered what happened to her two bags but then dismissed the thought. She could replace everything inside it - clothes, knives, ammo, rifle and her two Glocks. She couldn't, however, replace Lisa and Ray that easily.
"Davis, we're going to secure an observation post across from the embassy. Stand by." Jason said once the woman picked up his call as Trent parked the SUV and they got out of the vehicle. As they entered the building, Jason gave his orders. "Four and Five, cover the ground floor, take out anyone that tries to come in here. Three and six, with me."
Theresa frowned a little at being seperated from Brock and Trent as she followed Jason and Sonny up the nearest stair case. Normally they'd be pair together according to their numbers, Jason and Ray, Sonny and Trent, Brock and Theresa. Before Nate died, he, Jason, Ray and Sonny swapped around a lot. Trent, Brock and Theresa always stuck together, providing overwatch, protecting Bravo One through Four's' six. Sometimes, like back in Iran, Theresa would be paired with Jason, but not often and not without reason.
Which is why this made her frown, but she followed without question, knowing her Boss has a reason for everything he does.
What Theresa doesn't know - and won't ever know - is that Jason wants to keep her near him, knowing that when it comes to her team, her family, she doesn't compromise, doesn't make exceptions and doesn't neccesarily listen to Jason. Okay, sure, not trusting and forgiving Mandy isn't exactly disobeying him, but still. Who knows what she'd do when she lays eyes on that idiot Crowley. He needs her near so he can reign her fiery, and lethal, temper in.
"Sonny, Tessa, watch the window." Jason ordered, pointing to the lone window on the first floor of the building that looks out on the embassy across the street. The two each took a knee in front of the window, looking for any signs that the group at the front gates were about to jump the gate.
Sonny, who was smart enough to take his rifle with him when they left the embassy earlier, looked down at the ground through his scope. Theresa, who only had her MP-7, watched through the much smaller but no less effective scope, eyes widening at the sight, jaw dropping a little.
"I can't be seeing this right." Theresa squinted to make sure. "Is that dumbass really making a Molotov right now?"
"No, I see it too, little lady." Sonny assured her before calling out to Jason. "Hey Boss."
"No, Sonny, you can't put a bullet in his brain."
"Heart would work too." Sonny muttered to himself, and Theresa snorted, but worry still pulled at stomach. If that crow breached the perimeter, then Lisa and Ray- no. Nope. She is not going to think of that. Jason is going to come up with a plan, and they are going to get Lisa and Ray out of there safely.
"Jace, what's the plan?" Theresa asked, steady voice not betraying any of her inner turmoil.
"I'm thinking Tessa." Jason said, voice void of any emotions as his mind raced with possiblities. He has not yet thought of a positive one that ends with all of them coming out alive.
"I really can't smoke this idiot with the Molotov?" Sonny asked, just to be sure.
Jason thought about it, "Tell you what. If it looks like he's about to throw it at someone, shwack him."
"What if I thought he was gonna throw it?" Sonny questioned out loud, the screaming and shouting outside loud and clear even from inside the building their were in.
Theresa pressed her comms. "Hey Davis, Ray, tell me something: how's the weather down there?"
Inside the embassy, the two Bravo members couldn't help but look at each other and exchange a smile, knowing that this was Theresa's way of asking if they're okay. Ray grinned as he answered, "Aw, you know Tessa, hot and humid, although the heat's getting a little uncomfortable."
"Yeah, I hear you, brother." Theresa nodded to herself, understanding what he was really saying. He was worried about how much longer the gates would keep the protestors out. "Listen, Jace is working on a plan to get you out as we speak."
"I know." Ray really did know and silence fell over them once more.
"We made a friend." Lisa announced out of nowhere.
Theresa frowned, "What kind of a friend?"
"The vulture kind." Ray answered for Lisa, using the term favourited by their youngest team member.
Theresa pulled a sour face, "Lisa, why on earth would you make friends with a reporter?"
"Technically, he is Ray's friend." The petty officer answered, a slight hint of amusement in her tone.
"Ray?" Theresa questioned, more to keep the conversation going and to keep their minds occupied than for any other reason.
"Well, I saw him unconsious but alive right before the convoy's left, and I couldn't just leave him for dead." Their Second-in-Command answered.
"Our very own good Samaritan." Sonny quipped. "So proud of you, Ray."
"He left the flag." Jason announced, interrupting their conversation, then repeated his statement. "He left the flag."
"Crowley?" Sonny asked rhetorically. "He also left two of our people."
"Yeah, we've already established he's a dick." Theresa deadpanned, voice flatter than the horizon.
"Tessa." Jason reprimanded out of habit.
"What? It's true." The woman in question shrugged unapologetically. "Anyway, how does that help us? What, are we gonna take the flag down and surrender or something?"
"Not us, Davis." Jason answered and Theresa's eyes widened. She was just throwing an idea out there, not serious for even a second. Jason pressed his comms. "I think I got a way to get you guys out." The Master Chief immediately gained everyone's full attention.
"We could use one." Lisa admitted.
"Okay, first, I need you to tell Ray how to get to the control panel that operates the front gate. Then I got a job for you." Jason said then explained the plan to them, which Theresa thought was stupid, but if it worked, then they would get the three of them out safely.
"I'm at the front gate control." Ray told them after a minute or two.
"All right. Davis is on the roof." Jason, who kept his eyes nailed to the roof, said. Theresa and Sonny were both tempted to watch as Lisa took down the flag but knew they had to keep their eyes on the protestors, just in case one of them got a not so smart idea or pulled a hidden gun out from somewhere to shoot Lisa with.
"Want me to press it?" Ray asked, the shouting increasing as the protestors spotted Lisa on the roof.
"No, no, not yet." Jason denied and when the shouting and cheering raised in volume, the female Seal watching through her scope as the rowdy crowd went nuts,Theresa knew Davis was taking their flag down and raising the Sudanese one. "Press it." He ordered the second the Sudanese flag was up.
"They'll rush the front entrance. Meet you in the rear." Jason said and keyed out. He looked at Sonny and Theresa, who rose from their kneeling positions in front of the window when Ray opened the gate. "Let's go get them."
The two didn't need to be told twice as they booked it the hell out of there, eager to get to the car and pick up there remaining two team mates. Once downstairs, Jason gave Trent his intructions and the man drove like a madman to get to the back of the embassy.
They rounded the corner into the back street of the embassy with screeching tires. Sonny, Brock and Theresa got out of the SUV, MP-7's raised at the men who was approaching Lisa, Ray and the reporter they saved. They run once they saw they were severely out gunned. Brock, the injured reporter and Lisa got into the backseats, while Sonny, Theresa and Ray sat in the boot, guns raised and ready to shoot anyone who comes near their vehicle.
"Go, go, go!" Sonny said once the back door was shut. Trent floored it again, intent on getting his team to the airfield safety and without anymore complications. "Good to see you, Davis." The Texan drawled.
Lisa glanced over her shoulder at him, smiled when she saw him looking out of what had once been a window with Theresa and Ray. "Good to be seen." She admitted.
Finally the invisible noose around Theresa's neck loosened and a wave of relief washed her worry and fear away as she settled inbetween Sonny and Ray.
SEAL TEAM
Trent didn't slow down until they were at the airfield. All of Bravo, save for Trent, got out of the SUV as one of the Marine's on the airfield guided Trent onto the plane. Sonny, surprisingly, was the one who exploded first, Theresa the picture of calm. He stomped to the man, fury written all over his face, Theresa lingering in the back "Well, look who we got here. Hey, Crowley, how you doing, buddy? Can I get yourself a beer?" He was stopped and pulled away by Trent and Eric. "You weasel!" He spat as they pulled him away.
Jason walked to Crowley calmly, Theresa walked on the other side of the vehicle, knowing she'd grab him by the throat if she walked past him. Jason's voice was calm when he spoke, "Got something for you."
"Yeah, what's that?" Crowley asked tiredly, and Theresa scoffed as she reached the front of the vehicle, now directly across from the man who left two of her team members behind.
Jason handed him the flag, "Must have left it behind on accident."
Then everyone turned their gaze to the youngest member of Bravo, the only one who hasn't said or done anything but everyone expected her to. She looked at Crowley silently, a deadly glower on her face, everyone more than a little worried. Not even Jason knew what she was going to do. Or when.
"Weasel?" Theresa spat, finally breaking the silence. "More like a motherfucking coward." Before anyone could react or stop her, she pulled two knives from the sheath strapped to her torso and launched them at Crowley, one a milimeter from his neck. The other one - only one that actually hit him - nicked his ear just a little, causing the man to yelp.
"Are you crazy?" Crowley screeched as he clutched at his ear, shooting to his feet. "You could have killed me."
"Just like those protestors could have killed a man and woman I consider my family. How does it feel, huh? Knowing that you are surrounded by people who can and want to kill you?" Theresa asked, stepping closer and closer to the man. Suddenly an arm wrapped around her collarbones and waist from behind, pulling her away from the man.
"Did you see that? She is out of her mind! Completely out of control. I want to lodge a complaint." Crowley raged on.
"Oh, pipe down. Theresa is the best knifeman, woman, on our base, maybe even the entire Navy. If she was aiming to kill you, you'd be dead without any of us fast enough to stop her." Eric said with a light scoff to his words as Brock let his grip around her slack.
"Crazy is what she is. I had no choice, I had to think of all the lives around me. A Tier One Operator and a Petty Officer, in the grand scheme of things, isn't really to be compared to all the lives saved today." Crowley went on and Theresa saw red.
"Did you just call Ray and Lisa expendable?" Theresa asked, fury clear in her words as she ripped out of Brock's loose hold, right before she pulled two more knives, this time aiming to hit him somewhere non-fatally.
"Theresa Kane, stop." The steely voice made her stop her movements as if someone pressed a freeze button. She glared furiously at Crowley, hands gripping her knives; one aimed at his shoulder, the other at his thigh. Eric walked until he was in front of her, blocking Crowley from her view. He held his hands out. "Hand them over." She made to protest. "Now." Sighing in defeat she gave Blackburn her two knives. "All of them." Sighing once more she pulled the remaining two knives from her body sheath and handed them over. Eric gave her an unimpressed stare. "I said: all of them." Theresa scoffed, but crouched down to pull the two knives out of boots and dutifully handed them over. "Thank you." He gave her a grin as she pushed to her feet.
She pouted, arms crossing over her chest. "This is completely unnecessary."
Eric hummed in satisfaction as he looked at the sharp knives, the shift from dangerous protector to obedient subordiant was both comforting and amusing to him - also somewhat overwhelming, because he was only one of two people in this world who could order her like this and have her actually listen. "Whatever you say, little one."
Eric walked away and Theresa glared at Crowley once more, who was gaping in shocked silence. How the hell did the beared man get this clearly crazy and untamed woman to hand over her weapons? And how did he stop her with one command?
Brock walked up to his best friend, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her away, grateful and relieved when she went willingly. Just because she wasnt actively trying to hit him or throw anymore knives, doesn't mean she cant change her mind in an instant. That didn't mean she wasn't angry anymore, oh no, because she was and her team mates heard all about it.
"I'm telling you the only thing that saved his ugly ass face is the fact that their both okay. Not even Jason would have been able to stop me if something happened to them." Her heated, but extremely serious words left even her team mates in shock.
A few minutes later, Eric walked up to where Bravo was standing by themselves, completely away from all other company on the plane. Which, going from the anger still burning brightly in Theresa's eyes, was probably for the best. The Commander looked at his team, "We take off in thirty minutes."
Theresa nodded before walking away from her team.
Jason looked at her retreating form, "Where are you going?"
"Blow off some steam." She answered over her shoulder.
Theresa walked down the tarmac, pulling out her elastic band and shaking her head upside down, getting rid of the glass fragments that she couldn't remove earlier after the window broke. She tied it back and started running around the C-17 at full speed. She didn't care about how the Marines were giving her funny looks or about what the civillians from the embassy thinks, right now she needs to run some of her anger off, especially if she was going to be confined to a plane with that idiot for more than half a day.
She just finished her fifteenth lap when she saw a familiar, but strangely not unwelcome figure waiting at the foot of the tarmac. Theresa slowed to a jog and stopped in front of the woman, chest heaving and heart beating erratically from all the running. She took the offered bottle of water with a breathless, "Thanks."
Theresa downed the bottle, capped it and fiddled with it as she stared at the slightly taller woman. She didn't want to fight. All of her anger and most of her energy has burnt out. "Heard you got Crowley to order the evac."
"Yeah."Mandy nodded, fidgeting with her blazer.
"Good job." Theresa said sincerely. She may not like the CIA Agent, but Alana and Jason worked hard to install manners in her as she only knew how to fight and run when they first met her, so she can give credit where its due.
"Thanks." Mandy allowed herself a smile, feeling stupidly pleased by the compliment. Theresa was both younger and much less exprienced in the field as her - so why did her approval matter so much?
Because she matters to Bravo and she matters to you, just like the rest of them, a voice in her head whispered the answer.
"Why are you here?" Theresa asked, gesturing to herself with the plastic bottle.
"I have your knives. I mean, when we evacuated, I took them with me and asked some of the staff to pick up the rest of Bravo's things, but I took your knives. I know how you are about them. I didn't touch them, and I didn't let anyone else touch them either. They're with Eric right now, he said I can't give them to you yet, so yeah. That's it. That's what I wanted to say." Mandy rambled all in one breath, completely out of charater from the composed and emotionless Agent, turning around to head back into the plane.
"Thank you." Theresa called after her, causing the woman to stop and turn back to her.
"You're welcome." Mandy nodded. Mandy bit the inside of her cheek, eyes looking out to the night sky. I know I broke your trust with the mission in Iran." She started out of nowhere, looking back at Theresa, causing the youngest woman to tense at the sudden shift in topic. "And I've said sorry so many times that I lost count. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I have given you time in which I thought you would let it go, but you still haven't forgiven me. I just . . . I need to know if there is ever a chance for you to forgive me and trust me again."
Theresa looked at her for a long time. Long enough for Mandy to start thinking that with that one screw up, she screwed up forever. Eventually, the female Seal spoke. "Maybe. I'm not promising you anything, or anytime soon for that matter, but I'm not saying no either."
Mandy hid a smile as Theresa walked past her up the tarmac, heading to Jason, who was standing inside the plane, watching them. This was much better than the harsh words and glares when she usually tried to fix what she broke with that shit show of a mission in Iran that nearly killed both Jason and Theresa. For the first time in over a year, Mandy felt a little better about this particular subject. Maybe there was hope for the broken friendship between her and Theresa yet.
"Aw, look at you. Making friends and playing nice. I'm so proud of you." Jason slung an arm around her shoulder, pulling out her hair tie and ruffling her short hair fondly.
"Shut up." She laughed, the last of her tension vanishing as she grabbed back her elastic band.
SEAL TEAM
The plan ride was fine, seeing as Theresa got into her hammock and fell asleep as soon as they got onto the plan and only woke three hours before they landed. She spent those three hours at the back of the plane talking with Jason, who told her that he finally decided and was going to see the woman from Nate's phone. She wouldn't lie and say that her fingers doesn't still itch to knock Crowley on her ass, but she could honestly and confidently say that the closer to home (read: to Spenser) she was getting, the more it didn't matter to her anymore. Everyone was safe and Theresa was going to let it go.
The female Seal was more than a little proud of herself. This was personal growth, in her books.
Theresa now had a different kind of energy making her jittery as the C-17 landed back home. It was excitement and joy mixed into one.
Sonny frowned at her, wary of his team mate. He didn't understand the mood swing from murderous fury to giddy joy. "Brock, why is she smiling like that?"
"Do I look like a mind reader to you?" Brock deadpanned, fixing the Texan with a blank look.
"No, but you are a better Tessa-reader than any of us." Sonny shrugged as an interested Trent looked at Brock as well.
Brock snickered at his words, but walked closer to his two team members, not wanting Theresa to hear him and smack him upside the head. "Best guess, she's excited to see Spenser again."
"Seriously?" Trent asked as he snorted so hard his shoulders shook, laughing even more when he saw Sonny's face.
"Yeah," Brock nodded. "Remember how she was so pissy on the first flight? Well, she said it's because she didn't see Spenser before she left for the mission, so I guess she missed him and wants to see him."
"If he breaks her heart, I'm going to break his little twig neck." Sonny warned with a firm scowl on his face.
Twenty minutes later, Theresa was walking through the hallways, with a smile that left everyone in her wake dumbstruck, when she heard the first whisper. A member of Green team had died in one of the HALO jumps due to a faulty shoot. Theresas entire world came to a screeching halt. Her smile dropped, her chest felt tight, her breathing uneven. She blindly made her way to Bravos cage room, relying on muscle memory.
The moment she stumbled through the doors her whole team was all around her, concern on all of their faces. Brock had ordered Cerberus, who greeted them all on the plane, to go lie down on his bed in his master's cage, because he was all around everyone's legs.
Theresa could could see their concern, could hear their voices, but she couldn't concenrate it, the squeezing feeling around her heart worsening with every second that passed.
"What did you eat?" Trent asked calmly, allergic reaction being his first guess.
"Does she need a shot?" Sonny asked worriedly, already walking to his cage to get one of the two shots of epinephrine he keeps on him in case of emergency.
"No, she's not having an allergic reaction." Jason shook his head. He knew what anaphylactic shock looks like. He's only seen her having an attack once, after those damned cookies Alana baked with the nut extract, but it was enough. This is something else.
"Something like what?" Brock demanded frantically. He was always cool headed and unbothered, but he completely lost it when it came to his best friend. Cerberus was lying on his bed in Brock's cage, whining softly but cutting it out when Brock ordered him.
"Come on, Trent, what's wrong with her?" Ray pressed.
"Quiet!" Trent commanded and all of Bravo did as told. He lead Theresa to the table in the middle of the room an helped her up on it. "Tessa, you need to breathe." Again, she heard him, but couldn't process his words or act on them. He looked at Jason, eyes flickering restlessly from his boss to his distraught friend. "Jay, I don't know how to help her. She needs to calm down and slow her breaths before she passes out."
Jason took over from Trent, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, hey, Tessie. Hey, you hear me?" He spoke softly, just like when she was fourteen and couldn't calm down after waking up from a nightmare. Finally, she gave a miniscule nod. Her eyes cleared a little and Jason knew he finally had her attention. "Okay, Tessie, I need you to breath. Can you do that for me? Come on, breathe with me. Just follow me." Jason mimicked exaggerated breaths, which she slowly started to follow. "Thats it. In out, in out, in out. He lightly rubbed her arms up and down, in sync with their breaths.
When her breathing evened out, he dared to asked, "Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"Greenie died. Faulty chute." That was all she could get out before her eyes blurred with tears, images of a dead and bloodied Spenser dominating in her mind, and her breath picked up again.
Jason looked around to his brothers faces, took another look at Theresa then giving Ray a pointed look before the Senior Chief left. He needed Ray to find out who it was that died. (And if Ray prayed, crossed his fingers and hoped to God above that it wasn't Clay Spenser, then the world would never know. Maybe just his wife.)
Inside the equipment cages, Jason couldn't get Theresa to calm down again. Not Brock or Sonny or Trent either. Trent was starting to worry that she would go into shock and suffer from a heart attack if she ditdnt start to calm down soon.
"What's wrong with her?" Sonny asked Trent quietly, watching as Brock just held on to his trembling best friend that struggled to catch her breath, eyes shining with unshed tears, gripping his t-shirt so tightly her knuckles was snow white.
Jason stood by, has never felt more helpless in his entire life than he did right now.
"I think she's having a panic attack." Trent ventured, more than a little sure.
Sonny's brows dipped, "Why?"
"Because she thinks S5pensers the one who died." Trent answered just as quietly.
Sonny's eyes widened and everything suddenly made sense. "It's not him, right?"
"I don't know. None of us knows, Sonny. That's the problem and what Ray went to find out. I don't wish death upon anyone, but I really wish that it was someone else." Trent explained.
"Yeah." Jason nodded. His fatherly instincts was screaming at him to help her. But he couldn't. Nothing could help her, but the knowledge and confirmation that it wasn't Spenser who died. And none of them could give her that. What the hell was taking Ray so long? Jason froze as a terrible thought took ahold of him. What if it is Spenser who died?
He looked at Theresa and Brock. If this is how she looks just suspecting it is Spenser who died, what will she look like if Ray came back and told them it was Spenser that died? He really didnt want to see Theresa break. Or pass out — with how pale she is, its not a complete impossibility. Or turn into a raging bull.
Finally, Ray returned and shook his head no. All of them immediately knew it wasn't Spenser that passed away and audible sighs of relief left all of them.
"Tessa, look at me, listen to me." Brock's stern but clearly relieved voice slowly broke through her clouded mind. "It's not Spenser that died. Clay Spenser is a alive and breathing. Okay?" Theresa look up at him.
"Alive?" The word was drenched with hope and all of the pain she felt. Brock nodded and she sagged against him in relief, tears falling from her eyes as her breathing finally started to even out slowly.
Brock rubbed her back soothingly through it all, thinking to himself that he was wrong. So completely and totally very wrong. Theresa doesnt like Clay Spenser. She's in love with him. Irreversibly so.
SEAL TEAM
Theresa was thinking that maybe she has to come to terms with the fact that she likes Clay Spenser a whole lot more than she thought. Or wants to admit to herself. She knew that he was somewhere on base, this was the Navy, you don't get home because one of your friends die. You push forward and go on. The Greenies, however, were given a day off from training, but she knew Spenser was still on base. She already checked the parking lot.
Yes, Theresa was looking for Clay Spenser. And she would turn this whole base upside down doing so if she had to.
After calming down from her panic attack over the thought of possibly losing the blonde, Theresa knew she would have to do some serious self reflection.
Right after she comforted Spenser a little. How exactly, Theresa had no idea but she is a woman on a mission and nothing is going to get in her way of completing it. When she finally stopped crying, wiped her snot and tears and splashed her face with cold water, Ray told her that while it wasn't Clay who died, it was his friend Brian. Theresa all but flew out of the equipment room, not even giving them an excuse.
The female Seal knew her cheeks and red eyes gave her earlier crying away, but she couldn't care less. Not when Clay was out here somewhere on this base, hurting.
Finally, she found him out back, leaning against the wall, eyes closed as he stood in the sun.
Theresa found herself nervous as her eyes ran over his face. What was she going to say to him? How would she make this better? How can she make this easier? She swallowed thickly, turned around and started walking away. This was a stupid idea. She can't help him. They aren't friends. Clay wouldn't want her help or comfort. The first time they ate together was because he wanted to help her when she was shot and the second time because he needed to vent about his father. They are nothing more than superior and subordinate.
She's always known it and liked even, because Spenser is to cocky for his own good and needs someone to knock him down a few pegs. But right now, for the first time since they met, the fact made her feel nothing but bitterness towards the boundries her rank put between her and Spenser.
Before she could delve any deeper into her thoughts - mostly into the why, why did she have a panic attack at the thought of Clay dying? why doesn't she want boundries between them? what does she want instead? - a grief struck voice called her name. "Tessa?"
Theresa's shoulders tensed as she stopped in her tracks, back shooting ramrod straight. Ever so slowly, she turned back to face the blonde, who looked at her with expressive blue eyes that caught her attention the day they first met. Breath catching in her throat, she just stared at him.
"Sorry, I mean, Four." Spenser corrected with wide eyes once he realised what he called her, eyes dropping down to his boots.
"It's okay." Theresa said, the words slipping out without her permission. Still, she meant it all the same. Right now, they weren't Superior and Subordinate, they were just Tessa and Clay. But when he looked up at her, eyes surprised and warm, she panicked and blurted, "But just this once."
Clay's face fell a little, and Theresa felt bad, but couldn't take her words back. "Thanks, I guess."
"I heard about what happened. About Brian, I mean." Theresa said, pausing when Clay's eyes flashed up to hers again. "I . . . My condolences. I know he was your friend."
"Yeah," Clay breathed shakily. "He was my friend. Best friend, actually."
Theresa winced. She couldn't imagine ever losing Brock. She'd loose her marbles, for sure.
Theresa swallowed as she saw the sadness crashing over his face, shoulders slumping forward. She wants to comfort him so, so badly, but she doesn't know how. She thought about it so hard, then a light went off in her brain. But she couldn't do it out here, where everyone could see. Not that she particularly cares about what anyone thinks of her, but Spenser might and his already shaky reputation doesn't need any negative rumors attached to it.
"Come with me." Theresa said before turning away, remembering a blind spot she discovered years ago when mapping out and memorizing the base back in her Green days.
"Where?" Clay asked, but followed her anyway. "A supply closet?" He asked with a confused frown when she stopped in front of one and gestured proudly to it.
Theresa flicked a tongue over her teeth and rolled her eyes. She opened the door, looked up and down the hallway and grabbed his wrist, pulling him inside when she found it deserted. "Yes, a supply closet, but also a blind spot hallway. A blind spot is a place where there is no cameras."
A ghost of a smile pulled over Clay's lips, "I know what a blind spot is. What I don't know is why we're here."
"So I can do this without anyone seeing and starting rumors." She answered as if it was obvious.
"Do what?" Clay was so very confused, but it all cleared up when thin but surprisingly strong arms wrapped around him. Clay didn't take long to reciprocate, gripping her tightly as his sadness and grief hit him anew, but with more force than before as he finally let himself cry.
Theresa hugged him tightly, standing on her tiptoes to rest her chin on his shoulder. When she felt his shoulders starting to shake, she rubbed up and own his back, hoping to Heaven and back that it would help. Just a little bit.
Whenever she's sad or upset, Jason or Alana would always hug her until she felt better. Sometimes they'd hug for hours and she'd always feel better after a hug. This was all Theresa knew, the only way she knew how to comfort. And if this helps Clay, then she'd give it to him.
For however long he wants, until he lets go.
A/N: how come my chapters always turn out so much longer than i intended? le sigh
okay, so let's pretend their comms worked while only across the street from each other. that's not unrealistic, right?
what do you think about theresa slowly fixing things with mandy?
also, theresa's knowledge of languages will be explained later on in the story - i chose each language for a spesific reason. it is part of my plotline and will be explained in due time. also, my google search history right now is looking so strange. looking up languages, countries, different types of martial arts certain countries are known for, types of guns and knives - you'd think i was planning on commiting murder and then fleeing the country - not that i'd currently be able to go anywhere. oh well, shrugs, it keeps me busy in this stupid quarantine.
thank you for the comments - i love them all.
p.s. sorry for the angst.