Chapter Twenty : Healing Takes Time
"Tessa, can I talk to you for a minute?" Eric asked as everyone began to file out of the war room.They were going to the Theresa tensed, but stayed behind like he asked, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "Look, I know you're pissed at me right now for earlier, and I'm sorry for it, but if it wasn't me, it was going to be someone else."
It was silent for a long while as Theresa looked at the table, biting down on her bottom lip as she thought about what to say. "I actually would have preferred that. At least then I could have told that person to go fuck themselves, and I wouldn't have been hurt by someone I see as a friend."
"It's because I'm your friend that I did it. I didn't want anyone else to do it, and I never meant to hurt you." Blackburn explained to her. He wanted this resolved before they go on their mission, not liking being at conflict with any of Bravo.
"Yeah, I know." Theresa nodded, something inside of her uncurling, just as it did when she and Jason made up earlier. Her anger and hurt washing away like it never existed. "I guess I could have handled it a little better too. Jason and I had mild exchange of words just before that and it was not exactly pretty."
Eric laughed a little when he saw the look on her face, the playful teasing back in her eyes and he knew he was forgiven. "So, I guess this means you're not angry with me anymore?"
"No, I'm not." Theresa gave him a sincere smile, a little surprised by how quickly she's calmed down and given in. She was also a little proud of herself because she was finally starting to learn to control her temper - something that's controlled her for most of her life. Something occured to her. "Hey, this isn't going to make any problems for Spenser, is it?"
"No, not at all. With verbal confirmation from both of you, plus your excellent records and everyone who is willing to back you, this won't impact his training at all. No one outside of Adam, myself and you two know about this anyways."
"Good, that's good." Theresa sighed in relief.
"Yeah, and they're going to notify the Armstrong kid's family today." Eric informed her off-handedly.
Theresa frowned, this being news to her, "What? Spenser's going?"
Eric was nodding, "Yeah, apparently he's the authorized representative to notify the next of kin. Adam told me they're leaving at 09H00."
Theresa immediately checked the time on her phone. 08:37AM. She looked at Eric, "Uh, can I go please? I need to do something?"
"Yeah." Eric barely finished nodding before Theresa was out of her chair and out the door. She didn't know where to look, so she tried the Greenies lockers first, when he wasn't there, she went for the parking lot, knowing that he was probably waiting for Adam.
She smiled in relief when she saw him, unable to resist calling out to him. "Spenser!"
Clay turned to her, a surprised look passing over his face. When she stopped in front of him, he gave her a dimmed smile, "Hey."
"Hey you." Theresa greeted, pushing her hands into her pockets. "Everything okay?" She asked, then wanted to hit herself because he was on his way to tell his best friend's family that he died and no, everything could not possibly be okay. "Under the circumstances, I mean?"
"Yeah, it's just . . ." The blonde nodded, rubbing the back of his neck as he trailed off. "I'm sorry, about earlier with Chief Siever and Commander Blackburn." He said, ducking his head as a blush appeared on his cheeks.
Theresa knew that wasn't all, because not once in all the time they've known each other, has he ever been surprised to see her. Happy and cheeky and smiley and even worried, yes, but never surprised.
"And?" She prodded.
He lowered his eyes, biting down on his bottom lip, then answered softly, "I thought you would be avoiding me."
"Why?" Theresa frowned, because the idea has never even entered her mind.
"Because of what Chief Siever and Commander Blackburn asked." Clay shrugged, pretending that it doesn't matter, when really it mattered more than anything else in his life right now.
Theresa's eyes darkened, her fists clenching and unclenching in her pockets as anger flared through her all over again and she scoffed. Then she looked at Clay and all of her anger vanished - a wave of calm washing over her as she looked at the blonde.
She shrugged easily, mirroring what Clay had just done, a bit thrown of kilter by the fact that her anger faded by just looking at the blonde. "I enjoy being around you and I'm not going to stay away from you just because of something a jealous moron complained about. Something which, by the way, isn't even true."
Clay looked taken aback. His heart started to race in his chest, cheeks heating up and he felt like he could cry of joy. Because ever since that meeting, he has been worried that Theresa would never ever speak to him again. Something which caused his heart to start feeling like someone was squeezing it in their palm.
"Oh." Was his smart reply. Regaining his bearings, a cheeky smile spread on his lips. "Is that your way of telling me you like me?"
There he is, Theresa thought to herself.
"No." Theresa snorted and shook her head. Clay's face fell and her heart clenched. Everything inside of her screamed at her to put a smile back on his face. "But you're half way there."
"Good." The grin returned - relieved beyond belief and more brilliantly than before - and the tight feeling in Theresa's chest loosened, a smile of her own spreading on her lips. Clay cleared his throat. "You should know, that I do like you. As a superior. And also as a woman and uh, as a person. As a fellow Seal-"
Taking pity on him - cause if the severe blush on his cheeks was anything to go by, then he was embarrassed by his admission - Theresa cut him off. "Of course you like me, I'm fabulous."
A startled yet grateful laugh left Clay when her words registered and he nodded in agreement. "Yes, you are."
This time it was Theresa's turn to blush from the sincere compliment. She sobered up, remembering the actual reason she came to look for him. "So, I heard that you're gonna notify Brian's next of kin and I just wanted to say, like, good luck or whatever."
Clay let out a chuckle that made her heart warm, "Good luck?"
"Don't laugh at me." Theresa whined just a little, aware that she was being petulant but not caring. "I'm not good at this kind of thing, okay?"
Clay looked at her curiously, liking this playful side of her. He wondered if it was because he lost his best friend, or because she was opening up to him. He hoped for the latter, but would settle with the former. "What kind of thing is that?"
Theresa looked away from him, eyes jumping from one thing to the next, never settling. "You know, giving someone comfort."
Clay's heart swelled, a smile spreading on his face, hurt and pain momentarily forgotten. "Well, thanks. For everything so far."
"Anytime, Spenser." Theresa said, looking up at him again and she meant it whole heartedly.
"Really, Tessa?" Jason asked in exasperation, that was more fond than anything, as he watched Theresa swallow down her second cucumber and ham finger sandwiches and pick up two more at the refreshments table that was set up - filled with finger sandwiches, donuts and coffee. They were outside the full sized model of the bunker, waiting for the next part of the presentation.
"It's either eating or telling these people what I really think of this mission - take your pick." She shrugged, taking another bite without feeling guilty over the fact that these were technically for the higher ups.
Jason considered that then nodded, looking around for her best friend, spotting the Dog Handler and waving him over from where he was talking to Sonny and Trent. "Why don't you ask Brock to hold some for you as well?"
Theresa hid her snicker until Jason was gone and Brock was by her side. He looked at her with a smile, "What?"
"Jace." Theresa said, chuckling before she took another bite. She held a hand before her mouth as she spoke, "He put you on finger sandwiches carry duty because I told him that eating keeps me from saying what I really think."
Brock looked at her curiously, "Is it really working?"
"Depends on what shit they're going to say." She shrugged, deciding against handing him sandwiches because he was holding Cerberus' leash. Normally he wouldn't be on a leash on base, but because this was a practise for an actual mission, he needed to be leashed.
"Between you and Sonny, I swear, you're gonna turn him grey." Brock deadpanned, but there was an amused glimmer in his eyes.
"He already has some grey hair." Theresa pointed out with a smug smirk.
"Which I have no doubt is from worrying over you all these years." He retorted easily.
"Pfft." Theresa huffed in denial, not about to admit that her best friend might have a point. She looked around, "You know, for people that are bitching about time, they sure are wasting a lot of it. I mean, I've seen Spenser and eaten in the meantime."
"You went to see Spenser?" Brock asked with a smirk as he looked down at his friend. Luckily, Jason chose that moment to whistle to them and Theresa and Brock made their way to the entrance.
"What's the most slices you've ever eaten at once?" Brock asked, deciding to let it go for now - she'll tell him about it when she wants - looking at his friend as they walked.
Theresa thought for a moment, "Uh, twelve slices."
Brock's eyes widened, "When was that?"
"Years ago, it was after we did deep water diving training for Green, when I was like 20. We came back that evening from the ocean and I was starving. The only thing the cafeteria had was sandwiches. I also had two helpings of Alana's lasagne when I went home."
He whistled, eyebrows going up. "Damn, that's a lot."
She smirked, "Compared to how I eat during Thanksgiving and Christmas - if I'm home - that's nothing."
"You know what I just realised, we haven't been home for Thanksgiving or Christmas since you've joined the team." Brock noted matter-of-factly.
"And you wonder why Elena doesn't want children." It was out of her mouth before she could stop it. She winced and gave him an apologetic look.
"Hey!" He exclaimed indignantly, but it was light enough for Theresa to know that he isn't angry with her. "Aren't you supposed to be on my side?"
"Until my dying day." Theresa swore seriously. "I'm just saying you might want to consider her side as well." She told him softly as they reached the group. She stood a little behind him and Cerberus.
"Enjoying yourself, Tessa?" Sonny asked, amused because the moment she arrived out here, Theresa just went over to the refreshments and helped herself. She hummed contently with a close lipped smile, nodding lightly. "It's a shame we can't afford to build one of these ahead of every hit."
"To continue-" Beau started, walking to the front of the group, standing with his back to the gigantic door and starting his explanation. "However we infil, this is the first door we have to breach. Once we're on target, Charlie Team will engage both guards, then be primary to the breach."
"Naturally." Sonny commented dryly.
"Bravo will hang back to provide overwatch, and if necessary, support by fire." Beau said and Theresa squinted at him because what the fuck? Bravo is a highly trained assault team, not used for overwatch. That's what you have support teams for, unless it's a small mission that has to be done under the radar and even then, the team usually watches their own back with help from TOC.
"Ah, keeping us safe, that's really thoughtful of you." Jason said, sarcasm clear.
"Well, we'll try to leave something for you." Beau said, tone almost mocking. "As I was saying, after we breach and make entry, half of Bravo team stays out side to maintain rear security, the rest of Bravo falls on Charlie to clear the structure." Theresa frowned deeply at this as Jason stepped closer to Fuller, then walked past him.
"Tessa, don't." Brock warned when the female Seal open her mouth to say something. She grit her teeth but did as told.
"So, not only is Bravo Team split, but half of it is now with Charlie Team?" Jason asked, looking at Beau expectantly.
"Yeah, don't worry about it, I'll take good care of them." Beau told Jason and Theresa couldn't help but scoff. It would be a cold day in hell before she ever went with Beau or listened to him. The only way she would is if Jason ordered her, but she didn't think he would. And Eric never much ordered her unless Jason wasn't near.
"Really, because you know what in my book, I don't think you should split the teams." Jason said.
"So what? You worried your scouts can't handle being away from their scout leader?" Beau taunted and Theresa clenched her fists.
"Oh, alright, scouts?" Jason laughed lightly, not humored at all as he looked at his offended team. His eyes locked with Theresa's and he shook his head slightly. She took a deep breath, looking disgruntled, but nodded back anyways, silently promising she wouldn't do anything.
"This scout very much wants to teach you a lesson." Theresa snapped at him glaringly, arms crossed over her chest. Just because she wouldn't do anything, doesn't mean she would keep her mouth shut.
"Once we're through the blast door, we move on to the next stage of our presentation. If you'll follow me please." Garcia said, moving to the next part of the model.
Theresa looked at the door for a second longer as the higher ups and the teams followed Garcia. It was gonna be a bitch to get through. She followed after them, speeding up to catch up and walk in between Brock and Trent.
"It just keeps getting better." Jason commented as they walked.
"This is the area where we're most likely to encounter resistance. The second blast door. We clear this section, get set to blow the internal blast door, we figure we still got eight minutes to get in and out with Hasan." Beau was explaining again.
"Another explosive breach?" Jason asked, incredulous.
"Why not?" Beau countered.
"How many non combatants we have on the other side of that door?" Jason asked the CIA Agent.
"Hasan has three wives, six children," Mandy said and Theresa pulled a face. She didn't have any problems with people who has polygamous relationships - it's not her place to dictate to people how to live their lives or who to love - but it is not for her. She is way to possessive to ever even consider it. "Couple of Lieutenants have families."
"Well, we have no idea what kind of security Hasan will have in there. I mean, there could be have a dozen guys in s-vests behind this door. I want them on their knees, seeing stars when we come through." Fuller said, trying to make them see reason.
"It could also be a bunch of kids." Ray pointed out.
"Yeah, well, they could not be. Rules of engagement says unless we see them, we have no obligation to assume their there." Beau told them and Theresa couldn't keep quiet anymore.
"Well, in that case, this whole mission has grounds to be denied, because since no one has actually seen Hasan, we have no obligation to assume he's there." Theresa said with a smug smirk, looking right at Beau. "Rules of engagement and all."
"You think you're clever, don't you?" Charlie's leader scoffed at her.
Her smirk widened, "I don't think so, I know so."
"Do you ever shut up, Kane?" He asked, glaring harshly.
Theresa snickered, "Now where's the fun in that?"
Jason decided to interrupt, "The point is, there could be. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to see a half dozen kids dead on CNN."
"I believe I have a solution." General Tisdale started and everyone on Bravo suppressed the urge to groan out loud. "See, I was concerned about the children myself, thought we might find a way to distract them, keep them busy, out of harms way."
"This should be good." Sonny muttered sarcastically and the rest of Bravo all agreed, because whenever a cake-eater opens their mouth, it's usually bullshit.
"So, I had my staff pull stats on the most popular candies in Saudi-Arabia," The General said and having some idea where this was going, Theresa's mouth fell open in disbelief. "The galaxy bar seems to be a consistent top seller. Figure if we issue each Operator about a dozen or so, you can pass them out whenever you come across the children."
"Good idea, Sir." Garcia told the General.
"Good idea-fairies travel all the way down here from D.C to break our balls in person?" Sonny asked Jason.
"I'm sorry," Theresa let out an incredulous laugh as she looked at the General. "Excuse me, Sir, but come again? Candies? Are you serious right now? Are we planning an op or are we planning to perform the military version of Hansel and Gretel?"
A few laughs disguised as coughs was heard.
"No matter how popular the candy is, Sir, we're not gonna be able to have that option until we break through that door." Jason said, trying to bring the conversation back to reality.
"We're not gonna be able to get through that door unless we blow it." Beau told them again.
"Nah, we cut it." Jason gave his idea.
"We don't have time to cut it." Fuller denied.
Garcia gave Jason a thoughtful look, "How much time's that gonna cost us?"
Sonny was the one who answered, "Let's see, four inch tempered steel, take a torch two-three minutes."
"Doesn't seem to leave you a lot of time to get you all back out before the Saudi's arrive." General Tisdale mused.
"Look, the torch is too slow, we gotta blow it." Beau said yet again.
"If he likes blowing things up so much, why didn't he become a freaking EOD?" Theresa said lowly as she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, causing Sonny and Brock to snicker.
"Sir, I'm confident my guys can make initial, get to this door, burn it, gave plenty of time to secure the HVT and exfil, without killing non-combatants on the other side of that door." Jason presented and they all waited in silence for a few seconds.
"You got two minutes, we're running with the torch. Let's do this." Garcia finally said, nodding to the two Seal Team's. Theresa could see the way Beau glared at Jason and despite how much she dislikes him, she does feel a little sympathetic because he's been working on this plan for a long time and here comes Jason, and down the drain goes his hard work.
When she saw the smug look Jason gave Beau, she rolled her eyes. She hooked her arm through Jason's and pulled him with her to walk away from potential conflict.
"Look, I get he's an asshole, but that doesn't mean you have to rub this in his face." Theresa told the Master Chief. She saw him open his mouth and spoke before he could. "If the roles was reversed, and it was Fuller blowing up a plan you've been working on for a while, you would have thrown the biggest fit the Navy's ever seen."
Jason closed his mouth, wanting to argue but realised he couldn't, huffed a little and grumbled. "He's still an asshole."
"I'm not arguing with you there." She grinned at him, poking at his arm until he grinned back at her.
Two minutes later, they were listening to Eric explaining how it would go down. Jason, Ray, Brock and Trent was standing while Theresa and Sonny was sitting down on the stairs, all of them paying attention and listening to their Commander.
"Fourteen minutes response time for the Saudi-cops." Eric was telling them. "Clock starts as soon as you engage the guards. The most time consuming parts of this op will be breaching the two blast doors. If you fail to exfil with Abu Hasan in fourteen minutes, we'll stop the drill and reset."
"All right boys, show us what you got." Garcia smirked at Bravo.
"I'll show you what I got." Sonny commented snidely. He got a smack behind the head from Jason hand a fist bump from a snickering Theresa.
They geared up and gathered at the front of the model. Charlie took out the 'guards' and Eric started the clock. Charlie then set the charges while Bravo waited with them.
"Fire in the hole." A man from Charlie shouted and with the explosion that went off, Theresa doubted that it was enough to blow open a two ton door. Bravo and Charlie moved to the door, Theresa looking at the partially melted door without much surprise.
"What in the hell was that?" Sonny asked, walking over to the guy that set the charges.
"A breaching charge." The guy answered.
"You think it was big enough?" Sonny retorted.
"It looked plenty big." The guy said and Theresa resisted the urge to facepalm. Clearly it was not big enough.
"You just turned a two ton door into a two ton obstacle, numnut." Sonny snapped at him.
Theresa looked at Brock, knowing that she probably shouldn't feel as amused as she did by this whole situation. "This would be a bad time to laugh, right?"
"Right." Brock nodded.
The arguing continued but it somehow ended up being Jason and Beau that was now arguing about needing to think outside the book and Beau made some snappy comment about not wanting to tell one of his guys' wives that their husband is dead because he couldn't follow the rules. Something about it didn't sit right with her, but before she could think any further on it, Eric arrived and pulled Jason and Beau back in line.
The end result was that they started again.
Hours later it was dark and they still haven't made it through in under fourteen minutes. Running the drill for the umpteenth time, everyone was starting to get a little antsy. When the alarm blared again, not even getting to the second door, Theresa cursed. They went back to the beginning and started again.
This time, they made it to the second blast door and just as they wanted to start with the torch, time was up.
Hours later, the sun had risen and they were no closer to getting behind the door. During yet another drill, they started with the torch, until the plywood of the model caught fire and their time was up yet again. Theresa was more than a little frustrated, because there just wasn't enough time, no matter what they did. The plan was perfect, but they need more time.
"No, that's it. The op's off." Garcia said as they walked out the steel door for the nth time, goal still not reached. Theresa listened with half an ear as she worked on taking off her head gear.
"Oh, come on." Beau groaned.
"Sir, all due respect, there's not gonna be any plywood on the target." Jason told Garcia in the hopes of changing his mind.
"Or we just go explosive-" Beau started but Jason cut him off.
"No, we don't."
"It doesn't matter, even before the fire you were about to miss another time target and nobody wanted to put their name on the op that started a war with Saudi-Arabia. Bottom line, brass feels the op's to risky. They don't wanna commend." Garcia said with finality before walking away.
"You happy?" Beau asked. Theresa looked between them, knowing this was the start of a big argument. They've been running this drill for 20 hours, people were frustrated, tempers were shot, patience was non-exsistant and this was about to get ugly.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean, sunshine?" Jason asked, pulling of his gloves.
"Plan same way we have for the last few days, then the great Jason Hayes appears, starts changing things up on the fly, just like always." Beau snaps at him.
"Not my fault that your plan got all jacked up."
"The only thing jacked up is your attitude."
"How about your ego?"
"You've been trying to undermine me this whole time."
Beau and Jason got in each other's faces and Theresa wondered if they would get in a fist fight. "Why have I been undermining you this whole time? Because you have one tool that you use for every job. That charge you would have put on the interior of that door, would have collapsed the entire bunker."
"That is your opinion."
"It is also my opinion, that you devised a plan that would kill innocent people, but then again, we all know how you feel about that."
"You don't know there's gonna be civillian's on target."
"You don't know that there won't be." Jason's words was harsh, and then he walked away.
Beau wasn't ready to let him go just like that, "You know what, Jay, you love to talk about the good idea fairies. Always wanna talk about the good idea fairies, come late to an op, screw everything up with that lame ass ad-libs, but it never occurs to you that you are a good idea fairy. Always trying to change things up, do something extra, remind everyone how much better Jason Hayes is, than everybody else. Yeah, but when somebody gets hurt, when gets killed, cause you couldn't be bothered to stick to the script."
The next moment Jason lunged at Beau and it took the whole team to pull him away.
"Hey, did Jason ever talk to you about Nate's death?" Ray asked just as they stopped in front of his house. Naima was making lunch and Ray invited her after he saw her sitting in her cage, staring blankly at the wall. He invited Jason too, but he said no, he had something else to do.
Theresa shook her head, "No, he didn't."
"I'm guessing you haven't spoken about it either, huh?" Ray asked, but it was more of a statement, as he looked at her.
Theresa's jaw clenched and she looked out the window of his truck, "You have a point?"
Ray looked at her, watched the tick in her jaw, and let it go. He shrugged, "Just thinking that maybe there's more to Jason's outburst today than Beau being a jackass, is all."
"Yeah, I hear you." Theresa nodded at the Senior Chief, turning to face him. "But healing takes time, and people do it differently, you know?"
"I know." Ray assured her. He grinned, "Now, I don't know about you, but I'm starving."
"Me too." Theresa nodded and eagerly got out of the car, Ray following behind her. "Running a drill for 20 hours on an empty stomach is not fun."
"Didn't you eat some of the refreshments before the drill started or go to the cafeteria when we had a break?" Ray questioned, eyes sparkling with amusement.
"I didn't have time to go to the cafeteria and to the bathroom in fifteen minutes, so I just grabbed two protein bars from my cage. Also, finger sandwiches and protein bars are not proper food." Theresa pouted as they walked up to the front door.
Ray laughed heartily, "Okay, okay, fair enough."
Naima welcomed her with open arms. Well, one open arm, the other was holding a baby. Theresa gushed at the baby, asking if she could hold him for a bit. Naima handed him off after Ray kissed him hello. Both hands now free, she hugged Ray tightly and gave him a quick kiss. Theresa followed her to the kitchen, with baby Nathaniel cradled to her chest.
"So, how are you?" Naima asked as she added the finishing touches to the lunch and Ray set the table. "I haven't seen you in a while."
"Good, just busy." Theresa answered honestly. Bravo has been busy back-to-back with missions the last two weeks. "I also haven't slept in 32 hours, so I might be a little grouchy." She could feel the fatigue setting in now that there was no more adrenaline pumping through her veins, keeping her upright.
Naima gave her a scandalized look, and the female Seal knew there was a scolding coming. "Tessa! That is not healthy for you at all. Just because you can go that long without sleep, does not mean you should."
She could hear Ray snickering and decided to turn the tables. "Hah! As if I'm the only one who hasn't slept in a while. I know for a fact your husband has been up for the last twenty hours."
"Yeah, but that's normal for us." Ray quickly said as his wife turned her scolding gaze to him. "Even 24 hours are normal, but not 32."
Theresa gaped, then huffed. "That's called having double standards."
"No, it's just what's called normal for us." Ray retorted with a shit eating grin. Behind Naima's back and away from the baby's eyes, she flipped him the bird.
They ate, bickering as they did so, like all families did. Jameelah was in school and Nathaniel sat in his high chair between his parents, looking at them with wide, curious eyes. When they were done eating, Theresa was completely stuffed. She rubbed her belly contently, eyes getting heavier. "Damn, that was delicious. Thank you, Naima."
Naima giggled as she watched the female Seal getting sleepier by the second. "It was my pleasure, sweetie."
Theresa yawned, a hand infront of her mouth, "Say, would you mind if I took a nap on your couch?"
"Not at all."
Theresa got up, took her, Ray and Naima's dirty plates - ignoring Naima's protests - to the kitchen and washed them quickly before heading to the living room and sinking into their comfy couch. She was asleep within seconds, so tired that she didn't even dream.
Barely an hour later was she woken up by Ray, telling her Bravo's been called in.
a/n: i almost made tessa punch beau, but decided against it for character development reasons, but it was a close thing. hope you liked!