RenInWonderland: It's wonderful to know that I am not going straight to OOC-land. And thank you for having compassion towards Trixie.
Edges05: Aw! You're so sweet! Great to know that you find my story interesting and feel sympathy for my OC. :)
ArjunaRose: Don't worry about it. I will continue writing this story until the end. I've already made plans and would very much like to finish them. And yeah, it moves slowly, but that's only a good thing for me. I don't really want my chapters to go by too fast.
Don't ask me why.
I do not know,
I have no answer to this insane behavior.
-By Marina Abramovic
Chapter 3:
The boiling point
Agitatedly, the weather only gets gloomier the longer the walk drags on. The clouds have gathered thickly into the sky into one big mass of greyish clump like to scream for us to hurry up before everything would be soaked. That's how I see it. Even nature must be hearing my silent pleas to get on with this strange stroll and awkward silence. The latter is becoming quite annoying, though, and increasingly awkward to deal with.
But to my surprise, Alice manages to make this walk seem effortless. We have already crossed a small muddy road that I use every day to get to school and this one petite girl had skipped over it with her delicate small heels like a fairy. Compared to her, I had almost slipped, gotten the sides and the bottoms of my shoes dirty and silently lowered my head in self-consciousness. Not only is she moving with such grace even in this forest environment the clothes make the pixie-girl appear so out of place, but in a good way and that's what further lowers my mood. While my clothes consist mostly of thick fabrics that are baggy, hers are light and fluttery. Yet, she doesn't even appear slightly chilled by the low temperature.
Finally, watching her perfectionist self becomes too much and I ask: "Aren't you cold?"
"Hm?" She looks at me, once more showing how stark her hair is against the pale complex. A smile appears quickly on her face. "No, not at all. I come from Alaska and there you develop a great resistance for cold."
I hum in acknowledgment but then bite silently down on my tongue. The last conversation we had felt like ages ago and the silence of the street and the forests around us is becoming a nuisance again. There are few houses around, so why can't those living in them make some noise to break the silence for me? Heck, even the dog I am used to hearing barking has turned into a mute.
"Have you lived anywhere else, besides Alaska?" The question rolls out of my mouth, it's the first thing that popped into my head.
Alice's smile brightens, whether it's because she likes the topic or the fact that I am talking to her. "Oh, yes! Lot's of places. My family and I move around a lot, travel on vacations a lot, but we mostly stayed in Alaska because some of our family is there, as well. I've been to, for example, Italy, Brazil, Norway…" her eyes flash with mischievousness, "North Pole. But of course, we only stayed day or two in that place. Rosalie wasn't as fond of polar bears as Emmet was."
The pit I call my mouth actually dries from hearing her talk so nonchalantly about all of this like it's a mere hobby. Almost all of those countries she speaks of are on the other side of the world, thousands and thousands of miles away. Pictures of beaches and artic scenery that could only be seen by someone like me from a magazine appear in my mind. Unlike her family, I have barely traveled. The number of flights I have taken would be nonexistent next to hers. I am shocked, but also slightly not – the cars, the clothes, and the general appearance have long since screamed rich people. Of course, they can afford such trips and moves and so on.
Slight flush covers my face, I can feel it. I'm embarrassed from not even saying a thing. Dear God, please don't let her ask…
"What about you?" She chirps up in genuine curiosity, which is far too innocent.
"…I have only stepped into an airplane once," I answer honestly, looking straight into her eyes with a tight smile. I shrug, trying to appear casual. "Nothing major."
"Where did you travel?" Alice asks, again, and unknowingly creates a slight tension on my shoulder.
I look back towards the road, eyes trailing up to the mountains of thick forests trailing up and down on the landscape. "To here, actually. I'm originally from Tennessee and moved here a few years ago."
From the side, Alice visibly perks up from this new information. "Really? That's one place I have never been to before. I imagine it was a shock to move from such a warm place to here."
From that statement, I naturally think back a few years. A shock… too mild word. I nearly snort but swallow it down. I can still remember how I was watching the heat scorching land through the airport's large windows, remember how I was frowning almost the entire way until my face started hurting and the sickening sensation at the bottom of my gut from being raised high into the air for the first time. Those are only a few but are still very clearly memories branded into my head. Especially, when it was my first time in an airplane and because I was going into it alone.
And then, of course, my summer filled, humid and hot days were replaced by cold, wet and gloomy in more ways than one. My mood went down, decayed to the point where I thought that I had gotten a depression from such a large-scale change. However, in time, I actually became used to this scenery. And I bet that if I hadn't been so down back then, I would have even liked Forks from the first sight.
"It was," I admit after a bit of silence. "But I rather like it here. In Tennessee, I also lived in a rather small town, so this is not so different… expect nobody here preaches most of the time."
Alice actually chuckles from the last comment, humored. "Are you religious?"
A shrug is my answer, but then I open my mouth again. Maybe it's because I hate the silence that could follow, but I am more than a bit relieved to be able to talk with her like this. "No, not really. I quit that thing a while back. What about you?"
"I am an atheist," she says and skips a bit, steps feather-like. Strangely, though, there's a change in her tone. "My family also doesn't really believe in gods, but… I guess there could be something out there watching us."
This time, I almost snort for the second time. For over half of my life, I have been preached to, spoke to by priest in the Sunday church and almost every person claimed the same thing. I just can't believe Alice said such a cliché line and a smile forces its way to my face when I look at her again. However, my expression falls a bit and a hint of shame pierces my consciousness.
She has a small smile on her face. It's a sincere one and the same expression reaches her eyes. There doesn't seem to be a hint of joking in that expression, like all those other people back in my old home. This girl may not be someone who wears a cross over her heart, but she isn't trying to be funny either and I have to bite down on her tongue real hard not to let out anything that might be upsetting. Don't go and be an idiot. Behave.
"Well, I guess yes?" I say slowly and feel a bit of relief when her smile widens.
Again, those golden eyes twinkle. "That sounds like a very convincing answer."
I've realized one thing in my life. It's nothing major or surprising to some people who have known me, and I think I have acknowledged this to myself more times than I could count with my fingers, but I am thinking about it again. I am slow – a universal fact. Especially during uncomfortable, confusing or shocking situations where my mind turns blank. So of course, when I had granted Alice permission to come into my house today, I had forgotten one tiny problem.
The entire place is uncleaned. From the very dusty corner of my room to the hairy sewer of the bathroom… the latter must be somewhat taken care of. I mean, I used it this morning without a problem, but that's pretty much the only positive thought in my head as I fumble with the keys. They nearly slip from my grasp every few seconds and the fact that Alice is standing behind me isn't helping.
Okay. Just go in, make something up, run into your room and make the entire place seem somewhat decent. The plans of how I am supposed to bolt right in keep on swimming in my head and I bite down on my dry lips. The blood keeps on rushing into my skull, as I silently curse myself. Even the dirty dishes are still in the sink… I am dead.
The lock clicks and I open the door, gesturing for Alice to step inside first. She will see the disaster that is my house no matter in which order we go in anyway. Strangely, though, that thought is not comforting in the least.
"Wow," she gasps literally a second after stepping in and me closing the door. Her head tilts and turns as she looks around the hallway to the living room on the side and the kitchen, before turning back to me with a smile. "Your home is lovely."
Immediately, I remember my nightmare from last night and my entire body freezes. That's almost exactly what she had said in it. The only difference is that that was a nightmare, and this is a reality version of it.
"Thank you?" The words come out more as a question, but I do manage to smile a bit. She's being serious again… right? I shed off my coat next and she follows after, watching how I put my things away on the hangers and then walk further in. "Want some food?"
"No, thank you. I ate quite well at lunch today," she glides in, still looking around calmly while I stare after her.
Does she ever eat at the canteen? I am not very observant when it has come to other people. But I know from what the rumors have told and what I have seen a handful of times. The Cullen's merely sit in the middle of the sea of students, trays before them and untouched till they decide to leave and dump whatever they have into a trashcan. They do eat, sometimes, maybe even more times than I know or have seen. But I am certain that what Alice had on her plate today couldn't have filled her enough, whether she threw it away or not.
Still, I take her distraction as an opportunity to grab the dishes from this morning and start rinsing. The water is hot, and I nearly yelp out loud from pain, but keep it down, biting down on my lower lip. The water starts cooling down after two seconds which feels like an eternity. "Make yourself comfortable on the couch then. I will fix some snacks for myself."
This feels weird, more than weird, is what I silently whisper in my head. Alice is really in my house and when I look over my shoulder she has already sat down on the couch. The greasy brown leather looks more than unfitting together with her clothes and general appearance. I just made a Cullen sit down on cheap leather that has suffered more than one stain from food products… huh.
Gathering myself up mentally, I quickly dry off the dishes and put them away. First things first: snacks. But of course, this house barely has anything proper to offer and the only thing that lays at the bottom of one cupboard is an open bag of cheese chips from the weekend. Still, the bottom of my stomach twists from hunger and I grab it, emptying the entire content into a bowl. Although, my hands shake and end up spilling the chips slightly over the edge and to the floor.
"So," Alice's bell-like voice nearly makes me drop the bowl, "do you like cartoons?"
I frown a bit, finding the question strange coming from her lips and walk to the living room. "Well, I guess – what are you doing?"
Everything literally stops moving. The short girl turns her head to see me frozen like a deer and dread fills my gut. She's crouched down in front of the black screen, hands hovering near the bottom shelf where all the movies are stored. Or more specifically where all Disney movies are stored neatly in alphabetic order and series. Besides watching things from my laptop, this is where everything else is stored for me. However, once again, I have been slow and half-forgotten that these are the last things I want anyone from school seeing, much less Alice.
There are few things in this entire world that could rattle me to the point I feel like collapsing. And one of those is if someone touches asks or even sees my small collection. I'm not ashamed – not entirely – but I do remember how someone once told me that Disney is full of movies for little children, so that's where my over paranoid and protective mindset for showing them comes from. So, naturally, when the coldness from shock passes, my face burns. Like I literally lift on fire and my entire body becomes as stiff as a board.
After two seconds or more pass, the milky pale hand retreats and Alice's face falls. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude."
My mouth forms a very thin line, the gears in the head turning slowly. "No," I finally shake my head, "no, it's okay… What kind of movie did you bring anyway?"
She obviously hesitates, gaze flickering between my face and the set of movies next to her. But then she stands up gracefully, no signs of being put-off by her host's behavior showing, and waltzes right towards her bag on the couch. While she searches, I try to calm down and set the snacks on a small night table. Still, the calm appearing act does not stop the fact that my cheeks feel warm.
Calm, just keep calm. I inhale, silently shooting the movies on the shelf a heated glare like it's their fault I'm suddenly feeling more than uncomfortable. It's stupid of me to be embarrassed or ashamed of my infatuation with these cartoons, but those are exactly emotions that certainly tense up my shoulders right now. Alice's probably thinking how ridiculous it's for me to have these here, even if she's not outrightly showing it.
"Have you watched the White Chicks?" She asks, pulling the said movie out of her handbag.
I let my surprise to be evident – to both dissolve the stiffness on my shoulders and the somewhat tense atmosphere – and lift both my eyebrows. "Um, no. I've only seen trailers."
"Perfect!" She grins and looks then at the television. "How do I…?"
"Just let me do it. This thing is ancient anyway," I say and take the movie from her calmly. "You sure you don't need any food, though?"
"Yes, quite certain, but thank you," she answers pleasantly and sits back down on the couch, as I start working with the screen. We both fall into silence, though, and the only sound in the entire house comes from the wind howling outside and my fingers playing with the equipment.
This silence is familiar to me, surprisingly. This is mostly how I spend my days in this house. Unlike what I had originally thought, the Cullen girl doesn't start prattling on and on about different subjects. In fact, even during our walk here, she was more tight-lipped than what I expected. Even back in school, she has until now come at me with such a cheerful disposition that it's natural for me to have assumed her to be some kind of human jukebox, simply speaking. And when I am done and the movie starts playing, I look over my shoulder at her to see the pale-faced girl simply sitting with her knees together and back straight with a small smile on her face.
Honestly, even if the only people from my age group I have mostly ever associated with are limited to Alex during these recent years, I can tell that her posture is more than a bit rigid. Even her shoulders form two perfect ninety-degree angles downwards, creating a square shape. It's like she's more nervous than I in this entire situation, but I shake off the thought. There's no way she is like that – the smile on her face is too pleasant to be uncomfortable.
However, when I sit back down, keeping a good distance away from her and giving us our space, her posture doesn't change. Mine is not that too different from hers and we both continue sitting in silence. Everything has become more than a bit awkward, but I try bearing it and concentrate on the show, occasionally glancing at Alice from the corner. She's keeping her gaze straight ahead, though, not even inching or adjusting herself on the couch. I envy that composure, no matter how uncomfortable she looks, because I keep on fidgeting almost every few minutes, sweating and wondering what to do.
Is she regretting coming here? She must. I bite down on my lower lip from this thought and look down from the television to the ground, mood dropping further down from the thought. I can't stop it. This place must be more plain and common than what Alice is used to, given how her family dresses and drives across the town. Not to mention her father is a great doctor, from what I have heard at least. So, money shouldn't be a problem for them. The petite girl must be used to luxury, to something more extravagant than this house. She only probably felt bad for me to have become a topic of the school from spilling all that paint on her brother, so this visit is all done from pity.
Suddenly, the silence is broken by the pixie-like girl letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry, about Rosalie."
Immediately, the flash of memory from today, after school, hits me. The glare those dark eyes had given me, and the way the blonde's shoulder had bumped hard against mine. I lift my hand to stroke that said shoulder and look at the movie playing out before us.
"What about her?" I ask, playing dumb for no reason.
"She was being," Alice trails off, for the first time what seems like forever, moving her head with a thought, "rude. I saw how she bumped into you earlier at school."
"It's fine, but… did she have a bad day or something?" I ask hesitantly, turning my head to look at her with slight curiosity. It would be nice to know why I was being physically assaulted like that, after all.
She looks at me with an apologetic smile. "You could say that. She and Edward have totally been under the weather lately, but I'm sure it will get better after some time. They only need to calm down a bit and Edward especially will have to take a break from school for a little while to recover."
I give a slight nod to her explanation, finding a bit more sense in everything, despite the fact that details are more than a bit foggy. I push the nagging curiosity away, thinking this is her family matter. "I see."
"You are with him in the same biology class, right?" She asks and after I give another nod she frowns. "Was he… acting strangely in any way during that period? He did text us that he left the class early."
"Well," I purse my lips, wondering if I should be blunt or sugarcoat the truth. I choose the former. "He was, I think at least, kind of glaring at the new girl that sat down next to him."
"Bella Swan," Alice states more to herself and looks to the side, eyes staring at the television screen, but not appearing as if they see a thing from that. "That's the new girl's name."
I snort a bit, remembering that pale girl's nervous state the moment she walked into the class. She had actually appeared like a rabbit or a deer when stepping in and getting all those stares. "Yeah, everyone was kind of ogling her."
The dark-haired girl's lips quirk up. "I remember, when my family moved here, we also got a bit of attention."
A slight smile actually appears on my face, as well. "That's an underestimation. I remember how someone spread a rumor of you guys being some kind of a long-lost royal family or something along those lines."
It happens in a second, Alice's entire face morphs into a completely different expression. Her eyes cringe from the sides and her white teeth come fully into view. A bell-like giggle fills the entire house and she leans back, entire composure relaxing.
"We did cause some commotion, didn't we?" She asks good-naturedly in a nostalgic manner.
"Yup," I reply, but unlike her, there is no laxness in my posture. Rather, it's a surprise that she found my comment that amusing and not uncomfortable. I at least felt the latter, when I heard this rumor for the first time. But instead of bringing up this opinion of mine, the cheese chips fill my mouth and another silence falls over us. This time it's much lighter and even a slight smirk starts forming on my lips after a while.
It comes as the worst possible timing in my entire life and as the most ridiculous mistake as well. One second, I am holding a steaming mug of tea calmly and the next a huge sneeze ends up splattering the liquid against my lower face. The liquid isn't too hot, but it isn't exactly what you would call lukewarm and my eyes blur over with tears.
The tea drips down my chin and my mouth is open from the yelp of pain that escapes from it. Many thoughts race through my head, but most of them are muffled by a voice yelling that my face is on fire. Everything else pretty much doesn't matter.
Alice's clear sharp gasp pierces the air and through my whimpering. Her chair scratches the ground from standing up suddenly. "Trixie!"
"AH!" I yell out in pain again and quickly bolt to the sink, cursing myself loudly in my head. The skin has begun to ache, still feeling the burning sensation and sending sensations of the entire layer being boiled. Hopefully the later will stay as a simple figurative worry in my head, is what I pray as ice cold water starts pouring down on me.
The second numbness spreads, I let out a sigh of relief through the rushing water, gasping for air. It works – there's barely any pain around the areas where the hot liquid splattered. And that's precisely why I reluctantly draw my face away from the cold. The second the room temperature hits, the skin throbs and warms up from all the blood rushing in the damaged areas. From both shock and embarrassment, my hands hover over those spots, eyes switching to stare at the table where the filled cup is surrounded by spilled over tea. Idiot, idiot, idiot! I close my eyes in frustration, letting a single tear roll down before opening my eyes again.
And then Alice comes to the picture, staring at me with wide eyes, without blinking. She's standing on the other end of the table, looking lost at what to do. Her hands are limp at her sides, but it's her jaw that is firmly closed, which almost makes it appears as if she's clenching it and gritting her teeth together. Although, the way her entire body stays motionless lets her appear as an unmovable statue.
Without any reason, a shiver travels down my spine. It isn't that I am that extremely worried about the tea being spilled – oh, who am I kidding? – I am going to have blisters and totally embarrassed myself just now – but it's the petite girl's stance that sets me off. I could expect her to be a bit freaked out by what happened or anything along those similar lines, but not complete stillness. Or how she has clearly taken some steps back from where she had sat a few moments ago.
My eyebrows finally knit together. "Alice?"
The moment we make eye contact, the tenseness disappears, and she blinks. Her mouth opens for a second, but then closes, before opening again to ask: "Continue pouring cool water on your face."
"Um," is what unintelligently comes out and then I give a small nod, before turning on the water again.
She doesn't speak, but when I look at her from the corner her smile is tightlipped. She's not looking at me, though. "Just be like that for a bit, while I call my father."
"Wait, what? You're going already?" I ask and am about to close the water and straighten up when she places her hand on my back. The touch is sudden, and I nearly jump from the contact.
Alice pauses, keeping her hand steady where it's. However, there's hesitance in the touch now and a frown tugs the corners of her mouth. "I'll call him to come over here. That tea might leave burns, so it's better that he takes a look."
"What?" I repeat, voice muffled slightly by the water's rush. My face is morphing into a confused and then panicked expression. The stretching of my face causes some discomfort and tightness and I have to twist the handle and straighten up. "No, no, no, no, no. There's no need for that. I-I'm sure he's busy, your dad. You don't have to call him or – "
"Oh, hush," she says gently and starts searching for the number, detaching her hand. "He'll pick me up at the same time. It will not be a bother for him, I'm sure. So, don't worry about it and continue washing."
"Still, this is nothing," I try insisting and look helplessly between her and the wet surface of the table. Great. More guests and I'm a mess.
While I am mentally crying and wondering how I'll survive this night, Alice is already speaking into her phone and walking towards the entrance of the kitchen. She starts speaking in a hushed tone a second later, a sign that someone picked up her call, but also like I'm not meant to hear a word that's being spoken. It makes me feel more insecure – if I do not know what's being said, how would I know what is being really discussed? Of course, there's no way that she could be saying anything bad about me. My clumsiness to be exact, but an invisible weight does settle into my chest. It's kind of late already and the last thing I need in here is more company because of something like this.
I bite down on my lower lip, not knowing what to do for a long moment, but then grab a rag and start cleaning the table. Honestly, something catastrophic or embarrassing was bound to happen today. Nothing could go flawlessly, especially, if someone is a nervous wreck. And here we are. I allowed myself a few minutes of relaxation and this the end result. The more I recall what happened, the more I feel incredibly and insufferably idiotic and clumsy. Who in the world has ever ended up like this because of a mere sneeze?
The moment the entire table is clean again, it's almost forgettable that there was an incident. The only reminder of the reality is on my face, though, and it continues throbbing. I inhale deeply, not knowing what else to do anymore. Well, it's no use to be crying over spilled milk. Or tea, in this case.
Suddenly, Alice turns slightly back to the kitchen. "Does your face hurt? Is there aching?"
My gut drops, thinking that it's her father who is asking these questions from the other end. "A bit."
"She says it does… Yes, I am… No," the petite girl turns her back to me again, but she does not whisper or lower her volume this time around. "Alright, see you later… He says he'll be here in twenty minutes or more and that you need to keep on pouring cool water down on your face – no ice allowed."
"No need to tell me that twice," I mutter, but from how serious she looks I have to turn around and turn on the water again, lowering my face to the sink.
Despite wearing heels, Alice barely makes noise as she walks to the table and sits back down to her original spot. She has a cup in front of her, too, but it's not tea what's in it. The pale girl had decided to drink water and eat a few chips, which could have been an option for me, as well. But no. I had to take the damn tea.
"This is certainly a peculiar finale for our evening," Alice suddenly says, and our eyes meet again. Although, it's awkward for me considering the angle I am looking at her from.
A peculiar finale? I nearly raise my eyebrows and pull my face away from the water for a moment. "That's… an interesting way of putting it."
"I have had fun, though," she continues, leaning back much like I have and smile widening. "I don't really recall a time when I was in a friend's house like this."
It's from pure luck this time, that I am not drinking anything and it's pouring down on me, to begin with. In fact, I am so grateful that I am mostly empty-handed from further embarrassment and that the rushing liquid covers somewhat how my mouth opens in shock. A blink later, I am still looking at her smiling face and she meets my surprised gaze without any problem. The expression she wears is dazzling to the point that I have to look away.
This girl, this one insanely mysterious and strange girl, who literally started fully talking to me less than a week ago, is actually suggesting that she sees me as a 'friend'. Not only is it unexpected, but I am also in the strangest position possible to receive such information. I am baffled, beyond that. All those thoughts of her having a second motive all this time waver and a sharp piece of guilt makes me bite down unconsciously on my tongue. We are different, is the first thing that comes into my mind. Both in looks, family matters, lives… everything. Even while we were both casually sitting in the living room's couch, I kept on comparing these things. We basically have nothing in common. Everything of her, from the top of her dark hair to the dainty feet in fancy heels, are all so different from what I'm used to, what I am.
My mind has become blank. Not even the aching of my face wakes me up from it and I want to pinch myself. She's… being serious, right?
"Who knows, you two might as well become best friends." I stop breathing for a second, the water running down my face, dangerously close to suffocating me, has nothing to do with it. Of all times for Alex's words to come at me… Now I just feel like a total jerk.
"You know," I start slowly, pulling away from the sink, "you're the second person I've brought into this house. To hang out, I mean."
Immediately, a flash of brunette hair passes my thoughts. Alex was the first one I brought here, he's the only one I have really considered as a friend for a long time. So, maybe that's one of the reasons why I can't believe that I am even revealing this to Alice. The moment the words register in my head, I start feeling vulnerable and slightly regret that I have even opened my mouth. It feels really weird – all of this is too surreal.
Very slowly, I lean back down and let the water ease the aching on my skin. It's like a small cover for me, but I manage to still feel too visible.
"Oh?" Now, it's her eyebrows that rise up. But there is no sign of judgment for my antisocialism. Rather, she looks pleased and leans to the side until half of her body is tilted, similar to my position. "Well, I'm glad to have taken the silver place."
A silence follows. Alice doesn't remove her gaze from me and continues leaning without showing any signs of discomfort. Her expression is open, honest and the small smile on her face is the same. Maybe, if this would be a more normal situation where I wouldn't embarrass myself, her unwavering stare would be less strange and uncomfortable. The problem is that it's not, despite the slight swelling of emotions in my chest.
I look away, again – a stupid and rude move towards someone who is being nice, I know. Still, I swallow the guilt… but a second later a small smile spreads on my face. And I got a feeling that Alice sees it because she chuckles.
There's, once again, nothing to discuss, but I prefer it this way. There is no better way to gather my thoughts right before another stranger – a father – waltzes in to see what kind of person his child has been hanging out with for the past few hours. First impressions have never really been my forte, but this is the first time when a father of someone I know has to come to check on my 'injuries'. The reality of it all makes me both blush and turn pale. Without a mirror, I can't really tell what I look like, but there must be more than faint redness.
Gosh. This can't get any worse. I let out a quiet sigh, getting both a headache, annoyance and the shivers constantly rocking my body. Slight irritation flares my features. I told dad to fix that heating system… I will blame him for this.
Suddenly, a loud noise of tires shrieking from the outside makes my heart jump and rise up from the sink. I look together with Alice out of the window to see a bright light coming from the dark. The sound of an engine going off is what brings the silence back.
"Didn't he say he would be here in twenty minutes?" I ask randomly, breaking the ice. That's one fast driver.
As if knowing where my thoughts are going, Alice looks at me with a small smile. "He must have been closer than he thought."
There's no expression on my face, as she stands up and walks to the door with me awkwardly trailing behind. It's as if she's the one owning and living in this place and not me. Rather, I feel suddenly very uncomfortable and tense in my own skin. Here we go, I think silently and start brushing some of my bangs behind my ear to look somewhat normal.
"You certainly arrived here fast enough," is Alice's first comment, when she opens the door without hesitation or waiting for the sound of knocking or a doorbell. Immediately, a cold wind blows in and there's already a person standing at the bottom the porch. His form is hidden by her by the difference in platforms they stand on.
"Yes, well, the roads weren't actually filled with traffic," a voice replies. It's a pleasant sound, actually – calm and smooth. And an opposite to the terrible screeching of wheels from earlier.
Alice crosses her arms. "Are they ever? Anyway, Trixie."
Immediately, I stiffen up further and have to gather myself up quicker than anticipated.
First of all, I already look like a mess, not to mention that I forgot to wipe my face from excess water dripping down on it. Quickly, I use my sleeve to take care of it, but not without losing more of my pride in the process. Who knows what kind of damage the tea has done already? No, no, no, don't panic. This is your house, everything is fine. You can do this. There's nothing to be ashamed about in this.
Without any hesitation or a pause, my new apparent 'friend' turns slightly sideways to let her father in, and I swear my sweating becomes visible. Things truly could get worse, when it comes to me, it seems. Whether it's from pure coincidence or the entire family are long-lost relatives put together under strange circumstances, but I can see where the Cullen siblings' genetics could really come from. Dr. Cullen, as he's known throughout the school, is truly young in appearance. So much so that I find it hard to believe him to be raising a bunch of teenagers.
Blond hair, much like Rosalie's, but far shorter, is stark against the dark background along with snow pale skin. He's dressed in a dark jacket but otherwise doesn't appear to be in a greater need for warmer clothes, despite the chilly wind that continues blowing in from the open door. I, at least, shiver from the contact of the breeze.
There are dark circles under his eyes, but otherwise, the darker irises look at me with friendliness. He takes a step inside and raises his hand. "Good evening, Beatrix. My name is Carlisle Cullen."
I know, I almost blurt out, sliding a silent gaze towards Alice whose smile widens just a tad bit as she closes the door. However, it does little to drop the chilly temperature of the entire house. In fact, I start to slowly, and more than a bit awkwardly, lift my hand as well. But immediately feel a shock traveling through me at the moment of contact.
Now, there's nothing even close to medical knowledge on the human body – expect what I was taught in seventh grade's health class – in my brain. But I am pretty sure that the hand I am holding is below what is considered as normal human body temperature. Mr. Cullen's skin is freezing like it's just as cold as the water I used to cool down my skin earlier, if not colder. The hold he uses is firm, despite the fact that his fingers should be numb.
I managed to look him into the eyes – one of the most painful things I have ever done in any kind of awkward situations – this is the worst – and swallow the lump in my throat.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Cullen."
"Likewise," he smiles, showing his pearly white teeth similar to his daughter standing next to him. For a moment after we let go of each other, his dark eyes slide to her. "Alice has told me a lot about you."
"You don't have to tell her that," the said girl nudges her father and smiles innocently to the questioning look I send her. A wink is the only answer she gives to it.
"Alright then," Carlisle's voice takes a sudden professional turn and he gestures the kitchen around the corner. "Let's all sit down, so I can take a look at you, Beatrix."
Even if the walk is short, I can see some similarities with the way the daughter and father duo walk this small distance. Alice is graceful and appears as if she's floating – I've noticed this too many times back at school – Mr. Cullen's are also graceful with longer strides. They both barely make any noise at all, which is probably the hundredth time I am taking note of this.
When I sit down, I feel like I can breathe slightly again. The dark-haired girl sits down on the opposite end, while the blond man takes a seat in the middle of the two of us. For the second time, my eyes dart between the two, following how the color schemes and features are similar. Seriously, adopted or not, the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.
As the doctor pulls on the chair and makes it very clear to approach me, I lower my eyes bashfully, praying that my already acne scarred face doesn't look worse. Mr. Cullen doesn't even blink when he looks around the places where the tea has splashed on my face, not once looking me in the eye. That's what makes a sudden lump in my throat grow. His silence and stare are both worrisome and I glance nervously at Alice. She's not looking at me, unfortunately. Her attention is focused on her father instead.
"How hot was the water exactly?" He suddenly asks, lifting his gaze from the lower part of my face.
My throat feels tight under his straightforward eyes and I start looking away, finding distraction in the teacup left on the table. "Um… not sure. I-it wasn't steaming or anything."
"I do see slight redness," he continues, lowering his eyes for the second time, before looking back up. "You said it hurts."
"Yes, or aches more like it."
Without waiting for anything else, he reaches for his jacket's pocket. "Do you have any pain medicines in the house? And do you have any allergies?"
"Um, no and no?"
"Then I'll subscribe you some mild painkillers for the long run," he pulls out a small bottle, rattling with pills inside.
Once again, I nearly raise my eyebrows in the presence of a Cullen, as the object is placed into my hands. The expression I wear must look like there's some kind of an oddity in the room, which kind of is, or are. But as soon as those dark eyes rise up, I smile a bit to not look too stiff.
He returns the small attempt with his own polite one. "Now, unfortunately, I do not have any ointments with me, but you should press a cool – not freezing – wet cloth or something similar to your face for a while. There might be some swelling and redness, though. However, that should disappear in about a week, from what I can tell. By the way, do you have any honey in your house?"
From the point where he said the symptoms that my face might suffer from, my mind went blank and Mr. Cullen's words started going in from one ear and out of the next. Terrible images of me just walking down the school's hallways red and swollen on the face and other pupils laughing just flashes dangerously in my brain. It's like preparing for a horror movie, but you've already seen the spoilers and are still shaking.
So, naturally, I blink in confusion from hearing half of the question. "Huh?"
The corners of his lip twitch in amusement. "Do you have any honey in your house? I know it might sound a bit silly, but it can be used in this case as an ointment to prevent possible damage on the skin."
I trail off, trying to think what truly is behind these cabinets. Although, using honey on something like this does sound quite 'silly'. "I think so."
"Apply it on your burns," he instructs and then pulls out a small notebook and pen. "You should also buy real ointment. I can't say that this is a bad case, but better safe than sorry."
"Alright then. Thank you," I reach out and take the small note he rips off. It's filled with quite neat handwriting and the name of what's probably the unfamiliar product I will have to use. However, the more I make sense of the text, the more the uneasiness in my stomach grows. "You said that the redness will go away in a week?"
"Yes, but if you take care of it, maybe less," he answers easily, clearly detecting the uneasiness from miles away if that look in his eyes is anything to go by with. He starts picking up his jacket again, though, and with that, his amusement is wiped. "Best be on our way, though. Do take care, Beatrix."
I stand up, feeling a bit relieved, if not also horrified, by this doctor's visit. At least now I know how to take somewhat care of the problem that is on my face. Plans of actually evading going to school tomorrow and days forward are already forming, when suddenly something stiff, but gentle wraps itself around me. It may be due to still being stupefied by everything so far and the fear of having the face of a troll, but my mind only comprehends what's happening after two seconds. Short locks of hair tickle the side of my head and the difference in stature makes Alice's chin rest on my shoulder.
The scent of flowery perfume waffles and the arms tighten when there is no response from me. The action is highly unexpected so that my entire body keeps on staying stiff as a board. Still, when the shorter girl draws back, she has a wide smile on her face. However, like today back at school, I can feel no warmth radiating from her, regardless of the fact that we are so near each other. Despite me having a thick shirt on, I can feel almost nothing from the embrace. The heat on my face fades, replaced by the slight burning of my skin from the water burns and coldness that otherwise spreads around my body.
"Bye now, Trixie," she says kindly, giving my shoulder a squeeze.
The expression I wear must appear incredulous to her, but I do manage a small smile and start walking with her towards the door. Although, the different sensations from the hug still make me feel puzzled if not slightly freaked out.
From the sidelines, Mr. Cullen's immobile figure waits for his daughter, but strangely I catch a peculiar expression on his face. It appears as if he's frowning.
"…and then I decided to search for the honey. Luckily, there was some in the house, for some strange reason. I don't remember asking dad to buy that stuff, ever," I finish, wetting my dry lips and leaning against a wall with an almost bored look on my face. The sun is not showing behind the clouds, but it's still in the middle of the school day and I am feeling worn-out.
The other end in the phone stays deadly quiet for a while, the only thing breaking that silence is the distant silence of other students from all over the school.
"Okay. I'm lost," Alex finally utters out. "You watched the White Chicks with Alice Cullen?"
A frown tugs down my eyebrows and lips. "That all you heard? Really?"
"You've got to admit that it sounds really impossible," he comments easily, clearly not speaking about the main issue. "I mean, I knew that she was a bit strange, but wow. I would have picked her as a more of Dracula or Edward Scissorhands kind of girl, but I guess not."
"I just spent," my eyes dart to the clock in my phone, "five minutes explaining what happened and you are thinking that the movie was the strangest thing? Sometimes, just sometimes Lex, I really – A-achoo!"
The boy on the other end lets out a low whistle. "Wow! That was one loud sneeze."
The wind blows harder, reminding why I should return back inside and not sit here against the school's wall and soak my jeans on the moistures grass. A shiver rocks my spine right after the sneeze has and I bite down on my tongue. Honestly, despite my friend speaking in a light-hearted manner and clearly not taking this conversation as seriously as he should be, I do feel a bit better from talking with him. Still, the chilly breeze feels far more than a bit harsh on my face and lowers any positive emotion I might possess.
Never before have I woken up, seen my face in the mirror and felt disturbed beyond belief. There's no mirror here, but it's mostly because of my current features that I have come here to hide. The skin around my mouth and partly the tip of my nose and cheeks are flushed, clearly showing in more reddish colors – tender to the touch, throbbing and quite humiliating.
"Does your face hurt?" Alex asks suddenly as if knowing what's going through her mind.
"Yeah, a bit. It helps when I put something cool on it, but I don't exactly want to walk around the place with a rag on my face."
"Why did you even go to school, if it's that bad?" He asks, completely confused and lost with my way of thinking.
Staying at home would have been a much better option, but I end up only sighing and shaking my head. "We have a small test in math today and it will also have some effect on our final grade, so…"
For the second time, the other end of the phone line is silent. "…couldn't you have just gone to that one period and leave for the rest of the day, then?"
My face flushes and I shift, starting to rise up from knowing too well that the time for that very test would start soon. "I still have other subjects as well, you know. I'll fall behind… Also, Alice forgot the White Chicks movie to my house, and I am still planning on returning it to her. But it seems that she's not even at the school today. She would have been present in the Cullen table otherwise."
"Hm. Maybe she's sick?"
"Possibly. Her brothers, Edward and Jasper, were also gone," I sigh out when thinking how puzzling the sight of the only two Cullen's present at the table had been.
A chuckle breaks the train of thoughts. "You sound like you've been keeping a good eye on them lately."
A sarcastic laugh leaves from my mouth. "Nice try. I actually liked how yesterday went… could have been better without this burn on my face, though."
"It can't be that terrible, can it?"
"How about I'll come down to the hospital later to show you?"
The bell rings perfectly right after the question. I start walking out of my hiding place, ready to face another row of stares and snickers in the hallway with my head down. However, I have come to notice that it is no better than when I became one of the top news of this school during the last semester from splashing red paint all over Jasper Cullen. That thought alone gives me slight – very thin and slight – hope that these mockeries will end sooner or later.
Alex must be hearing the ringing from his side because he lets out a sigh. "Well, I'll try calling you later."
"Okay," I pause right before I am about to turn around a corner. "Good luck with the surgery. I'm sure you'll pull it through. So, just hang in there, Lex."
"…Thanks, Trix."
The line is cut off and the ringing of the bells pauses, leaving me alone and silent standing on the spot filled with overly grown grass. For some reason, this conversation didn't give me as much encouragement as I had hoped it would. Instead, it has left a very bitter taste into my mouth and weights down on my thoughts. The memory of last evening isn't exactly what causes it, though. It's like the entire universe has suddenly decided to surround me with imaginary dark clouds when there are real ones high up in the sky.
Focus. I let out a deep sigh and finally get my legs to move towards the next class. Test first, social troubles next, is the order that my brain organizes the problems and difficulties with. In this context, however, no matter how I try recalling equations while walking, nothing stops the brain from making certain people's heads pop into it. Because of this, I also nearly trip on nothing while walking up the stairs. Forget about everything else.
I turn around another corner and see the door to my math class wide open. Unconsciously, I must start walking pretty fast since in a few short seconds I am in, seated and taking out my pencil case. It's a rather of a surprise that the chair doesn't fail from under me.
Test first. Easy enough. The teacher tells everyone to calm down, starts lecturing about the importance of this test for our future, laughing silently in advance to anyone who might have put the studying aside until last minute – which of course has happened – and starts spreading the papers around. The usual. No disturbances in any form or way anywhere near me. Even the seatmate on my left is sweating and secretly still checking from her book under the table for the answers.
There is absolutely nothing for me to worry about. I nod, confirming my inner thoughts and look down at the paper. Immediately, there's a mental hit to the brain from the sight of a calculation that I have certainly never seen before. Still, the pen in my hands moves faster than my thoughts.
The dark text is stark against the whiteness of the paper. The same whiteness that Alice and the rest of her family have. The same as Cullen's, Alex's deadly pale skin and…
The same as… I frown, clenching the pen in my hand.
There is really no reason for it, but a shiver gets to snake its way down my spine. No way around it: I can't finish this test without getting a grade below average.
High school bullying is nothing new. It is seen in drama shows and everyday normal real-life situations for hundredths of times a year. The entire process of bullying can be either very harmful or plain annoying – in my case it has become both.
The confrontation should be expected. After all, pretty much the entire school saw a day ago how the pixie-like Cullen walked away from the main building together with me. It's a fact that nobody can erase from their memories and I should have been more scared of the effects it would have because of that incident.
So, as I walk down the hallway and silently mourn from how miserably the math test went, someone's shoulder suddenly collides with mine, digging deeply into the bone and I wince. It's definitely irritating and uncomfortable, not to mention rude, but surprisingly I ignore it and continue walking. The bump is nothing compared to what Rosalie's collision the other day had felt like.
"Hey! Can't you even apologize, paint girl?"
Oh, for the love of… slowly, like there is invisible rust in the joints, I turn slightly to see a pair of snake eyes looking at me. Of course, just my luck to run into Lauren of all times. Not only that, but the way her brows are knitted together, and face flushed even underneath the makeup, anyone could tell that she is in an unpleasant mood.
"Sorry," is what I choose to say without missing a beat.
A second after that and before I can turn away, a sneering smile makes its way to her lips. It's easily guessed what her eyes are looking at for that kind of expression to form. "Your face really has been burned. Wow. You look like a mutilated clown."
The comment stings and makes my face flush. I become very aware of the people around us, the stares and wish to bury my entire head into something. The ground should just open and swallow me up from this humiliation. The throbbing of the burns starts becoming too much, but I still manage to keep my face neutral, though. Staying like this becomes a bit more than difficult with each second.
Just breathe. You're more mature than her any day!
"It seems like Alice isn't in school today," she continues without a pause. "I wonder… She was the one who gave you that burn, wasn't she?"
It is a struggle for me not to let the lower part of my jaw drop. The burning becomes worse, but this time I almost bite down on my tongue. The accusation is brutally forward to the point that the words dry up. I am left speechless and stare at her in disbelief, ears steadily being filled with the whispers of the other students around us. They have all heard what Lauren just said and really are taking it into consideration.
This isn't going right. I should have merely continued walking the very moment I heard this girl's voice. I am not great with confrontations, it's far easier to stay silent. That is one of the reasons why I have such a high resistance for her and the other bullying. Speaking up my mind is a big 'no' since it would only excite the ones doing the antagonizing. But still, despite knowing and being used to all of this, there seems to be a limit to my nerves, as well – my hand have clenched into fists without me realizing it immediately.
Again, the flashbacks from last evening – the very same thing that has kept my mind occupied – fills my vision for a second. Alice's smiling face is what mostly appears in it and keeps on making the boiling in my chest rise up in steam. I know that this is a bit hypocritic of me to suddenly be on her side when I was so suspicious of her motives not too long ago, but…
Now, a self-satisfied smirk is appearing on Lauren's face. "I also bet that she didn't come to school today because she didn't want to see your face."
"Are you certain it's mine and not your face she doesn't want to see?" I spit out without thinking. The sensation of doing so feels great, but soon that emotion switches with cold sweat trailing down my back. This is definitely not how you should answer to a bully, especially, if they have such petty reasons for trying to humiliate you.
Lauren does, however, appear surprised for a moment. I have never, if I recall correctly, answered back like this. "Getting cocky because she paid even slightest bit attention to you?"
It would be a lie if I said 'no'. The thought that one of the Cullen's asked to be – or more like decided so herself – my friend, is in its own silly way empowering. Nobody has really even talked to me in this school as much as she has. So, maybe that's why I get encouragement from the taunting question rather than get meek and give up from it. Still, though, my face feels flushed and it isn't because of the red burns. There's a pressure in the air restricting my chest and breathing. The sentences that could be formed next are mixing and turning into mud inside the place that is my head.
However, before I can come up with another comeback, a teacher suddenly cuts through the crowd of students. "Why are you all stalling in the middle of a hallway? Hurry up and get to your next classes!"
Both Lauren and I recoil a bit from this interruption, especially me. Whatever I was ready to say is stuck in my throat now. It must be because the teacher has managed to make me come back to my senses and immediately dread pools into my stomach.
As people start to disband, I turn around and try walking as naturally as possible down across the hallway. Even while sweating invisibly, paranoid side of me sees how hundredths of stares burn against my back and whispering continues. Whether it's still because of my burns or the confrontation, it doesn't really matter – every bit of it is humiliating. There should be nothing for me to be embarrassed over – Lauren is the one who should be feeling this way – but no matter how much I recall the way we exchanged words, I can't help but think of other ways where the situation could have been handled better from my part. I can't believe what I was doing!
I inhale deeply, once I am in an area with fewer people and clutch my bag as my life depends on it. The sweating is now worse, and I bite silently down on my tongue. For some reason, no matter how much I walk and get further away from the incident area, the heat doesn't come down. It's like the burns on my face have decided to spread.
Alright… I sigh and walk to the nearest bathroom and turn on the ice-cold water. I am okay now. I start splashing the water against my face and let it numb the throbbing spots. There's no need to get all worked up because of this. My hands clench into fists on the edges of the sink and again I inhale deeply for the second time.
It's only shortly after what feels like a few minutes, that I look up and feel even more down. The mirror only shows me the wetness and the red splatters, and I feel like crying. Maybe, I should go home? Slowly, I reach out and touch the burns, pressing my fingers down until they break the numbness the water has caused.
My face hurts, but the memory of much colder hand touching the skin flashes in my head. The weight of the borrowed movie in my bag is doubling.
I should probably take a few days off.