A/N: I hope everyone is safe out there! My world working in healthcare has been completely flipped upside down. It's been a long month, and I'm sorry for the wait. Thanks for sticking with me xx
Indiana.
"Are we ever going to get a break?" Leah sighs, exasperated after handing over an iced Americano to what feels like our eightieth customer today.
I wipe down the espresso machine, watching the way the sunlight pouring in from the windows catches my ring and sends a glittering reflection across the stainless steel. "I wonder why it's so busy," I mumble in response.
Weeks have passed and we somehow returned to normalcy. Well, as normal as things can be when giant, shape shifting wolves are involved. My little stint with Malcolm bought us more time than I expected, and Alice still hasn't seen anything worth mentioning. I know its all borrowed time, but I've just tried to keep myself busy so I don't think about it too much. Ultimately, there's nothing I can do by myself, so constantly worrying will get me nowhere.
Instead, I returned to the coffee shop and have been working long hours while Paul patrols during the day. Tiffany welcomed me back with open arms and never questioned it. And while I'm not sure if it was Josie and Embry's doing, or if she is truly the most merciful employer ever, I am thankful either way.
"So many freaking tourists," Leah growls as she throws a rag in the sink. "Who books a business retreat in La Push? The weather isn't even nice."
I glance out of the window at the group of middle-aged men talking on their cell phones and laughing with each other. They've all got coffee and are dressed in slacks and button-up shirts with the sleeves partially rolled. I've seen them every morning for the last three days.
Turning back to the espresso machine, I finish cleaning it and toss my rag into the sink as well. "At least it's bringing money in," I add.
"Yeah, but they're just looking to build a casino," she snorts, folding her arms across her chest. "That'll never happen."
I smile at her, watching her glare at them, her hair brushing the tops of her exposed collarbones. Even with the glare, there's happiness inside of her. She told me earlier that she's going to stop phasing soon, and that she and Jesse want to try and live as normally as possible.
The smile on her face was the biggest I've ever seen.
Paul and I have had them over for a dinner a few nights this week. It made me feel like a suburban housewife, but it was kind of fun. I made chicken and pasta and we had wine even though the smell of it alone made my stomach roll with memories of drinking too much.
I'm happy for Leah. I hope she really can stop phasing soon and is able to focus on herself for a change. She's spent so long taking care of this reservation. She deserves it. They all do.
One of the guys outside suddenly turns and notices her looking. She continues to glare at him, but instead of looking away, he shoots her a wink and lifts his chin in acknowledgement.
"Oh gross," she mutters, turning on her heel to make for the back room. "Doesn't he know I could kill him?"
I laugh and shake my head, then pretend to fuss with the cash register so that I don't have to make eye contact with them.
The men eventually disperse and the end of my shift nears. I'm supposed to meet up with Kim and Josie for some girl time, and they said they would swing by and grab me so Paul could go meet up with Jared and Embry.
I change from my coffee-stained work clothes into a pair of yoga pants and loose t-shirt in the back room before going outside to wait. It's a little chilly, but not too bad. I scroll aimlessly through my phone as I wait and it's not long before they pull up in front of me.
"Get in, loser, we're going shopping," Josie calls through the window, and Kim bursts into a fit of giggles.
My brows fur together as I pull open the back door. "Shopping?" I repeat.
Kim laughs even harder and Josie cracks a smile. "I'm kidding. Haven't you ever seen Mean Girls?" she asks.
I shrug my shoulders and buckle up. You would think by now she'd realize I've seen next to no movies. "What are we really doing?" I ask.
"Hanging out!" Josie throws the car in reverse and takes off down the road, cranking the music up.
Kim reaches over the back of her seat and hands me a smoothie from the small shop by River's Edge. I can already tell by the color that it's a Peanut Passion – my favorite.
We drive around and talk for a little bit, listening to music and drinking our smoothies, before pulling into the parking lot of the community center. Josie grabs her backpack and we all exit the car, heading towards the entrance.
"What are we doing here?" I ask as Josie pulls open the door and we file through it.
She drops her bag on one of the tables and unzips it, then reaches inside and pulls out the box that contains the pointe shoes she and Alice bought me for Christmas. I swallow the lump in my throat and it drops into my stomach like a rock.
"Having a dance party," she replies, and Kim nods eagerly.
I look from the shoes, to the girls, and back to the shoes again. "I haven't really danced in years…"
"All the more reason to put these puppies on and break them in!"
I'll be the first to admit that my desire to dance grew after watching my performance that night with Josie and Alice, but on the other hand, part of me doesn't even know where to start. Do I still have it in me? Will it come back to me with ease, like riding a bike?
"It'll be fun," Josie reassures me as she fishes out a stereo from one of the cabinets. "We used to do this all the time as kids. Jared even joined once."
Slowly, I grab the shoebox and remove the ribbon and lid, reaching in to feel the soft, satin exterior of the shoes. I really wanted to be able to not accept them, because I know the brand and know how expensive they are, but the second I took the wrapping paper off I started crying and knew I wouldn't be able to give them back. I've almost taken them out of their box a hundred times since Christmas, but I never followed through with it. This is the first time I've actually touched them.
It takes me back to my first set of pointe shoes. The excitement, the jittery nerves – only this time I'm twenty-one, not eleven.
I sit down on the floor and take my shoes and socks off, then slip my feet into the pointe shoes, tying the ribbons around my ankles until they're snug and secure.
"Do they fit?" Josie asks, plopping down next to me.
I nod.
Kim plugs her phone into the stereo and starts scrolling through her music. "I feel like a teenager again!" She squeals happily. "What kind of music should I put on?"
"Anything, really," I reply. Theoretically, you can dance ballet to anything.
Josie jumps up and joins her and I start to stretch, leaning over my straightened legs and wrapping my hands around my heels.
Flexibility is one thing I haven't lost.
Once I feel that my muscles are stretched and loose enough, I stand up and test the shoes. "Perfect," I whisper to myself. For some reason, it's a little embarrassing having Josie and Kim stare at me, waiting for me to do something. I guess the performer in me is a little further off than I am.
Kim picks a song and Josie cranks it up and starts jumping around, throwing her arms all over the place with a giant smile on her face. "Don't let him take dancing from you, Indie," she says, nearly out of breath already.
Kim starts dancing around too, though with less jostling – her hair bouncing around and tangling around her face.
He's not here, I remind myself, and dancing was mine before he stole it from me. Before he made me afraid of it. But I don't have to be afraid of it anymore. I can take it back now.
By chance, the next song that comes on is one my studio had a routine for, and the choreography comes back to me like a second nature. Dancing en pointe comes back to me like a second nature. That is, until one too many pirouettes has my head spinning and nausea starts to roll through me in waves.
"Go hard or go home, right?" Josie jokes as I lean over the trashcan and fight back vomit.
Never in my entire life has a pirouette made me dizzy.
"Even watching you was making me dizzy," Kim adds with a smile. "But I'm already nauseous all the time anyways."
Right, pregnancy hormones. "Maybe I should've eased myself back into it," I laugh weakly, my head still spinning.
Unfortunately, while the spinning eventually stops, the nausea doesn't, and it gets to a point where I'm afraid to even move too fast. After apologizing to the girls, I pack up my pointe shoes and tuck them under my arm, having decided that I'll walk home to get some fresh air and hopefully curb the nausea.
The only things I've had to eat today were eggs and toast this morning and the smoothie after work – either of which could be upsetting my stomach, I suppose. I do feel better when the crisp air outside hits my face and fills my lungs, though. I focus on that as I walk, enjoying the soft wind and the moisture in the air from the ocean.
Deciding to take the long way, I circle back around to the main road in town, passing Sue's flower shop and taking a moment to smell some of the blooming flowers out front. From there, I walk to River's Edge and happen to come across Veda standing outside by the newly-replaced dock.
As I'm mentally debating if I should stop and greet her or not, she glances over her shoulder at me with those cloudy eyes and smiles. "It's been some time," she says. "You've come such a long way."
"How are you?" I ask, attempting to make conversation as I walk over to her. She still makes me nervous.
She hums and turns back to the water. "Filled with joy when I think of the new life that will be joining us," she replies, her voice far off though she's right next to me.
I smile and rest my hands on the railing of the dock. "Kim?" I ask.
"Not just Kim."
I don't press further. There are hundreds of women on this reservation who I've never even met that could be pregnant. While recently I would've envied them, I think I'm finally at a place where I can control it. I know Paul loves me unconditionally and that being able to have his baby isn't a requirement for his love and happiness. When this thing with Malcolm is over, we can focus on building our life together and creating memories – just the two of us.
Veda turns to me and smiles. "It will be over soon," she says softly with a nod. "In the meantime, ginger and peppermint should help with your nausea. Kim's trial with such simple remedies was unsuccessful, but I expect that means she will have a girl. You, maybe a boy, if they work."
"What?" I blurt gracefully, brows pulling together.
She walks off without another word, patting my shoulder as she passes and then clasping her hands casually behind her back.
"What did you mean?" I call out, but she doesn't reply. Turning back to the water, my eyes flit back and forth as I try and process what just happened. It sounded like she was suggesting that I'm…
I cautiously touch my stomach with the tips of my fingers. There's no way. I haven't had a period in years.
My heart rate increases.
But I did bleed a little in December.
I thought it was from having sex for so long the night before, but the more I think about it the less sense it makes. However, the bleeding only lasted two days, and was so light after the first few hours that I didn't even need to wear anything for it. I barely even noticed it was there. That couldn't have been… right?
Turning on my heel, I start walking in the direction of the gas station. The convenience store will have tests, and then I'll know for sure.
I find them in a miscellaneous isle next to the condoms, which I snort at.
Putting on a brave face, I hand the test over to the cashier along with a bottle of water and a ten-dollar bill. He packs them up in a brown paper bag and hands me the change, and I nearly plow through the door when leaving.
I can't get home fast enough. Even if Veda was wrong and I have to experience crushing disappointment, I need to know.
Paul is still gone when I get home. I spend a minute wondering if I should call him so we can do this together, but I don't want him to have to be disappointed too, so I decide against it.
I pull the bottle of water from the bag first and start to chug it. It makes me want to throw up a little, but I need to fill my bladder. Then, I take it along with the test into the bathroom and lock the door.
"Okay, you're fine," I tell myself, taking a deep breath as I pull the box of tests from the bag.
I read the instructions six or seven times even though they're pretty simple. Take the cap off. Put the tip of the test into the urine stream for five seconds. Lay on a flat surface and wait forty-five seconds. Two pink lines is a positive, one pink line is a negative.
Swallowing, I pull the first stick from the box and tap it anxiously against my hand before ripping open the packaging. I follow the instructions and set the test on the counter, staring at it as I wash my hands.
Two pink lines form almost instantly.
In disbelief, I still count for forty-five seconds, half-expecting the second line to disappear, but it doesn't. Both lines remain.
I look up into the mirror and pull my shirt up, turning to the side and observing my stomach. I stare long and hard, eyes tracing over the small swell in my abdomen – barely noticeable. I know it's all just bloat right now, but eventually it won't be. Eventually it'll change with my baby.
With our baby. Mine and Paul's.
We created something together without either of us knowing it – something made entirely out of love and loved so dearly already. Something that was supposed to be impossible.
I don't know, how after all this time, I still haven't learned that nothing is impossible.
I took the second test an hour later, just to be sure, and when both lines popped up again, I cried. I cried big, ugly, happy tears. And then I washed my face, put some makeup on, and ran to the kitchen to see what I could throw together for dinner.
I can hardly wait to tell Paul.
I don't care that I'm young and inexperienced and have no idea what to expect. I don't care that our relationship is still new, that there's still so many things to learn about each other. We're soulmates. Paul will be by my side the entire time. We'll learn together, and it'll be perfect because it's with him.
Paul comes home an hour later just as I've put some steak bites into a sizzling pan. Broccoli and sweet potatoes are roasting in the oven, and the house smells of rosemary and olive oil. He walks into the kitchen with a grin on his face and immediately leans in to kiss my cheek.
"It smells good," he says.
"You didn't already eat, did you?" I ask, realizing that it's later than I thought.
He opens the fridge and pulls out a Dr. Pepper, cracking it open and bringing it to his lips. "We had burgers an hour ago, but I can always eat," he replies, smirking.
I smile at him and continue cooking while he sits at the counter and watches me. It doesn't take long to finish, and after pulling the vegetables from the oven, I divide the food onto two plates and hand one over the counter to Paul.
He pats the stool next to him and I take a seat.
We chat aimlessly about our days as we eat. I leave out the important details, but tell him about breaking in my pointe shoes and walking home to enjoy the minute of semi-nice weather we had today.
When our plates are cleared, he starts the dishes and suggests I find a movie for us to watch. I hoped that telling him about the pregnancy test would be easier – that there would be a perfect moment and our conversation would somehow lead right to it – but the more time that passes, the less prepared I feel to say it. Which is silly, because I know he'll be excited. I know his face will light up and he'll sweep me up into his arms and kiss me all over and tell me he loves me. I know he won't have any doubts.
I flick through the different movie channels, reading brief descriptions and watching trailers while Paul runs upstairs to shower and change. Even after fifteen minutes of searching, nothing stands out. Nothing stands out because I know there's no way I'll be able to focus on a movie right now.
Sighing, I sink further into the couch, and then out of the corner of my eye, I see something move outside.
The lights are already dimmed, but there's still a glare against the window from it. I'm sure it's just one of the guys, so I casually get up from my seat with the excuse to turn the lights off and draw the blinds.
I don't see anything when I look out of the window again. The moon is full and bright in the dark sky, illuminating the free spaces between the trees.
"Paul?" I call out softly, eyes fixed. I can't shake the feeling that something is out there.
The shower isn't running anymore.
His footsteps carry across the floor and then down the stairs in rushed, fleeting movements. "Get down," he hisses, taking my side and lowering us to the ground below the windowsill.
My heart starts racing. "What's wrong?" I ask.
"I don't know," he replies honestly, peering through the window. "I heard something outside, and it doesn't smell right."
My heart is beating so hard I can feel it pounding in my throat. I peek above the windowsill as I try to swallow it down unsuccessfully, and Paul puts his hand on the small of my back comfortingly.
"What the fuck is that…" he mumbles as his arm curls around my waist and draws me closer, and my eyes scan through the trees before finally landing on it.
Whatever it is, its long snout is turned up into the sky, nose twitching, and it's on its hind legs. It almost looks like a large, mangy dog. Most of the hair it does have is in thin, scraggly patches on its body. And it doesn't stand right. There's something human-like about its posture – like a caveman, hunched over on its long arms.
I take a shaky breath. "What do we do?" I ask in a whisper, eyes locked on the creature with its nose still in the sky.
"Nothing, it's gonna be okay," he assures me, reaching into his pocket for his phone. He starts typing out a text when the thing's head suddenly snaps in our direction.
"It's looking at us, Paul," I whisper hurriedly, my heart slamming against my ribcage.
He drops his phone on the floor. "Get away from the window."
I nearly trip as I stagger to my feet and wedge myself in the corner of the room. Paul starts backing away from the window and I can hear the thing's feet pounding against the ground outside.
"Run, Indie!" Paul yells.
Seconds later, the thing bursts through the window and Paul phases in a flurry of shattered glass and snapping jaws. I'm rooted to where I stand, watching in horror as the scene unfolds before me. I can't tell which one is Paul. Their coloring is so similar and they're moving so quickly it looks like one giant blur tornadoing through the living room. There's snarling and yelping and the sound of teeth snapping together and furniture breaking, and it's not until they're thrown apart and start circling each other that I finally find my feet and dash outside.
Even with the moon bright in the air, once I'm in the shelter of the trees I can't see anything. There's howling everywhere and wolves thundering by me in all directions, but I just keep running. I keep running, in what I hope is the direction of Josie's, until I slam into a hard body and nearly fall from the recoil.
"Shit, what are you doing out here?" I recognize the voice, with relief, as Jacob's, though I can barely see his face.
I can't breathe. "Something attacked Paul," I tell him with a trembling voice. "I don't know what it was. What's happening?"
"There's vampires in La Push," he says, and my stomach drops. "I'm going to Sam's to ask permission for the Cullen's to come onto the reservation and help. You need to get inside right now!"
I nod, but in that moment I know this is it. This is Malcolm.
Jacob takes off and I hear the shredding of his clothes and then his paws hitting the ground. Then, he's gone just as quickly as he was suddenly there.
Nothing looks familiar in the night. The howling from every direction ringing in my ears is almost more disorienting than the dark. I twist around on my feet for a second before taking off again. Moving in any direction is better than not moving at all.
I only run for a minute or two before pain suddenly surges through my body, radiating down my left side. It's so strong that I trip and fall to the ground, my knees hitting first before the rest of my body folds over.
A branch snaps behind me and in a panic I force myself back up, only to turn and come face-to-face with a woman with fiery red eyes glowing in the low light.
She looks familiar for some reason.
Without a word, she reaches for me, and in a flash we're dodging through the trees so fast the world becomes even more of a blur around us. The pain down my side intensifies and I cry out – unable to move and unable to focus – before my vision starts to haze and everything goes black.
A/N: Tell me everything you're thinking! Tell me everything you're feeling! Leave me a review/PM if you have a minute. I love chatting with everyone! Thank you as always for reading! xx I hope to get the next chapter up in a much more timely manner. Mine had its 1st birth March 20th, and I really intended to update then, but like I said everything is INSANE right now. thank you all xxxxx