Jay stood still, unable to move, trying to process the scene in front of him. Erin and Voight were talking with obvious tension between them, neither of them looking exceptionally happy. Voight pulled Erin into a quick hug before she opened the door and stepped out into the bullpen, eyes cast downwards. Jay's heart ached when he saw that Erin's eyes and cheeks were red and puffy. Undoubtedly, she had been crying.

"Hey," he said quietly, almost a whisper, as they approached the middle of the bullpen. He wanted to touch her. He needed to. He needed to feel that soft skin on her cheeks as he wiped away the tears with the pads of his thumbs. But he didn't.

Erin's head snapped up at the sound of his voice. Her eyes widened when she saw him standing there, and she immediately turned to leave, only to be stopped by Jay's hand lightly gripping her wrist. His thumb lightly traced unrecognizable patterns into her skin, and it calmed him instantly. Why is he at work so early?

"Why are you still here?" he asked as he tried to catch her eye. He failed to hide the surprise and excitement in his voice.

Erin didn't speak, unsure of how to respond. After a few moments of silence, she turned to face him, sighing as she did. Her heart raced as she saw the confused look in his bloodshot eyes. She knew that everything that was going on was so unfair to him. He got the short end of the stick to this deal, and she couldn't help but feel heartache for him as she watched his blue eyes begin to cloud into their greener state.

"I missed my flight. I just came in to talk to Hank about some stuff," she finally said. She smiled, trying to hide the fact that everything in her life was spiralling down. If only he knew. Maybe I should've stayed. Maybe I should've said yes. Fuck.

"Then why are you crying?" Erin glared at him, wiping the residual tears from her eyes defiantly. A slight smile flickered across his face at the snippet of his favorite version of Erin. He loved her stubborn, defiant attitude. "Erin, what's going on?" Please talk to me, don't shut me out again.

"Voight is working on figuring out a way to keep the Intelligence Unit together and potentially bringing me back," Erin admitted. He's clueless, it won't happen. Don't get your hopes up. I've hurt you enough already.

"Erin, that's amazing. Why are you crying about it?"

"I'm not crying about that. It's just been a long week. Everything is just a little bit overwhelming right now." I need you.

Jay nodded in agreement, his heart stinging slightly at the memories of the past few days, especially the memory of last night still fresh in his mind.

"Well what's your plan?" He was hoping that she would say that she's staying in Chicago, that she was going to stay for him, give their relationship one last shot. But the uncertain look on her face spoke otherwise.

"Honestly, I don't know, I'm just going to head home and get some sleep. It's been a long night, I'll see you." She turned away from him quickly, and his grasp on her arm came loose. He watched her walk down the stairs and when he heard the caged door close, his gaze fell to the floor. Please come after me, Jay. Please. I love you, I should've said yes.

He turned to face Voight's office, noticing the older man staring at him. The door was still open, an invitation for him to walk in and talk. He looked back towards the stairs, as if he was expecting her to run back to him before he took a seat at his desk, turning on his computer.

/

She made it out to her Jeep before she let go of the breath she didn't know she was holding. Tension radiated throughout her body as it consumed her, pulling her into the inevitable darkness that she knew would come for her. She hadn't expected to be in Chicago, at her district, mulling around her thoughts. She was supposed to be at her new job with the FBI, trying to make an impression, keeping her mind on her work. But she couldn't. Not after the conversation she had with Voight. And then witnessing the concern in the blue hues of the one man she ever cared about.

She put the car in drive and drove the familiar path towards her apartment, her one sanctuary. As she made her way up the stairs to the third floor, she could feel both the physical and mental exhaustion overtaking her, and she ached for her queen sized bed and her 6 pillows. I don't have the right pillow anymore.

It didn't look any different than when she left it. She didn't move any furniture or put any of her belongings in boxes. She took her few essentials, including some clothes, pictures and personal hygiene items, packed it in a suitcase and left without looking back. However, as she made her way towards her bedroom, she saw the one thing that was different. The way the bedsheets were tucked tightly under the mattress without any creases was evident that her bed was slept in last night. It was neat and tidy and all the pillows she used were placed symmetrically in rows. A smile subconsciously grazed Erin's face as she moved towards the bed, letting her fingers trail over the cotton and polyester mix of fabric.

She made a habit to sleep in the few shirts he left behind. It gave her the illusion of having some part of him there. It was the sweet smell of his Irish Spring bodywash mixed with a faint scent of his mint shampoo and conditioner. But as she laid down on top of the sheets, she knew she wouldn't have to wear one of his shirts. She could cuddle the pillows he used the night before, just as she cuddled with him for all those months before. God, I miss you.

Erin stripped into her pyjamas before she untucked the corners of the blanket. The smell she reminisced about quickly encapsulated her and pulled her into a much needed slumber, unaware of the text she received from him.

/

He sat in his desk nursing his second cup of coffee of the morning, staring at the words on his computer screen. The team around him were engrossed in their paperwork, occasionally getting distracted and goofing off. But he hadn't even moved since he sat down after returning from the break room. He could feel Voight's eyes on him, but he could care less about what his thoughts on him were at the moment. The woman he loved had missed her flight, the journey away from him, and he knew he couldn't mess up this time.

He checked his phone every 5 minutes, even though he knew she hadn't texted him. His mother's ring still followed him around, hoping that Erin would come to him and say that one word he desperately wanted to hear. It was false hope, but he would hold onto it, because it was all he had to hold on to.

After he was sure that she had made it home, and that she wasn't going to text him, he pulled up the text messages they shared. The last ones shared from last night were still there, the ones which he sent with tears clouding his vision. He quickly typed out a new message, hoping she would reply. It was short and quick and he didn't hesitate to send it before he returned to staring at his paperwork, actually putting effort into it.

I'm sorry. I love you.

/

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