Sorry for the delay!

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"Jay… we need to talk." Her voice sounded tired and by the looks of the deep bags underneath her eyes, he assumed she didn't sleep too well.

"Um, I was going to grab drinks with Will at Molly's, did you want to join us? We could talk after that?" She looked around the empty bullpen, hesitation evident in her body language. She seemed so out of place and looked so vulnerable as she picked at some thread on the hem of her shirt.

"Hey…" His voice was soft as he spoke to her, the only way he ever spoke to her. "It's okay if you don't want to, I'll just text Will and rain check."

"No! Let's go out, it'll be good." Her voice sounded rushed and she cursed herself at how jumpy she was around him. She watched him grab his jacket from the back of his chair before putting it on. He waited for her to start walking first as he followed closely behind.

They got into their respective cars and drove the familiar road to their favourite bar. Parking was hard to find. Cars were looped around the entire corner, forcing Jay and Erin to walk a couple of blocks. They never spoke, but they stood close enough for Jay's hand to occasionally graze the back of Erin's. It was driving her nuts. All she wanted to do was grab his hand and forcibly entwine their fingers together. But she couldn't. He wanted space. She asked for it too. And he was trying to get better. For her. She couldn't be selfish right now.

When they walked into the bar, Will waved them over to the table where he was sitting with Natalie. A wave of disappointment hit Erin when she saw the female doctor, knowing that her and Jay were even less likely to talk about the heavy subjects they needed to discuss. Gabby waved at them from behind the bar before grabbing two beers and bringing them over.

"On the house," she said with a smile.

"Thanks, Gabby," Jay said, taking the beers and handing one to Erin.

She nodded and headed back to the bar while Erin took a long drink of the cold liquid, hoping to relieve some of her stress. While Will and Natalie launched into some story about a patient they had saved earlier, Erin quickly drowned her beer.

"I'll be right back," she said to no one in particular, excusing herself from the conversation.

She made a beeline for the bar, sitting down on one of the barstools forcefully. Gabby saw her tight facial expression and immediately reached for a bottle of bourbon that they kept on the shelf behind her. She slid a glass half-full of the honey-coloured liquid towards Erin.

"How are things at work?" she asked as Erin quickly downed the contents of the glass.

Gabby raised her eyebrows at Erin, but didn't say anything. Instead, she poured her another glass and let Erin open up.

"He was the one who asked for space and then all of the sudden he's proposing and telling me he loves me and it just isn't fair. He can't just spring all of that on me at once and expect me to be okay! I can't keep up with him and his stupid man brain," she huffed, feeling the alcohol starting to take effect.

"That does sound frustrating, but I think maybe this is Jay's way of telling you he's done with needing space. Maybe he's ready to talk and make up?" Gabby suggested.

"I told him I wanted to talk but he already had plans to meet up with Will and then when we got here, Natalie was with Will and I don't want to talk about everything with both of them listening in. This is between me and Jay. We should figure all this out before we start getting drinks together again."

"Why don't you tell him that?" the paramedic prompted.

Erin just shook her head and finished off another glass. She knew that she'd had enough before she even started on this round, the buzzing in her mind clouding her judgement as she left herself become vulnerable. But she wasn't ready to stop. She didn't want to feel all of the emotions that swirled inside of her. All she wanted was to wrap herself up in Jay's arms and go back to when everything was okay. Back when they were happy. Back before she found out he was married. Stupid Abby and stupid Jay for marrying her.

Erin slammed the now empty glass and looked at Gabby expectantly. The brunette just shook her head and took the empty glass, placing it behind the counter.

"I think you've had enough, Erin," she said.

Frowning, Erin tried to stand, toppling over, right into Jay who had come over to check on her. His arms held her steady while she regained her balance and it took everything she had not to kiss him right then and there. The warmth of his hands was a welcoming sensation to the skin on her arms. God I missed this.

"Let's get you home," he said, grabbing her jacket and draping it over her shoulders.

Erin went to push him away, but stumbled and fell back into his arms. He helped her out of the bar and Will and Natalie waited with her while Jay pulled his car around.

"I'll follow behind in Erin's car. Natalie and I drove here together so she can just use mine and then pick me up." Will said, taking Erin's car keys.

Jay helped Erin into the car and made sure she was securely buckled in before closing the door and sliding behind the steering wheel. While Jay drove, Erin fought to keep her eyes open and the contents of her stomach inside her body. Every bump shook the alcohol inside her stomach, startling her out of her catatonic state as she tried to breathe through it.

By the time they got to her apartment, her eyes had fluttered shut and her breathing had evened out. Jay gently shook her awake and helped her to her front door, letting her bear all her weight on him. She struggled to get the key into the lock, so Jay took control, his large hand covering her small one and guiding the key.

"Let's get you changed and in bed," he said, pushing the door open and leading her inside.

Erin collapsed on the bed, much too out of it to change into pajamas. Jay smiled at the way she only took up part of the bed, even when she was stretched out. She only took up her side of the bed. He located her favorite sweatpants and one of his shirts that he had left behind. With a little bit of coaxing, Erin finally sat up and let Jay help her out of the outfit she was wearing and into the clothes he had picked out. Once she was dressed and tucked into bed, Jay went to the kitchen and filled a cup with water and grabbed the bottle of Advil from the bathroom cabinet. He set them on the bedside table and turned to leave.

"Stay." It was almost inaudible but she sounded so broken when she spoke the lone word. He turned and looked down at Erin. She was staring at him with wide eyes.

"Are you sure you want me to stay?" he asked, desperately hoping she would say yes. I'm ready. I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you.

She nodded her head slowly. Jay stripped off his shirt, jeans, and socks before sliding into bed next to Erin. She snuggled into him immediately, her legs tangling with his.

"You asked for space but I don't want to give you space right now. I love you too much to give you space," she mumbled, frowning slightly as her eyes closed.

Jay chuckled softly, wrapping his arms around the woman.

"I love you too."

As she fell asleep, he knew that this was a major step in the right direction for them. He just hoped that the conversation she wanted to have with him in a sober state wasn't the opposite.

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