Chapter 2:

Elain

The soil squished under her bare feet as she trudged through the newly tilled patch of earth. Fine mist hung in the air, sending trails of perspiration down the side of her dirt-ridden face. It had already been a busy day, barely noon, as Elain started her new vegetable garden out behind the house. She wiggled her toes into the fluffy soil, having discarded her shoes and gloves hours earlier to be able to feel the earth beneath her fingertips. She carefully moved the sprouts from their containers into small divots she made in the earth, driving the spokes deep into the ground next to each plant. It took a few minutes of rummaging through the box of signs to find the wooden post with a small tomato painted onto it. Feyre had asked Elain for a list of all the herbs and vegetables she was going to be planting and made markers for her garden. Elain had to hold back tears when she had accepted the gift at dinner a few nights prior.

Elain huffed and hiked the skirt of her stained dress above her knees to let her legs sink into the dirt as she moved on to the cucumber plants that would sit next to the tomatoes. Her back started to strain and she wiped a sleeve along her forehead before pushing herself up from the ground to stand back and survey the work she had done so far.

While he was extremely quiet, Elain knew the second Azriel had stepped into the back lawn of the estate. She didn't know how but she always knew when Az was nearby, she could feel his presence and it felt like sun shining on her face.

"It doesn't look like much but it will be glorious once they really start growing."

Azriel sidled up next to her, his arms crossed behind his back and wings tucked in tight. "I can already tell." He spoke quietly, his voice always sending warm hot coals into her stomach. "Everything you plant is glorious."

"You are too kind, Az. You should see the orchid in my room." Elain laughs, turning to Azriel with a wide smile on her face. She watches him quietly, the glorious half smile nudging up the sides of his mouth. She relishes the sweet calm that seemed to overtake Azriel whenever he was in her presence and she cherished the wonderful hum that filled her body when they were together. There was something about being around Azriel that made her feel utterly seen in a way that no one else seemed to. He had always been the one to reach her when she retreated deeply into herself and all she could do was hope that she gave him the same sort of reprieve.

"What brings you here today, Azriel?" Elain asks, instantly cringing at how unwelcoming the question sounded, a deep blush blooming across her cheeks and up her neck. "Not that it's not welcome, you know I love having you here - I just - is everything okay?"

A soft smile remained on Azriel's face as she fumbled for words.

"I mean - what do I owe this pleasure, dear Azriel?"

He chuckled lightly, meeting her eyes and then quickly looking away "I hadn't seen you in a while, and I'm always curious about what you're up to here." He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, shadows swirling around his wrist and coiling towards his ear.

"Well you must come more often!" She beamed, holding out a hand. "Let me show you."

His eyebrows lifted at her outstretched hand and she swore she could see a little blush creep onto his cheeks. The thought sent Elain's mind through a tailspin, Azriel's every action turned her into a pile of goo but she hardly entertained the idea that he would feel something similar. A rough hand slid into hers and Elain fought to keep the beaming smile from her face as she dragged him towards the new herb patch.

Elain watched Azriel carefully while pointing out all the different plants she had planted so far today, making sure to show him the little painted markers Feyre had made. Azriel listened intently, following where she pointed out each section, even though they all looked like measley little sprouts. He smiled and nodded encouragingly, making soft comments when she pointed out a herb or vegetable he was a fan of. She tucked that information into the back of her mind with a soft smile.

"I planted everything I could get my hands on," Elain beamed, "Even though there are some that will surely not survive in this climate. But I will try my hardest to nurture them to success."

"I'm sure it will be splendid, Elain." Azriel replied, gazing across her lush garden with a distant look in his eyes.

They stood in silence for a few minutes, drinking in the sounds of the bubbling fountain and relishing in the comforting scent of newly upturned dirt and the flowers that swayed in the breeze.

"Perhaps you can have a hothouse or greenhouse built." Azriel said, breaking the silence as Elain looked over at him in awe.

"You think?"

The excitement that coursed through her was exhilarating, she hadn't thought of all the possibilities that this new life afforded her. She would feel guilty having Feyre and Rhysand spend money on her but perhaps she could offer some vegetables and herbs for their meals in compensation.

"Or even a conservatory inside, it would be beautiful and functional and you could garden through the winter months." He added, still looking over the garden, red creeping up his neck at her staring gaze.

Elain grabbed Azriel's arm in her hands, the soft black tunic scrunching beneath her dirty palms. Her smile reflected in his warm eyes as he looked down at her beaming at him.

"That would truly be a dream, Az." Elain nodded, turning her gaze back to the garden but not letting go of his arm. The warmth of his skin radiated through her hands and down her arms, hot coals settling in her stomach as they always did when he was around. She pulled her hands away and wiped them across her dirty skirts, hiding the sweat that clung to her palms in response to the contact.

"Would you like to help me? I only have the rosemary bushes left to plant?" Elain asked, walking towards the herb patch and looking at Azriel over her shoulder. "Unless you have somewhere to be, of course."

"No -" he replied, her smile instantly faltering, "I mean - yes I would love to help, no I have nowhere to be."

She gestured for him to follow her to the other side of the patch to the small area of tilled earth that remained. The tray of small rosemary plants was fragrant as she kneeled down and placed it beside her. She looked up at him with a smile on her face as he lowered himself next to her.

"Have you ever planted anything before?"

"I can't say I have." He smiled, looking embarrassed.

"Well it's easy, you all give me too much credit." She beamed, unable to be unhappy in his presence. She felt more like herself when he was around than any other time.

She skipped the shovel and plowed her hands straight into the dirt, marveling at the feeling of it caked under her nails. "So we just dig out a little hole of dirt about the size of your hands cupped together," She explained, "There's a small shovel over there if you don't want to get your hands as dirty."

Azriel ignored the shovel and plunged his hands into the dirt next to her, watching her carefully with a look of utter concentration on his face. She smiled lightly at his ever serious demeanor as she pulled the dirt from the ground and pushed it into a pile next to the hole, "We will need it later to cover up the roots so don't toss it too far."

He gently laid the dirt in a pile as she had and looked to her for further instructions. Her gaze rested on his dirty hands and a smile pulled back onto her features. His shadows excitedly twisted around his hands and she wondered if they had the same personality she projected onto them. She imagined they were excited to experience something new and maybe were even trying to find out the secrets of the little worms that burrow into the dirt beneath his hands.

"I love the feeling of dirt on my hands, it's so refreshing." Elain beamed as Azriel watched her quietly. "So now we cup the roots of these rosemary bushes and carefully place them into the little divots we made."

He followed her instructions carefully, watching her before doing his own. She started down at his scarred hands as she sunk her own into the wet ground.

"Azriel"

His eyes lifted to hers and she instantly blushed, wanting to push down the question that danced at her lips.

"Do you - Can you still feel things as well with your scars?" She bit her lip, not daring to take her eyes of his so she could see the kindness in her eyes.

He looked startled, his hands shooting out of the ground and hovering in front of him as he stared at them. The shadows swirled around them, darkening and moving faster and faster as his throat bobbed with a swallow.

"I'm sorry - I just - I didnt know if this felt the same for you." She gestured to the garden in front of her, the blush on her cheeks deepening as the guilt started to flood her, "You don't have to answer, I'm sorry Az - I didn't mean -"

"I dont know -" He answered quietly, too quietly, his hands still hovering in front of him.

Elain tentatively reached out and grabbed one in her own, pivoting her body towards him. "I'm sorry Az, I shouldn't asked, it was rude of me."

"No." He breathed, his eyes still not reaching hers. Guilt twisted horribly in her gut. She had done it, had finally done something to push him away just enough that she feared he would never come back. He would never kneel in the garden next to her again and freely share smiles and stories with her.

"I don't remember." He said, his throat bobbing visibly as she stared at him. Her breath caught in her throat and she nodded vigorously before he continued, "I don't remember what it was like before."

"Take your shoes off." Elain demanded, standing up and releasing his hand. He finally turned to her, his eyes dark as curiousity shot his eyebrow up. "Come on, Az. Take your shoes off."

He looked at her apprehensively as she pasted a smirk on her face and crossed her arms. Inside she was battling with herself, how could she have been so stupid, pushed him to talk about the one thing that obviously affected him so grievously. He did as she said while stealing glances of her dirt caked bare feet. .

Azriel followed her lead as she stuck one bare foot and then the other into a patch of loose dirt in front of them. He hissed quietly as his feet sunk into the cold earth and she stifled a giggle that bubbled up her throat. Her toes wiggled enthusiastically as she looked over at his feet, squishing into the dirt.

"Isn't it glorious?" She smiled, grabbing at his hand that was closest to her. She couldn't stop herself as she laced their fingers together and her gut jumped a little.

"It's cold." He hissed through his teeth as he turned his head to look down at her. She stared into his eyes, the cold mulch at her feet and his warm hand in hers. He looked down at her and a small smile bloomed on his lips. Her heart leapt and started to beat quickly, which she was sure he could sense since the shadows started to fly faster around his neck.

It grounded her like nothing else had, standing here with him in her garden home, feet in the dirt, hand in his, sun shining on them. Elain beamed up at him, hoping she had ushered away any hard feelings he would have against her, the darkness leaving his eyes slightly as he looked upon her.

"Thank you, Azriel." She whispered, not wanting to break his stare. Thank you for being there for me, for being my friend, for making me feel like THIS. For being kind and patient and understanding me like no other.

The words caught in her throat as she looked up at him and he looked at her. And in that moment, everything felt perfect. Like it was just as it should be.