It's been two months since she lost her memory. And a month since she's been released from the hospital. Chloe had picked her up and brought her home. Well, not their home, but Aubrey's home. They decided it was better since Aubrey worked from home. That way there always was someone to keep an eye on her.
Chloe had gone back to work and her daughters had their school and other things to do. They had gone back to their normal lives. Beca didn't mind, but she really didn't feel she belonged in this life.
Every day her friends visited her. Always trying to bring back some memories for her. She liked most of them. But some of them were downright scary. That Asian woman who seemed to appear out of nowhere every time she visited her. Those two women who finished each other's sentences. The Australian woman who was loud and said the most inappropiate things. The black woman who clearly had some issues with gambling. And then you had that weird woman from Guatemala who said the weirdest things. Then the younger woman everybody referred to as Legacy.
Aubrey was clearly the leader of their group. She was nice but bossy as hell. Beca was grateful that she could stay at the womans house, but she sometimes want to strangle her. Her girlfriend Stacie was nice and all but she groped herself to much for Beca's liking. And of course, there was Chloe. The redhead who was her fiancée. But Beca didn't believe it. She couldn't picture herself with her. Somehow she couldn't believe she deserved the beautiful, perfect woman by her side.
And then there were her daughters. They seemed to be nice and well behaved girls. But she didn't feel a bond with them at all. She couldn't picture herself as a mother. And the fact that they didn't looked like her at all didn't help. Two of them tried their best to reconnect with her. But the oldest of the three avoided her.
They all did their best to include her in everything. But she couldn't help that she felt completely lost. She didn't get their inside jokes. She didn't feel like she belonged ro their group. And most of the time she felt lonely.
They had told her she was some sort of musical genius. And all of them brought her things from her past to help her define who she was, but it didn't do a thing for her. They had set up het mixing equipment, but she didn't know how to use it. Chloe even brought her some fucking yellow cup. She didn't know what she was supposed to do with it. She didn't feel like she was musical at all. Yeah she liked music when she heard it on the radio. But that was about it. She however was drawn to Aubrey's grand piano. But she couldn't play it or anything.
She kept more and more distance from everybody. She didn't want to talk to them. She didn't want to bother them. She felt like she was a burden to them, even if they assured her she wasn't. Something about being a Bella. And that it was for live or some shit like that.
It wasn't like she was unhappy or something, but she felt she didn't belong here. She felt out of place. They all had a past together. They had shared years of their lives. But she couldn't remember anything about it. She didn't recognize herself in that life. And that thought depressed her. She got more and more the feeling they be better off without her. Maybe she just have to start over. Leave everything behind and try to find herself.
The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to go through with her plan. Leaving in the middle of the night with an note to explain everything would be best she reasoned. It would be better for everybody if she just left.
She started to plan her exit with precision. How would she do it? The problem was of course that she didn't have any memories of who she was. She hadn't any money. She was sure she had an bank account. But she didn't know which bank she had. Luckily she had her passport. And she would be needing that she figured.
Over the days she collected her clothes. She had the bag from when she left the hospital. It wasn't a big bag, but for now it would do. When she was sure she had enough clothes for a while, she packed them. She only had to write her goodbye letter and then she was ready to go.
She never imagined that writing a goodbye letter to people she didn't know would be so hard. She maybe didn't know them anymore, for the past two months they had been her world. So she kept it simple and not to personal. She thanked them for everyting and wished them the best.
Tonight was the night. She waited till everybody was asleep. She dressed herself and grabbed her bag. She placed her letter on the kitchen table and left the house. She looked back on time and then disappeared in the night.