When I woke up that morning I walked to the kitchen for my morning coffee. And that's when my eyes caught the letter on my kitchen table. I was pretty sure that it hadn't been there when I got to bed last night. I walked over to the table to look at it. I immediately recognized Beca's neat handwriting. It simply said 'Bella's' and my heart started to pound in my chest.

The letter said only thank you for everyting and take care of yourself. Three simple lines and that's all. With the letter still in my hand, I rushed over to Beca's room. As I suspected her room was empty. The bed neatly made.

"Fuck!" I said loudly to myself. This was aca unbelievable. Chloe would flip her shit when she would find out that Beca was gone. The triplets would freak out when they learned that their mother had left them.

I need to do damage control, so I rushed back to my bedroom.

"Stacie wake up!" I practically yelled.

"What the fuck, Bree! It's way to early for me to wake up" she said sleepily.

"Beca is gone."

My words woke her up instantly. She looked at me with disbelief.

"What do you mean with gone?"

"Exactly what I said. She left a letter."

I gave her the letter I still had in my hand, so she could see it with her own eyes.

"Fuck! Does Chloe already know?" she asked me.

"No, Chloe doesn't know. I went straight to you after checking Beca's room."

"Now what?" she said.

"I don't know Stace. But I don't want the triplets find out their mother is gone" I said.

After Stacie got dressed, we both went downstairs and acted normal. We waited for the triplets to get to school before we would talk to Chloe. But she knew us so well that she knew something was wrong.

"Are you going to tell me what is wrong? You can fool our baby Bella's, but not me" Chloe said to us.

"Chloe, Beca left last night" I said while I gave her the letter.

She read the three simple lines and then I saw that look in her eyes. It was the same hurted look as sixteen years ago when Beca left. It broke my heart, and I vowed to myself that I would do absolutely anything to get Beca back. And possibly kill her when I got her in my hands.

"What are we going to do now Bree? Chloe asked me with tears in her eyes.

"I don't know honey. Maybe we should text the Bella's, so that they can look for her" I suggested.

"That is a good start" Stacie said and got her phone and sent out a message to their friends.

I don't know what I was thinking. It looked like a good idea to leave everything behind and start over. But in reality it was the worst idea ever. The night was cold, and I didn't know where to go. This fucking memory loss. I didn't know anybody and didn't know my way in this city. I kept walking with my bag until I was so tired that I needed to find some place to rest.

I didn't know where I was exactly, but I saw that I ended up in a park. I put my bag on one of the benches and I lay down. Using my bag as a pillow. I was afraid to actually sleep but I just lying there gave me some rest.

"I was exhausted. Taking care of three new born infants was more than I could handle. The endless pile of diapers , laundry and bottles drove me crazy. When two of them were asleep, the third would start crying, waking up the other two."

"It wasn't easy to chase after three toddlers, when you were the only one who was responsible for them. And they were smart. One of them could already read. The other one was as sweet as they come. And the third one was a master of unlocking locks. I was doing laundry when I noticed it was to quiet. Having triplets meant it was never quiet in the house. I almost got an heart attack when I saw her opening the baby gates. Before I could reach her she fell from the stairs. I immediately ran down to check on her. But luckily she wasn't harmed. A bruise already forming on her forehead."

"Somehow I had managed to keep them alive. I didn't know how I did it. And today they were going to school for the first time. I was proud and sad at the same time. It seemed like yesterday that I brought them home from the hospital. They sat in their class with huge grins on their faces, but when I looked at them I saw the tiny babies they once were."

I must have fell asleep, because someone was shaking me. Still groggy from that weird dream I opened my eyes.

"Beca, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at Aubrey's and why do you have a bag with you?" a man asked me.

I looked confused at him. I didn't know who he was. But he seemed to know me.

"Excuse me, but do I know you?" I asked him.

"My name is Bumper Allen. I'm Fat Amy's husband. We used to go to the same college" he said to me.

"Have you any idea how worried everybody is? How can you leave your children? How could you leave Chloe?" he asked me.

He didn't sound angry, just curious.

"I have my reasons" I mumbled. "Please, don't tell them you found me. I don't want to be a burden to them" I said softly.

You aren't a burden to them. Don't you know how much they love you? All the Bella's and Treblemakers who live here are looking for you right now. You and I aren't exactly friends, but my wife is worried about you. Just like the rest of them" he said.

I wanted to go, I didn't want to have this conversation as I already felt guilty. Guilty of all the trouble I caused. Guilty for leaving my kids behind, even if I didn't remember them. Guilty for leaving Chloe. Guilty for being such an ungrateful person. They all showed me love and did everything for me.

"Rebecca Elisabeth Mitchell! What the hell where you thinking!"

A very angry Chloe stood before me.

"Thank you Bumper, for your text' she said turning around to him.

'Anytime Chloe, but I have to go" he said and he turned around and walked away.

I was now alone with an very angry redhead. Chloe hugged me and then smacked me.

"What the hell Becs. What the hell were you thinking? How could you leave like that? How could you leave your children?" she asked me with tears in her eyes.

I looked her in the eyes and a familiar feeling came over me. I didn't know exactly what it was, but I had a feeling this happened before.

"I'm so sorry Chlo" I said. "I didn't want to be a burden to all of you. This whole memory loss frustrates me. All of you doing so much for me. But I don't feel like I belong here. I see how my daughter avoids me. I don't get the inside jokes. And it honestly is overwhelming. I get that you all try to give me back my memories, but it doesn't. I feel lonely and half of those girls scare the shit out of me" I said to her.

And for the first time in two months I felt relieved to get all my feelings out. I felt weird about talking about how I felt. But for some reason talking to Chloe felt comfortable. It felt like this was something I used to do.

Chloe just hugged me after my words.

"Oh Becs, I wished you had told me earlier how you felt. Then we could have done something to prevent this."

We sat there for a while. Each of us lost in our own thoughts.

"Come we have to get back home. There are a lot of girls waiting for your return."

I grabbed Chloe's hand and followed her. On our way home that dream kept going to my head. Was it a memory?