Chapter 18: Freaking Friday
IF hit the ground, landing on her (or rather, Linda's) butt.
RED stomped up to Linda. "You keep your hands off of my wifey!"
"Please, no fighting!", Compa cried out.
"Everyone calm down!", Nisa shouted, "Let's just talk this out and resolve this peacefully."
"What's there to talk about? Once we switch bodies back, that'll be the end of this", IF sighed.
"I'd agree with that if I didn't keep running into you", Linda growled, "How the hell does that even happen?"
"Didn't you literally follow us to Leanbox?", IF replied.
"Like hell I did! All I did was put on a disguise to get through. I was already headed to Leanbox in the first place", Linda said.
IF pushed herself off the ground. "Oh yeah? And why did you even come to Leanbox in the first place?"
Linda was taken aback by the question."W-well, I…"
"You came here to be a crook, that's what!", IF said, "Getting paid to steal stuff doesn't make it okay!"
Linda glared at IF. "And what're you gonna do? Arrest me? In your body?"
"Oh snap!", RED blurted out.
"She makes a good point, Iffy…", Compa replied.
Nisa pointed her finger at Linda. "You're a fool if you think you can evade justice forever!"
"You better watch your mouth, penguin girl! I could easily go on a crime spree and get a bounty on her head!", Linda barked back.
"Says the girl in a mouse outfit…", IF mumbled. She looked over to Linda. "I could just turn myself in with your body."
"Then you'd be the one in a cell. I have no problem running around with your mug on, you know. I already did it before", Linda replied.
"We won't let you get away with it!", RED called out.
Everyone fell silent. "I guess we're at a stalemate, then", Nisa spoke up.
"I guess all we can do now is wait for MAGES. to figure out how to fix this", IF sighed.
"To hell with that!", Linda growled. She turned around and started walking.
"Where do you think you're going?", IF called out.
"I'm gonna get that hat-wearing weirdo to fix this crap!", Linda replied.
"What if she hasn't fixed her device yet?", IF said.
"Then I'll beat it out of her!" Linda snapped.
"Hey now! There's no need to go that far over this!", Nisa called out.
"She… she started running", Compa said.
"I'll get her!", RED spoke up. The redhead began to give chase. She sprinted forward a few feet before beginning to use the skates on her slippers to skate after Linda. Despite this, Linda was still able to maintain a considerable amount of distance between herself and RED.
"After them!", Nisa said, before chasing after them herself. IF and Compa looked at each other before giving chase.
As Linda continued to run, she was able to gain speed as the road began to go down a hill. A grin spread across her face, until she noticed something speed past her.
"W-what the hell?!", Linda muttered. None other than RED herself had picked up even more speed thanks to her skates, and as a result was able to overtake Linda quite easily.
"Stop right theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere…!", RED called out as she passed Linda. Unfortunately for her, she gained too much speed, and zoomed way past her target. Linda grit her teeth before starting to slow down. She turned back and saw Nisa basically flying down the road towards her.
"Justice KICK!", Nisa cried out. Had Linda not looked behind her, she would have indeed fallen victim to the heroine's attack. Just in the knick of time, she was able to evade it. Nisa landed further down the hill, and was now blocking the way. Linda began to run across the street, causing a car to swerve aside and honk its horn.
Nisa gave chase on her side of the sidewalk, now running parallel to Linda. The delinquent shoved a hands into IF's coat pockets, searching for something she could use to her advantage.
"Damn it! This broad's got nothing useful on her!", Linda thought to herself. Suddenly, something hit the pavement in front of her, causing her to stop dead in her tracks. She glanced behind her and noticed someone pointing a rather large syringe at her. Linda grit her teeth. "That's… that ditzy bimbo!"
"Pew, pew pew!", Compa cried as she fired what appeared to be pellets from her giant syringe.
IF pulled up her sleeves before turning to Compa. "Don't stop firing... This body can take a hit!"
"Leave it to me!", Compa replied. With that, IF began to sprint forward towards Linda herself. The pause was long enough for Nisa to safely cross the street (after responsibly looking both ways first, of course), creating a pincer maneuver around Linda.
As they drew closer, Linda desperately scrambled to find a way out of her conundrum while dodging Compa's fire. She shoved her hands into IF's pockets once more, and managed to grip something as IF and Nisa approached her. She grinned devilishly as they drew closer, waiting for just the right time to pull out her trump card with her oversized sleeves. Once the time was right, she pulled out a pink object that caused IF to stop dead in her tracks.
"S-stop!", IF cried out. Nisa stopped in her tracks with a confused look on her face. Compa continued firing, which caused IF to put herself in her line of fire to block Compa's attacks. IF grit her teeth as she withstood the attacks with her arms spread out as if to hug the air.
Linda looked at IF in shock. "You're going this far… over a phone?!"
Nisa gave IF a thumbs up. "I salute your dedication!"
IF winced back at her. "Grab it!" Nisa nodded with determination and took a step towards Linda.
"Don't come any closer!", Linda shouted, "Or the chick's phone gets it!" Nisa froze in place, not moving another inch. Linda grinned. "Yeah, that's right… nobody try any funny business." She looked up past IF, directly at Compa. "Tell your friend to stop shooting."
"Compa… s-stop shooting!", IF cried out.
The nurse obeyed, and ceased fire. Linda began to chuckle. "See you later, suckers!" She turned around and began running down the hill, patting Nisa on her shoulder as she passed her with a smug look on her face.
Suddenly, a golden serpent-like object shot through the air directly towards Linda and wrapped itself around her, entrapping her in its grasp. "W-what the hell?!"
"From the depths of the unexpected…", RED's voice could be heard from further down the hill, "...Royal Emperor Dragon emerges to help my wifey!"
"D-damn kid! Get this thing off me!", Linda growled.
"Not so smug now, huh?", IF called out.
"Gr… raaagh!", Linda growled. RED's golden companion squeezed Linda even further, causing her to lose her grip on IF's phone. IF walked forward and picked it up from the ground, dusting it off before inspecting it for any damage.
"Damn it… how the hell did I lose to a bunch of broads like you?!", Linda said.
"It's pretty simple, really. For starters, we outnumber you. We worked together to stop you", IF replied, "If you were part of a party, then maybe things would've gone differently." Everyone regrouped and was now standing around the captured girl.
Compa turned to IF. "Iffy, are you okay?"
IF nodded. "It hurt, but it was worth it." She put a hand on her hip and smiled. "I didn't know you could shoot out of that thing!"
Compa chuckled. "A girl has to keep some secrets, you know?"
IF faced Linda. "How about we go see MAGES. and check if she's figured this whole thing out yet. Without trying to beat her up, of course. RED, don't let her get away."
"Aye aye!", RED nodded.
Nisa sighed to herself. "I wish I could have been more useful…"
"It's fine, Nisa. She pulled a real fast one on us", IF replied.
"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for this meddling kid, and her friggin' dragon thing..." Linda grumbled.
After contacting MAGES., they agreed to meet at the electronics store. When they arrived, MAGES. awaited them outside.
The sorceress greeted them with a nod. "Greetings, associates. I'm proud to reveal that I have come up with a solution for your conundrum." She gave a passing glance to IF's party before crossing her arms. "...However, due to the powers that be, we must be swift in our procedure."
"In other words, we have to hurry up before security notices us tampering with the merchandise…", Nisa said.
MAGES. adjusted her tie and cleared her throat. "...I'm positive this will work. Worst case scenario, everyone in a five block radius switches bodies with each other."
"B-but that won't happen, right?", Nisa replied. "...Right?"
"Let us make haste", MAGES. declared. They all frolicked into the store, where MAGES. proceeded to assemble several things together to create her device. When she was complete, she turned to IF's party. "It is complete. Behold, the FGL-07 mark 2!" The device appeared to be a mere microwave with two helmets connected to it
"It looks the same as the last one", IF commented.
"Indeed, it is similar to the previous version. However…", MAGES. opened the microwave to reveal it's contents. "The secret ingredient is chicken tenders."
"Makes sense to me!", RED nodded with a wide smile on her face.
"Well… who am I to question it?", Nisa shrugged.
MAGES. looked around anxiously. "...Let's do this quickly."
IF stepped forward and placed one of the helmets onto her (borrowed) head while RED placed the remaining one onto Linda.
"I could've done that myself, you know", Linda grumbled, "I'm not a fan of staying in someone else's body, either."
RED stretched her hand out, and her golden dragon let go of Linda and crawled back onto herself. Linda stretched her newly freed limbs to get herself comfortable and readjusted the helmet on her head.
"If you're both ready, I'll initiate the transfer sequence", MAGES. said. She set the microwave to sixty seconds, and hit the start button. As the timer counted down, everything around them began to shake, and the device began to emanate electricity.
"Is is supposed to be doing that?", RED asked.
"A tad unexpected… but it should be just fine", MAGES. replied.
Products around them began to shake, and the electricity became more erratic as the clock continued to tick on. IF and Linda grit their teeth and placed their hands onto their helmets as they braced themselves. Nisa was focused on holding onto things on the nearby shelves so they didn't fall over onto the ground.
"What's going on here?!", a voice called out. A security guard stomped through the aisle and was headed right to the scene of the crime.
"We can't stop the transfer. We need more time!", MAGES. said, "We need to stall until it's complete!"
Nisa immediately sprung into action, and tried to halt the security guard's advance. "Nothing going on here, sir! You must be seeing things!" The guard looked right past Nisa and directly towards the commotion.
"Do you think I'm blind?! You girls need to cut this out, now!", the guard announced. He marched past Nisa and drew closer and closer to the group.
Compa stepped up and tried to halt the guard. "Mr. guard, please just give us another minute!", she pleaded.
"Well, I guess it wouldn't hur- wait, no! You can't do… whatever you're doing… here!", the guard replied.
"Can't you make an exception, just this once?", Compa said. She looked at the guard with puppy dog eyes in an attempt to win him over.
"I… well…", the guard began to stutter, completely (and ironically) caught off guard. The clock continued to count down, with the environment only becoming more and more violent. The guard snapped out of his trance and shoved his way around Compa to approach the device.
"I'm not losing my job over some girls trying to go on a science adventure with store merchandise! You need to cut this this out, right now!", the guard ordered. RED was the last person able to put herself between the guard and the device.
"Don't move another step, gramps. I won't let you touch my wifey!", RED said to the guard.
The guard glanced down at RED and stared at her for a few seconds. "Not now, little girl. I have a job to do!"
"Hey! Don't ignore me!", RED pouted. The guard tried going around her, but RED wasn't about to give up so easily. The redhead stretched her arms out and wrapped them around the guard, holding at tight as she could to halt his advance. Her attack worked, as the guard immediately stopped moving. The man gulped nervously as he felt the girl rub against him. He was able to feel something soft and squishy pushing itself against his back.
"L-let go of me! I… I could get arrested for this!", the guard blurted out. MAGES. tipped her hat at RED before turning back to the device.
MAGES. began to mutter the numbers as they counted down. Once the counter finally reached zero, a bright flash filled the area, causing everyone to shield their eyes. After a few seconds, the light died down. The sorceress looked at her own hands and exhaled with relief. She then turned around and looked at IF and Compa before asking the obvious. "...Did it work?"
IF raised her hands up to look at them, and found relief when she felt her oversized sleeves slide down her to her elbows. She immediately looked over to Linda, who was looking back at her.
"Well whaddya know… that thing actually worked", Linda said. She and IF took off their helmets and placed it back where they belonged. From behind them, they heard the security guard call out after breaking free from RED's grasp.
"No more playing around. You girls need to get out of here!", the guard announced.
MAGES. opened the microwave and took out the tray of chicken tenders she had placed inside. "We were just leaving. Come, let's leave this realm", MAGES. muttered before beginning to leave. IF and Linda followed her out as they walked past the security guard.
Before following them, RED faced the guard. "Don't you dare get any funny ideas, gramps!", she said. She then proceeded to walk away in a huff.
The guard turned around as the group made their leave, then sighed to himself. "I don't get paid enough to deal with this…"
The group exited the store without a hussle, and was now standing outside of it. IF checked her own pockets to make sure everything was in order. After confirming it's contents, she turned to Linda. "I think you have my phone."
Linda checked her pockets and found exactly what IF was looking for. She shrugged and handed it over to its rightful owner.
"Unless you have another request, I'll be taking my leave", MAGES. announced.
"Thank you for helping us!", Nisa said with a thumbs up.
MAGES. turned around and began to walk away while snacking on the remaining chicken tenders. IF watched her leave before turning to look at Linda.
"I know you're not interested in joining us, so you're free to go", IF muttered.
Linda shoved her hands inside the pockets of her hoodie. She turned around to leave, but looked back towards the group.
"How about you join us instead?", Linda said, "Elsa would be paying you guys."
IF shook her head. "Who knows what kind of dirty work she'd make us do. If you were willing to outright steal my bike, who knows what other stuff she'd have done for her?"
"We could report you to the authorities, you know!", Nisa added.
Linda chuckled. "Good luck with that, broads." She placed her hands on the back of her head as she made her leave.
"I pray that one day, she'll see the error of her ways and repent for her sins", Nisa said as she crossed her arms.
"She seemed pretty mean…", Compa replied.
"If she weren't so rotten, I wouldn't mind having her as a cute, punk-ish wifey", RED added.
"Eh, with the way this past week has been going, odds are we'll run into her again", IF sighed. As if on queue, IF received a phone call. She looked down onto her phone to look at the number that was calling her, only for it to be labeled "Unknown". She picked up the phone and said "Hello?"
"Greetings, IF. This is R. Please return to the guild at your earliest convenience", the voice on the phone said.
"Gotcha. We'll be there as soon as possible", IF replied, before closing the phone. She put her phone back into her pocket and looked at her party. "R's calling us in, so let's head back to the guild now."
Everyone nodded, and they went straight to their destination.
Upon arriving, R awaited them within the guild building. She greeted them and beckoned IF's party to follow her into the conference room. Once inside, they each took at seat around a table.
"I thank you all for coming. Now, you're probably wondering why I called you back here", R said.
"You heard back from the Oracle about Athletic Enterprise's, right?", Nisa said.
R nodded. "I have an official warrant right from the Oracle for the arrest of the president of Athletic Enterprises."
CHAPTER 18... FREAKING FRIDAY... END.