This is the second chapter I uploaded today! Go back and read chapter 17 before this! Also sorry in advance for more spelling mistakes then usual.
The chapter is kind of information dense but necessary.
As always, enjoy and let me know what you think.
~Line break~
The next day saw me sleeping in, just as bored as I'd been the day before. While munching on a late lunch, I was mulling over who I could bother today. My team had broken off onto their own for now, disbanded for the duration of the tournament, no matter the fact that none of us were in the tournament as of now. We were scheduled to meet up again on training ground three in two day, once I was cleared for training again.
Naruto was probably self-training— a horrifying thought because he further reinforced all of the incorrect stances and sloppy techniques he used.
Sasuke was definitely self-training. He couldn't handle Naruto and sensei on his own without a middle ground person to be more annoyed at—me.
Sensei was…I had no idea what sensei was doing. Maybe helping old ladies with their groceries? Watering someones plants for them? Reorganizing shelves in the grocery stores for grateful and too short to reach the top shelf employees?
No, I had no idea what Kakashi sensei was doing, but when he was ready to find me he would.
Which left me wondering who to bother. Sakura had informed me that she had a in-villlage mission today but would be free in the late afternoon. Ino and Choji were busy; I had seen Shika lumber off to a quick practice with his sensei and the two of them had been there at the gates.
I wasn't really friends with most of my other classmates; I was more acquaintances, but they had been kind enough to drop of get well flowers, cards, and in Hinata's case I'd received a small fruit basket.
Mom interrupted my silent pontification. "Where had Shisui-kun been dear? I haven't seen him since before the exams began." Mom fretted. "You know that boy can't cook, he's always welcome to dinner here. Go make sure that boy is sorted for dinner. Remind him he's always welcome to come over." She ended on an order.
I inhaled deeply, looking to the heavens for patience and then let out a short puff of air. I swear to god if I didn't know any better, I would swear that the woman knew that I was—not fighting…feuding?—with Shisui.
As it was, I did know better. She was just blissfully clueless and lovably over bearing.
And also genuinely worried. Shisui really couldn't cook. Its why he ended up eating out so much; it was easier to buy a plate of fried rice then it was to figure out how to do it himself. In fact, when I broke up the locations of where we hung out, a solid fifth of the time was probably in places that sold food.
I shoved myself up from the table and grumbled a "fine!" in mom's direction, shuffling to the door. I was done with today and I had just woken up. I was going to go deal with Shisui, get over this argument with him and then go back to sleep. No more work in between. I was done for today. I opened the door to the house, grimacing at the light.
"Kage, so help me if you don't bring your dishes to the sink, you're going to be back in the hospital!" Mom raised her voice at me as I tried yet again to slip away.
"This is so bothersome." I said mournfully as I dragged myself back into the kitchen.
~linebreak~
Shisui's apartment was shared with Sasuke. Over the years, I had tried to avoid it, mostly because emo boy was a huge buzzkill when we were younger. Now that we were on a team, I had taken to avoiding it out of respect for boundaries. More often then not, I was finding that not spending every waking moment with my team was the best bonding that could be done.
Shisui's apartment was also fairly close to the compound. A happy coincidence under usual circumstances. An unfortunate one today because it left no time for me to clear my head and formulate my thoughts.
I was upset. But that was a feeling i was struggling to articulate into words.
Why exactly was I mad with Shisui? Because he didn't come visit me in the hospital? That was pretty childish…but thats essentially what it boiled down to—it was no big deal if one of the other teams hadn't visited me; we weren't that close and life is to busy to work a visit into the hospital.
But Shisui was supposed to be my best friend. I had visited him the one and only time I'd known he was in the hospital. And it wasn't like being busy was an excuse considering he'd obviously been the Anbu guarding the room.
Speaking of, what had I done to warrant a guard? Was it just because i was Sasuke's teammate?
I had just reached the landing of Shisui's floor when I stopped, drawn out of my thoughts.
As if drawn by my gaze, Shisui looked up from the key in the door, groceries uncomfortably balanced in a one arm hold. He froze like a deer in headlights. My glare intensified.
Looking nervous, he turned away from me and fumbled with the lock. I looked on unimpressed, following him into the apartment when he finally got the door open. When we entered the kitchen I saw a note on the table from Sasuke, confirming that he had indeed gone out to train. The home was otherwise quiet as Shisui quickly put away his groceries. I said nothing but was internally was squirming. I still wasn't sure how to phrase my annoyance without seeming petty and childish. In fact, part of me wondered if I was just being dramatic and should let it go.
Finally having nothing to do and therefore distract him, Shisui plopped down in the chair across the table from me. "So." He started.
I just stared at him. He chuckled weakly, holding up his hands defensively. "Yea, so I realize you're mad with me and I realize you probably expected a visit in the hospital and so I'm sorry." He a short bow from his seated position.
I twitched.
I had been trying to figure out the best way to phrase my annoyance the entire walk over here. I'd even had extra time while he was putting away groceries.
But right now, I was just gonna let the words come out as I thought them, angry and annoyed and hurt and childish.
Because this asshole had the gall to say 'sorry' and look apologetic—and mean it!— without even realizing why I was mad. I was going full emotional, angsty teen rant on him.
"You told me you would be in the village for the next month. Of course I expected you to visit me in the hospital!" My voice started at its normal volume but creeped upwards as I continued.
"And then I finally manage to stay awake for longer then 5 minutes, and what do I notice? Some stupid ass anbu not even bothering to hide his chakra signature. OH WAIT THAT WAS YOU. Not visiting me. Not saying hello. Just hiding, not saying a word!" My voice was a shout by the end. Shisui reared back, affronted and hurt.
"I—I mean whatever anbu was there— was protecting you! I couldn't just visit—" He tried to defend himself.
"BULLSHIT." I snapped, irritated. "You would've been trying harder to hide your presence if you weren't allowed to just visit me. BUT—I'm not even mad that you decided to be socially awkward and guard the hospital— which is weird cause last I saw, I wasn't the one targeted by a missing nin, but what do I know? Nothing?" I asked rhetorically going off track for a moment in my rant. "I know nothing because nobody tells me nothing and I'm just here alone with no visits and no knowledge knowing nothing!" I seethed but cut off Shisui with a swipe of my hand.
"I'm mad that you didn't come to visit me even once—just once—when I really needed to see a familiar face! Everyone, including freaking nobodies from the academy that I didn't even remember existed, sent cards and even flowers! Sakura's teammates dropped of a card! I wasn't even awake for it, and I cant remember their names for the life of me, but I have a fucking 'get well soon' card from them. Meanwhile, my best friend is no where to be seen because he's hiding in a wall somewhere!"
I felt my anger dissipating. I sighed and rolled my shoulders, letting some of my wariness drip into my voice. "Where were you Shisui? I thought I was gonna die—thought I had died for a bit there. Genuine death." I couldn't hold back the slight shudder. I hadn't been afraid of death—been there done that. But I had been afraid of dying and leaving behind so much including teammates who needed me, teammates in danger.
"And I wasn't scared to die, not really. But I feel pretty shitty once I woke up and realized I had lived after all. Because this was a wakeup call. And I guess I really needed it. But I also needed someone to turn to, to help me talk this over, to make me laugh and distract me from being serious.
"And the one person in this entire village I can always count on; the one guy who has always been there for me, all the way back to when I was what? 6? One of the people I care most about in this village—" I stressed the last sentence, looking up to meet Shisui's flat gaze.
" —didn't have the nerve to come visit me? Fill me in on whats going on? I had to find out about everything from fucking Sasuke. And we both know what a talker he is."
Shisui slumped against the chair and threw his head up to glare at the ceiling. Finally he mumbled a response.
"I didn't quite catch that." Tilting my head to look at him, I raised my eyebrow in question.
"I don't…visit people in the hospital. " He grumbled slightly louder. I kept my face blank. He sighed and continued, still not meeting my gaze. "It's just not done. At least my family never did. All the Uchiha…it was never a good thing to be in a room; it meant you messed up your mission. Or you'd failed in training somehow. You get in and out as quickly as possible."
He shrugged hopelessly. "And not to mention that we just never ended up there for a 'good' reason. Births were done at home whenever possible. Check ups were done in the home too. There was just no reason to ever hang out at a hospital. And to see one of your friends there? It was shameful. Nobody even wanted guests." He shrugged hopelessly. It was quiet as I took this in. Shisui shifted in his chair.
"Back when I was in the hospital," He began carefully. My mind jumped back to that night, unable to not conjure up a nightmare-worthy Itachi because he'd starred in quite a few night terrors. "I had no family visiting me. Not my aunt, my cousins. Nobody." He stressed the word. "Because that was what was expected. Even a potentially life threatening condition should be ignored whenever possible."
"That…is pretty awful. But it makes a lot of sense." Shisui was awkward as fuck. No way could be just be normal and get over his cultural aversion to hospitals by visiting a friend the normal way. And it was kind of rude for me to be mad about something I'd never bothered to ask him about.
And yes, he hadn't visited but instead he'd decided to volunteer to 24/7 guard duty and actively sabotage his own hiding places to subtly inform me of his presence.
Cause that was the best way to let me know he cared without actually, ya know; letting me know he cares. Fucking illogical Uchihas.
He finally looked to meet my eyes, shoving off the back of the chair and straightening up, hopeful. He had a small hopeful smile beginning on his face.
I shrugged lackadaisically "You never go to the hospital. And I've seen you looking pretty banged up after you come back from missions. I think the only time I've ever had to visit you there was…well you just said." We both sat there awkwardly remembering the night his entire family had been brutally murdered before I pushed on. "I guess it makes sense coming from you."
The teen sighed in relief. His tense posture relaxed and the ADHD moron of my best friend came through as he began over explaining the situation in a short almost unintelligible ramble.
"I'm so glad you're not mad anymore. Its just that hospitals are weird. And I hate being in them. I mean I make Sasuke go—thats one thing I never really stressed to him, he's got enough quirks as it is, no reason to avoid hospitals too! Not that it wasn't difficult for me to go for any reason. I mean, I've gotten used to it with—" he coughed mid ramble, his eyes wide.
He quickly tried to cover up his mistake. "Regular jonin approved rounds at the hospital." He stressed. "Besides, its weird to visit someone in the hospital! Isn't it better to see them once they leave, as like a congrats on not dying kind of thing? I mean—"
I raised my hands to cut off his babble. "Shisui, you're rambling. First off, I know you're in anbu, whether you confirm it or not. I think everyone in the shinobi corps knows you're in the force." He violently shook his head denying it, his hands moving in a million directions at once. He hadn't ever actually confirmed his appointment in the shadow ranks, but I had never needed to ask; I had already known. And even if i hadn't, it was obvious. And what with the hospital guarding had further cemented it; now I even knew what mask he had.
I ignored his spluttered protests and continued. "And second thing, I never said I wasn't mad at you anymore."
That made him shut up real quick. His hopeful smile drooped and he stared at me intently.
We stared at each other, implacable. We refused to break eye contact. I kept my face straight as I leaned forward in challenge. It was entirely silent as Shisui leaned back. His eyes watered slightly and I held back my smile, victory in sight.
Shisui blinked first and I grinned, victorious.
"You're so needy." He whined shoving his chair back from the table and standing up, stretching.
"It's not just a 'congrats you feel better' dinner. This is a 'you feel better and i'm an awful friend so here's the most expensive Akimichi restaurant I can find' kind of dinner." I giggled as I skipped next to him.
"And greedy!" he drawled. I snagged his arm and intertwined our elbows.
"This is gonna be the most expensive get well present you've ever bought. So learn your lesson this time and buy me flowers next time." I had no remorse.
"Next time!?" He mock glared at me, but I could see his humor returning. I just grinned back.
"My chunin exams got interrupted by a missing nin apparently dead set on kidnapping my teammate. My first mission outside of the village got upgraded to an A rank. Once is a coincidence. Twice? That's a pattern."
Shisui gaped at me. "What do you mean upgraded to an A rank?" He demanded incredulous.
I shrugged, ignoring Shisui's wide eyed gaze his door as I locked it behind us. Mom had told me to make sure Shisui had dinner. But she hadn't said anything about brining him back to our place. Loophole. I dragged Shisui down the stairs of his complex, reveling in the good weather.
"Didn't Sasuke mention it when we got back to the village? I guess I never really saw you or anything, you were in an out of the village…" I paused eying a cart selling cotton candy. It looked delicious, but I forced myself to continue towards the restaurant district. Dessert could happen later. Still on Shisui's dime—but later.
"NO! We just—You know that Sasuke doesn't say anything! About anything! Ever!" Shisui had freed his arm from mine and was waving both around wildly.
"How much have you even heard about the exams?" I sighed, looking at him expectantly. He had obviously over heard what Sasuke had told me the last ngiht. And he had probably over heard a slight bit more then just that. Most likely my recounting of the attack to my father. And general nosiness would've helped. But Sakura had had no idea that we were targeted. She had assumed it was a random, chunin exams mishap.
Shisui twitched and ran his hand through his hair distractedly. He lowered his voice. "Unofficially; a little more then what was in the reports. Officially…" He hesitated "I know that my cousin was attacked and is on heavy duty protection circuit."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh boy. I have got sooooo much to catch you up on." I snagged his arm again and continued pulling him towards my get well dinner. I was ordering the most expensive thing on the menu. Explaining all this was gonna take so much time. All because Sasuke was a little shit who lacked verbal communication skills. Bothersome.
~line break~
Shisui was over my house the next day, just after day break. I had been cleared for light physical activity starting tomorrow morning, but I insisted on beginning today. Shisui had agreed the night before to come over and help me relearn how to be a shinobi, bruises and cuts be damned. I could feel my body stiffening up from both lack of use and from scarring while in the hospital and that just wouldn't do.
We spent a good portion of the morning in companionable silence; we'd caught up on most conversation yesterday evening. Instead of talking we focused on breathing our way through all the yoga poses. As I always did whenever this activity was done, I let my body move on its own, autonomous.
In, out, in, out. I breathed through the stretches, holding them for a few minutes before pushing forward slightly till I had myself as low as I could go. I pinwheeled up so that I was resting my forearms on the ground along with my head and kept my feet straight up in the air. I huffed with the exertion, breathing hard before dropping my feet behind me and sitting up. I drew myself back into a crosslegged position and switched to a more open split. Moving my legs hurt way less then any other part of my body and I leaned into the stretch, feeling the soreness, but relishing in the stiffness. Stiffness was one of the biggest danger in healing; the longer I let it sit, the harder it was going to be to jump into training.
As the morning wore on, I jumped into more and more difficult poses, holding them longer and pushing myself further.
Instead I focused on my memories, sorting through and trying to pull out every little detail from my previous life. There was nothing new. Not really. But I liked to keep the memories fresh.
Sometimes with new knowledge came perspective on the memories from Kayla's rants and her obsessive background chatter about the television show.
I was trying to focus on Orochimaru, the snake sannin, and I felt like I was close to a connection, something about the snakes and students and something I just couldn't quite remember?—when mom interrupted Shisui and I with a call for lunch.
It would come to me.
After a short lunch, Shisui left, promising my mom he'd be over the next night for dinner with mine, Choji and Ino's family joining us. I waved goodbye to him, which he returned with a quick jaunt of a wave before he shunshin'd away faster then I could track. I followed him out of the compound at a more sedate pace and made my way out of the compound.
Instead of heading towards the hokage tower, where I was sure Shisui was going, I turned in the direction of training ground three. I had been told by sensei I was to report there with the rest of the team tomorrow morning. But for once I didn't have a burning urge to be late. Stretching out my muscles had felt amazing today and I couldn't wait to get back to being active.
I strolled slowly though the village, idly taking in the increased traffic on the roads and the business of all the vendors and stalls. The village was more crowded then I had ever seen it; excitement was clearly in the air and I heard someone calling like a news boy from my past life, declaring betting was open on the ranks.
I mentally promised myself I'd come back and lay down some money on the fights, but didn't stop. Eventually I made it to our team training ground.
Surprisingly, neither Sasuke or Naruto was present. Sasuke could make sense. He still trained on some of the Uchiha training grounds. But Naruto? I had no idea where he was.
Even more surprisingly, Sensei was here. I hadn't even been looking for him. He was standing over by the monument. I reflexively looked to where I knew my Okaa-san's name was located. She'd been added after her death had been confirmed by dad.
Sensei must have noticed me, even though I stayed a respectable distance away. When he finally turned away from the stone, his face was solemn and serious.
I nodded in greeting to him. "I didn't mean to bother you sensei."
He waved off the apology. "No bother. I was going to go find you later anyway. I wanted to talk to you before training tomorrow anyway." His face and tone had remained serious. It was a bright and sunny day and he stood with his back to the sun. I wasn't quite able to meet his gaze.
Squinting, I asked confused," What's there to talk about?"
I will admit. For someone who had literally berated Shisui the day before for his lack of tact, it was not the best way to open whatever conversation Kakashi sensei wanted to have.
We stood in silence for a few minutes, before Sensei finally relaxed a little and smiled at me, although he didn't seem any less grim.
A heavy hand came to rest on my head.
I looked at him still confused. He eye smiled at me in response. "You don't fit the brooding look."
I blinked. I had been brooding a lot in the hospital and even once i was home. But it wasn't really brooding— more like i was thinking of my future; my place on the team and how I had handled the encounter with the missing nin. It was always on the back burner of my mind, but I hadn't mentioned it aloud to anybody.
I was surprised sensei had even noticed.
Blankly, I replied, "I typically leave that to Sasuke anyway."
A small chuckle was all sensei gave in response before returning to his more serious attitude. He turned away from me and leaned back against a nearby tree. He looked out towards the forest that bordered my home."You said before that you were a support fighter."
I blinked again. This conversation was not anything like I had expected. Where was he even trying to go with this…?
"When—.?" He answered before I could finish.
"When we were escorting Tazuna, you said you were a support fighter." His face was blank. I shrugged. I didn't remember my exact phrasing, but I was sure sensei was right.
"Team 7 was attacked by a missing nin in the tower." Kakashi's voice was cool and detached. It captured my attention. His face, what I could see of it, remained impassive.
"You said you're a support ninja." He repeated firmly.
"Why did you rush at the ninja then?" His voice was so calm. Bland. He didn't tense up and never moved his eyes from off of the forest in the background. But I winced and looked away. I had expected some kind of reprimand for the tower; Sasuke and Naruto had probably heard something as well. But—ouch. This was kind of tough to hear.
I tried to explain myself. "Sasuke needed help, I had an openin—"
"You had nothing." Sensei's voice turned vicious. I I stared at him wide eyed as he turned his eye back to my face. I physically took a step back as I felt his anger. His own face is blank, but his words remained cutting.
"You're fast, I'll give you that; it probably surprised him. But what were you planning on doing then? You had nothing up your sleeve. You were quick but you didn't manage to land a hit. Even if you had, what were you planning on doing? There was nothing you could do because you don't have anything to attack with. And he knew that. You didn't live because you were a good ninja. You lived because that nin didn't feel like putting in the effort to kill you. You were hardly a fly in his eyes. That is how much of a difference you made."
I stared back at sensei and swallowed. I had no words. I just sat there waiting to wake up. Because sensei had never spoken to me like this. Not to Naruto or Sasuke either, but definitely not me either. It was…throughly unpleasant.
He turned away from me again. I got the impression that he was waiting for something from me. Something, but I didn't know what. I was still frozen on the shock that this was a nightmare that I hadn't managed to wake from.
Slowly, minute by minute, Kakashi sensei unfroze. He leaned back into a slouch against the tree. I crossed my arms, unconsciously hugging myself.
"You're coming back to train tomorrow morning. Are you feeling better yet Kage-chan?" he asked kindly. His voice back to its placid everyday politeness. "Do you need more time to recover?"
Part of me wanted to say yes. Because I hadn't exactly viewed the encounter like Kakashi had pointed it out. I was more then a little shook right now.
But…Sensei was sensei. Everything he did had a reason. And maybe I was imagining it, but I could feel sensei waiting for me to ask something, to say something. I just didn't know what.
"I… no, you were right." I spoke haltingly. "I thought I was going to die there." Sensei stayed quiet, but he had an inquisitive look so I answered his question. Faking a laugh, I continued. "I studied all that medical ninjutsu, and well…it seemed pretty touch and go in the tower. It didn't help at all. It was more useless then it was in Wave even. But that's not really what bothered me. I was thinking when I was in the hospital that I was going to ask you teach me something. Some kind of jutsu that would've helped me attack the grass nin. I was thinking maybe I could make some kind of plan so that this doesn't happen again. Because this was pretty awful." I faked another laugh, but wasn't able to hide the slightly hysterical edge to it.
"But you're right…I'm just a support ninja and I shouldn't have barged in. I just put myself in danger for no reason." I hugged myself tighter, my voice shaking slightly. I hadn't wanted to imagine Sakura being a straight support ninja. Maybe I had been projecting my own fears onto her.
Kakashi sensei dropped his hand on my head again, ruffling my hair and messing up my ponytail. It was a heavy reassuring presence and I looked up at him. I was relieved to see that he was smiling at me again.
"You know out of all the team, I was thinking you would be least likely to fall into the 'jutsu' mentality. I can't just show you a jutsu that fixes every little problem." He paused thoughtfully. "Well, I probably could but that's neither here nor there."
"Sensei I think you're being extra confusing today." Coming from me that was saying something.
"Well, you know how iWhat with the sharingan and all, I know a lot of jutsu. Like literally one for every situation. But thats not exactly a possibility for you.
"Maa, Kage-chan, I have an idea for you. For team 7 as a whole, but it is going to affect you more then anyone else." He was still smiling but I could feel the seriousness slip back into him.
I was going to get whiplash, the attitude was changing so much here.
I paused before nodding my head in agreement. Sensei motioned to the floor and we both sat down crosslegged on the ground facing each other.
"Whatever you think would be good sensei. I don't want a repeat of that tower." I really didn't. The way sensei had put it in perspective, it was a pretty terrible situaiton. I had already been treating it as a wake up call and still had missed this much.
Kakashi sensei nodded in agreement with me and then paused again. I waited a while before prodding.
"Are you going to tell me what your idea is?"
He sighed, then propped his chin on his elbow, still facing me. "I'm trying to figure out how to say this in a way that isn't going to come across as cruel. But I've never been very good with people."
"Sensei, I firmly believe you manipulate the entire village. On a near daily basis. For fun." he ignored my interruption.
"Kage do you eventually want to be a jonin?" He finally asked.
"…Of course." I tried to keep my face calm. Oh god, was he about to dump me into the genin corp? This was karma for all the shit talking I had done with Sakura.
"Kage-chan, I want you to stop your current focus of training. No more meddling in everything at once. No more medical ninjutsu. You're never going to master it on your own and you know enough for first aid. Don't waste any more time one it." I winced.
"No more senbon practice either. It doesn't suit you and the different design is going to mess with your ability with kunai and shuriken." Wide eyed I stared at him.
"No more focusing on just speed." He held up a hand to forestall any argument, but it didn't really matter because I wasn't able to speak anyway. It felt like I was in a nightmare all over again except this time I couldn't fully believe it because surely I would already have woken up?
"You had a good idea with the weights. You failed at using them once you started chakra cycling to hold them. Good for chakra practice. Bad for strength building. We're going to have to work on that. You can keep wearing them for now, but we might get rid of them all together. " I finally found my words.
"That's literally everything I have done so far to become a ninja." I choked out. I bit my lip holding back tears. "What else am I supposed to do? Shout witty one liners until my enemies burst into flames? It's not like we didn't just go over how much my taijutsu sucks." I let out the last bit as a slight wail.
Kakashi sensei finally let out a small laugh. "I'm not telling you to not practice ninja skills. I just want you find a focus." He got serious again. "Life long chunin are the ones who cant make up their minds on skills. People who decide that they want to be good at everything. You can't be a medic, a support, a front line, a speed specialist, etc. all at once. If you want to me a jonin, let me help you now before you fall into bad habits."
I nodded, my eyes still watery.
"Okay." HE clapped his hands in emphasis and then held up two fingers. "First off; I'm going to want you to start studying, but that can wait till after tomororw."
"What am I going to be studying?"
Sensei ignored me. "Second thing—" he interrupted himself "—you're going to have to be ambidextrous; are you?"
"They train you in the academy—"
He waved dismissively. "The academy was years ago, I barely remember what they teach. Any~way—" He eye smiled at me.
"Part two" He wiggled his other finger in emphasis. "I'm gonna show you how to use a sword."
"What the actual fuck sensei." I was helplessly confused. "Am I still in the hospital? Did the morphine drip malfunction? You're really not making any sense."
He looked at me, his face once again serious. I started back hopelessly confused.
"We just went over how I'm supposed to be a support role. Why would you give the support role a sword?"
"I said to stop learning medical ninjutsu and stop throwing senbons. I said to stop emphasizing just speed. I don't think I said to not use a sword."
I took that in. "But you said that I should be a support ninja!" I finally answered, flustered.
He tilted his head at me, playing confused. "When did I say that?"
"Earlier!" I shouted, agitated. " You said that…" I mentally reviewed our conversation, but sensei was already shaking his head.
"YOU said that you were a support ninja. I disagree. You have the speed and tactics to be a front line ninja. You need to pick up on the strength to be more of a heavy hitter, but a sharp enough blade will help balance that out. You also have a family technique that could tie in very well with kenjutsu. It's a potential avenue that I think suits you more then anything. I would want a mix of you using your shadow justus along with my lessons on kenjutsu. I've had it in mind since Wave, when you went up against Zabuza's clone."
Sensei was still sitting in front of me, but I was trying to piece all of this together. I was so confused. I had never felt so lost for words.
He chuckled and reached over, ruffled my hair. "I didn't think you'd be this surprised, but you haven't taken any of my hints to heart so I guess it makes sense."
I looked baffled, I'm sure, because he explained slowly. "Ever since Wave, I've tried to put you in the leadership role. I asked you what you thought of for training and positions and you agreed with my thoughts. You placed Sasuke in genjutsu training." I shook my head trying to deny it, but he wasn't wrong.
"Meanwhile, you too the role of the person who charges into battle. Sasuke helps you figure things out, but you are the one who jumps ahead. Naruto already looked to you, but Sasuke does now too. You've been deferring to him for a while now, and at first I thought it was laziness, but I guess you really didn't see it."
He shrugged as I shook my head again, still wide-eyed, thinking back to all our games of leap frog and hide seek that sensei used as training. His outside the box training method. He sighed and rolled his eye at me for not still getting it.
"Team 7 keeps Naruto as our main fighter. Sometimes he'll have to jump back and hangout or help with traps. Maybe reconnaissance and sensing. Midrange things. Usually though, he's going to be jumping into the fray. But you and Sasuke are swapped from how you seem to envision the team."
And then it clicked. Like a total light bulb moment I realized what Kakashi was saying. And it made sense. Half thoughtful, I thought aloud. "Why would you have your genjutsu and wire specialist as a mid distance fighter? It makes more sense to have them at a distance, where they're best utilized in the back." Exactly where I had place Sakura in my mental plan just the day before.
With that in mind, I thought back to the chunin exams.
And suddenly I wasn't seeing the forest in front of me, I was back in the tower.
Only half aware, I stood up, but I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings, instead I was internally mapping the fight with the sanin. Why had I charged in when I had seen an opening?
I thought back, trying to filter through the scene. There was Naruto spamming clones. There was Sasuke trying to desperately fight back. And there was I standing and watching for an opening.
Playing at being support I realized; because a real support ninja, someone like Ino, would have used a shuriken or a kunai. Maybe attached an exploding tag and called it a day. I should have been looking for cover. I should have been trying to slip away and get help or to lay down some genjutsu.
But I had launched myself into the fray. It had been an unconscious decision. Step in and help my teammates. It hadn't been much of a plan, but I realized that our training had set it up. It was what I had been doing for weeks now; searching for gaps in Kakashi's defenses and jumping in when Sasuke and Naruto gave me an opening. It made it seem like the natural idea. Where else would I go but jump right in front of the grass nin and….
I froze where I was standing. I was a few feet from the monument and I could feel Kakashi gaze on my back, but in my minds eye I was watching the grass nin —The snake— move to attack me. It was like slow motion as I relived the moment.
I had the speed. I had known that. I had been bragging about my speed for years. But it was pretty useless. No. It wasn't speed that was important here. I could have died even if I had been as fast as Shisui. More importantly then speed, I had jumped in, under her (His) guard, not once, but twice. I had the timing. I definitely had the timing down. Kakashi had been training the team on the maneuver for weeks, and subconsciously it had stuck.
I continued the mental play-by-play. I mimed a sword in my hand and imagine stabbing the ninja. But I tried to imagine it like Kakashi sensei's description. Flinging a shadow tendril out to grab her arm; slow down her slice, sliding a sword forward and under her ribs…it was..sublime.
I turned to Kakashi sensei, mouth slightly agape. "It's perfect. Genius."
He chucked and ruffled my hair. "I used to be called that a lot." he said thoughtfully. I shook my head.
"No, really! It's incredibly well thought out. I feel like I should've seen it from our training. It feels so obvious now. It's been my go to role in the really have been setting this up since after Wave. Maybe during it to even." I stopped gushing and shook my head in wonder. I was so glad to have been given Kakashi as a Jonin sensei.
"I think I love you sensei." I said seriously.
He burst out a quick laugh before controlling himself.
"Maa, my cute little genin is confessing? I hear you're saying that to everyone on the team these days, so I don't feel very special."
It took a moment to process, but when I lunched myself at sensei in fury, he just shunshin'd away.
~linebreak~
When I showed up to training ground three the next day, I greeted my teammates but didn't mention my conversation with sensei from the day before. I hadn't mentioned it to anyone really, not even dad who would've been curious about the direction.
It wasn't done. Nara were never front line fighters. This was going to be an interesting social experiment to say the least.
The three of us waited in near silence for almost the entire morning before sensei poofed into the field, informed us we were leaving for a B rank mission in two hours, pack for fire country, and expect a 3 days trip at most. Then he poofed away.
Sasuke let out a shout of pure rage; clearly he was stressed out if sensei's normal routine bugged him this much. Naruto looked betrayed at having waited literal hours for a two second message.
I sighed in happiness that the dynamic of our team hadn't changed with yet another near death experience and sensei's talk with me yesterday. I was growing attached to these idiots.
I walked Sasuke home, neither of us saying anything in particular. While Sasuke stormed into his house in a flurry, ready to pack, I called out for Shisui, asking for his help packing. He obliged and grabbed my arm, shunshin-ing us to the Nara compound gate. I threw my arms out, holding my stance as the world around me spun. Shisui laughed at my nausea, dragging me into the house.
Although I had complained about his packing tips before Wave, I acknowledged that it had all been solid advice, doomsday prepare amount of ration bars and all.
We chatted through the packing, because having been feuding for a few weeks, there felt like so much to catch up on.
Shisui didn't even seem to notice he was basically packing my bag on his own. I sat on my bed crosslegged folding and stuffing anything he handed me into the bag while he flitted around my room and finished telling me about his most recent mission to the land of Tea. It had been an extended mission and though I'd seen him since he returned, we hadn't really had a chance to talk because of the exams.
I interrupted him to hold up the latest item to pack, quirking a brow at him in question.
He snatched it back, flushing. "It could be helpful." He defended stubbornly, but he obediently went to place the arm guards back on my shelf.
I laughed and groaned at the same time. "I know your used to much more intense missions, but this is a b rank that sensei okayed for his still recovering team. I'm sure I don't need to be as well prepared as you need to be for your S rank secret missions."
As always, he clammed up when I mentioned S rank missions, but after he fumbled to transition from the taboo topic, he jumped right back into his packing and his story telling.
"And then the merchant group finally told us that it wasn't just one village after them, but two maybe even three mercenary groups were on their tail! Can you believe it?"
I shook my head. Honestly, considering how bad Wave could have gone, I was pretty shocked with how Shisui made this seem like it was just bad luck and not something worse.
He shook his head in bemused amazement, as if misranking a mission was no big deal. For him, it probably was a normal occurrence. He continued. "So of course we had to send a bird back to the village and let them know what was happening exactly. But in the meantime of waiting to see if orders were going to change, we couldn't just let the merchants die." He paused here thoughtfully, before spinning over to a shelf and grabbing my pack of cards that I had brought with me into the forest of death and Wave. "Well I guess I could have." He amended, after some thought.
"And why's that? Mission leader surely would've been mad at you for just letting the clients die." I tilted my head confused.
He laughed and bopped my head with the cards. "Who do you think I am? I was the mission leader. Well….sort of anyway. It was listed as a newer jonin, Yugao, but that was more because she needed experience leading. Once it was upgraded, she kind passed it off to me because I was the most senior on the team. Not a bad leap in logic; the upgraded scroll from the village put me in charge over her afterwards anyway. She just set it up before the village confirmed it."
I hummed thoughtfully, impressed with him. It was hard to remember that my friend was an elite ninja in the village. He probably had a scary ninja persona and all. It was just hard for me to picture.
"You know sometimes I forget." He turned to look at me questioningly. He had been gazing around my room looking for things to pack on my 3 day long mission, but there didn't seem to be much left in my room that hadn't already made it into my pack.
"I forget that you're…" I struggled to find the words. "…well you! I mean I know you're a jonin badass ANBU whatever." His eyes went wide and arms were already waving in protest. He looked like he was gonna interrupt me, but I cut him off. "but like I know you're like that now. Its hard to remember that when you were just a little older then me, you were already a jonin. Of course you had the most experience in the team—you've been a jonin forever now!" I frowned thoughtfully. " Meanwhile, here I am, forever a genin."
I was just slightly bitter my team hadn't been given a chance to enter the third round of the exams. We had crushed the first two. But I sighed, ignoring the upset.
Shisui had a quiet frown on his face. He looked at me, have even more serious then Kakashi sensei's had been the day before.
"Being a jonin isn't always the most fun thing around. I think sometimes…" He hesitated before he continued, "Maybe its better that you don't need to be rushed up the levels. Certainly its less jarring to be introduced to things slowly."
By things, he meant murder and other depravity. But ninja typically danced around actually saying what we did as it was polite. I rolled my eyes at Shisui.
"Yea yea, I know." I glanced around my empty room. "Do you think I'm ready to run away from home now? I have literally everything I own on my back."
I shrugged the pack onto my shoulders, groaning at the weight and cycling chakra into my legs in anticipation of the workout. Shisui sniggered at me and led me out of the house towards the village gates.