Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.
A/N: As the session is drawing to an end I am caught up in all the studies, tests and exams. That sounds too much like an excuse so I'll try to put up the next chapter sooner. Sorry for being a sucky updater. Hope Y'all are having a good day :)
Kid-Kun: The main characters will be coming around soon enough. Thankyou. Even though it is a late update I hope you still enjoy :)
Ness Rosethorn: Well I have to say that I am extremely flattered. I hope you continue to enjoy the story and all the (many) places Lanette goes to!
Winniefawn: Thank you so much for your constant support! Have to say that I appreciate it a lot. Enjoy this chapter as well!
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HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY! R&R.
Chapter 17: Back Again.
"Pardon my intrusion, Lady Lanette." Gilwen's voice floated over the loud rhythmic clangour of the hooves as the caravan drifted over the Northern lands of Rohan.
"I find it questionable, that a lady of such a station as you would not have a companion so late in her years. A lady as beautiful and accomplished that is."
The green fields drifted past us, the faint rays of the sun illuminating the grass in a golden hue. My eyes narrowed at her piteous attempt to gauge at an answer from me with misplaced flattery. 'Accomplished?' I felt my insides quench with contempt. By this supposed influence she meant my station at Lord Dervorin's house. Would she still think me accomplished if she realises that I was a surgeon back home, not a lady to be waited upon? That I did my job, earned my keep, did my chores and lived in an independent apartment far from a male protector? I kept my gaze focused on the venture and tried to shake off any sense of disdain before turning to reply to her, my face carefully deferential. It was surprising how my year worth of stay in Middle Earth had helped me learn the cunning art of con which the rest twenty-seven years had not taught me. I tilted my head to a side, staring into her hazel orbs, my own brown ones hard in their essence. I gave a light chuckle a moment later, uttering a small 'I guess so' before turning to my previous hobby. With a slight sense of amusement, I took in the incredulous frown marring her doll-like face at my dismissal of her words. I paid her no more heed as she turned to whisper furiously, gossiping with her friend Oýna, her previously honeyed tone shifting to scath. Pretending to not mind the abusive words she said as they should have not reached my ears had I not been sitting in the small cart with her. Barely stopping myself from calling her out on her hypocrisy I frowned when she warned Oýna against my intentions for I had done nothing, yet, to validate it. My hesitant friendship with the males of our company did nothing but to fuel the misplaced scorn, and I sighed in disappointment at the young women of this era and world. I should not have judged before, after all I lived in the twenty-first century and it was quite an time for liberation, but seeing the marriage, money and power fixed dementia of most young Ladies it was no wonder that I found it far easier to befriend the males in this world.
I looked at the backs of Melvig, and Gilliard as the rode in front atop their war stallions. Or maybe that view of mine was also inapt due to Èohere. Even through the sceptical friendship, I could feel the reservations and discomfort radiating from them in my presence. My brow furrowed as I remembered the dinner from a week back when I was bold and uncaring enough to give my opinion of war and bloodshed, which in my observation hung as a heavy worry in the back of their minds and the pits of their hearts for not even a fool could deny the growing shadow of death and decay across the lands, and the surprised if not irate expressions of the three men that had followed my intrusion in their speeches of gal and glory did nothing but to fuel my disappointment. My desire of leaving this wretched place became much more magnified that ever before.
Later that night I sat awake in the cart, my eyes closed in an attempt to feign sleep as I focused on the periodic breathing of the sleeping girls in an effort to do so myself. After an hour worth of attempt, I gave up and stood, to leave the cart. I moved with caution as to not disturb the sleeping girls, although I knew that I needn't worry because nearly a month in their presence was enough to know that even a storm would have difficulty shaking them awake from their slumber. As I stepped out of the cart, my ridding boots, another cause of ridicule in these times, made a click with the wooden step of the cart and I cursed looking up suddenly. To my chagrin and discomfort, all three males of our company enjoyed sleep. I thought this ridiculous for our company was large enough to gather an audience. Even with the two people that were me and Èohere, he had insisted on keeping watch, although I had with great difficulty made sure that we shifted the watch at night. Here were these three men who slept comfortably in such dire times and those who did not even stir at the click of my boots. I shook my head while passing their figures before moving to the other side of the cart, far from their and the girl's eyes. I sat on a log under the dark solace of a large growing tree, whose old branches stood erect and strong as the grew into one another.
Once again I felt my thoughts drifting to the ones I shouldn't have. To those thoughts that made my heart feel heavy with anxiousness and misery, and made I will falter ever so slightly as I tuned into those deep whispers of my mind.
"Who are they that you would go to such lengths for them?" The voice of Oýna, purely curious, echoed in my mind.
"But are they looking for you as much as you are them?" She had replied once I had told her that it was, in fact, my family that I was searching for, although she was not aware of the extent of my search she knew that it was not the first time I was travelling in this world. For unlike the unceasing comments of Gilwen and Oýna I had remained tightly lipped about any ire I must have felt due to the sore journey.
"I had a brother," she said later that night when Gilwen was deep into her sleep and we both were sitting under the deep blue of the sky fading against starry shine, beside the peaceful flow of a nearby stream. The moon was full that day, making it possible for me to see her conflicted expression as if her eyes lulled over whether to share the information or not.
"He went for a patrol five years ago, a small one, and when the party returned from the scouting he was not among them. I remember it still, as though it was yesterday when the captain told of the sudden ambush and of his missing self." She swallowed and I kept my stare fixed on the illuminated water, my shoulders tense as I listened to her words, posing neutrality as my heart sunk. "He came back two years later. We were happy on seeing him again, yes, but it was different. He had lived as a rogue for years and when he returned he was not the same man as before, nor were we the same people he left behind. We did not know of the change in ourselves for we lived in each other's presence for that time but he did, and he had no qualms in pointing that out." My gaze shifted over to her distant eyes, unseeing even when they were fixated on the water. She sighed, carefully weighing her next words and her voice was impassive as she uttered them quietly as if willing the wind to carry away her sinful thoughts before they even reached my ears. "He had problem adjusting to the life before, for in those years he had learned much more than the thick walls of Minas Tirith taught him in decades," I swallowed thickly for I found that applicable to even myself, "to make things short, that became problematic, not only for him but for us as well, and I not once but many times," her eyes shifted to her lap in guilt, "whished that he had not come back." and as I heard those words, all the burning desire turned cold, as my heart seemed to fall into the deep pit of my stomach.
As I sat beneath the shadow of the tree I wrapped my arms around my legs. Hugging them to my chest for a source of comfort. Hoping against hope that they have not yet given up on me when I was going to such lengths to see them once more.
Only one look. One gaze. One moment. One word. Of appreciation. Of love. Of desperation. Maybe, only maybe that is all I need to be at peace with myself.
I waved my hand dismissively, cutting off their half-hearted protests.
"I'll be fine, I have to leave soon. There is no need for such formality as you all must be tired too." I said, heaving my bag across my shoulder and nearly wincing as the scab of the sword dug into my back. Gilwen looked forward not meeting my eyes and Oýna stood a little to the side, her eyes down cast in sadness at our parting. I gave the company of five people a small smile and inclined my head, "Thank you for bearing with me. I appreciate that you all took me with you when you had no need to."
There were murmurs of, of course not, and let us not part ways, but as I looked at their faces, I could tell that I had already overstayed my welcome. Now that we were in the village they had promised. They were to go to their respective houses. I gave another smile before clasping Oýna, the only sincere person, on the arm and turned my back on them with greetings. I walked without even a backward glance until I had walked around the corner and stopped, smiling lightly at the dark alley way from whence I came.
I walked around the village, the dark of the night making it hard for me to navigate about until I reached the path that could only be regarded as the main street, for it was lighted much more than any other I had seen in this scarce place. I entered the less populated inn, for I did not wish to draw much attention to myself and was surprised to find only the old, weary bartender standing behind the counter. He did not seem aware of my presence and I followed his gaze to find where he looked so ruefully, only to see the opposite basking in light and. life. My eyes snapped back to his care worn face and I felt a surge of pity as he wiped his face with a napkin, his hands shaking with age. At that age, people should be living home in peace with their children and grandchildren and, in this age and era, maybe even their children too. Not staring into abyss wondering how to eat bread three times a day. His slouched back, tensed at hearing my steps and he looked at my figure, his face plastered with a polite smile, although his hope could be seen from his desperate eyes. I placed my bag on the counter, "How much price for a room?" I asked.
"One silver for a day, Miss." My brow raised in surprise.
"One silver?' My tone was incredulous. It was almost amusing as his hands shot forward towards mine as if he were to beg me. At my sudden cold expression, he stopped his wrinkled hand's inches from mine.
"Miss, you can give half of the price," he said, wiping his brow in nervousness. I gave a light chuckle at that. One silver was such a low price. I knew Butterbur to cost at least 8 times more for his cheapest rooms. The old man looked surprised at my sudden amusement but chose to stay silent.
"I need a room for almost five hours," I said, counting the time left till dawn, "and a nice meal for tonight." He nodded his head eagerly so I continued, "I'll give you 3 pieces." He looked towards me with no small amount of amazement, and for a first time since coming from Bree, I felt that maybe I was truly helping someone in their need. Oh how much had I forgotten about my job, and how much I missed it!
"Oh," I continued as I sat on the table he pulled out the chair from, grabbing his attention before he buzzed into the kitchens in his haste to comfort his customer. "I'll give you twenty pieces if you arrange bread, cold meat and a lot of beef jerky for my travel." Had he held something at that moment, he must have dropped it, for I could see that he barely contained his pure joy at my words and nearly crumbled to the ground in happiness.
I shook my head at his retreating figure before smiling contently into my hands and looking out of the window towards the inn the was staring so melancholy at, tired and hoping for a warm meal and comforting sleep. My last for many many months to come.
I woke with a start at the knock on the inn door, and barely dragged myself out of the bed. I opened the door up to a crack and saw an equally old woman standing outside. Her hair was pulled from her face and held in a motherly bun. Her face despite being wrinkled with age and circumstance was kind and affectionate still.
"Your food is prepared miss, so is your breakfast, I have also drawn a bath for you in the room down the hall for it is nearing dawn and you wished to leave before the first rays of sun."
I nodded and smile in thanks and she went away.
It took me only a small while to bathe, I changed into the shirt and breeches, which while not being even a bit as comfortable as daily jeans, were at least practical for travel, strapped the sword to my hip and wore my cloak, sighing in contentment as the thick wool settled about my shoulders blocking the cold.
If the hosts found my attire inappropriate, they were not willing to voice their opinions or even show a shred of some discomfort. I ate the breakfast, assembled the things, paid the hosts and with a smile and a wave left the inn. The last thing I saw as the inn disappeared from view were the loving expressions of that old couple towards each other, their happiness at their earning evident from their smiles. I walked up to the Northern end of the village. As I had not lived here long enough I passed beyond the houses without a second thought. My boots echoing in the void of the streets.
It wasn't until the first rays of sun started illuminating the dirt path and the wind hissed through the small grass, shaking off any warmth that might be imparted from the feeble light, and the tops of the wooden houses were nothing but darkened blobs, did I look back. I stopped after a while when the sun had fully dawned and its rays were moulding the cold bite of the December winds, to fully stare. The village disappearing in the wake of my steps. And as I moved forward, I felt my hand clenching tightly at the strap of my backpack instinctively, reflecting the unsettled emotions I felt.
It was maybe only right that I moved towards a new start, in the same way, I had had my first start, alone, helplessly waging forward with no future in sight.
I nearly jumped out of my skin once again as thunder roared above. The storm was up on the plains of North-Eastern Rohan in all its fury and rain poured to the ground in sheets of water. It splashed on the ground with a loud platter. The wind hissed furiously through the muddy plains and wet grass and the trees whipped around in turbulence, their branches colliding in their rave.
I wiped my wet hand on my face in a vain effort to clear my view. With a gasp, I whirled to the side as one particularly strong gush of wind and liquid flew past making my soaked hair slap onto my face's side.
Coming to the river in this weather had been nothing short of a folly, for now, I could not navigate my way back to the tree, underneath which I had placed my belongings. My heart drained quite effectively after coming to the realisation that in this horrendous weather my bag, my clothes, my belongings and most importantly even the food will be soaked.
It had already been a challenge for me to find food on the road after the first three weeks when even the stale bread had finished and I as left with only the beef jerky, which I had to save for my time in the mountains. I had lived on wild berries and fruits and the few pieces of cold ham for the past many days and had already felt myself weaken and my strength vanishing. Just when I had decided to rest a little extra and search for more food in these plains, the river little ways to the distance lifting up my hopes, this scavengous storm had descended and I had to come back to safety lest I drown in the roaring waves.
I ran a hand through my hair effectively plastering all the strands back to the head and proceeded to walk towards the tree with half-lidded eyes. I had to stop after many intervals, just to gather my strength of waging forward in such a downpour and to gauge my surroundings. I was sure that I'd end up dead if someone decided to attack me today for my already shabby skills were decreased to none in such a situation.
I shivered instinctively, my cold and gradually paling hands shaking like the leaves in the autumn wind and I hugged my arms close to my body, my cold and damp cloak and clothes increasing my discomfort.
With difficulty I reached the tree, only to drop in its whirling shade, pressing my back against its trunk and drawing my hands and knees close to my chest. My shaking hands fumbled with the zip of the leather bag, and I opened it only to be rewarded with a soggy mess of clothes, items and food. I took out a wet piece of jerky and with an effort started to chew on it, for in such cold I needed every strength possible in my body. If I didn't die of an attack possible, It was highly likely that I will of the cold.
Raymond's condition, Arthritis, Norovirus... all kinds of diseases were coming to my mind as I sat hunched in the downpour trying with all my will to keep my consciousness. I breathed out, my breath becoming puffy even in the moist of the night. My body shook uncontrollably and no matter how much I tried to keep the coldness at bay, there was no escaping the heavy rain. My best shot was to wait until the storm settled down enough for me to navigate about.
This near Fangorn there were not any human populations and the prospect of not knowing how to overcome such an ordeal alone made me frightened beyond words.
In the wake of my ever increasing nerves, I sat there until the down pour decreased in its magnitude before fading away into a little drizzle at the break of the day. The dark clouds still hung deep in the sky and the rays of the sun fighting to break free from the charcoal. The day started in all the shades of grey with no signs of the clouds leaving any time soon. I had drifted off into unconsciousness, a little before the end of the storm, having no more strength to bear the biting cold and heavy down pour, and now as my eyes drifted open and I took about the muddy, clayed grounds did I feel a sense of forfeit. The coldness, before which was moist with the rain, now felt sharp and biting my still damp clothes. I got up with difficulty and moved my limbs to get rid of the numb. The shivering hadn't stilled and I felt cold from deep within.
It wasn't even five hours since I had started back on the road when, still downing my wet and dirty clothes with my bag hung on my shoulder, the moisture dripping onto the ground. It was an attempt to keep warm, no doubt. If there was to be no warmth from the ecosystem them maybe my own system would contribute had it not been for what I dreaded.
Not halfway across the Limlight, I felt the gravity of my actions as I coughed harshly, the utter cold making my lungs ache rashly. I felt my face burning with fever. My legs deep into the water wobbled uncontrollably whenever I took forward another step. With every bit of strength left in my being, I somehow managed to cross the river. What had initially taken me and Èohere only an hour to cross took me more than four and by the time I reached the other side, what little was left of the sun's warmth was already beginning to vanish. I crawled a little ways from the river. By that time I already was not in my consciousness, the headache hammered my head, the fever burned my body, the shivers racking furiously, and whatever little strength was left faded as I retched empty the contents of my stomach.
In a haze, I remembered pushing away the hair from my face and reaching my hands into the backpack to take out a sponge cloth. Maybe I had crawled back to the river in my desperation, maybe I had wet the cloth and had placed in on my temples. Maybe I really had gargled in the running water but I wasn't sure because in those moments the world swirled around me in all its colours and I felt a lone tear escaping my eye when I could see nothing but the fading grey and growing dark before losing myself completely.
I faded in and out of consciousness for many times after that. Those fleeting moments felt still like a far away dream as the memories and colours blurred into an horrifying mess. First I woke up when the dark had settled and owls were hooting. My side was soaked by the waves from the river and I tried my best to move but ended up fading again. The second time I woke up shivering, the water on my side causing my fever to shoot up so high that I wasn't sure that I could survive this day. My eyes were met with the clear blue of the sky and I wondered that whether it was the next morning or has many days passed for the sky to dawn like this. With shaking body I shifted to my front and pushed with my arms in an effort to get up only to fall back on the ground. The mud marred my face and blurred my eyes and I felt sickly and achy with only a few turns to drag myself away from the river water and a little nearer to my bag. I was reminded of my unwanted fasting as I hardly reached my hands towards the bag. The scene blurred in and out and I tried my best to focus. My head throbbed, my body ached and trembled and my attempt remained futile as I went into unconsciousness again. The third time, I barely woke up. The sky was still blue and yet the ground seemed dryer and the air warmer and it was enough to make me realise that it was not the same morning anymore. I closed my eyes, willing the pain to go away, silent tears burning at the back of my eyes and my throat becoming choked with emotion. Maybe I cried or Maybe I didn't. Maybe I was audible in my sorrow maybe I wasn't. In that moment I had no means to know, for when I laid there on the solid ground my body remained unresponsive to my bleak consciousness. I knew that it was the lack of nutrition and the remnant fever. Sluggishly but like a ray of hope in the dark tunnel I remembered the small pouch that contained my belongings from Earth. My phone, my earrings, a necklace, mint gums, if they were still intact and... Panadol. I nearly cried out loud in happiness and I would've done so had I had the power to do so. I had not taken those pills in over an year, maybe they've gone bad but who cared. I knew that after such absence of modern medicine even Panadol would have great effect on my fever taken immune system. I fumbled though the pockets. Even my turn to the side caused an inevitable sort of pain. I pulled out a piece of beef jerky and that pouch. Combining every ounce of strength I slit my arms and legs on the ground and got on the fours before sitting up completely. The sudden blurriness and nausea came expected and I closed my eyes until I calmed enough to think straight. I silently berated myself for it later, I was a doctor for God's sake! Why hadn't I paid heed to the symptoms when they had started to appear. Why hadn't I taken precaution?
It took me a long time to chew on that jerky and many times I felt like throwing up, grossed at the bland taste but held it in, for I knew how dangerous it could be to eat expired medicine and on an empty stomach! No.
I fell back my head colliding with the soft leather of my bag after taking the medicine. I had already used up too much of my strength. The fever had not subsidised yet, it still burned in all its fury but the shivering had grown mild since I had something in my stomach as a source of strength. I wasn't sure until the fever truly died down but I didn't fear for my life at that moment, knowing that if I survived this day then I might pull through. Having these thoughts I drifted into a deep sleep.
I woke up later in the noon. Maybe on the same day may be the next or maybe even more than that. I had no phone, no watch not technology so I couldn't tell.
My body still ached, in areas and joints I was never sure could hurt this badly but as I moved my hand to feel my grimy forehead I was glad to find the fever already gone. The shakiness too had subdued and I only found weakness and aches to be the major problem.
My eyes focused on the shaded sky and I closed my eyes in anguish. I needed to move on before another storm decides to hit this place. I was already too much behind on schedule. If I couldn't travel through the plains of Rohan alone then what chance did I have of passing through the misty mountains and the valleys and dales to reach Rivendell. I needed to buck up already. A year ago there was Èohere to save me in trouble and now I had to depend upon myself. Had I not always prided myself on being an independent modern woman who could take care of herself with no one's help? If so then these were the days to prove it.
I rolled to my front and pressured myself onto the fours before getting up on wobbly legs. I stretched a few stiff muscles, wincing in agony before covering the few feet to the bag. Thankfully most of the stuff had dried completely. Even though the bag was caked with dried mud, the clothes inside were not in that bad a condition. The rain that had seeped into the bag had been fresh natural water, and what else had I expected in purely organic surroundings.
I spent the next many hours wading through the river to find fish, making up a fire (while wishing again and again that I had matches), eating to my fill and then dipping into the cold river to clean off all the weeks of grime the best I could. The water was a sharp contrast against my warm skin but I was more worried about hygiene than anything else so I held in the shrieks as I made contact with it. Even though I would've loved any help, I did not want anyone to walk by or ride by now, while I was still bathing. I dried myself with light clothes and wore the cleanest ones I could find, and by the time I had finished strapping the sword to my hip I was already too exhausted to even stand. I sat beside the fire as the darkness descended and mulled over whether I should leave or rest again. Even though I had wasted enough time, I knew that it would be even greater a folly to walk just the day my body had come back to normal. And passing through middle earth plains at night? Nuh uh. Hence I laid down my bag and a sheet on the ground beside the fire and fell asleep, feeling content with the warmth of the fire after so many days of biting cold.
I trudged through the knee depth snow, panting and swearing profusely with every step. It had been almost four months since my fever had quelled. I had spared no time idling, for I knew that the areas beside the Fangorn were overridden with Orcs. I had been lucky on the plains of Rohan for the RiddelMark seemed to be doing a well job but now that I was beyond the plains and even passed the area between Lothrien and Fangorn I needed to be on guard. The last time I had the fortune of meeting with those foul creatures was when we were near the misty mountains. Thus my day while climbing the mountains were filled with caution and no little amount of dread. I slept less, made no effort for a fire, survived on beef jerky all the way and bore the freezing cold and aching joints with muffled groan. Once or twice I had nearly lost my mind, when the winds were extremely sharp and the snow stormed down and nearly buried me whole into the wet coldness, I had screamed loudly, stomping and roaring like a child whose candy was taken. Was I embarrassed? No I wasn't because if it had been anyone else in that situation they would've done the same. If not, then they were just basically a better person than I was.
I stepped onto the large jutting rock, grabbing the sharp ends with my hand and jerking my legs to get rid of the accumulated snow. Two more rocks on the left, one on the right and a ten feet drop below, how charming. I stepped onto the lone rock for it was much closer and easier to climb down than the other two options. I panted as my feet made contact with the snow again.
The descent was way easier than the climb, I wasn't someone with much stamina and I knew that being in such a situation where I needed to not just cover the distance but also climb up and down was disadvantageous to me, and I couldn't help but feel excited as I knew that just a few days and then again these peaks would be an old tale. I looked over the jutted peak, in all the various directions, the plains and plateaus spread out far and streams felt as though thin strands of thread waving in the wind. It was truly a beautiful sight.
I jumped down the rock and made a show of landing, my face bursting with relief and happiness. I gave a mock bow to no one in particular (do not judge me, living alone for months on end tends to do that) and looked at my green surroundings. I was finally beyond the mountains, with twice as much time as it took Èohere and me but still, I was done with those horrific mountains and terrible weather. I made a small pact in my heart to never travel these ranges again, especially not in winter. 'Not like I was going to.' I thought hopefully, going to Lord Elrond might bear fruits and I just might...! I shrugged away such thoughts and started walking again.
During the six months of my travels, the winter had dawned into flowery spring. The month of May dawned with a warm breeze and floral grounds. The area beneath the mountains was fertile, with varieties of shrubs, herbs and trees growing in all their might. The tendrils stretched over the growing branches which moved lightly in the warm spring breeze. The summer was dawning, slowly showing its wonder over the breath taking the beauty of spring. Birds chirped on the branches, feeding their young ones. It was a scene worth watching. With my renewed spirit I glanced around, walking peacefully over the green cliffs.
I took to the path near the misty mountains, not steering that far to have even a little semblance of direction. I was uneasy about being in the open too and hoped that the uneven cliffs and green plateaus would provide enough cover.
Rivendell, according to the ancient map, was nearly a month's worth of peaceful walk from Glanduin.
It took me a whole of four weeks to travel to the near perimeter of Rivendell, the journey was quite peaceful and I had strayed too long near Hollin. Mesmerised beyond wonder by the hollow beauty of those beautiful ruins. They still seemed to shimmer lightly, when the sun shined just right and they rays fell on them at the best angle. Maybe it was a fragment of my imagination or maybe it was the little sprinkle of whatever magic was left over even after decades of its abandonment. It made me wonder, what Rivendell, which was still inhabited by those elves would look like. A place of unrivalled beauty, no doubt.
I squatted down to pack the rest of the food that I had gathered today, a few herbs that I had grown accustomed to and the fruits that grew on the hill slopes. I steered clear of any mushroom in my way, for I knew not if it was edible. My beef jerky, even the mound I had repacked in a small village at the end of Rohan, had finished a few days ago and I was living on a bare minimum with only a few munches a day. I tried my best to ignore my growling stomach and reminded myself profusely that it was just a few day struggle before I reached Rivendell and can eat pure, freshly cooked, edible food. I tied shut my bag and adjusted my sword as it was stabbing my side before getting up. I hauled up the bag and adjusted the cloak around so it covered my bag with me and drew down the hood. I had decided to travel even in the night, so I could cover the most distance I possibly can. If I only slept when necessary, my journey would be shortened further. I stepped forward on the rocky path near the stream coming from the misty mountains. The spring worked in my favour and the temperature caused the snow to melt and numerous new streams to flow down after small intervals. To say the least I didn't need to worry much about water as I needed to worry about food.
Above the splashing brook I heard the dragging of steps behind me. I froze, ducking behind the jutting rock and peeked out towards the source. My blood froze as my incredulous gaze made contact with monstrous purple flesh. I gasped and pressed myself into the rock, not feeling under the fear the way the hard surface bruised my skin. I pressed a hand firmly on my mouth to suppress any sound that comes out and closed my eyes in an effort to compose myself. My heart was gradually sinking and my body raked in the coldness of my fear. As if my mind had stopped working for I couldn't fathom a single sound thought. A cold numbness seemed to jam my brain. I gulped down a shallow breath and peeked out again. A few yards separating us. Five of them. Five big, monstrous, torturing, vile creatures I can't possibly win against. I knew that I was done for as soon as they found about my presence. The most probable situation was that I took advantage of these jutting rocks and the dark of the night and make an escape. I shakily stepped forward softly pressing my boots down to not make any noise. Those orcs laughed loudly, a deafening sound that caused an involuntary shiver to run down my spine. Another step, a rock in the path screeched. I froze again, waiting with bated breath. Their commotion continued as previous. I nearly cried with relief. Another step. And another. and another. And one more. I continued slowly, softly, shaking fearfully in my boots and my ears strained to hear another bit of sound. Any disruption in their talks that could inform me of my presence. I was astounded and relieved to find none as I took another step forward. I had put a little space between us. Two or so meters or so. Not much and I knew that they could still pounce on me lest I make a mistake.
I stepped to the left, under the last rock that dropped five feet to the shy grass. It was the end of the rock patch that extended from the misty mountains and again the continuity of the green plateau of from Hollin. I squatted at the edge and put my hand on the ground, gripping it too hard for comfort, but with the amount of adrenaline pushing through my veins I hardly felt it cutting into my pale hands. I jumped down keeping my weight on my hands and made a soft landing. I let the rocky surface go and pressed my cold hands together, holding in a wince when the cuts were pressed. I turned around. Coming face to face with the back of another Orc. At my loud gasp it turned, it's yellow eyes gleaming horrifyingly from the shadowed face. I didn't knew how, I didn't knew why but the next thing I felt was my hands pulling out the polished sword with a clang and the same shaky hands pushing the tip of the blade into its heart. It was like my mind had stopped for a moment, my body moving on its own accord. The next thing I knew was that my whole body pressed against the vibrating sword embedded in the creature as sticky blood gushed out from the wound. The orc spluttered in its own blood and I shivered like a leaf as the drops from its spit marred my face. It moved to make a sound but couldn't as it's body went numb against my cold fingers. It sagged on the sword and I felt the edge of it tearing even more skin as the whole weight of the dead orc leaned on the blade inside of it. With a horrified gasp it pulled out the sword, my throat closing up as I felt the flesh ripping and bone cracking. The body fell with an audible thud and my head snapped backwards to see the orcs a few meters behind. One of them turned to stare at the perimeter while the others continued their jabs. My sword shook in my hands and I felt bile rising in my throat. A look at the dead creature at my feet made tears prickle at the corners of my eyes. The fear of being caught, the adrenaline rushing through my veins and my painfully beating heart reminded me of only one thing. I needed to escape, and so I did.
I ran. Ran as fast and as far as I could. My legs strained at running so fast. Faster than I ever had in my life. I kept running. The only sound I heard was the blood rushing in my ears and the loud thump of my heart. By the time the orcs got about to realise that something was wrong and came to see their dead companion, I had already covered enough distance that the audible clicks of my steps evaded their ears. I ran for a long time, or maybe it seemed like a long time. I wasn't woke enough to know.
Dead. I thought. Their companion was dead. By my hands. The realisation hit me like a canon, staggering my overridden mind in its magnitude. I, Lanette Anderson, A doctor, a surgeon, a healer, has just killed something. Something that lived, breathed and formulated thoughts. I had pushed a dagger in its heart. My eyes collided with the dark sticky substance on my hands, the gleaming edge of the sword that was dripping with the same fluid and I felt my insides quench at realising that it was blood. Blood.
Blood of not someone I saved but of someone I killed.
I stumbled on a tree stump and collided with the hard ground, my shaky movements coming to an abrupt halt. The sword scattered a little to the side and I stared at it.
My face was pressed against the ground. I closed my eyes. It was an orc, not a person. I reasoned. It was a vile vile creature that had probably tortured many and would do the same to many more if left alive.
No matter what I said, I still felt dirty.
Eohere had killed five in front of you and you hadn't batted an eye! my mind screamed.
It was something to bedone. Either you or that orc, only one could have survived. Be glad that it was you. Be selfish, it is not something to be guilty about. I reasoned with my conscience.
Later, when I was mindful enough to think clearly I got up only to run again, for the fear that they might be following me was not yet subdued. I ran and the jogged and walked until I was not breathless anymore to only run again. I did not stop to rest until I finally collapsed. I skidded on the ground, the hardness of it bruising my front. and gagged the mouthful of dust. As if someone had hit me on the back of my head, in my head ache, the feverishness, the bruises I became unconscious.
When I woke up the first rays of the sun were illuminating the green grass. The scene of the soft grass stretching miles and miles over the soft cut of cliffs would've been gorgeous too see had I not been a state already. I closed my eyes with a gasp when I saw my hands covered in black blood. I took a while to steady myself, trying to subdue the tears that prickled at the corner of my eyes and the guilt that seemed to eat up my heart.
For the first time, I felt a deep repulsive disgust for the life in Middle earth. And for the hundredth time, I realised why I wasn't suited for this life.
The next days were spent in moving towards Rivendell, for my previous encounter had made me anxious and in my fidgetiness, I didn't have the heart to rest. The journey to Rivendell which was to end in one week seemed a little longer for I had steered towards the Bruinel. I couldn't walk anymore with the blood marring my flesh and took a long dip into the river. The water washed over my clothed body and when I came out the air chilled my dripping clothes. I didn't care much and after adorning my boots went on my way to cover the rest of the distance. I had known since the first day that my stay in middle Earth was changing me but it was now I realised that it wasn't changing me as much as it was destroying me. I had never known depression before but now I was sure that this anxiousness that pressed at my chest, the dark twist in my mind and the heavy heart that was begging to cry were nothing if not it.
It took me two days to walk towards the ford and I continued without stopping. I was surviving on the bare minimum and if I didn't get to Rivendell soon, I didn't know if I'd live to see the future.
I was stepping down from the green plateau in the moorland when I heard the hooves thumping behind me. My heart sank before I even got a chance to see who was behind. 'Not again" I thought mournfully as the horses circled me. I felt fear seize my heart when they circled the diameter around me, at least six of them. A sharp edge of spear extended towards my neck and I stumbled backwards at feeling the cold metal, only to come to an abrupt halt as I felt another digging into my back.
I looked up at the armoured figures, too tall and too refined to be orcs. Their soft features were masked by their headset, and their hair fell in undisturbed waves behind. Their tall, lean bodies majestic in their glow.
"What purpose does a lady have in these land, alone in such times?" the leader of the pack questioned as he took off his helmet. I felt my breath catching in my throat as I saw his face, his voice falling like a soft melody to my ears. I could only say that they were beautiful. Just that. As if that simple word would explain what I saw.
They were beautiful. Perfectly, breathtakingly, unimaginably, achingly beautiful...
To be continued...