A/N: Okay so this chapter is a bit later than I usually upload but to compensate my laziness I made it the largest chapter of the whole story. It would've been larger but somehow I felt that I needed to end it right there, to hit a milestone.
One more thing to note. The italics in sentences is mostly Lanette speaking English but the italics used in her thoughts are to validate the point. I'm sure that it'll be easy to know for you all when English is being used and when words are being pressurized.
Dr Zimmerman: Your wish will be mostly granted in the next chapter! Hope you read on and love it like always :)
Thornbiter: Reviews like yours truly bring a smile to my face. Hope you keep loving it now that it's gonna pick up pace :)
Crazysister101: Thank you so much. Your review really spurred me to finish the last of the chapter, edit and post it in the span of a single day. So thanks! Hope you enjoy it!
Thank You to all those who have taken the time to review, favourite and follow. You guys are really awesome. Have a nice day :)
Hope you enjoy! R&R.
Chapter 21: Seasons.
"...which in the end led to cauterizing being the only option left suitable." I stared at the open tomb before me while running all the possible ways through my head. My frustration rose when most of the solutions ended in a blank. Till now the operations that I had thought to be the easiest ones of the bunch were not applicable in these times. There were too many factors, interlinked characters and dubious variables that brought life to the complex knowledge of modern days. I had realised too soon that surgery, while not being a new complexity to Middle Earth was still a crisis case as most of the operations required basic knowledge that we got from the machines and computers in the modern times and even after all that, if somehow, my knowledge itself provided a good closure, there was absolutely nothing to battle the blood loss except for high iron nutrition and medicines. Most of the surgeries I knew were impossible (or possible with a very low success rate) without blood transfusion and modern analgesics and antiseptics. Both of these situations were impossible with the current information and data. Things like these were really making me see how all the sciences were interconnected to form one complex interweb and I was finding it difficult to explain the physics of the machines even to myself.
It wasn't exactly my fault, I thought as I rolled open the scroll on the intricacies of cauterization. I hadn't exactly learned physics and engineering or something remotely related to those topics since high school finals and God knows how much I wished for a memory good enough to remember that much.
"How were you aware of cauterization, Lady Lanette." Lord Elrond said as I shifted my eyes towards his back. He disappeared down an aisle of books and returned a moment later with two additions, "As it is not similar in your language ." he finished fixing me with a stare.
I grinned a bit, my mind wandering to my time in the great library of Gondor where I had been too disappointed for a day and had given up the history to get a light read. Somehow that light read translated in my mind as accounts of medicine and surgery.
Lord Elrond seemed to understand the sheepish expression and a smile graced his lips as he took a seat before me. He set down the books and I twisted their covers to take a look, before nodding in approval. Just as I got up to leave something made me hesitate for a moment. Something that had been perhaps in the back of my mind since my days in Bree.
"Although Lord Elrond," I finally asked, my hands pilling up the books to be taken with me to my room, "I wonder how I learned westron so easily?"
In my defence it was quite uncanny how I was proficient in the language I knew nothing about, in a few months and now I barely had any difficulty in the area. It might just have been a simple learning as I've always found languages easy to understand but in such a short amount of time? It was ambiguous, to be honest.
For a moment I thought that he would laugh off my concern but he just straightened his posture and clasped his hands behind him.
"This is where I cannot impart my knowledge." he finally replied, "As of yet." and I gave him a small nod of thanks, wondering what he meant by that.
Walking down the hallway I moved towards the railing, smiling at the flourishing allure of Lord Elrond's lawn. I slowed down my steps to bask in the quiet but stopped as I saw Filvendor leaning nearby. He must have heard the indignant gasp escaping me as I bounded towards him, for a barely concealed look of amusement passed his face. It was fleeting, though and eluded him as my finger probed into his chest not far from his wound. "You!" I half shrieked.
"Me!" he replied, copying my halting speech as he turned his toothy grin down to stare at me and for the umpteenth time I marvelled at his above six feet height. Placing my feet back to look at him and making sure that my frown conveyed my disapproval, I grabbed his wrist to check his pulse, hoping that he wasn't just acting tough. The regular and even calming rhythm of his heart was uncalled for and I shifted my fingers to his neck, missing the way his eyes flickered at our proximity.
A moment of silence stretched as I felt his slightly abrupt beating beneath my fingertips and looked up to frown at him, disregarding our closeness and placing his safe arm on my shoulder, if he needed to walk. Perhaps the extended period of straining himself was leading to the irregularity in his breathing.
My musing was cut short as he uttered a bemused laugh before his arm wound out of my shoulder to ruffle the knot I had on top of my head and I swatted his arm away, half amused by his antics and half irate when the strands broke free to frame my face, the ones that just couldn't stick behind the ear.
"I'd walk," he said hiding his smirk at the glare I was issuing the fringe and I turned the gaze towards him.
"Are you kidding with me?" I replied, placing my hands on the hips, " The healer was kind enough to inform me that there were traces of poison in the arrow and now here you are bounding about!" I couldn't hide the tone of worry seeping into my voice as I remembered his pale slack figure from only a day before. It was to be expected that I would worry about his carefree attitude when he could've died just yesterday.
His eyes softened a fraction and as his free arm wrapped around my shoulder to give it a squeeze.
"I'm not exactly bounding about." His tone was light and somehow I couldn't appreciate his aloofness.
"You get my meaning-"
"It's fine!" His voice was high and I stared at him gobsmacked and amused because in all the time I had been here I was sure that elves couldn't raise their voices. He looked sheepish not a moment later as a passerby cast a worried gaze in incredulity and I fought to hide my smirk at the embarrassed quirk of his lips. He looked down at me as if to say that it had been the first time he had ever had such an outburst but faltered as I coked my head to the side feigning innocence. He sighed at the light dancing amusedly in my eyes and turned ruefully to the front. "I've had worse." He murmured and before I could be concerned for his tendency to end up in such situations he turned his cheeky grin down towards me. " And it was awfully boring being in bed for a whole day."
I raised a brow, in what I wanted to be elegant mocking and made an incredulous sound, promptly ruining the effect.
"Was it now? I thought a very sweet lady was pampering you." I said, wagging my brows suggestively. The flustered and to an extent wary look I received made me realise that I was way before my time and I was heartened to find that the previously sharp pang of loneliness and heartache at a life lost too soon had dulled to the sweet tanginess of pleasurable memories and that observation brought a smile to my face.
Filvendor, although having the decency to look embarrassed turned towards me seriously,
"Yes. Lady Astaria was too kind." I hesitated at the polite tone wondering if I was wrongly reading the signs. I truly had believed yesterday from Astaria's possessiveness that she was his something. He seemed to understand my question as he shook his head and breathed out a "No. It is not like it seems." and I was surprised at the tight edges around his mouth. And then, as if that moment was a play of my mind his eyes were again jovial as they twinkled down at me.
"I think I'm used to your spontaneous personality."
"Everyone else seems a bit too polite to me now."
"Is there some dirty secret about you that I'm not privy to?" I asked a moment later as we turned left from the hallway and into the open of the valley.
"Like you have no friends out here, boy." I elaborated as I rushed to catch up with his fast pace, "You can't possibly have been a loner for what three hundred years."
"Three hundred." He murmured, lips curling into another smirk his eyes turned to me, "My Lady, I'm a few months over an aeon."
He paused to laugh as I choked after an indignant sound
"What?!"
"But you said that you were like what two hundred no- a thousand years." I stumbled over my words. Instinctively my eyes turned towards his to catch any semblance of being so advanced in years but nothing struck me. His face was youthful, pure and unblemished and the hardened lines of his jaw showed off his maturity. At the most, I could see that he looked to be in his late twenties or early thirties if I extend it a bit, but an aeon? I was rendered speechless, "Man you're old!"
"No you're just too young Lanette," he replied, shaking his head and trying to stop the growing smirk at my disbelief.
"Come on!" I whined in reply, "I'm not young I'm nearing my thirties and we die when we're like seventy, above if we're lucky, who knows." I finished flapping my arms just to see his stride slowing down until he was just standing motionless a few steps back. The previous light was washed out and in its place was that unreadable expression that left me anxious,
"That just leaves you with forty."
I pondered over his words and the pang that I felt while wondering how it felt to him was real. Immortality was scary, I supposed. To have to see the people you love and associate with leaving one after the other, growing old and helpless with dementia while you retain your youthful power enough to see them fall. It was also exhilarating thinking about the ability to live for so long, the ability to see the rise and fall of empires, the conflicts and wars, the ever-changing customs evolving in front of your own two orbs but awfully lonely to be the one left standing while all else became buried in the lake of quicksand.
I gulped, looking back at him and the smile that graced my face felt hollow even to myself. Placing a hand on his arm I pulled him down the path,
"Hey, don't be a killjoy." I said but somehow my voice was soft lacking the rebuke I wanted to be there, "I ain't going anywhere right now. Live in the moment and all that jazz!" I continued and he remained silent during our tread. The silence that was once effortless and companionable felt tangible and tense and I changed our path from his assigned rooms in the hospital to the great dining hall,
"Come on, if you're that well then lets detour to the hall I'm starving!" What I didn't expect was his hand to slip into my own and halting my descend down the courtyard. I looked from my interlocked fingers to his clenched jaw and moved a step back, casting a quizzical look at his face.
"You're wrong Lanette." I wanted to see what he meant, and the only way to tell what he meant was by looking into his eyes, now if he would just stop staring at the ivy twirling along the barrier and look down at my eye level it'll be swell.
"I've had friends centuries ago, three of them." My expression at his carefully masked one was nothing short of an 'oh!' and I realised that perhaps I had treaded into a topic that I shouldn't have. Judging by the clenching of his jaw it seemed as if he had trouble deciding what to tell me and just as I opened my mouth to tell him 'to take it easy and that he doesn't need to', he continued, his blue eyes flickering to my own dark ones and a look of loneliness and longing passed through them leaving me transfixed at the intensity of his gaze, "One of them died, two sailed in heartbreak."
"Oh" I wondered at my sudden inability to form words but as I looked up into his hooded eyes my mouth felt too dry and my mind ended in a blank. He continued, shifting on his feet and instinctively my palm squeezed his own, entangled in mine.
"I sometimes wonder if I was a bad one." he murmured,
"A bad friend I meant." He looked at our entangled fingers and at the guilt, in his eyes, I felt repentant for making him remember something that brought to him such a heartbreak.
"Whether I wronged them by not fading for them"
Looking at his rueful expression I wondered what I should do but as his eyes made contact with mine and I saw all that longing and isolation fighting with his general happiness I felt my arms circling around his sides as I pressed the side of my cheek to his chest. I felt him tense at the sudden contact but soon his own arms twisted around my waist and the chin descended on the top of my head.
"I don't know about elves much but still Filvendor," I murmured against his torso, knowing that he could hear me, "I'm pretty sure that when you love someone you want them to live, being happy and healthy."
I shifted when his arms tightened a bit and raised my head to look at his own bowed one. From such a proximity I could see the flecks of grey in the ocean of blue, "I mean when someone means so much to you, you can't see them living in such gloom." I continued, a soft smile gracing my lips, "I'm sure that is what they'll want from you too."
I broke away, still holding onto one of his arms as I dragged him forward, towards the entrance of the hall,
"Would they?"
"I hope so."
"I think that my own family and friends would too, you know." I elaborated on his indignant expression. Looking down at my hand, that was fisting at my side, I eased my fingers hoping for once that the choice that I made, to not go back, it is what they would want me to make. That it is what they would do so themselves. That if they ever got to know it, they would forgive me for it.
"It is something that helps me move forward, knowing that they would." He could perhaps make out the uncertainty in my eyes as his own guilt fell away and a genuine smile touched his eyes,
"I'm sure they would. "
I shook my head in disbelief, wondering how everything we were talking about ended with him helping me and not the other way around,
"Hey! You're not just supposed to help others. Take a leaf out of your book for your own happiness too!"
He laughed at that, as he pulled out his seat at the table I had already sat on and leaned forwards to mess my knot just as I slapped his hand away, my expression speaking 'not again!'.
"I'd rather take it out of yours, my lady," He bowed his head in mock respect.
"Flattery will get you nowhere man!" I said pushing jovially at his shoulder before getting up to get food for both of us. Had I not been that hurried to leave perhaps I would've caught the splurge of emotions through his gaze.
I placed the scrolls on the shelves and hastily made my way out, trying to ignore the exasperated look I received from the librarian at yet another late night departure but nonetheless I gave a sheepish smile as I moved out. The cool air of the night caressed across my face and I sighed trying to massage away the stiffness of my shoulders. I walked leisurely across the gardens until I reached the main hallway and hurried past the aisles because after a whole day of research my stomach was growling in protest.
Turning around the corner I stumbled into a hard chest and tottered back on my feet, nearly tripping over, had it not been for the swift hands grasping my wrists. I grasped the arm in panic and took a step back to stabilise myself. Instinctively, my eyes traced the long fingers attached to a broad masculine palm that extended to a leanly muscled arm dressed finely in regal robes and the thankful apology on my tongue died as I made out the face of Lord Elladan in the dim lighting of the hallways. I hoped that the nervous falling off my face was not obvious enough to displease him as I muttered a swift thanks over a strained smile and dashed around him down the stairs, my mind making the excuse of wanting dinner before the hall emptied and it even sounded petty to my own ears. Cursing myself in my own head I stepped down the stairs resisting a peek over my shoulder and wondering why everytime I met with him either ended with me getting frustrated or deeply flustered, the latter happening more and more often.
Since the ordeal on the way to Bree, about a week ago, I had somehow come across Lord Elladan five times (mostly inside the Lord's library) and each time I had been at a loss about what to say. The initial anger at his interruption during the operation and his accusative wording had worn off and I had realised the error of my ways. I couldn't blame him for not trusting me with the operation as I myself had promised him that I was not a healer and the criticism, later on, was also deserved because had I been in his situation and someone had lied to me on my face (although not my intention) and the had done the same thing they had proclaimed to know nothing of, I would've also been majorly pissed. There were somethings I extended my limit to and lying or deceptive information was one of them. Now thinking that I had unknowingly done the same to him, I had realised that he deserved an apology and a nice and calm explanation, which I for some reason couldn't bring myself to utter.
Looking back at the five times I had encountered him, it had perhaps not been the most ideal of situations. The first time had been in passing, through a hallway much different than this one and I had thought to apologise but I had been carrying an assortment of scrolls and books and I truly felt that my arms would break off so I had not spared him another look and passed the hallway with my head buried behind the thick volumes.
The next hadn't been much different. the only change being the putrid and soaking clothes I had adorned at the moment (the courtesy of Filvendor, though the fact that he was not better off than me, calmed the anger flaring in me a bit) and for the first time in being there, I had caused Lord Elladan to stop giving orders and turn to see who was the cause of such disruption and seeing me flapping my soaking sleeves, his expression had turned indignant before the planes of his face hardened and the characteristic cold indifference was back in place. Still, as I turned, flushing to the roots of my hair in embarrassment I swore that I saw a displeased shake of his head and I could do nothing but dunk my head in the bath cooling off the heat of embarrassment.
The third time had been while I was busy poring over the scrolls in the library. Lord Elladan walked with soundless steps and agility of trained killer but mostly he carried with himself an air of charismatic leadership which spoke itself of his presence and the same had been the case as he had walked into the room, his fingers curled around an old scroll tied in a case of gold. I had looked at him from the corner of my eye and then swiftly remembering the yesterday's encounter had glared holes into the scroll on the table willing the heat rising in my neck to not extend to my face. To my credit, he had decided to ignore me that day too, but somewhere in my mind, it felt like he was embarrassed himself to talk to me and I couldn't blame him I supposed. Had I been such a gorgeous, ethereal elf and a human had walked down my home city smelling like month old rubbish and covered in grime and mud I would also perhaps had been gobsmacked. Perhaps.
The fourth time was also in the library, I came in while he was reading, this time, and taking heed of the deadline Lord Elrond had given me to separate the summer blooms into their medicinal categories I had myself chose to ignore him, my guilt for a moment overtaken by my eagerness to (finally!) start about the medicine. It hadn't been until he had gotten up a few hours later and I had looked up in instinct, that my brown orbs made contact with his grey and a chill had passed through my spine but before I could open my mouth to blurt out a brisk apology, he had left, the door swinging behind him and the words burning on the bare tip of my tongue.
The fifth time had been in the mess hall, not unlike today and I had nearly bumped into him while we both had left after eating and as I had stabilised myself on the wall and had looked at his broad back vanishing down the corridor my mouth had opened to call out to him, to speak, to finally apologise but even though my chest was burning with guilt and the need to come clean, the word 'sorry' wouldn't flow past my lips and I cursed at my inability to readily apologise. Perhaps old habits did die hard and with that thought in mind I had lowkey avoided him until I could make up my mind.
Now, as I stepped down the last stair I looked over my shoulder and hoping to see empty space from where he should've vanished down the corridor. What, however, I didn't expect was him descending the stairs behind me until our eyes made contact and my name spilt from his tongue, stilling my advances of avoidance,
"Lady Lanette," he said just as he came to a stop a few feet behind me and I felt my steps faltering, not at his usually strong tone of voice but the newfound uncertainty that mingled with his speech and I couldn't help the surprise etching across my face as I turned towards him. For a moment a vague look flashed across his face which was soon suppressed into the characteristic command of his emotions and I felt the wish flickering at my heart to talk to more of that Elladan.
I coked an eyebrow in question as the silence stretched between us, hoping that he spoke before the great hall really did close.
"I suspect that you, My Lady, are hurrying towards the great hall?" his voice, smooth and expressionless floated over my ears and I nodded hesitantly and a bit sheepishly as my feet fidgeted on spot. His eyes took in my impatience, apprehension and nervousness in one swift gaze before he spoke again,
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I'm afraid that it had already closed," he said and I swore, yet again, that his lips curled into a smirk at the colourful curse escaping past my lips. I turned sheepish, a pink hue grazing my nose as I muttered an apology before trying to excuse myself. I stopped however when he covered the distance between us in two large steps and stood beside me, extending an arm towards the hallway stretching before us.
"I can lead you to the kitchens, my Lady, if you wish so."
I met his expectant gaze with a hesitant smile, for a moment ignoring the grumbling ache in my stomach and considering all the odds. His invitation lacked emotion and I thought that it was just extending the courtesy towards a guest but considering him, would he really consider such niceties? I wondered and as if reading the wide array of emotions through my eyes he inclined his head, his next words infused with polite charm,
"I insist." he pressed, and I could only wonder at his soft melodic tone (the usual of the elves but for him a great leap in charisma) and at his ever-changing persona as I matched my steps to his pace.
We walked across a few hallways making a few turns along the way before winding up in an open courtyard as he pointed to a few characteristic points to remember the kitchens by and stalked up to the large wooden doors to the left side. His steps faltered and stopped a few feet from the shade and he pointed towards the doors of the kitchen, clasping his hands behind him as I looked around only to end up with my eyes drawn back to him,
"Thank you," I said, my tone taking on a soft touch that I had never really used in front of him and if he was surprised by the change in my character he didn't let on instead inclining his head and uttering a gracious 'You are always welcome'.
I fidgeted on my feet wondering if I should leave and stall my apology, yet again, or just say it right now. Considering the fact that I really wanted to explain to him in detail why I had not proclaimed myself a healer and the characteristic ache of hunger in my stomach I wondered at the timing, lost in my own world as my eyes traced the lines my boots were made in the marble.
"Lady Lanette," he said, breaking my reverie successfully and I looked up at his height, willing him to continue. For a moment he looked at a spot above my head, in line with his eyes, before his gaze came to rest on mine, the cold commandment back in them and the next words he spoke were professional, those of a leader and a warrior that one could never forget he was,
"I wish to thank you, for saving my brother in arms, Filvendor, a few days back," he said and continued in a much softer tone, "Had it not been for you, Lord knows what might've fallen upon him, had not his life been endangered, his arm surely would've been and for that you have my gratitude."
I stiffened at his formal bow, my hands raised in front of me in embarrassment,
"You don't need to, Lord Elladan!" and then calming the high tone of my voice considerably, I continued, a genuine smile touched my lips, "Filvendor is my friend, had I not been able to save his arm I would've never let him die on my watch."
Lord Elladan considered my words for a moment, his eyes boring into mine for the whole duration and I shifted on my feet wondering what he was thinking that was so carefully hidden behind his ever-present mask,
"Perhaps," he said a moment later, and for a second a string of emotions passed through his indifferent eyes and I cursed at my perceptiveness to be too slow to make sense of it.
"You do not truly understand Lady Lanette, what one's arm means to a warrior, especially one as fine as Filvendor."
I wondered at my lack of emotion at his words, knowing truly well that the old me would perhaps have been riled up at his implications but I nodded hesitantly a moment later, "Perhaps, I cannot think from the perspective of a warrior, Lord Elladan," I replied, measuring my words carefully, "but I can tell the importance of an arm as a person whose life had been saved not once but thrice by its usefulness."
"So perhaps," I said, my gaze shifting, for a moment, to the tip of the boot scruffing against the marble before making out his eyes again, "So perhaps I can relate, if only a little."
I felt a glimmer of pleasure when I saw a true smile etching across his features for an instant and I smiled in return, hoping to part with this nice atmosphere.
"Also," he said, "I am sorry for my earlier implications," I thought of adding my own apology here but he continued without a break and his speech had somehow muddled together in his haste and I wondered if he was flustered for such an incidence to happen but I didn't get to ponder as I realised his words,
"I want to extend an invitation to you, to train you in sword fighting my lady, for the one bearing a sword as old as yours must live up to its par."
I took an instinctive step back, the earlier anxiety finding itself into my stance and I was saved from replying by a tinkering laugh from my right. As I turned towards the source of hindrance all the coherent thoughts truly flew out of the window as I openly gaped at the beauty of the woman- elleth, before me. Her soft eyes, so similar to Lord Elladan and yet so different in their essence fixed upon him as she gave him a smile, that surely could make any living and breathing being melt into a puddle of softness and rested a soft feminine had on his shoulder.
Next, her gaze turned towards me and the half smile extended to a full one that bloomed across her face and brought a glimmer of happiness to her eyes.
"Lady Lanette, I hope my brother was not being condescending." her melodic voice floated over to me and it took me a moment to register her words. If her brother was-of course, then this was the lady, the lady of the Silverlight, the only daughter of Lord Elladan and the reigning princess of Imladris. The one, whose beauty, passion and kindness truly knew no bounds across the finite confines of this terminable earth, as Filvendor had so eloquently put it and while standing there shifting on my feet and looking at the sibling duo whose charm and allure was magnified by the full moon imparting its own sparkle to them and their fine features as if handcrafted by the angels themselves I registered the stark difference between our races. Somehow I couldn't help but let my eyes linger on the loosening of lord Elladan's shoulders and the softening of his proud gaze. Looking at the love and bond between them, something that had bloomed and sprung not over a few decades but over centuries, I couldn't help the string of envy and the flash of my family that passed through my mind and suddenly I felt lonely enough to curl myself into a ball and eat carbs to sleep.
Arwen seemed to think of Elladan as fault for my sadness, so she asked him to meet Lord Elrond and shooed him away with a promise that I shall give my answer at the festival and between my confusion over the festival, being locked under the strong gaze of Lord Elladan and feeling the soft perception of Arwen I could only manage a strained smile and a small 'of course' before Lord Elladan vanished into the dim lighting of the hallways and I found myself dragged into the kitchens where food was placed before us quicker than any service I had ever had in my life.
Talking to Arwen was calming. She, to my thankfulness, did not fret over me like a mother hen but rather spoke to me as a friend and occasionally as a stressed out sister asking whether her brother was too overbearing or not and even if I knew that he had been a sort of jerk for the past few encounters I couldn't bring myself to say it. What I had seen today of Lord Elladan, perhaps it was what I might have been privy to had we not hit off on the very wrong foot. And looking back at the small companionable talk and his willingness to apologise even though I had faltered at the last moment and he could've flaunted his rank and royalty over me I had thought to, perhaps, not divulge my innermost thoughts. Now that I thought about it everyone I had talked to here, although had joked about his sternness, had had a certain respect and love in their gaze when they spoke of him, and I knew that such devotion can never be the result of arrogance and conceit. This can only be reached when the people adore and love you and are willing to follow you, not just because their ideas might be the same as yours neither because of your talent. No it was because of the man-or in his case the elf, he was that steered such acclaim and perhaps 'I could give him a chance,' I thought, listening to Arwen as she conversed with a passing chef, but the thought wouldn't settle in my mind and I couldn't shake off the discomfort I felt in his presence, not to mention, we really didn't seem like we'll be friendly easily and learning from a person that was hard to communicate with, was probably a huge waste of time, I thought, just as Arwen turned towards me, her gaze taking in my finished plate and handing me a napkin.
"Actually, Lady Lanette, I was seeking you out to officially pass the invitation," she said and I nodded asking her to continue, "There is a festival in a few days. An auspicious day that comes once every decade my lady. When the moon gifts the Earth with its caress." I wondered at her choice of words and she continued with a small smile, a rueful expression crossing over her fine features, "A beautiful time to be spent in the company of love," Even me, who had met her nearly fifteen minutes ago could tell the longing and desperation hidden beneath her grace and wondered at her circumstances but chose to remain quiet, not wanting to delve into a business that had no link to me.
"I will love to come," I replied softly, my hands pressing the napkin between my thumbs. She broke out of her thoughts and gave a small smile, "Filvendor himself would've invited you, but as you are the guest of My father I wanted to extend the courtesy myself."
Thanking her with an inclination of my head I parted my ways through the courtyard, retracing my previous journey in hopes to find my room while wondering simultaneously about the recent events. A certain invitation reigning supreme in my consciousness.
I struggled to hide the grin breaking across my face as I took in the tapping of Calyniel's feet across the pavement, her crossed arms and the eyes squinted in an uncharacteristic show of disbelief.
"I," she started and then gaped again as her eyes roamed over my figure. Saving her from the trauma I straightened my jutting hip and aligned the edges of my coat so that it fell halfway down my hips covering what she thought to be preposterous.
Raising an eyebrow for effect I sighed, marvelling at the serious expression I was able to put on, "Tell me if something is the wrong Calyniel,"
She looked to be wondering over her next words and I sighed ruefully, (or as ruefully I could while holding in my giggles) "It makes me a bit sad tho. Lord Elrond himself paid for such a fine dress and now I can't wear it to the party."
The words had the desired effect to my pleasure and the indignant look was wiped out as she sighed in contempt, "If Lord Elrond paid for it, then perhaps it is the best that you wear it." She trailed off, looking again at my assemblage as I marvelled over my dressing in the full-length mirror.
It had taken me a lot of persuasions, a bit of blackmailing and emotional coerce to get this out of the tailor. But as I looked at the finished product I was extremely glad that he had listened to me. My clothes, were what I would've worn back home, the chic and cool colours felt comfortable and I ran another hand straightening any stray strands through my hair. The pants whereas skin tight as they could get without breaking the social protocol, which in this case was actually a bit similar to the dress pants I had worn so many times before. Over it was a black V neck, forming a centimetre above showing no actual cleavage but deep enough to make Calyniel fan herself in embarrassment. What actually struck her was that the short shirt was actually tucked into my pants, lining my figure and to say the least I wasn't actually displeased. The simple black colours of my suit were topped off (with extreme persuasion and certain pressure from the tailor into a thin turquoise coat, with twirling embroidery in black and gold. It had taken me a while to ensure him that 'halfway down my hips will be nice' and 'no, I didn't require any buttons' and 'that no the v line on my shirt wasn't deep enough to be hidden' and now as I stood in black small heeled boots with my hair tied on the top in an elaborate messy knot and earrings with a turquoise bead dangling way beneath my ear with a thin gold string, I was actually glad of the effect. It made me feel pretty and strong simultaneously and I basked in the effect I was feeling for the first time in the past two years.
Calyniel's dress was folded on the bed and I disregarded the contrast between my chic clothing and her soft pastel dress as I walked down the pavement to the source of melodic singing and reverberating socialising.
The lights assaulted my senses as I stepped into the large clearing crowded with the array of elves mingling about and the first thing that I noticed was the variety of food placed on the many tables, the usual vegan diet spiced up into an aromatic feast that made my mouth water. Calyniel grabbed my wrist as my feet steered too far towards the table and dragged me over the centre where many of her female companions were chattering about. Their frocks skirted around their feet and their jewels glimmered in the starlight, the light makeup they adorned bringing out their beauty. Even with my clothes I didn't feel left out as it was one of those days when one felt on the top of their glamour and the serene and pleasant atmosphere of Rivendell calmed my nerves until I was laughing and chatting with them as if their own. It also helped that my clothes fitted me well and although the fashion might be called eccentric in their time, it didn't appear bleak and actually helped me to retain my personality while simultaneously being dressed up. Calyniel's dress, although beautiful and exotic was not just for me. Even back home I hadn't been much of a dress person unless it was a prom of the invitation card strictly said 'dress'. Chuckling at the story getting told, I allowed myself to shift my attention around. The place was packed, with groups of elves cluttering about but still keeping a respectable distance from each other, although I knew it was just out of respect because they probably could listen to the others quite clearly. I smiled at the elleth, perhaps Terrilla was her name, and excused myself as I moved around the mingling crowd towards the tables that were mostly empty.
Filling up my glass, I took a moment to look whether the eyeliner (Only God knew what it was really made of) and the rosy pink of my lips that appeared natural but had led to an almost brawl between me and Calyniel. It wasn't as though I was opposed to make-up. I wore it, especially eyeliner and gloss when I went out it was just the fact that someone in my friend's list on Insta had posted a study about the history of makeup and if I clearly remembered then the old products, especially the whitening powder, was extremely damaging for one's health and I shuddered to think what I would digest if I took it in but seeing as this was the land and products of elves, 'what could be the odds?', I thought, shrugging as I shifted on my feet and leaned against the table to survey the crowd for Filvendor.
I met the eyes of Bilbo and smiled in return at his jovial greeting, motioning to my still full glass of citrus punch when he beckoned me over. He sighed with a slight smile and turned back to his conversation with the elf I had seen many times before but never knew for sure who and what he was. Surveying a little to the left my eyes made contact, yet again, with Lord Elrond and we exchanged an inclination of the head. I huffed turning away, it was as if all of their senses were too sharp that whenever I looked at someone they would surely look back at me. I picked up a wedgie from they nearby plate, chewing on the spiced goodness as my eyes shifted towards my previous search of Filvendor. He was in a group with some elves I had ranked as the most domineering, with huge presences difficult to be ignored. There was Filvendor, his easy and mischevious air about him easily marking him from other chatting to Lord Elladan which I knew was his good friend and a leader Filvendor cared deeply for. On their left was the twin brother of Lord Elladan, Lord Elrohir, whose calm and serene aura contrasted sharply with the leadership of his brother and even with their identical looks I felt that they couldn't have looked more different. Lord Elladan's face was stoic and cold, a small smile flickering on his mouth as he responded to Filvendor and even though it somehow reflected from his eyes, his face remained stoic as if he was averse to showing any emotion on his self. The way he carried himself was commanding, his presence spoke for itself much like his father's aura but in spite of the warmth with which Lord Elrond dealt with the people he, Lord Elladan dealt with cold detachment. It might've been snobbish I supposed, had it been someone else but Elladan seemed to have learnt the perfect balance between the cold detachment and warmth of a leader and even with his tall stance he never seemed to look down his nose.
Lord Elrohir, on the other hand, had the softer qualities of the elves. His gaze although still difficult to read was always filled with warmth and compassion and although I had never spoken with him, he still had the quality to make me think that it will be a nice and light conversation. His mannerisms were those of a scholar and not a leader. A researcher and an inquisitive mind, as his gaze, although fixed on his guest, seemed to flicker around curiously now and then.
Instinctively, my gaze travelled to their father and I knew that he was the mediator between them. The lord while himself calm and kind with a compassionate will to help and teach had this steel in his eyes that could send chills down one's spine if he wished it so. His stance was tall and charismatic much like his older son but his eyes were soft and the smile kind, that showed the resemblance to Lord Elrohir and I smiled at what a perfect picture those three painted together. Not to forget his daughter that was perhaps the best of all the words with her altruism, affection, softness and a will to sacrifice that burned brighter than anyone present there. A will that made me wonder what was there for her, who was there more importantly so that she was like that. I wouldn't have known it before, but now as I myself could associate with such loneliness I could see it clearly displayed in her eyes, sprinkled beneath a sheen of beauty that it was almost imperceptible but it was still there. It was there and not even being among her people could rid her of it.
Downing the last of my punch and digesting the tangy aftertaste I filled in the cup with another drink and surveyed the surroundings before uttering a sigh and moving to catch up with Calyniel. I would've gone to Filvendor had it not been for the company he was in. Lord Elladan being the man I had been avoiding for the past week as I pondered over his invitation and Lord Elrohir's uncanny resemblance to his brother made it not exactly tempting to join them. There were three others present there, two of whom I was sure I had seen with the company of Lord Elladan during our first encounter. They were engaged in an intense conversation which I didn't feel like breaking with my unwanted presence. What really dispirited me was the last Lord, the famous Lord Glorfindel who had the golden aura of warmth contrasting sharply with the shimmering glow of his companions and I didn't feel like getting caught up in an intense conversation so I steered clear of them and made a detour behind the group of elleths huddled close to their space. Just as I was passing by them, hoping that I didn't stand out enough to catch Filvendor's attention and hoped that what Lord Elladan and Lord Glorfindel were explaining was important enough for his undivulged heed, I was stopped by one of the elleth in the group, her round and small features, quite unlike those of the real characters of elves lightning up jovially as she uttered aloud, "Lady Lanette, what an honour!" and I felt the sudden need to clamp a hand over her mouth as her high pitch broke across the soft murmurs of the crowd. The conversations carried on as if such unusual behaviour was common to them, (much to my relief) but I saw many looks directed at me from the corners of eyes and above clanking of wine glasses and I felt my heart sink a bit as my eyes focused on my companion and her friends, hoping to keep up with their names and their family histories that I was suddenly bombarded with.
I usually accepted and liked such a person, that was willing to make a statement and a good impression especially after being with the people who preferred to hide beneath a veil of passiveness but today was not just the day. It was one of those nights when I felt the top of my very game, felt fabulous in my clothes, my medieval eyeliner the perfect thickness and length I wanted it to be, my face free of any breakout, my body fit enough to have a eat all you want cheat day and I wanted nothing more than to stay at the sidelines, taste every cocktail placed on the tables and devour all the wedges (that might as well be a delicacy here) and only talk about light and mild stuff where I wouldn't be needed to speak another word. Perhaps had I been back home it would have a night out with my girls, in the club on the top of our game and ignore the boys in preference to our airy stories and later devouring some sort of fast food or perhaps sushi, I thought my mouth watering at the thought of meat after having to stay vegan in Rivendell. I caught myself just in time, a hesitant smile overtaking my lost expression and I saw one of the elleth smiling, a knowing look taking over her face as she nudged the other one who had been staring at me for a good of almost ten minutes.
The elleth jumped at being jabbed and a hue took over her cheeks as an apology escaped past her lips. I had no time to wonder at all the colourful (for elvish standards) personalities I was encountering today as I strained to hear her words barely above a mumble. She seemed to be used to speaking at such a volume, which wasn't surprising given their supernatural abilities but for me personally, all these years of blasting songs over my headphones were totally paying off.
"I was just wondering about your dress," she said, and as if suddenly realising that her words could be interpreted wrong she hastily shook her head, "Not in the bad way, my lady! I was just surprised that a Lady could look so elegant and regal in such attire." she spoke, her soft voice taking on the characteristic melody of elvish, "You truly look beautiful." and I couldn't stop the smile spreading all the way towards my eyes as I struggled to make contact with her downcast ones, "You are beautiful too, my lady," I replied, truly meaning my words as I took in her unusually bright orbs and light hair tumbling down and framing soft features, "even for elves." I finished and was satisfied when I saw the 'Do you really think so?' expression appearing on her face.
"Now ladies," I continued, looking around and meeting the amused gaze of Calyniel a few meters away and raised my glass as I saw her beckoning, "If you'll excuse me. It was splendid chatting with you." I said and with an incline of my head carried on my way.
Just as I put about a foot between us an arm settled heavily on my shoulder and on instinct I slapped his hand away, "Don't even!" I said wriggling out to face Filvendor, "Do you even know how long it took me to achieve this perfect messiness." He rolled his eyes at my exaggerated flailing of arms,
"You've been here for about an hour and not once had you sought me out," he replied, and his pointed gaze was fixed on me. My eyes took a swift look around me and steeled for a moment as they found the cool grey ones of Lord Elladan and nervous laughter bubbled out of my throat at his knowing expression. "Well, neither did you!" I countered, swatting his arm. It was now his turn to fix eyes on some spot above my head and I didn't even turn to know that Lady Aria was perhaps, no 100% staring holes into my skull.
"Well," I continued, hoping to ignore the awkward silence that had descended not only on us but the two groups at our respective backs, "Wanna get some food?" and I didn't stop for confirmation before dragging him across the crowd until it had thinned out to leave only two of us at the very back of the feast tables.
"Why don't you just chat with Lady Aria, she's clearly head over heels for you," I muttered as I downed my glass and moved to fill it again while ignoring the withering glare he threw towards me. Sighing, I turned back towards him and rolled my eyes at the tense set of his shoulders, "I know that you're too good of a guy to lead her on and whatnot," I said and wanting to lighten the mood added, "But the next time you so jovially put an arm around my shoulder in her vicinity perhaps the next morning you'll be dealing with my remains." I said now that we were, what I hoped to be, beyond her hearing capacity.
A smirk fought dominance with his furrowed brow, "Does it bother you when I put an arm around like that?"
I stared at him, "No, why would it? after all, you're like the best-est friend I have here." and for a moment perhaps I saw relief glimmer through his eyes before he turned towards someone approaching from behind.
I turned just at the moment to come face to face (or more likely face to chest) with Lord Elrohir. Sidestepping the man I returned his polite smile as he addressed Filvendor.
"Elladan and Glorfindel need to hear your views on the siege. I'm afraid I've already exhausted myself."
I could literally feel the roll of his eyes as he stared back at Elrohir and his companion just gave a small shrug before coming to stand beside me and filling up a spare glass.
"This is not the time nor the place for such talks." Filvendor murmured and for the effect stayed rooted to his spot, gulping down the citrus punch and trying to hide his disgust at the aftertaste.
"Perhaps you want to explain it to them." Elrohir said, raising a fine brow, his voice, inherently kind and soft mingled with the spark of a challenge and Filvendor stared at him as if he'd said the most preposterous thing on the planet while I wondered when I had started using such big words like preposterous even in my thoughts.
"As if," he muttered and as if accepting his fate dragged himself over to the heated conference. I spared a glance towards my companion, looking at his brow furrowed in thought as his gaze traced Filvendor's path. Sensing his disinterest I picked up another wedgie, my hand itching to just take the whole platter and make a run for it and nearly stepped forward to go back towards Calyniel but couldn't when his soft voice reached my ears. When I turned, his face was contorted in apology and embarrassment and the look, however fleeting, made him seem a lot more approachable than his brother.
"I apologise, I sometimes have this bad habit to get lost in my musings."
"Don't worry," I replied, chuckling at his sheepish expression, "don't us all."
He seemed to agree with this as he smiled back and turned to face me fully,
"I am sorry, my lady, I didn't get a chance before to introduce myself." he extended a hand in greeting,
"I'm Elrohir. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."
I smiled politely, shaking his hand in a firm but fleeting wave as I gave my own greetings.
"Lanette Anderson."
He nodded as if saying that he already was aware, which was not so mind-blowing because I was the only human here, after all, and even if he didn't care for that then the meetings with his father and brother and my friendship with Filvendor was perhaps enough to make him acquainted with me.
"I hope that you are enjoying your time in Rivendell."
I braved another smile, all the politeness and being on the top of my care game draining my energy.
"Yes, it's been nice."
I replied, unknowingly looking back in the direction of Elladan, his proposition weighing heavy on my mind. It was true that I could get help from a warrior eons old than me but it was his stoic attitude mixing with my snarky one that in my mind was a disaster waiting to happen and taking a leaf out of previous encounters, even if we try to be polite it'll be hard to get any semblance of friendship with a person so dead set on closing the world off.
For a moment I had almost forgotten about Elrohir and jumped as I registered his voice,
"You seem a bit troubled, my lady."
Looking back at his concern as his eyes shifted between his brother and me, I smiled, knowing extremely well that he was perhaps the last person to complain about his brother. Sibling bond was strong and the one between twins and magical elves at that... I couldn't even think of it.
"Is there any person in the world that doesn't have something on their mind to worry about?" I replied, my voice, to my pleasure, betraying not one shred of my thoughts but Lord Elrohir was not a scholar for nothing as his previously soft gaze fixed on mine in determination,
"He is not that bad a man." he started and the tone of his voice made me comprehend with sudden clarity the resemblance between them. And as if he realised the harshness of his tone an easy smile took over his face as he inclined his head, "Figuratively of course."
I gave him a reluctant smile, my gaze flickering between the back of Lord Elladan and the gaze of Lord Elrohir and when I spoke next my words were measured,
"I'm sure he isn't, it sort of feels like what an older sibling is trying to be on the case of their younger. "
he laughed at that, the thin tension gone as his eyes sparkled in mirth.
"I am the younger one, my lady."
"By what a few seconds or minutes right?" I clarified and when he nodded shook my head with a rueful mutter, "Does that even count"
"It probably doesn't"
The silence settled for a moment as I muddled over how to break free without being impolite. The glaring stare of Lady Aria was now mixed with another one of her companions and as my eyes met Calyniel she motioned for me to come there, her trembling gaze shifting between me, Lady Aria and the two groups.
I turned towards Elrohir but the words died on my tongue as he cut across,
"He doesn't trust people easily, my lady, and I'm sure he feels guilty for dissuading you when you first came."
I processed his words, my earlier flight response dissuading as I thought perhaps I should listen to him. Coking an eyebrow in question I muttered yet again fixing my glare onto Lord Elladan, thanking my stars that it was actually his back and I could glare as much as I wanted. Even though I was sure he was aware of the dirty looks he was getting, he continued his conversation with cool perseverance and in mimicry, I fixed Elrohir with a stare,
"Why does he have to change now?"
He opened his mouth instinctively and then spoke in a resolute tone, perhaps counting the words coming out of his mouth.
"You proved to be trustworthy my lady. Had you not been able to be there, Filvendor would've surely lost an arm."
I shifted on my feet, remembering Elladan's words of gratitude from a week back and the guilt of not apologising burned in my stomach. I turned my gaze to the ground, squishing the grass beneath my boots unconsciously and twirling the glass of cocktail in my fingers,
"Worse if he hadn't been able to make it back."
He sighed when I didn't reply, his eyes pulsating for just a moment as if he was lost to why wasn't I just convinced but I was too caught up in my musings to notice.
"There are certain instances in life, lady Lanette," he replied again a moment later and this time there was a defeated aura about him that made me return his gaze. Emotions burned beneath the composed surface and I wondered why did these brothers not show their humane side, what was holding them back? Oblivious to my questions he continued, every word made me realise that there was so much more to Lord Elladan and the crack in his perfection what I had thought to be because of his apology, was not more than a small scratch, not even cracking the surface of the complex entity that was him.
"An instance when one's spirit break so savagely that you've to trudge through it, pulling yourself up in spite of the blinding pain you're in if you wish to survive."
His words hit home, hard, and my gaze flickered swiftly between the small royal family and for once that despair seemed clear beneath their perfect stances. I gulped thinking of what it might be to break them so thoroughly.
"I'm sure that you can relate to that my lady."
Looking back into his burning gaze I felt myself nodding, in spite myself and perhaps now their cold detachment made sense. A self-induced response to minimize one's own heartache. Not different than what I did before the operations. It was this small moment of clarity that made another wave of guilt wash over me for just assuming him a jerk.
"Once you move on, you're no more who you once were." Elrohir continued, his own perfect mask breaking until the anger and resentment were clear and so intense in his eyes that I took an instinctive step backwards. It was gone before I could, however, say anything and there was once again the soft kindness and the defeated set in his gaze of a man who had seen too much of what he couldn't forget.
"Some people are softened, kindled when they overcome such pain and some..." he murmured his voice trailing off and as if in a trance I spoke next, my words completing his sentence.
"Some are hardened into a shell of what they once were," I said, my gaze fixed into the lean and tall back as a resolve thickened in my mind.
We both stayed lost in our thoughts for a while until Filvendor turned to beckon us over.
"I hope that you think of the proposal." Elrohir murmured when we were about to walk over.
I nodded and cast a look over at Calyniel, apology seeping into my expression as my eyes met hers. There was something I needed to clarify and if I waste this perfect opportunity I knew that it'll be long before I get another one.
Filvendor and Elrohir engaged Glorfindel into a heated conversation and I took an instinctive step towards the left and stopped when my shoulder brushed against Lord Elladan. My eyes turned towards him, only to find them lowered in question towards me. I relished the surprise that flickered through them as a smile stretched on my face and engaged him.
"So Lord Elladan?" I said, drawing out my words and nearly (nearly) rolled my eyes as Elrohir and Filvendor's gaze pulsated towards us for barely a second and Teralin and Gistofiel's straightened their posture. I focused my attention on the man beside me.
He inclined his head in greeting,
"Lady Lanette."
Ignoring his monotone expression, I coked my head to the side, intent to stare into his eyes so that I might get to see the emotions burning beneath the facade, something to solidify my resolve and prove that I wasn't just grasping at imaginary straws. That he really was the person everyone promised him to be, not just a hollow shell of what he once was.
"So when are we starting?"
"Are you sure my lady," he replied, his eyebrow raised in question and I could see his shoulders tense a bit. The tiny flicker of his eyes told his uncertainty at whether I was sincere or not. I shrugged in answer, looking back at all the live audiences who were pretending that they were not listening and I huffed before turning back towards him.
"Perhaps I can try to trust you like everyone already does," I said, my tone was dubious, sort of like I wasn't sure myself. Looking at him my gaze flickered towards the ground and I inhaled sharply, knowing that it was now or never.
"I know that we got off on the wrong foot and I'm extremely sorry for what I said about not being a healer but..." I started, heat rising in my neck and stumbling over my words. My embarrassment increased at the smirk spreading on Filvendor's face and hoped that I could just smack it off of there. Lord Elladan, quite surprisingly, smiled at me, stopping my poorly sketched out explanation,
"I heard from Lord Elrond My lady," he said, continuing just as I met his intense gaze,
"I am sorry for being so condescending."
He looked truly apologetic and I had no reason to not accept, more so often because my own apology had been so shabby. Because he was making an effort, I felt that perhaps we can start again with an equal endeavour from both the parts.
"Apology accepted," I said, smiling widely as I bounced on my feet. I looked up at him, savouring the flustered back step he took as my dimply smile met his eyes.
"So let's start off in a new direction, shall we." I finished extended my hand. He smiled himself and took my hand into a firm shake,
"Of course, my lady. Of course."
And I thought that perhaps it would be all right. No, looking at the relieved expression of Filvendor and Elrohir I was sure that it will truly be alright.
The days started passing in a blur. Between sword fighting lessons, medical research and sudden fraternizing that I was bombarded with, I had barely enough time for anything else. When I felt too tired, I was glad, that Bilbo would come and drag me off, once a week, sometimes from the library or even from Lord Elladan and I could do nothing but cast an apologetic look at whoever I was with and follow Bilbo. No one minded, though, because in all of Rivendell Bilbo was the most tenacious personality and people had a deep-rooted respect for him that I found growing in me also. Our friendship was based mostly on reminiscing the past and exchanging tales as we sat down comfortably with a hot cup of tea and I found that our tastes matched quite a bit, in our spark for calling trouble or in our choice of cakes, who was to say.
The sword fighting lessons, on the other hand, began with no little amount of hesitancy and uncertainty on both of our parts. On the sweltering day of June, we held the first session and I was out of breath before we were even finished with the basics. I remembered his exasperated look at my expense and he didn't even bother hiding his thoughts when he wondered out loud how I got away from orcs, not once but thrice, and even I agreed wholeheartedly saying that it was surely a fluke and the mother luck decided to perhaps compensate for my situation in such a manner and I didn't mind it one bit. I'd rather do have the luck on my side every time I encountered orcs because God knew what would happen if I was on a bad fortune.
I had learnt the basics from Eohere, back when we were trekking down the mountains toward Rohan and with no practice what so ever, my moves were quite scruffy. Lord Elladan, no matter how distant and authoritative he was, was an incredible swordsman. Even if I didn't mean to, I found myself comparing him with Eohere. Eohere was an eminent swordsman in his own right, perhaps one of the greatest in the men, but there was absolutely no comparison between a man who had been learning it for past few decades and someone who had been learning it for centuries, perhaps even aeons. I had to give credit when it was due and Elladan did deserve it all. During the few first weeks I had practised with him I had felt him explaining and carrying out the basics so well until I could even do them instinctively. When he was satisfied that I knew about my sword, and was familiar, above all else, with its weight and feel in my hands, did he move on, showing me the basics of defence. He had a point when he said that one could only learn how to attack when one knew that even their instincts could protect them from the attacks and the deep basics of defence were integrated into their very mechanisms. I felt caught up in a month. Lord Elladan's knowledge and skills of sword fighting were unrivalled. He seemed to be one with the very sword he slashed and every intricacy, of the material or of the stance he could see and in his conspicuous guidance, I found myself improving my technique.
The month of July dawned and somehow tensions between the Lords ran high. Everyone was agitated, snapping and snarling at a moments notice. It left me confused and no little lost when the anxiety continued.
I overlooked it, long enough perhaps but one specific day during the early fortnight of July I was waiting by the tree for Lord Elladan's arrival. I looked up again, my eyes narrowing and there was this feeling in my stomach that bespoke trouble so when I saw Lord Elladan approaching I disregarded the book I was reading and walked up to him. He apologized, his gaze cold and harsh and there was an uncharacteristic anger burning there that made me flinch even though I was sure that it wasn't directed towards me.
In the past month, we had come to an understanding. Knowing that we could be polite and courteous to each other quite well and neither of us had tried to step into the bounds of friendship, not wanting to rub each other off wrongly. Even though it was like that, we still found ourselves sitting together for we found that we could be extremely productive in each other's presence. Both of us had the spark to not lose and we spurred on with our work in the mimicry of the other. This led to some deep study sessions in the library as he poured over the warfares and me over the medical journals occasionally sneaking off a scroll about some war strategy because I didn't like being illiterate about anything. Soon I found myself contributing to their conversations, in the great hall or when everyone was out there sparring and taking a break in between.
Initially, I had taken to long discussions about medicine and surgery with Lord Elrohir and somehow we always ended up discussing some philosophy. It was by accident one day, while we had been in a spirited discussion about the intricacies of human emotion and the complex and various mindsets that existed out there, that I had found Lord Elladan's views to be pretty close to my own. It had led to the rare occasion of we chatting endlessly about the topic, one leading to another until we just sat under the deep dark dome of the sky staring at the twinkling stars, Lord Elrohir long retired for the night. Perhaps it was after that, that we had accepted each other and the politeness had extended to mutual respect and support although we still addressed each other formally.
In that month I had seen various expressions and had known the things that annoyed him the most but as I saw the unusual tenseness of his shoulders and the anger reflecting in his eyes I couldn't help the hand that rested on his arm, in what I hoped to be a comforting gesture,
"Elladan," I asked, some part of my brain wondering where the formality had gone off to. "Is everything alright?" I couldn't stop the tremble of worry from seeping into my voice and he braved a smile wiping out his emotions clearly until there was this characteristic coldness left into his gaze and I dropped my hand as if burned.
"You know," I said, a harshness seeping into my tone, " I hate it when you try to be so perfect."
"I don't-" he said, his eyes narrowing as if he had reached the end of his nerves.
"No!" I replied, my tone rising in volume. I took a step back and poked an accusatory finger at his chest. I saw the irritation in his eyes, saw that he was already angry but I felt my own irritation rising, the taut atmosphere of the past week getting to my nerves and I felt irrationally angry. All the thoughts of sense flew out of my brain, "You hide whatever you feel Lord Elladan," his eyes hardened at the 'Lord' I had nearly spat out.
"And to me, it is equal to you being untrustworthy and undependable." I didn't even need to look at him again to see that perhaps I had said something wrong. Something that I had said in some other meaning translated to him by opening a wound of old and hurt flickered by his gaze.
He took a step back just as I opened my mouth,
"No Lady Lanette, perhaps I am so undependable", he broke off with a mocking laugh, "and here I thought that you were as understanding as everyone made you be."
I flinched, "I-"
He turned away before I had the chance to say more, "Filvendor and Elrohir are accompanying me on the orc siege. You should hope that they come back safe, for it would do you good to get rid of me."
I gasped in response, my tongue tied as I saw his swift gait take him out of sight.
Chewing my lips and wondering what had taken over me to just lose it like that and be so condescending and petty towards something that he had done just not to worry others. I felt myself sinking to the floor praying again and again that they come back safe, my mind focused mostly on one lord Elladan.
The new next week included major guilt tripping on my part. The worry fraught in Lord Elrond's brow made me despair and I had cornered him about this 'growing shadow in the west'. The answers I got slipped the very floor from beneath my feet. A war looming on the horizon, that is what was making everyone so damn fidgety and when I had asked him who was behind it? he had looked so forlorn and disappointed that for a moment I had hated asking it. The damage had been done and although I had only gotten a vague answer of 'a mistake made way in the past' I had not pushed. Instead, that night, alone in the library I had poured over old wars finally finding the great alliance and reading the records was similar to dousing cold water on my self. That night I hadn't had the strength to even navigate myself towards my rooms and I stared blankly at the records, the tales of massacre and bloodshed running through my mind until the first light of dawn broke through the curtains.
The company returned a day later and I was called by Lord Elrond to treat the injured with the knowledge I had attained until then. I was impatient, wanting to go and see others as soon as possible but complied, sensing my duty and patched up the three injured as best as I could.
Trudging back to the mess hall, I detoured towards the ground we had practised on and found all three of them there, Filvendor and Elrohir animately explaining something to Elladan whose gaze was fixed at some far spot. They perked up at the sound of my feet and when I neared, the Lords started to utter a greeting before I cut them off by flinging my arms around their necks and crushing all three into a hug. That day, as I reprimanded them and pleaded to tell me truly what and how it was happening, I saw the bond between us deepen and no words were required between me and Lord Elladan to repair the week-old mess.
July gave way to the humid August and the frequency of news being carried from the different regimes increased manifolds and we all still pretended as though things were not as bad as they looked. The scouting of the Lord Elladan's company increased both in prevalence and duration and I was left to spend most of my days focusing on the medical studies and hogging anyone free to practice with me.
The start of August brought some news for the Lord Elrond and he cornered me while I was dining with Filvendor and Elrohir and asked me to start with the offence of my training. Elladan came by the grounds irate and strung after his conversation with Lord Elrond, but he was not a man to question the leader his father was and I saw apology and desperation flash through his eyes as they met mine and even though I knew that he wanted me to ask what he knew about Lord Elrond's planning for me, I couldn't find the courage to utter those words and the day ended with a tense and awkward silence as I bid him my farewell. The next day I made up my heart to listen to his words, as Lord Elrond was intent on stalling me but found that they were leaving yet again and the questions died on my tongue as I hoped for their safety.
September dawned with the glimmer of change in seasons. The day being hot enough to sweat and the night dawning with the cold breeze that left me shivering. By the time that they were back again, I was down with a cold and flu. That day as we had gathered on the grounds to practice, Filvendor and Elrohir had somehow integrated themselves into the arrangement, I had been overtaken with high fever with chills raking my body but I was getting shabby because of the little practice I got due to their scouting and insisted that I was fine. Well insisted until Elladan broke away the sword from my grip with the barest flicker of his own and I could do nothing but huff as I was settled into bed.
It took me a week to get better, to make my eyes and nose stop running enough to dehydrate me and needless to say I had missed antibiotics and antiallergics extremely during those days. Lord Elrond had been surprised when such the flu had reduced me to such a state and no matter how many times I tried to explain to him about the dependence on antibiotics it somehow ended with my mind in a fuzzy blank until he had given up on understanding. By the time I got better enough to exert myself again, they were getting ready for one last scout (they said) and were gone for another week that I spent moping. Bilbo had been a great sport during my sickness and even after that and whenever he saw me wallowing in my own self-pity with nothing else to do, he swished me away with tales and lore of old and I found myself transfixed each and every time.
October came around and the tensions in the air seemed to be physically tangible and the unspoken rule of not talking about war flew out of the window as elves started to make their departure to the undying lands one after the other. The first slap of realisation came to me in the form of Calyniel's sobbing as her group left the lands, their arguments of this darkness not being small enough to be thwarted, were now solidifying as a belief in back of everyone's mind.
I hadn't been blind to Calyniel and had seen, along with Filvendor and Elladan the stolen glances between her and Elrohir. They would truly make a great couple as their quiet understanding towards one another was quite remarkable but that had also been shattered after coming from their scout in October. Elrohir had paid others no mind and had rushed to speak with Calyniel. It had resulted in the largest fight I had ever seen between two elves, and such quiet souls at that and the next few weeks were spent in trying to dissuade the two parties, for Calyniel was not leaving for undying lands despite the darkness overtaking this world and Elrohir said that he could see the world burning but not her with it, (not ever) and I had truly cried that night at the fate that had befallen such beautiful souls. We hadn't spoken about it again but a few days later had found Calyniel sobbing in his arms and had thought that perhaps they'll find their happiness one day. Perhaps it was this resolve, the one that made me realise that so many people have been losing their loved ones even before this war had even begun, that dispersed my fear. I thought myself to be ready for whatever Lord Elrond wanted from me because if I could play a role in stopping such misery then come hell or high water I would and Lord Elrond's relief at my words made me realise that I had truly made a nice decision.
In the month of October, T.A. 3018 all the carefully constructed facade of peace fell into one horrible reality, whose wounds continued to haunt us for the rest of our lives.
To be Continued...
A/N: This marks the end of her own adventures and the start of incorporation with the instances of both book and movie. In other words, the main arc will begin from the very next chapter.