Chapter 5! Enjoy and let me know what you think
The waiting room was already bustling with people- sickly children, worried mothers, young injured soldiers and the elderly folk- calmly preparing for Death's kiss. An overwhelming feeling of gratitude washed over Gil as he squeezed his way through, thankful for the health that greeted him every morning and each time he fell asleep.
"Gilbert Blythe?" He heard a strong french accent call from the receptionist's desk. He walked briskly towards her; a young blonde lady, no older than 20. "Hello, that would be me" Gil said and offered her a boyish smile. She blushed and turned away, riffling through a few documents before offering him a tag with his name scribbled in messy french. "Doctor has messy writing." She said peering up him. He chuckled and clipped the tag on his shirt. " Turns out, most do. Although I hope one day I will be able to break that stereotype." She nodded her head and pointed down the long corridor "Soon. Very soon."
OOOO
"Anne?" A voice called up from the bottom of the stairwell. Anne sat up and wiped her eyes with her worn cotton work-dress. "Yes?" "Diana's here" Anne stood up, and smoothed the skirt of her dress. She turned and caught her reflection in the oval looking glass- her hair was rumpled and her cheeks were almost as bright as her hair. Her eyes were dull and her face was wet with tears. She sighed, it didn't even matter, there wasn't anyone Anne even wanted to dress nicely for anymore.
Diana stood at the door well, her dark hair shining behind her as it curled over her shoulders, her eyes big and bright. She smiled as Anne came into view and took a step into her direction. Anne leaned in to hug her- " I didn't know you were coming over!" Diana laughed girlishly and leaned in to kiss Anne's reddened cheek "Oh, neither did I! But the baby is sleeping and Fred told me to go enjoy myself. I thought we could have a picnic- the rain has cleared and it is simply beautiful out."
She produced a basket of goodies from behind her and raised an eyebrow to Anne "What do you think, Anne?" Anne lifted up the woolen blanket and peered at the assortment of pastries. She grinned at her childhood friend, with shining eyes "If you are half the mother to your children as you are a friend to me, then you will be the best mother to walk this Earth, Diana dear. "
OOOO
Gil hesitated at the wooden door. "Breathe" He told himself "Just breathe."
The door opened as Gil lifted his hand to knock. Across from him stood a large man- tall and dark, with heavy crease lines and wrinkles beneath his eyes. He nodded at Gil and opened the door widely, smiled sadly as Gil ducked under the doorway. His sadness caught Gilbert off guard, and he frowned as the man showed him to a plush leather seat. "You are Gilbert Blythe, right." The man asked, his heavy accent shadowing each syllable. "I am Dr. Pelletier, it is very wonderful to finally meet with you" Gil nodded "Likewise." The doctor smiled, and again sadness flickered behind his dark eyes. "You are starting your residency, I understand?' Gil nodded.
The doctor looked at him for a long moment. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, running a worn hand through his hair. The doctor couldn't have been so old and yet- something about him seemed... wiser, and almost ancient-like. He turned to look at Gil. "This is not an easy job my friend. You will see pain and suffering unlike anything you have witnessed before. Most doctors do not last very long here at St. Joseph's. You see, we are a poor hospital, our patients can hardly afford medical care. But they know we will treat them anyway, so people from all over France travel here- the poor, the homeless, and the ones who are bound to die anyway. "
He paused, waiting fro Gil to react. But there was no reaction, so the doctor continued:
"Today we lost 3 children- triplets actually. They had been here for a while and we had been expecting a full recovery. But alas, a rare infection began in one of their bodies, and it quickly spread to the other two." He closed his eyes, his voice trembling " Sometimes, there is nothing we can do. We only have so much money, so much technology and so many doctors." He locked his eyes with Gilbert "This residency will be hard. It will be very hard, Gilbert. You will see miracles- and you will see tragedy everyday. There is no way to prepare for the life you are about to begin."
OOOO
"How have you been, Anne?" Di said, setting down the uneaten croissant onto the blanket. The stained corners of the sheet flared in the wind, begging to fly away. Anne turned her head, staring at the space between the trees- a heavy blue with the occasional flock of birds, chasing after one another. "I'm alright." She murmured softly "Everything is just so...different know. The times have changed greatly, and well.. I wasn't prepared for it." Diana nodded her head and reached out to squeeze her friend's hand. "Anne." She whispered, and Anne looked over at her. Diana winced at the the expression in her eyes. She had never seen them so... dull, and hopeless. So bleak and faded. Those eyes couldn't have been Anne's. Not the dreamer girl. Not the girl who spent her life feeding off of imagination and impossible possibilities. Even in the worst of times, Anne's eyes were never this lifeless.
"It's Gil, isn't it?" It wasn't a question. It was a statement, a confirmation. Of course it was Gilbert. Of course it was the man Anne had spent her life pushing away, the man she swore she could never love. Of course the emotions she had buried away had finally resurfaced, and now Anne didn't know how to control them.
"Do you love him?"
Anne closed her eyes and a tear trickled out hesitantly.
"Anne?"
Anne laughed bitterly and opened her eyes forcefully. They burned with a fierce passion, and Diana almost backed away. "Do I love him? Do I love him?! I don't even think love could possibly describe how i feel towards Gil. I... need him, Diana. I need him like I need my fingers and my toes, I need him and I can't live without him. What I have done, Di?! How did I get here." She paused "I pushed him away Diana. I pushed the best thing I ever had away. I hurt him with no remorse, time and time again. I hurt him, I hurt Roy, and most of all I-I hurt myself. "
Her voice cracked and the tears fell freely down her cheeks. Diana pulled her close and rubbed her back
"My world is crumbling, Di, I-I don't know how to stop it. Everyday, I grow farther and farther away from the person I want to be, from the life I want to lead. And when it all finally falls,all this life I have grown to love, when there is nothing left and no one to hold onto- I won't even be able to rebuild it.
I let him go. There is no one to blame. I set him on fire and he left to put it out. He won't come back for that. He wouldn't do that himself. "
They were silent for a moment. Diana didn't know how to tell her friend it would be okay, to comfort her and assure her that everything would work out. Because truthfully, Diana didn't know if it would.
"Do you know where he is Anne?"
Anne shook her head and pulled away, wiping her eyes with her fingertips. "No. I don't. But even if I did- I wouldn't go after him. I'm probably the last person he wants to see."
OOOO
For the first time in several weeks, Gilbert desperately wished he could see Anne. He needed her now, he needed her support, he needed her advice. He was terrified of his new job; terrified of what it entailed and the effect it would forever have on his life. Was he ready for this? Could he make this commitment? She would know what to say, she always did. But, Anne wasn't here and she wasn't his. She belonged to someone else now, and she was probably very busy preparing for married life.
As much as Gilbert prided himself for the love he had let go and let loose, the thought stung his heart. Gilbert was alone. He was completely, utterly alone; with practically no plan for his future, and a goal so far away it was practically unattainable.
With so much on his mind, the very last thing Gilbert was thinking of was the unshakable cough he had adopted since exiting St. Josephs. No, the soreness of his throat was almost non-existent as he walked back home, occupied by the choices he would soon make and the reality he no longer could ignore. But unfortunately for Gilbert, even Doctors- or future Doctors in this case- are only human, and the battle of life is a battle for all.