Harry ended up spending quite a lot of Sunday talking to people and sorting things out, and a bit of it writing on some parchment as he tried to work out when people would be available.

Fortunately, after speaking to people from the other three Quidditch teams – Draco was in the Slytherin one so that was easy enough to work out – Harry was able to find one time slot where as many people as possible should be able to show up for the first club meeting, and after that it would basically be working out the schedule depending on how many people actually did show up. Maybe only a few dozen people would and it could all be done in one go, or maybe it would be best to sort it out by House?

That was something Harry wasn't sure about.

What he was sure about was that it was all a good idea. Dumbledore had listened quietly to the way Draco described it, then said that it was a splendid idea and he now rather wished he'd had it years ago.

That had made Draco look quite pleased with himself, which was good – and then Harry had started talking to other people to see what they thought, and got more or less the same sorts of reactions. Hermione sounded very interested indeed, and Cedric said that he'd been learning other ways to handle the Triwizard Tournament tasks all through the summer so he had a few ideas about what to do. Then June said that both she and Matthew would be quite glad of the chance to practice combat spellcasting, especially Matthew, and really there wasn't anyone who Harry spoke to at all who thought it was a bad idea.

Except Ron, at first, because the idea of a club that Draco had been involved in setting up was something that made him a little bit suspicious. He had to admit though that the concept was sound, and that Draco would find it hard to be any sort of git if there were basically all the Prefects there at once. Including, say, Cedric.

What all that meant was that Harry was too busy on Sunday to actually go to Fort William to find any new books, but that was only a little bit of a pity – and, around seven in the evening, he decided that because he'd done so much hard work today it would probably be okay to treat himself to a bit of a bath.

The Prefect's bathroom, as it turned out, was one of those places like the Great Hall where there was a lot of magic involved – and a lot of the Wizarding style where they didn't bother hiding how much they enjoyed luxury.

The bath was several feet deep, more like a swimming pool than anything, and not only was it lined with white marble but the sides were lined with bejewelled golden taps (interrupted only for a set of stairs to get out and a diving board, which was over the deepest bit of the pool). There were plenty of towels, as well – Harry's own towel didn't seem necessary when there were two dozen fluffy white towels in the corner – and even the lighting was provided by a candle-filled chandelier, though fortunately they looked like the sort of wizarding candles that didn't drip blobs of warm wax on someone trying to enjoy themselves.

Harry did wonder why there were so many taps. It was such a big bath that it would take ages to fill with one tap – it took long enough for a normal bath sometimes – but that didn't really explain why there'd be lots and lots of taps instead of just a few really big ones, so Harry wondered if maybe turning one tap would turn all of them on.

That was nothing like what happened, but what did happen was – as far as Harry was concerned – much better.

Each tap was hot water mixed with bubble bath, but it was a different kind of bubble bath in each tap, and they were all obviously enchanted. The first one that Harry turned on produced a really viscous blob of water that stayed static under the tap and which turned out to be solid enough to pick up and move (Harry tested it), though when he dropped it it burst like a water balloon and sent froth and suds flying everywhere.

Then there was one which rippled back and forth, sort of like waves with white bubbles on the crests, and Harry thought that if he filled the pool up with that one he'd sort of have a wave machine. But after that he found one which just bounced off the surface of whatever water was already in there, and then a mixture which constantly bubbled but the bubbles went down instead of up.

Whoever had built the Prefects' Bathroom had been both extremely inventive and very good indeed at Charms, because every single tap that Harry tried did something different to the last. If he used it much more than a dozen times Harry thought he might start to learn what most of them did without testing, and then maybe he'd be able to have a preference and fill the bath the way he wanted… but at this point Harry was having too much fun testing, and the bath was filling up anyway so he just got on with it.

After perhaps twenty minutes, Harry had a bath full of hot water, and he got in with a splash.

He'd originally planned to just luxuriate in it, but with how big the bath was (and with the thick layer of ice-like foam over the top) Harry decided to try a few other things instead. So first he swam a few lengths, then he cast a Bubble-Head charm, then he belatedly put his glasses by the side of the pool and used the diving board to dive in.

That made a nice big splash, and broke up the foam into bits, and Harry spent the next twenty minutes or so relaxing in the hot water at the bottom of the bath.

Really, it was a shame all baths weren't like this. He had the feeling everyone would be a lot cleaner.

History of Magic and Potions on Monday went by without anything really significant happening, except for when Blaise argued (at length) that any antidote potion was improved by adding a bit of sprinkled bezoar on top of it.

Professor Snape told him in no uncertain terms that the supply of bezoar was not unlimited and he should not be simply adding it to everything as though it were a condiment, and Blaise said that at his house they had something like ten each, and it went on from there.

Still, they got their notes down about antidotes, so the lesson had gone quite well really.

Then after lunch it was time for Defence Against the Dark Arts, and everyone showed up before the end of lunch itself as part of some kind of unspoken agreement to make sure Professor Umbridge had nothing to complain about.

It certainly looked like a good idea. Professor Umbridge was still brightly smiling when she turned up, but it looked sort of brittle, and she swept past them into the classroom before inviting them in.

"Good afternoon, class," she said, once everyone was seated.

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," all the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws replied.

"Take out your textbooks," Professor Umbridge told them. "If anyone doesn't remember, we're on chapter three. That's the one that comes after chapter two."

Harry got out his textbook, opened it, and found the place he'd actually got to.

"Mr. Potter, which chapter are you on?" Professor Umbridge asked him. "Do we need to explain how counting works again?"

"I finished chapter three, Professor Umbridge," Harry reminded her. "In our first lesson you said to read ahead if we'd finished a chapter."

"And did I say that today, Mr. Potter?" Professor Umbridge asked.

"No, Professor Umbridge," Harry conceded.

"There we are," Professor Umbridge said. "Now go back to chapter three and read it again. That's what we are doing this lesson."

Harry complied, and decided to get out some parchment and re-write the chapter in his own words as some notes to remember it more easily.

"Miss Li," Professor Umbridge invited, a few minutes later.

"What do we do if we finish the whole book, Professor Umbridge?" Su Li asked.

"Read it again," Professor Umbridge answered her.

"But-"

"Miss Li, if you or anyone else questions my class again I will be giving you detention," Professor Umbridge said. "You just need to sit down, be quiet, and read your textbooks. Unless any of you have problems with reading?"

Nobody said anything, and after ten seconds or so Professor Umbridge smiled.

"Then back to your textbooks," she said.

About fifteen minutes later, Harry had finished writing up the basic argument of chapter three.

Really, Harry thought the whole book could have been a lot shorter if Mr. Slinkhard had just outlined what he thought instead of going into all this detail. Maybe the detail was sort of needed for the whole 'proof' thing, but it did seem like he spent a lot of time going not very far.

Someone gasped, breathing quickly, then sneezed with a loud 'CHOO!'

"Detention," Professor Umbridge said sweetly.

"Professor?" Anthony Goldstein asked, putting his hand up.

"Mr. Goldstein, I hope I do not have to explain to another prefect how important it is to have proper manners in class?" Professor Umbridge asked. "It should be easy for you to wait until I call on you. I thought prefects were supposed to be well behaved."

Anthony kept his hand up, and Professor Umbridge let him wait like that for almost eight minutes before finally calling on him.

"Professor, Mike only sneezed," Anthony pointed out. "You can't give someone a detention for sneezing."

"Mr. Goldstein, are you the teacher in this classroom?" she asked.

"No, Professor," Anthony replied.

"That is correct," Professor Umbridge told him. "That is because I am the teacher, and I can give detentions. If you try to tell me what I can and cannot do in class then you will be getting a detention as well."

Nobody said anything for the rest of class, but Harry could guess what they were thinking.

He sort of wondered if you could give a teacher detention. And whether he should use his magic book cover to make it look like he was reading Defensive Magical Theory while actually reading something more worthwhile (such as almost anything).

At dinner, Harry spotted when Anthony took Michael Corner up to talk to Professor Flitwick. He watched, interested, and Professor Flitwick shot an astonished look at Professor Umbridge before saying something that Harry couldn't hear.

The conversation carried on for another minute or so, and then both boys returned to their House table. They looked happy, so that probably meant that Michael wasn't going to have to do a detention for sneezing.

Professor Umbridge didn't look pleased at the result, but then again Harry supposed it wasn't very likely she would be.

"Oh, Harry?" Ron said, drawing his attention. "Got a minute?"

Harry looked at him, and Ron explained. "I've got a test thing as part of my Runes project, and I'd like your help with it. What's a good time?"

"That depends how long it's going to take," Harry admitted. "Is it an evening thing?"

"More of a daytime thing, definitely," Ron decided. "I don't want to wake up loads of people. And… um, maybe half an hour? Maybe an hour?"

"What about Thursday morning, then?" Harry suggested. "I know that means getting up earlier than we normally have to on Thursdays, but if we do it before I have Care of Magical Creatures and you have Muggle Studies that might work."

"Oh, yeah, the free period," Ron realized. "Yeah, that would do, or, if I'm not ready by then we can just work out another time."

"You know," Fred said, with a contemplative air. "It occurs to me that if certain pink Professors keep handing out detentions, and nobody goes to them, she's going to be very lonely in the evening."

"Oh, Merlin, what are you planning now?" Ron asked.

"His name's George, not Merlin," George said. "And we're not planning anything."

"As far as you know."

"As a prefect, I want you two to know that you might get in trouble if you are planning something that breaks the rules," Harry said, then thought about that.

"I mean, you knew anyway," he added. "Because of how many times you've been in trouble."

"And how many times we haven't, don't forget," Fred said. "But we got detention from everyone else… except for some of the other Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers. Actually, George, I think we should fix that."

"I don't think we can get detentions from teachers who've left, George," George said.

"Okay, so, I've been listening for a while now and I'm only more confused," Melody told them. "Which of you two is George?"

"What's a name, really?" Fred mused. "It's just a convenient label we use so that other people know how to get our attention. Am I not George? Is he not George? Are we all not, on a fundamental level, George?"

"No, you're Fred," Harry contributed. "That's George."

"Ssh, you'll give it away," George stage-whispered.

Really, this whole prefect thing did seem to partly be about making sure Fred and George were distracted. And given how easily they got bored, Harry was slightly surprised Professor Umbridge hadn't already caught on fire.

Or possibly caught on sand, which was like fire but safer. An idea Harry wasn't going to mention to them in case they got ideas.

Harry's second patrol as a prefect was a bit less eventful than the first one, and though he checked Professor Umbridge's office it didn't seem like anything was happening there – well, except for Professor Umbridge being there, that was.

There was one thing that happened where Harry encountered Peeves, who was busily stacking up all the chairs in the Transfiguration classroom into a tottering pile that was just behind the door – so that when the door was opened it would bump into the pile and knock it over, sending chairs scattering everywhere.

When Peeves saw Harry, he cackled before zooming off into the distance and leaving the classroom booby-trapped. Harry's first instinct was to put all the chairs away in the right place again, but then he realized that if he did that he couldn't be sure that Peeves wouldn't just come right back and set it up all over again.

It took a few minutes of thinking about it, but Harry decided he should put the chairs back where they were meant to be and then go around using Sticking Charms on all of them to hold them in place. The spell wouldn't last very long, and it would have worn off by the morning, but if Peeves went right back there to check then he'd find the chairs immovable and probably get bored.

Just to be sure, Harry decided he'd also warn Professor McGonagall at breakfast. Then, with the only other person out after Curfew being another prefect, Harry finished his patrol and went back to the common room for an hour or so before bed.

He wanted to make sure he was up early on Tuesday.

Harry put up the first meeting schedule sheet for the Defence Club the next morning, right after passing on his warning to Professor McGonagall. It would have been a sign-up sheet, but since they didn't really know when it would be set yet he thought it wouldn't really be a good idea to ask people to commit to it.

There weren't any other clubs yet which were on Wednesday evening, with the closest thing to an overlap being Slytherin's Quidditch practice, and that ended a bit before the Defence Club meeting was scheduled to start so that made sure it was okay.

Actually outlining what the club was was a bit trickier, but after some thought Harry had decided that the best thing was to say that it was a club for learning practical defensive magic. It would be sort of interesting to see how many people showed up, because by the time Harry left breakfast five or ten minutes later there were already a lot of people crowded around the sheet.

In the first class that morning – Charms – Professor Flitwick started off by outlining to them all the nature of the Colour Change Charm.

"This is of course quite a useful spell if you feel that your bag is quite pleasant, but could do with a better colour," Flitwick told them all, chalking the details on the board. "Or if you would like to see if peas taste better if they are a brilliant electric blue, of course!"

He smiled at them briefly, then went on. "The peculiar thing about the Colour Change Charm is that you can either cast it in the basic way, where you must cast it carefully so that your intent is what determines the colour, or you can cast it in an advanced way where you specify what the colour is as part of the incantation and add an extra wand movement between steps two and three. This means you can get the same colour every time, though of course you must have the right word in mind."

Harry wrote that down, and watched as Professor Flitwick demonstrated – first casting the spell 'freehand', turning a piece of parchment from red to blue, then doing the same thing to a second piece of parchment to turn it from yellow to blue.

When he held them side by side, they were almost the same, but just different enough to notice. Then the Charms Master cast the spell again with the extra wand-flick and the extra word ('Aurantiaco') and both sheets became orange – exactly the same orange.

Ron put up his hand, and Professor Flitwick called on him.

"Hermione used a charm a lot like that to change the colour of my dress robes last year, Professor," he said. "But it didn't change it the whole way up. Is that something that can happen?"

"Indeed it is!" Professor Flitwick agreed brightly. "That is because the colour change spreads out from a point, you see, and you must be careful to make sure you cast the spell with enough conviction – but not too much, as otherwise you could end up with the colour being too bright. This is one of the reasons the named colour system is so useful as any excess spell force is dissipated."

He waited for them all to note that down, then paused. "Oh! And before I forget, I think it would be a very good idea for people to go to the new Defence Club that Mr. Potter has been involved in setting up. Now, we will be starting with the basic form of the incantation, and there is no need to focus on a particular colour just yet – simply try to get the colour as even as possible..."

Harry left that lesson wondering if he could cast that spell with his breath, which would mean he'd be a dragon that could breathe blue, and wondered if there'd be any use for it.

Perhaps it would let him draw big patterns on the grass? It seemed a bit unfair on the grass, though less unfair than if he set it on fire.

Then in Runes it was all about translating rune schemes into effects, this time looking at old Norwegian rune stones to try and work out which ones were magical and which ones had been made by Muggles, and it was sort of interesting that a couple of the Muggle ones actually did have valid rune sequences on them which could have had quite a worrying effect if they'd been magically carved.

The one which Harry thought would have been constantly struck by lightning was an interesting one, for example. It would probably end up destroyed pretty quickly to avoid problems with the Statute of Secrecy, but it was still a cool idea.

Dumbledore made another announcement that evening, which was that those students who happened to share a body could be required to serve a detention incurred by one of their fellow heads (or suchlike, he added), depending on circumstance, but that they were not liable to serve multiple two hour detentions in sequence as the result of each being assigned a single detention.

Professor Umbridge looked quite sour about that one, and Harry could only assume that that meant that she'd actually been planning it. It made too much sense for Harry to think she'd get upset about it if she hadn't already been planning on doing it.

Then he put it out of his mind and started running through the details of how Wednesday was going to go. Sirius had already sent him copies of the books about practical defensive magic, though only a few rather than dozens and dozens, and Harry had the feeling that most people wouldn't want to basically just have it be a book club anyway.

It was an interesting sort of puzzle, and Harry had to concentrate quite hard to not think about it during the homework session that evening. There was a tricky question on Herbology that only Neville turned out to know the answer to – even Hermione was stumped – and Neville said that maybe it was something left in by accident, or something that was meant to find out if people were actually paying attention, or something like that.

Harry wasn't sure that made sense, because you could just look up the answer in a library book, but he supposed that maybe it made sense.

Later on, much closer to midnight, Harry talked to Empress about the defence club – and how it meant that he wouldn't have the time to talk to her tomorrow night, and depending on the schedule maybe several other nights.

"I will be sad if that happens," Empress pronounced, after thinking about it. "But not, I think, as sad as you fear. I was alone with my thoughts for hundreds of years, except for the occasional visits by other Parsel speakers, and you have given me more new thoughts to contemplate than anyone else… and much lighter ones, as well."

She chuckled, in a sort of sibilant way. "I do hope to eventually be able to leave the Chamber of Secrets by day, and to speak to other people, but I am a patient snake."

"I'm glad you're okay with waiting," Harry said. "I'd have felt really bad about it..."

He shook his head. "Shall we go on to where we were?"

"I would like that," Empress decided. "I think that the apprentice Piemur had told Menolly that there was a market day?"

"That's right, though they call it a Gather day," Harry confirmed. "But first there's a bit with Sebell – and his recently hatched fire lizard, Kimi."

There was a much more pronounced slithering sound, now, and Harry sort of pictured in his mind that Empress was getting herself properly arranged to listen to the story.

"On the top of the Fort Hold fire heights," Harry began, repeating the last paragraph from last time, "Menolly now saw the bright yellow pennant..."

After dinner on Wednesday, Harry went up to the Gryffindor common room for an hour or so to get some Arithmancy homework done. That was the only subject he had outstanding homework for which had to be finished before the weekend, so it made sense to get it done now, and Harry sort of noticed as he worked that the common room was emptying out a lot earlier than normal.

Normally it stayed busy until at least nine or ten in the evening, and usually the last people left not long before midnight to go to their Astronomy class that day, but tonight by about ten to seven there simply weren't many people there.

Harry had only a few equations left to solve when the clock did reach ten to seven, and he put his quills and things away up in the Fifth-Year dorms before grabbing his collection of practical defence books and leaving through the portrait hole for the first Defence Club meeting.

When Harry actually went through the door into the Great Hall – where the first club meeting had been set up for – he stopped in his tracks, quite astonished.

In his head Harry had been picturing something sort of like one of the more popular clubs he'd seen, like the book club, but maybe with two or three times as many people. Which would be quite a lot.

Instead, there was what seemed like almost the entire student body in the room. Easily two hundred students, maybe more, all sort of milling around and talking in small groups, and Harry happened to notice that Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape were still sitting up at the high table as well.

Professor McGonagall had a big pile of parchment in front of her and was calmly going through it, one piece at a time, while Professor Snape was reading what looked like the day's Daily Prophet.

"There you are, Harry," Cedric said, catching sight of him and coming over. "I'm impressed, I wasn't expecting nearly this many people."

"Nor was I," Harry admitted, noticing that the conversations in the room were sort of going quieter. More and more people were turning to look at him, presumably taking his arrival as some sort of signal, and then Draco arrived as well through the door to the dungeons and that made most of the rest of the noise fade away.

It might have been that it had just actually reached seven in the evening. It might have been that most of the people who hadn't attended because his name was on it had attended because Draco's name was on it.

Or it might just have been that anyone who wasn't in a group where someone could see the entrance hall was probably in a group mostly facing the other way, which meant they could see the door to the dungeons. It was probably something like that.

"All right, let's get started," Cedric said.

He indicated Harry, who had been wondering how this was going to start for a while and decided to just go with his best guess.

"Thanks to everyone who turned up, and..." he began, then paused and corrected himself. "Which, well, I suppose anyone who heard that has turned up. So that's all I need to say about it."

Harry vaguely heard Draco say something about Dumbledore, but it wasn't clear enough to follow.

"We're probably not going to do any actual Defence Club stuff this time," Harry went on. "Partly because there's so many of us. The idea is that this meeting is when we work out what good times are, and then after that the actual club meetings are in groups that are a bit smaller – so Sixth and Seventh years, then Fifth and Fourth, then probably Third, Second and First. It might take a bit of time to work that out because we'll need to know what all the year schedules are like."

"And in case you're wondering," Draco said, when Harry had finished that bit of explanation, "the Defence Club isn't going to involve any actual homework, because we don't really mind if you don't do well. I'm just interested in not failing my OWLs."

That brought a scattered bit of laughter, because while Draco was just saying what was true he was doing it in a funny sort of way.

"I don't mean that our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is a bad teacher," Draco went on. "Because she's very good at teaching her curriculum. It just happens that her curriculum happens to not align with anything anyone else wants us to be taught, and that includes the OWL examiners."

"Because there isn't going to be any of the teachers involved – at least, we don't think so – can I quickly check something first?" Harry asked. "If there's anyone who's interested in helping to teach others, either by reading up on spells and things for the other people in the club to learn or by teaching people in lower years, can you put your hands or paws up? We only need a few people."

Hermione put her hand up, of course, and so did a surprising number of other people. Harry saw Fred, Cedric, Morag (from Ravenclaw in the same year as Harry), Luna, Ginny, the Barlos sisters putting up a paw (and none of them looking surprised about it, which was what made Harry think that they were probably all volunteering at once) and several more besides.

"Merlin, all of you?" Draco asked. "Do we actually need to do this club if everyone can teach themselves?"

"I don't think everyone put their hands up," Harry said, which was true enough – when he checked Harry could see lots of people who hadn't volunteered – but there was a ripple of laughter anyway. "Okay, we need someone from each year so we can check when any after-hours classes are, and then we can work out when good times for the club are… it shouldn't take too long."

"I can move around Prefect patrol times if it'll make things easier," Cedric pointed out. "We already do that for Astronomy classes, so it's just going to be the same sort of thing again."

Getting all the timetable details took a bit longer than Harry was hoping, because there were some odd fiddly bits like NEWT level Astronomy and Ancient Studies (which was sort of like History of Magic crossed with Ancient Runes, and then crossed with Arithmancy, and finally crossed with Arithmancy again for good measure) that didn't fit the normal timetable.

Working out where to hold the club was easy enough, because Draco had checked and found that there was a large room on the first dungeon floor previously used for storing dangerous creatures. It had apparently very briefly held a Zouwu, a Chinese magical creature able to distort space to move quickly, but then the creature had simply got out through the gap around the door and escaped – leaving behind a space big enough for dozens of students to practice magic at once.

As for the timetable, Hermione was able to help with that, saying that she had a lot of experience with working out good timetables. She listened to all the information, taking concise notes, and after about fifteen minutes every evening in the week except Sunday had a ninety-minute long slot for one of the three age brackets Harry had been talking about – which nicely gave everyone two choices about which one to go to if they couldn't do a slot. That was a much better way of doing things than moving everything else around to fit this one club, in Harry's opinion, and he thanked Hermione for her help before looking up at the ceiling and breathing out a quick blast of Bluebell Flames.

That got enough attention that everyone stopped talking amongst themselves quite quickly.

"Okay, we've got a schedule worked out," Harry explained. "There's a lot of choice, and you only need to go to the ones you want, so it should be nice and flexible."

Hermione tapped the parchment and muttered 'Xerographica', copying it, then stacked the original and the copy on top of one another and did it again. Each time she did the number of copies doubled, and she had enough to hand out to everyone within a minute.

Before they could actually start handing them out, though, the door opened with a bang.

Professor Umbridge did her level best to stride imposingly through. Harry thought there were a few small problems with her attempt to stride imposingly, one of them being that she had her usual smile on, and another being the pink outfit.

Another problem was the fact that it wasn't a dark and stormy night, of course – the sun had only just set, and the clouds overhead were lit up a glorious russet by the setting sun from behind the Cuilins on Skye. It not being a dark and stormy night made it a lot trickier to be ominous.

"Well, now," she said, pleasantly. (Harry suspected that she had to practice it in the mirror, like he had to practice non-toothy smiles in the mirror.) "What are you all doing down here so late, children?"

Harry was about to reply, but Draco beat him to it.

"It's a school club, Professor," he informed her.

Professor Umbridge looked around, still with that pleasant but slightly false smile, and then looked at Harry.

"And why have you started a club, Mr. Potter?" she asked. "A club in what, exactly?"

"It's a Practical Defence club we started, Professor," Draco said.

"I was speaking to Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy," Professor Umbridge said, in a sing-song tone as if Draco was too young to understand her. "I'm sure Mr. Potter doesn't need you to speak for him."

Someone sniggered – Harry wasn't really sure who – and Professor Umbridge looked at him expectantly.

Harry wasn't entirely sure why. Draco had given a perfectly good answer.

"Well?" Professor Umbridge asked. "Why have you started a club? Remember, Mr. Potter, good children speak when they are spoken to."

"It's a club to practice using spells for self defence, Professor," Harry replied. "And the ones which are likely to turn up on our OWLs and NEWTs."

Professor Umbridge didn't seem to like that answer at all.

"That sounds very dangerous!" she said, in a syrupy way. "It sounds like you'll be getting so many of the children at this school in danger..."

"Not really," Harry said. "A lot of it is going to just be making sure that people can cast the spells, not necessarily at someone. And aiming practice can mostly be done with the safe spells like stinging hexes and-"

"Mr. Potter, do you mean to say that you know better than the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor at Defence Against the Dark Arts?" Professor Umbridge asked.

"Well, no, Professor," Harry replied.

He was about to explain further, but Umbridge interrupted him. "Then why is there a Defence Club when you already have a Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson?"

"It's like Charms Club, Professor," Harry told her. "There's already a Charms lesson, and I wouldn't say anyone in the school was better at Charms than Professor Flitwick – except maybe Professor Dumbledore – but Charms Club has been going as long as I've been at Hogwarts, at least."

"Not bad, Potter," Draco said, very quietly indeed. Harry's ear twitched slightly, but he had the feeling that he was the only one who'd heard it.

"Well, obviously, Charms are safe," Professor Umbridge said.

"Does that mean we can practice Stunning Charms, Disarming Charms, Shield Charms and the Patronus Charm without worrying you?" Harry asked, wanting to be clear about that.

"Mr. Potter, do you want a detention for disrespecting a teacher?" Professor Umbridge demanded.

"No, Professor," Harry replied. "But I'm not sure how that's relevant? I was genuinely asking the question."

The whole rest of the room had gone almost completely silent, Harry noticed. He hadn't even heard any sounds of moving paper or parchment for a while.

"As the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher," Professor Umbridge said, after a pause, "I am not permitting this club to go ahead."

"That's not actually something you can do, Professor," Draco informed her. "Professor Dumbledore said that the club can go ahead, so the club can go ahead."

"Mr. Malfoy, I was not talking to you," Professor Umbridge told him. By now her nice sweet talking-to-children voice had sort of gone away, and she was gripping her wand quite tightly.

She took a step back. "I do hope you won't be doing anything dangerous in this club, Mr. Potter."

Harry assumed that that meant he could go ahead, and waved at Hermione. "Okay, Hermione's got the sheets with the schedule, so if people can start taking some and handing them out-"

"Hem hem," Professor Umbridge interrupted. "Don't you think that's dangerous, Mr. Potter?"

"I'm not sure what you mean, Professor," Harry admitted.

"Well, if you're going to be running a Defence Club and you haven't even heard of paper cuts, how do you expect to be any good?" Professor Umbridge asked. "Perhaps I should take over running the club."

"But you teach your curriculum so well in your lessons, Professor," Draco told her.

"And it's the people who set up the club who decide how it's run," Hermione added. "Nobody can just come in and take over a club, but they can set up a rival club and if more people like how that one's run-"

"Quiet," Professor Umbridge said, shooting a glare at Hermione. "Nobody asked your opinion."

Hermione went silent.

She also turned into a velociraptor, which made Professor Umbridge jump. Her wand came halfway up, then she lowered it again and said nothing.

There were a few more seconds of silence, and then Harry decided he should try speaking again.

"There's two slots for each, so you can pick which one works better," he said. "If someone wants to help with the younger students, or in researching which spells the club is going to learn, can you gather together into groups to make sure that about half of you are in each-?"

"Hem hem," Professor Umbridge coughed again. "It sounds like this is terribly disruptive to homework time. If students are going to spend so much time in a school club, doesn't that mean they won't get their homework done? That would be dreadful."

"I actually think Quidditch Club is worse," Harry told her. "I only did it for one year but that was the year I had the least free time."

"Besides, if anyone's so close to the edge that spending an hour and a half in a voluntary club makes their grades collapse, and they keep doing it, I think OWLs can afford to lose them," Draco said, which sparked several giggles.

There was another pause, and Harry decided to keep going again. "If you want suggestions, I think a good start would be the Disarming Charm and the Shield Charm-"

"Hem hem," Professor Umbridge said, clearing her throat yet again. "The Disarming Charm is far too advanced for anyone below fourth year. Perhaps this means-"

"Dolores, that will do!"

Professor McGonagall had stood up.

Her appearance seemed to come as a bit of a surprise to Professor Umbridge, who did a double-take, and it took her a few seconds to react beyond that. When she tried to say something else, though, the Gryffindor Head of House interrupted her before a single syllable had got out.

"Dolores, there are hundreds of students right here trying to teach themselves – in no small part because your curriculum is not giving them what they need for their exams. Any teacher would be delighted to see people so eager to learn, and yet you're spending all your time trying to find an excuse to shut it down."

Professor McGonagall went on for at least five minutes in the same sort of way, saying that the club was a good idea that shouldn't have been needed but that now that it was needed she was proud of everyone who'd come up with it and everyone who'd decided to attend.

It made Harry feel quite pleasant, really.

Finally she reached a conclusion, and after waiting to see if anyone else had anything to say Harry told everyone that the first session of the Defence Club would be for the NEWT students on Thursday and asked everyone who was volunteering to do the learning ahead-of-time to stay behind for a bit.

Professor Umbridge looked like what Harry had read in books was 'pole-axed'.

AN:

It turns out that it's a lot easier to organize this sort of thing if you're allowed to do so.

It turns out that it's a lot harder to disrupt this sort of thing if you have no special powers and all your co workers hate you.