I'll Never Let You Go

Nessian Fluff, this time (I'm serious!)

Inspired by "A Heavy Heart" by Anthony Greninger

Somewhere between space and time, the stars worshiped the night. Dancing atop indigo and violet skies, along rivers of oblivion, and endless chasms of color. But the stars would never be more magnificent then the light that only grew as they held each other.

They were sitting on an armchair, an old rickety little thing. He was much too big for it, and his wings barely fit between the cushions. She was much too small for it, her body barely covered the cushions. And yet, that old rickety little thing was their favorite possession in the place they called their home.

Nesta was sitting on his lap, and Cassian held her to him, as if getting up was something far, far away. She did not mind in the least. He rubbed her back and she nestled her head between his neck, nuzzling her nose into his soft skin and his heady scent.

It came as no surprise that the chair had become their favorite spot. After all, they had learned a long time ago, that the more worn it was, the more beautiful it became.

They had lost count of how many hours had passed, if time had passed at all. Their arms, their legs, their souls had remained entwined, tied and knotted, never to be unraveled again. They did not have to say words, they did not have to declare their love. They simply stared at each other, lost to the world and to the universe.

She didn't want to ruin the peace, didn't want to talk to loud when even the birds hushed to hear their heartbeats, but her heart always wanted to speak to the other half that would listen. Nesta whispered it to him, so soft she was sure it would have been carried on the wind before it had finally reached his ears.

"I've always wanted to be married."

His hazel eyes bore into hers, but he did not say a word. Nesta had forgotten what it felt like to be foolish, until the words toppled out of her lips, but he would never judge her. She would remember that sentiment faster than she would remember her name.

"I didn't think it was possible."

Cassian let her speak, let her voice every ounce of the thoughts she held so dear. He didn't interrupt her once, and she had always loved him for it. She grew up with many people who were far too willing to interrupt her.

"I hated men and I was sure they hated me."

He pursed his lips and she knew he wanted to take her memories away, all the nightmares, all the grievances. But they were her scars, just like the ones that ran along his body.

"I wanted the fairytale. A white dress, a long veil, roses in my hand as I faced the one I loved. I wanted my father to walk me down the aisle."

She looked towards their entwined hands in her lap. The hands that never let go.

"And just like sand, it slipped right through my fingertips."

Nesta leaned her head on his, until their foreheads touched. Something about the feel of his skin always made her feel stronger, more capable somehow. Cassian took one look at her, and nuzzled his nose with hers. Her small smile was all he needed. He leaned up, kissing her nose. Her small laugh scared the demons away.

Cassian had always felt as if Nesta was a walking flame. A person who embodied the sun and every bit of strength held within. But Nesta was first and foremost, an independent human being. She felt more than anybody. So, when she leaned into him, playing with his hands resting between them, he cradled her gently. He grasped her face with his large hands, and held her gaze. The skies had never been clearer.

"One day, I'm going to marry you."

Her eyes widened as she took in his words, but Cassian was just beginning. It was a dream of his as much as it was hers.

"You'll be wearing a white dress, and you'll be no more beautiful than you always are, but you'll still take my breath away."

Her eyes shined, hopeful, and beautiful, and alive.

"Elain will arrange the flowers. Since, she's the only one who's good at that sort of thing. And Feyre will plan the whole thing. It'll all be perfect and somehow so us we won't believe it.

Az and Rhys will be cracking jokes and laughing at me as we wait. The glass of whiskey in my hands will be shaking, from how nervous I am. And Mor will give me advice, even if I'm sure she'd given it to me before."

Cassian shrugged at the truth in his words. He knew his family like the back of his hands.

"I'll want to see you, and I'll be so frightened every time I think of going to your room. You'll say it's bad luck, and I won't take you seriously. But I know that it means a lot to you, so I won't push it."

Her lips rose at the pout that formed on his lips. He had always been a whiner.

"I'll be waiting for you at the end, and every step you take will feel like an eternity to me. I'll want you by side in an instant, but I'll savor every moment that I get to look at you."

His fingers glide along her ivory skin, a sweet contrast to the tan of his. They had been brought together by stardust and an infinite amount of possibility.

"Our family will surround us, everyone we have ever loved. Even if they're not all there, even if some of them can't be there, they'll all be sitting and watching, surrounding us with their love."

Her eyes swarmed with unshed tears and her heart was both heavy and light. As if the world was on her shoulders but balloons were strapped to her back. She was both ready to fly away and never leave the ground.

"I'll say how much I love you, because I love you more than the stars above me. I'll say that I don't want to live without you, because I can't imagine a life where I'm happy without you. I'll say that I know you hate the cauldron for what it took from you, but how I thank it every day for the miracle in front of me."

His soft smile awoke a love so fierce, she would go to war to protect it. But right now, she only wanted to hold him.

"Your eyes will be looking at me, like they are now. Shining, big and bright. And when the priestess says I can kiss you, I'll look at you, asking for permission. I'll never do anything you don't want to do. You'll probably roll your eyes at me, and when you lean up to kiss me I'll probably hold my breath. I'll probably feel like passing out, but I'll hold you and kiss you, while the others complain that we're taking forever and to get a room. We'll ignore them like we always do."

Cassian's lips touched hers softly, gently. Coaxing hers into revealing her deepest secrets. But he already knew them. He knew everything about her.

"I'll never want to let you go."

Nesta may have lived where the stars shined brighter than any light known, but she swore it would never compare to the light of his eyes and the warmth in his heart. Her body couldn't take it any longer, she just needed to be closer. The rickety, old couch wasn't small enough. She wanted to hold him forever if she could, protect him, keep him, love him for the rest of her days.

He whispered a prayer into her skin, tattooed it into her neck. She wanted to hear it again and again, as long as she lived.

"I'll never let you go."

Bonus:

Red was the first color she saw when she awoke the next morning. It wasn't from love, though heart was filled with it and it wasn't from anger, though Cassian wasn't next to her. An oddity, when he was the one to always complain that she got up too early.

It was the softness of the petals, a delicate rose greeting her good morning and a happy afternoon. It lied on her bedside table, and a harsh white stood right next to it.

Nesta sat up and looked around her, listening for thudding or curses, but nothing. The quietness alit Nesta in flames and caution. She took the note and read the scribbles painted along its body.

Good morning, beautiful.

I know you, so I know you'll look at this before you look at the rose. You are my best friend, you are my soulmate, you are everything I have ever dreamed of. Yesterday, I told you I'd marry you. Today, will you do me the honor of being my wife?

All my love,

Hopefully your fiancé, Cassian

P.S. Look at the rose

She rushed to grab the flower, and like clockwork, along its stem- a ring. Nesta swore she couldn't breathe. The ring fell right into her palm.

Nesta stared at it with wide eyes and a racing heartbeat. She held it between her fingers as if it would somehow fly away.

A moment later, Cassian walked in, breakfast in his hands. He had barely set it down, before she was burrowing towards him. He caught her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. His arms once again encircled her and she once again held him close.

She didn't have to voice aloud her answer to him.

She'd never let him go either.

This was so easy to write which surprised me cause fluff is not easy to write. But idk maybe I was sick of sad stuff. I hope you liked it, we always need more fluff in the world