It would be so much better for everyone if she could find a way to get out of this dismal place. But would it? If she in fact wanted to escape, would she not have done it by now? After all, she was a true Gryffindor at heart; her spirit was far from cowardly, and she would not have hesitated, just pushed him away and found a way out from this room. She was clever enough to discover a way to persuade him to let her go.
But no – there she was, her nose almost touching his, her eyes half-closed, heart still pounding in her chest as she tried to catch a breath through her slightly parted lips. She could feel the warmth of the man's body radiating around her. Had she wanted to get out, she would not have even thought of the possibility of kissing him, and yet...
Why would she even think of it? He was her teacher, for goodness sake, even though she was already considered an adult – everything would have been different if she had not come back to Hogwarts, but she had. Maybe that was her problem? That for a split second she had forgotten about the relation between them, back then, when she had returned to the Shrieking Shack to save him? For a tiny moment she saw him as a person, a man, not a teacher. Why had she allowed herself to think of him that way during summer?
There was Ron awaiting her at home. They had never actually become a couple officially, but she was sure he was in love with her, was he not? Especially after that kiss in the Chamber of Secrets earlier that day. Then why, why in the earth could she not think of him as of her boyfriend? Would kissing another mean cheating on Ron...?
Hermione knew Ron was nothing like Snape. Those two men were nothing alike – starting with what they looked like, through their behaviour, to finish with even the smallest details. Ron could be cute and caring, however, it did not change the fact she had understood they could never be together. It would do no good to either of them. Of course, everyone expected the two of them to end up as a couple, and while Ron would probably be enraptured, it would not be the same with her. She needed more.
Then, there was Snape: a mysterious, dark, intelligent man; someone more mature than boyish Ron. His love was not as pure as Ron's could be – nevertheless, it was much deeper and at the same time more disturbing.
Hermione was not just an annoying know-it-all everyone wanted to see in her. She was a woman, a well-read one. And while not many would ever think of it, she had a vivid imagination, developed by having read lots of novels as well – while she did love reading textbooks, there were also other things she had found lots of pleasure in reading. And which woman had never, not even once, dreamt of a mysterious man, madly in love with her?
While it was nothing she was proud of, this mysterious man in her mind actually did have a face – a face which was now so close to hers.
It would be so wrong to allow herself to do that! To just once plunge into a forbidden dream she should have never dreamt. But then, it could be just a non-committal kiss. No-one had ever said it would mean they would be a couple afterwards. Yet, would they be able to resist such a temptation? Would they be able to forget it had ever happened?
"If I kiss you," she whispered, knowing she could not try Snape's patience any longer, "will you let me go?"
"For tonight, yes, if this is what you want," he replied in a low, husky voice that somehow made her tremble.
But was that really something she wanted? Right now, she was only sure that it was the best solution – no-one would see her exiting Snape's room in the morning, which might definitely arouse some people's suspicion. Besides, it would give her a chance to think of everything, to wrap her mind around all of the happenings of that night.
Maybe it was really just her wish to escape, or maybe she truly wanted to just kiss him. Something flipped in her stomach as she closed her eyes and cupped his cheek in her hand – it was strangely cold, or maybe her skin was so hot...?
Severus waited no longer; although he knew that she had said she would kiss him, he was getting way too impatient. She drove him mad, and every second that parted her from him was like an hour, a wasted one.
Holding her face in his hands, he leant in and kissed her like he had never kissed anyone before her. The little pecks he had used to give Lily were nothing compared to this, but he could not treat her as if she were a girl. She was not a girl anymore: she was a woman, and he would treat her like one – a strong, beautiful woman he would never share with anyone. Especially not with that dumb Weasley boy.
He had seen him look at Hermione sheepishly when both of them were on their sixth year, and it was obvious he would make his move – but Ron would never give her all Severus could offer to her. No, never would Severus let that idiot steal this woman away from him. She deserved more, and while Snape did not believe he was an ideal man, he could see the difference between a foolish boy and a mature man.
And he was sure Hermione saw that, too.
At first, she was surprised when Severus pressed his lips tightly against hers. It felt so wrong, he was her teacher! But the longer it lasted, the less she hesitated. If it were wrong, would it really feel so good...?
Without a second thought, she wrapped her arms around him and shifted in her armchair, wanting to be closer to him. It had to be their only kiss, and if they were never to do it again, she wanted to make it memorable.
The moment she completely gave into the kiss, she understood that it was the very thing she needed. Not the pecks she got from Ron, not his sloppy attempts to court her. She liked Ron, very much so, but not the way he would like her to like him. While he saw a girlfriend in her, she could only think of him as of her friend, just like of Harry. They were like her family, brothers, but nothing more.
Severus, on the other hand, was something completely different. His hungry, impatient kisses made her tremble. For this little moment she was not a student – he made her feel like a queen of their own little kingdom.
Somehow he managed to mix two completely different things together – at the same time he was passionate and fiery, and delicate and caring. It was something Hermione had never felt that way with anyone; it awoke the deepest, the strongest, the dakest desires in her heart, ones she had not been aware of.
The kiss was over sooner than she would like, however, she realised that it had lasted longer than it actually should have. Severus's lips lingered close to hers for a while before he pulled back, still breathing heavily.
"You should go," he whispered out of sudden, and Hermione understood he was right.
If she stayed there any longer, she was not sure how far they would go – and they had already gone way too far. Whatever they thought, whatever they felt, they had to remember that they were still a teacher and a student.
Still not believing it had really happened, Hermione touched her lips. She could still feel the shadow of Severus's lips' touch on them. How would she be able to attend his classes from now on? How would she look in his eye? It had been difficult before, when she had arrived there, knowing it was her who had saved his life, but now? Now it was going to be almost impossible.
"Do you... regret what we've done?" she asked quietly, not glancing up at Severus, who had already stood up and began pacing around, his hands crossed behind his back. It was obvious he was trying to calm down.
"No," he replied simply, then came to a halt to turn back and look at the girl. "Do you?"
The question was so sudden – but had she not surprised him just the same before a moment? And he had not hesitated even a bit, then why would she?
"I should go," she said, her voice trembling, as she stood up.
Snape grimaced.
"Why won't you answer my question, Granger?" he asked in an irritable voice. "I answered yours – then act like a Gryffindor you are and answer mine."
Hermione swallowed hard and forced herself to look up at Severus. His eyes were locked upon her face, his features betrayed no emotions; however, there was something strange about the way he stared at her, with even more fascination than before. He was an obsessed man, and it both terrified and flattered her.
"I do not," she responded quietly, feeling her lips tremble, "however, I do realise it should have never taken place."
"And yet, you have done that – you kissed me back."
There was a smug smile on Snape's lips which reminded Hermione about her thoughts. Yes, she had returned the kiss. She had wanted it so badly, even though she would rather deny it. But how could she deny it right now, with Severus staring at her almost as if he could pierce her body and mind with his glance, and read the deepest secrets of her heart?
"It means nothing," she retorted almost immediately, not really thinking of the consequences, so she regretted it right after.
The expression upon Severus's face changed. The smile disappeared, replaced with a frown, as he marched close to her. She wished she would be able to turn her face away, but she could not, and his cold eyes almost made her freeze.
"Nothing?" he repeated, and the tone of his voice could not mean anything good. "It was nothing to you, Granger? I would've believed that if you were just another foolish girl, but you are not. I will never believe that."
Hermione was not quite sure whether Snape was already convinced, or tried to convince himself, saying that out loud.
"You would've never put your education and my career in danger if it meant nothing. You wouldn't have kissed me back..."
He clenched his teeth, and Hermione took a deep breath, holding it for a while to calm down, but it did not work. After all, she knew he was right, no matter how hard she tried to pretend he was not. But if she admitted it... what would happen then?
"For God's sake, you're my teacher, we have no right," she replied desperately.
"And yet, you chose to kiss me. You did not push me away, Granger, do you think I don't know what it means?" hissed Snape. "It was not an emotionless, harmless peck you might have given to one of your friends."
"You seem to be awfully experienced in this matter," snapped Hermione, which made Severus raise his brows.
"So you think?" he asked, then sneered. "I believe you do deserve a month of detention, after all, Miss Granger."
Hermione's cheeks went completely red, her hands clenched into fists. She realised – or maybe imagined – that Snape was looking for any excuse to see her more often than they should, with no-one watching them. Was he trying his luck or just mocking her?
"You can't..." she started, but Snape cut in, narrowing his eyes.
"Don't tell me what I can and what I can't, Granger," he growled, his voice not resembling his usual velvety whisper. "You haven't come back here to get expelled after the very first night, have you? Then watch your tongue."
It was definitely the conversation Hermione would have imagined to have after the first kiss with someone – moreover, with someone she had just praised so much in her mind. The emotions he evoked in her were exactly the opposite of what she would have ever wanted to feel. This moment was as far from romantic as possible. And yet, there was some tension neither of them could ignore, and she saw that in his eyes, too.
Nevertheless, he had her in his grasp. There was nothing she could do – as if he was the puppeteer holding the strings attached to her wrists and ankles. If she was not careful enough, he would get her expelled. Or worse, she would fall for him.
"How do you imagine our lessons from now on?" she asked, swallowing a curse. "Everyone can guess there is... something... between us."
"Then it's our business not to let them guess what it is," he answered with another smug smirk. "Unless you do want them to know."
"There is nothing between us!" gasped Hermione, not believing she was really having this conversation with this man.
"If you keep repeating that, you may even believe it at some point." Snape tipped her chin up, forcing her to look up in his eyes. Although she had expected to see some kind of victory in his glance, she was surprised to notice something quite different.
Behind the cold in his look, there was a completely different emotion – and she could not even call it obsession or fascination she had seen before.
There was a possibility she was just imagining things that did not exist, or maybe that she was exaggerating. Nevertheless, she would swear that it was tender love that he tried to bury so deep that even he would forget about it, covering it with passion bordering on insanity. Would he really look rather like a madman than a caring person? Or was it a way to protect the soft part of his heart, which had already been hurt too much?
"No-one can know," demanded Hermione, her voice quiet but full of force. "Do whatever you can not to let anyone know."
"You underestimate me, Granger. Do you really think I'd risk losing you right after tonight?" he asked, smiling – and for the first time it was not an irritating sneer.
His hand rested on her cheek, and although she felt a terrible urge to just push him away, something much stronger kept her in place, making her lean into this touch. He was not the man she would dream of, and yet...
...yet, she had dreamt of him all summer.
"You'd better go," added Severus, taking a step back, and a strange shadow crossed his face. With a small flick of his hand, the hidden door swung open. "I expect to see you tomorrow evening for your detention, Granger."
Hermione felt sick to her stomach as she turned back to leave. As soon as he could not see her, she started running, her heart still pounding mercilessly in her chest as she thought that for the next month she would be trapped with this man.